Monday, June 4, 2001

1:02🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13🔗 Voiceover Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Half a guest tonight, Dr. Bruce, who fills in for Dr. Drew and is also a board-certified and also has a specialty in addiction medicine as well as emergency medicine and laser tattoo removal is here tonight to give himself a plug.

1:41🔗 Dr. Bruce That's right. He gave us all, he gave facial, laser facials to everyone. People lined up in the hall.

1:46🔗 Dr. Bruce I've had anal sex.

1:47🔗 Adam Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bruce. Mike's hot. Mike's hot, buddy.

1:50🔗 Dr. Bruce One thing I wanted to say, two physicians can sign you in as mentally disturbed. How long can we put them in the?

1:56🔗 Dr. Bruce We can have procedures done on them.

1:58🔗 Adam You can do 72-hour observation on me, can't you?

2:01🔗 Dr. Bruce No, actually, that's the one thing we can't do. We can just have you, right? We aren't licensed for that, are we? I thought so. We can send you to a procedure. We can say it's an emergency.

2:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Really? We can say you're not capable, you're not competent to make a decision. I think that wouldn't be fantastic.

2:17🔗 Adam If you did that, an ambulance would show up, and then the cops would show up if I resisted, right? You'd eventually cart me off, right?

2:24🔗 Dr. Bruce They'd see your behavior and they'd know we were right.

2:26🔗 Adam Then you'd be out of a job.

2:28🔗 Dr. Bruce No, but Bruce does tattoo removal and Bruce does dermabrasion. That'd be interesting for him to talk a little bit about that and what people hear about, particularly tattoo removal, because that's not something that people really know that much about.

2:38🔗 Adam Well, not via the laser or actually any mode. I mean, most people assume that if you're going to remove a tattoo, it's going to be years, it's going to be thousands of dollars, and you're just going to have a big wad of scar tissue shaped like the iron cross that was formerly there. But Bruce, via his high-falutin laser, can remove this thing without what? How many sessions, and I know they vary, but just give me average size tattoo and average age tattoo on a guy's forearm. How many sessions with the laser?

3:12🔗 Dr. Bruce For non-professional street tattoo, the width, the length doesn't really matter.

3:16🔗 Adam That's why I kept saying average, because I knew we were going to have to get in all these qualif.

3:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes. Non-professional tattoo, five to eight treatments, four to eight weeks apart.

3:25🔗 Dr. Bruce How big? No matter how big?

3:26🔗 Dr. Bruce No matter how big.

3:27🔗 Adam Right?

3:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Whatever area.

3:28🔗 Adam Five, five day treatments. Now he's going over to his right.

3:32🔗 Dr. Bruce How about some professional tattoo? What's the color? Wait, wait, wait. There you go. There you go.

3:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Can be a little more challenging. In some of the inks, there's no standardization of inks in the tattoo industry.

3:41🔗 Adam There isn't.

3:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, there's not where I can call someone or look up exactly what's in the ink. And the pigments in the ink are based on heavy metals. So for instance, mercury and red ink, and molybdenum cadmium, there are various heavy metals that are responsible for the color that are involved in the pigments. So as you get into using the laser to remove the various colors, there's not standardization. So it's harder to predict how long it's going to take. But the blues, some of the shades of blue are more difficult.

4:11🔗 Adam So the colors are tougher than just a black or blue ink.

4:14🔗 Dr. Bruce Generally. Black ink, street tattoos.

4:17🔗 Dr. Bruce Somebody has an orange tiger all over their shoulder.

4:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. About 10 treatments average.

4:23🔗 Adam And how far in between treatments?

4:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Four to eight weeks.

4:28🔗 Adam Four to eight in between sessions. So if it's going to take 10 sessions, it could take a year or more.

4:34🔗 Dr. Bruce And is it slowly fading over that year?

4:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes. Now, the misconception is that when you're using the laser, you're destroying the ink. Most people, some doctors included that get involved in doing this, are surprised that what you're actually doing is you're just breaking up the top layer of the ink, allowing the body during that four to eight weeks to absorb the ink.

4:52🔗 Adam Do you want your body absorbing those heavy metals?

4:54🔗 Dr. Bruce That's a good question. They've done studies. In one study, they had some interesting cyanide-type compounds forming in the ink, but they felt that there weren't high enough concentrations to cause, with some of the colored inks. But your standard black ink, what's interesting is when you ask the guys, what do you use for ink? Lots of variation, toothpaste, urine.

5:16🔗 Adam Throw away.

5:17🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, many things are thrown into the...

5:19🔗 Adam Urine for ink.

5:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, things mix together.

5:22🔗 Adam Like in prison.

5:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

5:24🔗 Adam And does it make a difference what color you are? If you're a black guy, is it easier to get rid of or harder?

5:30🔗 Dr. Bruce That's a great question. What you're doing when you're going after the ink, the wavelength that's used is the same wavelength as for melanin, the skin pigment. So you have to be careful. The more skin pigment you have, the more likely that you're going to remove that along with the ink.

5:45🔗 Adam I have seen also some guys in the old days who had, not old days, I'm talking about 10 years ago, who had tattoos removed that had just a big lump of scar tissue.

5:55🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, they used to cut them out.

5:56🔗 Adam Left in its place.

5:57🔗 Dr. Bruce That's all they would do. Or they'd scrape them out. They'd sort of sand them off.

6:01🔗 Adam So you just have a big keloid scar.

6:03🔗 Dr. Bruce The size of the shape of whatever.

6:06🔗 Dr. Bruce And in the early laser.

6:07🔗 Adam To me, it's just covered up with silly putty at that point. I mean, it's less noticeable. So you can do it so that when you're done with an average tattoo, not a big colorful parrot, but an average tattoo, when you're done with the laser treatment, you won't know anything was there.

6:23🔗 Dr. Bruce Most of the time. And if someone has very light skin, you can almost be assured of that. Now, if they have a tendency to scar, if they form keloids, then you have to, again, be very careful. And the energies that you use and the length of the sessions, they're variables that come into play.

6:39🔗 Adam All right. Bruce, do you want to give a phone number out? Give a plug?

6:42🔗 Dr. Bruce And, you know, the other thing is, I'm working with Father Greg Boyle in East LA and we're doing a community-based tattoo removal program. And in the LA area, the number for that is 323-526-1254.

6:57🔗 Adam So if you're, let's say, an ex-gang member, wants to get rid of some markings.

7:01🔗 Dr. Bruce Completely free program.

7:02🔗 Adam Right. And take a pin, dip it in some needle, and write this number into your forearm.

7:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Use a guitar string, that's better. 323-526-1254. And if you forget that, it's Jobs for a Future. It's in East LA.

7:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Do you have an 800 number?

7:16🔗 Dr. Bruce I have an 800 number and it's 888-340-7790.

7:22🔗 Dr. Bruce But that laser does all kinds of things, right?

7:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, we do. The laser facial is called, it's a non-ablative rejuvenation of the skin. It's become quite popular.

7:31🔗 Adam Is ablative mean using a blade?

7:33🔗 Dr. Bruce Ablate means to destroy. Oh, so the CO2 laser which is used, is one of the lasers that's used to resurface the skin. It's given the procedure some, I shouldn't say a bad name, but there's a lot of fear involved because you're actually ablating or wiping out an entire layer of skin. So you're down time, four weeks, eight weeks, you're waiting for the skin that layer to regrow. That's the CO2. So the new non-ablative, you're actually using the same laser in very similar settings to what you use for tattoo removal. And it's an interrupted beam. It's not a continuous beam. So you don't have heat build up in the skin. And as Drew just had, we just did the procedure before the show.

8:14🔗 Adam Right.

8:14🔗 Dr. Bruce What did you do to Drew? We did the non-ablative photo rejuvenation.

8:18🔗 Adam You're trying to get rid of that teardrop tattoo he got when he was in the joint?

8:22🔗 Dr. Bruce No, sorry, Drew.

8:23🔗 Adam He brought it up.

8:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Second, third finger.

8:25🔗 Dr. Bruce At our age, you start to get very, very small wrinkles. Sun exposure causes some early aging of the skin. So what this does, it'll shrink pores and it will eliminate some of the small wrinkles. But the bottom line is it causes collagen to start to grow. And collagen is the support structure for the skin. And as you age, it's inevitable the collagen will break down. Your skin looks thinner. You get more wrinkles. So this is sort of a byproduct of the tattoo removal process. They found that it causes collagen.

8:55🔗 Adam I'll tell you, Bruce, you may want to try that on yourself because in just a few short years that I've known Dr. Bruce, he has gone from Howdy Doody to Opie Taylor. So he's now a nine-year-old.

9:07🔗 Dr. Bruce You had to have a laser on your faggity self.

9:10🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, please. In another 10 years, you'll be 19.

9:14🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, well, it depends how much time I spend with you. The aging might accelerate.

9:18🔗 Adam Thank you.

9:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Thank you very much.

9:20🔗 Dr. Bruce What's the 800 number again last time?

9:21🔗 Adam One more time with that 800 number.

9:23🔗 Dr. Bruce 888-340-7709.

9:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Again, 888-340-7709.

9:33🔗 Dr. Bruce If you want to start a community-based tattoo removal program, I'd be happy to give you advice no matter where you are.

9:39🔗 Adam All right. God bless you. Doing the Lord's work.

9:42🔗 Dr. Bruce I had a little sex and I passed out a couple of times.

9:44🔗 Adam Bruce, hold on. Mike's hot. I'll tell you, this is better than giving a guy a shovel or handing him a new sweatshirt. This really can give a guy a new lease on life.

9:57🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. How often are we telling people, hey, you want that job? Why do you think they're not hiring you?

10:02🔗 Adam Lose the F, the LAPD, that's a scrawled across your forehead. Megan?

10:07🔗 Yeah.

10:08🔗 Adam You're 16?

10:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:09🔗 Adam What's up?

10:10🔗 Caller Um, it hasn't, it's, this has only happened once. Like when I recently had sex, I orgasmed. And when I orgasmed, my body went numb. And it stayed numb for about three minutes.

10:22🔗 Dr. Bruce Were you, were you hyperventilating? Were you breathing real hard?

10:25🔗 Uh, no.

10:26🔗 Dr. Bruce You don't think so, huh?

10:28🔗 Caller No.

10:28🔗 Adam Well, don't you breathe a little hard when you're having an orgasm?

10:32🔗 Caller Yeah, when I'm orgasming, but like, not like as to where I was hyperventilating.

10:37🔗 Adam Yeah, but you don't always know. I mean, if you're, when you do that.

10:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:43🔗 Adam Especially when you're in that state. Do you have powerful orgasms?

10:47🔗 Caller Uh, yeah.

10:48🔗 Dr. Bruce Was it the entire body, one side of the body?

10:50🔗 Caller Well, it was mainly my arms, but, and my feet, but that was...

10:54🔗 Adam Well, maybe that was just from the guy holding you down.

10:58🔗 Caller No, he wasn't really holding me down by my arms or anything.

11:00🔗 Adam Just playing a hunch. All right. What about this, Drew? And what about the three minutes? Was it a full three minutes?

11:07🔗 About, it was between two and a half to three minutes.

11:11🔗 Adam That means 30 seconds to me. Yeah. Women have no ability to gauge time or distance.

11:16🔗 That's not true.

11:17🔗 Adam Oh, very true.

11:17🔗 Very true.

11:19🔗 Adam That's why you guys can't parallel park. The car behind you is either too close or a mile away, and you can't figure it out. So what should you do, Drew?

11:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Nothing. I don't think it's... Bruce, you don't have anything it would mean that would be of any significance?

11:30🔗 Dr. Bruce No, I've never met anybody that hyperventilated that knew that they did those.

11:34🔗 Adam Right. So maybe you're hyperventilating and you don't know it. Is this through intercourse or oral sex? Intercourse. Son of a gun. Wow. 16. Boy, are you ahead of the game. How old is this guy?

11:49🔗 20.

11:51🔗 Adam Using birth control?

11:53🔗 Yeah.

11:53🔗 Dr. Bruce What are you doing?

11:54🔗 I'm sorry?

11:55🔗 Dr. Bruce What are you using for birth control?

11:58🔗 Orthotricycline.

11:59🔗 Dr. Bruce All right. Fair enough.

12:01🔗 Adam I don't trust this criminal, this 20-year-old who's humping you. What kind of guy is he?

12:07🔗 He works in an auto body shop.

12:09🔗 No.

12:11🔗 Adam Spreading bondo all day in wet sanding. We never talk about the guys who do body work, but that is- No. It is just below metal worker. These guys are actually repairing metal. Yeah. I don't trust this guy.

12:25🔗 Caller Okay.

12:26🔗 Adam All right. Keep an eye on him.

12:28🔗 Caller Okay. I'll do that.

12:28🔗 Adam Does he have a El Camino that's up on blocks?

12:31🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

12:32🔗 Adam Does he have a car that he's fixing up?

12:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:35🔗 Adam He does. What kind of car?

12:36🔗 Caller It's a Camaro 87.

12:38🔗 Adam Oh. I was going to go with Chevelle. It's my next guess. Okay. Don't get pregnant. Where's your dad?

12:45🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

12:45🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

12:46🔗 Caller My dad lives in New Mexico.

12:48🔗 I haven't talked to him for about a year.

12:50🔗 Adam Okay. All right, baby. Keep an eye on this auto body worker. It's the lowest form of life, these auto body guys. I don't know. One day I'm going to... Nice, you idiot. Listen, you doctors. You realize you have pagers and they go off constantly, right? You got to flick them off. Okay. I'm going to one day write down a... I'm going to do one of those pyramid type charts. I think at the very top might be roofer.

13:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

13:19🔗 Adam And then, you know, under the next two bricks in the pyramid might be, you know, metal worker, auto body shop, and then drywaller, framer. I'm going to work it out one day.

13:31🔗 Dr. Bruce On a pyramid of...

13:32🔗 Adam Yeah, pyramid of jobs to avoid for your daughter when she's dating.

13:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Self-actualization scales. Yeah.

13:38🔗 Adam Brittany?

13:39🔗 Caller Yes.

13:39🔗 Dr. Bruce You're 13.

13:40🔗 Adam What's up?

13:41🔗 Caller Okay. I've been seeing this guy for like almost a year now. And we've had anal sex twice.

13:48🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh my god. How old are you?

13:49🔗 Caller I'm 13.

13:51🔗 Dr. Bruce How old is he?

13:52🔗 Caller 20.

13:53🔗 Oh my god.

13:55🔗 Caller Yeah. And I was just wondering if like any damage could like happen.

13:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Your soul.

13:59🔗 Adam Your soul could be smashed by his penis.

14:04🔗 Caller So is there any like bad damage that could happen to me since I'm so young?

14:10🔗 Adam It's not really your age physically where the problem is.

14:15🔗 Caller Okay.

14:15🔗 Adam There's more of the emotional damage.

14:17🔗 Dr. Bruce Right.

14:17🔗 Caller All right.

14:18🔗 Adam Who is this guy?

14:20🔗 Caller He's my neighbor.

14:23🔗 Dr. Bruce How long has he been doing this to you?

14:26🔗 Caller For about a year.

14:28🔗 Dr. Bruce This is child abuse, right?

14:30🔗 Adam No.

14:30🔗 Oh, yeah.

14:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, yeah.

14:32🔗 Adam 19 and 12.

14:34🔗 Caller He's 20.

14:35🔗 Dr. Bruce But when you were when you were 12, though, is when it started.

14:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

14:38🔗 Caller I'm turning 14 in like four days.

14:40🔗 Adam Ah, well, that's different. Practically ready to move out. You got to start thinking about a retirement fund. Yeah. This guy is a criminal. Oh, yeah.

14:52🔗 Dr. Bruce Complete and total criminal.

14:54🔗 Adam I mean, you were seeing this guy when you were 12 years old, technically.

14:57🔗 Caller Kind of, yeah.

14:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Did somebody do something to you before you were 12?

15:00🔗 No.

15:02🔗 Caller Not at all.

15:03🔗 Adam And what does this guy do? Is he still living at home?

15:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:09🔗 Adam What does he do? Junior college, work around, metal?

15:12🔗 Caller Actually, he's a mechanic. He fixes cars and whatnot.

15:18🔗 Adam Yeah, that's metal. Alright, and he lives with his mother?

15:23🔗 Caller Yeah, he lives with his parents.

15:25🔗 Adam His mom and dad both live at home? And you guys have been neighbors for how long?

15:31🔗 Caller Um, ever since I've... Actually, maybe about five years.

15:37🔗 Dr. Bruce How long has this been going on for, really?

15:39🔗 Caller About a year.

15:41🔗 Adam And are you keeping it secret?

15:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:45🔗 Adam And what do you do? How do you... you sneak off together?

15:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:49🔗 Adam Put a hole in the fence? He puts his penis through it?

15:52🔗 Caller No, I just... I don't know. I see him at night a lot, though.

15:56🔗 Dr. Bruce I would suggest you tell someone, an adult. This guy's got to be taking the task. This is a disaster for you. It is.

16:04🔗 Adam Yeah, this guy's a full-blown criminal. He's a horrible, horrible individual.

16:10🔗 Caller Okay.

16:11🔗 Dr. Bruce You don't understand that, do you?

16:12🔗 Caller No.

16:13🔗 Adam You think he's a good guy?

16:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Why?

16:15🔗 Caller I don't know.

16:16🔗 Adam Does he tell you he loves you?

16:18🔗 Caller Sometimes, yeah. Well, I don't know.

16:21🔗 Dr. Bruce No, he never tells you that.

16:22🔗 Caller It's basically just like a sex thing, like we're together. That's probably really horrible to say, but it's just our relationship is just based on sex.

16:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but it's not our relationship. It's him.

16:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:34🔗 Dr. Bruce This is what he gets. He's abusing you.

16:37🔗 Caller Really?

16:38🔗 Adam Oh, yes. I guarantee this guy is an abuser and you're a victim.

16:44🔗 Dr. Bruce I mean, that's what I mean, this defines it.

16:48🔗 Adam Yeah, and the sodomy on top of the whole thing.

16:53🔗 Caller Okay.

16:54🔗 Adam How often you guys engage in that?

16:56🔗 Caller Like, I don't know, maybe a couple of times a week.

17:00🔗 Dr. Bruce It's going to affect your ability to trust men and be close to men in the future. I really do suggest you tell someone about this. This guy needs to be brought to justice.

17:07🔗 Adam Well, who should she tell?

17:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, I'm almost afraid if she would tell his dad, imagine what he would do.

17:13🔗 Adam Her dad? Her dad's not around.

17:16🔗 Caller Yeah, he is.

17:17🔗 Adam He is?

17:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:18🔗 Adam Is he drunk?

17:19🔗 Caller No.

17:19🔗 Adam He's sober?

17:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:21🔗 Adam When did he get sober?

17:23🔗 Caller He's been sober all of his life.

17:25🔗 Adam Really?

17:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:26🔗 Adam What's his drug of choice?

17:27🔗 Caller He doesn't do drugs.

17:29🔗 Adam What's his problem?

17:30🔗 Caller He doesn't have a problem.

17:31🔗 Adam He's got to be out of it.

17:32🔗 Caller Uh-uh, he's a really good dad, actually.

17:35🔗 Adam Really?

17:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:36🔗 Adam Where did he go wrong with you?

17:37🔗 Dr. Bruce He hit you.

17:38🔗 Caller Well, no, actually he didn't. I just think my parents have kept me on a really tight rope when I was little.

17:45🔗 Dr. Bruce No, no, no way. Not unless they did it by smacking you around, by whooping you whenever they needed to.

17:50🔗 Adam Are they religious people?

17:52🔗 Caller No.

17:53🔗 Adam Hmm. They just didn't give you your space? By the way, how much space do you need at 13?

17:58🔗 Caller I don't know.

17:59🔗 Dr. Bruce Are you homeschooled?

18:00🔗 Caller No, not at all.

18:02🔗 Adam How are you doing in school?

18:05🔗 Caller Okay, I guess. I don't know.

18:08🔗 Adam What grade are you in?

18:09🔗 Caller I'm in E.

18:12🔗 Adam Okay, so who are you going to tell about this?

18:14🔗 Caller I have no idea.

18:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Maybe somebody at school?

18:16🔗 Adam I don't think she's going to tell anybody about it.

18:18🔗 Caller Well, should I tell a counselor at school?

18:21🔗 Adam Yeah, that would be a great move forward for you.

18:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay. Hey, take her number. Annie, you in there? Yeah. We're going to take your number and follow up with you in a couple of weeks to see how things are going, okay?

18:33🔗 Caller Okay.

18:33🔗 Adam All right, no more rendezvous with this guy either.

18:36🔗 Caller Okay.

18:38🔗 Adam Believe me, when you get, and I'm not even saying our age or his age, I'm talking about just 16. You're going to look at a guy like this and go, Jesus Christ, he was a criminal, okay?

18:51🔗 Caller Okay.

18:51🔗 All right.

18:52🔗 Adam All right.

18:52🔗 Caller All right, thanks.

18:53🔗 Adam All right.

18:53🔗 Oh, boy.

18:55🔗 Adam What a lovely, lovely neighbor. Jesus Christ. I tell you, guys, they never cease to disappoint.

19:02🔗 Dr. Bruce No, they don't, do they?

19:03🔗 Adam Just when you think guys hit an old time low, they go just a little notch lower. They really, they're really amazing. What name is that?

19:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Zev.

19:16🔗 Zev. Zev.

19:18🔗 Adam Zev. Yeah. Zev. What's happened in Zev? You're 19.

19:22🔗 Caller Yeah. A couple, actually five years ago, my sister committed suicide. And yeah, it was really traumatic. I was just entering high school and everything. And on top of that, everyone thought I was gay, so they made fun of me every day. And then, yeah, so like.

19:38🔗 Adam Wait a minute. How old was she when she committed suicide?

19:41🔗 Caller She was 25. She had borderline personality disorder.

19:45🔗 Adam Oh boy. Okay.

19:46🔗 Caller Yeah. And like, we kind of, like I had known she tried to commit suicide, but it never entered my mind. And then it was, it really devastated me because I walked in and there she was doing it with, I don't remember what drug it was, but I went downstairs and I told my parents, I said, Oh, I think something's wrong with my sister. And they were like, Oh, okay. Well, just put a blanket over her. And cause they thought she was safe, you know, cause they were in her home and stuff. And my parents are very caring. It's just, you know, it's not something that you automatically think, Oh, my child's committing suicide.

20:23🔗 Adam So I mean, you, you opened the door and she was taking something or convulsing or?

20:27🔗 Caller No, she was crying on the phone. That's all.

20:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but what about your cover over her?

20:31🔗 Adam She was on the phone.

20:32🔗 Dr. Bruce Were these both her biological parents?

20:35🔗 Caller My dad is her stepdad.

20:37🔗 Dr. Bruce Where's her dad?

20:38🔗 Caller Her dad, I don't know, he was like, he molested her.

20:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay, there you go. And by the way, that's mom. Mom was just, hey, put a blanket on her.

20:49🔗 Adam Right.

20:49🔗 Caller No, that, well, my mom or my step mom, she took my sister's car keys away because she didn't want her to go out that night. And she like, I remember just talking to her about it. And she was just like, yeah, my sister.

21:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Did her biological dad find out she killed herself?

21:10🔗 Caller Yeah. My step mom told him.

21:13🔗 Adam That's nice. I wish I was there when he got the news. There you go, buddy. She just finished what you started.

21:19🔗 Caller Well, and you know, happy birthday. When she was like 12 or something in Louisiana, when we lived in Louisiana, she was like gang raped by these black boys.

21:29🔗 Adam But it was all started by her biological dad, got the ball rolling early. Yeah. Making her victim. So what's your question?

21:37🔗 Caller Well, I can't, I just, whenever I get into a new relationship or a new friendship, like my first thought is this person is going to hate me and they're going to leave me. And like, I just feel like it's my sister that's causing this.

21:51🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

21:51🔗 Caller No.

21:52🔗 Dr. Bruce It's your mom. Where's your mom?

21:55🔗 Caller My mom, she moved back to Louisiana about a year ago.

21:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. It's your mom. Yeah. What did she check out of your life?

22:03🔗 Caller Well, when I was little, she sent me to live with my dad in California.

22:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Why?

22:09🔗 Caller Financial reasons is what she said.

22:11🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

22:13🔗 Adam Your mom's a bad person, right?

22:16🔗 Caller She's amazingly selfish, yeah.

22:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. That's the problem.

22:19🔗 Adam That's bad. She's a bad mom.

22:22🔗 Dr. Bruce You really end up with attachment problems.

22:24🔗 Adam You're not gay?

22:25🔗 Caller Oh, I am actually.

22:26🔗 Adam You are gay?

22:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:27🔗 Adam Oh. Well, then the guys making funny in high school were, I mean, you can't fault them. Yeah, they were perceptive. You know, I was thinking though-

22:32🔗 Dr. Bruce They were perceptive.

22:33🔗 Adam Very perceptive.

22:34🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh my God.

22:35🔗 Adam Guys have a very keen eye for that in high school. But as you were telling me, the guys were making fun of you for being gay, and I was thinking about your name Zev. It doesn't rhyme with homo, pansy, queer bait. You know, it's a good name to give a kid if he's going to be gay, because his name is Ray, he's screwed, or Shlomo, you know, that rhymes with homo. Yeah.

22:58🔗 Caller Well, you know, actually, I came out about a year ago, and that felt really good.

23:04🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but you've got to have some attachment problems with that mom. It's got to be very difficult for you to be close to people, because you didn't get the nourishment and the ability to develop the kinds of attachments that are necessary in order to have intimacy. And that's your model of attachment, is a mom that leaves you.

23:18🔗 Adam Okay, so we don't like to take this easy route too much, but therapy, therapy, therapy, therapy, and then more therapy.

23:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

23:26🔗 Adam Actually, I want you to find a therapist and-

23:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Move in.

23:29🔗 Adam Chain yourself to them.

23:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

23:31🔗 Adam It's sort of like the defiant ones when they broke out of prison. Did you ever see that?

23:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Chains of Love?

23:37🔗 Adam No.

23:37🔗 Dr. Bruce No, officer.

23:38🔗 Adam No. I think it was like Robert Culp and Rosie Greer or something. I can't remember.

23:43🔗 Dr. Bruce The Two Heads?

23:44🔗 Adam Yeah, there's something about the Two Heads, but there was another one where the guys were chained together and breaking out of prison. Someone needs to do another one of those movies. Remember when every third movie was about a black guy and a white guy who were shackled together and broke away? And were on the lam? Yeah. Anderson? Stir Crazy tells me.

24:05🔗 Dr. Bruce Take this one real quickly.

24:06🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Steve, who's 23.

24:09🔗 Dr. Bruce For Bruce.

24:10🔗 Adam Steve?

24:11🔗 Caller Yeah, hi.

24:12🔗 Adam What's up?

24:12🔗 Caller I got a question for Dr. Bruce. Actually, I've got two questions, but the first one is, I've gotten scars on my nipples from when I had nipple piercings. I wanted to know if there was a treatment to get on again. I mean, the nipple rings are gone and the scars are remaining. If there's a laser treatment or anything like that, that can be done to kind of reshape them back to the way they're supposed to be.

24:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, scars do respond to the ND YAG laser, which is really the same laser that's used for tattoo removal.

24:45🔗 Adam Keloid scars do?

24:47🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, keloid scars are a little trickier.

24:49🔗 Adam Because that's what he's got.

24:50🔗 Dr. Bruce How about stretch marks?

24:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Stretch marks do well, and if you have keloid formation, I would consult a plastic surgeon, which I'm not or something like that. Because that's very tricky, and you could stimulate further growth of the keloid very easily. But for garden variety scars, lasers do very well.

25:11🔗 Dr. Bruce So would you have to see a scar like this to know whether or not laser could help it?

25:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes, in the nipple area, that's... So you got basically a keloid formation in the nipple area from the ring.

25:24🔗 Caller I don't know what keloids are.

25:25🔗 Dr. Bruce You have a big bump, that the scar is a bump?

25:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:28🔗 Dr. Bruce And it's distorting the nipple a little bit?

25:29🔗 Caller Yes.

25:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

25:32🔗 Adam You see what God gives you? That's God's punishment.

25:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

25:36🔗 Adam Yeah. You really shouldn't be able to get rid of it. I'm glad the laser doesn't work on it. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a good deterrent for other screw balls when you get the nipple rings. This is what happens, everybody. You screw around and this is what happens. You're around with five nipples.

25:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Do you have problems with scarring before that, before you had the nipple rings put in?

25:55🔗 Caller I don't think so. I mean, I have scars from surgery, but it's never... I've never, you know, had like just normal cuts and stuff.

26:03🔗 Adam All right. Well, you need to consult yourself a good plastic surgeon and see what he can do for you. But the laser, unfortunately, the laser is not going to take care of that one.

26:14🔗 Dr. Bruce First, you have to visualize it. It's like one of the Derm questions on the radio. I'd have to see it and determine exactly the nature of the scar.

26:22🔗 Adam Yeah. You can kind of picture it, though. Can't you?

26:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Kind of.

26:26🔗 Adam Close your eyes. You're picturing scarred nipples?

26:29🔗 Dr. Bruce But I'm not sure there is.

26:33🔗 Adam Something you may have bitten in college?

26:35🔗 Dr. Bruce You've got that look in your eye.

26:36🔗 Adam All right, buddy. We're going to take a little break. Dr. Bruce here talking about nipples and lasers. And you after this.

26:44🔗 1-800-LOVE-191.

26:46🔗 Adam We'll be right back. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Drew and I and producer Ann were just having a little discussion about vigilante justice.

27:36🔗 Dr. Bruce And why should we be freer in this country?

27:40🔗 Adam Here's the deal with vigilante justice, because I just saw a whole special on A&E on it. And basically, here's how the law that's in place works now. If some guy abducts your daughter, drugs her, rapes her and videotapes it, and does it over and over again and then kills her, and then it turns out he has a long history of this, and has done it many times to many other people over a course of many years, and you go over there and shoot him, you will get the same punishment that he gets.

28:11🔗 Dr. Bruce No, maybe worse.

28:13🔗 Adam Well, I'm not sure about worse, Drew.

28:15🔗 Dr. Bruce I thought you said they got off this one case you were talking about.

28:19🔗 Adam No, the couple that was doing the raping, well they actually, well they were dead, so they didn't actually, I would have liked them to drag their corpse to trial, but they didn't, taxpayers didn't see fit to pay for that. But the point is, is I'm all for that kind of thing, and I'm all for judges, juries, and prosecuting attorneys and everyone just sort of looking the other way. And here's what they say, they always say, we cannot live in a society that's this way. And I always think, how can we not live in a society that's this way?

28:51🔗 Dr. Bruce You know what? How can we live in a society the way it is now? How can we let this keep going this way?

28:56🔗 Adam Yes, let me pose the question of this attorney. Somebody repeatedly rapes somebody's daughter, abducts her, films her, drugs her, and kills her, and that guy goes there and puts a bullet in his head, and that guy does 100 years without the chance of parole? What kind of society is that? You explain that one to me, Mr. Harvard lawyer. Explain that kind of society. I would rather live in a society where the guy goes and puts a bullet in his head because I'm not planning on abducting and raping anyone. Maybe abduction, maybe rape, never together.

29:27🔗 Dr. Bruce I understand.

29:28🔗 Adam You understand my policy, Drew?

29:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I've known you for quite some time. You never put those two crimes together.

29:32🔗 Adam That's right. Sometimes it's rape, then abduction. Other times it's abduction, then rape. Never the same night. Right, Drew? Right.

29:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Well, it's the same night.

29:42🔗 Adam So I'm all for the vigilante justice. And furthermore, when they say, well, look, if we don't prosecute this guy, everyone is going to get a green light to that. Well, by the way, okay, let's explore that angle. I do not mind you sending a green light to all the fathers whose daughters were raped, drugged, filmed, abused, and killed. I have no problem with that.

30:07🔗 Dr. Bruce If they get that green light, perhaps the people that perpetrate that crap won't be so apt to do it.

30:12🔗 Adam That's another very good point you make, Drew. And then, here's what I say you do. You do it on a case by case. You take it case by case. They go, well, this is going to send a message to society. Well, here's what you do then. If a guy burns out on your front lawn and you go over there with a shotgun and blow his head off, then you take that guy and you send him to jail. And if he rapes your daughter and you go over there and blow his head off with a shotgun, you don't send him to jail. You see, it works out very easily. You just take it case by case. Jesus Christ. They did a whole special on A&E on guys who had been abused in neighborhoods that had been terrorized and threatened by guys. And at the very end, the bad guy ended up getting shot. But the guy who shot him always did maximum time. And these guys were guys with no record with ex-military guys, retired guys, guys who were being threatened by the guys who they finally put a bullet in. I wanted to go insane. I really, all the guys who prosecute these guys, I really would like some vigilante justice perpetrated on them. I really would. Jesus Christ. Heather?

31:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

31:32🔗 Adam You're 16?

31:33🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

31:33🔗 Adam What's up?

31:35🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, I've been masturbating since I was 4 years old.

31:39🔗 Adam Masturbating?

31:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

31:42🔗 Dr. Bruce To orgasm or just sort of?

31:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Just to do it.

31:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, that's all right. That's normal.

31:46🔗 Dr. Bruce I was like 4.

31:47🔗 Adam That's all right.

31:47🔗 Dr. Bruce That happens.

31:48🔗 Adam That's diddling.

31:49🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

31:50🔗 Dr. Bruce And since I was in 6th grade, I wanted to have a baby.

31:53🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. OK.

31:55🔗 Dr. Bruce And I want to go through with it, but I'm like, I don't know. I'm scared.

31:59🔗 Dr. Bruce Have you had sex?

32:00🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes.

32:00🔗 Dr. Bruce How old were you when that started? How old were you when that started?

32:05🔗 Dr. Bruce When I started having sex?

32:06🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

32:09🔗 Adam How old was the guy?

32:11🔗 Dr. Bruce He was twenty-two.

32:13🔗 Adam We got a real theme show going tonight. And what happened with him?

32:18🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't know. I got mad at him, so I stopped talking to him.

32:22🔗 Adam All right.

32:23🔗 Dr. Bruce Got mad at him because he was with someone else?

32:24🔗 Dr. Bruce No, because I didn't want to do what he wanted to do.

32:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Which was what?

32:29🔗 Dr. Bruce He just wanted me to run away and stuff and go with him, but I didn't want to.

32:34🔗 Adam Sweet. And now you're smart enough to get away from him.

32:39🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

32:39🔗 Adam You have a boyfriend now?

32:41🔗 Dr. Bruce No, not currently.

32:43🔗 Adam All right. Why do you want to get pregnant so soon?

32:45🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't know. I've always wanted a baby.

32:48🔗 Adam Well, why don't you go to high school, go to college, meet a guy, get married, have a kid, the traditional route.

32:56🔗 Dr. Bruce The old-fashioned way.

32:56🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, I just want one now, though.

32:58🔗 Dr. Bruce What would that do for you?

33:00🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't know.

33:01🔗 Dr. Bruce What do you think it would do for you?

33:03🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't know.

33:04🔗 Dr. Bruce Why do you want one so badly? If you don't know, why don't you examine that, for starters?

33:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, because I just always have wanted a kid in my...

33:11🔗 Dr. Bruce All right. Well, listen. Let me tell you what you want to for her. You want something to love you, right? Someone to be there for you, someone to take care of, someone to be close to, right?

33:20🔗 Dr. Bruce I don't think so.

33:21🔗 Adam All right. I'll just put her on hold for a minute. I just can't take the I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

33:27🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, they don't know it's the problem.

33:28🔗 Adam I know.

33:29🔗 Dr. Bruce But it's the very reason they shouldn't be having a child.

33:30🔗 Adam Listen, if you can't at least take a stab at something, don't call the goddamn show. I can't take any more I don't knows. Everybody, here's the deal. When you call this show, you at least have to make the effort to do just an ounce of soul searching. You know, Drew asks you a question or I ask you a question, hesitate for a moment, think for a second, try to give us a truthful answer.

33:52🔗 Caller I can't answer that.

33:55🔗 Adam Heather?

33:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:57🔗 Adam So, where's your dad?

34:00🔗 Dr. Bruce My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old.

34:02🔗 Adam And your mom, she raised you?

34:04🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

34:05🔗 Adam How is she?

34:06🔗 Dr. Bruce She's fine.

34:09🔗 Adam Perfect?

34:10🔗 Caller Yeah. Uh-oh.

34:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Don't you think you're looking for someone to take care of, someone who will love you back, someone that's unconditionally there for you?

34:17🔗 Dr. Bruce I take care of a baby right now. It's not like, I take care of my sister's baby.

34:24🔗 Adam Okay.

34:25🔗 Dr. Bruce How old is your sister?

34:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Um, seventeen.

34:27🔗 Dr. Bruce Seventeen?

34:28🔗 Yeah.

34:29🔗 Dr. Bruce How old was your mom when she had you?

34:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Um, like twenty-five.

34:32🔗 Adam Twenty-five. Yeah, but she's the fifteenth kid.

34:35🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, how many siblings do you have?

34:37🔗 Dr. Bruce Um, three.

34:39🔗 Dr. Bruce And how old is the oldest?

34:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Seventeen.

34:41🔗 Dr. Bruce There you go.

34:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

34:42🔗 Adam All right. Starting to make sense. Hey, Heather, wait a minute. You got three siblings. The oldest is seventeen.

34:49🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, two younger than me.

34:52🔗 Adam I see. Are they daughters or sons?

34:57🔗 Dr. Bruce I have a little brother and little sister.

34:59🔗 Adam All right. All right. And does mom have a stepdad? Do you have a stepdad now?

35:04🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

35:05🔗 Adam Who is she cranking out these kids with?

35:07🔗 Dr. Bruce With my dad.

35:09🔗 Adam I thought they got divorced.

35:10🔗 Dr. Bruce They did, but they had kids before they got divorced.

35:12🔗 Adam Oh, just recently they got divorced?

35:14🔗 Dr. Bruce No, she was 8. She was 8 and the other kids must have been little babies.

35:17🔗 Dr. Bruce No, they had my brother. He's 14 and my sister is 10.

35:21🔗 Dr. Bruce So one of them was 6 and one of them was 6.

35:22🔗 Adam I see. All right. Hey, tell your mom to slow it down just a little bit. Is she trying to keep her legs crossed for 5 minutes?

35:29🔗 Dr. Bruce She hasn't had a kid for like 10 years.

35:33🔗 Adam All right. Well, why don't you just take care of your sister's kid a little and then, you know, when you get your head on straight, you have your own kid.

35:42🔗 Dr. Bruce You're not ready, Heather. You're not. There's no way. This is not about you. You wanting to have one does not mean you should have one. When you are clear that you can do what it takes to support the continual growth of another person for 18 years, both financially and emotionally, then go ahead.

35:59🔗 Adam You know, Craig?

36:01🔗 Hi.

36:01🔗 Adam Hey.

36:02🔗 Hey, hold on a second. Let me turn my radio down.

36:03🔗 Adam All right. There we go.

36:05🔗 Hey, how's it going, guys?

36:06🔗 Adam Good. Craig, you're 32. What's your question?

36:09🔗 Caller My question was for Dr. Drew. I'm about 107 days into recovery off of marijuana and alcohol. And I'm starting to have real bad cravings again. And I was wondering...

36:20🔗 Dr. Bruce For pot? Yeah.

36:23🔗 Real bad.

36:24🔗 Adam You want pot more than the booze?

36:26🔗 Caller Yeah. The booze is just too much. It's like the pot is just so easy to do. I mean, don't let anybody say that pot's not addictive. It's probably more addictive than heroin.

36:38🔗 Dr. Bruce It's very similar to heroin, Craig, in terms of how it's not as powerful, but in terms of how it affects the brain, the kinds of problems that people get into in recovery. It's actually very similar to heroin.

36:46🔗 Caller I mean, I just, I used to do it all the time. I mean, I used to sit up and wait for you guys to come on and I'd be completely loaded. Yeah. That's what I do. Listening to you over the years, I mean, I got to listening to you, Dr. Drew, and you've really helped me into my recovery.

37:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Right. Are you going to MA?

37:04🔗 Caller Well, no, I'm actually going to AA.

37:06🔗 Dr. Bruce Great. Fabulous.

37:07🔗 Caller I found that NA is just filled with a bunch of losers.

37:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, listen.

37:11🔗 Adam Wait, is that NA or MA?

37:12🔗 Dr. Bruce He said NA.

37:13🔗 Caller NA.

37:14🔗 Adam Yeah, but what about MA?

37:15🔗 Caller I haven't gone to marijuana.

37:17🔗 Adam You're really going to find the losers in MA.

37:19🔗 Caller Bunch of skaters and snowboarders.

37:21🔗 Dr. Bruce Greg, you don't have a sponsor yet, do you?

37:23🔗 Caller Yes, I do have a sponsor.

37:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, call your sponsor. You should be helping you through this.

37:26🔗 Caller The problem is that I don't like my sponsor. All right.

37:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, get a new sponsor then. But one thing the sponsor is there for to help you through times like this and other people you've been connected to in the program, now is the time. This is when you got to deploy those relationships.

37:39🔗 Caller I know. And then to top it all off, there's this woman that I like in recovery.

37:43🔗 Dr. Bruce No, don't do it.

37:44🔗 Caller And I heard you about...

37:46🔗 Adam He's a few weeks, four months.

37:49🔗 Dr. Bruce I swear to God, I can't tell you how often I've seen relationships screw up somebody's recovery. It's actually the usual problem. If somebody's recovery is going well, it's either the recovery isn't going well, they're not following directions, or a relationship gets involved in power. It's all over.

38:02🔗 Adam Why does a relationship screw it up?

38:03🔗 Dr. Bruce Because you go back to some of your old modes. You know that people's craziness, nowhere does it come out more than in a relationship, right? Yeah. If you're really trying to grow emotionally and change, and you get involved with someone who often is someone similar to the kinds of attractions you had when you were an addict, and not doing well, that pulls you back into that same mode, that same person that you were when you were an addict.

38:26🔗 Adam Better or worse to date another programmer?

38:31🔗 Dr. Bruce It's worse if both are early in recovery, way worse. If one is well into recovery and the other is early in recovery, there's something wrong with the one that's been in recovery for a long time that they would date the one early in recovery.

38:42🔗 Adam Oh, you know.

38:43🔗 Dr. Bruce So if both are a long time, that's fine, that's good.

38:46🔗 Adam Hot piece of ass rolls into that NA meeting.

38:49🔗 Dr. Bruce That's the problem. They start looking for ways to manage their unpleasant feelings, what say Greg is feeling, through sex or whatever, just immersing themselves in one of those old, hostage relationships they're so used to.

38:59🔗 Adam Yeah. All right.

39:00🔗 Dr. Bruce It's using arousal as opposed to really using attunement.

39:03🔗 Adam Hold on a second, Smart Guy. Amanda?

39:05🔗 Caller Yes.

39:06🔗 Adam 22?

39:07🔗 Caller Yes.

39:08🔗 Adam Rape Saturday night?

39:09🔗 Caller Yes.

39:11🔗 Adam What happened?

39:12🔗 Caller Well, basically, a good friend of mine who's a doctor and I trust him, you know, being friends and all, he and his girlfriend wanted me to go out. He has a lot of family in town, out of the state.

39:26🔗 Adam Hold on. Is this Dr. Marcel we're talking about?

39:28🔗 Caller No.

39:29🔗 Adam Sounds like the kind of thing you do.

39:31🔗 Caller Unless he's in Texas.

39:33🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm a rapist.

39:34🔗 Adam Drew, please, let her finish.

39:36🔗 Caller Anyways, we go out with his cousin and we go to a couple of clubs and, you know, we have beers and drinks like normal people do. And we go home and I couldn't drive home. So I wanted to sleep on the couch. And my friend got me a blanket and a pillow and everything. And his cousin wanted to sleep on the floor. I didn't really think he was a threat to me because throughout the night I never, you know.

40:05🔗 Adam All right. So the cousin raped you?

40:08🔗 Caller I woke up. I fell asleep.

40:09🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. I just wanted to get the quick little rape bite in there before we went to break. And I knew it was going to be a long story when blanket and then pillow got broken up into two separate sets.

40:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Then he got me a blanket and then he got me a pillow.

40:26🔗 Adam I know. I know. I know. There's nobody worse than me. That poor girl was raped.

40:29🔗 Caller I'm making fun of her.

40:31🔗 Adam Amanda?

40:32🔗 Caller Yeah, you're insulting me.

40:33🔗 Adam Hold on. Hold on.

40:34🔗 Caller Don't insult me.

40:35🔗 Adam No, I'm not. It's just it's my mistake. We got to take a break. And I thought we'd just, you know, get this sort of a thumbnail sketchier story before we went in. It was taking too long. But that was my fault. I didn't I didn't give you a pep talk. So the cousin raped you.

40:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I woke up and he was right. Yeah.

40:53🔗 Adam On top of you.

40:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:55🔗 Adam OK. And this inside of you.

40:57🔗 Caller Inside of me.

40:59🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. You woke. You didn't wake up until he was inside of you. OK. Hold on.

41:04🔗 Caller I have a lot to drink.

41:06🔗 Adam Hold on. Hold on. Listen, that's blackout or that's past abuse or that's something because I've poisoned myself with alcohol before.

41:16🔗 Dr. Bruce Every time you wake up before the guy's inside you.

41:19🔗 Adam Right.

41:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

41:20🔗 Adam Not that I stop him.

41:21🔗 Dr. Bruce No, but you're waking up before.

41:23🔗 Adam Well, I tell him to put a condom on. We'll take a break. We'll get back with the man. Hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam. That's Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. And when we left off, we're speaking to Amanda now. Amanda went out with a doctor friend of hers and his girlfriend.

42:28🔗 Dr. Bruce His cousin.

42:29🔗 Adam And the doctor's cousin, male cousin, tagged along, right? Had a few drinks, crashed at his place, out on the sofa. The cousin slept on the floor by the sofa, and when she woke up, in the middle of the night, he was inside. He was in her. And so you drank a lot, right?

42:50🔗 Caller It wasn't like he'd been doing it for, like, ten minutes or anything. I mean, it just happened.

42:57🔗 Adam It just happened. You picked that up.

42:59🔗 Caller And I woke up instantly.

43:01🔗 Adam And what happened?

43:02🔗 Caller He wouldn't get off of me.

43:04🔗 Adam So you yelled, you screamed, you scratched Adam?

43:06🔗 Caller I just kept saying, get off of me.

43:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, did you scream for help? There were other people in the house, right?

43:11🔗 Caller Yeah, there was his entire family, his son, his father, his mother, his sisters, his brothers, his nieces, nephews.

43:20🔗 Adam They were in the house?

43:23🔗 Dr. Bruce Did they come running downstairs when they heard you shrieking?

43:25🔗 Caller No, nobody did. Somebody came downstairs because they used the bathroom downstairs. That's when he got off of me and I said, yeah, you got to, you know, I can't say the word, me. And he just pulled his pants up and he left. And he went upstairs and I was like, I was just in shock.

43:47🔗 Adam Right.

43:49🔗 Dr. Bruce Wait, you see, you see, wait, wait a minute, listen.

43:50🔗 Adam Well, hold on a second before we get to all that. That was Saturday night.

43:56🔗 Caller Yeah, Sunday morning. Right.

43:57🔗 Adam Did you go, did you see a doctor?

44:00🔗 No, I didn't.

44:01🔗 Adam No.

44:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Did he ejaculate in you, do you think?

44:04🔗 Caller Yeah, he did.

44:05🔗 Adam Oh, he did.

44:07🔗 Caller He said he did.

44:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Is there a reason you didn't get up? I thought he just pulled his pants up and left.

44:11🔗 Caller Well, he did. But, you know, he, I'm sure it's from, like, pre-ejaculation. I mean, it wasn't like he had an orgasm or anything.

44:22🔗 Adam That's what we were getting at when we asked if he ejaculated in you.

44:25🔗 Caller I mean, as far as, like, the big orgasm, no. I mean, not to my knowledge.

44:30🔗 Adam Well, sorry for phrasing it in such a confusing fashion. And did you tell his brother, his cousin about it, the doctor?

44:41🔗 Caller I got up and I left and I haven't spoke to them since.

44:45🔗 Adam All right. You want to tell the cops?

44:49🔗 Caller I don't know.

44:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Why not?

44:55🔗 Caller It's just a personal and traumatic thing that if I tell the cops, it's going to go into a long, drawn-out series of he said, she said, court room, that I don't have money for an attorney.

45:09🔗 Dr. Bruce Is that something you've experienced in the past?

45:11🔗 Caller No. Actually, no. I've known attorneys in the past and I know how much they charge.

45:18🔗 Adam Well, you don't need to hire an attorney.

45:21🔗 Dr. Bruce You just file a report.

45:24🔗 He doesn't live here.

45:26🔗 Caller He lives in another state. I don't.

45:29🔗 Adam Well, okay. Let's try to get a few. Let me ask a few questions and then we'll give you some answers. Did he ever been raped before?

45:37🔗 Caller Me?

45:37🔗 Adam Yes.

45:38🔗 Dr. Bruce No, Adam, have you?

45:39🔗 Adam No.

45:40🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay. No, Adam, we would expect, Adam, we would expect something to happen to you before.

45:48🔗 Caller Yes. When I was fifteen, I was raped and I actually got pregnant and had an abortion.

45:53🔗 Dr. Bruce And we would even expect something to happen before that?

45:57🔗 Caller As far as some kind of, what?

46:01🔗 Dr. Bruce Some kind of victimization, something that led you to feel that, you know, to react and to be frozen in the face of that kind of an assault. To be frozen, not just scared, but to be frozen.

46:15🔗 Caller I guess I've seen my mom do some things. It's not sexual. I don't know if it's in any relation, but I have seen my mom put it under her head and, you know, okay.

46:27🔗 Dr. Bruce There we go, there we go.

46:28🔗 Caller Stuff like that.

46:29🔗 Dr. Bruce All right. So, yeah, stuff like that.

46:31🔗 I'm a healthy person, though.

46:32🔗 Caller I'm 22.

46:33🔗 Dr. Bruce Hang on, hold it, hold it, Amanda. Hold it. We got another break coming here.

46:36🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Amanda, hang on a second. All right?

46:40🔗 Dr. Bruce All right.

46:42🔗 Adam Amanda?

46:43🔗 Caller Yes.

46:43🔗 Dr. Bruce We have no choice. So, hang on. We'll be right back with you, okay?

46:46🔗 Caller Okay.

46:46🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a quick break and then we'll tell Amanda what to do after this. Hey, Loveline, everybody. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Super Jew, Rabbi Schmooley will be in here tomorrow night. Celebrity Jew, Rabbi to the Stars. Rabbi Schmooley is a guy who's been on the show a few times. You may have seen him kicking around with Michael Jackson, butting up to him, right, Drew? Oh, yeah. He has somehow propelled himself into some sort of superheap celebrity. I don't know how that works. Only in America. We'll have to figure out whose ass he's kissing. But some Schwarz ass, I would guess. But he's written a few books, right? Has a lot of good notions we agree with on relationships and things like that.

48:22🔗 Dr. Bruce He's seen a lot of people over time, but like we have, and he comes to the exact same conclusions we do, even though he's coming from an entirely different discipline.

48:29🔗 Adam Right, right. He's coming from Israel. We'll talk to him tomorrow night. He's a good guy. And then Brooke Burke, who I think is the hottest woman on television, she hosts that Wild on E show. She's not the old host, Jules Asner. She's the new host, Brooke Burke, who's spectacular will be in here. She's on, I think, this month's Playboy. She's on the cover.

48:53🔗 Dr. Bruce I'm going to be doing an Oprah this week sometime. And one of the things we're going to be discussing there is they're apparently developing this new theory that people in their 20s go through a quarter life crisis, okay?

49:04🔗 Adam Who's they?

49:05🔗 Dr. Bruce You know.

49:05🔗 Adam Nobody.

49:06🔗 Dr. Bruce Daytime people.

49:07🔗 Adam And listen, if you're going to be on Oprah, that means the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the Harlem Globe Trotters. Will follow.

49:14🔗 Dr. Bruce They'll follow, yes.

49:15🔗 Adam And the UCLA Alumni Association. I mean, it's going to be at least seven or 800 people on there beside you, right?

49:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Apparently not. But who knows?

49:26🔗 Adam No. You're going to be. Drew's going to be on Oprah, everybody, on Thursday. And I guarantee it's going to look like the cover from Sergeant Peppers. There's going to be at least 70 other people on that show. At least. Not counting Oprah.

49:39🔗 Dr. Bruce Be that as it may. I'd be interested to get some feedback from some of our college that they believe that there's something happening in their 20s that makes them feel like life is in a crisis, like leaving college somehow. They don't know how to get going in the workplace or that they feel entitled to something more than they're getting out of work. And there's a lot of stuff going on. People feel disorganized and empty and lonely and detached. We hear that a lot.

49:59🔗 Adam Yeah. But everyone's looking for a group to join.

50:02🔗 Dr. Bruce It's not so much a group. It's that people feel that somehow all their peers are getting rich in the internet and businesses and somehow they're in menial jobs and things like that. They're impatient and they're entitled.

50:13🔗 Adam Well, for a guy, and I can't speak for women, but for guys, 20s, that's your transition period.

50:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

50:20🔗 Adam That is the 10 years you have to go from basically student and son to father and businessman.

50:28🔗 Dr. Bruce And a lot of these kids, these days, they're feeling extra empty. And my position is it's because of the same thing we're hearing about in the relationship. You should be, but they come from a very disturbed family system with a lot of these kids. And they have no sort of anchor, no connection with anything. And they're adrift. This is their final sort of transition in the individuation in the real world. And they can't quite make it. They get depressed. They get anxious.

50:49🔗 Adam So you want them to call this show?

50:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. I'd be interested to hear some feedback.

50:52🔗 Adam We're not going to get anything off of that. Don't bother. Oh, Amanda left. Amanda hung up.

50:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Surprise.

50:58🔗 Adam Yeah. She was victimized and then victimized again. Amanda is real angry and I don't blame her because people have done her wrong in her life.

51:10🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, and her mom holding her under her head. That's really where this all started.

51:14🔗 Adam All right. So if you're not going to go to the cops and you're not going to prosecute this guy, well, I said it earlier.

51:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Therapy, therapy, therapy.

51:22🔗 Adam I usually say therapy, therapy, therapy, but in a man's case, therapy, therapy, therapy.

51:27🔗 Dr. Bruce Therap, therapy, therapy.

51:28🔗 Adam No, it's just going to one therapy. Therapy, therapy, therapy, therapy, but a long one, which is like three therapies.

51:37🔗 Dr. Bruce Look, she's clearly a victim, doesn't report this guy. Most people have not been victimized the second they're touched, they'll be screaming and yelling, they wake the whole household up.

51:46🔗 Adam If you hadn't been victimized in the past, you don't wake up with a guy in you. You wake up with a guy trying to get in you. Mike? Yeah. You're 22?

51:56🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 22.

51:57🔗 Adam What's up?

51:57🔗 Caller Oh, not much. Just a quick question for you, actually.

52:00🔗 Adam Yeah, okay, buddy. Good times.

52:02🔗 Caller Yeah, good times. Hey, my girl says my, I don't know if I can say this on the radio, Pekka.

52:08🔗 Adam Pekka? Yeah.

52:09🔗 Caller She said my Pekka's a little small. I'm a 5'8, though, you know.

52:12🔗 Adam Where are you from? New Zealand?

52:14🔗 Caller New Zealand. No, man.

52:16🔗 Adam Australia.

52:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:17🔗 Adam You know what I love about the New Zealand and the Australians? They don't really like each other, but you know what? You're all just the same to us. It's the same thing.

52:27🔗 Caller You're all just the same to us, mate.

52:29🔗 Adam We are all the same. But we are the same.

52:31🔗 Dr. Bruce We wouldn't go, oh, New Mexicans.

52:34🔗 Adam Oh, meh, New Mexicans. Oh, meh. All right. So, you're an Aussie, not a Kiwi.

52:45🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm also not a Kiwi. My question is regarding my Pekka. Right. My girl thinks it's too small, but she, I mean, she don't right out say it's too small, obviously, because she's not going to be rude like that. But I know she think it.

52:58🔗 Adam How do you know she thinks it?

52:59🔗 Caller Who's that laughing?

53:00🔗 Adam That's your girlfriend. How do you know? How do you know she thinks it?

53:03🔗 Caller Well, I know she always talks about, you know, oh, size doesn't really matter, you know, but I know that when, you know, after we, I sexually, we're sexually active, been together for two years. And after what she said, I like, she just kind of hints I don't satisfy her.

53:17🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, that has nothing to do with your penis size.

53:19🔗 Caller No, but then she'll say something like, well, you know, it has nothing to do with your penis size, but I don't even mention the penis size.

53:26🔗 Adam I see. Hmm.

53:29🔗 Caller So she's bringing it up, you know.

53:30🔗 Adam Yeah. How big is your penis?

53:33🔗 Caller Is it? It's like a five inch, but I'm only five eight.

53:39🔗 Adam Five inches?

53:40🔗 Caller Yeah, it's five inches, but I'm only like five eight. So, you know, I'm a short guy.

53:43🔗 Adam I see. Well, I know that does help because you're really like eight feet tall and you have a five inch penis. That would be a bad time.

53:49🔗 Dr. Bruce Proportion is everything.

53:50🔗 Adam All right. Well, Mike, there's nothing you can do about your penis size. But we'll speak in a down under. How about how about you go down on her?

53:58🔗 Caller Yeah, I'll go down on her fine, mate.

54:00🔗 Adam Well, why don't you stay down there for a while? I mean, that'll satisfy her. Give her that orgasm orgasm. Then you finish her off with that derringer of a penis you got between your legs.

54:10🔗 Dr. Bruce Saturday Night Special.

54:11🔗 Adam Well, Saturday Night Special is a little bigger than a derringer.

54:14🔗 Dr. Bruce Really, is it?

54:15🔗 Adam Yeah, the derringer is the single-shot pistol you keep in your sock.

54:20🔗 Dr. Bruce I thought it was bigger somehow.

54:21🔗 Adam Is there nothing you know?

54:23🔗 Dr. Bruce No, you're teaching me.

54:25🔗 Adam Is there a reference you understand? Melissa?

54:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Hello.

54:28🔗 Adam You're 21.

54:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

54:30🔗 Adam What's up?

54:32🔗 Dr. Bruce I was seeing this guy for about a year and a half, and right before we started dating, a couple weeks before I met him, his mom had passed away. He's a little bit older than me. He's almost 25. What happened basically was we went out for a year and a half, and things were just bad. He's very possessive. We broke up about almost three and a half months ago, and I started seeing this other guy. The old boyfriend won't leave me alone. He still continuously emails me, calls me. It's bad.

55:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Can you change your email address?

55:12🔗 Dr. Bruce He always finds it out. I have done that since now. He still emails me. I know all his friends, and he knows all my friends type of thing.

55:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Is there a way you can cut off contact with him entirely?

55:24🔗 Dr. Bruce I just don't email back. I don't talk to him. He can talk. He emails me. He calls me. I don't answer the phone.

55:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Do your parents answer the phone and tell him not to call again, or do you live by yourself?

55:33🔗 Dr. Bruce I live by myself.

55:35🔗 Adam Are you scared of him?

55:37🔗 Dr. Bruce No, no. I'm not worried that he's going to do anything to me. But he gets my password for my email account after I had changed it into a new one. I don't know how he found it out or anything like that.

55:49🔗 Dr. Bruce Have you told him clearly you were done?

55:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Yes. And I told him, you know, we're not getting back together ever. And he's like, he always tells me about how he hangs on to a prayer and he wants to, he still wants to go back out and say he loves me.

56:03🔗 Adam Oh, this is so brutal.

56:04🔗 Dr. Bruce He was probably a jerk when you were dating, I bet.

56:06🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, he was. And then.

56:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Why is it always that guy?

56:09🔗 Adam I don't know. I used to do that. The bigger a hole you are in the relationship, the more pleading you do when you break up.

56:16🔗 Dr. Bruce And now he says that he knows all, he knows this and he'll fix it. And I'm not, I mean, there's no way that I'm going back to it.

56:23🔗 Adam Oh, good. You're healthy. And you got some new shlong in your life, right?

56:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, okay. So what happened was he went on my email address and found out this other guy's email. And emailed him. And you know, the first time that he emailed him, it was like, haha, he's stupid, whatever, you know? And then the second time, and then he emailed him again to tell him, you know, like, I have all these problems in my life. You know, my mom died before I met her. And that's why I'm clinging on to her, blah, blah, blah. And I think that kind of freaked the guy out because he didn't talk to me for a couple of days after that. And like, then we, you know, we talked, everything was fine. We still hang out, you know, we're, we're, cause I mean, I'm friends with him and I'm friends with a lot of his friends too. That's how I know, like, through mutual friends.

57:02🔗 Adam You're all on your friends with the crazy guy or the new guy?

57:05🔗 Dr. Bruce Crazy guy's friend.

57:06🔗 Dr. Bruce The new guy, the new guy. And I hang out with the new guy and I hang out with his friends all the time. But I used to, I used to, we, like, this, all this weird stuff started happening about a month ago, like, where it's kind of been, like, just cooled off with me and the new guy a little bit. And, you know, I know that he liked me before all of this happened, but, I mean, other guys kind of scared him away. I really don't know what to do.

57:27🔗 Adam Well, listen, the new guy may not like you that much.

57:30🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, I mean, I know he did.

57:32🔗 Adam Oh, he did. But he used to like this guy, too.

57:34🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

57:36🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, okay.

57:36🔗 Adam Okay. Okay, listen. Hold on. Um, if you think that this guy poisoned the new guy somehow, you can talk to the new guy and say, Look, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what you've heard. I don't know what this guy's done to you. But I can tell you, I'd like to be in this relationship. Give him a chance. Although I don't guess you're going to get the response you want because we all know when once a guy's in, he's in. Doesn't matter if he gets a few screwball. That'll get him deeper in if he's in here.

58:04🔗 Dr. Bruce He invites me to sleep over. He'll be like, if we go out or whatever, he'll be like, do you want to come back over to my house? And, you know, I'll just stay there. We're not having sex or anything. But we have, you know, like fooled around. And we were going to have sex, but then there was no condom. So we didn't, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then about a week after that happened, like we were still hanging out. You know, he calls me. He asked me if I want to go hang out, you know, we'll go do a movie or something.

58:30🔗 Adam Right, right. I'm getting bored.

58:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. And he'll, I mean, it's like he dates me. And then he calls me.

58:35🔗 Dr. Bruce All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

58:38🔗 Adam Melissa.

58:39🔗 Dr. Bruce I mean, I just don't know what the, like.

58:40🔗 Adam Okay.

58:40🔗 Dr. Bruce The past two weeks.

58:41🔗 Adam Yeah. Okay. I don't know.

58:43🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, boy.

58:44🔗 Adam Melissa.

58:45🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, boy. I'm bored. I'm overwhelmed too.

58:48🔗 Adam Okay. The old guy you cut off contact with completely like you've already done. You don't answer any emails. He loses steam. I don't know when.

58:59🔗 Dr. Bruce Eventually. But if he seems the slightest bit of threatening, you go to the police immediately.

59:02🔗 Adam Get a restraining order.

59:03🔗 Dr. Bruce Immediately.

59:04🔗 Adam Right.

59:04🔗 Dr. Bruce If this new guy, sounds like he's just dating. He's not into a boyfriend girlfriend. You were kind of more into this relationship than he is sounds like.

59:11🔗 Adam Sounds like.

59:12🔗 Dr. Bruce And that's fine. I mean, he's being a gentleman. Right.

59:14🔗 Adam He's not boffing her.

59:15🔗 Dr. Bruce No condom. No sex. No, no, no.

59:18🔗 Adam It may have been her.

59:19🔗 Dr. Bruce But what?

59:20🔗 Adam Well, you know, our callers. You think he got a BJ? Melissa.

59:27🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

59:27🔗 Adam When the guy didn't have the condom, did you give him a BJ?

59:30🔗 Dr. Bruce No.

59:30🔗 Adam No. We didn't mean he. I don't respect. What? He didn't want that?

59:35🔗 Dr. Bruce Huh?

59:35🔗 Adam He didn't want that?

59:36🔗 Dr. Bruce No. We like we just kind of stop and like we were just kind of talking.

59:40🔗 Adam No blowjob?

59:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Uh-uh.

59:42🔗 Adam He's bisexual. I don't respect that. I don't respect that at all.

59:45🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, I'm sure. Do you even acknowledge it exists?

59:47🔗 Adam No, I don't. What? What did you say? Did you say something? I don't acknowledge that. Lauren?

59:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:54🔗 Adam You're 23?

59:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:56🔗 Adam Yeah. What's up, Perky?

1:00:00🔗 Caller I was just, I wanted to comment on what Dr. Drew was saying about people in their early 20s going through a crisis.

1:00:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Yeah. What's up?

1:00:08🔗 Caller Well, I kind of had that experience after college. And I think that it's a pretty significant issue for a lot of people in their 20s.

1:00:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Do you think it's any different than what the rest of us went through, though, last generation around?

1:00:19🔗 Caller I don't know. Maybe. But I wasn't part of that generation.

1:00:21🔗 Dr. Bruce No, but I've always understood, and it was for me the fact, that 18 to about 25 is the toughest transition of all.

1:00:29🔗 Caller Yeah. And I'd have to agree. I mean, I think that a lot of people, at least a lot of people who I've spoken with in their 20s and going into their 30s, that they're much happier in their 30s because they feel a lot more grounded. But in your 20s after college, when you kind of have these expectations about what life will be like, and then they don't necessarily live up to those expectations.

1:00:48🔗 Dr. Bruce But that's the part, wait a minute, hang on, that's the part that seems to be different for this generation that there's this entitlement to all kinds of special things. When you were in your 20s, Adam, your expectation was what?

1:01:00🔗 Adam Squat. I slept on a goddamn futon with the wheeze on the goddamn futon with me. I slept on a futon with a dude.

1:01:10🔗 Dr. Bruce You're gay.

1:01:11🔗 Adam And in a one bedroom goddamn apartment I had another guy on a goddamn foldout sofa and I wasn't even getting laid.

1:01:19🔗 Dr. Bruce You figured you were entitled to a twin. That figure, right?

1:01:23🔗 Adam Maybe. Look, at 23, if you would have put a contract in front of me, and I am not exaggerating at all, at 23, let me think where I was at. Okay. If you put a contract in front of me and said, sign this contract, I will guarantee you $15 an hour. That is $600 a week. That's before taxes, obviously. But you will make this for the next 15 years and you get one week off a year, and you'll get a little medical and a little dental. I would have signed it and fall into my knees and cried, and dry hump the pen that I used to sign it with. Oh, yes. I would have done it for 20 years. I would have signed a 20-year contract, 15 bucks an hour. Now, it's humorous to me because I'm literally a millionaire. But back then, oh, yes. Yeah, I would have signed a contract just to get my own food time.

1:02:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah. But the expectations are different now. Isn't that a big part of this?

1:02:24🔗 Caller Well, yeah. I graduated college a year ago, so I think that a lot of people with the whole dot-com boom and whatnot, we're really expecting to start and a lot of people were starting jobs and making or commanding really high salaries that wasn't necessarily most... Real? Yeah, it wasn't real. And so that whole bubble burst, especially in San Francisco where I live. So I think a lot of people's hopes and dreams kind of went down the tubes with it. And now they're trying to figure out exactly what their place is now that that whole like unrealistic lifestyle isn't part of their lives anymore.

1:02:56🔗 Dr. Bruce What are they doing? How are they going about it?

1:02:58🔗 Caller Well, a lot of people that I know just are living off their unemployment and working. I mean, yeah, I mean, there's really nothing. I mean, San Francisco is really dependent on the technology sector. So we have a lot of people up here who aren't working and working part-time jobs or just trying to find, a lot of people are going back to grad school or totally changing their career path entirely.

1:03:19🔗 Adam And I don't know. What are you doing?

1:03:21🔗 Caller I work at a nonprofit. So I'm kind of safe, but I'm not making any money.

1:03:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Were you on the nonprofit the whole time since you've been out of college?

1:03:28🔗 Caller Yeah, since I started.

1:03:30🔗 Adam Now let me tell you, money is not the key to happiness, nor does it make you happy. Not having money is excruciatingly painful. However...

1:03:42🔗 Dr. Bruce It doesn't make you happy to have it. It just makes you not in pain.

1:03:46🔗 Adam Now that I'm literally a millionaire, I am not unhappy. I however was unhappy when I had no money. So, it does not make you happy, but it does make you not unhappy. Thank you. And that should be a goal for everyone. Now, if you're happy when you're poor, you could be happier when you're rich. I'm not so sure. I don't think you get rich when you're happy when you're poor because of what motivates you. You have to have a certain level of discomfort in order to climb out of the mire or from the futon, as it were.

1:04:28🔗 Dr. Bruce Out of the futon.

1:04:29🔗 Adam When my forefathers crawled out from the futon, which is a Japanese word meaning bear trap. Because it is the worst invention ever, this futon. It is the world's most uncomfortable sofa that folds into the world's most uncomfortable bed. Let me just go back to that place for a second. Let me in the wheeze. North Hollywood.

1:04:55🔗 Dr. Bruce No air conditioning? No, no.

1:04:57🔗 Adam 110 degrees. Upstairs on Laurel Canyon. Western exposure. Sun beating down on the top floor. No tree in front of that apartment. Just glass and stucco. And nothing in front of it. Just Laurel Canyon and a big huge boulevard. No shade to be found in the middle of the summer.

1:05:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Was there common living space?

1:05:19🔗 Adam A thousand degrees in that, and we were in the front unit. Front apartment at the top.

1:05:23🔗 Dr. Bruce Was there like a common living space? Like a living room kind of thing?

1:05:26🔗 Adam We had a living room.

1:05:26🔗 Dr. Bruce What did you guys put in there?

1:05:27🔗 Adam Thousand degrees upstairs. I would get up in the middle of the night. I would walk into the shower. I would turn the shower on on nothing but cold water. I would douse myself. Then I would turn the fan on and lie back down and wake up with mildew on my head. The common living space was a living room. My buddy Chris lived on the foldout sofa, which had one broken leg on it. So when he used to hump, which he did quite a bit of, the downstairs neighbor heard this one peg leg smashing the ground because it was like it didn't fold out, right? So it sat four inches above. And when he got going, it was like boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, we had a couple of rabbits, four foot high bong and a slot car set. I'm not talking about, you know, away at boarding school. I'm talking about an adult. Adults. Adults.

1:06:18🔗 Dr. Bruce 24?

1:06:19🔗 Adam Yeah. No, 22.

1:06:21🔗 Dr. Bruce Oh, nice.

1:06:22🔗 Adam Had, well, I lived there from like 19 to 22. Had the rabbits, had the slot cars, had a Space Invaders game in our kitchen. Once a month, we would take all the change we collected from the Space Invaders, be like $72 and change, and we'd buy some weed, go to the mall, get stoned, play more video games, ironically, with the quarters and see a matinee. And eat. That was a big, big day for us. All right, should we take a break? Yeah. When we come back, we'll speak to Lisa. She's 16. Parents tell her to get better grades and lose weight. Who wants to know if that's bad after this? Okay, Loveline, everybody. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. We will speak to Lisa, who's 16 years old. Lisa?

1:07:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Hey. Okay. My parents, last summer, I kind of gained a lot of weight, but I'm bigger than I was, you know?

1:07:56🔗 Dr. Bruce You're overweight.

1:07:57🔗 Adam Drew, please.

1:07:58🔗 Dr. Bruce And my grades have always been kind of like okay, and lately, well, not really lately, I've listened to this summer, like, my parents have been making comments like, you could be so much smarter, you could be kind of prettier, just kind of stuff like that, and I'm wondering if mentally this could have an effect on me.

1:08:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, it's not gonna help.

1:08:20🔗 Adam You could hate them more.

1:08:22🔗 Dr. Bruce Do you want them?

1:08:23🔗 Adam Well, next time they go, you could be smarter, you could be thinner, you go, I could resent you more, but I don't.

1:08:29🔗 Dr. Bruce But like, and like, and like, they get sick, and like, they get, they get yell at me for like, for like sassing them back.

1:08:37🔗 Dr. Bruce For sassing them back?

1:08:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, they say, don't be a smartass, you know.

1:08:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, there's a funny thing that parents get into when you're about your age, and that is they really have total empathic breakdown.

1:08:49🔗 Adam Well, they've been dying to treat you sort of like an adult. And I don't mean adult in a good way, but I mean when you have a kid, you kind of have to treat them like a kid, you know, and they must be, I think a lot of parents have been waiting a long time just to look their kidney eye and go, hey listen, get your goddamn grades up and lose a few pounds and quit your whining.

1:09:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but at that age, there really is often a disconnect, and it's as opposed to saying, you know, are you okay? Can we help you? It becomes, hey, just get your crap together.

1:09:20🔗 Dr. Bruce One of my friends about it, and like one of my friends who goes to a therapist, one of my friends is like, that's not okay. She's like, that's what they shouldn't be saying.

1:09:28🔗 Adam Well, they shouldn't. They shouldn't, but what do they do for a living?

1:09:33🔗 Dr. Bruce My mom is a teacher and my dad is a police officer.

1:09:39🔗 Adam Bad times. That's the one-two combo.

1:09:44🔗 Dr. Bruce I've always gotten along with my parents, but like they weren't really around when I was a kid. They were both like, they worked a lot like my dad had to really work to get high.

1:09:52🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, and unfortunately, that's a big part of what's going on right now, is that disconnect and that lack of trust and lack of nourishment for what you need. They're doing more of the same kind of thing. When you needed them then just to be a present, they weren't around and now they need you to, you need them to be supportive or at least acknowledge what your real feelings are and they can't quite muster.

1:10:10🔗 Dr. Bruce It's mostly like my mom. I went home last Friday because I don't know a couple of days ago because I was feeling kind of sick, you know?

1:10:16🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:10:17🔗 Dr. Bruce I was not allowed to wear tank tops to school and I came home and I was like, oh, you know, I shouldn't have worn this today. My mom was like, why? I'm like, oh, you know, you can't wear them because they think it's like distracting or something like that. And she was very blunt. She's like, Lisa, I don't think you'd have that problem.

1:10:35🔗 Adam Meaning you're not sexy? Meaning like I'm not attractive to boys.

1:10:38🔗 Dr. Bruce And yeah, I'm like, and when I try to close on, she's very blunt. Like that looks awful to me. You can see your shoulders.

1:10:45🔗 Caller You can see your shoulders.

1:10:47🔗 Adam You got to watch out with that eating disorder.

1:10:49🔗 Dr. Bruce You're fat.

1:10:50🔗 Adam Drew, please. Now, Lisa, how much? Yeah, let's talk about a couple of things on you. How are your grades doing?

1:10:58🔗 Dr. Bruce OK, I've I've I've I've raised them. I've raised them.

1:11:01🔗 Dr. Bruce Could you do better?

1:11:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I could do better. I think anyone can do better.

1:11:05🔗 Dr. Bruce But why don't you start deciding what you want to do for your sake, for you? Do you want to really hold yourself down just to get back at your parents? Is it worth it?

1:11:14🔗 Dr. Bruce No, I mean, no, that's not what I'm going for. I'm just I get lazy.

1:11:17🔗 Adam OK. Well, do you want to go off to college?

1:11:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, definitely.

1:11:20🔗 Adam You want to be a veterinarian?

1:11:22🔗 Dr. Bruce No, I want to be a TV anchor.

1:11:25🔗 Adam OK. So. And how is the weight doing?

1:11:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, it's OK. I mean, I don't know what happened over the summer. I guess I just I kind of got like depressed or something.

1:11:35🔗 Dr. Bruce Right. A lot of this is depression. It sounds like that deserves treatment.

1:11:39🔗 Dr. Bruce And like another thing I'm kind of worried about. By my dad's parents, they both ran high in alcohol and depression.

1:11:49🔗 Dr. Bruce And I'm wondering, like, are you developing any momentum with substances?

1:11:52🔗 Dr. Bruce No, definitely not. She's a straight out.

1:11:55🔗 Adam And what about what about boys? Any boyfriends?

1:11:58🔗 Dr. Bruce I have another boyfriend in like two years. And like, there's this one guy that I'm like, I'm totally crazy for. I'm like, I'm totally like, crazy for.

1:12:08🔗 Adam Right. How's that going? He doesn't, he doesn't know you exist.

1:12:12🔗 Dr. Bruce He doesn't show any interest, like.

1:12:14🔗 Adam All right. Lisa, Lisa, I'm going to solve all your problems in just ten seconds here, all right?

1:12:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:12:20🔗 Adam Okay. It's an awkward time. It's a tough time. Your parents are a pain in the ass. They love you. They're not abusive. They're not going about it a great way. They're your parents and you think they should be better than they are and have more answers than they do. But they're just dumb adults, really. They love you. They mean well. You need to focus on getting your grades up, getting involved with all that school stuff, doing as much stuff as you can do outside of the house, taking care of yourself physically, not for them, but for you, and going off and going to journalism school somewhere. The world is your oyster. That's right. Because that's all the world is. That's all the world is. How do I? All right. That's it. Look, I say it every week. Your parents are a pain in the ass. Don't go home. I don't mean run away. I don't mean that go under a bridge and shoot up. I mean, play softball, play baseball, play football, get your grades up and then go off to college somewhere. Just make it your business to stay out of that house. Okay, Josh?

1:13:33🔗 Caller Yes.

1:13:33🔗 Adam You're 23. What's up?

1:13:35🔗 Caller Actually, I was calling about the quarter life crisis. Yeah. I personally haven't experienced it, but I know most of my friends have.

1:13:46🔗 Adam Quarter life crisis.

1:13:47🔗 Dr. Bruce They're calling it that instead of midlife crisis. Yeah.

1:13:50🔗 Adam Right.

1:13:50🔗 Dr. Bruce You know, if you had the opportunity to sort of put a label on it, think about what you were like at 24, 25. You'd be jumping on this bandwagon.

1:13:58🔗 Adam Right?

1:13:58🔗 Dr. Bruce I think how miserable you were.

1:13:59🔗 Adam Yeah, I was miserable, but so was everybody.

1:14:02🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, right. Well, these guys aren't too. All right. So what up, Josh?

1:14:05🔗 Caller One of my thoughts is in the last generation, there was so much political activism. There was something to get involved in. I just don't see it now.

1:14:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, there isn't the same kind of thing. There wasn't really when we were going through that phase, though. Adam, would you say?

1:14:24🔗 Adam No. I mean, you could make fun of Gorbachev or something. Yeah, there wasn't that much growing up in the 80s, really, either. Not much to hang your hat on politically. But Josh, see, here's what's going on. I think Drew and I figured this out. Every guy, and I say guy, females, too, but more so today females than in the past, but every male is going to go through an identity crisis between the time they graduate high school and or college and the time they get themselves sort of situated in the workplace. And that's where you're at at 23. You're no man's.

1:15:07🔗 Dr. Bruce You know, one thing we were dealing with, which is sort of the aftermath of the sexual revolution, trying to figure that all out. You know what I mean? That's why our relations were such a mess back then.

1:15:17🔗 Caller Actually, I kind of missed out on that because I went right into service directly after high school and now into college, going directly back in. But yeah, it's...

1:15:30🔗 Dr. Bruce You're looking for some political activism.

1:15:32🔗 Caller Political activism?

1:15:33🔗 Dr. Bruce That's what you'd like to see.

1:15:36🔗 Yeah, a little bit.

1:15:37🔗 Dr. Bruce Right. Thanks, Josh.

1:15:39🔗 Adam Well, listen, all I'm saying is if there's a 23, 24-year-old male out there whose head isn't spinning like a dreidel, he ain't normal. Once in a while, you hear about that guy who started interning at some record label at 19 and is 25 and he's vice president of sales or whatever. But that's the exception, not the rule. The rule is you should know what the hell you're doing. Drew, even though you were a mess and probably still are, I'm telling you...

1:16:15🔗 Dr. Bruce Not like I was.

1:16:16🔗 Adam No, no. You were certified. You were a certified mess. But I'll tell you the thing that you knew was your... I'll tell you the thing I'm most envious of in your life, is that you had a direction, is confused, is swimming, is your own head was. Your feet had a direction. The thing I think that is scariest, and was always scariest to me, at 21, at 25, at 27, at 29, especially as a male, is having no idea what you'd be doing for a living, no idea if you're going to be rich, you're going to be poor, you're ever going to buy a house. What about kids? What about a family? Who are you going to support? You can't support yourself? You got five roommates? What are you going to do? Have a wife, a kid, and three roommates? You don't have insurance. As a male especially, at least you always knew you were going to be a doctor, that was going to mean hard work, that was going to mean stress, that was going to mean long hours. But at least.

1:17:18🔗 Dr. Bruce You know, you didn't always know about oncology. You have huge doubts about that.

1:17:21🔗 Adam But you had a place you could go from A to B to C. You could move in a lineal pattern.

1:17:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Let me just say though, I had all that in place, but there was always a threat of I wouldn't make it. In which case the whole thing would be, what would I do? Where would I go? What would come out? And that was always awful.

1:17:38🔗 Adam Right. But let me see if I can deny your pain just a little more here.

1:17:44🔗 Dr. Bruce Thank you.

1:17:45🔗 Adam You had that threat hanging over your head. What if you don't graduate your sophomore year and make it to your junior year? Yeah. But that acted as a motivational force in many times. And you knew that if you bear down and you hunker down and you worked hard, you would then get to the next level. Now, what happened after that? You don't know, but you could keep moving along progressively. It's weird for guys, and I grew up with a million of them, who are 25 and they're going, Gee, I don't know, maybe I should be a fireman or maybe I shouldn't list. Can I list? What about the Coast Guard? When I was like 25, I was thinking maybe I should just join up the Coast Guard, get some benefits or something. That might be something. I should be a cop. I don't know. An ambulance driver, I thought. You're like a kid at 25, spinning one of those point and save. Yeah, see and save. I'll be a farmer or the pirate astronaut. That's what I wanted to be. Mike? Hey. Hey, you're 30. What's up?

1:18:46🔗 Caller What's up, man? I'm like cracking up. Listen to you guys. Hey, listen, I'm actually reverse the whole role. I actually came out of college and had this conservative software engineering, like a math major in software engineering job. All went up for me and I was tough starting up. After like five years, I was making already like 60, 70, $80,000. And then when I turned 26, 27, I decided to say F it all.

1:19:14🔗 Dr. Bruce Why? Why?

1:19:15🔗 Caller And I'm now an actor. Why do you think you're going to be an actor in Hollywood?

1:19:19🔗 Dr. Bruce Why do you think that happened? Because I hear that's what happened.

1:19:21🔗 Caller It had a lot to do with my parents.

1:19:22🔗 Dr. Bruce Totally. Your parents were pushing you to do certain stuff.

1:19:24🔗 Caller And then- Lots of stuff, lots of stuff, man. Everything in the book you can think of, actually. There was a lot of abuse. There was a lot of the mother, mom being just very, how do I say this, both of them, actually, just being very tunnel vision in terms of this is where you need to be going.

1:19:42🔗 Dr. Bruce Right. And were you sort of the savior in the family that you had to keep your ass together in order to keep everyone else kind of-

1:19:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I was actually the hub for my family. My family was all broken apart.

1:19:50🔗 Dr. Bruce Right.

1:19:50🔗 Caller And actually, there came a point in time, the first break away for me was when I was like 23, 24, and I just broke away and decided to drive across the country to California.

1:20:01🔗 Adam But, Mike, having some success in another field, does that give you confidence for your new endeavors?

1:20:08🔗 Caller No, it didn't. It didn't.

1:20:10🔗 Adam Thank you for making my point.

1:20:12🔗 Dr. Bruce See, Mike, the deal is you're looking for some way to amplify the point that his pain was worse than anyone's.

1:20:18🔗 Adam Well, that's true.

1:20:18🔗 Dr. Bruce No matter what your history is, it can't compare with the Corolla history.

1:20:22🔗 Adam No, I'm not.

1:20:24🔗 Dr. Bruce Hold on.

1:20:24🔗 Adam How dare both of you and your beeper, Drew. What I'm saying is I'm not trying to turn this one on myself. I'm just saying I would think that the fact that you had success in the business world already and now that you're trying a new endeavor, which is acting and maybe even more challenging, that you would have a little momentum from your past success.

1:20:49🔗 Caller Well, two totally different worlds.

1:20:51🔗 Dr. Bruce Let me support that point. They're not the same field. Having established a sense of yourself in the world and have that is something to go forward with. You know what I'm saying? That you've been that, you've done that, you've accomplished that, you know who you are in the workplace and that you can't exist. It gives you a little more levity.

1:21:08🔗 Caller In actuality, it was like basically about five years, obviously, that I had left, and it was about five years of me growing into who I was and who I am.

1:21:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Did you have some therapy?

1:21:19🔗 Caller I had nothing to do with work whatsoever. It was actually an eventual degradation of hating my job.

1:21:25🔗 Dr. Bruce Did you have a therapist in there?

1:21:28🔗 Caller No, I didn't.

1:21:28🔗 Adam Okay.

1:21:29🔗 Dr. Bruce Recovery or anything?

1:21:30🔗 Caller What's that?

1:21:31🔗 Dr. Bruce Recovery program or something?

1:21:33🔗 Caller I spent a good few years drinking a lot, yep, a lot of alcohol abuse.

1:21:38🔗 Adam Do you have money saved up in order to?

1:21:40🔗 Caller No, I'm just like I said, it's the total reverse right now. I have no insurance. I live in a single in Hollywood, and I'm flat broke, and I have no life, and I don't go out, and theater is my life.

1:21:55🔗 Adam Where are you doing for money?

1:21:56🔗 Caller What am I doing for money? I do a lot of stuff, and this is because it comes back to my childhood. I do a lot of stuff to help other kids.

1:22:02🔗 Adam Oh wow, for money?

1:22:05🔗 Caller Yeah, like party entertainment, dressing up as kids, as kids like superheroes and things like that.

1:22:11🔗 Adam Ah, party pals. Yeah, that's when I knew I'd hit rock bottom, by the way.

1:22:18🔗 Dr. Bruce You did then? You thought about it.

1:22:22🔗 Adam Listen, we're going to take a break. When I come back, I will tell you my party pal experience. This is where as a struggling actor, you dress up as one of the Ninja Turtles and hit a party. I'll tell you about that when we come back.

1:22:40🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm back in a minute.

1:23:13🔗 Adam You got it, buddy. Hey, it's Dr. Drew over there, buddy. I'm Adam Corolla, Loveline, 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. All right, real fast, my party pals story. Oh, yeah. Because we're getting into some stories tonight. Well, we don't have a guess. What the hell? When I was like 27, 28, I had another actor friend, comedian friend, writer friend, buddy who was doing nothing with his life. And one day I showed up at his house. And he he told me that he was going on audition for something called Party Pals.

1:23:48🔗 Dr. Bruce Come on along.

1:23:49🔗 Adam And this was a deal where, you know, you dress up as a prince or a ninja turtle back then. Very hot, late 80s, early 90s. And you just go to kids parties. And but the deal was is you'd get 50 bucks. It could actually be paid to perform, which when you've been struggling around, kicking around for five, seven years and never getting a penny to perform, actually paying to be in an improv troupe or do some open mic night or something.

1:24:16🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, it's still very ironic now that you're.

1:24:19🔗 Adam Literally a millionaire. Thank you. But the notion of getting paid to perform is something very tantalizing to a performer who's never been paid to perform, even if it's at a kid's party to park on a Sunday dressed in a turtle outfit.

1:24:32🔗 Dr. Bruce You're a professional at that point.

1:24:34🔗 Adam I think it was funny about my friend Paul is once he got the gig you actually had one of the rules was is you couldn't show up to the party wearing the turtle outfit with the turtle head under your arm. You had to put the turtle head on in the car in the car about a hundred yards away from the house. I mean you had to pull up in the turtle head otherwise you freak the kids out. If they if they fought Picasso or what the hell the name of those turtles were they named after Michelangelo. Michelangelo showed up in Ninja Turtle without the turtle head. They freak out. Smoking with blonde hair. So he said look you want to go to this audition? And I said yeah that would be fine. So we went to this audition for Party Pals and it was just a bunch of other loser actors like ourselves standing in some room in Recita on a you know Tuesday at noon doing nothing with our lives and this woman yelling at all of us. And she said look let's talk about improv skills. I said all right we will do an improv game and it will be called there is this improv game and it is called it is like Production Factory or something. One guy starts doing a movement a repetitive movement with his arms. Someone else sort of connects to them and does a sort of coinciding movement before you know it. You have built a better mousetrap.

1:25:56🔗 Dr. Bruce Big in the 80s.

1:25:59🔗 Adam A way to test your improv skills. So naturally she picked me to go first which always sucks because you are standing up in a room of people or sitting down and doing some repetitive movement.

1:26:11🔗 Dr. Bruce Retarded competitive.

1:26:11🔗 Adam Retarded repetitive movement for way too long until someone else joins in and connects to you and you are doing it the longest too because you don't finish the last guy.

1:26:19🔗 Dr. Bruce You always pick some elaborate movement that you can't maintain because your muscles wear out.

1:26:23🔗 Adam So I remember thinking, oh Christ, what the hell am I doing here? And she said, look, you, you didn't know my name, stand up and start some movement. So I stood up and I thought, oh Jesus, this sucks, what am I doing? And I started doing this thing with my hand, you know, kind of like some steam engine or assembly line or something. I did it for about two beats and she just kept looking at me and no one joined in and I'm just standing there like an idiot doing this movement. And I finally looked at her and I said, you want me to make a noise with this? Like, shh, ah, shh, ah, you know, and she goes, it'd be nice.

1:26:59🔗 Dr. Bruce How come you haven't gotten to ask her to kiss your ass?

1:27:02🔗 Adam I don't remember her name but she can kiss my ass if she's out there. So I said, I looked at my buddy Paul, I said, Paul, listen, I got a skill, I'm a carpenter. I got to salvage some dignity, I'm going home. I said, listen, I need the money, I'm staying here. I'm getting the turtle outfit. So that was my party pal's story. This close to being a party pal. Michael.

1:27:22🔗 Hi, this is Michael.

1:27:24🔗 Adam Michael, you're 21? Yep. Michael, the female?

1:27:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:29🔗 Dr. Bruce What's up?

1:27:29🔗 Adam Interesting.

1:27:30🔗 Caller That's my middle name. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and maybe before where I just don't have a sex drive at all. It just is not there and it's causing all kinds of problems.

1:27:43🔗 Dr. Bruce Is this a new problem in your life? Or has it always been like this?

1:27:47🔗 Caller It always happens. Every boyfriend I have is just gone.

1:27:51🔗 Dr. Bruce When you're not with a boyfriend, do you have a sex drive?

1:27:54🔗 Caller No, not really.

1:27:56🔗 Dr. Bruce Are you on any medication?

1:27:57🔗 Caller No.

1:27:58🔗 Dr. Bruce Do you have no birth control pills or anything like that? No. Has there been any time in your life during which you had libido?

1:28:05🔗 Caller Yeah, I can. Sometimes it will happen randomly, but it always just goes away after a couple of weeks of being with somebody. I have had problems in the past. I've been victimized and I know the whole deal.

1:28:22🔗 Dr. Bruce Have you been treated for that?

1:28:25🔗 Caller What do you mean, treated?

1:28:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Have you had a therapist? Have you had trauma recovery programs?

1:28:29🔗 Caller No. I mean, I took a lot of antidepressants in high school.

1:28:32🔗 Adam What happened to you?

1:28:36🔗 Caller I was raped as a child many times, from 3 to 7.

1:28:40🔗 Adam Who did this to you?

1:28:42🔗 Caller My original French first stepdad.

1:28:46🔗 Adam Well, first off, let me say perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. And where's this guy now?

1:28:52🔗 Caller He left me after I was about 7, kind of heartbroken.

1:28:56🔗 Dr. Bruce You were heartbroken?

1:28:57🔗 Caller Oh yeah.

1:28:58🔗 Adam Well, imagine how this guy twisted up her mind. And what about your mom? Did she ever find out about this?

1:29:05🔗 Caller Oh, she's totally evil. Yeah, she knows.

1:29:07🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, she's the source of all the problems.

1:29:10🔗 Adam She's the source of all the evil. Well, here's the good news. She was sexually abused, your mom herself.

1:29:16🔗 Caller She won't give it up. I know she was. She won't.

1:29:18🔗 Adam She had to have been. Okay, and where's original daddy?

1:29:23🔗 Caller My dad, I never really, he kind of skipped out before I was born.

1:29:28🔗 Adam All right, so you got plenty on your plate.

1:29:32🔗 Caller Yeah, I had plenty of stuff. I had lots of physical abuse after that. I had many stuff to add to that.

1:29:37🔗 Dr. Bruce And Michael, what tends to happen is that when people have been sexually abused, it sort of establishes them in a trajectory. And that trajectory tends to move towards hypersexuality, sexual compulsivity, or total shutdown. Yeah, you got the shutdown version. Or vacillating between the two. And oftentimes, when there's a shutdown like this, it requires very, very highly arousing circumstances to get you going. So you'll do S&M, you'll do stripping and things like that. And that's what becomes arousing.

1:30:02🔗 Adam We said it before, and we'll say it again tonight. Therapy, therapy, therapy, and therapy. There you go. That's it. There's no easy way around this. And next time you see that hag you call a mom who brought home the multiple step dads who abused you, kick her right in the coos and tell her that's from Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Thank you. John? Yeah. You're 32. What's up?

1:30:25🔗 Caller Well, I heard you guys about a couple months ago on the subject I'm about to ask you about. And I didn't get to hear the whole story because there's a lot of noise in the background. And plus, it was kind of an embarrassing situation, so I didn't really turn up the radio to listen to it and want everybody to figure out what I was trying to do. But I figure I'd go ahead and ask you guys tonight and maybe you could help me out here. And my question is that I got these skin growths growing around on the lines of my shoulder up to my neck. And it's like three or four different ones up there. And they look like little nipples.

1:30:57🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, they're just like, are they sort of tags, skin tags?

1:31:00🔗 Caller What is that?

1:31:01🔗 Dr. Bruce Like moles that are sort of raised up.

1:31:02🔗 Caller Yeah, they kind of look like, I thought that's what they were going to be. Were like some kind of weird moles, but obviously they're not any kind of moles that I've seen before.

1:31:08🔗 Dr. Bruce Well, they're moles, they're pedunculated and they're skin tags and they come off really easily. Your doctor is going to snip them off, no problem.

1:31:14🔗 Adam Is the skin tag sort of like a mole that's been flattened out and sort of fell over?

1:31:18🔗 Dr. Bruce That's one of the ways that can happen, yeah. Doesn't happen when skin folds and stuff.

1:31:22🔗 Adam Needs to go to a dermatologist?

1:31:26🔗 Dr. Bruce Any doctor.

1:31:26🔗 Adam Alright, real fast. Who do you want to talk to?

1:31:29🔗 Dr. Bruce She's been on the longest.

1:31:30🔗 Adam Alright. Kara?

1:31:32🔗 Caller Yes.

1:31:32🔗 Adam 24, you never had a boyfriend. You want to know where to meet quality guys?

1:31:38🔗 Caller Yes.

1:31:38🔗 Dr. Bruce Why have you never had a boyfriend?

1:31:40🔗 Caller I've just never been in a committed relationship.

1:31:42🔗 Adam Thank you. That clears that up.

1:31:45🔗 Caller I'm kind of like chunky.

1:31:46🔗 Adam Kind of chunky? Yeah. Yeah, big gal. Alright, plenty of black guys will be attracted to you. How much do you weigh?

1:31:55🔗 Dr. Bruce About 195.

1:31:59🔗 Adam 195, that's 215. And what about, okay, well listen, I don't want to harp on your weight, but let me say something real quickly. 24 and younger men are kind of aesthetically oriented. And they like a trimmer woman. And just for your own peace of mind and health too, how about working on the weight a little bit?

1:32:18🔗 Dr. Bruce Trying that.

1:32:19🔗 Adam You're trying to do that?

1:32:20🔗 Dr. Bruce Get a dietician, start working out every day.

1:32:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:32:22🔗 Dr. Bruce Cardio, lots of cardio.

1:32:24🔗 Adam Do all that good stuff. And as far as guys go, what do you like? Do you like doing stuff? Do you have activities besides eating?

1:32:32🔗 Dr. Bruce Nice.

1:32:33🔗 Adam I had to slide the jam. Let me meet a quality guy over at the Shakey's or the Sizzler.

1:32:38🔗 Dr. Bruce But the point is, stuff you like doing, stuff you like doing, get involved with that and guys will come around.

1:32:42🔗 Adam Yeah. And use your friends. You gotta get some female friends.

1:32:45🔗 Dr. Bruce Yeah, do what Adam does. Use your friends.

1:32:46🔗 Adam Use your friends. Not my friends, but your friends. We'll be back. Yes, well, there you go. Another fabulous Loveline episode in the ground. Super Jew, Rabbi Shmuley will be in here tomorrow night. Nothing derogatory about that.

1:33:36🔗 Dr. Bruce I think that you called him something else earlier.

1:33:38🔗 Adam Super Heed? That's funny. He'll be in here tomorrow night. Tell us about Michael Jackson and all his other new celebrity friends since the last time we saw him. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo.

1:33:53🔗 Caller My questions are going to my PECA.

1:33:55🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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