Monday, April 16, 2001

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13🔗 Hey, it's Loveline.

1:15🔗 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. It's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Paxor 3508-54-4455, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Yeah, Drew.

1:26🔗 Drew Yo, baby.

1:26🔗 Adam Yo, baby.

1:27🔗 Drew What's happening?

1:29🔗 Adam Well, Alien Ant Farm is our guest tonight. I don't think we've ever met them. I think they're excited to be on the show. But the show started and they're not here. Now, they are here. They just went off to another room to do an interview or something in the massive Westwood 2 compound we work in here. And I bet they're under the impression someone's going to come get them.

1:51🔗 Drew No, no. The temerity. Can you imagine?

1:55🔗 Adam Certainly weren't going to be one of us.

1:57🔗 Drew The Sooties must have impressed them so much. The efficiency of which this place runs must have led them to believe that there was somebody specially dedicated to retrieving them.

2:05🔗 Adam Right.

2:05🔗 Drew Yeah, of course.

2:06🔗 Adam All right. Drew, you turn into a bigger a-hole than even me. So we will bring the band in at the first break. And Drew, everything flowing good for you? Yeah.

2:17🔗 Drew How about you?

2:18🔗 Adam No problems.

2:19🔗 Drew No. Why?

2:20🔗 Adam It's all good.

2:21🔗 Drew Yeah. Good time.

2:22🔗 Adam I'm just working. Yeah, I just realized. You know, listen, kids, as you get older, man, the days just whip by. You know those old movies where the wind kicks the calendar pages?

2:33🔗 Drew Yeah. That's what it feels like.

2:35🔗 Adam Pow. Pow.

2:36🔗 Drew Wait, Adam, wait till you have children.

2:39🔗 Adam Oh, no.

2:39🔗 Drew It is like climbing into a effing time machine.

2:43🔗 Adam No, you know, having kids is like, it's like giving birth to a little ruler or a little calendar. It's like now you have a way to measure the time.

2:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:51🔗 Adam Remember the first Christmas? Oh, it's Tommy's birthday. And then pow, it's gone. Yeah. You know what's going to happen? Here's why I'm scared to have kids. Because when you have kids, then you become the parents that were so old when you used to play with your little friends.

3:06🔗 Drew Listen, tonight with my kids, I had a conversation about the Brady Bunch. And these are all, we've met pretty much all that cast. And they, to their mind, these people must be 20 now. When I explained them, they were in their 40s, they were like, oh my God. And then how old is Mrs. Brady? How old is Mr. Brady?

3:25🔗 Adam Oh, Mr. Brady.

3:26🔗 Drew I said, well, he's gone.

3:28🔗 Yeah.

3:29🔗 Drew So how old was he? How old was he? He was probably like 50 or something.

3:32🔗 Adam I could have been.

3:33🔗 Drew So I said 55 and they went, oh, well, he was old.

3:36🔗 He was really old.

3:37🔗 Drew So, okay. So that was all right.

3:39🔗 He's bisexual.

3:41🔗 Adam Yeah. I know. I know. I remember when I was, you know, 13, 14 years old and hear about some guy buying it on a motorcycle. He was 22. And I thought, well, he had a good life. He had a good, long, rich life.

3:53🔗 Drew Nice, long run.

3:54🔗 Adam I hope his grandchildren and his great grandchildren were by his side when he slipped away. All right.

4:02🔗 Drew Perspective is everything, isn't it?

4:04🔗 Adam All right. Oh, listen, I tell you, I look at life as a drive to San Francisco. The first time you made it, it took a long time. If you've done it about 30 times, it don't take that long anymore. And if you've done it several thousand times, you don't even think about it. That's what a year's like now. Except for this show. Boy, does it stop when we get in this studio. This conversation we've had feels like about eight years.

4:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:29🔗 Adam It turns out it's been three minutes. Oh.

4:31🔗 Yeah.

4:33🔗 Yeah.

4:34🔗 Adam Yeah. Just about another 117 minutes to go. What do you say, Drew?

4:40🔗 Drew Beautiful.

4:41🔗 Adam Bill?

4:42🔗 Drew Good times.

4:43🔗 Yeah, this is Bill.

4:44🔗 Adam You're 16. What's up?

4:46🔗 Caller I was like masturbating earlier today and I hurt like, I don't know what happened, but like right after I like came, I guess, it hurt like right underneath my testicles and like the right side of my groin.

4:57🔗 Drew Right. It's oftentimes a spasm of the pubococcygous muscle.

5:03🔗 Caller Oh, it's not like a hernia or anything?

5:05🔗 Drew No. Certainly, hernias and things like that might be triggering all that, so it wouldn't be a bad idea to get yourself checked out. But this kind of thing can be rather common actually. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

5:16🔗 Caller Okay, because it just really hurts my right one.

5:18🔗 Drew It's sort of like being kicked in the nuts a little bit.

5:20🔗 Caller Yeah, like whenever something touches my right testicle, it hurts.

5:23🔗 Drew Oh, that's a little different.

5:26🔗 Caller Well, it's pretty sore underneath him, but my right one hurts a little bit more than my left one.

5:31🔗 Drew Well, you ought to get that checked out. Maybe there's a little bit of torsion or something. Sometimes the testicle twists and can impair its blood supply. It can really hurt itself.

5:39🔗 Adam How often do you masturbate?

5:40🔗 Drew Like once a day.

5:42🔗 Adam Yep, even though it's excruciating pain. That's what I love about guys. Alright, Bill. Hey, good times. What did you do? Did you see a doctor?

5:50🔗 Drew Yeah, it wouldn't be a bad idea, but how can people even think for a second that men and women are similar? At least a woman, if there was the slightest bit of discomfort, no, if you felt good, they still wouldn't be that interested.

6:01🔗 Adam Yeah, I love it when you talk to women as like, have you masturbated before? Once when I was 17, the sensation was exquisite.

6:10🔗 Drew But it doesn't do much for me.

6:11🔗 Adam I'm 28 now, I haven't done it since. And no mess. You know what I mean? I did it in the car, but it was all right, it was good. That was enough.

6:22🔗 Drew Think about trying to get a guy to stop.

6:25🔗 Adam No way.

6:26🔗 Drew No way.

6:26🔗 Adam That's all I got now.

6:27🔗 That's all about my older age.

6:29🔗 Adam That's it.

6:29🔗 Drew I mean, think about it. Your eyes are going to fall out. It's going to hurt and have intense pain. No way. I mean, there's nothing. Think about it. Is there anything you do?

6:38🔗 Adam If you told me that at the end of a hundred, I'd have no sight in my right eye, I'd get to about 75 and then I'd start, you know, really start slowing down.

6:51🔗 Drew But you wouldn't stop.

6:52🔗 Adam I'd think about it more.

6:54🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

6:54🔗 Drew Be every other day.

6:55🔗 Adam Taylor?

6:56🔗 Yeah.

6:57🔗 Adam You're 21.

6:58🔗 Caller Yes.

6:58🔗 Adam What's up?

7:00🔗 Caller Okay. I have two younger brothers. One is seven. One is eight. They're 11 months apart. And two years ago, we found out that my seven-year-old brother, he was five at the time, was being sexually abused by his father. And he had been acting like a girl since he was about two years old. And so everything-

7:20🔗 Drew Whatever that means.

7:21🔗 Caller Means like he would talk in a girl's voice. He would say he would want to be a girl. He would wear dresses. He would wear towels on his hair, on his head, and pretend that it was long hair. Like, I mean, you know, the kid wanted to be a girl and he walked around acting like a little girl.

7:37🔗 Adam And his biological father was molesting him? Yes.

7:41🔗 Drew Nice. This is your father?

7:43🔗 Caller No, this is not my father.

7:45🔗 Drew You said it was your brother.

7:46🔗 Adam Half brother.

7:47🔗 Caller Right. We have different fathers.

7:49🔗 Adam How's your father? I bet he's a child.

7:51🔗 Caller Not around.

7:53🔗 Adam Shocking. Shocking.

7:54🔗 Caller Right.

7:55🔗 Adam Kick your mom right in the ovaries next time you see her, please.

7:59🔗 Caller Yeah. She hasn't made the best decisions when it comes to men.

8:02🔗 Drew Yeah. By the way, get her dad and kick him in the nuts.

8:06🔗 Caller Yeah. Well.

8:07🔗 Drew Your mom's dad.

8:08🔗 Caller Yeah. I wonder. He died when my mom was eight. But that's interesting. Though my mom was sexually abused as a child.

8:13🔗 Drew Yeah. That's the point.

8:14🔗 Adam Who did that?

8:15🔗 Caller Her brother.

8:16🔗 Drew Her brother. Someone got...

8:18🔗 Caller It's just amazing, right?

8:19🔗 Drew No. It's not amazing.

8:20🔗 Yeah.

8:20🔗 Caller Exactly.

8:21🔗 Adam It's pretty easy math.

8:22🔗 Yeah.

8:23🔗 Adam So now what are we going to do?

8:25🔗 Caller Well, my question is, A, how do we react to my brother? My brother has been in counseling since we found out that he was being sexually abused. The counselor says it's very likely that he was being sexually abused probably from infancy.

8:38🔗 Agreed.

8:40🔗 Adam Does he still walk around like Carmen Miranda with that towel on his head?

8:45🔗 Drew All right. What is your question?

8:47🔗 Caller My question is, what do we do? My mom, myself, do we encourage this behavior?

8:52🔗 Drew Do we discourage Just get him therapy. Don't shame him, but just get him therapy.

8:58🔗 Caller And then another question is...

8:59🔗 Adam You say he's 11 now or 10?

9:01🔗 Caller No, he's 7.

9:02🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Oh, 11. He's 11 months older or younger than the 8-year-old is. Right.

9:10🔗 Caller Okay. Also, if he is gay, I mean, I've entertained the possibility, is that simply a product of his dysfunction? And so what do we, you know, like, how do you react to that?

9:22🔗 Drew Well, many children, male children, they're sexually abused by a male become gay. Now, is that, was there some biological predisposition there? Those people are sort of rendered that way. You know what I mean? Those that have the biological predisposition, they're sort of born gay, it's probably a different population. And we certainly see the pattern here all the time, is that if, is either a confused or gay male, usually sexually compulsive, has that history. I mean, that's commonly there.

9:52🔗 Adam Well, listen, here's the good news for society, Taylor.

9:55🔗 Caller Yes.

9:55🔗 Adam A, if he was straight, he'd probably stab some guy by the time he was 12 and be in juvie for a good 14 years and then be busted for dealing crank.

10:05🔗 Caller Right.

10:06🔗 Adam All right, now, so as it is, he's just gonna start some recycling program and meet himself a nice guy and not populate the planet with more screwed up kids. So in a way, it's nature's way, and it's an interesting thing, and we never talked about this, Drew, but it just popped in my head. It's nature's way of saying, hey, you've screwed this kid up badly. He's not gonna have any kids to screw up. It's gonna stop here. He'll be gay and he won't have any kids.

10:32🔗 Caller Well, see, I prefer not to label him, though, as just just like...

10:35🔗 Adam Oh, call him homo.

10:36🔗 Caller That he's going to be in a business.

10:38🔗 Adam Oh, oh, I see, I see.

10:38🔗 Caller You know what I mean? I hate to think of my 7-year-old brother as...

10:42🔗 Adam All right, well, listen, stop thinking about it so much. I mean, he's 7. You know, he's got a good 6, 7 years before he makes a move.

10:51🔗 Caller Right.

10:51🔗 Adam So, just relax. You're 21.

10:53🔗 Drew Be supportive, get him some treatment.

10:55🔗 Adam Yeah, what's up with you?

10:56🔗 Caller Actually, I'm getting ready to graduate from college, a four-year university.

11:01🔗 Drew University.

11:03🔗 Adam Where are you going?

11:04🔗 Caller I go to Lewis and Clark College.

11:06🔗 Adam Oh, man, I almost went there.

11:07🔗 Are you serious?

11:08🔗 Adam Well, almost. You count them sending me a letter to play football there.

11:14🔗 Yeah.

11:15🔗 Caller Yeah. So, I'm getting ready to graduate and I'm doing the Teach for America program.

11:20🔗 Adam That's a good school. Little school.

11:22🔗 Yeah.

11:22🔗 Adam Nice. All right, baby. Good times. Don't worry about your kid brother so much.

11:26🔗 Drew Stay supportive. Love him. Just relax.

11:28🔗 Adam He'll be fine.

11:28🔗 Okay.

11:29🔗 Adam He's in therapy. He'll do all right.

11:31🔗 All righty.

11:31🔗 Adam He's got to be some great composer or something. Something very artistic.

11:36🔗 Caller He loves to dance.

11:37🔗 Adam There you go. Lewis and Clark. Where is that?

11:42🔗 Drew Portland. Must be Portland.

11:43🔗 Adam Portland? Yeah. I got a few letters from them. Noah?

11:47🔗 Caller Hello.

11:48🔗 Adam What's up?

11:49🔗 Caller Yeah. I got two questions for Dr. Drew. I was wondering if I could ask one on the air and one off.

11:55🔗 Adam Now, one on the air and none off the air.

12:00🔗 Caller All right.

12:00🔗 Adam All right. So you want to ask? I'll tell you what. Why don't you ask the off the air question on the air and then save the on the air question for off the air. Mix it up a little bit.

12:10🔗 How would you know which one's which?

12:11🔗 Adam I'll trust you, Noah.

12:15🔗 Caller All right. All right.

12:16🔗 Adam I go ahead.

12:16🔗 Caller I can ask you two questions, please.

12:18🔗 Drew Here you go.

12:18🔗 Caller Thanks, man. All right. I just started dating this girl like two months ago, and we got intimate and she's kind of big. I'm not going to lie. When I went down, her inner thighs were kind of discolored, like she's white, but they were like, I don't know, like she had beige or brown skin. I was wondering if that was from friction or-

12:38🔗 Drew Yeah. People will pigment where the skin has been irritated. It could be from fungus, yeast.

12:43🔗 Adam Was it on her northern side because it could be moss?

12:47🔗 Drew No, it's from irritation of some type.

12:49🔗 Caller Yeah. It was just on her inner thigh. It wasn't real up high.

12:51🔗 Drew It's from irritation of some type, either yeast or friction.

12:54🔗 Adam How did you fit down there? Did you have to get a running start or you just tip over on the bed, do that log in the forest thing?

13:00🔗 Caller I'm pretty strong. I kind of force the legs open.

13:03🔗 Adam Nice. Yeah. That's what I do when I go down a woman. I get rigid. I put my hands behind the back and I just tip over. I pace it out six feet from their vagina and then I just tip over so my face lands right on it. How big a gal is she?

13:24🔗 Caller 180, 190 I guess.

13:26🔗 Adam They need love too Noah.

13:27🔗 Drew What's your other question?

13:29🔗 Caller It's like for my sister. She didn't want to call but she has, we listen to the show all the time and a week or two ago, you had a guy calling about his girlfriend having facial hair. That's my sister's problem.

13:41🔗 Drew Vanica is the crane.

13:43🔗 Caller Thank you.

13:43🔗 Drew Vanica.

13:44🔗 Caller She didn't want to get on the phone. I was trying to hand her the phone as we're in commercial or something like that.

13:49🔗 Drew V-A-N-I-Q-A, I think it is spelled. Alright, wait.

13:53🔗 Caller One more time.

13:55🔗 Drew V-A-N-I-Q-A or Q-U-A, I'm not sure. I think it's V-A-N-I-Q-A.

14:00🔗 Caller Yeah, because in my opinion, she has a husband and don't look that bad, but just like on the bottom of her chin.

14:05🔗 Adam Yeah. That's alright.

14:06🔗 Caller I don't know, women are like that, I guess.

14:08🔗 Drew It's for the light skin. It's for the Dr. Seuss, the Dr. Seuss hair.

14:12🔗 Adam The Vanica?

14:13🔗 Drew Sam I Am.

14:13🔗 Adam What do you do? Rub it on?

14:14🔗 Drew Yeah.

14:15🔗 Adam You get a prescription?

14:16🔗 Drew Uh-huh.

14:17🔗 Adam Yeah. If it was over the counter, you'd eat it, but you know, you'd die by the spoonful.

14:22🔗 Drew Of course.

14:23🔗 Adam You'd kill yourself. Right. But you can get it from prescription. Interesting. Mike?

14:29🔗 Yeah.

14:30🔗 Adam You're 31?

14:31🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

14:32🔗 Adam What's up?

14:33🔗 Caller Well, I got a couple of questions for you.

14:35🔗 Adam All right.

14:36🔗 Caller Me and my wife have been married for seven years. And we have a two-year-old, three-year-old and a seven-year-old.

14:44🔗 Adam Yeah.

14:46🔗 Caller And she's on, my seven-year-old is on spring break. And my question is, okay, she went back up to her family, around the Akron area.

14:59🔗 Adam All right. In Ohio?

15:01🔗 Caller In Ohio. You know, it's the first time in seven years that we've been like, not totally, me and my wife don't talk.

15:10🔗 Adam I see.

15:11🔗 Caller She's here, the kids are here, everything's fine.

15:14🔗 Adam Right. Why don't you talk?

15:17🔗 Caller Because I guess we don't have nothing to say to each other, I reckon.

15:20🔗 Adam All right. Let's all buy that. You're all talked out.

15:24🔗 Caller Yeah, but what it is, is she's not here, the kids ain't here, I can't sleep at night.

15:29🔗 Drew Right now?

15:30🔗 Caller Right now.

15:31🔗 Adam Why can't you sleep at night?

15:33🔗 Caller Because I'm used to, my daughter was getting up in the middle of the night, you know, just to carry on.

15:39🔗 Drew What do you mean carry on?

15:40🔗 Caller You know, cry, you know, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

15:45🔗 Drew Every night in the middle of the night?

15:46🔗 Caller Yeah, well, about 3 o'clock in the morning every night. I got used to that, you know, my 2 year old, my 3 year old does that.

15:52🔗 Drew That's not...

15:53🔗 Caller They need a diaper change or something, you know. But, they've been gone for 5 days now. I got 5 more days. I ain't ate nothing since they left. Every time I try to eat, I can't eat. But, I've been drinking like very heavily.

16:12🔗 Adam I see.

16:12🔗 Drew No kidding.

16:13🔗 Caller I took my Playboy out and jacked up a few times to it. And...

16:17🔗 Adam Hold on, let me write that down. Playboy, yeah. Checked off.

16:21🔗 Caller Well, you know, I usually have sex with her every night.

16:26🔗 Adam Your wife?

16:27🔗 Drew But, you don't talk to her?

16:28🔗 Caller Right.

16:29🔗 Drew Okay.

16:29🔗 Adam How does she know...

16:31🔗 Caller Well, we don't communicate.

16:33🔗 Caller All right.

16:33🔗 Caller She's here. I'm here. The kids are here.

16:36🔗 Caller Right.

16:37🔗 Caller You know, I work and everything.

16:39🔗 Drew Here's the motion.

16:40🔗 Adam You talk, but you don't communicate. Like you say stuff like, woman, where's my vinyls? And like, hold still and stuff like that.

16:49🔗 Caller Yeah. You know, I'm going to go outside and cut the grass, you know, dinner and all this.

16:54🔗 Adam Right. Yeah.

16:55🔗 Caller It's basically bulls**t.

16:57🔗 Adam Oh, hey, watch the language here, man.

17:00🔗 Caller You know, just basically, you know, just, just, my problem is, is...

17:06🔗 Drew Were you a heroin addict one time?

17:08🔗 Caller No, no, no.

17:09🔗 Drew Were you on crack or something?

17:10🔗 Caller I don't smoke weed or nothing. I drink beer.

17:12🔗 Adam When were they coming, when are they coming back?

17:14🔗 Caller On the 22nd.

17:16🔗 Adam Uh-huh. And just a few more days.

17:20🔗 Caller Five more. I'm halfway there.

17:21🔗 Drew Well, the reason you're not sleeping is because of the alcohol. And you can actually... You need... How much are you drinking on an average day now?

17:29🔗 Caller Well, since they left, I drank a case or a few more after... Yeah, I buy on a case a day.

17:36🔗 Drew See, you stop that, you could have a seizure. So I would suggest you get yourself to a doctor before you give yourself some real serious health problems here.

17:42🔗 Adam What kind of beer are you putting down there, Mike?

17:49🔗 Drew And the most important thing for the health of your family...

17:52🔗 Adam I smelt domestic, you know?...

17:53🔗 Drew is that you...

17:54🔗 Adam I just smell like a Bex or a Heineken.

17:56🔗 Drew You get your alcoholism treated because that is the most serious threat to your family right now.

18:00🔗 Adam Alcohol, like Drew, he only does a case or so a day.

18:05🔗 Caller Well, I'm sitting here shaking because I ain't eaten nothing for four days.

18:07🔗 Drew Yeah, the shakiness, though, is the alcohol withdrawal. It doesn't matter if you're eating or not.

18:11🔗 Adam Mike, when you get loaded, don't you want a nice fast food burger, a nice chili burger or something?

18:17🔗 Caller Well, actually, I made me an Easter Sunday. I made me, cooked up in the oven here, a bacon. I made me some BLTs.

18:28🔗 Drew Why don't you call AA locally?

18:29🔗 Caller I made my sandwich up and I couldn't eat. I took a bite of it and it just made me sick to my stomach.

18:34🔗 Drew When you're drinking a case a day of beer, how the hell are you going to eat?

18:38🔗 Adam You are taking some calories in even though you're drinking light.

18:41🔗 Drew Call local AA. Just look at the phone books. AA. Have someone come get you.

18:46🔗 Caller Well, I don't drink like this normally.

18:48🔗 Adam I understand, but you're doing it now.

18:50🔗 Caller I wish my wife would leave me forever, but then she's gone now.

18:55🔗 Adam Well, you ought to write greeting cards, Mike.

18:59🔗 Drew I wish you'd leave me forever, but now that you're gone, I miss you.

19:02🔗 Caller What it is, I'm sitting here bored. I'm looking at these walls.

19:05🔗 Adam I understand.

19:05🔗 Caller I'm talking to my dog. I sit here and talk to my dog.

19:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I can see your dog.

19:10🔗 Caller My dog looks at me like I'm stupid.

19:11🔗 Adam Yeah, well, he may have a point there, you know.

19:14🔗 Caller But I ain't got nothing to be upset about.

19:15🔗 Adam All right, Mike, what do you do for a living?

19:18🔗 Caller I'm a freight handler.

19:20🔗 Adam Freight handler. Are you able to go to work in the morning?

19:23🔗 Caller Well, I'm off tomorrow.

19:24🔗 Adam I see. All right. Well, listen, buddy, you got to get some food in your stomach. And, Drew, seriously, can he wean him? Hold on, hold on a second. Can he wean himself down off of this beer a little bit? He's doing 24 a day. How about doing a 12-pack tomorrow?

19:39🔗 Drew Yeah, but he's still got himself in a big trouble here.

19:41🔗 Adam Why? 12-pack?

19:43🔗 Drew Yeah, 12-pack and then a 6-pack over like, you know, two days each.

19:47🔗 Adam Yeah, how about, well, this guy's not going AAA. How about you do like 18 beers tomorrow?

19:52🔗 Drew I can do 12. I can drop to 12.

19:53🔗 Adam Okay, go down a 12-pack, Mike, and see about getting a few corn dogs in you.

20:00🔗 Drew I don't think it's going to work, though. I think he needs to be treated, detoxed.

20:04🔗 Adam Really?

20:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

20:05🔗 Adam Why can't he drop down a 12-pack?

20:07🔗 Drew Because he's already shaking. So he's having withdrawal all the time. He's trying to keep up with that. When he drops down, that withdrawal is going to come crash and throw.

20:16🔗 Adam Let's just all close our eyes for one second and picture those three youngins. They have like a two-year-old, the three-year-old, and the seven-year-old.

20:25🔗 Drew It's crying every night.

20:27🔗 Adam Let's just close our eyes and picture that life. As a matter of fact, let's leave our eyes open and take a nice big inhale. Let's see if we can put ourselves into Mike's cabin or trailer, hole or burrow or den or whatever he lives in. Damn. Let's all just, yeah, smell that? Naughty pine, marl burrows, and bush light. A little BO sprinkled in. A little baby crap.

20:58🔗 Drew Some bomb over here.

20:59🔗 Adam Yeah, you guys getting it?

21:00🔗 Drew A little dog pee.

21:00🔗 Adam Oh, wait, a little dog. Dog here.

21:03🔗 Yeah.

21:04🔗 Adam Okay. Now, you guys think you got it bad? Nope. You're only one of Mike's kids.

21:10🔗 Where's my bourbon?

21:12🔗 Adam All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Alien Ant Farm is around here somewhere. Allegedly excited about doing the show, so we'll see if we can dig those guys up and get them in here after this.

21:23🔗 Oh, yes!

21:25🔗 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

21:31🔗 Caller Hi, this is Matt Stone and Trey Parker from South Park and Baywatch. And you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

21:40🔗 Adam Nate, yes, you is. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Alien Ant Farm is our guest tonight. Mike Cosgrove, Ty Zamora, and Dryden Mitchell are all here. And Terry Corso, right? Yeah, he's here. He's going to come in here later. Yeah. Yeah, all right. I got that all worked out. We, let's see, should we hear an Alien Ant Farm song? And then we'll come back and then everyone will go, oh, that's Alien Ant Farm. We like those guys.

22:09🔗 Alien Ant Farm Or they hate us too.

22:12🔗 Adam Well, they may do that too.

22:13🔗 Alien Ant Farm But it would be 1-800-HATE-191.

22:17🔗 Adam Either way, you'll have a label when you come back. Okay. You queued up there, Anderson? Yep. All right. This one's called Movies. There you go. Alien Ant Farm, everybody. CD is called Anthology, or as it's written here, Anthology. And these guys are going to be on the Warped Tour this summer. Which branch, which leg you guys are on?

25:48🔗 Alien Ant Farm We're on the Hole Tour.

25:49🔗 Adam Oh, really? Yeah.

25:50🔗 We're going to sleep for two months with no showers.

25:53🔗 Alien Ant Farm And I decided I'm going to wear New Balance the whole time instead of Vans.

25:57🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. That's a slap in the face.

25:58🔗 Caller I think he's going to run fast too.

26:02🔗 Adam You know, I always, I have my own, you know why, this is why it's torturous to be me or torturesome to be me, however you, however the text is. Whenever I see a concert and I see a guy bouncing all over the place and he's wearing boots out there, I think, man, I'd have some high tops. I'd tape my ankles too. I'm jumping off of amps and equipment and crowd surfing and diving.

26:24🔗 Alien Ant Farm I like 20-hole docks, steel toe. It's 100 degrees outside and he's wearing a cape with a black leather jacket to preserve the image.

26:34🔗 Caller Slayer beanies are good.

26:36🔗 Adam Right, and a codpiece, it's like a studded codpiece. Yeah, just being underpants and high tops, I just pretty much treat it like a pickup basketball game. All right, you guys are from Riverside?

26:48🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah.

26:48🔗 Adam Oh man, that's bad, right?

26:50🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's good.

26:51🔗 Adam Is it good?

26:52🔗 Alien Ant Farm I like it.

26:52🔗 Adam You like Riverside?

26:53🔗 Alien Ant Farm I dig it.

26:54🔗 Drew They got the mission in there.

26:55🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh yeah, Ronald Reagan had his honeymoon there. Yeah.

26:59🔗 Adam Really?

26:59🔗 Alien Ant Farm You know, he's Jab Nancy in that room.

27:03🔗 Adam Jab. That's going to run through my masturbatory fantasy.

27:08🔗 Alien Ant Farm I wonder, can you booby hump with just one boob?

27:11🔗 Adam Oh, does she just have one now?

27:16🔗 Alien Ant Farm Maybe back in the day, like, she had both.

27:18🔗 Adam I guess you could if you went in through the shoulder and used the chin as the second boob, like came in from the side.

27:25🔗 Caller I heard he was waiting for ribbing though.

27:28🔗 Adam Yeah, that's good. That's another thing I'll ponder tonight. Matt?

27:32🔗 Yeah.

27:33🔗 Adam You're 30?

27:34🔗 Caller Yep.

27:35🔗 Adam What's up?

27:36🔗 Got a couple concerns.

27:38🔗 Caller I'm just wondering if it's because I'm getting older or what, but back in the day when I'd get an erection, it was pretty damn hard and I could have sex for a pretty good amount of time. How long? Now hard turns into... I mean, I still... I'm married. I have sex a couple, three times a week. Don't have a problem with it, but it's not like it used to be.

28:01🔗 Back four or five days ago.

28:03🔗 Drew What's the problem?

28:03🔗 For five years, I mean.

28:04🔗 Adam Right.

28:05🔗 Drew What's the problem?

28:06🔗 Caller Well, the problem is I'm wondering if it just...

28:09🔗 Drew No, no. Why is it different than it used to be?

28:12🔗 Adam Well, he doesn't know.

28:13🔗 Caller Well, it's not hard.

28:15🔗 Caller I mean, it's not... It used to be almost so hard that it hurt.

28:18🔗 Drew You never get fully erect or you lose your erection while you're having sex?

28:23🔗 Caller Well, I don't get as fully erect.

28:25🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

28:27🔗 Caller No.

28:28🔗 Adam Hey, Drew, what is that with the difference between the it'll do boner and that diving board boner? You only get in the morning, it seems, you know, that just...

28:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't even get it in the morning.

28:42🔗 Drew Makes a cartoon sound.

28:45🔗 Adam No, the one you can launch a ball of socks off of. You ever do that, like pull it down, like, huh, there we go, salvo for the hamper. Yeah, that one. That one where you can actually launch things. And then you got that other one that's this kind of leather. You know what I mean? It's like an old baguette or something.

29:04🔗 Drew Is that where my anger comes in? What? Is that what?

29:07🔗 Caller Is that where like my anger would come in?

29:09🔗 Caller Is that what that helps?

29:10🔗 Drew Well, yeah, it would. But you're only 30 for crying out loud. Do you smoke cigarettes or do a lot of drugs or something?

29:15🔗 Caller Nope.

29:16🔗 Adam But Drew, what is the difference between that extra burst of blood in there? I mean, that extra pump, you know what I mean? That tops off with blood.

29:25🔗 Drew It's levels of arousal.

29:26🔗 Alien Ant Farm It could be just in your head.

29:28🔗 Drew You mean you masturbate what?

29:30🔗 Caller It doesn't get that hard.

29:32🔗 Drew Really? You don't smoke cigarettes?

29:34🔗 Caller Nope.

29:35🔗 Drew No medicines?

29:36🔗 Caller No drugs.

29:37🔗 Drew No medicines. No drugs?

29:38🔗 Caller No medicines.

29:40🔗 Adam What if you were with a different woman? What do you think? I don't know.

29:44🔗 Caller I don't want to think about it.

29:45🔗 Adam Well, in the name of science.

29:46🔗 Drew Are you overweight?

29:48🔗 Caller Uh.

29:49🔗 Drew How much do you weigh?

29:50🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I guess I am.

29:51🔗 Drew How much do you weigh?

29:52🔗 Caller I'm 6'1.

29:53🔗 Caller I weigh 2'25.

29:55🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah, well, that's radio talk. But I'm not. 5'11, 2'60. 2'65. Okay.

30:03🔗 Caller All right.

30:04🔗 Drew But sometimes, you know, the excess fat can cause high levels of circulating estrogen, can change your blood supply. You know, being overweight and out of shape can impact on all that.

30:14🔗 Caller Right.

30:14🔗 Adam So, Matt, why don't you work on that? It's your only angle.

30:17🔗 Caller If I have back problems, would that be something also?

30:20🔗 Drew Are you taking any medicine for the back?

30:22🔗 Caller No, not medicine. But I just sore back.

30:24🔗 Caller I wear construction and so.

30:26🔗 Drew You don't take anything for your back? No, nothing.

30:31🔗 Caller When I injured it, I took, you know, the ibuprofen.

30:34🔗 Adam Yeah, Drew, it's like, we ought to do a daytime TV show called Junkie Hunt, where people call in and they say, no, I've never tried. Never? No. Never before? No. Your dad now called? No. He died when I was eight.

30:51🔗 Caller Aha, how?

30:52🔗 Adam Heart attack.

30:52🔗 Caller Why?

30:53🔗 Adam I see. You high now? No. No, I've never. Reefer? No. Erwin? No. You just spent a whole day, you.

31:01🔗 Drew It'll be nice.

31:02🔗 Adam And then eventually get it down to the fact that they had a drag off a cigarette in 1972.

31:07🔗 Caller Aha.

31:07🔗 Drew Good times.

31:08🔗 Caller Aha.

31:08🔗 Adam And a cap full of Robitussin in 1979, and then you'd claim victory.

31:13🔗 Drew Well, you should get a medical evaluation.

31:15🔗 Adam Junkie Hunt. It'd be a good TV.

31:20🔗 Drew Matt, you show us you get a medical evaluation. The higher conditions of things can impact on this. So you go.

31:24🔗 Adam But, Drew, you're not aroused in the morning when you get that best of all boners. Why, what is that about?

31:31🔗 Drew That's about a full bladder, as much as anything.

31:36🔗 Caller So what about if you just save your bladder?

31:38🔗 Drew The best of all boners.

31:40🔗 Adam Maybe he could, that is your best boner. That morning, that launched the Sox album.

31:45🔗 Drew Best of all boners.

31:46🔗 Adam He, that would run after Junkie Hunt.

31:50🔗 Drew Best of all boners?

31:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:51🔗 Drew Yeah. That's good.

31:54🔗 Adam All right. I'm done asking a question. Let's move on. Clarissa?

31:58🔗 Yeah.

31:59🔗 Adam You're 16?

32:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:00🔗 Adam What's up?

32:02🔗 I'm like really tiny.

32:03🔗 Caller I'm like five feet tall and I'm only like a size two or three, you know, but my chest is like really big. Like it's not that big, but it's big on me, you know, like a CRD. And it's just I have these like ugly stretch marks.

32:18🔗 Adam No, I'm still with you. I'm still with you.

32:20🔗 Caller And I was just wondering if there was anything that would make them go away.

32:24🔗 Drew The stretch marks?

32:25🔗 Caller Yeah. And also like I'm a cheerleader and an answer too. So like the dancing and jumping, I don't want to have really saggy, ugly boobs when I get older. So is there anything that I can do to like...

32:38🔗 Adam Clarissa, the first thing you can do is turn down your goddamn police scanner or whatever you got going back there.

32:45🔗 Caller Police scanner? Oh, the TV?

32:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

32:47🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh, sorry.

32:48🔗 Drew Of course, it's a cartoon. I've worn over the cartoon.

32:51🔗 Adam What are you watching? Is that Wally Gator? Which one is that?

32:55🔗 Caller It's MTV.

32:57🔗 Adam Oh, that junk. Shoot that TV like Elvis. So let me get this straight. Five foot, petite, large breast. Wear a cheerleading outfit and jump up and down all the time.

33:11🔗 Alien Ant Farm Basically.

33:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:13🔗 Adam That's right.

33:14🔗 Alien Ant Farm I'm really like, I'm not joking or anything.

33:15🔗 Caller I don't know.

33:16🔗 Drew Stretch marks was bothering her, though.

33:17🔗 Adam I don't mind the stretch marks. Do you guys mind the stretch marks on a woman?

33:20🔗 Alien Ant Farm I'll just close my eyes.

33:22🔗 Caller Yeah, that's cool.

33:23🔗 Adam It is.

33:24🔗 Drew No big deal.

33:24🔗 Adam You know the thing about-

33:25🔗 Caller Is that like cocoa butter supposed to help that or something?

33:28🔗 Drew No.

33:28🔗 Adam It sounds like it would.

33:29🔗 Alien Ant Farm I think cocoa butter maybe like, isn't that something you do when your wife's pregnant before she gets the stretch marks?

33:36🔗 Drew Nothing.

33:36🔗 Alien Ant Farm Is that just a myth?

33:37🔗 Drew Yeah, nothing else. Oh.

33:39🔗 Adam See, to me, it means when I see the stretch marks, I'm like, big jugs can't be far. You know, I'm like an Indian who's going down a trail, you know, sniffing it out. What's this?

33:50🔗 Caller It's just horrible when it's the other way around.

33:51🔗 Adam Put my ear down to the ground. I listen to the train track. Iron horse. I'm a much whomp on my horse.

34:00🔗 Caller And like the other thing is-

34:01🔗 Adam I don't mind that. I like that.

34:04🔗 Caller Yeah. The other thing is like no one in my family like really knows where they came from. My mom has a really small chest and my grandma like has implants like they came from nowhere like and so I don't know how much bigger they could possibly get.

34:17🔗 Alien Ant Farm Is it nowhere near Riverside?

34:18🔗 Drew She wants to know where her breast came from.

34:20🔗 Caller What about your dad? Does he have big breasts?

34:22🔗 Adam Hold on. Did you say your grandmother had implants?

34:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

34:25🔗 Drew How old's your grandmother?

34:26🔗 Adam How did that all get by? All four of you?

34:28🔗 Drew Because in my head it went breast cancer with implants.

34:31🔗 Caller What?

34:32🔗 Drew That's where my head went.

34:34🔗 Adam Your grandmother has implants? Why is that?

34:38🔗 Caller So she looks beautiful.

34:41🔗 Drew How old's your grandmother?

34:42🔗 Caller Not that old.

34:43🔗 Drew How old?

34:44🔗 Caller Maybe 50 something.

34:46🔗 Adam How long she had them implants?

34:48🔗 Caller I think for a while, back when they could still use silicone.

34:51🔗 Adam So she got them, I don't know, 15 years ago?

34:55🔗 Caller Maybe even more, I don't.

34:57🔗 Adam Wow. Remember when we were talking about time going by quickly? Grandma's got implants now and ain't no big deal to Clarissa. She's like, I'm like, your grandma's implants?

35:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:08🔗 Caller To look good? That's a big deal.

35:10🔗 Adam Hey, retard.

35:12🔗 Caller Yeah, duh.

35:14🔗 Adam So she can fill out her bra.

35:16🔗 Caller Wow. All right.

35:17🔗 Adam So you really know where she got hers. No one knows where you got your boobs.

35:21🔗 Caller No. And so I'm really afraid I'm going to be able to.

35:23🔗 Adam My family's the same way with my sack. Nobody knows.

35:26🔗 Caller That's great.

35:27🔗 Adam My dad has a medium sack. My grandfather's a small sack. I have a huge sack.

35:30🔗 Drew And you're Mr. Lassig's.

35:31🔗 Adam I don't know where it came from. Yeah. We talk about it every Thanksgiving. I pull my sack out. I put it right in a serving tray and everyone's unaware it came from.

35:40🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's like East Lickish stuffing in this cornucopia.

35:43🔗 Drew Cornupletting?

35:46🔗 Adam All right, Clarissa, you're fine, baby.

35:49🔗 Caller OK.

35:49🔗 Drew Just relax.

35:50🔗 Adam There's nothing you can do now.

35:51🔗 Drew Yeah, you're trying to second guess what you're going to be like. There are plenty of things that will be done if you have a problem with this or it starts to affect your back or neck or shoulders.

35:58🔗 Caller How old can you be to get them taken away?

36:01🔗 Drew Well, I mean, Soleil Moonfry when she was 16.

36:04🔗 Adam Yeah. How's the shape of the breast now?

36:08🔗 Caller Round? I don't know. I mean.

36:10🔗 Adam Okay. Boy, you're what you call a concrete thinker, aren't you?

36:14🔗 Caller Do they face the floor or the sky?

36:16🔗 Adam They're not trapezoidal shaped or oblong. No. They're not hexagonal. You're saying they're round breasts. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting. Let me write that one down. Boy, I think she hit her head cheerleading. Maybe she fell off a pyramid or something.

36:31🔗 Caller Maybe one of her boobs hit her in the head a couple of times.

36:33🔗 Drew But this is that pain in the neck quality, right?

36:35🔗 Adam Oh, she must be good looking. Hold on a second.

36:37🔗 I'm hot and I want to care.

36:38🔗 Adam Clarissa?

36:39🔗 Drew Yeah?

36:39🔗 Adam You're good looking, right?

36:40🔗 Caller Oh, thanks, sweetie.

36:41🔗 Adam Are you? I'm asking. You're good looking? Yes?

36:46🔗 Caller I guess.

36:47🔗 Adam Yeah, you are. I know, because you're kind of, you're a little bit of a pain in the ass.

36:50🔗 Caller Oh, sorry.

36:51🔗 Adam That's all right, baby. She can't help it. You make me feel bad. You can't help it. You're good looking.

36:55🔗 Caller Oh, well, you know.

36:56🔗 Adam Okay.

36:57🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

36:57🔗 Caller Take care.

36:58🔗 Adam Now, I know, I know from talking what good looking girls sound like over the radio, because they answer questions like, your grandma has a brass up.

37:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:07🔗 Adam Why?

37:08🔗 Caller To look better.

37:09🔗 Adam Your brass, what shape are they in? Brown? They kind of, good looking girls can make you feel like an asshole for every question you ask.

37:19🔗 Drew Sure. Except when you're not encumbered by their parents, they just sound like a pain in the ass.

37:23🔗 Adam Yeah. If I was standing in front of her, I'd be apologizing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That was stupid, that was stupid. You're right, it was a stupid question, a stupid question. Sorry about the grandma. Stupid. In the brass, retarded. Borderline retarded. I'm going to kill myself later. Can I have a BJ? Right. Fat chicks don't answer questions that way. They apologize. It's great. All right. Alien Ant Farm is our guest tonight. We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, Drew, speak to Nancy who's 16. She likes her gay friend and is thinking about being in a threesome. Is her gay friend a chick, Nancy? Nancy?

37:56🔗 Hello?

37:57🔗 Adam Is your gay friend a guy or a girl?

37:59🔗 It's a guy.

38:00🔗 Adam Okay. Hold on a second.

38:01🔗 Hello?

38:03🔗 Hello Frisco.

38:04🔗 Adam Ethel Merman in the house. We'll take ourselves a break. We'll be back.

38:10🔗 Hello?

38:11🔗 Caller This is Loveline.

38:12🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

38:14🔗 Caller Loveline, we'll be right back.

38:24🔗 Adam Yep, Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Cypress Hill in here tomorrow night. Is that right, Drew? Yep. Yeah. All right, it'll be good to see those guys for the tenth time this month.

38:39🔗 Caller Did you let them smoke pot in there?

38:41🔗 Adam Uh, no, we asked that they step, um... Yeah, actually, no, did they smoke pot? They don't smoke pot in here.

38:47🔗 Drew They sure have, I'm sure.

38:48🔗 Alien Ant Farm I think Drew Bogart's at all.

38:50🔗 Drew Yeah. They get a little nervous by the way.

38:53🔗 Adam Yeah, Drew has, uh... I don't know if the kids still use these, but Drew's old school, he has the sick shooter that attaches to his bong. It's that...

39:01🔗 Caller I've seen it.

39:02🔗 Adam That six-slot bowl that you twist it around.

39:04🔗 Caller You twist it up and turn it around.

39:05🔗 Adam Well, the one Drew uses is more like a clip. You slide it from left to right. It's like click, click, click, click, click.

39:11🔗 Drew Like a machine gun.

39:12🔗 Adam Yeah, you know you're smoking a lot of weed when you have to preload six bowls. You know, you can't take the time in between bowls to load another goddamn bowl.

39:22🔗 Caller No, I would have guessed Drew for a converted mini vacuum electric.

39:28🔗 Adam He did that, but he burnt that out and then he melted it. And then what he did is he tried to run it off his cigarette lighter that had an adapter in the car and it fried the electrical system. He put that away and he went standby with the gas mask ball. That's the other one too.

39:43🔗 Drew Look at these guys' schedule. They're in Hollywood, the Mesa, Arizona, then Penningtonly Park, Illinois, and then London, and then back to Phoenix, Arizona and Las Vegas and Nevada.

39:51🔗 Adam That would be Alien Ant Farm by the way.

39:54🔗 Caller We tired.

39:56🔗 Alien Ant Farm We so tired after this schedule like that.

39:58🔗 Caller Where?

39:59🔗 Adam Oh my God. Yeah. Well, you guys, you're young, you got life in you.

40:03🔗 Caller The cocaine really.

40:04🔗 Oh yeah, it helps.

40:05🔗 Alien Ant Farm No, I have this fear of saying the wrong city just because we're like traveling, but it hasn't happened yet.

40:11🔗 Adam Right. Well, that's why you can't. You just go, you know, you do what I do, which is I hear and I pause, I go, you guys like the party. You never get into trouble that way. You want to use that one?

40:25🔗 Alien Ant Farm I'll take it.

40:26🔗 Adam You guys.

40:27🔗 Alien Ant Farm You guys.

40:27🔗 Adam Big, long, noticeable, uncomfortable pause. Look at a couple other bandmates and then go you guys.

40:33🔗 Alien Ant Farm I think you guys is near Riverside too.

40:36🔗 Adam Yeah, Ronald Reagan and Nailed Nancy and you guys. I think for their anniversary. Oh, speaking of Nancy. Nancy on the phone. She says 16. What's up?

40:47🔗 Alien Ant Farm Hi.

40:48🔗 Adam Hey.

40:48🔗 Alien Ant Farm Are you still pushing the saying out of drugs?

40:51🔗 Alien Ant Farm Um, yeah.

40:52🔗 Drew Let's go ahead.

40:53🔗 Adam Oh, you got the gay male friend.

40:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:57🔗 Adam Who you're turned on by, right?

40:58🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah, I'm like, I really like him.

41:01🔗 Drew He's gay, Nancy.

41:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:03🔗 Adam You think he may be bi?

41:05🔗 Alien Ant Farm Um, I'm not sure because, like, I don't really talk to him about it anymore.

41:10🔗 Drew About what?

41:10🔗 Caller About him being gay.

41:12🔗 Drew Why?

41:13🔗 Alien Ant Farm Because, like, I don't know, like, he just doesn't really like to talk about it very much.

41:18🔗 Adam Okay. And you want to have a threesome with him and another male?

41:22🔗 Alien Ant Farm I'm thinking about it, yeah.

41:23🔗 Caller Why?

41:25🔗 Alien Ant Farm I don't know. I'm really starting to like him, and maybe he'll start liking me if...

41:30🔗 Drew No.

41:30🔗 Adam I was thinking about a threesome in high school.

41:33🔗 Drew That is not how guys work, Nancy. And especially not how gay guys work, but it's not how any guy works.

41:37🔗 Caller If it's two guys who are gay, why would you strike out twice there?

41:42🔗 Drew Yeah. But making a guy sleep with you does not make him like you. No way.

41:47🔗 Alien Ant Farm Because maybe I was thinking we could get closer.

41:49🔗 Drew No way. No way. That is not how men work. But gay men are gay. You're not going to change him from being gay to heterosexual.

41:56🔗 Caller Yeah, that's true.

41:57🔗 Adam Yeah. Broken hearted and plagued with the hiv. That's how he's going to leave you, Nancy. All right. So why don't you find yourself a nice straight guy?

42:06🔗 Alien Ant Farm Okay. And also, I'd like to say hi to Alien Ant Farm.

42:09🔗 Alien Ant Farm Hi. Hello.

42:11🔗 Alien Ant Farm Hi. And I don't know. I hope, like, I think, I don't know if you guys remember me and my friend Seema. We sat on Ty's lap on Saturday.

42:18🔗 Alien Ant Farm Wow. Lucky Ty.

42:21🔗 Caller I remember Seema.

42:22🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh, you don't remember me?

42:23🔗 Caller You told me you love me more than your mom.

42:25🔗 I remember you.

42:27🔗 Alien Ant Farm But I love my mom more than you.

42:29🔗 Caller That's not what you said Saturday.

42:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Nancy, are you really offended that he likes you second to his mother?

42:36🔗 Caller No.

42:37🔗 Adam All right. So you can get over that.

42:38🔗 Alien Ant Farm I have a lesbian friend named Nancy.

42:40🔗 Adam That's crazy, huh?

42:41🔗 Alien Ant Farm That's pretty funny.

42:41🔗 Adam That could be her. She needs to find herself a nice guy. And trying to convert a gay guy into loving her because she had sex with him is a horrible, horrible plan.

42:50🔗 Drew That's right.

42:51🔗 Adam I've tried that multiple, multiple times. It does not work. Rachel.

42:57🔗 Hi.

42:58🔗 Adam Hey, you're 23.

42:59🔗 Caller Yes.

42:59🔗 Adam What's up?

43:01🔗 Caller My question is, about a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis.

43:07🔗 Drew And why? Did you have, were you on prednisone or something when you were younger?

43:11🔗 Caller No, I'm bulimic. And I've been bulimic for about 10 years.

43:16🔗 Drew Did you already shut down or anything like that?

43:19🔗 Caller No. Okay. I mean, I've never had a regular menstrual cycle, but even prior to the bulimia, I didn't.

43:27🔗 Drew So you're already still function, though. Yes.

43:30🔗 Caller Yes. And my question is, my doctor had sent me to a bone specialist and I got a bone scan done and everything and he thought that I should go on Fosamax.

43:40🔗 Drew Right.

43:41🔗 Adam On what?

43:41🔗 Drew Fosamax.

43:42🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

43:43🔗 Adam So she was throwing up or as...

43:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:46🔗 Adam The whole, most are teeny, teeny ears.

43:49🔗 Drew Yeah. Now she's got soft decalcification, demineralization of her bone.

43:53🔗 Adam Because she didn't get the nutrients she needed?

43:54🔗 Drew Basically, that's it.

43:56🔗 Alien Ant Farm Are your teeth all funky?

43:58🔗 Caller Actually, they're not. They probably should be, but they're not.

44:02🔗 Adam Right.

44:03🔗 Drew All right. Well, what's the question now? So you got to go, you're on the Fosamax.

44:07🔗 Caller I didn't go on it because I went to the bone specialist. He wrote a letter to my doctor saying that I should go on this, and then she started doing some research, and they basically found out that there haven't been any studies done on women that have not already gone through menopause, and that basically I would be a guinea pig.

44:27🔗 Drew Nonsense. Well, we use it on men, we use it on all kinds of osteoporosis now.

44:34🔗 Caller But I guess her concern was that if it stored in my bones, if I was to get pregnant, she didn't know if it would do any harm to an unborn fetus.

44:44🔗 Drew I think that is nonsense.

44:45🔗 Adam All right, so what should she do?

44:46🔗 Drew I mean, you've got a very serious issue here, right?

44:50🔗 Caller Right.

44:50🔗 Drew You have to find some sort of bone restoring therapy. If you don't want to use, you want to use Fosamax, then use calcitonin, use mycalsin, use something, or use other diphosphonates in cycles. But diphosphonates do not circulate in, which look, Fosamax is in that class. It doesn't circulate.

45:08🔗 Adam What are you looking at? What am I going to call you on that? Fosamax is not in that class. That's a calcium carbonate class.

45:14🔗 Drew Don't circulate.

45:15🔗 Adam I've studied Fosamax for many years.

45:16🔗 Drew You need to talk to the bone specialist.

45:18🔗 Adam I have double-blind tests on both Fosamax and Ace Mags, and I can tell you conclusively that there's a large difference between those two supplements.

45:26🔗 Drew Rachel, the bone specialist.

45:28🔗 Adam I like that title, bone specialist, though.

45:33🔗 Drew That's your bone metabolism specialist.

45:34🔗 Adam I'll send you to the bone specialist, maybe.

45:37🔗 Caller The studies that she did find that were done were only in my life. No, that's sick.

45:43🔗 Drew Look, you talk to the specialist. I guarantee you he's had experience with it.

45:46🔗 Caller The reason I'm calling is because my insurance ran out and I can't go back.

45:49🔗 Drew You can call them. You can call her and discuss it on the phone if you have concerns about this. This could potentially become a life-threatening problem for you. It is a very serious issue. If you don't want to use the Fosum X, you need some form of bone-restoring therapy. Obviously, no smoking, calcium, vitamin D, and exercise is an important part of this too.

46:06🔗 Adam Or you'll be going to the boneyard, right?

46:09🔗 Drew Yes, sir.

46:09🔗 Adam Hey, listen, y'all, all you young gals who want to fit into your mini dresses and culottes and whatever the hell you're wearing. They still wearing tube tops, Drew. This is what happens. You vomit, you might as well just throw your skeleton up right out your mouth, right?

46:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

46:27🔗 Adam Just heave it out like a bad cartoon.

46:29🔗 Drew That's the easy complication.

46:31🔗 Adam It is?

46:32🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

46:32🔗 Adam Yeah. You ruin yourself. You really will. You'll look good through high school. You won't even look good. You'll be too skinny. We like a little curve on that ass. And then you'll be like, well, Nancy Reagan at age 23.

46:47🔗 Alien Ant Farm Black Earth is good.

46:48🔗 That's right.

46:50🔗 Adam All right. Alien Ant Farm is our guest. We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back with them and you after this.

46:57🔗 Caller Hello.

46:58🔗 Caller This is Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-1-91.

47:01🔗 Caller Loveline will be right back.

47:06🔗 Caller Loveline.

47:07🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Cypress Hill in here tomorrow night. Alien Ant Farm in here tonight. Anthology is the name of the CD. We're doing a little rotation here. So let me just make sure I got everyone right here. We got Ty and Terry and Dryden in here now, right?

47:26🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

47:28🔗 Adam We'll keep the rotation going. All right. So we take some more calls, get back to the phones.

47:34🔗 Drew No, I'll just sit here.

47:35🔗 Adam No, you want to just sort of ruminate a little. You guys got a website or anything, anything you want to plug, any phone numbers, anything like that?

47:43🔗 Caller You can go on our website. It's alienantfarm.com.

47:47🔗 Adam All right.

47:47🔗 Caller With three W's in front of it and a dot.

47:50🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

47:50🔗 Drew Good times.

47:51🔗 Adam Yeah, good times.

47:52🔗 Alien Ant Farm All right.

47:53🔗 Adam You guys got to, I got to say, we get a lot of bands in here. You guys got a pretty good following of guys out in the parking lot there. That's nice.

48:01🔗 Caller Yeah. I was kind of surprised by that.

48:03🔗 Alien Ant Farm I wasn't expecting that. How do those kids know that this is where Loveline is?

48:07🔗 Adam Yeah, it's a good, scary question.

48:10🔗 Drew Because those are not people that have shown up before for anybody else.

48:13🔗 Adam No, they aren't the usual autograph hounds. Yeah, those are hardcore Alien Ant Farm fans.

48:19🔗 Drew They probably call K-Rock and ask.

48:21🔗 Adam No, they probably, oh yeah, they probably did. And they just tell them?

48:25🔗 Drew Yeah.

48:26🔗 Adam Well, you got to understand.

48:27🔗 Drew Their infinite wisdom.

48:29🔗 Adam You got to, you know, it's a weird thing about the security and phone operators and stuff. It's sort of the guy who's lowest on the totem pole is the guy who's answering the phones.

48:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

48:39🔗 Adam So he can pretty much call him, just pick his brain.

48:41🔗 Alien Ant Farm Isn't that what you do, though, is answer the calls?

48:43🔗 Yeah.

48:44🔗 Adam That's true.

48:45🔗 Drew Well, we would have found a way to parlay that.

48:47🔗 Adam A valid point.

48:47🔗 Drew We would have found a way to parlay that phone op job into something on air.

48:52🔗 Adam Yeah. That's right. That's right. We stuck it out. That's right. Drew was a van driver just 18 months ago, right, Drew?

48:59🔗 Drew It was three years ago.

49:00🔗 Adam Sorry, buddy. I know. Shawana? Shawana. Shawana? Well, it's spelled the weird way.

49:07🔗 Caller Shawana, you wanna?

49:10🔗 Caller All right.

49:11🔗 Adam What's up there?

49:13🔗 Alien Ant Farm Well, I do this really weird thing. Like, I'll sit there for like hours and I'll like pull my hair. Like, I'll scrape it. And then like after that.

49:24🔗 Alien Ant Farm How do you scrape your hair?

49:25🔗 Alien Ant Farm Huh?

49:26🔗 Alien Ant Farm You scrape your hair? How do you scrape it?

49:27🔗 Alien Ant Farm I don't know how to explain it. Like with my fingernail.

49:30🔗 Alien Ant Farm You pull it.

49:30🔗 Alien Ant Farm So.

49:31🔗 Caller Your scalp or your hair?

49:33🔗 Alien Ant Farm Like my hair.

49:34🔗 Adam Is it coming out?

49:36🔗 Alien Ant Farm Um, sometimes I pull it out. Sometimes I just.

49:39🔗 Adam Could we tell by looking at you? That's what you do?

49:42🔗 Alien Ant Farm No. Most people can't tell.

49:44🔗 Drew Most hair pullers like that have a spot that they pull on.

49:46🔗 Alien Ant Farm Well, yeah, I do. And it's like underneath like.

49:49🔗 Drew So you can't, we couldn't see that spot. But if we pulled your hair up and looked at that spot, we'd see it.

49:53🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah.

49:53🔗 Drew Okay.

49:54🔗 Adam Well, let's not do that.

49:56🔗 Drew What's the question?

49:57🔗 Alien Ant Farm Well, there's like, there's one too. Like after that, this is like really embarrassing. But like, I like go into this thing where like I'll masturbate to like, like not, I don't know. It's not like a fun thing. It's like it hurts, like to hurt myself. Like I think of really weird things. Like what?

50:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:15🔗 Alien Ant Farm Like people like raping me or something.

50:18🔗 Drew Has that ever happened to you?

50:19🔗 Alien Ant Farm I don't know. I don't really remember.

50:21🔗 Drew You think maybe that happened to you?

50:23🔗 Alien Ant Farm I don't know. And then after that, I cut myself.

50:26🔗 Drew Oh boy.

50:27🔗 Adam I see. So everything is going on right now, right?

50:29🔗 You should try branding.

50:30🔗 Caller I hear it's really good.

50:32🔗 Adam Do you, where do you cut yourself?

50:35🔗 Alien Ant Farm Um, like places like where people wouldn't be able to see like...

50:40🔗 Drew Thighs.

50:40🔗 Alien Ant Farm Like, well no actually because I'm a cheerleader and like I can't have people see that.

50:46🔗 Drew You have an eating disorder too?

50:48🔗 Alien Ant Farm Huh?

50:48🔗 Drew Eating disorder also?

50:50🔗 Alien Ant Farm I used to. It kind of relapsed sometimes.

50:55🔗 Alien Ant Farm You should start cutting farts instead of yourself.

50:59🔗 Adam That would be a great PSA for you guys to cut. Cut farts, not flesh. Hi, we're Alien Ant Farm. You know, we have a lot of fun on stage. One thing that's not so funny is cutting. One thing, although that is very funny, is cutting a fart.

51:14🔗 Alien Ant Farm If you're going to cut something, cut the chase.

51:17🔗 That's right.

51:20🔗 Adam Yeah, you women, you don't have that love, do you?

51:23🔗 Drew No, they can't find love in that.

51:26🔗 Adam I'll tell you, I kill myself. That's an empty life.

51:29🔗 Drew Without fart humor?

51:30🔗 Adam That's a shell of a life.

51:31🔗 Caller But then isn't it weird when you find one that does find humor in it, you're kind of weirded out by it.

51:36🔗 Adam Yeah, you're a little suspicious. Let me see, quick nut check.

51:39🔗 Caller You're out for like the second day and she farts in your car and she starts cracking up.

51:43🔗 Adam Right, and you're thrown off. It's like, wait a minute, I got to rethink this whole fart thing. I thought I was in love with it until it came out of you.

51:49🔗 Alien Ant Farm Maybe you should stop pulling the hair on your head and pull your leg hairs out and you don't have to worry about shaving anymore.

51:58🔗 Adam No.

51:59🔗 Drew So what is your question exactly, Fred?

52:01🔗 Alien Ant Farm Well, I don't know, like I've gone through like a lot of therapy and like I've taken different medication and it just doesn't seem to help. I'm like the medicine I'm on right now worked like for a while but now it doesn't.

52:14🔗 Drew What do you want?

52:15🔗 Alien Ant Farm Zoloft.

52:16🔗 Drew How much?

52:17🔗 Alien Ant Farm 50.

52:18🔗 Drew Maybe you need more because Zoloft sometimes wears off after a few weeks.

52:21🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah, it seems like all my medicine I've ever taken.

52:24🔗 Drew Well, did you see a psychiatrist or is it a general doctor prescribing this stuff?

52:29🔗 Alien Ant Farm Well, a general doctor but I've gone to psychiatrists too. I've been in and out of like a bunch of different doctors.

52:37🔗 Adam All right. Well, you got to stay with it. I mean, I know it's a fright but-

52:41🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's really hard because right now we have no money because of my dad.

52:45🔗 Adam Okay. Well, how about you know what you're doing? How about stopping? Do you think you could do that?

52:50🔗 Drew I can't with hair falling.

52:51🔗 Adam Well, not with you saying that.

52:53🔗 Alien Ant Farm The hard, like the hair thing is the hardest.

52:56🔗 Drew How about you stop masturbating?

52:58🔗 Adam How dare you?

52:59🔗 Drew How dare you?

53:00🔗 Adam I didn't call this show. Why does everything turn to my penis, by the way?

53:06🔗 Drew But, Chyna, why don't you go to like a support group for women, something like that, somewhere you can talk, get some support from peers?

53:12🔗 Alien Ant Farm I can't do that though.

53:15🔗 Drew Why?

53:16🔗 Alien Ant Farm Because I can't let my parents know really how bad it is.

53:22🔗 Drew Why?

53:22🔗 Alien Ant Farm Because like my mom is stuck on this whole idea that I'm like...

53:26🔗 Drew Perfect. Right.

53:27🔗 Adam That's where you got the eating disorder and all the mess in the first place.

53:31🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah, she used to have bulimia.

53:33🔗 Drew She used to have bulimia. Interesting.

53:34🔗 Alien Ant Farm Huh?

53:35🔗 Drew She used to have bulimia?

53:36🔗 Alien Ant Farm When I was like, I guess when I was like little, she told me about it like that. She told me about that when I was like two years old.

53:43🔗 Caller Well, being that said, like maybe she can relate to it and you should go to her. You never know. Maybe she could be someone that you could talk to about it and understand.

53:54🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah. I'm kind of going enough with that. She just gets mad at me if I relapse.

53:58🔗 Caller And mom's love is free.

54:00🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah.

54:00🔗 Adam Why don't you talk to your parents about it or school counselor? I mean, your friends, you just you got to work on it. There's no easy answer here and we can't just tell you, do a bunch of stuff and you tell us, I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it.

54:13🔗 Alien Ant Farm I know.

54:14🔗 Adam You got to do something.

54:15🔗 Caller I know.

54:16🔗 Adam How about finding Jesus Christ?

54:18🔗 Caller I go to church.

54:19🔗 Adam Okay, there you go.

54:20🔗 Alien Ant Farm I just started again.

54:22🔗 Drew There was a group with the church. You need some support, you need a place to talk, you need a group of friends.

54:28🔗 Adam I was thinking of farting.

54:30🔗 Drew Yeah.

54:30🔗 Adam I know she needs help. All right, but let's move on because I was just thinking about gas. I was in the man show office today in my office with Jimmy and Bobcat Goldthwait is in there, right? And we're having an 1130 meeting and there's about 10, 11 people in this big office. And Jimmy criticizes Bobcat for something and Bob walks over to his desk and farts on Jimmy. And Jimmy announces, never screw with a guy who can fart on command. And which I'm not so sure Bobcat can do or can't do.

55:04🔗 Drew He just made it appear that he could.

55:05🔗 Adam He makes it appear. But it was really great. So Bob standing in front of everyone after Jimmy says this and I said, I don't know. I mean, Bob, can you really fart on demand? And before the word demand is finished, a huge fart comes out of them. And I thought, wow, that's that touche. That's all that needs to be said right there.

55:25🔗 Drew If only he could share that talent with the world. Oh, he'd be the biggest comedic genius of all time.

55:31🔗 Adam I had some respect for him before, but now he's my god. I mean, to be ripping a huge fart when someone is questioning you, whether you can fart on demand or not.

55:41🔗 Caller And that's huge.

55:43🔗 Adam Oh, that was huge. And it was big.

55:46🔗 Drew Did you guys work the rest of the day?

55:48🔗 Adam I went nuts.

55:49🔗 Drew No, I went.

55:49🔗 Adam I had to take a break.

55:50🔗 Caller These guys are right. These two here on each of my sides are pretty close.

55:55🔗 Adam On demand, huh?

55:56🔗 Caller No.

55:57🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's pay-per-view.

55:59🔗 Adam I see.

56:01🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's pay-per-pew.

56:02🔗 Adam If you got something, though, let's hear it. That's all I'm saying.

56:06🔗 Caller OK.

56:06🔗 Adam I mean, I don't want to put you guys on the spot.

56:08🔗 Caller I can work it up.

56:08🔗 Adam I'll definitely get on. I'm not asking you to play, you know, cold. But I'm saying if something comes up.

56:13🔗 Alien Ant Farm My girlfriend's sister, she's in a band, and the old drummer could fart on command. He said he started by... He would do a headstand against the wall and like kind of suck air in there.

56:26🔗 Adam Right.

56:26🔗 Alien Ant Farm We have those guys. And then now he can just do it without having to stand on his head.

56:30🔗 It's kind of like a queef, you know.

56:31🔗 Caller Girls do that.

56:33🔗 Adam Right.

56:34🔗 Caller Right.

56:37🔗 Adam How did that go again? You sure the vagina didn't fall asleep in the story? Adrian? Hey. Hey, you're 16. What's up?

56:51🔗 Caller I was wondering about for the summer time coming up, like, you know, for, if you shave your chest, does it actually come back like darker and thicker?

56:59🔗 Drew No.

57:00🔗 Caller No?

57:00🔗 Adam I don't think anything comes back darker and thicker.

57:02🔗 Drew It comes back the same.

57:03🔗 Adam Yeah. Why should it?

57:05🔗 Caller Yeah. Hey, Alien Ant Farm.

57:08🔗 Caller What up?

57:08🔗 Caller How are you doing? I saw you with Orgy at the House of Blues in Chicago. You guys were amazing.

57:12🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh, thank you very much.

57:14🔗 Caller Did you guys ever go granite?

57:16🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah, I think we did. I think that's around 15 records and we're at like paper now.

57:22🔗 Caller I think we're at 17 or 18 now.

57:24🔗 Caller Yeah, good going guys. Love you.

57:26🔗 Alien Ant Farm Thank you very much.

57:27🔗 Caller Thank you guys. Bye.

57:28🔗 Adam Thanks, Adam. Hey, how was Orgy? I like those guys.

57:31🔗 Alien Ant Farm They're really nice fellows. They're all wound up. They're really like high strung.

57:37🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:38🔗 Caller It's fun to be around them.

57:40🔗 Alien Ant Farm They're awesome.

57:40🔗 Caller They put on a great show too.

57:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I've never seen them live actually, but we've had them on the show a few times.

57:46🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's a good show. They're great live.

57:49🔗 Adam Zach?

57:51🔗 Caller Yes.

57:51🔗 Adam You're 21?

57:53🔗 Caller Yes.

57:53🔗 Adam What's up?

57:56🔗 Caller Well, my main problem is my girlfriend is real well endowed, let's just say.

58:02🔗 Alien Ant Farm Your girlfriend has a large penis?

58:04🔗 Drew Big vagina.

58:06🔗 No, she's got a rather large breast.

58:08🔗 Drew Oh.

58:08🔗 Adam Good, good. Yes.

58:11🔗 Caller And I'm not.

58:14🔗 Caller So it's, you know, we start getting, you know, we live together, we, you know, we're naked or whatever and it's like.

58:21🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:22🔗 Caller She's quite a turn-on.

58:23🔗 Caller I feel like I'm not, you know what I mean?

58:26🔗 Caller Your breasts are small?

58:27🔗 Adam Right?

58:28🔗 Caller No.

58:29🔗 Adam We're confused. You have a small penis and she has a large breast?

58:33🔗 Caller Yes.

58:34🔗 Drew So what? So what?

58:36🔗 Adam That's good for you.

58:37🔗 Alien Ant Farm So it's like the opposite. When you get a Dodger dog and the buns are little, like it's, she's got the big boobs and you got the, the do you cocktail weenie?

58:46🔗 Drew Do you somehow think that women are turned on by the size of a penis? The way some men are turned on by the size of breasts?

58:52🔗 Caller Are women like more like.

58:54🔗 Drew Zach, do you believe that?

58:56🔗 Caller Not necessarily at all.

58:56🔗 Drew No, that's right. So what's the problem here?

59:00🔗 Caller It's, it's more I feel like I guess I don't satisfy her the way she does me.

59:05🔗 Drew Does she tell you that?

59:07🔗 Caller No.

59:07🔗 Drew So where is this all coming from?

59:10🔗 Adam It's growing. How big is your penis?

59:13🔗 Caller That's between me and myself.

59:15🔗 Adam Well, I see.

59:16🔗 Caller Or me and my girlfriend, I guess, rather.

59:18🔗 Drew Roughly, give us an estimate.

59:21🔗 Caller Probably about five inches.

59:23🔗 Adam Ah, that's not too bad.

59:25🔗 Drew That's normal.

59:26🔗 Adam Yeah, that's all right.

59:28🔗 Drew That's normal. So what is it about your life that that has become a symbol for an ant?

59:32🔗 Adam I really want to talk to Zach.

59:33🔗 Drew Zach, are you not working?

59:35🔗 Caller What's that?

59:36🔗 Drew Are you not working?

59:37🔗 Caller Am I not working? No, I work.

59:39🔗 Adam Okay, listen.

59:40🔗 Caller Women are vocal.

59:43🔗 Adam I can't spend a night with Zach. Are you working, huh? Are you working? Am I working? It's too much. He's got a small penis, fine.

59:51🔗 Drew He doesn't have a small penis. He doesn't feel adequate as a person, and the penis becomes a symbol for that.

59:57🔗 Adam Yes. Just go down on her more. You compensate with your mouth.

1:00:01🔗 Drew But she hasn't complained about anything. She may be perfectly happy. Listen, a lot of women like small as opposed to big.

1:00:07🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:00:08🔗 Caller Yeah. Nice.

1:00:09🔗 Adam I got to find some of them.

1:00:10🔗 Drew You know where I am?

1:00:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:00:12🔗 Drew You know the Sam Phillips? I do that.

1:00:13🔗 Adam Yeah. The blonde you do that TV show as?

1:00:16🔗 Drew Small penis.

1:00:16🔗 Caller What about her?

1:00:18🔗 Adam Likes a small penis? She's just saying that to make her vagina accessible to the common man.

1:00:23🔗 Caller No, no.

1:00:25🔗 Adam Her vagina is a good politician. No? No. She likes a small penis. But you know why? A small penis is nice. It's like hiring a handicap guy.

1:00:35🔗 Drew They work harder.

1:00:36🔗 Adam But they compensate.

1:00:36🔗 Drew You hear all the time in the show. Big hurts. Big hurts. That's it. It's out. Uncomfortable.

1:00:42🔗 Adam Really? You okay? You're talking about women.

1:00:47🔗 Drew It hurts me. Small hurts too.

1:00:50🔗 Adam All right. Sima? Sima?

1:00:54🔗 Caller Sima down now.

1:00:56🔗 Adam Sima down now? S-I-M-A?

1:01:00🔗 Caller Anyone?

1:01:01🔗 Adam All right. Sixteen?

1:01:04🔗 Drew Sleeping? I hurt her.

1:01:06🔗 Adam Really? Stalk her. Chicks don't snore, though.

1:01:10🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah. Maybe it's the queen.

1:01:12🔗 Adam Put her back on.

1:01:13🔗 Alien Ant Farm Wee-bee.

1:01:16🔗 Adam Matt?

1:01:17🔗 Caller Hey, guys.

1:01:18🔗 Adam What's up? Hey, you're 21. What's your question?

1:01:21🔗 Caller Man, I can't believe I'm talking to Dr. Drew and the great Spudini.

1:01:23🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:01:24🔗 Caller Yeah, thank you. I need to set this up with a quick story, so please bear with me. I'm in a fraternity. About three weeks ago, we had a party, a big party, lots of people there. Three girls show up at the door, look pretty young. We were guessing, I was guessing probably about 18. They come in. One of them takes off right away and starts dancing with a bunch of different guys. Ends up dancing with a friend of mine. My girlfriend and I are talking to the two other girls just making small talk. And I said something to them like, so you guys are freshmen? And they kind of giggled a little bit. And they're like, yeah, we're freshmen. And I was like, what's so funny? After practicing them for a while, found out that they're actually freshmen in high school. They were both about 15 years old. And their friend was also 15 years old. Later on, their friend hooked up with my friend. He's also 21, which I am in the fraternity. And so they hook up and disappear. And for the last couple weeks, she's been coming over to our place and spending the night pretty regularly. I talked to him about it. I was like, you know, she's 15, right? And he said, yeah, I didn't seem too concerned about it. I said, you know, this is statutory rape. We could get in a big trouble if anybody found out. It's not good for her. He didn't seem to really care. And my question is really, you know, how I should proceed with this. If at all I could probably, you know, I could just leave enough alone and say it's not really, you know, my problem or it's none of my business, or I could talk to, you know, the executive council of my fraternity.

1:02:55🔗 Drew You got to do that.

1:02:56🔗 Adam How about the evil dean?

1:02:58🔗 Drew No, no.

1:02:58🔗 Adam You get him involved.

1:02:59🔗 Drew There's got to be due process within your fraternity. You got to do that or you will be you will be a part of this when it comes down.

1:03:05🔗 Caller Yeah, right.

1:03:06🔗 Drew I know you did. It's the right thing to break this up in some way.

1:03:10🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, as serious as the fraternities are taking this kind of thing nowadays, it's something he could potentially get kicked out for.

1:03:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:03:17🔗 Caller But I mean, and probably with good reason, I hate to do this kind of thing to come.

1:03:22🔗 Adam Yeah, talk to your head guy. I'm sure he'll pull you aside and say, listen, now we here at CHI data rape, I take this kind of this kind of thing very seriously.

1:03:34🔗 Alien Ant Farm Maybe the Dean will give her a whirl.

1:03:36🔗 Caller Yeah, maybe they'll look up. You never know.

1:03:40🔗 Adam Talk to your fraternity guy. I don't know, Drew, were you in a fraternity?

1:03:43🔗 Drew Not really.

1:03:44🔗 Adam What do you mean not? Not really.

1:03:47🔗 Drew I was.

1:03:47🔗 Adam That means you're in one.

1:03:48🔗 Drew No, I took a semester off in college. I came back and lived in a fraternity, but didn't go through the hole.

1:03:52🔗 Adam What the hell does that mean?

1:03:54🔗 Drew Yeah, it was kind of weird. No beer bongs? Oh, there was a beer bong.

1:03:59🔗 Caller Did you do a beer bong?

1:04:00🔗 Adam That's where he got a sick shooter. His bong sick shooter.

1:04:03🔗 Drew There was a lot of pots when he smoked.

1:04:05🔗 Adam Really? Oh yeah, he didn't condone that at all. Wait a minute, you took a semester off of college? Yeah. For what?

1:04:14🔗 Drew For nothing.

1:04:15🔗 Adam Nothing? Didn't your dad spaz out?

1:04:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:04:18🔗 Adam Really? Nice.

1:04:19🔗 Drew Good times.

1:04:20🔗 Adam So you did what? You worked?

1:04:21🔗 Drew You got laid?

1:04:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:04:23🔗 Drew No. No.

1:04:24🔗 Adam No? You got laid?

1:04:26🔗 Drew No.

1:04:26🔗 Adam Yeah?

1:04:26🔗 Drew No.

1:04:27🔗 Adam Okay. And then you went and then you joined a fraternity?

1:04:31🔗 Drew No, I didn't join. It's just it's sort of where sophomores lived when they and so I needed to find a place to live when I got back.

1:04:37🔗 Adam Where? Where was this?

1:04:38🔗 Drew In Amherst.

1:04:39🔗 Adam Really? And you lived in a fraternity house?

1:04:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:04:42🔗 Adam Crazy, man. All right. Brother, brother Drew, everyone.

1:04:46🔗 Caller Any 15-year-olds?

1:04:48🔗 Caller No, no.

1:04:49🔗 Adam Some 14 or 13. It's cool. It's legal in some states though. Back then, it was game on. Lisa?

1:04:56🔗 Caller Hi.

1:04:56🔗 Adam You're 35?

1:04:58🔗 Caller Yes.

1:04:58🔗 Adam What's up?

1:05:00🔗 Caller I'm 35. Married 17 and a half years.

1:05:04🔗 Adam All right.

1:05:05🔗 Caller March 31st was our anniversary.

1:05:07🔗 Adam All right. We'll send you out a windbreaker.

1:05:10🔗 Caller To the camp.

1:05:12🔗 Caller My question is, how do I tell him, you know, I'm done?

1:05:16🔗 Adam You're done with the relationship? Yes?

1:05:19🔗 Caller I feel.

1:05:20🔗 Adam Okay.

1:05:21🔗 Alien Ant Farm First send the windbreaker back to Adam.

1:05:23🔗 Adam Right. I'm going to need that back.

1:05:25🔗 Drew Why are you done?

1:05:28🔗 Caller Why am I done?

1:05:29🔗 Drew Are you loaded, Lisa, or what's going on?

1:05:32🔗 Caller Yeah, a little bit, but-

1:05:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:05:33🔗 Caller A little bit.

1:05:35🔗 Caller A little bit.

1:05:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:05:36🔗 Alien Ant Farm About 350.

1:05:39🔗 Adam Hey, Lisa.

1:05:39🔗 Drew Find the junk.

1:05:41🔗 Adam I know this seems like a normal pace for you because you're loaded, but it's super, super slow. It's like Quaalude slow for us.

1:05:50🔗 Alien Ant Farm Do some speed and call back.

1:05:52🔗 Adam So we need you to pick it up just a little bit.

1:05:54🔗 Caller All right.

1:05:57🔗 Caller Okay.

1:05:59🔗 Alien Ant Farm Way beyond Quaaludes.

1:06:00🔗 Caller That was like in the 70s.

1:06:02🔗 Adam Okay, man. So you have kids?

1:06:06🔗 Caller I have three.

1:06:06🔗 Drew What are we doing now? Heroin or Xanax? Or what are you doing beyond Quaaludes?

1:06:11🔗 Caller Oh, come on.

1:06:13🔗 Caller I'm serious here. All right.

1:06:17🔗 Adam Wait a second.

1:06:19🔗 Drew What the do?

1:06:20🔗 Adam What drugs are you doing?

1:06:24🔗 Drew Hello?

1:06:25🔗 Alien Ant Farm Hi.

1:06:26🔗 Drew What drugs are you doing?

1:06:27🔗 Alien Ant Farm I'm serious here.

1:06:27🔗 Drew We're serious, too.

1:06:28🔗 Alien Ant Farm How do I do this?

1:06:29🔗 Drew What drugs are you doing?

1:06:30🔗 Caller How do I tell him?

1:06:31🔗 Drew What drugs are you doing? We can't discuss that until we figure out what state you're in. What drugs are you doing?

1:06:36🔗 Caller Just, I don't do drugs.

1:06:37🔗 Caller Just Bacardi Rum.

1:06:39🔗 Drew Just alcohol?

1:06:40🔗 Caller Just alcohol.

1:06:40🔗 Drew Is he an alcoholic, too?

1:06:42🔗 Caller Yes.

1:06:43🔗 Adam Why do you want to leave him?

1:06:45🔗 Alien Ant Farm He drinks all of our booze.

1:06:47🔗 Adam Getting into your stash, huh?

1:06:48🔗 Drew Why do you want to leave?

1:06:51🔗 Caller I don't want to leave.

1:06:52🔗 Drew All right. So why do you want to tell him you're done if you don't want to leave?

1:06:56🔗 Caller Because I'm tired of babysitting his ass.

1:06:59🔗 Drew Why don't you both do something about your alcoholism? Why don't you do something first and set a little bit of an example and see if maybe he hasn't followed you into some sort of recovery? He's both loaded, ain't going nowhere, no matter what. You're just going to go from one miserable relationship into another.

1:07:16🔗 Caller And I've got to be the strong one.

1:07:17🔗 Caller I've been the strong one for seven years.

1:07:19🔗 Drew Don't be strong. Stop being strong. Just go, go.

1:07:21🔗 Caller That's what you said.

1:07:23🔗 Caller That's it.

1:07:23🔗 Drew No, stop being strong. Just sit down.

1:07:25🔗 Caller Do it first.

1:07:26🔗 Caller I've got to do it first.

1:07:28🔗 Adam That's right.

1:07:29🔗 Caller I'm always the strong one.

1:07:30🔗 Adam Hey, mama.

1:07:31🔗 Caller And you know what? I'm tired of being the strong one.

1:07:34🔗 Adam Yeah, good. Stop having so many goddamn kids then, you screwball.

1:07:37🔗 Caller I don't have a bunch of kids you screw at.

1:07:40🔗 Adam You said you had three kids.

1:07:46🔗 Caller You just like being mean.

1:07:48🔗 Adam I do not. Well, okay. All right. All right. You got me on that part. Don't you?

1:07:53🔗 Caller You like being mean because you think it makes you sound cool.

1:07:56🔗 Adam Don't you have three kids?

1:07:57🔗 Caller God, you sound like my husband.

1:07:59🔗 Adam Do you have three kids or not?

1:08:01🔗 Alien Ant Farm He's Adam Cool-Rolla.

1:08:02🔗 Adam That's right.

1:08:03🔗 Drew The great Spudina.

1:08:04🔗 Adam The kids all love me.

1:08:05🔗 Drew Do you have three kids?

1:08:07🔗 Caller We have three children.

1:08:09🔗 Drew Okay.

1:08:09🔗 Caller 15, 15 and eight.

1:08:11🔗 Drew How are they doing?

1:08:13🔗 Caller They're fine.

1:08:16🔗 Adam They have alcoholics parents.

1:08:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:08:18🔗 Adam Okay.

1:08:18🔗 Drew At least on their behalf, why don't you sober up? Don't worry about being strong. Just sit down in a meeting and follow some direction. Okay. Get yourself cleaned up. Worry about making yourself healthy on behalf of your kids. Don't worry about being strong for your husband. He'll either fall a suit or he won't. And if he doesn't, then that's it, then you're done. But right now you're loaded all the time. You don't know what the hell you want. You're depressed, no doubt. Start taking care of yourself a little bit, then make some decisions. But in the meantime, don't focus on anything else than trying to help yourself.

1:08:49🔗 Adam All right, Lisa.

1:08:51🔗 Caller Oh, exactly. Thank you.

1:08:52🔗 Adam Get sober for your kids, please. All right, take care of yourself.

1:08:56🔗 Caller Bye.

1:08:57🔗 Adam Good times, baby. Drew had to punch that mic. He felt so strongly about it. Drew, to be fair to you and your left hand, you have not punched a mic more than eight times a week.

1:09:08🔗 Drew And hour and a half into the show.

1:09:09🔗 Adam Yeah, Drew usually punches the mic very early on in the show. What is that mic? Is that like Wonder Woman's jet? Can you see this? Is it invisible mic?

1:09:17🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

1:09:21🔗 Adam That whole, I don't know why, but that invisible jet thing didn't seem like a great angle. I just got a plane, no one knows it's in the air. Oh yeah, that's going to work.

1:09:30🔗 Caller But you could see her.

1:09:31🔗 Adam You could see her ass sitting in it, which is even more distracting.

1:09:34🔗 Caller You could see a girl in like red, white and blue tights flying through the air in sit down position.

1:09:38🔗 Drew You could see the outline of the plane.

1:09:40🔗 Adam Yeah, there's nothing real stealthy about that. Hey, look at that chick up there dressed like the American flag. What the hell? How's she getting around? She got a bottle rocket up her ass? What the hell? Now, that's what I like about the cartoon, stuff that's invisible.

1:09:55🔗 Drew As an outline.

1:09:55🔗 Adam Still as an outline. Yes, you know. All right, Alien Ant Farm is our guest tonight. We'll take ourselves a little break, then we'll be back.

1:10:04🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:10:11🔗 Adam Big Loveline. I like this riff. What is this band again?

1:10:20🔗 Caller American Hi-Fi?

1:10:22🔗 Adam Yeah. They have a good air drumming song. Reminds me of Thin Lizzy. I like popular bands like that.

1:10:31🔗 Yeah, Frozen Hall.

1:10:32🔗 Adam Alien Ant Farm is our guest tonight. We're back with the original line up, Mike Tyne Dredd. And when we left off, we were, at least I was thinking about talking to Christina.

1:10:46🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah, it's me.

1:10:47🔗 Adam What's up?

1:10:48🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh, I just was calling to tell you in and out from like how much I love you guys. You guys are like so great. I saw you guys on Saturday at Bray and Ty Records.

1:10:56🔗 Caller Oh my gosh.

1:10:58🔗 Alien Ant Farm You guys know how to put on the show. And you guys are just so nice when I met you guys.

1:11:01🔗 Caller And you guys signed my autograph and everything.

1:11:03🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh, thank you.

1:11:04🔗 Caller We signed your autograph?

1:11:06🔗 Alien Ant Farm I mean, you signed my picture, your picture or whatever. I'm sorry. I'm so nervous.

1:11:11🔗 Adam Did Dryden say like you mourn his mom?

1:11:14🔗 Alien Ant Farm No.

1:11:16🔗 Adam That's his line normally.

1:11:18🔗 Alien Ant Farm No, it's because my friend had her picture ripped in half and he was all like, what part of my body do I sign? So it's funny.

1:11:25🔗 Adam It's good PR for the band. You're 15, right?

1:11:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:30🔗 Alien Ant Farm Well, I just want to let you guys know I'm so happy for you guys. And I saw you guys at the Glass House. I was there when you guys went to the gig and I'm so proud of you guys and you guys inspire me.

1:11:38🔗 Alien Ant Farm We're still the same size and about 160.

1:11:42🔗 Alien Ant Farm No, you guys are like, I'm so proud of you guys and I can't believe you guys. You guys are like so great.

1:11:46🔗 Alien Ant Farm Thank you very much.

1:11:47🔗 Alien Ant Farm Thank you. Hey, I love you Dryden. Hi, Terry and Mike. I love you guys all.

1:11:50🔗 Drew Bye, Christina.

1:11:51🔗 Alien Ant Farm Okay, bye.

1:11:51🔗 Caller I love you too. All right.

1:11:53🔗 Adam Get to sleep, baby.

1:11:54🔗 Alien Ant Farm Okay, bye.

1:11:56🔗 Adam She's from El Monte. That means the Monte, right? Yeah. Yeah. Don't speak that Spanish. Liz?

1:12:07🔗 Caller Yes.

1:12:07🔗 Adam You're 26.

1:12:09🔗 Caller Yes, I'm 26.

1:12:10🔗 Adam What's up?

1:12:11🔗 Caller It's the first time that I call. Well, I have a question. Last Tuesday, I took the morning after pill. And because my boyfriend and I used a condom, but it ripped. And the next day, I call a clinic and I took the pill. They told me that the only side effects that it could have will be nausea. Yeah, nausea that I will throw up, but pretty much it. And they told me that it will take it within 24 hours. It will be more effective.

1:12:43🔗 Drew Yes.

1:12:43🔗 Caller So I did. But like the week before that, I had barely had my period. And Tuesday is when I took the pill and I started bleeding.

1:12:55🔗 Drew Last Tuesday.

1:12:56🔗 Caller Yeah. Tuesday I took the pill and I started bleeding like Wednesday afternoon or Thursday. And I called the doctor to see if that was normal. And that guy was just a jerk. He told me that pretty much that it was that I could be bleeding like that for months or even for a year. And I told him, is that normal? And he goes, well, nothing is normal. And I'm kind of afraid. I don't know if that is normal or.

1:13:21🔗 Drew It is a potential side effect of that pill.

1:13:24🔗 Adam For months or a year?

1:13:25🔗 Drew No, not for months or a year. No, no, no.

1:13:27🔗 Adam Nothing is normal.

1:13:29🔗 Drew No, it'll go about a week or so.

1:13:30🔗 Adam What kind of bizarre sort of doctor is that? Is the guy high on mushrooms? What the hell is that?

1:13:38🔗 Drew Listen, the one concern I would have is that a tubal pregnancy can start out with heavy bleeding and then you get pelvic pain after that.

1:13:46🔗 Adam I think I was a tube baby.

1:13:48🔗 Drew No doubt, but if you get any pain down there, make sure you have somebody look at it.

1:13:53🔗 Caller One of the other things that they told me that if I would feel pain in my leg, and I did experience all that, but I think it was just my head was playing games with me because I wasn't really worried.

1:14:06🔗 Drew It's bad pain. I mean, if you had a little bit of bleeding, it would not be a big deal.

1:14:09🔗 Adam Oh boy, I am so glad I don't have a vagina. What a handful. I couldn't maintain one. I got to tell you, I'd be better off just keeping a llama in my house than having a vagina. I really would. I just couldn't keep after it. I couldn't keep it up. It'd be ruined. I'd probably about five years be using it like an ashtray.

1:14:30🔗 Drew You'd probably think about it.

1:14:31🔗 Adam I really would. I'd be no good anymore.

1:14:34🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

1:14:35🔗 Adam I'd be like a rock star with a Lamborghini Countach or something like McDonald's wrappers on the dash. I'd ruin my vagina. You'd have no upkeep.

1:14:45🔗 Drew You would never take tampons out. You'd just keep putting new ones in.

1:14:48🔗 Adam Now, you know what I'd do too is I'd run out of tampons. I'd start stuffing everything up there. I'd start balling. I'd be pulling the cotton out of the vitamin things and stuffing them up there. I'd start reusing tampons. I'd be like, it's fine. I rinsed it with some beer. It's fine. Yeah, flip the tampon. I'd turn the tampon inside out and stick it back up there. So what if the string went in first? Yeah, who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina, the old vagina. Yeah, I'd be a mess. Yeah. I'd run out of, I'd be using like old t-shirts for maxi pads. It wouldn't work out for me at all. Larry?

1:15:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:27🔗 Adam I can barely keep up with my penis. I need roller skates to keep up with it. Larry?

1:15:31🔗 Caller Yeah. I just want to see what you guys think about something I've been like going over in my mind.

1:15:41🔗 Adam I see.

1:15:42🔗 Caller I've been divorced about 11 years. I had a girlfriend, but that was about five years ago. I'm 50 years old. A long time ago, I used to think that having sex with animals was like a bad thing.

1:15:59🔗 Adam Well, that's what our parents thought too.

1:16:02🔗 Caller But you know, I have this female dog, and it's a female. It's not a male.

1:16:07🔗 Adam Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. It's a bitch. Right.

1:16:10🔗 Caller Well, every once in a while, I put on a rubber and I have sex with her, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

1:16:17🔗 Adam Oh, you use a condom?

1:16:19🔗 Caller Yeah, and she don't mind, and I keep myself out of trouble and stuff.

1:16:23🔗 Adam What kind of dog is it?

1:16:25🔗 Caller It's like, it weighs about 75 pounds. She's a half Australian sheepdog and a chow.

1:16:31🔗 Adam I see. Chow, watch out. They could come back, they could take a sit and take a nut off.

1:16:38🔗 Caller Do you still do it when she's on her period?

1:16:41🔗 Caller She doesn't have a period. She's six.

1:16:43🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Smart.

1:16:44🔗 Caller Smart move.

1:16:46🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's a fake call. I don't know.

1:16:49🔗 Adam I'd like to believe him.

1:16:51🔗 Caller She truly is man's best friend.

1:16:53🔗 Adam Does she have a purple tongue?

1:16:55🔗 Caller No, it's kind of got black on it.

1:16:56🔗 Adam I see.

1:16:57🔗 Caller Yeah. You know, the thing is, society says, you know, that's a wrong thing, but I don't see nothing wrong with it.

1:17:02🔗 Caller Does her tail ever whip you in the face?

1:17:05🔗 Caller No, she's got a little tail.

1:17:07🔗 Adam Let me tell you something. Society told Harry Tubman not to go to the front of the bus. Wait a minute. That was not to start the Underground Railroad and Rosa Parks not to go. One of those black chicks not to move around so much. But you know what? Rosa Parks went to the front of the bus and society is a better place because of it.

1:17:27🔗 Drew I think people perceive that as at minimum, first of all it triggers all kinds of weird fantasies in people, but I mean that you're capable of other things that might not be so pleasant.

1:17:37🔗 Adam Yeah, you show me a guy who's banging his dog and I'll show you a guy who could get hold of a kid or bomb a 7-11.

1:17:45🔗 Caller No, I would never do that.

1:17:46🔗 Drew And it turns out they don't, if you really study the people that you're going to be with.

1:17:48🔗 Caller I mean, there's a difference between a little kid and a dog.

1:17:51🔗 Drew Now secondly, you're exploiting something that is sort of defenseless and can't really...

1:17:56🔗 Caller Yeah, but she likes it.

1:17:58🔗 Adam Yeah? Well, I know, we get into this argument all the time.

1:18:02🔗 Caller Well, I mean, isn't that better than like going out, you know, and picking up some crack home?

1:18:07🔗 Adam No.

1:18:08🔗 Caller You didn't?

1:18:08🔗 Adam For the dog or for you?

1:18:10🔗 Caller Well, for me.

1:18:10🔗 Adam Oh, I see, yeah. Not for the dog. Yeah, it's probably better in you... Does it have to be the dog or the crack home? There's nothing in between.

1:18:20🔗 Caller Well, the dog is a lot less trouble.

1:18:23🔗 Adam I understand.

1:18:24🔗 Caller Plus, I feed her and stuff. Sure.

1:18:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:18:28🔗 Alien Ant Farm It's a cheap date. Some alpo.

1:18:30🔗 Adam Have another kielbasa on your ass. All right.

1:18:34🔗 Caller I mean, like, is there something wrong with me?

1:18:36🔗 Adam Well, yes.

1:18:37🔗 Caller I tried to reason it out. And I'm not hurting anybody. No. And you don't mind.

1:18:41🔗 Adam And listen, what's her name?

1:18:44🔗 Alien Ant Farm What's the dog's name?

1:18:46🔗 Caller Barbara.

1:18:47🔗 Adam Barbara?

1:18:48🔗 Caller No, Baba.

1:18:49🔗 Adam Baba.

1:18:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:50🔗 Adam So like a Indian dog?

1:18:52🔗 Caller Well, that's short for a full name.

1:18:54🔗 Adam What is that?

1:18:55🔗 Caller A Baba Buoy.

1:18:58🔗 Caller Stupid.

1:18:59🔗 Adam Oh, that's a Howard Stern thing. All right. That was good there, Larry.

1:19:03🔗 Drew Yeah. Well done.

1:19:04🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:19:04🔗 Adam I went along with that. I really did.

1:19:06🔗 Caller OK.

1:19:06🔗 Adam I like that.

1:19:07🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, it was kind of like on the cuff.

1:19:10🔗 Adam Yeah. No, I know. You're flying by the seat of your pants.

1:19:13🔗 Drew Right.

1:19:13🔗 Adam But you rolled with it. Pretty good.

1:19:15🔗 Alien Ant Farm Go hump your dog.

1:19:15🔗 Drew Hump the character.

1:19:16🔗 Caller Hey, man, I don't have sex with my dog.

1:19:18🔗 Alien Ant Farm Go hump your dog.

1:19:19🔗 Adam No. OK. He's right. He doesn't. But I still enjoyed that call. I don't mind a bogus call every once in a while. And, you know, to me, there's no real bogus calls on this show because somewhere there's someone listening to the show who is actually raping their dog.

1:19:35🔗 Caller They're on to me.

1:19:38🔗 Adam All right. You want to take another call?

1:19:40🔗 Drew How about a song?

1:19:41🔗 Adam I want to hear a song from Alien Ant Farm? Yeah. Does that mean you got a P, Drew? No.

1:19:45🔗 Drew I just don't know what we're going to play for now.

1:19:47🔗 Adam All right. Well, let's hear something from Alien Ant Farm. This one is called Courage.

1:19:51🔗 Caller Hey, this is Tyra Banks.

1:19:53🔗 Alien Ant Farm Oh, that's Tyra Banks.

1:23:20🔗 Adam Alien Ant Farm, everyone. Anthology is the name of the CD. It is currently out. So you may get that whenever you like, if you haven't already gotten it yet. We will take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Sandy. She is 19, wants to know if you can get pregnant from anal sex. This is one of my favorite. This is why I stay with this job. People say to me, they really do. They go, listen, you got another gig. You're doing stuff. You ain't getting rich off of this thing. It's every night. What the hell are you wasting your life over at that studio for? But it's this. It's the can I get pregnant from being cornhole tall that keeps me coming back every single night. It's the drip. That's right. We'll be back.

1:24:16🔗 Hi, this is Tori Amos, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:24:24🔗 Adam Mike, Terry, and Ty are all here from Alien Ant Farm. We haven't had Tori Amos in here in a while, have we, Drew?

1:24:32🔗 Drew Did she ever come on the radio? She was on TV a couple years ago.

1:24:35🔗 Adam She's been on the radio a few times.

1:24:37🔗 Drew About the same time two years ago.

1:24:38🔗 Adam I don't know. She had a baby, Ann said.

1:24:40🔗 Drew Three years ago.

1:24:41🔗 Adam She gave birth to that pig she was nursing and whatever that help was. What was that? All right. So she had a kid. Boys for Payla. Yeah. Remember that? You ever see that? The homecomers? She's like nursing a pig.

1:24:55🔗 Drew Nice. Aren't you anxious to get on your favorite call here?

1:25:00🔗 Adam Oh yeah, my favorite call. I forgot about that. I've just pictured Tori Amos with that pig. Sandy?

1:25:08🔗 Caller Hello.

1:25:09🔗 Adam Hello.

1:25:10🔗 Caller How are you doing?

1:25:12🔗 Adam Hello.

1:25:13🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:25:13🔗 Caller Can you hear me?

1:25:14🔗 Drew We got you. What's up? What's up?

1:25:17🔗 Caller Question.

1:25:18🔗 Adam Yes.

1:25:20🔗 Caller Well, I asked not to be on the air, but I guess that's okay now.

1:25:24🔗 Adam All right.

1:25:25🔗 Caller I need to know, can you get pregnant from having anal sex?

1:25:31🔗 Drew How do you figure that would work?

1:25:33🔗 Caller Excuse me?

1:25:34🔗 Adam And what would the kid look like? That's my question. Do you have like a corn stuck to it?

1:25:42🔗 Caller A little brown booty baby.

1:25:44🔗 Drew How would that happen, you figure?

1:25:46🔗 Caller I don't know. I just want to be cautious.

1:25:50🔗 Caller That's kind of like be like really dropping the kids off, huh?

1:25:53🔗 Adam Yeah. Let's try to figure this out. Now, what about oral sex? You figure that you could get pregnant that way?

1:26:00🔗 Caller Well, of course not.

1:26:01🔗 Adam All right. And how about nasally? No?

1:26:07🔗 Caller I don't know about you, but I'm not into nasal.

1:26:09🔗 Adam Oh, you're not? Well, you haven't tried it then because everyone who's tried it is into it. Right, Drew?

1:26:14🔗 Drew Are you using this as a birth control? Is that your idea?

1:26:18🔗 Caller No.

1:26:19🔗 Adam You're not.

1:26:19🔗 Drew Anal sex?

1:26:21🔗 Caller We use protection.

1:26:23🔗 Adam I see.

1:26:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:25🔗 Drew So why did you use that same protection during this act?

1:26:28🔗 Caller Well, because I think it's different.

1:26:31🔗 Adam I see. So you don't use the condom during the anal sex?

1:26:35🔗 Caller No, we don't.

1:26:37🔗 Drew That would be a good time to use one.

1:26:39🔗 Caller I think so.

1:26:39🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:40🔗 Caller Well, I'm likely to bleed.

1:26:41🔗 Adam Yeah, that's the time to break out that condom is when something's in your ass.

1:26:45🔗 Caller Because that's when you can get pregnant.

1:26:47🔗 Caller Right.

1:26:49🔗 Adam Now, say that you can't get pregnant from that.

1:26:52🔗 Caller You cannot.

1:26:52🔗 Drew Well, I guess you're trying to make the case that something could drip down or something. You know what I mean?

1:26:56🔗 Adam Yeah. Maybe if you did it in a wind tunnel or something.

1:27:03🔗 Caller So, you cannot get pregnant from...

1:27:05🔗 Drew We don't see how.

1:27:06🔗 Adam Where is this semen going?

1:27:09🔗 Caller Well, I'm just not in the uterus.

1:27:12🔗 Adam In the back. Right. Right. So, eventually... Okay.

1:27:15🔗 Caller Now, I have a question then.

1:27:17🔗 Adam Right.

1:27:18🔗 Caller I need to talk to Dr. Drew about this.

1:27:19🔗 Adam I see. I don't know if the world is flat around or what is it?

1:27:23🔗 Caller No. Okay.

1:27:25🔗 Caller For some reason...

1:27:26🔗 Caller Well, I haven't been doing this for a while, but just lately... Well, it obviously hurts a lot, but since we've been doing it, every morning, I bleed a lot.

1:27:40🔗 Drew Rectal bleeding.

1:27:42🔗 Caller I'm sorry. Yes. Why is that?

1:27:45🔗 Adam Well, you're being raped in the anus with a large instrument. And that can cause bleeding.

1:27:52🔗 Drew That is not good, Sandy.

1:27:53🔗 Adam Tri-anal rape.

1:27:54🔗 Drew First of all, make sure you take your iron supplements, but second, you have to see a doctor about this. Really? Absolutely. Thirdly, it's a great way to get sexually transmitted diseases, being the receptive partner in a course.

1:28:07🔗 Adam And fourthly, why are you doing it if you're bleeding out of your ass in the morning? I mean, what's up with your self-esteem?

1:28:15🔗 Caller Most guys can't get their girl to do it like that.

1:28:17🔗 Adam It hurts badly.

1:28:19🔗 Caller Well, I thought it was because it was something new that, you know, my body was used to.

1:28:26🔗 Adam Listen, you keep doing it though, right?

1:28:29🔗 Caller Just a few times, just like three times we've done it.

1:28:32🔗 Adam Okay, but one is enough if you're bleeding out of your ass, right?

1:28:36🔗 Caller Oh, yes.

1:28:37🔗 Adam All right. So you're like, you were a trooper, you tried. You understand? He can't fault you for that.

1:28:43🔗 Caller And you got a good sign to stop.

1:28:45🔗 Caller Would you be the pooper trooper?

1:28:49🔗 Adam You gave it the old college try and it just didn't work out for you. That's all right. You can't win every anal fight. My grandfather told me that many years ago, son, you're gonna lose some battles of the anus.

1:29:01🔗 Caller F poop. F poop.

1:29:03🔗 Drew You hold your chin up and you hold it up high.

1:29:08🔗 Adam You guys watch pornography?

1:29:10🔗 Caller Yes, very much so.

1:29:11🔗 Adam You know, the tri-anal rape reminded me of when I was talking to, I think it was Amber Lynn. It was either Ginger Lynn or Amber Lynn, but I think it was Amber Lynn. And you old school porn guys will know who that is. And she was talking, I said to her, I said, listen, that dude, that dude named John Leslie, I think the guy's name was, oh man, one of those old guys. I swear to, what the hell, John Leslie will say the guy's name is. He used to keep his eyes closed. He seemed like he hated women. What the hell is this guy's name is going to drive me nuts? All right, anyway, I said, this guy seemed a little tough on women. Didn't seem like he liked them very much. Every movie I saw him in, he was slapping the chick on the ass and grabbing her by the hair. And he was really rough with them. And she was like, no, no, she got kind of defensive. He was a good guy. I mean, you had to get to know the guy. I mean, sure, one time he did dry anal rape on me. But other than that, he was a pretty decent guy.

1:30:09🔗 Drew Except for the dry anal rape.

1:30:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:10🔗 Adam And I thought, wow, that's what I love about porn stars.

1:30:13🔗 Caller Did he stick his fist in her mouth?

1:30:15🔗 Adam Yeah, dry anal rape. And not going to...

1:30:18🔗 Caller Aside from that, he's a perfect gentleman.

1:30:19🔗 Caller That's right.

1:30:20🔗 Adam That's right. Sir Walter Raleigh beside the dry anal rape. But I thought, well, you got to love that attitude. Not going to hold it against him. All right. Tyler? Yeah. You're 21. What's up?

1:30:34🔗 Caller How you doing, Adam?

1:30:34🔗 Adam Good.

1:30:35🔗 Caller I got a question for Dr. Drew.

1:30:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:39🔗 Caller I had... I kissed a girl on a Friday. And on Sunday, I had a lump on my lip. And about two days later, I had... The entire roof of my mouth was covered with blisters and sores.

1:30:53🔗 Drew Interesting.

1:30:54🔗 Caller And then under my tongue, about two days later after that...

1:30:57🔗 Drew You weren't taking any medication during this time?

1:30:59🔗 Caller Negative. No, I was not. I went to the doctor. It's herpes. They said, we don't know what it is.

1:31:07🔗 Drew It's herpes.

1:31:08🔗 Caller Well, yeah. I found out about a week and a half after the whole thing started out. My question to you is, how soon, like, I kissed her and then two days later, I had a lump on my lip. Is it 100% sure that she gave it to me?

1:31:26🔗 Drew No.

1:31:26🔗 Caller Or can it go under regression for months on end?

1:31:28🔗 Drew It's not 100% sure. It can be up to two weeks after exposure.

1:31:33🔗 Caller Okay. And I wasn't with anybody for like three months before her.

1:31:37🔗 Adam You probably figure it's her, right?

1:31:39🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:31:40🔗 Caller I figure it's her.

1:31:41🔗 Drew I think that's reasonable.

1:31:42🔗 Adam Lawsuit.

1:31:43🔗 Drew Did she have anything?

1:31:44🔗 Caller Unless she was kissing any car batteries.

1:31:45🔗 Drew Did she have anything you could see?

1:31:47🔗 Caller No, she didn't have anything that was visual that I could see.

1:31:51🔗 Drew You just kissed her on the mouth, right?

1:31:53🔗 Adam Yes. So, you still, you're going out with her?

1:31:57🔗 Caller Oh, no.

1:31:58🔗 Adam That's it?

1:31:58🔗 Caller I was drunk.

1:31:59🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, buddy. Good times. Yeah. Good times. We'll take a break. We'll be back. All right.

1:32:10🔗 Caller Well, there it is.

1:32:12🔗 Adam Another episode of Loveline, Deeply in the Ground. I want to thank Alien Ant Farm for coming out here. You guys were great. Thank you. We appreciate you coming by. And the anthology is the name of the CD, www. alienantfarm.com. There you go. If you want more information about the CD or touring or any of that good stuff, look for them on the Warped Tour this summer.

1:32:37🔗 Caller We have a link to www.dryanalrape.com as well.

1:32:41🔗 Caller Right.

1:32:43🔗 Alien Ant Farm Yeah.

1:32:44🔗 Adam Yeah, that's going to be a very hot site. So, Cypress Hill tomorrow night. Until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:52🔗 Caller I don't have a bunch of kids you screw with.

1:32:55🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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