0:55🔗VoiceoverIt is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist.
1:40🔗DrewI had a gas trouble tonight. I took a nap. I'm really way up your scale.
1:44🔗AdamDrew announced he was a little gassy when he came in tonight, which could be bad times for me because I got nothing. I'm going through a real down period rectally.
1:54🔗DrewSorry, I apologize. It can be pretty depressing sometimes.
1:57🔗AdamYeah, it's got me down. I keep my head up. I know there's another fart just around the corner.
2:02🔗DrewThat's my wife reminding me, though, that's not a turn on.
2:11🔗AdamBrad, let's see what we can do about that. Brad? Yeah. You're 19? Yeah. What's up?
2:17🔗CallerUh, not much. I just have some questions. Me and my girlfriend, we know we've been together for a few weeks, and we just recently started having sex, and it's kind of weird because her ex-boyfriend, she tells me, you know, they have sex probably for like three, four minutes at tops, I guess.
3:10🔗CallerYeah, I know that's what's doing it. It's the sexual side effects. But I really don't have a problem with me not getting off because sometimes I will, sometimes I won't, and it's not a big deal to me. But for her, I don't know what the problem is, but we'll have sex probably for about five, 10 minutes, and she'll start to get really dry.
3:31🔗DrewThat's normal, Brad. About 10 minutes is about all most women can take.
3:34🔗AdamWell, that's a little early, but all right. How old is she?
3:38🔗CallerShe is 17. She'll be 18 in a few months. But, see, the reason I had a question was...
3:43🔗AdamSo she is going to be 18 at some point, you're saying?
3:48🔗CallerAnd my ex-girlfriend, before this, you know, we could go for a long time and she would never get dry or anything.
3:57🔗AdamOkay, hold on, hold on. Here's what people have to realize, and here's what happens to guys and to girls. They hook up with someone in high school and they're with them for three years. That becomes the one and only vagina or penis they've ever seen.
4:11🔗AdamThey're all like that way. And then for the rest of their life, they're confused. You know, it's like, well, this one girlfriend, she was, man, she was wet. I mean, she was like a, she had to wring her like a bar rag. I mean, it was water was coming all over, there was fluid down there, and we could go, and she loved it in this position, and she never complained about, and then you get with somebody else and it's a totally different thing. Women vary quite a bit downstairs.
4:39🔗AdamAnd ladies, men do too. Not so much in anatomy, but in time. You got the one boyfriend that goes in two minutes, the next guy over here is, if he goes at all, it's in an hour. Do not be confused by it. Expect it. Right?
4:53🔗DrewI think guys are more confused than the men, than the women, rather.
4:57🔗AdamYeah, but now as you get older and you've been with a few different women, you just sort of realize, or a few different men, hey, this is how it works. I mean as a woman, not as a gay guy. Come on, hey, I slipped up.
5:09🔗DrewI'm just wondering if you were actually dressed as a woman, with a guy as a woman. No.
5:13🔗AdamOkay. So he should get on some what? Wellbutrin or something?
5:17🔗DrewWell, that's an interesting idea is to either change the Paxil to Wellbutrin, Remeron or Sarazon or just add Wellbutrin to the Paxil, and he may shorten his time a little bit.
5:26🔗AdamAll right. As far as she goes, maybe get some lube going, work it out, you just started.
5:31🔗DrewBut for half an hour for a lot of women, for a lot of women, and I dare say most, you can paint, it's out, it's out time.
5:48🔗AdamYeah. And remind me, by the way, please, one more time, Drew, if I forget, to kick the guy in the nuts who decided it was a good idea to put the slash through the zero on the font.
6:01🔗AdamYeah. Because from anything, if you don't have a jeweler's loop and your goddamn face isn't pressed against it, it looks like an eight. Thank you. Go ahead.
6:17🔗CallerI don't think so. Well, this is a question for Dr. Drew. Now, I know you and him will get a bigger kick out of it, but, okay, I've been married 25 years, but I've been with my husband since 15.
6:31🔗DrewWow. Oh, my God. That's got to be some kind of record.
6:43🔗CallerBasically, we've been monogamous since 1976, bicentennial year. Anyway, in the past, like the past year, I know this is gonna sound really odd, but like, you could, we have a pretty active sex life. And like, you know, like you have sex in the night, and then in the morning, when you go in the, you know, you go in the bathroom, whatever, it like smells like really, really bad.
8:57🔗DrewJessica, listen, if you smell things the night of the event, of the sex, there's no smell.
9:06🔗CallerI thought maybe one of the men told the same thing.
9:08🔗DrewListen to me, hey Jessica, Jessica, we're going to hang up on you if you don't listen, okay? The evening you have sex, if you were to smell, there would be no smell, is that correct?
9:41🔗AdamSo it leaks out of you eight hours later?
9:45🔗CallerNot eight hours, probably like four hours later, three hours later. Come on.
9:51🔗AdamAll right. Hey, Jessica. We're going to hang up on you now because we're having difficulty with you. You say you have sex in the night and the next morning.
10:33🔗AdamAll right, all right. All right, all right, I don't got enough time. I just wonder how people get through life. I really do. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, where's the car keys? Where's the car? Like, what about the process?
10:47🔗DrewYeah, where's the car? You just have to think about it. What are you trying, what do you mean?
10:50🔗AdamI mean, what about the process of just say, dropping your car off, getting it repaired, and picking it up? Something like that. Phone calls, scheduling, payment.
11:21🔗CallerWell, I'm 23. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. I totally love him to death and I don't want to have sex anymore. We used to have sex in the first year, but the last year and a half.
11:34🔗DrewYou don't want to or he doesn't want to?
13:58🔗AdamI mean, I really love him. I like that sex. You missed my point. Okay. Listen. Look into the depression. And if you look into that and you start getting that treated and you still ain't into this guy, you ain't into it.
14:13🔗DrewRight. Yeah. It means a lot. It says a lot about how you feel.
14:44🔗CallerWhat's up? Nothing much. I just need a little bit of advice. Well, all right, I've been with my girlfriend for about three years, and I'm starting to have feelings for guys and checking them out. I'm curious, you know?
15:02🔗DrewA little late to be kind of curious, isn't it? Yeah. Were you curious prior to that?
15:06🔗CallerI didn't know it, but I have features that I would... Like at school and stuff, like a long time ago, I like had all girlfriends and like everything like pieced up just like right now. And like, I'm just starting to realize stuff.
15:22🔗DrewAnd do you have anything in your life that might have led to your confusion? Were you sexually abused or anything like that?
15:27🔗CallerWell, my dad wasn't around for a long time.
15:31🔗AdamMan, won't do it for guys. So maybe you were thinking about guys and you didn't know it five years ago.
16:42🔗AdamNo, no. I don't mean half, you know, split down the middle long ways. I mean half, you know. Like, you know, taking a loaf of bread and breaking it in half.
17:00🔗AdamYeah, that's what I do. I start with the half close to the balls, and then eventually, you know, when I think I'm up to it, I work down to the other, the outer half.
17:09🔗DrewDo you have to have a guy that has the front half removed?
17:13🔗AdamAnd, Drew, I don't look at guys as whole penis or half penis. I look at them as individuals. Everyone is different. How dare you, please. Plus, there's personality. Stacey?
17:28🔗CallerI have a couple problems. The first one, well addressed, hopefully. I'm having problems with intimacy with men, and I'm thinking that it's due to something that I caught my last husband doing.
17:51🔗AdamWhat position was he in when he did that? Was he on his back with his legs kicked over?
17:55🔗CallerNo, he just bent right over and got after it. I mean, look, you can flip backwards and do it. If you want, I can prove it. I've got it on videotape. There was, we had a big battle between us.
18:05🔗AdamI'd be very interested in seeing that. Very interested.
18:07🔗CallerI'm not kidding, because you know what? I mean, I felt really betrayed because he didn't have to mess with my head like that.
18:12🔗AdamWas he? Well, hold on a second, Stacey. Was he sitting down or was he standing up?
18:18🔗CallerYeah, sitting on a big plastic dildo and bouncing on it as he's like giving himself head.
18:33🔗CallerHe was really heavily into dope and stuff and people like to use that as a cop out. They like to use it as a cop out that they did this because they were on dope or alcohol or whatever, you know.
19:03🔗AdamOkay, hold on Stacey. I got to reenact this for just a second. Did you come into the room or did you come home early or how did you catch him?
19:14🔗DrewAnd you pulled out a video camera and started filming?
19:16🔗CallerNo, no, no, no, no. This was like several months on down the line, you know, because he wouldn't just leave me alone. He would come to my house and harass me and this and that. So I got to a point where I felt like I had to do something to fight back, right?
19:53🔗AdamHe would leave a trail of breadcrumbs over to the dildo, get him started?
19:57🔗CallerYeah, right. No, I got him a sack of drugs, okay?
20:00🔗AdamI see. And so, when you say he was bouncing up and down on the dildo and blowing himself, which I respect in many ways, I mean, that's a fairly tall order. Yeah. How was the dildo attached to whatever it was attached to?
20:48🔗AdamI would have known this guy was a weirdo if he drove past... If he was going past me the other direction on the 405, at 70, and I was going 90 the other direction.
20:58🔗CallerI don't know. A lot of people that I let... allowed to view it, right? They were pretty surprised.
21:05🔗AdamThat's your worst nightmare, by the way.
21:26🔗CallerThey're frauding Social Security. They make money.
21:29🔗AdamHow did it make its way into his parents' VCR?
21:32🔗CallerHis uncle did it. His uncle took it in there for me.
21:36🔗AdamYou know, we haven't talked about this in a while, Drew, but I like to call an airstrike in. Oh, yeah. Parents are committing welfare fraud. This guy's got a dildo up his ass. The uncle's ran him out.
21:48🔗CallerWell, I think there's a little more skeletons in the closet than that. And maybe, you know, with his family.
23:03🔗DrewSee, that's not recovery, Stacey. You are not anywhere near recovery. Unless you have a long-standing relationship with a sponsor with whom you're working the steps on a daily basis.
23:16🔗AdamAll right. For the sake of your child, please get involved with that. Don't worry about men right now. Worry about your 13-year-old and him not coming out anything like any guy you've ever been with.
23:28🔗Drew85% of addicts, alcoholics are sex addicts, and they do weird ass stuff when they're doing heavier drugs. How else do you get stimulated when you're high on heroin?
23:37🔗AdamAss is the operative word there, Dr. Drew.
23:41🔗AdamShe's calling from Bakersfield, and I got to tell you, don't get me wrong about Bakersfield, but I don't even know if I've been there, but I swear that place got to be some kind of hellhole, some kind of god-awful pit. Maybe it's bad as Sunline.
24:09🔗AdamThat's right, but they were smart enough to get out. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Sean. Sean had unprotected sex with girlfriend, didn't come, wants to know about the morning after pill. Well, after this.
24:46🔗AdamYeah. Just got done explaining to me when I was talking about what a dump the valley was. He grew up in the hoity-toity Pasadena area, so he didn't want to go over there and get his shoes dirty.
25:24🔗CallerAnd so, like, she brought it up. She said, you can just do it and pull out. And I said no at first, but I wanted to see if it would feel better. So I just did it, but I didn't let myself even come close to coming at all.
25:36🔗AdamThat must have been a nice, distracting experience for you.
25:43🔗CallerBut I was wondering what are the risks of like the pre-com and that?
25:48🔗AdamOh, no, idiot, idiot to use the S word on the air.
25:54🔗DrewThere is risk. I would suggest the morning after pill. Suppresses ovulation. Use it within 72 hours. That kind of an experience. Make sure you don't get pregnant. 70% effective.
26:04🔗AdamAnd yeah, don't do that again. And you, I don't know. I was going to ask him if he was a dribbler or not, but I'm scared to talk to him now. Tim?
26:18🔗CallerNot much. Hey, I just had a question. I'm thinking about going to Africa with the joining the Peace Corps and fighting the AIDS campaign with my girlfriends. And I'm wondering what the chances of me being able to contract AIDS just from everyday life.
26:32🔗AdamYou're not going to get, you'll probably get a burning tire put around you, but you won't get AIDS.
26:38🔗CallerWell, I don't know. I mean, it's just, you know, I've heard statistics, you know, where it's like one in nine people, you know, in some of the places where I'd be going.
26:47🔗CallerYeah. I mean, there's no way you could get it from any kind of foods or anything. I mean...
26:50🔗DrewNo, oh man, if you're thinking like that, you shouldn't be going.
26:53🔗CallerYeah. Well, you know, it's just something, you know, you know, it's just something I wanted to have some kind of, you know, closure on. I wanted to know...
26:59🔗DrewBelieve me, they'll have you well prepped before you...
27:35🔗AdamHere's an IV or something. Here's some water.
27:37🔗DrewWhat is exactly you're going to participate in over there?
27:39🔗CallerWell, I guess there's going to be a little bit of everything. I have a lot of contracting skills, so I guess we're going to be like helping build a hospital and do some other stuff like that.
27:51🔗DrewI think you're not going to be working directly even with AIDS patients.
27:54🔗CallerYeah. I mean, I don't know. You know, it's been a few years since high school, so in the health class, so I didn't really understand, you know, I mean, I didn't know from cooked food that somebody could cook some meat or something.
28:06🔗DrewNo, you have sex with these, listen, you have sex, you share a needle, you get AIDS. Okay.
28:10🔗AdamLet's, but you can get other things, so it's good to be careful.
28:14🔗DrewYeah, believe me, I go to Africa, do you know how many other thousands of tropical diseases you can get? I mean, please.
30:13🔗AdamNo, he won't have a special. He's not a real contractor. I mean, he did a little work. He don't know anything. You want to see if he knows something? Yeah. All right. Tim? Oh, Tim hung up.
30:24🔗DrewOh, there he is. There he is. All right.
32:02🔗CallerI have problems starting relationships. I think it's, I've never had a serious relationship. And I don't know if I'm too picky, if I'm justified to feel that way.
32:13🔗DrewWhat would make you justified? What does that mean?
32:15🔗CallerI mean, I don't know. I just always seem to find something wrong with them.
33:19🔗AdamWell, she'll know it when she sees it, right?
33:21🔗DrewWell, I want to hear what it is. It should be articulated.
33:23🔗CallerWhen I find a guy that I can actually talk to on an intellectual level...
33:27🔗DrewWell, you're not going to find that in a club, right? Right. Okay. So why don't you get involved in some projects, community service or something where you can meet people that might have similar...
33:35🔗AdamYeah, go to Africa. Are you in school now?
33:39🔗CallerYeah. I mean, I study abroad. I mean, I go places. I love to travel.
33:53🔗CallerOh, my dad, I mean, he's here and he's just... I think it has to do with the fact that he's just engraved in me that guys have one thing on their mind.
34:01🔗CallerAnd I can't seem to get past that. I just like...
34:03🔗DrewWait, how did he put this? I want to make sure my daughter gets it exactly right.
34:07🔗CallerYeah, okay. I heard you say this the other night that you wanted to engrave this in your daughter without her rebelling, but my dad, he's just... He's always built my self-esteem, you know. He doesn't... He just basically tells me all the time that guys have one thing on their mind.
34:44🔗AdamRarely find this on the show, but she's just full of... Usually it's compensation that the parents withheld love and attention and so on and so forth. Dad abandoned the family or was abusive, and now there's some compensation going on. She's really just built herself up into more than she actually is, and she's having a little difficulty because...
35:04🔗AdamYou know what she's basically doing? It's like when you sell... You have a car that you like a lot, and you think it's a great car, and you go, this car's a classic, man. This thing's a beauty. And you put it in the paper, because I need $30,000, and everyone keeps coming by going, I'll give you $8,500, and you go, how dare you? This is an insult. But after a few times it's in the paper, it's like, that's the price. You got to come on down. I think Madeline is still up there. Madeline?
36:26🔗AdamSee what happens. And, Drew, do you remember? You know what's weird? I haven't had it in a long time. Then maybe it's because I have a TV and a radio show or something and I'm living in some kind of false reality.
36:39🔗AdamYeah. Oh, what was I saying? But do you remember dating girls, especially when you were 20, 21, 22 and they were 19, 20, 21 in that age and you were just sort of getting a lot of them that weren't real satisfied and weren't real happy. They went on a few dates with you but didn't seem like they're crazy about you.
37:01🔗AdamLike I haven't seen that in a while. As women get a little bit older, they get humbled or they act differently or they figure themselves out or something. I don't know what it is. It's a good thing, guys. You can look forward to that one day. But dating 18, 19, 20, 21-year-old girls, especially attractive ones, that's a pain in the ass. You'll get a lot of, I don't know what happened. I was really into them two weeks ago. And then we went out and he started talking about how he didn't like cats and that was it. You know what I'm talking about?
37:36🔗AdamHe didn't open the car door and I don't know, something weird. I just don't know. I didn't know why I don't like him. You know, I mean, they can go at 19. They can go from this dude was in my social studies class. I was checking him out all semester. He finally asked me out. I was on Cloud 9 to like, FET.
37:55🔗AdamYeah. And when you say, what did the guy do? Did he take a swing at you? Did you get drunk? Did you find out he was a racist? I was like, no, I went into his house and it just had that smell. It wasn't bad.
38:10🔗AdamYeah. Now he gives me the creeps. I had sex with him. I'm sorry I did it. Yeah. Guys, that's what you're in for. I say, that's why I only date women in their 30s or in their early, early teens.
38:26🔗AdamYeah, before the ruin. Yeah. Okay. We'll take a little break. We'll be back.
38:40🔗CallerAloha, this is Don Ho, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Art2Doo. Mahalo.
38:51🔗AdamThere's an islander that's no stranger to the herb. Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Drew and I just really had a real, real soul letting out in the bathroom.
39:06🔗AdamYeah. I don't know if it's going to ring true for everybody. But for me and Drew, oh yeah. We just carried on that conversation. We left off with the 19-year-old girls, the 20-year-old girls, the 18-year-old girls, and when you're 18, 19, 20 and you're dating them, how bad it is for you.
39:30🔗AdamHow you have almost no vote, no say, and you're just... And you know, the other thing is, they're not usually that into sex at 18 or 19 either. They're into it, you know, with somebody...
39:48🔗AdamRight. Not your ass, not you. 19-year-old chicks don't like 19-year-old guys much at all. And if you're a 19-year-old guy who's dating a 19-year-old chick, it's like spinning plates. You got to keep moving.
40:06🔗AdamYeah, Drew, this is wrong true to Drew. I said, I remember so many cute girls when I was 20, 21, who are 19 or 20, who I went out with, who I could tell were not much into me, but they went along for the ride anyway. And I likened it to the king, and I was like the court gesture. And I was juggling and spinning plates and doing a little dance and had bells on my hat. And I saw them sort of sitting in the throne, and they were, they seemed mildly amused for a short period of time. But then I saw them sort of yawn and lean back. And they never said it, but the queen grows weary, I think is what would have come out of their mouth.
40:52🔗DrewAnd then you speed up the plates and get over to going again. And now she's a little aggravated with you. She's a little frustrated. It's like, do Jester, vex Jester.
41:27🔗CallerYeah. The hot granddaughter. I just want to let you guys know, man, if it wasn't for your show, I would not be dating her right now. We were having such a great relationship. Her grandfather surprised us. They had to trip for us for four nights and five days to the Bahamas because they're so happy we're going out.
41:45🔗AdamOh my God. Anderson doesn't believe you now.
42:03🔗CallerThey took her to the day. They're so happy because I guess all the guys she went out with killed the same person. I guess they were scumbags or something like that. And they figured out I'm a nice guy or whatever for the work I do.
42:19🔗CallerYeah, she lives with the grandparents. Unfortunately, her mom and dad were divorced and there was a really messy situation and things like that.
42:30🔗AdamIt may be a little blowout on the island.
42:34🔗DrewWell, we'll have fun for those few days.
42:35🔗AdamHave good times, buddy. Ron, his connection was a little bad. He called me three, four weeks ago, told us he was interested in this chick who was a granddaughter of basically sort of some woman he worked on or worked with.
42:53🔗AdamEMT, yeah. And then he asked her out because of the show. Oh, she asked him out. She gave him a flower. She heard the show. And now they're going to Bermuda or somewhere. God bless you. Michael?
43:11🔗CallerNothing much. I got a question for Dr. Drew. I had went to a strip club probably a couple of days ago. And when I was getting a lap dance, the stripper was pretty rough when she was on my lap.
43:32🔗CallerAnd when she was... I didn't even notice until I got home the next day. The top of my shaft, not the head, but the shaft, it was pretty swollen. And right now, it's been probably three days since I've been there. And still, it's a little swollen, but not as much, but it's pretty swollen still.
44:37🔗AdamNo, I'll tell you what. She's the number one Asian big boob queen.
44:41🔗DrewNumber one Asian big boob queen. Poor thing.
44:48🔗AdamNow, there was some controversy. I thought she was number three for a while, but as it turns out, she has the crown. Who is number one? Minka is number one. That's who's number one. Come on, hit it again, Anishinaabemowin, it never gets old.
45:19🔗AdamI swear to Christ. I'd like to make some sort of virtual Minka doll. Just a big, just some box I could climb into and, you know, we take all these sound drops and we just create a virtual Minka. I can't get enough of her. I really can't. And, hey, Drew, she's not interested in money, you know that?
46:21🔗AdamKids can identify with that. Yeah, I could play some air drum to that. All right, let's hop back to the phones. 1-800-LOVE-191. Heather? Hello.
46:36🔗CallerI actually had an embarrassing situation happen. I went to my doctor to get a normal, a gynecological exam. And when I went to him, I was expecting my female doctor was a male doctor. And he went ahead and did the pelvic exam. But at the same time, he informed me he was going to put a finger in both ends at the same time to check for something.
47:00🔗DrewRight. That's a normal part of the pelvic exam.
47:03🔗CallerAnd when he did that afterward, I felt uncomfortable because I didn't realize that at the same time they would put a finger in one end and then the other.
47:12🔗DrewThat you do it where you put the third finger in the anus and the second finger in the vagina and you feel the septum between the two because there can be tumors there. That's part of the pelvic exam.
47:24🔗CallerThe embarrassing thing is that I told my boyfriend and he told his friends and they called it six-packing. So now I have this nickname that I got six-packed by my doctor. And it's totally humiliating.
48:23🔗AdamYes. Now, did he use some lubrication? A little. Yes. Let me tell you something about the finger in my rectum. I need a good week to ten days' notice on that.
48:41🔗AdamI was seeing if you loved me. I have never had a finger in the rectum, by the way. I'm looking forward to that day. I'm sure it's coming soon. But my thing is, I would really need a good heads up on that one. I need you to call my assistant and schedule that one. I couldn't get it while I was up there.
49:01🔗DrewI'm genuinely surprised that Heather's never had that before.
49:05🔗AdamYou know what I'm saying? There would be some things I need to do physically and emotionally to prepare. First off...
49:19🔗AdamI would. I'd get a bottle brush up in there if I thought someone was putting their finger in it.
49:26🔗DrewClams and pasta fazool, you'd be like...
49:28🔗AdamI'd take a nice shower. You'd be feeling up. I'd probably squirt a little Old Spice down there or something. Something just to make the experience a more pleasant one all the way around. Kelly?
51:09🔗AdamI don't know. All right, so you're with this guy. It's been a week and a half. You got to slow down. Immediately start dating somebody else, right?
51:39🔗AdamYeah, didn't have a whole lot going on in his life.
51:43🔗CallerNot particularly. That's why he moved on to the next guy.
51:46🔗AdamThat's right. That's why he hasn't moved on yet.
51:49🔗DrewBy the way, we were talking about being 19, trying to date other 19-year-olds. You won't even get into that league.
51:56🔗AdamYeah. You wouldn't dip down to that. No. A guy with a bunch of roommates and living at home, borrowing his dad's car. No way. You're doing a good job of illustrating your point, Kelly. All right. So now you're with a guy. It's been a week and a half. And what's the deal?
52:18🔗CallerBut my question is, how come? Well, actually not really how come, but what can I do? I'm really uncomfortable with the fact that I can't be by myself. I've tried it and-
52:30🔗DrewWell, where do you think that's coming from?
53:22🔗CallerNo. She was a very, very independent woman. And she had people come get her ready in the morning and put her to bed at night.
53:28🔗DrewThat's incredible. What a great story, though. Was she an inspiration to you or was it, was it?
53:34🔗CallerOh, yeah. She was an incredible woman. She was a pain in the butt, but she was an incredible woman.
53:38🔗DrewWhat was she a pain in the butt? It must be hard to feel guilty, you know, thinking, oh, my mom's such a pain in the ass and she can't move her arms or legs.
53:45🔗CallerShe was just very stubborn and we had nannies when I was little and we went through probably about 15 of them because none of them could stand to be around her, but.
54:16🔗AdamYou know, here's one thing you gotta admit with most lawyers. Not all, but most. They all think they're smarter than you are and they're probably right most of the time or half the time. But I have a few friends that are lawyers and you'll start talking to them about where to eat lunch and next thing you know, it's like they might as well put a powdered wig on. These guys are making a case. It always bothers me.
54:45🔗AdamYou hate lawyers. I like that. I like that. No, but you know, when you see these you know, Johnny Cochran types or maybe even Effie Bailey or half these guys, they're always just self-important, righteous sort of, I would call them pompous asses. I don't pull that one out too much, but a lot of lawyers are very sort of judgmental asses. Wouldn't you say? Maybe it comes from getting a lot of money and being in a position where you sort of affect the outcome of people's lives and things like that. And it's kind of an a-hole job. There's a few of them out there. It's not that being a lawyer makes you an a-hole. It attracts a-holes.
55:30🔗DrewThey're also trained to be very aggressive.
55:33🔗DrewWhen you're aggressive, people don't want you around.
55:34🔗AdamAlright, so she's got a boy. It's been a week and a half. Let's see where it goes. And if it doesn't work out, which I bet it won't, let's see about being on your own for a little while. I mean, you know what you're doing. Just stay with it. Keep thinking about it. Amber?
55:55🔗Adam19 year old girls being on a handful to date. Go ahead, Amber.
56:00🔗CallerWell, I am seven months pregnant and my mom just kind of won't accept the fact that I got pregnant and she doesn't talk to me or when she does, she gets really upset and ignores me.
56:33🔗CallerWell, we were going to be getting married in December.
56:36🔗DrewAnd what happened to him? Is he gone now?
56:38🔗CallerYeah, sometime in September he started a new job and then he kind of met up with one of his old friends from high school and he started drinking, started smoking and started to get in a lot of fights. And I just told him I wasn't going to put up with it. And then about three weeks after that, I found out that I was pregnant and I called him up and he told him and he pretty much said that he didn't believe me and took off basically.
57:08🔗DrewYou can have him take a look. I sent him a picture of how you're looking now. Well, he has a financial responsibility for this child.
57:25🔗CallerOh, I'm just terrified. I'm just still so bad about it. No, but he got in a fight with his ex-wife's brother and he put him in a coma because him and like, I guess a couple of his friends really beat him up. I know he's in like Colorado or Arizona and he's in a coma.
59:14🔗AdamWell, that was a ringing endorsement. You come from white trash, yes? And you are going to continue that rich, rich heritage of white trashdom by having a child out of wedlock with an abusive a-hole guy who's out of the picture. Or, you can sort of break the chain now, give the child up for adoption, do the courageous and noble thing.
59:41🔗DrewTry to help raise the kids that are coming up.
59:43🔗AdamTry to help and educate your younger brothers and sisters so they don't get into this predicament. Get out of the house, get some education, get a job, get married in a few years, start a family in a stable environment. You can really do all that.
59:59🔗CallerYeah, I'm going to school and I'm a self-employed.
1:00:02🔗AdamOkay, but you won't be able to do it all when you have this kid.
1:00:31🔗AdamIt's always funny when they really get the sort of novelty number of kids and can't raise one. Like, well, I can't really raise one. But if I get five, they can start turning in on themselves and raising themselves, can't they?
1:00:44🔗AdamMaybe we'll start some kind of ban like the Cowsills or the King family or something like that. We'll take it on the road, we'll make some money. Dave?
1:01:06🔗CallerWell, I used to always wear condoms, and then I blamed it on that, but one time I had one partner. I'd known her for a long time and everything. We didn't. I didn't have one, and I still didn't finish.
1:01:29🔗DrewGive yourself a couple of days break when you know you're going to have an encounter.
1:01:33🔗AdamNo. He's never had a break-in chick. He's never worked his stuff out with a woman. You understand that concept, Dave? Yeah. You need to get yourself a girlfriend, and you need to get that girlfriend that you fart in front of, that you walk around naked in front of, that you do it in every room in the house with. Do you know what I mean?
1:01:53🔗CallerYou're saying it's like a comfort thing then?
1:01:56🔗AdamI am saying, I'm trying to, I'm trying to liken it to something. I was talking to somebody today at The Man Show about hiring and firing people and that kind of thing. And if you hire an employee and you keep them for a week, and you fire them, and then you hire somebody else, and you keep them for a week, and you fire them, you never make any money, you never learn anything. Just when they're getting trained, just when they're getting settled in, they leave. And businesses lose money that way? Got it. You got to get with somebody, you got to work it out. One night stands, one night stands, one night stands, you'll never work it out that way. Find that one person. Look at it as a sort of a sexual catcher's mitt that you break in and hang on to for years to come.
1:02:48🔗CallerHi. Okay. My question is, well me and my boyfriend have been together for about two years and we're sexually active, I mean very active, we have sex all the time. But we'll go for a period of time but afterwards if I want to go again he can't seem to get it up after he comes the first time. He can never get it up twice.
1:03:12🔗DrewHow much time do you give him between encounters?
1:03:16🔗CallerIt'll take a long time before he can get it up again.
1:04:25🔗DrewAll right. Well, listen, at the rate he's going, you know, an hour refractory period will be normal. So do not expect him to be able to immediately spring to action. That's not realistic.
1:04:36🔗AdamYeah. There's really not a whole lot you can do for them to work.
1:04:39🔗DrewNo. Nothing you can do about that. What you do is have less sexual encounters. Maybe once a week and then he'll be able to go several times or a lot longer.
1:04:50🔗CallerI figured that either it wasn't going to happen or he could like, I don't know, maybe train himself to, I don't know.
1:04:57🔗DrewNo. There's no training. That is a biological event. It's a lockout period and it's called refractory period. When you're locked out, you're locked out.
1:05:06🔗AdamYeah. These, I don't know, a few hours. I could have got it going faster than that.
1:05:12🔗DrewIf you were having sex six times a week, a night? Six times a week, rather?
1:05:57🔗CallerI got a question about a sleeping disorder. Like sometimes it probably happens like three times in a month or so. I'll be laying down about to go to sleep and I won't be asleep yet, so I'm not dreaming. But all of a sudden, like I'll fall into like sort of like a relaxing type sleep or whatever, but I'm still awake and my body would go paralyzed. And then like a warm feeling to run from like my head to my toe. And then once that's done, then I won't be paralyzed anymore.
1:06:23🔗DrewWell, that's basically like a hypnotic state you get into.
1:06:27🔗DrewSometimes these can be seizure experiences. Did you have night terrors when you were a kid? Get up screaming in the middle of the night when you were a kid or anything?
1:06:47🔗DrewI wouldn't think it would be worth looking into just to make sure it's not something unexpected, but it's been there five years, it hasn't gotten worse. It's probably just a normal, well, a not significant abnormality of your sleep.
1:07:01🔗AdamYeah. You know, it's weird. How come, Drew, riddle me this? Sometimes every night for a month, I'll get up and take a leak in the middle of the night.
1:07:15🔗AdamIt's been a month. Go eight hours. No wisdom.
1:07:18🔗DrewTypically, that is as much as anything, your prostate being irritated, excessive masturbation, that sort of thing will irritate the prostate.
1:07:25🔗AdamHow dare you involve my prostate in frequent masturbation in this conversation?
1:07:29🔗DrewAnd your bladder will empty fully. And so you have a little…
1:07:34🔗AdamSo if your prostate gets irritated and swells up…
1:07:38🔗DrewTwo things can happen. It can increase the urge to pee and it can also decrease your ability to empty completely.
1:07:44🔗AdamI'm known for my duration and thickness of stream when urinating.
1:07:54🔗AdamWe're going to take ourselves… Oh. What? My ass. Well, I was in a reclined position for a while. You ever lay way back in a chair and really get yourself kind of get your feet up, kicked up on something or whatever and then you sit up real quick and you get that sharp pain in your coccyx?
1:08:33🔗CallerThis is Loveline. Everybody on the floor, this is Ice-T. You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.
1:09:03🔗AdamYeah. I like to see Ice-T in here. It's been a while. He's a nice guy. Yeah. I just saw him, one of those behind the music song. Very interesting. Oh, boy. Let's see. Four. Four? I don't know why I'm up there anyway. Chris?
1:10:07🔗CallerIf you could blow yourself, would you leave the house?
1:10:10🔗AdamWell, eventually, you'd have to head out and get more paper towels or something, wouldn't you? And eventually, you'd have to... Oh, I bet they mean leave. I think they mean for long periods of time. I just put Chris on hold because he sounded like a pain in the ass. Here's the thing about blowing yourself.
1:10:47🔗AdamNo, it wasn't Italian. It's... If you could get your penis off and have had it in a sort of comfortable fashion, you know, that's one thing. But when you really have to just bend over and essentially sever your spine so you can get to your penis, that's no good.
1:11:03🔗DrewIt depends how long the guy's penis was.
1:11:15🔗CallerGood stuff. All right. I just had a quick question. It might sound kind of odd, but, all right. I've been having, like, wet dreams, like, I'm talking like three, four, sometimes five times a week.
1:12:08🔗CallerNo. I took it when I was like, I don't know, 16 or something like that.
1:12:13🔗AdamThat's interesting. He did kind of find it somewhere in his past. Do you know what you're dreaming about? Are you dreaming about sex?
1:12:23🔗CallerA good majority of the time. Most of the time, I don't really remember.
1:12:25🔗DrewYou're not thinking steroids or any supplements, steroids?
1:12:28🔗CallerI just wake up and it's like, damn it, I have to clean this stuff up.
1:12:31🔗DrewNate, a supplement, steroids, anything like that?
1:12:37🔗CallerWell, not steroids, like, you know, inject, like, try to be a WWF guy or anything, but you know, if I like, if my asthma acts up in a bad way, which hasn't happened in a while.
1:13:08🔗AdamJust like the advice we would give to someone who wet their bed is to make sure they evacuate their bladder before they go to bed. Can you evacuate your balls before you go to bed?
1:14:25🔗AdamYeah. I mean, I can just see it now. It's like she's in the shower. He's watching a rerun of the A-Team. His balls are like going, what's up? What is up with this? His penis is like, shh, shh, relax, relax. I got a plan. What, what, what, what, what? What do you mean?
1:14:44🔗AdamWell, he's riding her like a mechanical bull for an hour and a half. I got nothing. Hey, balls, chill out. I know what I'm doing. You'll see. We'll have our day. Give it about an hour.
1:15:28🔗AdamWell, there's just some easy sack math we can do here, which is you're humping all night and not having an orgasm and then you go to bed without having one and then you have one in your sleep. Now, if you'd gotten off with your girlfriend an hour earlier, you wouldn't be having it. You wouldn't be having it.
1:15:46🔗DrewThe question is why? Are you nervous about your girlfriend?
1:15:50🔗CallerIn what sense? What do you mean by nervous?
1:16:18🔗AdamWell, listen, you're, okay, but you're 20, now all the other 22-year-old guys are listening, like driving off the road right now. I mean, you're 22 years old. You have a long sexual encounter with a young woman. You don't reach orgasm. Then that woman goes home or you go home and it happens. And you don't beat yourself before you go to bed.
1:16:42🔗AdamThat to me is like you may have a tumor or something. I mean, that is, I don't even know what planet you're from. You're from Mork or Ork. Where was Mork from? Ork?
1:17:04🔗CallerWhy should I whack it off when I do it in my sleep?
1:17:07🔗AdamAll right. Well, then spread a gym shirt down or something so you don't ruin everything.
1:17:12🔗DrewDude, you beat off? What a strange wiring. I'm sorry. I know it offends you.
1:17:20🔗AdamI know. I'm just picturing Nate like around the stove, like putting his hand over the flame and then burning it and pulling it back and looking curious for a minute and then putting his hand back over the flame again. Like, I mean, don't reptiles have enough wiring to figure this one out? You calling in why you're having a wet dream?
1:17:42🔗DrewYeah. And then a little incense that you should suggest he masturbate. Like what?
1:17:48🔗AdamOkay. Yeah. Nate, you either have it with her or you have it at your own hands literally before you go to bed.
1:17:53🔗DrewBut why? God does it for me. All right.
1:17:55🔗AdamWell, then don't do it. I wouldn't. I don't know. Five nights a week. What's he need a girlfriend for when he's got a five nights, five nights a week worth of wet dream?
1:18:03🔗DrewSee, I think where your head goes like, look what he's missing. Right?
1:18:26🔗CallerWell, I went home with somebody the other night and that's kind of out of character for me. I kind of let loose with this guy because obviously he was a stranger with like the spanking and like the hair pulling and everything. I felt guilty about it but now we got along really well and like he made a big deal out of like wanting to get my number and stuff and I feel even more guilty now because he hasn't called.
1:18:59🔗DrewHow long ago was it that this happened?
1:20:46🔗CallerWhy does he, like, why do guys make such a big deal out of wanting to get your number and then they don't call?
1:20:52🔗AdamWell, after he just got done banging the bejesus out of you and he's got a mouth full of your hair, he's got to say something. He's not going to say, yeah, he's not going to say have a nice ride home, baby. I'll see you in the next life. Hey, that was great, give me your number.
1:22:07🔗AdamWell, listen, you live by the sword, you die by the sword. I can't help it, but I'm happy this guy doesn't call. Because I know you would have crapped on if he called the next morning.
1:22:37🔗AdamYeah. She really would have hated the guy if he called the next morning. That's what I love. He would have called if he was really into her. He would have called a couple of days. He would have wanted to call the next day or the day after that. He would have sat on it for a little while.
1:22:52🔗DrewBut if he's looking for a service agreement, I'm going to be calling him every week or two.
1:24:09🔗AdamI tell you, they should win. I don't know what you get for scoring porn movies. Is it a Tony or a baloney or spunky or whatever gift they get? They should really, the award should be given to whoever scored taboo too. I'm so Pavlovian too. He just fires a song if I go right into it.
1:24:57🔗CallerWhen I was about 15, 16, I was 300 pounds. Big kid. And I lost about 60 pounds in two months, which isn't real healthy.
1:25:07🔗DrewWow. How'd you do that? Just didn't eat.
1:25:10🔗CallerYeah. It was kind of an awkward situation.
1:25:12🔗AdamBut, hey, let me ask you a quick question, John. Your parents, when they got a kid who's lumbering in at three bills and he's 15, are they trying to cut you off at a certain point or put you on a diet or is mom watching what she's bringing home from the market?
1:25:30🔗CallerMy whole family is big. I mean, no one's like outrageous. I mean, I'm 6'3 right now.
1:25:50🔗AdamI know. I'm always wondering what's going on in the parents' head when the kid's 300 pounds at 15 is going to have a heart attack at 17. It's like you're making the chimichangas.
1:26:03🔗CallerYeah, I'm about 200 pounds. I'm almost 20 years old, but I still have all this skin and all this fat that isn't going anywhere no matter what I do.
1:26:15🔗CallerAnd there's still some fat there. I mean, I think, I mean, I don't, I mean, I work out, I mean, frequently and stuff like that.
1:26:22🔗DrewYeah. Well, frequently people lose a ton of weight, need to see a plastic surgeon or will often see plastic surgeon to get that excess skin taken away.
1:26:29🔗CallerBut is there a way to get to go around that without going to a plastic surgeon?
1:26:34🔗AdamWell, all right, I'm no doctor, but I still contend I'm smarter than Drew. And at 19, you got a little time. I mean, your body was stretched out for a good long time. And it's recently in its new shape. Yeah. And this ain't going to take six or eight weeks. No, I mean, this transformation could take a couple of years. But I would bet, and I don't know if it will completely ever go away without some plastic surgery. But I will bet if you're very disciplined in your diet and you're very disciplined with your exercise and you do a lot of, you know, high repetition stuff and, you know, skipping rope and that kind of stuff and not bulky stuff and you watch your carbohydrates and all that good stuff, that within a year or so, a lot of this is going to go away.
1:27:26🔗AdamAnd then if nothing happens by the time let's say you're 21 or so, then you can go to a plastic surgeon and they can get rid of it. They do this all the time. They enjoy it.
1:27:49🔗CallerBasically me and my wife about four or five months ago started seeing a marriage counselor and a lot of our problems are worked out except for the fact that she has very low libido. I have very high so that was probably our main topic while seeing this therapist. I took a problem that was very small and made it very huge. The therapist called me in by myself which I thought was odd about two days ago and when I went in we which she was basically lying and wait for me.
1:28:36🔗AdamWait a minute. Wait. He reports her. He reports him.
1:28:40🔗CallerShe's too good to report to tell you the truth.
1:28:43🔗DrewWell, you're getting yourself in some very dangerous territory. And this person is dangerous. I would strongly urge you to call the Consumer Affairs. Make it anonymous. You can make it anonymous.
1:29:04🔗CallerYou know, it's just... I'm like looking inside in my coping mechanism and it's telling me just to bolt out of everything. And I... I don't know if I want to do that.
1:29:31🔗AdamAnd a dangerous person. Well, what's she gonna do? F you to death? Listen, you do not want to get... You do not want to get hooked up with this person. This is a handful. Believe you me. I don't care how tantalizing she is. I don't care how pretty the picture is. This is a deeply disturbed, flawed person that you can not spend any real time with.
1:29:52🔗CallerI'm coming to that realization, but what do I say to my wife? I don't want to see this woman no more.
1:29:58🔗DrewI would strongly urge you to call the Department of Consumer Affairs and make an anonymous report.
1:30:02🔗AdamI would. Yeah. I don't know if he's gonna do that.
1:30:06🔗DrewShe may need a dossier built up on her.
1:30:08🔗AdamI might call this therapist and tell her that it's off and that if you get any calls from the wife or whatever, you know what I mean? Unless you want the jig to be up and her license will be revoked, you better tell her to play along.
1:31:03🔗AdamYou're saying just go right in and ask for a BJ?
1:31:05🔗DrewAt least, you know, the therapists are certainly not going to initiate.
1:31:08🔗AdamAll right, I'll do it. But I tell you, if you're yanking my chain, if you're gaslighting me, Drew, I'm going to be mad when I see you on Wednesday. All right? All right. All right, we'll take a break.
1:31:21🔗CallerLove Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.
1:31:25🔗DrewSunday night, we're going to be talking about the morning after panel here on Love Line. We're having someone from Planned Parenthood and someone from the Light of the Right Group. And we're going to finally go at this topic a little bit. It's something that Adam and I feel very strongly about. It's something that can, I think, significantly improve the health of young people if we put the word out there about what it is and how it works in reality. So we'll be talking about that on Sunday night and Esai Morales on Monday and Poe here on Tuesday. Thank you, Anderson. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Sarah and Anne for a good week. And this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.
1:31:59🔗AdamNo, I mean, I really love them. I like that section. You missed my point.
1:32:04🔗CallerThis has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.