Sunday, March 18, 2001

1:01🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline of Adam Corolla. That is Dr.... Wait a minute. Where's Dr. Drew, everybody?

1:19🔗 Drew Right here, Adam.

1:20🔗 Adam Oh, there he is. Where are you?

1:22🔗 Drew Seattle.

1:23🔗 Adam Oh, did we talk about that?

1:25🔗 Drew Oh, yeah, we did. I'm at the Buzz up here. I'll be here just tonight.

1:28🔗 Adam When did we talk about that?

1:31🔗 Drew The night on Wednesday and then again Thursday as I signed off to you.

1:35🔗 Adam You said you're going to go to the old Buzz there?

1:37🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah, Buzzaroo.

1:40🔗 Adam I tune out when you speak, Drew.

1:42🔗 Drew No s.

1:44🔗 Adam I had no idea where you were. I was ready for you to come bounding into the studio any moment now.

1:49🔗 Drew My voice comes through, it's hysterical.

1:51🔗 Adam All right, so you're in Seattle.

1:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:53🔗 Adam Yeah, good times. You're going to be around tomorrow?

1:55🔗 Drew I will be there tomorrow and tonight I'm here in Seattle.

1:58🔗 Adam It's great.

1:58🔗 Drew It's as usual, a raining.

2:00🔗 Adam Right.

2:00🔗 Drew And windy. Yeah, it's beautiful. This town is really, this town is beautiful. Give me a break. Yeah. I was just, to me, I was talking to someone, they were complaining about the weather. I immediately thought of the Los Angeles valleys in the summer.

2:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

2:13🔗 Drew You have no business complaining.

2:15🔗 Adam Yes. Everything is a shade of brown or orange including the people. Yes, it is a nightmare. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight. Also, Aries Spears is supposed to be here from Mad TV. Although, Aries is not here yet, but Christian is here. Speak, lean up into the mic there, Christian.

2:35🔗 How are you doing, Dr. Drew?

2:37🔗 Drew Hey.

2:38🔗 Okay.

2:38🔗 Adam Drew, were you inside a 55-gallon oil drum?

2:43🔗 Drew You heard that too? See, they told me I was just the only one hearing that.

2:46🔗 Adam The echo?

2:47🔗 Drew Nice.

2:48🔗 Adam No, I hear it, but it's not too bad, only when you speak.

2:52🔗 Drew I won't speak loud.

2:53🔗 Adam No, no, I just mean speak, so please try to refrain from talking tonight. MADtv, of course, on Fox, 11 o'clock Saturday nights, and they said it wouldn't last. See, Christian, we've had the cast members throughout the years on the show, and each and every time, and Drew, if I'm wrong, tap your foot once, okay? But each time during the commercial, they would all lean over, and this is starting about five years ago and go, this is about it. Yeah, this is about it. We're all looking for other gigs. I'm trying to get a job back at, I think the ore box is still open in Burbank. I'll see if I can get my gig back there. But everyone just said it's over, and then the next year they would come back and they'd go, during the commercial, go, hey, not for on the air, but off the air, it's over. And then they would do it the next year, and now we're going on five and a half, well, we're going on six years.

3:52🔗 Drew Well, interestingly, it has been over for many of those people that we talked to.

3:56🔗 Adam How dare you, Drew.

3:57🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Everyone except Nicole, right?

3:59🔗 Adam Is Christian's mic potted up there? There you go, Anderson. Good times, buddy.

4:04🔗 Drew Not Christian.

4:06🔗 Adam Well, this is first season, so he'll be gone next year, but this is his year to establish himself, so we miss him. That's the way I look at it, because how can he be gone from something you never did?

4:19🔗 That's true.

4:20🔗 Drew Right.

4:21🔗 Adam No, the same people, Nicole and Deborah, Aries, and a lot of those people have been there for a while.

4:30🔗 Drew Nicole has been there from the beginning, right?

4:31🔗 Adam I think Deborah has been there from the beginning too, right?

4:34🔗 The two that have been there since the first season, yeah.

4:37🔗 Adam And Aries has been around for three or four? Yeah, I think that Aries is in his third or fourth season.

4:41🔗 I'm not sure which one.

4:42🔗 We'd know if he were here.

4:43🔗 Adam All right. Well, maybe when he does show up, we'll question him about that. All right, Drew, you ready to go?

4:48🔗 Drew I am ready.

4:49🔗 Adam Do you have control of the board over there?

4:51🔗 Drew I've got control.

4:53🔗 Hello?

4:53🔗 Adam You're 24. What's up?

4:55🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a question. I don't know if this is normal. I'll go down on my girlfriend and I put my fingers in. And it's only happened a couple of times.

5:06🔗 Adam Is this one of those gold bond commercials?

5:08🔗 Caller Gold bond? No, it don't feel good and stings. It's different.

5:11🔗 Adam I see.

5:12🔗 Caller She's peed on me. Twice. We've had gone all the way a whole bunch of times, but twice she's peed on me.

5:20🔗 Drew You sure it's urine?

5:21🔗 Caller Oh, I'm so sure.

5:22🔗 Adam When you put your fingers in?

5:24🔗 Caller Yes.

5:24🔗 Adam Drew, when I watch a lot of nature films, when animals are attacked, oftentimes they urinate when they're scared.

5:31🔗 Drew Like a skunk?

5:32🔗 Adam As a defense mechanism.

5:34🔗 Caller I'm pretty sure I'm not attacking her.

5:36🔗 Adam I see. Okay.

5:37🔗 Drew She's not trying to repel him.

5:39🔗 Adam And you just got urine on your fingers?

5:41🔗 Caller Oh, no. No, like on the bed. It's happened twice. Once in bed, once on the couch.

5:46🔗 Drew How does she react?

5:48🔗 Caller Well, I usually don't tell her until we're done because I don't want to make her freak out.

5:53🔗 Drew You don't want her to stop, is that what you're saying?

5:54🔗 Caller Yeah, pretty much.

5:56🔗 Drew But does she...

5:56🔗 Caller Afterwards, she's really embarrassed.

5:58🔗 Drew Sure.

5:59🔗 Caller Like, she's right here. I mean, you can talk to her.

6:02🔗 Drew Good idea.

6:02🔗 Caller All right.

6:03🔗 Adam I don't really believe this now.

6:05🔗 Drew Well, we got to know why.

6:06🔗 Caller I don't care if you believe, but it's true. All right. All right.

6:09🔗 Drew Well, it happens.

6:10🔗 Adam I appreciate Dave's bravado, by the way.

6:12🔗 Hello.

6:12🔗 Adam I don't care if you believe it. Hello?

6:15🔗 Yes.

6:15🔗 Adam Is this the urine queen?

6:17🔗 Oh, no.

6:18🔗 Drew Yeah, I guess that's my name.

6:20🔗 Adam What is your name?

6:20🔗 Drew My name is Lindsay. She's pretty spirited about it. It's good. Yeah.

6:23🔗 Well, you know, what happens, happens.

6:25🔗 Adam Okay.

6:26🔗 Drew Well, it's good because a lot of women feel really humiliated when this happens. It's a common thing. It's a common thing both when there's certain kinds of stimulation of difficulty holding the urine and it's common with orgasm. Are you having orgasm?

6:35🔗 Christian DuGuay I don't even know what's happening.

6:36🔗 Drew Do you have orgasm at that point?

6:38🔗 Yeah.

6:39🔗 Christian DuGuay Usually, I'm trying.

6:40🔗 It's happening. I'm about to have it.

6:43🔗 Christian DuGuay When it's getting to where it's at, I'm putting in a lot of effort to do it.

6:46🔗 That's when it happens. Afterwards, he's like, you did this and I've seen him. It is pretty embarrassing at the time.

6:51🔗 Adam Well, you think it's because you're pushing too hard?

6:53🔗 Maybe that's it.

6:54🔗 Adam Sometimes, when I try really hard to fart, I cramp myself.

6:58🔗 Yeah, you leak a little bit, huh?

6:59🔗 Adam Well, it's more than a little bit. I mean, it's cramping myself. But I'm saying I can sympathize.

7:05🔗 Well, good. Thank you.

7:07🔗 Adam Yeah, all right. So maybe don't push so hard. Why don't you just...

7:10🔗 Not push so hard? Okay. All right.

7:12🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, just relax. And if you feel one coming on, let it escape naturally.

7:17🔗 Okay. Yeah, but look, I get this.

7:18🔗 Drew Listen, I'm actually more most concerned with how David's dealing, Dave's dealing with this thing. It sort of makes you, he treats you as though there's something wrong with you.

7:26🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:27🔗 Drew You know what? You should be humiliated for this. It's embarrassing enough.

7:30🔗 Adam She's fine with it, so he should be fine with it.

7:32🔗 Drew Exactly. She's actually being real kind of nice about it, spirited about it because she could say, oh, this is too embarrassing. No more sex. How would he like that?

7:40🔗 Adam I don't know, Drew. Remember, you can only flip those sofa pillows once. Pamela?

7:46🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

7:47🔗 Adam You're 16?

7:48🔗 Caller Yeah. What's up?

7:50🔗 Christian DuGuay My mom's about to come out of the hospital, and she's been in the hospital for a while and everything.

7:55🔗 Caller What's she been in the hospital for?

7:57🔗 Christian DuGuay She has DID. Do you know what that is?

7:59🔗 Drew Pelvic inflammatory disease?

8:00🔗 Christian DuGuay No. It's decision of identity disorder.

8:04🔗 Drew Pam, what? MPD? MPD, okay.

8:09🔗 Christian DuGuay She's about to come out, and I'm six months pregnant, and she doesn't know yet. And I was wondering how I should tell her. You know what I mean? What would be the best way?

8:20🔗 Adam What does she have, Drew, that put her in the hospital?

8:22🔗 Drew Multiple personality.

8:25🔗 Adam Tell the sympathetic person that lurks within her that you're pregnant. Don't tell the cruel, vindictive one.

8:33🔗 Drew Why didn't you tell her while she was still in the hospital?

8:36🔗 Christian DuGuay Because I don't know. I'm kind of scared to tell her.

8:40🔗 Drew Wouldn't it have been smart to do it when she's in a safe environment, when you have the supportive services available? She could help manage her feelings with the professionals around.

8:48🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Drew, people don't want to drop any bombs on people that are already in the hospital.

8:55🔗 Drew If this is just lack of understanding, it's a great way to send somebody back to the hospital. Fast.

9:01🔗 Adam Okay, but I understand Pamela. I mean, Pamela is 16. She's confused. Her mom is out of her mind. She's in a hospital. She doesn't want to go over there and freak her out anymore. I realize the timing isn't great. She may be heading right back to the hospital after that, but I don't want to beat up Pamela too much about it.

9:22🔗 Drew Well, no, I don't want to beat her up. I just want her to understand that a structured environment, a safe environment, professional support is what your mom needs because she may fragment when you tell her this.

9:31🔗 Christian DuGuay Should I tell her like immediately right before she comes home or should I tell her like...

9:36🔗 Drew When is she coming home?

9:37🔗 Christian DuGuay She should be home next Saturday.

9:40🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

9:41🔗 Drew Go to the hospital, talk to the nurses, have someone accompany you into the room when you tell her, let the doctors know that this is what's going to happen and do it before she leaves the hospital. Now, listen, if you should consult with the people that are taking care of her, if they tell you not to do it, don't do it. But talk to, she's in a safe environment, she has a team that understands what's happening with her, you should be consulting with them, you shouldn't wait until she's out and then drop this on her.

10:03🔗 Christian DuGuay Okay.

10:04🔗 Adam All right, hey, Pamela?

10:05🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

10:06🔗 Adam What are you gonna do?

10:08🔗 I'm not really sure.

10:09🔗 Christian DuGuay I've been like, my boyfriend's parents have been really supportive and everything, so. They're gonna like help me.

10:15🔗 Drew Where's your dad?

10:16🔗 Christian DuGuay He's at home, he's like okay, he's a good guy.

10:20🔗 Adam I see. He's just a good guy, does he help you out?

10:23🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah, well, I live with my boyfriend's parents, so.

10:26🔗 Adam Okay, so your dad's a dynamite individual.

10:29🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

10:30🔗 Adam Mom goes into the hospital and dad says move in with the Bo's parents.

10:34🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah, pretty much.

10:35🔗 Adam Yeah. So your dad's an a-hole, right?

10:37🔗 Drew Does he know you're pregnant?

10:39🔗 Christian DuGuay Huh?

10:39🔗 Drew Does he know you're pregnant?

10:40🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah, yeah, he does.

10:42🔗 Adam Your dad does.

10:42🔗 Drew He's okay.

10:43🔗 Adam Yeah, well, what's he care?

10:45🔗 Christian DuGuay He doesn't really.

10:45🔗 Adam Yeah, why should he? It's just that you have a thousand kids, it doesn't matter to him. He's just in some. Where is he? What state is he in?

10:52🔗 Christian DuGuay He's in the same state. He's in Maryland, too.

10:54🔗 Adam Oh, that's nice. How far away is he? It's very refreshing to find a dad in the same state as their child these days. There is usually a forced segregation that went on, but he's in the same state?

11:07🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

11:08🔗 Adam All right. Well, I may have been.

11:10🔗 Christian DuGuay Ten miles away.

11:11🔗 Adam I may have been wrong about him. How often do you see him?

11:14🔗 Christian DuGuay Not very often. Maybe once a month.

11:17🔗 Adam All right.

11:18🔗 Christian DuGuay Okay.

11:19🔗 Adam All right. So Pamela.

11:20🔗 Yeah.

11:21🔗 Adam Tell your mom when she's in, consult with her physicians first and in good times. Right? Yeah. Don't get pregnant again, please.

11:31🔗 Okay.

11:31🔗 Adam You know what it's like? Let me tell you what Pamela's life is like. It's as if we were on the 10 meter platform at the Olympics. Somebody told us, listen, you're going to have to do a double axle with a somersault and you're going to have to nail it and we went and that's her life and then someone went, now you're going to have to do a handcuffed with a sack over your head and we're going to get you drunk. Yeah. You know, it's like that's what her pregnancy is. She's living with her boyfriend's parents, her mom's in the loony bin, her dad's down the road and couldn't give a rat's ass. Now she's pregnant. It's if things were, it is as if the odds weren't stacked high enough against her.

12:16🔗 Drew But as if we couldn't have predicted this. As if we couldn't have predicted this is where she'd go.

12:19🔗 Adam Right.

12:20🔗 Drew Poor thing.

12:23🔗 Adam What do they do for mom in the hospital with that multiple personality?

12:28🔗 Drew Well, I don't know what kind of treatment they're pursuing, but it's mostly about keeping her safe and contained and finding the right medications. They have a reintegration. Some of these people believe in reintegration where they actually put these people through these very intensive therapeutic processes where they have seizures and they go nuts and they take the predominant personality and try to integrate it with the other ones. No one believes that that necessarily works.

12:52🔗 Has it ever?

12:53🔗 Drew Well, some people claim it works. Some people claim it's not the hoax, but it's very complicated. There's even debate about whether MPD exists. I happen to believe it does. But the main treatments are containment and medication, rather than creating evocative kinds of therapies.

13:10🔗 Adam All right. Drew, nobody knows what evocative means, not even you.

13:15🔗 Drew Stimulate, like trying to bring out something, you just better contain it. You don't evoke it, you just contain stuff.

13:21🔗 Adam Yeah, but is evocative connected to evoke?

13:24🔗 Drew Yes.

13:25🔗 Adam Thank you, Jackass. Cindy.

13:27🔗 Hi.

13:27🔗 Adam You're 19.

13:28🔗 Caller Yes.

13:29🔗 Caller What's up?

13:30🔗 Caller I've been living with this guy for probably about six months. And for the last, let's say four, he hasn't been really interested in having sex. And he makes like deals like, well, if I take you out, then we won't have sex for a month.

13:49🔗 Drew What?

13:52🔗 Adam What a strategy.

13:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

13:54🔗 Adam If I buy you that fur coat, you won't blow me, right? I'm going to have my attorney draft something up. I don't trust you.

14:01🔗 Caller What do you say to him when he tries to make those kind of deal with you?

14:04🔗 Caller I mean, I don't take him like seriously. Because the fact is like, if I can provoke him enough, he will have sex with me.

14:13🔗 Adam How do you do that?

14:18🔗 Caller I try to touch him or go down on him. And if I can get that far, it usually.

14:25🔗 Adam I mean, if he'll let you.

14:28🔗 Caller Right, but it's kind of like a struggle. It's kind of like wrestling to get down there.

14:31🔗 Drew Oh my God.

14:33🔗 Adam I have the, oh no, wait a minute, it's exactly the opposite. That's right. I was picturing wrestling, but I was realizing, no, that was me wrestling for the girl's mouth.

14:41🔗 That's right.

14:44🔗 Adam It's true. Like, you know, for me to get a BJ is like when a patient has a seizure, epileptic seizure, and you try to shove your wallet in his mouth so he doesn't swallow the tongue. It's that kind of thing. Is that difficult? Yeah, they're moving around, their eyes are rolled back, their mouth is chomping down, and that's where I try to get my penis in before they stop breathing. You could get hurt doing that. You could, but it's worth it. The one out of every ten times it works. Cindy? Why don't you find yourself a new guy?

15:16🔗 Caller He actually followed me down. I'm going to school in Arizona. I'm from LA and he kept saying, Oh, it's because I'm not happy here, I'm bored here, I'm not going to school.

15:25🔗 Drew He said that?

15:26🔗 Caller Yeah, he's like, we guys are really sensitive about these kinds of things.

15:29🔗 Drew What kind of things?

15:30🔗 Caller Like his environment, like he's not happy with what's going on in his life, so he's not-

15:36🔗 Adam Hold on, what is he, a goddamn panda bear? I mean, his environment is not right, so he's depressed, so he's not gonna have sex? That's ridiculous.

15:46🔗 Drew That's why you guys have more sex.

15:48🔗 Adam Listen, you're in Van Nuys? That place is a dump, right?

15:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:53🔗 Adam I grew up in North Hollywood, which is the dump that is just east of Van Nuys.

15:59🔗 Caller Yeah, I went to high school in North Hollywood.

16:01🔗 Adam Yeah, right? It sucked, right?

16:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:03🔗 Adam Okay, every one of my friends was miserable, depressed, unemployed and uneducated. All they did was screw.

16:11🔗 Drew That was therapy.

16:12🔗 Adam No, it was booze and screw. That's the things they look forward to.

16:16🔗 Drew Nice.

16:17🔗 Adam Yeah, thank you.

16:18🔗 Drew B&S.

16:19🔗 Adam B&S? Get rid of this guy, Cindy. Okay. I don't trust him.

16:23🔗 Drew Well, but I don't know if we can be that clear about it, but there's something very, very wrong with this whole situation. And unless he can sort of get it together for himself, I don't see that the relationship is going to go anywhere.

16:32🔗 Adam No, not at all. Although, why did he follow her to Arizona if he didn't want anything? Have you asked him that? Well, let me ask her. I'll get her back. Cindy, why did he follow you to Arizona if he didn't want any sex?

16:46🔗 Caller He says he loves me, but he just doesn't want to...

16:49🔗 Adam How old is he?

16:51🔗 Caller He's 21.

16:52🔗 Drew Is he doing anything with his life?

16:55🔗 Caller Excuse me?

16:55🔗 Drew Is he doing anything with his life at all?

16:57🔗 Caller He's working.

16:59🔗 Drew As what?

17:00🔗 Caller He's doing retail.

17:02🔗 Adam Okay. All right. Dump him. You go down to that Van Nuys Sherman Oaks Park, you find yourself a drifter better than him. You know the place I'm talking about, right? All right. Where are we going here, Drew?

17:14🔗 Drew One second. My computer just glitched.

17:16🔗 Adam Oh, well, okay.

17:17🔗 Drew Here it is.

17:17🔗 Adam Here we go. Here we go. All right.

17:18🔗 All right.

17:19🔗 Drew Sean.

17:19🔗 Adam Sean.

17:20🔗 How are you doing?

17:21🔗 Adam You're on with Christian DuGuay from MADtv.

17:24🔗 Caller How are you doing, Sean?

17:25🔗 Adam Saturday nights, Fox, of course, 11 o'clock. Sean, what's up?

17:28🔗 Well, okay. Way back when I was a child, my family divorced, and I was told that I shouldn't see my father because he was sexually abusive and physically abusive to my mom, right? And so we left the relationship, and around, see, four years ago, he called and said that he wanted to come back out with us, you know, and wanted to be our father again, and I kind of blew him off. The other thing I heard about him, you know, I thought, you know, he was just full of ass, and so I didn't want to go to him. Well, now, four years later, my brother called him up and actually went over there and said that he was actually completely different from what my mom had said. He was a really nice guy, extremely hospitable, and was really sad that I wasn't there. And so I went over there the next day. We get there, he told me that he had been counting the days that he'd missed me and everything, and everything was just great, you know, he was really glad to see me. And I was handing out money and everything so he could get me to stay there. And then we ended up drinking and smoking some pot, and I was a little worried about that because he seemed like he might have been playing and acting or just trying to cater to be my friend. Now, I'm kind of worried about that.

18:30🔗 Caller He was giving you money?

18:31🔗 Yeah, straight up 40 bucks from him.

18:34🔗 Adam Now is he giving you like 5 bucks for every 15 minutes you hung out or was he just going to give you 40 for the night?

18:39🔗 Well, no, he came when I got there, right? He said, well, you need some spending cash. So we're, what, is 40 bucks enough? And I told him, you know.

18:45🔗 Drew Okay, let's look at just the surface issues here.

18:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:49🔗 Drew One is, listen, serial murders. Ted Bundy was a nice guy.

18:52🔗 Adam He was a great guy by all accounts. Still is. Oh no, wait a minute.

18:56🔗 Drew That's why we allow him to have children. He must procreate.

19:00🔗 Adam Don't get me. Do you guys all... Okay, Drew, see, this is what I get warned about. But do you guys know that Ted Bundy sired a kid while he was in jail? While he was on death row, he knocked up some broad. Did she have the kid? Yep.

19:16🔗 Drew Yep.

19:17🔗 Adam Yep. Ted Bundy, this guy, this animal killed at least 20 college age and younger women who just tortured them and and controlled them. He did these. I mean, the things Ted Bundy did to his victims are, you know, right out of Silence of the Lambs, basically.

19:35🔗 Drew Right.

19:35🔗 Adam And not to middle aged prostitutes. Even then, not a good thing. But it was slightly more forgettable, let's be honest. But we're talking about 13, 14, 15 year old girls, you know, grade school and I mean, junior high and high school, college girls. I mean, this guy was a savage and we let this guy get laid while he was in prison. After he'd F'd, raped, killed, and then F'd again, all of these young women. We let him get laid again in prison. What the F is going on? How does that work? He was in prison and he was on death row for a long time. And he kept getting these stays of execution. And he married some crazy broad and they let her visit and he nailed her while she was visiting him. And she's pregnant. And now there's a 20 year old. 20 years old? Well, this is 1981. Maybe 19 year old doing the pregnancy math there. What are you in the belly for it, Drew? 15 months?

20:42🔗 Drew Whatever.

20:42🔗 Adam Whatever it is. The point is, there's a 19 year old girl running around now who is Ted Bundy's daughter.

20:50🔗 Drew Thank God it's a girl.

20:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Then think about the gene pool. You got Ted Sperm mixed with the egg of the broad, crazy enough to visit him in prison, marry him and have sex with him after he was convicted for all these heinous crimes. Oh, what are we doing as a country? When is it okay to put somebody down? How many people you got to rape and kill and torture?

21:13🔗 Drew Anyway, to get back to the point, Sean, a lot of people that are egregious or awful people are very nice when you first meet them. But let's just look at what your dad is up to. You're 17 years old, he's having you drink and smoke pot with him. He's an awful parent. If nothing else, he's an awful parent. And he's bribing you for a relationship.

21:32🔗 Adam And why would your mom make up stuff like sexual abuse?

21:36🔗 Well, my mom's kind of on another path herself. Our family's not exactly a stable one.

21:40🔗 Drew Well, Sean, let's just think about the kind of person who would she pick to have a relationship with? Think about that.

21:46🔗 Adam Ted Bundy Jr. Right.

21:48🔗 Drew Ted Bundy. There you go.

21:50🔗 Adam But listen, Sean, I understand that. But as screwy as the family is, people don't normally tell their young son that they were sexually abused by this man. I mean, that's not the kind of thing you make up because there's a certain amount of dignity involved with it. You know what I mean? And I know your mom's a piece of work. But I don't trust this guy.

22:13🔗 Yeah, neither would I. I don't know what to think about it, though, because I really want to have a father relationship with them. But I don't know what kind of thing he's looking to get out of it.

22:21🔗 Drew Well, who knows? But it can't be good.

22:24🔗 All right.

22:25🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, just...

22:25🔗 You think I should tell my mom about it? Because she doesn't know that I went there.

22:29🔗 Adam Well, what kind of shape is your mom in?

22:33🔗 Constant fighting with my father. And we're kind of like, well, we got into a huge fight back, a while back, and now she's decided that as soon as I graduate from high school, she's going to kick me out and whether I can pay for an apartment or not.

22:44🔗 Oh, boy.

22:45🔗 What?

22:46🔗 Adam It's too bad you can't get pregnant. You'd be pregnant by now, Sean. Really. You'd have twins.

22:51🔗 Drew But he can get someone pregnant.

22:53🔗 Adam Yes. Okay, Sean, let me give you your objectives in life. A. Don't get anyone pregnant.

23:00🔗 Keep them right.

23:01🔗 Adam B.

23:01🔗 Drew Thank you.

23:02🔗 Adam Limit the amount of gay porn you make. I know you're looking for a quick buck.

23:08🔗 C.

23:09🔗 Adam Right off.

23:10🔗 Drew Oh, too late he said.

23:11🔗 Adam No, he's kidding. Right off that pack of circus freaks you currently know as a family. It's the saddest advice I have to give, but I swear to God, I give it every night and not bad enough. If your family's a mess, write them off. If your mom's out of control, if your stepdad's abusive, if your real dad's giving you a tall boy and some reefer, there's nothing you can do about it. and not paying you by the hour, these people are a mess and they're only going to bring you down further. Just step back, sign off with these people, at least for a few years. You got to get your grades going, you got to go off to college or you got to get a good gig, move out of the house, stick with your friends, get your own life going and then when you have your own life, then you can evaluate what to do with your family. But not when you're living under the roof. Alright, thank you very much. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight. He's from Mad TV, of course on Fox, Saturday Nights. Aries Spears is supposed to be here, but Aries is not here.

24:12🔗 Caller Aries, where are you? Are you listening?

24:14🔗 Adam Well, if he is, he'll be here. And if not, we got Christian. And we'll be back after this.

24:21🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

24:53🔗 Adam Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight. He's from MADtv. He's one of the rookies on the MADtv roster. Of course, Fox on Saturday nights at 11 o'clock. Drew? Okay.

25:11🔗 Drew Yes.

25:11🔗 Adam Yeah, you ready to rock?

25:12🔗 Drew I try not to talk like you instructed me.

25:14🔗 Adam Yeah, you're doing a great job.

25:16🔗 Drew Here's Chris.

25:18🔗 Adam Chris, you're 27.

25:19🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

25:20🔗 Adam What's up?

25:21🔗 Well, hold on one second here.

25:25🔗 Caller I just want to say first of all, Christian, hello.

25:28🔗 Adam What the? Wait a minute, what was he doing? Should I get him again?

25:32🔗 Yeah, I saw him.

25:33🔗 Adam I thought he was like doing a radio show or something.

25:38🔗 Caller Hello?

25:38🔗 Adam Chris, go ahead. I'm sorry.

25:39🔗 Caller Okay. Okay, Drew and Adam, I called probably about three or four years ago. You gave me some great advice, started me on the road to therapy, worked through a bunch of stuff.

25:48🔗 Adam Great.

25:49🔗 Caller Now I'm calling back. Basically, my 27th came out to my parents when I was about 18. They had a really hard time with it, a lot of struggle growing up. They've started to come around the past few years. They're starting to say that they accept me and they love me, etc. I just don't feel anything back toward them. I don't despise them.

26:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

26:11🔗 I feel very neutral toward them.

26:13🔗 Caller That makes sense. I don't know.

26:16🔗 Drew You know, Chris, there's a good book out there now. I was just looking at this evening. It's called Children of the Self-Absorbed. It talks about what it's like to grow up with parents that really don't value your separateness, value who you are as a separate person and your emotional needs, and what it's like to be an adult having been raised in that environment and then what you can do about it. I would suggest you look at that book because it gives you some exercises that will help you deal with your parents.

26:41🔗 Adam There's also one called Look At Me I'm Gay, which wouldn't be a bad title for a book though. Hey Chris, you know our theory about coming out to parents.

26:56🔗 Caller Sure.

26:57🔗 Adam When you're young, did you want to bust their balls a little when you came out to them at 18?

27:03🔗 Caller What does that mean?

27:04🔗 Adam Well, what I mean is a lot of people who call this show, who come out to their parents at a relatively young age, when 18 is relatively young.

27:16🔗 Drew It's usually the 15 year olds though that are asking us.

27:18🔗 Adam All right, this is on the border. They do it because they know it's going to kill their parents. They know their parents are going to hate it and they want to kind of twist a knife in them because they're angry with them.

27:30🔗 Caller Well, let me rephrase that. I didn't come out. I just sort of, it came out.

27:35🔗 They just found out?

27:36🔗 Caller Exactly. We're in the middle of an argument actually.

27:39🔗 Caller So, it's not like I made a conservative effort to...

27:41🔗 Adam And you blew your dad?

27:43🔗 Caller Uh, no.

27:44🔗 Adam No. You're just in the middle of an argument and you just yelled you were gay?

27:48🔗 Caller Um, it was ten years ago.

27:51🔗 Caller Mom and I were arguing.

27:52🔗 Adam Alright. Okay.

27:53🔗 Caller It came up and I didn't deny it finally.

27:55🔗 Adam I see. Okay.

27:56🔗 Caller After doing so for like three years.

27:58🔗 Adam And did it screw... Never blew my dad.

27:59🔗 Caller Thank you.

28:00🔗 Adam Did it screw? Did it screw with your mom? I mean, who...

28:04🔗 Caller Yeah, my mom...

28:05🔗 Caller My mom is a dominant mother, pastor, father thing.

28:08🔗 Adam Aha. Aha. That's what turns you gay.

28:11🔗 Caller I think so. And she had the whole religious stance and the fact that if any of my grandparents found out, it would absolutely kill them. And just a lot of guilt from the get-go.

28:19🔗 Adam Right. Right. Is she Jewish?

28:22🔗 Caller Yeah, no.

28:23🔗 Adam No.

28:23🔗 Caller I'm probably more Jewish than she is by association, but...

28:26🔗 Caller How are they saying it's okay now?

28:27🔗 Adam They're being supportive? What are they saying?

28:30🔗 Well, they're not being...

28:31🔗 Caller Well, comparatively, they're being more supportive. They're just like, you know, you're gay at the end.

28:35🔗 You know, we...

28:36🔗 You don't want to talk about it.

28:37🔗 Adam Exactly. I see.

28:39🔗 Caller And it's...

28:39🔗 Caller You know, and I don't know...

28:41🔗 Caller I still have a lot of stuff going on. Like, there's still a lot of... You know, that 10 years is just still playing in my mind. And I don't... You know, part of me wants to just write it off and start a new chapter and go on.

28:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

28:54🔗 The other half is like, you know, they...

28:56🔗 Caller They really sucked at parenting for about a decade.

28:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

28:59🔗 Caller And I can't let it go that easily.

29:01🔗 Adam Well, let me...

29:02🔗 Drew Don't let it go. It's fine.

29:03🔗 Adam All right. But Drew and Christian, would you agree with me on this, which is you will probably never get the satisfaction you require from your parents.

29:15🔗 Drew Absolutely. And in fact, with this book I recommended, one of the big sort of goals of the book is to help you let go of that fantasy that they'll be the kind of parents you always wanted, because they'll never be. They are who they are.

29:25🔗 Adam You don't want to look at me, I'm gay?

29:27🔗 Drew Yeah, that one.

29:28🔗 Adam The point is, is they ain't going to change a whole lot, and they certainly, sure as hell, ain't going to change the past, and they will never sufficiently apologize for it. Drew, your parents haven't sufficiently apologized for the past, have they? I know mine haven't. I know mine haven't.

29:44🔗 Caller How can they when they really don't know what they did?

29:46🔗 Adam No. They don't know. They don't. Mine will when I'm done building the Nuremberg style set I've been working for. I've been working on this for years. I'm going to put my parents and Drew's parents on trial. It's going to be great. You want to get one of your folks in? I'd love it. I'd love it. Yeah. I've got a couple of extra seats. Put my mom up there. The deal is you have to be okay with this with yourself. Stay with your therapy. Keep doing your work. But don't expect them to change or give you that much satisfaction. It ain't going to happen. Where are we going here, Drew? Your computer down?

30:20🔗 Drew No, it's fine. Going to Jason.

30:22🔗 Adam Jason, you're 19.

30:23🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

30:24🔗 Adam What's up?

30:25🔗 Caller First of all, I like to give Adam mad props. But I am 19 years old and I met this girl at Fever.

30:34🔗 Adam Turn your radio down.

30:36🔗 Caller Yes, can you turn your radio down? I met this girl.

30:39🔗 Adam Yes.

30:40🔗 Caller I had a one-night stand with her. Now I got a powerful discharge when I pee.

30:46🔗 Drew A discharge when you pee or a pain when you pee?

30:49🔗 Caller Like pain. Do you know what that could be from?

30:54🔗 Drew Why don't I buy this? But let's just go on with it. Yeah, that is a sign of a sexually transmitted disease. That is sort of a classic symptom is having a discharge and or pain when you urinate. So you have to see a doctor. And usually when people have one STD, they have others.

31:09🔗 Adam Really?

31:10🔗 Drew So it's, oh yeah. It's sort of often the case that if you get one, you get a couple. At least you're going to get warts at least with whatever you do.

31:19🔗 Adam How dare you agree with that horrible stuff?

31:22🔗 Drew I mean, people who are sexually active and pass diseases around tend to have multiple partners and that tends to be the issue.

31:28🔗 Adam I know a guy who got, and I may screw one of these up, but he got gonorrhea, syphilis, and crabs one night, one chick.

31:38🔗 Drew Nice.

31:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Not a prostitute, nothing like that. Just kind of one night stand. Three things.

31:46🔗 Drew Well, like I said, it's very common. In fact, more than two.

31:49🔗 Adam Hattrick.

31:50🔗 Drew More than two, and it's thought that your HIV risk is really going up.

31:54🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:54🔗 Caller Makes sense.

31:55🔗 Drew Well, you got to really pay attention, and he needs to be treated right away, because this can have lots of complications, and I suggest you get in right away.

32:02🔗 Adam Brian? Brian. Caller goes by the name of Brian. Yes. What's up?

32:09🔗 Hey, guys. First of all, I want to tell you guys, I haven't heard you guys for about 6 months, or 3 months, because you've been off the air here in central California, Modesto, Sacramento. But...

32:21🔗 Adam Oh, I know.

32:22🔗 Okay, you know. Adam.

32:25🔗 Adam Yes?

32:25🔗 Dude, you have some real stories that come straight from Earth. I just can't believe it.

32:31🔗 Adam Well, thanks.

32:33🔗 Drew Straight from Earth, dude.

32:34🔗 Adam All right.

32:35🔗 Caller Straight from Earth to your ears.

32:37🔗 I can't believe you guys answered my call.

32:39🔗 Adam All right. Well, let's get to it, because we're going to hang up on you.

32:41🔗 That's fine. Earlier in the 90s, I got hooked on speed and I started doing speed, and I snorted it, smoked it, shot it, ate it, whatever I had to do. Nowadays, I drink like one or two beers a night, and I was wondering if maybe, I mean, I got a regular job and stuff and I work full-time, but I was just wondering if maybe those one or two beers a night or one beer or whatever are a substitution for the speed.

33:17🔗 Drew So you never got involved in recovery?

33:20🔗 Never once. I just quit cold turkey and ice.

33:22🔗 Drew Well, you're just, it's all the same biology, whether you've selected speed or Valium or marijuana or alcohol, the same part of the brain is being affected, and there will be progressive.

33:34🔗 Adam Drew, as you said that, I was just sitting here thinking, laying here going, you're going like Valium, alcohol, weed, I'm going, yeah.

33:44🔗 Dr. Drew.

33:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Good time.

33:46🔗 Dr. Drew.

33:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:49🔗 If, can you imagine the amount of speed I would do during a day, like $120 worth, $100 worth.

33:55🔗 Drew Yeah, you were able to stop the speed, but you're still smoking pot?

33:58🔗 No, not even.

33:59🔗 Drew And you're just using alcohol, but it will progress. Wait a minute.

34:02🔗 Caller Are you relaxing when you drink?

34:04🔗 Caller I mean, do you need it?

34:05🔗 Adam Have you tried not doing it?

34:07🔗 Well, maybe two or three, two nights a week, maybe I don't drink.

34:11🔗 Drew Are you on other medication? No. Nothing? Nothing at all.

34:14🔗 Adam Brian, how did you get off that much speed?

34:19🔗 Well, you know what happened? I couldn't get any dope from my regular dealer, and I just got pissed off, and I was like, if you've never been addicted to speed, you may not be able to understand it, but I was like looking for dope all over town on a bicycle.

34:34🔗 Adam You did. Yeah.

34:35🔗 Caller Dude, I'm sorry.

34:36🔗 Adam All right. Hey, Brian.

34:38🔗 Yep.

34:39🔗 Adam Uh, here's what I have to say about this. Your one or two beers a night is obviously no big deal, but you're calling this show, and you sound like, you sound in worse shape than one or two beers a night.

34:54🔗 Caller Really?

34:54🔗 Adam There's something going on. So it may be more than one or two beers a night.

34:59🔗 Drew Of course it is. Of course it is more than that. Yeah.

35:02🔗 Adam Yeah. One or two ponycags a night? You're back on the road to addiction.

35:09🔗 Drew Yeah. No, you're there. Listen, if you, if once your brain has been conditioned to a certain level of these chemicals, there is no going back. A switch has been thrown in the brain that once thrown, must be treated, or you will, you will bounce from one chemical to the next, or extreme thrill-seeking behaviors to the next, until treatment is instituted, and it will progress and get worse. There will be mounting consequences with time.

35:34🔗 Adam Drew, are you sure you're not just trying to drum up business for yourself?

35:38🔗 Drew This is categorical truth.

35:40🔗 Adam Well, how are you going to dethrow the switch, so to speak, in treatment?

35:46🔗 Drew That's what the treatment is about. That's the whole deal. I mean, if you look, there's a guy named Alan Lesher, that heads up the National Institute of the Health, and he has this big, if you look on his website, there's a brain with a giant switch in it, and that's where he looks at the great concept for how addiction works. Yeah, that's a draw. Once the switch has been thrown, there's no going back. And he's definitely had it thrown.

36:06🔗 Adam Right. My website has a penis napping.

36:12🔗 Drew Is there a switch on it?

36:13🔗 Adam No, no switch. Just napping. That's my sign.

36:16🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:16🔗 Adam That's the, that's the Corolla crest.

36:20🔗 Caller All right.

36:22🔗 Adam It's a penis on it. Taking a break. We're going to take ourselves a break. Speaking of breaks, Christian DuGuay is here from Mad TV. Fox, 11 o'clock, Saturday nights. Dr. Drew is over there in Seattle thinking about drawings of switches and heads. When we come back, Drew, who are we going to speak to?

36:41🔗 Drew Line five.

36:42🔗 Adam You do it. Do it.

36:44🔗 Drew Okay. He needs a plan so he can break up her parents. She needs a plan. So she can break up her parents who seem to fight non-stop.

36:50🔗 Adam That's horrible.

36:51🔗 Drew What else do we have? There's only one other choice, which is Angela. When she was 14, a friend made her do things to him.

36:58🔗 Adam That's good. All right. We'll talk to Angela after this.

37:02🔗 Caller All right.

37:04🔗 Hello? Is this Loveline?

37:05🔗 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

37:42🔗 Adam Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. Christian DuGuay is here tonight. He is one of the newest cast members of MADtv. Saturday nights at 11 o'clock on Fox, and let's speak to Angela, who's 16. Angela, what's up?

38:05🔗 Christian DuGuay Oh, like two years ago, I met this guy, and I thought he was really nice. I was 14, and he was 13, and I started going out with him, and every time I would see him, I didn't go to the same school with him, so every time I would see him, he would really pressure me into like giving him a head or like doing that kind of stuff, like rent or hand jobs or whatever. And finally, after about four months of going out, he snuck over to my house.

38:35🔗 Adam Snuck over to your house, yeah.

38:37🔗 Christian DuGuay And I wasn't really expecting it, and he kind of just was totally, if you don't have sex with me tonight, I'm going to tell everyone at our high school that you're having sex with me and that you're a slut and all this kind of stuff.

38:53🔗 Adam Ironic, so if you do have sex with him, he won't tell people you're a slut, but if you don't, he will. How does that work, by the way, when you don't go to the same high school? Does he just show up with a bullhorn one day at nutrition? A sign, maybe?

39:07🔗 Drew I had a sandwich board. Yeah.

39:09🔗 Adam Hire a drifter to walk around out front.

39:11🔗 Drew Like that guy, Little Caesar shaking a sign.

39:13🔗 Right.

39:15🔗 Christian DuGuay No, I went to a middle school, and then my mom worked at the high school that I was supposed to go to. So I went to a different high school, so I didn't really know anyone, and everyone from my middle school went to that high school that my mom worked at.

39:28🔗 Adam Which is the one he went to?

39:30🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah. And I go to that high school now.

39:32🔗 Adam I see. So that was his angle.

39:34🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

39:35🔗 Adam Even then, by the way, these... And I know they seem real serious to everyone at the time, because we get a lot of these calls, which is, you know, the uncle gives his nephew a BJ, and he says, if you don't let me give you another one, I'm going to tell your parents. Not a great threat. It seems real at that age. It seems real, I know, but if you really just get some distance from it and do the math, who's really going to get it here? I think the distance is age, though.

40:03🔗 Right.

40:04🔗 Christian DuGuay The problem is that, like, after we did, like, he... Finally, I gave in, because I was really scared.

40:09🔗 Drew Well, but the question is, why were you such a good victim? Why did he know he had a great victim on his hands here?

40:15🔗 Christian DuGuay I don't... You know, that's, like, one thing that I'm really wondering is that, you know, I mean, I have really great parents, you know.

40:21🔗 Adam All right. Where were they at the time?

40:24🔗 Christian DuGuay They were bad. It was in the middle of the night.

40:26🔗 Adam And he just, you know, banged on the window kind of thing?

40:29🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah. It's a one-story house. It's not that hard to get into.

40:32🔗 Adam He's gonna make one hell of an RV salesman one day, just negotiating that through the window on a Tuesday night at 12.30 in the AM, you know? Wow. And so he came in and had sex with you?

40:47🔗 Uh-huh.

40:49🔗 Christian DuGuay And like, and afterwards, it was really kind of scary because I couldn't handle it because sex is a really mature thing. It's for mature adults. And I totally wasn't ready for sex. And after that, I broke up with him and he claimed that he was suicidal and he would sit around and-

41:05🔗 Drew Quite a guy.

41:05🔗 Caller He has got a lot of angles.

41:07🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So, Angel, how is this affecting you now?

41:12🔗 Christian DuGuay I cannot have a relationship with a guy. My longest relationship since then was five days.

41:17🔗 Drew Have you been treated for this? Have you looked into it, perhaps?

41:21🔗 Christian DuGuay No.

41:21🔗 Caller Have you thought about that?

41:23🔗 Christian DuGuay I've been kind of nervous about it.

41:25🔗 Drew Why?

41:25🔗 Christian DuGuay Why?

41:26🔗 Caller Do you want your parents to know?

41:28🔗 Christian DuGuay No. I really don't. Because I'm a third-day student, I'm in all advanced classes.

41:34🔗 Adam Do you feel like you were raped?

41:36🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

41:37🔗 Drew Well, you were. You were, let's face it.

41:39🔗 Adam I mean, there's rape and then what I call rape light. This is rape light.

41:44🔗 Caller Well, but he's coerced and forced.

41:45🔗 Drew It's also a product I think I'm coming out with. Yes.

41:47🔗 Go ahead.

41:49🔗 Drew But I really think you ought to look into getting some treatment for this. It doesn't have to include your family. You just need to go talk to someone and that will be confidentially held between you and the treating person.

41:58🔗 Christian DuGuay But where would I go though? That's the thing is that-

42:01🔗 Drew Are you in school now?

42:03🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah. I'm in school, yeah.

42:06🔗 Caller I'm a sophomore in high school.

42:07🔗 Drew Does the high school have counselors?

42:09🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah. I had talked to the counselor before and things like that.

42:13🔗 Caller You don't trust them.

42:15🔗 Adam Her mom still works there, right?

42:16🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah.

42:17🔗 Adam Yeah. That's a disaster. I would kill myself if my dad worked at my high school.

42:22🔗 Caller I had my mom working at my elementary school. Really? Oh my god. It was horrible. She knew everything.

42:27🔗 Adam That's horrible.

42:29🔗 Christian DuGuay She comes out and finds me and gives me lunch and everything. It's really annoying.

42:33🔗 Caller She wants you to know she's there.

42:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

42:35🔗 Adam All right. Who can she talk to?

42:37🔗 Drew By the way, that's not necessarily great parenting, that level of intrusion. They need you to think about them as perfect parents, but in fact, they may not be so perfect.

42:45🔗 Caller Like my dad.

42:46🔗 Christian DuGuay My dad's really nice. He's the greatest guy in the world, but my mom's really intruding. After swim practice, she'll come over to the pool deck, and she'll make sure that I'm swimming.

42:58🔗 Adam Yeah.

42:59🔗 Drew Have you told her to stop?

43:02🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah, I have, but she still does it.

43:04🔗 Drew That's probably what's happened here. I mean, that's why that guy could take such advantage of it.

43:07🔗 Adam She's going to give you an eating disorder. Do you have an eating disorder?

43:10🔗 Christian DuGuay No.

43:10🔗 Drew Sure.

43:11🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:11🔗 Drew Sure?

43:13🔗 Christian DuGuay I'm pretty sure.

43:14🔗 Adam Keep an eye on that. There's where mom is going.

43:17🔗 Christian DuGuay Well, she's super cautious about what I eat.

43:22🔗 I mean, I'm not overweight.

43:23🔗 Adam No, that's my point. Do you have a brother?

43:25🔗 Christian DuGuay I have two older brothers.

43:26🔗 Adam She's going to turn them gay.

43:28🔗 Christian DuGuay Well, they're already like one's married and one has a girlfriend.

43:31🔗 Adam Aha, beards. Very clever, those two.

43:34🔗 Caller Beards.

43:36🔗 Adam Angela, you got to get yourself, you got to talk to somebody. And I don't know who, Drew, who, if it's outside of school.

43:44🔗 Drew How about you? Do you have a doctor?

43:47🔗 Adam You have a doctor, Angela?

43:48🔗 Christian DuGuay It's a family doctor.

43:50🔗 Drew All right. That person, if he tells anyone about this, is accountable to you and illegal if they share information. You're 16, you're entitled to confidential health care and you've got to make clear to that person you expect it to be confidential and help them refer you to mental health professional. Go from there.

44:06🔗 Adam All right, Lauren. And by the way, these episodes don't have to ruin your life, everybody.

44:12🔗 Drew No, no, especially one like that.

44:13🔗 Adam They ain't great, but that is a two on the Loveline scale of the Krampus scale.

44:18🔗 Drew And by the way, the bigger issue with Angela is her intrusive mom.

44:21🔗 Adam Right. Lauren?

44:23🔗 Oh, hi.

44:24🔗 Adam Hey, you're 30. What's up?

44:26🔗 Caller First I want to say both of you guys love the show and think it's informative.

44:31🔗 Adam Thank you.

44:31🔗 Caller And entertaining. I'm on a speaker phone, which I'm not used to, so this is weird.

44:35🔗 Adam Well, can you pick up the receiver?

44:38🔗 Caller Yeah, but I'm afraid I'll cut it off.

44:40🔗 Adam Just pick it up and put it, just pick it up. Here's where it hangs up.

44:45🔗 Caller OK.

44:46🔗 Adam There you go.

44:46🔗 Caller It works. I'm not into high technology.

44:48🔗 Adam No kidding.

44:49🔗 Drew Thank you. Like a telephone.

44:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

44:51🔗 Caller Anyway.

44:52🔗 Drew Pretty high tech. Don't get carried away on us.

44:55🔗 Adam Don't cut yourself on the side of that soup can and make sure the yarn doesn't get tangled up.

45:00🔗 Caller Strangle yourself with the cord.

45:01🔗 Drew Right.

45:02🔗 Caller Anyway, my question is, I guess it's called a fetish if someone's into, like, when you're making love, they want you to wear leather or they're into, like, you wearing high heels or boots or stuff like that.

45:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

45:18🔗 Drew That would be a fetish.

45:19🔗 Adam Could be.

45:19🔗 Caller So what do you think about that?

45:21🔗 Adam Is this your boyfriend? Yeah.

45:23🔗 Caller Well, I'm in a new relationship and we're, you know, physically intimate. And he, you know, told me that he likes these little boots that I wear and he wanted me to put them on when we make love. And then he also said he wanted me to wear, like, my leather jacket and he liked the way leather felt against his skin. So I didn't know. I haven't done that, but I just don't know is this, like...

45:54🔗 Drew It's actually a good instinct on your part because once you let those floodgates open, it's not going to stop with the leather jacket, I promise.

46:00🔗 Adam Right. It starts with the boots and then you have, like, a mop handle halfway up your rear end and you're wearing, like, a big toucan beak and you're in, like, half a horse's outfit and you got that sandwich board that the drifter was wearing in front of the high school on one. Yeah, it does, they do tend to spin out of control.

46:24🔗 Caller But can't someone be because he, you know, is so normal and...

46:31🔗 Adam He wants to break out a little bit.

46:33🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. I mean, that's why I'm wondering, can't someone be normal and they will have this little side to them?

46:39🔗 Adam Yes. This is all...

46:41🔗 Drew Little.

46:41🔗 Adam This is fine as long as he doesn't just keep going.

46:44🔗 Drew Yeah. And we don't think it's going to stop here. And to have a little bit of expression is one thing, but to have something that's necessary for sexual functioning is a fetish and that is a preoccupation that takes the focus away from the physical encounter, away from the intimacy and on to these inanimate experiences.

47:00🔗 Adam Right.

47:00🔗 Drew And that's not so healthy.

47:01🔗 Adam Right. This should not be the engine that powers the sex. It should be the cruise control or the CD player. It is a nice little perk, a nice option. But if you can't get out of the driveway without it, you've got a problem. There's a good car analogy there, Drew. Thank you. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight.

47:20🔗 Drew You waited 70 minutes for that.

47:21🔗 MADtv.

47:23🔗 Adam I know. He told me what to do with the car. We'll take a break. We'll be back after this.

48:10🔗 Caller It's Loveline.

48:12🔗 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. Dr. Drew is over there, coming to us from Seattle tonight. Christian DuGuay. The Buzz, yes. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight. He's from MADtv, 11 o'clock Saturday nights. Fox, fifth season, sixth season, or going into the sixth season. This is the end of the sixth season. It's come up. Wow. See? And now people aren't talking like it's going to go away. No. Which is the kiss of death.

48:38🔗 Caller Right. Right.

48:39🔗 Adam You see?

48:40🔗 Caller Right.

48:40🔗 Adam So they're talking about how it's not going to be around next year. Okay. Drew, you're back in the studio tomorrow night?

48:46🔗 Drew Absolutely. I am tonight. I'm up in Seattle with the Buzz. And Adam, remember when I told you about the universality of bad coffee at radio stations? I really learned that up here at the Buzz. When I went to get some coffee, I'm in Seattle. I'm in the coffee capital of the country and just crappy, crappy coffee, but they've improved it. They've got those little coffee dispensers. You know, you push the button and it gives you the coffee.

49:06🔗 Adam Right. It spits it out.

49:08🔗 Drew Yeah. It's not bad. The coffee is not bad, but no condom, no cream, no powder, no nothing.

49:14🔗 Adam Oh, true.

49:14🔗 Drew Nothing.

49:15🔗 Adam I told you, you have to pack your non-dairy creamer.

49:19🔗 Drew Oh my God.

49:20🔗 Caller You like non-dairy creamer?

49:22🔗 Drew Anything.

49:23🔗 Adam Drew does. Drew enjoys, and this is only because he has low self-esteem. If you have fresh cream in a ladle over here, and a thing that says whitener on it, not even paint, whitener. Literally coffee whitener, powdered whitener, which comes from like Smart and Final. He will choose that over the cream, won't you, Drew?

49:49🔗 Drew Well, only when I'm on radio, though. I don't feel like I'm broadcasting if I do not have a crappy cup of coffee in my hand.

49:55🔗 Adam But the coffee here is good. No.

49:57🔗 Drew Please.

49:57🔗 Oh, I think it's good, but I'm not a connoisseur.

50:01🔗 Adam Drew would take a swing at you if he was here in the studio. All right, Drew, do you have a call lined up or you just want to complain about coffee all night?

50:07🔗 Drew Oh, no. Yes, I do. I've got Joe here.

50:09🔗 Adam Joe, you're 15. What's up?

50:11🔗 Caller Oh, hey, Adam.

50:11🔗 What's up?

50:12🔗 Caller You rule.

50:13🔗 Adam Well, thank you.

50:14🔗 Yeah.

50:15🔗 Caller Yeah. Whenever I have sex with my girlfriend, she always like, you know, she kind of fakes it.

50:21🔗 Adam Fakes what? The orgasm? Yeah. How do you know?

50:25🔗 Caller Well, she tells me.

50:26🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

50:27🔗 Drew Well, why does she bother faking if she knows that you know that she's faking it?

50:31🔗 Caller Well, it's just, I don't know. She like, she just doesn't seem like.

50:38🔗 Drew Oh, Joe, if you're going to give a bogus call, at least have your story straight.

50:41🔗 Adam Please, please. Jesus Christ. What is this? What is this world coming to? And, you know, Drew, you attacked me for hating teens. But do you see? Do you see my point now? Thank you. Patrick?

50:59🔗 Yeah.

50:59🔗 Adam You're 22. What's up?

51:01🔗 Caller Hey, I just recently graduated from college and I played college football and of course at the level of competition I felt that I needed to use steroids.

51:16🔗 Adam What position did you play?

51:18🔗 Caller A middle linebacker.

51:19🔗 Adam And where did you play?

51:22🔗 Caller Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.

51:24🔗 Adam Oh, really?

51:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:26🔗 Adam I got recruited to play football there when I was in high school.

51:28🔗 Caller Did you?

51:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

51:29🔗 Caller Did you?

51:30🔗 Adam Well, actually, I have good grades. No, Cal Poly Pomona, actually.

51:35🔗 Caller Oh, Cal Poly Pomona.

51:36🔗 Adam But not Cal Poly Slow, as they call it. Why do you guys, you know, you guys still like playing Nebraska once a year?

51:46🔗 Caller No. Central Washington and teams like that.

51:49🔗 Adam But didn't Cal Poly used to play like, you know, Nebraska every once in a while?

51:57🔗 Caller No. Just one double A teams pretty much.

52:01🔗 Adam Who did you guys play that killed you every year?

52:05🔗 Caller Every year, Central Washington.

52:07🔗 Adam No, no. There was a big, there was a big, all right.

52:10🔗 Caller Whatever.

52:11🔗 Adam All right. We'll just keep going. But you're on Cal Poly slow, right?

52:16🔗 Caller Yeah. I recently graduated.

52:18🔗 Adam Okay. So you got on the Jews.

52:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I've noticed some kind of weight loss, of course. I mean, I still hit the gym and I'm still pretty strong. But I've noticed weight loss and actually eating disorder in a sense. I mean, I have to force myself to eat sometimes.

52:40🔗 Caller I mean, I know I'm hungry and it is still on steroids or now off steroids.

52:46🔗 Caller No, I am now off steroids. I use the creatine and the and the Andro six.

52:51🔗 Drew And so you're you were addicted to how your body looked when you're on steroids?

52:55🔗 Caller No, no, no, it was all about the competition.

52:59🔗 Adam And well, what are you doing now that you need your body? Why are you still on creatine?

53:04🔗 Caller I work out. I majored in criminal justice. And I am going into the correctional field.

53:12🔗 Adam All right. But why don't you just lift weights and eat right?

53:16🔗 Caller Well, I mean, I don't feel that I was addicted to steroids. I mean, the only reason at the time that I took them was to compete at the college level.

53:24🔗 Adam I got that.

53:25🔗 Caller I was just wondering about the After Effects. I never had a problem with getting an erection or anything like that. I mean, that was really no problem when I was on steroids. But even now, I don't feel...

53:40🔗 Drew Why are we having this discussion?

53:41🔗 Adam I don't know why we're having this discussion either. And I know you guys played some powerhouse, like Nebraska and got killed every year. Not this season, maybe not last season. I'm talking about like five years ago. It's going to drive me nuts now.

53:56🔗 Drew What is your question, Patrick?

53:58🔗 Caller Well, my question was, I mean, what are the long-term effects? I mean, what am I going to be experiencing?

54:05🔗 Drew How long were you on them?

54:06🔗 Caller About two and a half years.

54:08🔗 Drew All the time? The whole time?

54:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:10🔗 Caller Yeah. All year round.

54:12🔗 Drew Year round.

54:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:13🔗 Drew Well, is there a family history of alcoholism?

54:16🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

54:17🔗 Drew Okay. So, what happens is steroid, you can charge up the reward systems if you have the genetic predispositions for alcoholism just the way you can with other drugs. Steroids could do the same thing as stimulants typically, the same thing as cocaine, same thing as speed. So, that addictive process, that addictive biology is activated by it. So, you may find yourself with momentum towards substances, momentum towards thrill-seeking behaviors, feeling kind of desperate at times to help regulate feelings that you don't seem to be able to regulate without externalizing, without getting things from the outside to make yourself feel better. Now, right now, you're sort of getting into working out excessively and eating strangely, and that may be all part of this, it may be a separate disorder. Be that as it may, this is all stuff that is going to progress and really does need treatment. I would suggest that you do see something about this because it's going to trouble you for quite some time and going to be, in all probability, you will switch over to something else and then not do this in the future.

55:10🔗 Adam All right, let's move ahead in a real, I'm going to get an answer to this Count Polly schedule. Who are we talking to here, Drew?

55:17🔗 Drew I was trying to push up line one. There we go.

55:20🔗 Adam You just did a wonderful job. Drew, you just hung up on her. Oh, she was suicidal? What was her problem, Drew?

55:29🔗 Drew Nice.

55:29🔗 Adam Drew doesn't like to talk to them, to a liability, he says, off the air.

55:33🔗 Drew Addie.

55:34🔗 Adam Addie, you're 16.

55:35🔗 Caller Hi, how are you doing?

55:36🔗 Adam What's up?

55:37🔗 Caller Well, I was talking to my girlfriend tonight, and she said that she was no longer physically attracted to me.

55:44🔗 Adam That's bad times.

55:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:47🔗 Drew Did she say why or what that means or why?

55:50🔗 Caller Well, I'm just wondering like...

55:51🔗 Adam Well, it means we're breaking up.

55:53🔗 Drew Yeah, that's bad.

55:54🔗 Caller Wait one sec, okay?

55:55🔗 Adam Yeah.

55:55🔗 Caller I've been waiting to talk to the radio for like half hour.

55:58🔗 I'm on the radio, okay?

56:01🔗 Drew Oh, dad.

56:02🔗 Caller Okay, bye dad.

56:03🔗 Caller Sorry about that.

56:04🔗 Adam All right.

56:05🔗 Yeah.

56:06🔗 Drew Just one second, remember that call we had that one night when the girl was talking about her proclivity for anal sex?

56:12🔗 Adam Yeah.

56:12🔗 Drew When her mom walked in.

56:13🔗 Adam Right. It was great. It really makes it all worthwhile. One 15-year-old talking about anal sex in front of their parents makes it all worthwhile for me.

56:23🔗 Drew Yeah. Good night mom. I love you. Oh my God.

56:25🔗 Adam Anyway, back to water soluble cornhole lubes. Addie?

56:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:32🔗 Adam When your girlfriend or anybody says they're not physically attracted to you anymore, it really means they're saying we're breaking up.

56:39🔗 Caller Yeah, that's what I thought too, but you seem to talk a lot about how she still wanted to be with me.

56:44🔗 Adam No.

56:45🔗 Caller And then I started thinking about blind people.

56:47🔗 Caller You know how they can't see each other?

56:49🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Hold on. You're going too fast now.

56:52🔗 Drew Oh my God.

56:53🔗 Adam Blind people. Yes. What was the second part?

56:56🔗 Caller Well, they can't see each other.

56:57🔗 Adam Can't see each other.

56:59🔗 Caller I was thinking, there's got to be something else for the physical attraction.

57:02🔗 Adam Right.

57:03🔗 Drew Andy. Quite an insight, Andy. It's shocking. Yes. Yes. You should be a Nobel Prize in the future for you.

57:11🔗 Adam Andy, what junior college will you be attending in the fall? You're not going to try to blind your girlfriend, are you?

57:18🔗 Caller Sounds like a plan. Well, my mom works at one, so I'm thinking...

57:21🔗 Adam At a junior college?

57:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:23🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You're a legacy. You're in for sure. Even though they don't turn anybody away, you're really in. Okay, so I think your girlfriend was breaking up with you. Yeah. And I think the more you talked about it, the more sort of backpedaling and damage control she was doing. But really what that means is we're breaking up.

57:45🔗 Drew Right. You're trying to preserve, trying to save your feelings, salvage your feelings and things. But no.

57:50🔗 Adam Yeah. And you know how people are.

57:51🔗 Caller They break up.

57:52🔗 Adam It's not the best way to break up with someone, though.

57:54🔗 Drew Just break up.

57:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:56🔗 Adam The more you talk, the more they get into that. Oh, no, I still think you're a great guy. And I don't see any reason why we couldn't spend time together. But there's a certain bottom line here, which is she wouldn't have brought that up unless she wanted out. Brian says he has an answer to my Cal Poly San Luis Obispo Nebraska on the schedule assertion. Brian?

58:16🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up?

58:17🔗 Adam What do you know? What do you know about Cal Poly San Luis Obispo?

58:21🔗 Caller It wasn't Cal Poly. It was UOP that used to play Nebraska like a few years ago.

58:27🔗 Adam You're talking about Pacific?

58:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:29🔗 You're talking about the wrong team?

58:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:32🔗 Drew He's talking about a Big Ten or a Pac-10 team or something.

58:34🔗 Adam I'm talking about Cal Poly San Luis Obispo playing.

58:38🔗 Caller But remember like five or six years ago, and UOP would play them to get the big, when they had the football program going. Yeah.

58:45🔗 Adam They had to get their money.

58:47🔗 Caller But hold on a second.

58:49🔗 Caller Who cares?

58:50🔗 Adam That's what I love about this show. Here's what the screen says. Line 2, Brian knows the answer to the college football question, which was Nebraska didn't play the team you said it played, but here's another team they played. Wow, I can sleep tonight knowing that Nebraska had somebody on their schedule. Yes. Yes, they did. And, Lo, line 3 here says they play Oklahoma as well.

59:23🔗 Caller Do you want to talk to them?

59:24🔗 Adam No. No. I just want the answer to what big 8 or big 10 or Pac-10 team that Cal Poly San Luis Obispo would get crushed by year after year.

59:38🔗 Caller You're sure there is one?

59:38🔗 Adam In years past. Yes, I know. Even though I was talking to a guy who played for the team, I still believe in myself. Drew?

59:47🔗 Drew Yeah.

59:48🔗 Adam You got a question?

59:49🔗 Drew You don't want to talk to that guy on three?

59:51🔗 Adam I was making that up.

59:52🔗 Drew Okay. Kim?

59:53🔗 Yes.

59:55🔗 Drew What's going on?

59:55🔗 Nothing much. I'm 20 and I've been sexually active since I was 16 and I've been on Paxil since then, too. I've never really been able to have an orgasm. The only one time I did was during anal sex and that was it.

1:00:10🔗 Drew Were you on Paxil at the time? Yeah.

1:00:13🔗 I've been on it for a really long time and I tried tapering myself off and I know that it can have effects on your sexual libido.

1:00:21🔗 Drew Oh, big time.

1:00:22🔗 Yeah, but I can get aroused but I don't know if it's like a psychological thing too.

1:00:28🔗 Drew No, no. Look, the Paxil suppresses people's ability to have orgasm. You got to talk to your doctor about maybe adding wellbutrin or switching to serosone, something like that or something. Because the Paxil makes it extreme. The fact that you even have libido at all on Paxil is sort of remarkable.

1:00:43🔗 Adam Well, you had one through anal, right?

1:00:46🔗 Yeah. My boyfriend thinks it's really frustrating and so forth and he always teases me. He's like, Oh, maybe I should prescribe you some Viagra. I'm like, shut up.

1:00:57🔗 Drew Leave me alone. Well, that is something that actually some doctors kind of try. They're not going to actually approve for that UCI, particularly not in women, but it's certainly something someone might want to consider. What I usually do is add wellbutrin or switch to serosone wellbutrin. Yeah.

1:01:10🔗 Well, I don't like, because I work in a pharmacy, I don't like being drugged up and for a long time, I tried tapering off Paxil so I could, but I couldn't sleep at night and my anxiety level was just so high.

1:01:22🔗 Drew Well, how did you taper?

1:01:23🔗 I would taper like, I would do like 15 for like two weeks, 10 for two weeks, and then I got down myself to like five for a while, and then I just, I couldn't sleep anymore without some help from like down main.

1:01:36🔗 Drew There is a withdrawal center from Paxil. It's not a dependency, but there's a-

1:01:40🔗 Adam Well, why did you taper off the anus, my question? I mean, there's where the orgasm is.

1:01:47🔗 Well, because there was this one guy who was dating in Boston, and he wanted to try it, and I never did it before, so I said, oh, okay, I'll try it one time, but no, I don't think my boyfriend's really too big on it, and I'm not too big on it, really. I just tried it once, and I thought it was okay. I mean, I had an orgasm, but that was the only time I can recall it.

1:02:08🔗 Adam Well, you're one for one with the anal, that's all. I'm not pushing the anal, you understand. I'm just saying. I think you are. You're one for one. All right, Drew, where are we going now?

1:02:20🔗 Drew We're going over to five.

1:02:21🔗 Adam Jonathan?

1:02:22🔗 Yeah.

1:02:23🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:02:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:24🔗 Adam What's up?

1:02:25🔗 Caller I can get an erection fine, but it's like when me and my girlfriend change positions, like I can lose it in like two seconds flat.

1:02:35🔗 Drew Are you on medication?

1:02:36🔗 Caller No, I'm not on any medication.

1:02:38🔗 Drew Are you real nervous when you're with your girlfriend?

1:02:41🔗 Caller No, not really.

1:02:42🔗 Adam So once your penis hits the open air, it loses the erection?

1:02:47🔗 Caller Yeah, like it just shrinks.

1:02:50🔗 Adam And you can't get it back?

1:02:52🔗 Caller I can get it back, but it just like kills the move.

1:02:55🔗 Adam All right. Well, maybe you shouldn't switch positions.

1:02:59🔗 Caller I don't know. She wants to try different positions all the time.

1:03:02🔗 Drew I see. That's her thing. Yeah, but how long are you guys doing this before you try to switch positions? Is it a long time? You understand what I'm asking, Adam?

1:03:11🔗 Caller Like five minutes into one position.

1:03:13🔗 Drew Five minutes. Okay.

1:03:14🔗 Caller It will switch to a different one.

1:03:16🔗 Adam Yeah. I think if this is going to happen, you're going to have to just spin the position wheel and whatever it lands on, that's the one you ride out for the entirety of that sexual session. Yeah. I mean, also, how long have you been with her?

1:03:33🔗 Caller About three months now.

1:03:36🔗 Adam You can work it out.

1:03:37🔗 Drew Are you using condom?

1:03:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:40🔗 Adam Well, it's tough to get it. Now, what happens when you lose it with the condom? The condom falls off?

1:03:44🔗 Caller No, the condom stays on.

1:03:45🔗 Adam It's like I'm sitting there and just, it's hard to get yourself going with the condom on though, right?

1:03:52🔗 Drew Do you lose it when you put the condom on?

1:03:54🔗 Caller No. Well, yeah, like I can get it rousing and then I'm going to put it on the condom and it starts to go down.

1:03:59🔗 Drew Yeah, I see.

1:04:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:02🔗 Adam He just has, you know, some guys' penises are very particular.

1:04:08🔗 Drew Allergic to condoms?

1:04:09🔗 Adam They're temperamental.

1:04:10🔗 Drew Temperamental penis.

1:04:12🔗 Adam Yeah, they really are. They're sensitive to many things, sound and light and temperature. Subjects, certain subjects? They're like old people. They don't do well. They're too hot.

1:04:25🔗 Caller They're too cold.

1:04:27🔗 Adam They're not hardy penises. I could slam my penis in a cab door and not have any problem with it. I've actually done it a few times. I have a cab door in my bedroom now, Drew.

1:04:38🔗 Drew Just for laughs?

1:04:39🔗 Adam Just to slam my penis in.

1:04:41🔗 Drew Your comment is finally devolved to this point?

1:04:43🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, honey, want to watch you do the cab door trick again? No, not again. Jake, you're 16.

1:04:50🔗 Caller Yeah. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for like a month. I took her home after school one day and I was kissing her and her dad walked out and told me to get my tongue out of his daughter's mouth. Since that day, I've talked to her once, got up in like two weeks ago.

1:05:10🔗 Drew Where were you kissing her? Was it just kissing good night on the doorstep?

1:05:13🔗 Caller No, it was like after school and even good night. It was just like I was just taking her home.

1:05:17🔗 Drew And yeah, we just we were totally making out with her in their kitchen or something.

1:05:21🔗 Caller Oh, I was on her doorstep. Yeah, we were like, yeah, pretty, we were pretty into it, dude. All right.

1:05:26🔗 Drew So dad, that's a little tough for dad to see that first time, you know.

1:05:32🔗 Adam Yeah, Drew has a shotgun filled with rock salt right in the umbrella container, right by the front door.

1:05:39🔗 Drew Listen, I've got it in the umbrella like, you know, the Avengers.

1:05:42🔗 Adam Like the Penguin.

1:05:44🔗 Drew That's right.

1:05:44🔗 Adam Poison gas. That's right.

1:05:46🔗 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:05:47🔗 Adam The Avengers.

1:05:48🔗 Drew I have the doorstop booby-trapped, in fact. The hatchet falls down. No, I can understand how dad can be a little sensitive to that. I think the advice applies here to what we often say to people that are having difficulty with parents, which is spend more time around them, let them get to know you for you.

1:06:04🔗 Adam Well, she hasn't talked to him.

1:06:06🔗 Caller Yeah, like, I can't even talk to her.

1:06:08🔗 Drew Because of dad.

1:06:09🔗 Caller I try to call him. He's like, oh, call back later, and I'll call back later. I mean, he won't let me talk to her.

1:06:14🔗 Adam Do you go to school with her?

1:06:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:17🔗 Adam Yes.

1:06:18🔗 Drew You see her at school?

1:06:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:20🔗 Adam Okay, what happens when you see her at school? Does she talk to you?

1:06:23🔗 Caller Yeah, we talk. Like, at school...

1:06:24🔗 Adam You said you talked to her once in the last two weeks.

1:06:27🔗 Caller Well, I've talked to her in the last two weeks, like, at school, but I mean, like, after school and, like, on the weekends and stuff, I want to go do stuff, and she can't do anything.

1:06:33🔗 Adam Well, that's... This guy's such an idiot. You're going to have to work that out with her. If she's a willing... I mean, she don't sound like she's very much in love with Big Jake over here.

1:06:46🔗 Drew Does she? That's what I think. No.

1:06:48🔗 Adam I mean, we all know from this show where there's a will, there's a way. Especially with teenagers and hormones and sex and all that good stuff. If she was really into this guy, she would figure out a way. Am I right?

1:07:03🔗 Drew They'd be talking.

1:07:05🔗 Adam Yeah. She'd be saying, listen, my dad is going out of town this weekend. My dad goes to work from this hour to that hour. I'm going to tell him Friday night I'm going over to Tammy's house and I'll meet you over at your house. He'd work it out. They'd be making out at school under the bleachers.

1:07:22🔗 Caller What made them think they wouldn't get caught on the doorstep anyway if the dad's home?

1:07:25🔗 Adam Well, I don't even care. I don't care. Drew, do you care?

1:07:30🔗 Drew I care, but we're taking a break.

1:07:31🔗 Adam No, you don't care.

1:07:33🔗 Drew I care.

1:07:33🔗 Adam You care about not having any non-dairy creamer in Seattle. That's what you care about.

1:07:37🔗 Drew By the way, the people here at Dead to Buzz were offended and they were running in here with mini-moves, half and half containers.

1:07:45🔗 Adam Fantastic. All right. When we come back, Drew, who are we going to talk to? The 22-year-old virgin?

1:07:52🔗 Drew Yes.

1:07:53🔗 Adam We are simpatico, brother. He wants to know if this is normal. We'll be back to make fun of John in his unscathed penis after this.

1:08:05🔗 Um, back in a minute.

1:08:37🔗 Caller It's Love Line.

1:08:38🔗 Adam I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there in Seattle.

1:08:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:43🔗 Adam Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight for Mad TV, 11 o'clock, Saturday nights on Fox in its sixth season. Okay. Let's speak to John who's 22, still a virgin. John?

1:09:00🔗 Caller Hey, fellas.

1:09:01🔗 Adam What's happening?

1:09:01🔗 Caller Not much. I guess I want to start by saying that I'm, you know, content with being a 22-year-old virgin. Like, I don't have a problem with it. I guess I'm just looking for, like, a professional opinion.

1:09:15🔗 Drew I have an impression already.

1:09:17🔗 Adam Yes. John, you're fine. Your balls are mad as hell, though. I'd like to talk to them, get the other side of the story. What is your...?

1:09:26🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:09:27🔗 Adam Really?

1:09:28🔗 Drew I just wonder. I'm asking if that's maybe part of the problem here.

1:09:32🔗 Caller I was thinking you guys are going to ask that question. No, I really don't think I am.

1:09:35🔗 Adam I mean, Drew's spidey sense starts tingling once in a while, and he's usually right.

1:09:42🔗 Drew Well, I could be wrong, but I just had to ask that question. Are you attracted to men?

1:09:47🔗 Caller No.

1:09:48🔗 Drew Are you attracted to women?

1:09:49🔗 Caller Yes.

1:09:50🔗 Adam Are you religious? No.

1:09:53🔗 Caller I was waiting for that question too, but no, I'm not.

1:09:55🔗 Adam Does your work involve any kind of writing? I'm going to flip over all the cards with Arlene Francis out here. Christian, you got a guess? You want to keep guessing? Oh, do you want to have sex?

1:10:12🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, okay. You know, I've dated girls or whatever, and I've been physical with girls. I've just never had intercourse, and there's been two chances in the past where I easily could have had sex, but I just decided I didn't think it was right. I figured out what it means.

1:10:29🔗 Drew What do you mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?

1:10:30🔗 Caller Like, just with that particular girl, I didn't want to get that close to her at that time.

1:10:37🔗 Caller All right.

1:10:38🔗 Caller Does that make sense?

1:10:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:10:39🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:10:39🔗 Caller I guess it sounds funny coming from a guy.

1:10:41🔗 Caller No.

1:10:42🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:10:43🔗 Caller But you know what I'm saying? I was just like-

1:10:44🔗 Drew Absolutely.

1:10:45🔗 Caller Yeah. So I just didn't feel comfortable.

1:10:47🔗 Drew Well, maybe you just haven't found the right person yet.

1:10:48🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, yeah, that's what it is. But I mean, I always hear everybody, oh, I lost my virginity, 15, 16, 17. Yeah. I figured, okay, I'm kind of a late bloomer, but I'm 22, I'm almost 23. It's kind of getting late here, isn't it? So is there?

1:11:01🔗 Adam Well, here's the deal. There are, your average guy loses it at, I don't know, 16 and a half.

1:11:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:10🔗 Adam And you're at the high mark. I mean, you're up there.

1:11:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:11:16🔗 Adam But you need a high and you need a low. You just happen to be the high. I mean, you know what I mean? That's why I'm so thankful for those people who get cancer. It's like, well, if a certain percentage of society has to get cancer, thanks for getting it. Now I'm off the hook, right?

1:11:33🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:34🔗 Adam Well, isn't that how it works, Drew? Do the math.

1:11:35🔗 Caller That's how it works. Doing the math.

1:11:37🔗 Adam Well, 10% of guys get laid before the age of 14 and 10% of guys get laid after the age of 20. And then there's the rest of us.

1:11:46🔗 Caller Okay.

1:11:46🔗 Adam You just happen to be up on the top end of that curve.

1:11:49🔗 Caller Okay. So, do you think I have any kind of like attachment thing or?

1:11:54🔗 Adam Well, there's definitely some issues, but if you're not gay and you're good to go, you just have to meet the right person.

1:12:02🔗 Caller Okay.

1:12:03🔗 Adam Do you think you can meet the right person?

1:12:05🔗 Caller See, that's just it. I've never really had a long relationship. Like...

1:12:09🔗 Caller What's the longest?

1:12:10🔗 Caller Um, five weeks maybe, five or six weeks.

1:12:14🔗 Adam What do you do now?

1:12:15🔗 Caller What do I do? I'm a full-time student. All right.

1:12:19🔗 Adam Well, you should be able to meet chicks at school.

1:12:21🔗 Drew Yeah, it is more concerned that you're not having relationships. If that's the issue that you're not able to form a stable intimacy and that's why you can't progress to the point that you're comfortable having sex, it's sort of a more global issue of your relationships. Did you lose somebody when you were young? Did your parent mother die or something?

1:12:38🔗 Caller Lose somebody? Uh, no.

1:12:40🔗 Drew Your relationship with your mom and dad have been stable and they've been okay.

1:12:42🔗 Caller Um, well, no. My mom got divorced when I was like three or four.

1:12:47🔗 Drew And dad?

1:12:48🔗 Caller Dad's been pretty much out of the picture almost a hundred percent. I've been completely raised by my mom almost.

1:12:55🔗 Drew What's she like?

1:12:56🔗 Caller What's my mom like? Um, pretty cool. Um, really, really steady lifestyle, I guess. And what'd you say?

1:13:03🔗 Adam Alright, listen, I don't see a problem here.

1:13:06🔗 Caller Alright.

1:13:06🔗 Adam Just meet somebody and get laid. He's got to start boozing, too. Yeah, he should really start boozing. I don't recommend that to too many people who call the show. Maybe only 35 to 40 percent. He's a guy who's 22, he's a little uptight, he's at college. Go out, crack, you know, go to a keger. Get a few beers in you, and, you know, throw yourself at some chick. Paula?

1:13:28🔗 Drew Yeah?

1:13:29🔗 Adam Well, that's how it works.

1:13:30🔗 Drew Do what everyone does.

1:13:31🔗 Adam Do what everyone does. It's called date rape. Come on. Paula?

1:13:35🔗 Yeah?

1:13:36🔗 Adam You're 17, what's up?

1:13:37🔗 Caller Correct. Um, well, okay, the thing is, is like I've had a lot of sex since I was young, and I just feel that if I have to, if I'm going to be with a guy, that I have to have like sex with him for him to like me more, and for him to want to stay with me.

1:13:52🔗 Drew But that's often the way people think that are sort of sex and love addicted and or sexual compulsive. Women particularly. Men are just sort of get down that arousal path and they just can't get off it. Women tend to be looking for sex and love through sexual contact.

1:14:05🔗 Caller And it's like if I don't, if I'm not like having sex or if I like if a guy, if I'm with a guy and he wants to, he like doesn't want to have sex, I want to have sex with him. And then it like pushes him away because I'm so I want it so bad, I guess.

1:14:18🔗 Adam Well, Paula, has it worked out for you so far?

1:14:21🔗 Caller No, I have no love for guys whatsoever.

1:14:23🔗 Adam Well, there you go.

1:14:25🔗 Caller And it almost makes, you know, I try to stay away from guys and then I want sex. So I have to go to him again.

1:14:34🔗 Drew So were you sexually abused when you were younger?

1:14:36🔗 Caller Yes, I was.

1:14:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:14:37🔗 Adam Well, there you go.

1:14:38🔗 Drew This is that. This is that. This is sexual compulsivity. And unless you're ready to do some treatment with that, you're going to continue on this same sort of treadmill.

1:14:47🔗 Caller See, but the thing is, I've tried to go to counseling for it. And I was in counseling from the age 10 to 13. And I stopped going and then I got into some trouble and I can't talk to people anymore. It makes me so uncomfortable.

1:15:02🔗 Adam Well you're going to have to.

1:15:05🔗 Drew Which is more uncomfortable, the road you're going down with relationships or sitting down and talking to somebody for an hour a week?

1:15:12🔗 Caller It's hard both ways. That's the only thing is I don't know which way I should go to help myself out better.

1:15:19🔗 Drew One has a light at the end of the tunnel. The other is non-ending and actually progressive in a downhill direction. And I understand that it feels bad in both directions. I understand. Or you would do it. People will follow a path of least resistance. It would feel good to go talk to a therapist. Yeah, I'm sure that's what you do. But it's hard work. But it is the only way out.

1:15:38🔗 Caller And it's like if I go tell a therapist that because I have drug problems also. And if I go tell them that, they go and tell my mother that. And then it just starts more problems.

1:15:46🔗 Adam They're not going to tell your mother.

1:15:48🔗 Caller They have.

1:15:49🔗 Caller I had a counselor. I was in jail. And I had a counselor tell my mom absolutely everything I told her.

1:15:54🔗 Adam When you were how old?

1:15:56🔗 Caller I was 17. I just got out of jail. And they told my mom everything. They told my mom I had a cocaine problem. And everything.

1:16:02🔗 Adam While you're in the can, huh?

1:16:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:16:05🔗 Adam Hey, can you do coke when you're in the jail?

1:16:08🔗 Caller No.

1:16:08🔗 Adam No?

1:16:09🔗 Caller No. And see, the thing is, I went to Colorado. And it all happened in Colorado. And they called my mom on the phone to tell her everything.

1:16:16🔗 Adam On the phone?

1:16:16🔗 Caller That I needed to go to rehab.

1:16:17🔗 Caller And that I needed counseling.

1:16:19🔗 Drew It's all true.

1:16:20🔗 Caller Huh?

1:16:21🔗 Drew It's all true.

1:16:23🔗 Adam Hey, Paula.

1:16:24🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:16:24🔗 Adam Do you think you're being framed? Or are you doing a bunch of blow in sleeping with a ton of dudes?

1:16:30🔗 Caller But that's the thing is, when I did blow, is I didn't even sleep with dudes then. That's when I had my, I was with a girl. And that's when I was hanging out with a girl.

1:16:39🔗 Drew Paula, you need to spend a year in a program. Seriously, you need to spend a year in a highly structured, sober living with women only. That's where you need to be right now.

1:16:47🔗 Adam Well, I don't know about women.

1:16:49🔗 No, women only.

1:16:50🔗 Adam Well, I mean, you like women, right? With raccoons only. Do they have an outreach program for raccoons or staffed by raccoons? Paula, you'll have sex with anyone, right?

1:17:02🔗 Caller Not anyone, but...

1:17:03🔗 Adam But any sex?

1:17:04🔗 Yes.

1:17:05🔗 Adam Right, even Drew's sex?

1:17:08🔗 Christian DuGuay What would Drew's sex be?

1:17:09🔗 Adam Well, that's the third one.

1:17:10🔗 Drew Raccoon, raccoon.

1:17:11🔗 Christian DuGuay I don't know about that, no.

1:17:13🔗 Adam That's... All right, Paula, I'm sorry for what was done to you growing up, the molestation, but you are a mess, honey.

1:17:23🔗 Caller I know.

1:17:24🔗 Adam You're not going to make it to 19 at this rate. You have to throw yourself on the mercy of the court, your mom, the counselors, everything, and get yourself some help.

1:17:34🔗 Caller There's only one way out.

1:17:35🔗 Adam That's it.

1:17:36🔗 Drew Yeah, that's the truth.

1:17:38🔗 Adam That's it, Paula.

1:17:39🔗 Drew That is the truth.

1:17:40🔗 Adam I mean, you called the show. This is what we're telling you. This is why, this is why I want the guys to do the molest thing, to be shot. Why? Because they create Paula. And now it's a lifelong, and Paula would have been better off if this guy just cut her leg off.

1:18:00🔗 Drew Yeah, oh, way better off.

1:18:01🔗 Adam Way better off. She'd be fitted with a prosthetic and off to college right now.

1:18:06🔗 Caller Yeah, her problem would be clear.

1:18:09🔗 Adam Yeah, and it wouldn't even be a problem. She'd be walked, she would have learned to use her little prosthetic limb, be wearing slacks, no one would know the difference. She'd be running marathons each year and happy. Now, look at her drugs, you know, her sexual compass is spinning around like it's in the devil's triangle. You gotta get help, Paula. Ashley?

1:18:31🔗 Hi.

1:18:31🔗 Adam You're nineteen, what's going on?

1:18:33🔗 Well, first of all, I just want to say I love you, Dr. Drew, and I wish you weren't married because I think you're so sexy.

1:18:39🔗 Adam He does too.

1:18:39🔗 Drew Oh, Ashley. After, after, after Polly just told me, after Adam just called me, what, sexless or third sex?

1:18:45🔗 No, you're so smart and intelligent and you just, ah, you're just wonderful.

1:18:51🔗 Adam That's all a rant. Wow.

1:18:53🔗 No, I'm serious, I totally adore you.

1:18:55🔗 Drew Thank you.

1:18:56🔗 Anyways, I just bought a vibrator a couple days ago.

1:19:00🔗 Caller Is it shaped like Drew?

1:19:04🔗 Adam You take the glasses off before you put it in you?

1:19:07🔗 He's a setup.

1:19:09🔗 Anyways, I was wondering if vibrators, if you use them too often, do they desensitize you?

1:19:15🔗 Drew They do, but they do, they desensitize you in the short term, but you'll be back.

1:19:21🔗 Adam Drew doesn't even know when he's going number two anymore, he's so desensitized. Yeah, they can scramble your clitoris, sure.

1:19:29🔗 Okay.

1:19:30🔗 Adam You'll get used to it and then, you know, the normal penis is, you know, the one that God intended you to be porked with is not, it's not gonna, it's not gonna rise to the occasion. So, why don't you just use it once in a while, like eight times a week? How often are you on it now?

1:19:50🔗 I've just used it like three times, I just bought it like four days ago.

1:19:55🔗 Drew Yeah, but how long did you use it for?

1:19:58🔗 Oh, well, first couple of times, it was just like for maybe ten minutes, like fifteen, well, you know, I mean, it takes a while to warm up.

1:20:09🔗 Adam Right, all right, are you okay otherwise?

1:20:13🔗 Yeah, I've only had sex a couple of times before and I never had an orgasm, but I don't know, he wasn't, I don't know.

1:20:19🔗 Adam And you have the orgasms with the vibrator?

1:20:21🔗 Close, very close to it.

1:20:23🔗 Adam Very close.

1:20:24🔗 Drew Close to it?

1:20:25🔗 Well.

1:20:26🔗 Adam What's it going to take, baby? I don't know. We gotta rent one of those soil compactors that they, the things that hop around on their feet and run off of Briggs and Stratton three horsepower.

1:20:39🔗 Well, I don't know, once I got really close to where I felt like I was about to and then I just kind of stopped after a little bit.

1:20:46🔗 Drew That is a uniquely female experience.

1:20:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:48🔗 Drew When you say, Adam.

1:20:50🔗 Adam Yes. Yes. I pushed through. It's right. You women, you have no discipline. This is why you don't make good football players. Thank you for bringing that up, Drew.

1:20:59🔗 Drew It's that almost thing.

1:20:59🔗 Adam This is why we're better soldiers and better football players and triathletes because we break through. Because we keep pushing. Yeah, oh sure. I've had it happen to me a million times. Calf cramps, low on fluid, drunk as hell. Don't think I'm gonna get one off that night. Still happened. Never say quit though. Never say die. I just hummed the theme from Rocky.

1:21:25🔗 Caller That put you through?

1:21:26🔗 Adam I spread that tube sock out. Actually, I'll use two of them in a sort of train track pattern across my balance. And just go to town.

1:21:35🔗 Drew That's your inspiration.

1:21:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I am. Thank you. Millions of young Americans.

1:21:40🔗 Drew I thought you always filled the tube socks. I didn't know you filled the tube socks.

1:21:44🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah. Interesting. That's probably a better way to approach it.

1:21:51🔗 Drew You've been using a tube sock for 30 years and it never occurred to you.

1:21:54🔗 Adam Well, it's always a new tube sock, though, you understand.

1:21:56🔗 Drew I see. I understand.

1:21:58🔗 Adam Lindsay?

1:21:59🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:21:59🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:22:00🔗 Caller What's up?

1:22:01🔗 Drew That voice.

1:22:02🔗 Adam You got that girl voice.

1:22:03🔗 Caller I do.

1:22:05🔗 Adam That's trouble.

1:22:06🔗 Caller No, I wasn't molested or anything.

1:22:09🔗 Adam What's up?

1:22:10🔗 Caller I've been listening to you guys for so long. You guys are rad. I have a few things to say. Actually, one question. I heard from a friend that if he... Because I've been going out with my boyfriend for a while, and I... We didn't use a condom one time, and he pulled out before he ejaculated, and she was saying that's like pre-ejaculation.

1:22:34🔗 Drew Yes.

1:22:34🔗 Christian DuGuay And I'm just like, keeping feet.

1:22:36🔗 Caller Then I come, and it's like...

1:22:38🔗 Drew It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Somebody, if a partner puts his penis in you, you can get pregnant. Period. And that's when you should use a morning after pill. That is one of the things that is designed for you. You understand what the morning after pill is?

1:22:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, especially if he's a leaker.

1:22:54🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, even non-leakers can leak enough to cause problems.

1:22:58🔗 Adam Not me. I'm no leaker, Drew.

1:23:01🔗 Drew I know you have tight gaskets.

1:23:03🔗 Adam Very tight. Very tight seals and O-rings.

1:23:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:07🔗 Adam Is your boyfriend a leaker?

1:23:10🔗 Caller I don't think so.

1:23:12🔗 Adam Well, I mean, you ever, you get moral sex?

1:23:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:15🔗 Adam You ever get a little taste of the semen while you're down there?

1:23:18🔗 Caller No.

1:23:19🔗 Adam No.

1:23:20🔗 Caller No? I don't think he is. I'm just like worried when she told me that. But okay, so yeah, I need to go like, I want to go to Planned Parenthood sometime this week and get on something.

1:23:34🔗 Drew Good. But when did this happen that he pulled out?

1:23:36🔗 Caller This was just Thursday.

1:23:39🔗 Drew Thursday. So it's a little bit late to take the morning after pill. So okay, we'll get in there, get on some real contraception. Okay?

1:23:44🔗 Caller Okay. And also one more thing. Dude, every time I listen, I'm like always waiting for you guys to have Dave Matthews along.

1:23:52🔗 Caller What's up with that?

1:23:53🔗 Adam Yeah, where is Dave Matthews?

1:23:55🔗 Caller I'm going to his show in May. I'm like stoked on that. You guys should have him on.

1:24:00🔗 Adam Okay. For you?

1:24:02🔗 Yeah, just for me.

1:24:03🔗 Adam Well, have him in. Well, have him in. Christian, you guys get out. We're going to bring Dave in for the last 15 minutes of the show. Is that cool?

1:24:09🔗 Yeah.

1:24:10🔗 Caller All right.

1:24:12🔗 Adam And begin thawing Dave Matthews. We have him suspended in animation in Lakers' office. We'll be bringing him in. Actually, producer Anne has worked on Dave Matthews a few times. Have you not, producer Anne? And there's some story with him?

1:24:31🔗 Caller Yeah, I've been working on him for a couple of years now. And basically, I'm not really getting a good answer.

1:24:36🔗 Just no.

1:24:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:38🔗 Adam I wonder, does he have, is there some part of his sexuality that he'd like to keep under wraps or something?

1:24:45🔗 Caller Is there an issue with that?

1:24:46🔗 Every interview I read of his, he'd be amazing on the show.

1:24:50🔗 Adam Right.

1:24:51🔗 And just, they just say no.

1:24:54🔗 Adam Is he gay?

1:24:55🔗 Caller He's bisexual.

1:24:57🔗 Adam Is he bisexual? He's something. Isn't he something? Isn't that the story with Dave Matthews?

1:25:04🔗 Caller Anne, you're saying no?

1:25:05🔗 Adam I'm asking producer Anne. You never heard anything like that?

1:25:09🔗 Caller No.

1:25:09🔗 Adam No? Straight as an arrow?

1:25:11🔗 Caller That's what I've heard.

1:25:12🔗 Adam Oh, no, no. I've heard things. Not that it makes a difference. I mean, we can make fun of him. I've heard stories. You hear anything? Anderson, you know anything? Oh, she? Anderson, you heard he was bi? Nothing.

1:25:27🔗 Caller All right.

1:25:28🔗 Adam I thought that was sort of common knowledge. Maybe I'm just making that up.

1:25:31🔗 Caller Like you thought he was bi too, right?

1:25:34🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:25:35🔗 Caller Not from reliable sources.

1:25:37🔗 Adam But I mean, I just thought it was sort of like a lot of stories like like like like a given.

1:25:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:41🔗 Adam Like, you know, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo playing Nebraska every year.

1:25:45🔗 Caller That is a given.

1:25:46🔗 Drew Nebraska.

1:25:47🔗 Adam Got to get to the bottom of that. Oh wait, we got to take a break.

1:25:49🔗 Drew We got it.

1:25:50🔗 Adam Shana? Yeah. You're 20? Yeah. You're graffiti artist?

1:25:54🔗 Caller I'm not. My boyfriend is.

1:25:55🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Okay. That's it. And you have a question about his health?

1:25:59🔗 Caller Yeah, kind of.

1:26:00🔗 Adam Hold on.

1:26:00🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:26:01🔗 Adam We'll get to the bottom of this. And find out about this graffiti, so-called graffiti art. We'll take a little break. We'll be back with Shana and her boyfriend after this.

1:26:12🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

1:26:47🔗 Adam With Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That's Dr. Drew over there. Christian DuGuay is our guest tonight for Mad TV.

1:26:55🔗 Caller Hello.

1:26:55🔗 Adam Sixth big season, Fox, Saturday nights, 11 o'clock. And we'll get back with Shana. Shana?

1:27:02🔗 Caller Yes?

1:27:03🔗 Adam Boyfriend's a graffiti artist.

1:27:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:06🔗 Adam How does that work?

1:27:08🔗 Caller Well, first of all, like, first of all, I don't know. We've been together for five years, and Hugh's been doing graffiti for about double that before. You know, he's been doing that for about ten years, I guess, and he does it like three times a week, maybe at the most, you know.

1:27:23🔗 Adam Where does he do it?

1:27:25🔗 Caller It depends. Usually, like, usually he'll go out at night and just paint wherever, you know, big, nice pieces. He's a tattoo artist now, but he's bumped off just from the graffiti, you know.

1:27:36🔗 Adam And do people leave him alone if he's doing artistic stuff?

1:27:41🔗 Caller San Francisco is pretty laid back as far as the police force is concerned. They usually let him go, you know, maybe write you a ticket or something like that. It depends, you know.

1:27:52🔗 Adam Right.

1:27:53🔗 Caller But, I don't know, he usually wears a respirator, but for like five years, you know, he probably didn't wear a respirator in the very beginning. And that's when he was a lot younger. He's 25 now and he has slight asthma and it's probably because of that. But we used to smoke a lot too. So I don't know. It's probably, you know, from now on.

1:28:10🔗 Drew What is your question, actually?

1:28:11🔗 Caller Well, I just want to know like what X-Lean and it says danger, avoid contact, things like that on the back of the can. And I'm wondering what that can, you know, permanently do or damage.

1:28:21🔗 Drew Well, mostly it's the inhaled hydrocarbon that can damage the frontal lobe of the brain.

1:28:28🔗 Adam It's not the lungs as much as it is the brain?

1:28:31🔗 Drew The lung can be an issue and the continued irritation can cause chronic bronchitis and be smoking on top of that. Clearly this can be an issue. But the things people worry about is the inhaled hydrocarbons effect on the brain.

1:28:42🔗 Adam OK. Well, he's a tattoo artist and a graffiti artist in a way. He doesn't need his brain.

1:28:47🔗 Drew There you go.

1:28:49🔗 Adam Really?

1:28:50🔗 Drew Good times.

1:28:50🔗 Adam Yeah, good times. Well, is there any test he should take?

1:28:54🔗 Drew Like he should have? He should be seen by a doctor because think about asthma and airway problems as it can lead to emphysema if it isn't properly controlled. So it is important to get looked at.

1:29:04🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Sarah, who's 19. Sarah?

1:29:07🔗 Caller Hi. Hey.

1:29:09🔗 Christian DuGuay I just wanted to know that how do you tell someone that you've been with for like two years that you're going away to college? He's really a clingy person and he seems to be kind of obsessed with me.

1:29:25🔗 Adam Chicks love clingy, by the way, make a note of that. All you young guys who listen to the show, write that down right on the inside of your palm. Be needy. They love clingy.

1:29:37🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah, that's what attracted me to him.

1:29:39🔗 Drew Oh, she's being besieged, Sarah.

1:29:42🔗 Christian DuGuay That seems to be the relationship I end up in.

1:29:44🔗 Adam All right. Well, you're going away to college. Should tell him that.

1:29:48🔗 Christian DuGuay Well, I have told him and he said basically that if I go, then we're over.

1:29:53🔗 Adam Well, okay.

1:29:53🔗 Drew So that's it. You kind of want it to be over, don't you?

1:29:57🔗 Christian DuGuay No, and yes.

1:30:00🔗 Drew Yes.

1:30:00🔗 Adam What's the no part?

1:30:03🔗 Drew You just don't want to deal with the pain of the ending.

1:30:04🔗 Christian DuGuay Yeah, he's just really, I'm afraid of actually hurting him. I mean, I'm really afraid of hurting him.

1:30:10🔗 Adam Here's the way you have to do this. You can do it in two parts or three parts. Go away to college, promise you'll keep things up and keep things going. Then you go away, you call a few times, you send a few letters, but they become less and less frequent. Then you meet somebody, then it's over. But at least it's sort of broken off into two or three parts. You break up on the installment plan. It's not one big balloon payment right at the top.

1:30:39🔗 Drew She's away at college. It will come to bear.

1:30:42🔗 Adam Kathleen?

1:30:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:43🔗 Adam You're 25?

1:30:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:45🔗 Adam What's up?

1:30:46🔗 Caller Oh, God.

1:30:47🔗 Caller I think that I took the wrong prescription drug last night together.

1:30:53🔗 Drew What did you take?

1:30:56🔗 Caller Zoloft.

1:30:57🔗 Caller I took like a muscle relaxer. And on top of that, I've been taking antibiotics.

1:31:04🔗 Drew What was muscle relaxer?

1:31:06🔗 Adam Well, we only have a couple minutes. So why don't we do this a more efficient way? Tell us what you didn't take.

1:31:14🔗 Caller I wasn't taking anything like Ecstasy or anything like that.

1:31:16🔗 Adam I see.

1:31:17🔗 Drew So we'll check that off.

1:31:18🔗 Caller It was just a muscle relaxer.

1:31:20🔗 Drew What was the muscle relaxer?

1:31:22🔗 Caller I don't know. My friend just gave it to me last night.

1:31:25🔗 Drew Who knows what that was?

1:31:26🔗 Adam Okay. How are you feeling today?

1:31:29🔗 Caller I'm feeling really tweaked out. Like I just did a bunch of speed or something.

1:31:32🔗 Adam Okay. Good times. You'll be fine.

1:31:35🔗 Caller Because my eyes keep on dilating, undilating, dilating and undilating.

1:31:40🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. What should she do, Drew?

1:31:44🔗 Caller I've been trying to like drink tea, drink water.

1:31:46🔗 Drew You need to find out what you took.

1:31:48🔗 Adam Why don't you ask your friend what you took?

1:31:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:51🔗 Adam But meanwhile, Drew, can she just hydrate herself and take a nap?

1:31:57🔗 Drew I would call a doctor prescribing the Zoloft for sure. For sure. Okay? Yeah.

1:32:03🔗 Adam What can happen to her now, Drew?

1:32:05🔗 Drew Well, it depends. There's something called the serotonin excess syndrome you can take from Zoloft that actually can kill you. Usually, it's while you're under the influence of these various drugs, but I don't know what she took. I bet you.

1:32:15🔗 Adam I understand you want to cover yourself, Drew, but she's probably okay. That's the next day, just drink yourself a gallon of Gatorade and take a nap.

1:32:24🔗 Drew Adam, just because you used to work for that organization that if somebody was dead, that you'd call them to advise you on how to manage the dead person, they'd say, throw them in a shower.

1:32:32🔗 Adam The Do It Now Foundation?

1:32:34🔗 Drew Yeah, Do It Now, right?

1:32:35🔗 Adam Yeah, my buddy Chris took like 150 bootleg quailudes in a half-baked attempt to kill himself when I was like 22 and he was living in this one bedroom with me and my buddy, the Wheeze. So I called the Do It Now Foundation. I was like, hey, do you think we should take him to the hospital? They're like, were they pharmaceutical or bootleg? The guy was baked. I heard the guy doing a bong load. He was like, hold on. Yeah, you say it was farms. So the guy goes, I don't know, just don't let him fall asleep. Good times. So me and the Wheeze drove around the city all night with Chris, keeping him awake until the sun rose and then we all passed out. I missed a day of work. Fantastic. Very nice. We'll take a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:33:28🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:34:08🔗 Adam All righty. I'm going to thank Christian for coming in here from Mad TV. Our pleasure. Saturday night, 11 o'clock. Drew? Hey, you got your cell phone over there, Drew?

1:34:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:34:20🔗 Adam Now I'm going to call you when I get off the air. I want to talk to you about some cars.

1:34:26🔗 Drew Turn your phone on. I don't have that phone. Come on.

1:34:28🔗 Adam Don't BS me, brother. I know when you're lying. Are you seeing somebody over there? Why are you over there?

1:34:36🔗 Caller Who are you seeing?

1:34:38🔗 Drew I'm talking to someone. Hey, I'm talking to someone else on my way home.

1:34:40🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. If the person who's seeing Drew is listening right now, I swear to Christ as God as my witness, I'll cut your nuts off if I see you. Don't you ever show your face around here because I'll smell Drew's ass on you. Do you understand me? You don't want to have with me, brother. Talk boxing. Okay, Drew, you get the message?

1:35:02🔗 Drew Yeah, I got. I hear you.

1:35:03🔗 Adam So until next time, this is Adam.

1:35:05🔗 Drew Are you cool?

1:35:06🔗 Adam I'm cool. As long as we can talk. That's all I ask. I don't want to go to bed angry. That was the promise we made five years ago, right? We don't go to bed angry?

1:35:14🔗 Drew No, I'm not angry. Are you? Okay.

1:35:17🔗 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying Mahalo. You can't articulate yourself any better than that.

1:35:25🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, managements, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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