Thursday, January 25, 2001

1:08🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline.

1:14🔗 I'm Adam Corolla.

1:15🔗 Adam He is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Our new facts numbers, 310-8-something, something, something, something, something, something.

1:26🔗 Right?

1:26🔗 Drew What is it? 840-5108?

1:28🔗 Adam Is that it? There you go.

1:30🔗 Drew 840-5108?

1:31🔗 Adam Drew, what? All right.

1:34🔗 Drew What was it?

1:35🔗 Adam I don't know. I was yelling a bunch of random numbers into my head.

1:39🔗 Drew I can't hear you.

1:40🔗 Adam I can hear 840-4051.

1:44🔗 Drew Okay.

1:45🔗 Adam How many facts have you seen from this show in the last six months?

1:49🔗 Drew Six months? Let's see. This is Thursday.

1:54🔗 Adam All right. That's all right. It's like one of these things that we... It's the parsley by the side of the plate when you go to a diner. You don't need it there. You just...

2:04🔗 Drew Know it's there.

2:04🔗 Adam Know it's there and it makes you feel better. Are you hearing a humming in your ear?

2:09🔗 Drew Yes. Very definitely. A very high-pitched, lovely sound.

2:11🔗 Adam Anderson, is there something we can do about that? Jessica?

2:15🔗 Uh-huh?

2:15🔗 Adam You're 22?

2:17🔗 Caller Yes.

2:17🔗 Adam What's up?

2:19🔗 Caller Actually, I just have a question. My husband, we've been together for five years and he refuses to receive oral sex.

2:26🔗 Drew Refuses to receive?

2:28🔗 Caller I have nothing to do with it.

2:29🔗 Drew He just doesn't like it?

2:31🔗 Caller Just, well, he's never even tried it.

2:33🔗 Drew Well, he doesn't, well, what do we have a point how he would know if he didn't like it if he's never tried it but he's not inclined? He doesn't think he'd like it? He doesn't think he'd like it?

2:42🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

2:43🔗 Drew I guess.

2:43🔗 Caller I really don't know what it is.

2:45🔗 Adam He's never tried it with you or he's never tried it with anyone?

2:48🔗 Caller He was a virgin when I met him.

2:49🔗 Drew Wait. Now, you haven't asked him?

2:52🔗 Caller I've asked him plenty of times.

2:53🔗 Drew And what does he say?

2:56🔗 Caller He just says no and then the subject has dropped because he told me not to push it.

2:59🔗 Drew And when you ask him why?

3:01🔗 Caller He won't. He just says no.

3:03🔗 Adam No, I'm the same way.

3:04🔗 Caller No reason.

3:05🔗 I'm getting no reason from him.

3:06🔗 Adam I can't stand it when a woman pushes to give me oral sex. It's like, hey, honey, what part of no don't you understand? Now back that head up away from my groin.

3:16🔗 Caller That's why I find it so weird. I've never heard him say yes.

3:20🔗 Drew Well, I can understand.

3:21🔗 Adam Maybe he's freaked out because you've heard yes too much and he was a virgin.

3:26🔗 Caller No, just from hearsay.

3:28🔗 Drew Some guys don't like it.

3:31🔗 Adam No.

3:31🔗 Drew Yes. Yes. What do you think? Listen, is Schwoz caught in some sort of clown instrument when he was growing up or something? Mouths are now off limits for him.

3:41🔗 Adam What would be an appropriate clown instrument? A liapy or something?

3:45🔗 Drew A clown mouth, like a gum dispenser or something. A Pez caught him when he was six months old.

3:50🔗 Adam Drew, I urge you to think your thoughts out before you spit them out over the airwaves. Jessica, let me tell you something about oral sex with guys. I'm a guy who doesn't get too many massages, for instance. I feel weird about it, paying somebody to work me over a 90 bucks. It's something I wouldn't think to do. But you know what? If someone really wants to give me a massage, you're goddamn right I'll hold still and let them do it. That's how most guys, that's how guys who don't particularly like oral sex feel about oral sex. It may not be their bag, it may not be at the top of their list, but if their wife wants to give it to them, they sure as hell will hold still long enough for them to give it a whirl. So there's something- Yeah, I know.

4:34🔗 Caller There's not even a chance.

4:36🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying. There's something up with this guy in a major way. What else?

4:42🔗 Caller I don't know.

4:43🔗 He's very clean.

4:44🔗 Caller I think that might have something to do with it. He's very hygienic.

4:46🔗 Adam Interesting.

4:48🔗 Caller It might bother him that way.

4:49🔗 Adam What about sex?

4:52🔗 Caller Sex, he's very happy to do that at any time.

4:54🔗 Adam Really? So he's perfectly willing to put his penis in your filthy, filthy vagina. But he has-

5:02🔗 Drew How dare you.

5:04🔗 Adam But he will not let you put it in your mouth.

5:07🔗 Caller No.

5:08🔗 Adam And is he circumcised or uncircumcised?

5:11🔗 Caller No, actually, he's not.

5:13🔗 Adam He's uncircumcised.

5:15🔗 Caller Right.

5:15🔗 Adam Interesting. Hold on. Would you shut up? Jesus Christ.

5:23🔗 Drew That's why-

5:25🔗 Adam Oh, she won't stop talking long enough. He's scared she's going to bite it off in the mid-sentence. Some guys who are uncircumcised have had problems down there with cleanliness, odor, little difficulties, could have been something that was set in when he was young, could be very conscious of it, self-conscious of it.

5:44🔗 Drew Possibly.

5:45🔗 Adam Well, I asked.

5:46🔗 Drew Hey, the only way we're going to get to the bottom of it is we talk to him. It's just she's not going anywhere with us.

5:51🔗 Adam Yeah, but he's working the third shift somewhere. Where is he?

5:55🔗 Caller He is at a bar with my brother.

5:57🔗 Adam At a bar? Okay, so he's uncircumcised.

6:01🔗 Caller Yes.

6:02🔗 Adam And maybe he has some issues about that. You see what I'm saying?

6:07🔗 Caller Yeah, I know I did when we first got together, but we've been together for five years.

6:10🔗 Adam What were those issues?

6:12🔗 Caller Just say he was embarrassed of it. He didn't want to tell me.

6:15🔗 Caller Aha.

6:16🔗 Adam Is he, Drew? I know this wasn't your idea, so you're not hot for it, but it's starting to form here.

6:22🔗 Drew There's a trail, but it's still not coming to form for me.

6:24🔗 Adam Right, but listen, we got he's uncircumcised. We got that he was embarrassed by it and didn't want to tell her about it. It wouldn't be too big a jump to say that he may have been teased about it, maybe had some odor problems, maybe a little hygiene, and now he doesn't want it in her mouth.

6:41🔗 Drew So how are we going to help her?

6:43🔗 Adam You guys take a bath together or something, get in a hot tub together.

6:47🔗 Drew If that's the issue, how about just...

6:51🔗 Adam Jessica?

6:52🔗 Caller Uh-huh?

6:52🔗 Adam Do you guys have a... What do you guys have? Do you guys have like a wash tub?

6:57🔗 Caller Yeah, we have a bath.

6:58🔗 Adam You have a bath? How about you two take a bath together and you guys soap each other up and then you offer to do it midway into the bath? And don't take... Don't take no for an answer.

7:12🔗 How do you do that?

7:13🔗 Adam Well, you just go relax, Tiger. I've done it to Drew a hundred times. It's like, no, no, no. Okay, yeah, yeah, don't stop. That's it. I tried that once.

7:24🔗 Caller You won't go for anything.

7:26🔗 Adam Okay, well, then confront him and tell him it bothers you.

7:30🔗 Drew You need to know why and you need to know why and you deserve an explanation and then you need to settle down about it if there's a substantial reason. Just relax. It's okay.

7:39🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

7:40🔗 Drew He doesn't want it anymore. Yeah, he doesn't.

7:42🔗 Caller I don't push it.

7:42🔗 Adam All right. You've dodged a bullet here, haven't you?

7:47🔗 Caller What's that? How?

7:48🔗 Adam Well, I mean, all right.

7:50🔗 Drew Stop.

7:50🔗 Caller Stop.

7:51🔗 Adam Listen, a lot of women look at this as a chore that they prefer not to do. What he's saying is, you don't have to do it.

7:58🔗 Drew You have to hook.

7:59🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Listen, if a woman said to me, I will not permit you to go down on me, it would be the best day of my life. Thank you, Drew. Ashley?

8:10🔗 Yeah.

8:11🔗 Adam You're 18.

8:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

8:12🔗 Adam What's up?

8:13🔗 Caller I just want to say I've been listening for a while. I have a lot of respect for y'all show. Thank you. Very good.

8:19🔗 Drew What's going on?

8:21🔗 Caller I have a problem. It's like I want to have sex like every day all the time. And my girlfriend, she's just not, I don't know if she's not real interested in having sex every day because she said I don't make it special anymore.

8:37🔗 Adam But you pulling her skirt up over her head is not special.

8:42🔗 Drew Is she 18? Is she 18 also?

8:44🔗 Caller Well, I mean, she's always wanting to make love and...

8:47🔗 Drew Is she 18 also?

8:48🔗 Caller No, she's 16.

8:49🔗 Drew 16.

8:51🔗 Adam Yeah. All right.

8:52🔗 Caller And I just want to know, me wanting to have sex like every single day.

8:55🔗 Drew Yeah, let's take the scorecard out here, Adam. Lesbian, sexually compulsive, adds up to...

9:02🔗 Adam Who's what? Oh, Ashley. Oh, Ashley, the chick?

9:06🔗 Drew Is it?

9:07🔗 Caller No. Yeah, I'm a girl.

9:08🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Sorry, brother, sister. I didn't know. I wasn't paying attention.

9:14🔗 Drew No kidding.

9:15🔗 Adam Well, you know what? Okay, I had a couple of beers with dinner, but...

9:18🔗 Drew No, you did not. Like five hours ago, I'd know if you had beers.

9:22🔗 Adam No, I didn't. I had a couple of beers with dinner.

9:23🔗 Drew Recently?

9:25🔗 Adam Recently.

9:26🔗 Drew I mean, like a couple of hours ago.

9:27🔗 Adam With dinner, jackass.

9:28🔗 Drew And I didn't know? I can't believe that.

9:29🔗 Adam Well, because I had like a tub of coffee and I ate like 40 pounds of veal, too.

9:34🔗 Drew And with that box of altoids was empty. You poured that thing in your mouth.

9:37🔗 Adam Shh. What are you talking about? I didn't have a box of altoids. How dare you?

9:42🔗 Caller How dare you?

9:44🔗 Adam Ashley? I'm sorry. It's just I'm a little old fashioned. And when people talk about their girlfriend, I forget that this could be a girl talking.

9:52🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

9:53🔗 Adam And with the southern accent, I was a little thrown off.

9:56🔗 Caller I got southern accent, really?

9:57🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

9:58🔗 Caller Oh, man.

10:00🔗 Adam Boy, howdy, y'all. Okay. So, so why don't you just play her game if you want more contact with her?

10:08🔗 Drew Wait, but Ashley, but Ashley's scorecard says the sexually abused says it right here.

10:13🔗 Adam Ashley sexually abused or her partner is Ashley. Ashley, were you sexually abused?

10:19🔗 Drew Once.

10:21🔗 Adam Once.

10:21🔗 Caller But it wasn't I didn't go it wasn't an intercourse. It was just a thing on my uncle and I'm saying he was just, he just he just whipped it out, showed me everything about it. You know, and I don't know. It was real.

10:35🔗 Drew How was it for Matt?

10:37🔗 But how old were you?

10:40🔗 Caller I was 12.

10:42🔗 Adam And he whipped it out and gave you a lot.

10:44🔗 Caller Jacked off and he wanted to touch me all over and he wanted me to give him oral sex and all that crap.

10:49🔗 Adam But what a what a dynamite individual. And this is uncle. This is yeah. This is your your mother's brother.

10:56🔗 Caller I'm in a mental hospital now.

10:58🔗 Adam Is this your father or mother's brother?

11:00🔗 Caller Mother's dad and my mother. Oh, man, she's psycho, too.

11:04🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

11:06🔗 Adam All right. OK, well, the good news is you're not having any kids anytime soon, right?

11:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

11:11🔗 Adam Good. OK, so is what kind of shape is your girlfriend in? Has she been exposed to some uncles?

11:17🔗 Caller No, she hasn't. She's actually she's real clean. She's real nice. She's her family is just like the perfect family, the Partridge family.

11:25🔗 Adam I see. OK.

11:27🔗 Drew They have an uncle, Lou, too. But be that as it may, Ashley, you're sexually compulsive. You were sexually abused. It tends to wire in a need for sexuality and a tendency to sexualize all feelings. And you're sort of acting that out constantly. So it's an abnormal drive. It's just we like it. Adam and I were talking to the day and it's kind of like the human brain reacts to excessive sexual sort of input at a young age the way it would to excessive aggression or violence. That person starts pulling away and becoming potentially sort of anxious and even striking out themselves. Same thing with sex. They start sort of compulsively acting in a sexual manner.

12:07🔗 Adam Okay. So the answer is get some help, get some counseling about what happened to you with your uncle, with your entire family. And then if you want your girlfriend to put out more and she says you're not making it special enough, then make it special. Right.

12:22🔗 Drew And cool down a little bit.

12:24🔗 Adam All right. There's a balance to be struck in there. Robbie? Robbie?

12:30🔗 Caller It's Bobby.

12:31🔗 Adam Oh, Bobby.

12:32🔗 Caller All right.

12:32🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

12:34🔗 Caller That's my problem. I need to know if I have what I think is called a penis fracture.

12:44🔗 Adam Yes, you do.

12:45🔗 Caller Do I?

12:46🔗 Adam Most definitely.

12:49🔗 Caller You're here to explain.

12:51🔗 Adam Well, I'm just I'm playing a hunch here. I'm going with you.

12:55🔗 Caller This is what happened. I'm a sex scene. I have sex every day. This is about two years ago. Basically, it's just like the basic instinct scene where she's on top.

13:11🔗 Drew Hold on a second. We're getting some spooky callers tonight.

13:15🔗 Adam I know. And I don't know if it's just me or is it like Quaalude Night or is it Weirdo Night?

13:21🔗 Drew Weirdo Night. I don't want to speak ill of our callers, but no, I do.

13:24🔗 Adam Is it like he sucked on some ether before he called in or something?

13:29🔗 Drew Something.

13:30🔗 Adam He's giving you the creeps?

13:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

13:32🔗 Adam The hair on the back of your neck is standing out.

13:33🔗 Drew Actually, he gave me a similar creep.

13:35🔗 Adam Oh, really? Well, I would have been creeped out by Ashley except for I thought it was a dude for 20 minutes. I was listening with one ear. Come on. I sit here every night. Drew, you expect me to listen to every goddamn call that comes in?

13:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

13:48🔗 Caller All right.

13:49🔗 Adam Robbie.

13:50🔗 Caller Bobby.

13:51🔗 Adam Yeah, Bobby. I mean, it says Robbie on the screen. That's why it's going to be a long night. Tell us what your problem is.

13:57🔗 Caller Well, it's it's not straight anymore. It's going out to the left.

14:01🔗 Drew Oh, really? What happened?

14:02🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, it just sounded like, you know, how your cartilage pops like that. That's what I that's what it sounded like, like a book wrote. And then the next day, it was sore, a lot more sore than it usually is. We're getting that for a very long time.

14:22🔗 Drew Well, you can tear it. That's not usually a fracture, but you can cause it.

14:26🔗 Adam But now it's growing that way. I mean, it's pointing that way.

14:30🔗 Caller Exactly.

14:30🔗 Adam It's like, like you backed in your mailbox or something and just tipped it over.

14:35🔗 Caller Right, exactly. And I wrote about this in Max magazine about five months ago and freaked me out cause they said like, if you don't get that taken care of, it can get worse.

14:49🔗 Adam All right, well, why don't you go and see a urologist and take care of it?

14:54🔗 Drew I agree with that.

14:55🔗 Caller A neurologist.

14:56🔗 Drew Urologist.

14:57🔗 Caller Urologist.

14:58🔗 Drew Okay. Sometimes they have to open up and sew up the broken heart.

15:02🔗 Adam You can remember it by thinking it's urologist. All right there, Bobby.

15:09🔗 Drew I think he's not a bombologist. He's not interested.

15:13🔗 Adam It's one of those nights because it's one of those nights where useless information takes a real long time to get to. Here we go. I read it in Maxim magazine about five months ago. It's like it has no bearing on the question, but yet it takes a very long time to get to. We're going to start powering here, right, Drew?

15:34🔗 Drew Right.

15:34🔗 Adam There's nothing we can do about your penis over the phone, Bobby. You must talk to a specialist.

15:38🔗 Drew It might have been a terror. I agree.

15:40🔗 Adam And hurry. Jason?

15:42🔗 Yeah.

15:42🔗 Adam You're 28.

15:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:43🔗 Adam What's up?

15:45🔗 Caller OK. My wife says that my sister's got the hots for me. She's actually my half sister. But I consider family nonetheless. And just like my brother is my half brother and I love them both. And we're all pretty tight and everything. Well, me and my sister share a father, but he's dead.

16:06🔗 Drew So, you know, that doesn't count that Adam, right?

16:08🔗 Caller Well, we're kind of bonded because of that. You know, he committed suicide and all this stuff. So anyway, I was out of a job and I got a job at this strip club. And that's where my sister worked. And I went there to be a bar back while your sister dance there. No, she's a she was a waitress and your half sister, my half sister. Yeah. So I met this barmaid there and we started dating and all this. And now we're married, but all of a sudden she.

16:40🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Am I right about ether night?

16:43🔗 Caller Here we are again.

16:44🔗 Adam Like everyone's like, Oh, I met a girl. I picture him like with a tank next to him, like on a blue velvet, like picking a suck off in between.

16:57🔗 Caller I'm Jason. I'm 11. All right.

17:00🔗 Adam All right, buddy. All right. Let's keep her all of a sudden.

17:02🔗 Caller All right. Well, anyway, her and my sister used to be pretty good friends. You know, not, not best friends, but you know, I got along and a good report and everything, but now all of a sudden she says, my sister's just got the hots for me. She wants to sleep with me. And I get all kinds of grief if I talk to my sister at all.

17:20🔗 Drew Why?

17:21🔗 Caller Or anybody in my family for that matter.

17:23🔗 Caller Why?

17:24🔗 Caller Well, she said that she made a remark to her that was out of line in the bar.

17:28🔗 Drew That your sister did?

17:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:30🔗 Drew So why would the rest of your family give you grief if you talk to your sister?

17:32🔗 Caller No, not the rest of my family.

17:34🔗 Adam His wife gives him grief.

17:35🔗 Caller She gives me grief.

17:36🔗 Adam Your wife?

17:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:37🔗 Drew If you talk to anyone else in your family?

17:39🔗 Caller In particular, my sister, but yeah, anybody else too. She kind of gives me grief.

17:43🔗 Drew What exactly did your sister say to your wife? Exactly.

17:47🔗 Caller They were joking about it.

17:48🔗 Drew Exactly.

17:49🔗 Caller Okay, exactly. This is exactly what it was. My wife made the comment before how she doesn't like big penises. Okay. And well, she says I have a big penis, and I guess it took her a little while to get used to it or something. And I don't know how they got on that subject, but I guess her and my sister had a little talk about it or something. I wasn't there. I don't know what was said. But all of a sudden, now my sister wants to do me, apparently.

18:21🔗 Drew What exactly did your sister say?

18:24🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, can I go take a leak?

18:25🔗 Drew We don't know.

18:26🔗 Caller I don't know exactly what she said.

18:27🔗 Drew All right. So there's no idea what went on there.

18:29🔗 Adam Go ahead and volunteer that like this time yesterday when you started the story. All right, listen, Jason. Yeah.

18:36🔗 Drew OK. His wife's probably a pain in the ass.

18:37🔗 Adam Yeah, your wife's a pain in the ass. Your sister's a piece of work. There's no doubt about that. So is your wife. Now who's wearing the pants in this family?

18:46🔗 Caller Well, pretty much me.

18:48🔗 Adam All right.

18:49🔗 Caller I mean, I do what I want to do.

18:49🔗 Well, pull them up.

18:51🔗 Caller But there's consequences, you know.

18:52🔗 Adam Listen, hold on. Listen, you telling your wife that you're going to have a communications with your family is not what you call a tall order.

19:02🔗 Caller Well, listen, here's the kicker, OK? My wife, she's been a barmaid for like 16 years or so. She doesn't do that now. I told her that it would be best for us to quit that bar and for her to get a normal job, you know, like the rest of the people in the world should have. And she agreed to that. She did that. She's doing that now. And, you know, that's that's where's the kicker. That's good. But the kicker is she has been a draw.

19:30🔗 Adam I'm going number two now.

19:32🔗 Hold down the floor.

19:33🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

19:35🔗 Caller Hold on.

19:36🔗 Adam Oh, hold on. I got to tell you, I wait a minute. They tell me not to abuse the callers on this show, but I have just about enough audio. I can't take this ether quailu dragon on. Jesus Christ is like Burl Ives is calling in on a goddamn quailu and a fifth of scotch waxing on about something that went on during the 1840s. We were gold rushers. My mule's name was just get to the goddamn kicker. Kick. Kick, you mule.

20:03🔗 Caller She used to be a call girl. My wife did. All right. There we go.

20:07🔗 Drew There we go.

20:07🔗 Caller Now, she did used to do like parties.

20:10🔗 Drew Forget it. Just try to stop.

20:12🔗 Adam Jason, Jason, all bets are on your wife is paranoid.

20:16🔗 Caller Now, she used to.

20:17🔗 Drew You listen to me.

20:18🔗 Caller He has done this type of thing with her sister.

20:21🔗 Drew Jason, she's parent. Listen, she has a personality disorder, probably. She's paranoid. You've got someone who distorts things, who has a very severe chaotic and abusive history. This is not about your sisters, about your wife. If you need to go to your sister and say, Hey, did you say something to my wife about me or my penis? Find out exactly what was said.

20:42🔗 Adam No, do you even want to do it?

20:43🔗 Drew Not even, but just to start setting limits with your wife. Her behavior is completely out of line, and it's consistent with the history. Now, you're finally giving us about your wife.

20:51🔗 Adam All right. And listen, if you two have kids, I'm going to sue you on behalf of the United States. Do you hear me?

20:58🔗 Caller She can't have children.

20:59🔗 Drew US government versus Jason.

21:01🔗 Adam Yes.

21:01🔗 Caller She's got two kids.

21:04🔗 Adam Where are they?

21:05🔗 Caller Huh?

21:05🔗 Adam Where are they?

21:06🔗 Caller They both live here with us.

21:08🔗 Adam All right. Listen, is one of them a boy?

21:10🔗 Caller He sure is.

21:11🔗 Adam You keep him out of prison.

21:13🔗 Caller Hey, that's not easy.

21:15🔗 Adam I know it isn't.

21:16🔗 Caller Out of jail right now.

21:17🔗 Adam What's that?

21:17🔗 Caller He's in and out of jail as it is right now.

21:20🔗 Adam Shocking.

21:20🔗 Caller 17 year old.

21:21🔗 Adam Shocking.

21:21🔗 Drew Oh my God.

21:22🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, Jason, no kids, no more kids. And you contain her. Don't take her request as if they were the request of a sane person. You understand? Right. All right. Now come on. Pull those pants up and lay down the law.

21:37🔗 Jesus Christ.

21:39🔗 Adam It's a sad, bizarre, twisted night we've gotten into. Come on. I want to talk to some 15 year old that wants to work up the courage to ask some girl out on a date. Where's he? Do you know what I mean?

21:50🔗 Drew Yeah.

21:51🔗 Adam I want to explain to some 14 year old girl what it's like to kiss. You know, I want one of those calls.

21:57🔗 Drew All right.

21:58🔗 Adam Who is that going to be?

21:58🔗 Drew Delightful.

21:59🔗 Adam Nicole. Boyfriend keeps pushing the idea of having a threesome. Drew, seriously, let's take some hemlock during the break and off ourselves. Let's see. Joe. Joe's 22. He's never had a girlfriend and wants to get some advice on how to get one. Let me just check Joe's voice, make sure he hasn't been sucking off the nitrous tank. Joe?

22:25🔗 Hello.

22:27🔗 Adam How are you, Joe?

22:29🔗 I'm okay. How's it going?

22:31🔗 Adam Okay. Not exactly what I'm looking for, but a step up from what we've had. We're moving in the right direction. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

23:01🔗 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

23:17🔗 Adam Hey, I'm Adam Corolla, and it's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Welcome to Drunken Hillbilly Night here on Loveline. A lot of guys calling in. Slow Talking Jones. All right, we're gonna get back on the phones. You know, I didn't want to talk to Joe. He was too close to the last 15 callers we had. I want some 16-year-old chick who's like hopped up on a copier toner.

23:45🔗 Drew Where's Tara? She's 16. Tara?

23:47🔗 Caller Yeah?

23:47🔗 Adam What's up, baby?

23:48🔗 Caller Hey, um, okay.

23:49🔗 Caller Well, I've been seeing this girl.

23:51🔗 Caller And, uh, um, she took me to this party, like, a week ago. And we all got drunk and everything. And I ended up sleeping with this guy.

23:59🔗 Caller He barely even knew.

24:00🔗 Caller I knew him for like a week. Anyways, I have reason to believe that I'm pregnant. And I'm scared to tell my girlfriend, because we've been off and on for a year now.

24:07🔗 Caller And I'm afraid she's gonna leave me.

24:08🔗 Drew Why do you believe you're pregnant?

24:10🔗 Caller Well, I've been to the nausea, bad headaches, and well, my period should be coming in a week, but I'm just, I'm not sure.

24:17🔗 Drew So let's prove you're pregnant before you go dropping that bomb on someone, right?

24:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

24:23🔗 Adam Yeah, you haven't even missed your period yet.

24:25🔗 Caller True, yeah.

24:27🔗 Adam What's up? You go to a party with your girlfriend, you hook up with a guy?

24:30🔗 Caller I was totally drunk.

24:31🔗 Caller I didn't know what I was doing.

24:33🔗 Drew Do you have other problems with alcohol?

24:35🔗 Caller No.

24:36🔗 Adam Well, where did you have sex?

24:38🔗 Caller In a hotel room.

24:40🔗 Adam And where was your girlfriend?

24:41🔗 Caller She was in the living room. I think she was hanging out with some friends or either passed out or something. I'm not sure.

24:45🔗 Drew In the same hotel room?

24:46🔗 Caller Yes.

24:47🔗 Caller Well, it was a two-bedroom one, so.

24:49🔗 Drew Oh, that explains it. Sweet.

24:50🔗 Adam So, you went to a party at a hotel suite?

24:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:54🔗 Adam I see. She said hotel room. I assume she left the party and went to a hotel with the guy.

25:00🔗 Drew How could she not have known the girlfriend?

25:02🔗 Caller Say that again?

25:03🔗 Adam How could your girlfriend not have known that you were getting boinked in the next room?

25:08🔗 Caller Boinked? Well, I don't know. She was too drunk herself, so. I don't know.

25:12🔗 Adam Listen, I've been drunk. I'm drunk now, actually.

25:15🔗 Drew Yeah.

25:16🔗 Adam And I, if Drew was, if Drew was fisting me, I would know within the first 15, 20 minutes. Is that true, Drew?

25:25🔗 Drew Looking back, you would know.

25:26🔗 Adam That's right. Upon reflection. Hey, Tara? Yeah. All right. And why don't, can you get, get a pregnancy test if it's before two weeks?

25:35🔗 Drew No. I don't think so.

25:36🔗 Adam Don't they have tests? What's that?

25:38🔗 Caller How long do you have to wait?

25:39🔗 Drew Two weeks.

25:39🔗 Adam It's usually two weeks, but I don't know if they have tests now that are a little, a little quicker.

25:43🔗 Drew A little quicker. But what, what, when did this happen?

25:46🔗 Caller Like a week ago?

25:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

25:48🔗 Drew You wouldn't be sick already, please. It's a week ago. If you're, if you're having symptoms, I'm more concerned that he passed a disease to you or something.

25:54🔗 Caller Well, I don't know.

25:57🔗 Adam Okay. Listen, where, well, wait a minute, what do you wear with your girlfriend?

26:01🔗 Drew Were you raped?

26:03🔗 Caller No. Well, he was drunk too, so I don't know if you'd consider it rape.

26:06🔗 Caller He was 19.

26:07🔗 Adam Okay. So you're not going to tell your girlfriend unless you're pregnant.

26:11🔗 Caller Okay.

26:12🔗 Adam Right?

26:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:13🔗 Adam What's up with your super chaotic life?

26:15🔗 Caller What do you mean?

26:16🔗 Adam Well, why, why all the acting out?

26:19🔗 Caller Well, I've been through a lot. I was molested when I was 13, and I've just been going through a lot of crap lately.

26:26🔗 Okay.

26:27🔗 Caller I went to the party and I got drunk. I just wanted to get away from everything.

26:32🔗 Adam Well, you feel better now, right?

26:36🔗 Caller No.

26:37🔗 Drew Imagine that.

26:38🔗 Caller All right.

26:38🔗 Adam Now, here's all I want you to do. If you could get this out of this phone call, it would really be the most important day of your young life. You're ready? Yeah. You had a bunch of stuff happen to you when you were younger, molestation, that kind of thing, right? You went to a party, you drowned your sorrows in alcohol, you had some drunken slob get on top of you and have sex with you without protection, and you now feel worse for it, right? You're scared you may be pregnant, you have to confront your girlfriend, you feel like ass. Now, remember this feeling. The next time you go to a party, get loaded and some guy wants to crawl on top of you. It's not an answer to your problems, is what I'm saying. Do you think you could do that, not do this again? Because this would all be worth it if you didn't do it again.

27:27🔗 Caller It won't happen again.

27:27🔗 Drew You're never drinking again.

27:29🔗 Caller Never.

27:29🔗 Adam Well, let's, hold on.

27:30🔗 Caller I wouldn't say never, but...

27:31🔗 Adam Yeah, she's 16. She's got to booze it up a little. No, but you know what I'm saying? Like, this bad experience that you now have behind you will be worth nothing if you do it again. But if you don't do it again, it'll be a very important experience.

27:46🔗 Drew But isn't it evidence of the fact that that part of our brain just functions so totally differently? Because what people do when they have something like this happen is they go out and do the same thing more.

27:56🔗 Adam But Drew, I'm trying to help the girl.

27:58🔗 Drew I understand that.

27:58🔗 Adam You're damning her.

27:59🔗 Drew No, I'm not. I'm just describing what humans actually do, which is a young lady like this who's been in sort of a traumatic sex experience.

28:04🔗 Adam Tara, are you a human?

28:06🔗 Drew Huh?

28:07🔗 Adam Are you a human?

28:08🔗 Drew Yes.

28:08🔗 Adam All right.

28:08🔗 Drew First one tonight, in fact.

28:09🔗 Adam She's screwed then.

28:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

28:11🔗 Adam I just said what humans do. Leave her alone.

28:13🔗 Drew They go out and they do act it out more. But that's what's bizarre because they can't learn. They don't. You think you'd think, oh, God, this is awful experience. I learned from that.

28:21🔗 Adam I know.

28:21🔗 Drew Instead, it's I don't know why I keep doing it more.

28:24🔗 Adam I understand that. But some of some can.

28:27🔗 Drew She should be able to learn.

28:29🔗 Adam Nice. Nice recovery. Annie.

28:33🔗 Caller Hi.

28:33🔗 Adam You're 16.

28:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:35🔗 Adam What's up?

28:36🔗 Caller I just like to say that I love you guys. And Adam, I wouldn't listen to the show if you weren't on it. And I hope Striker never takes over for you because I will not listen to the show anymore.

28:44🔗 Drew Well, thanks, Annie.

28:45🔗 Adam Thanks.

28:46🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

28:47🔗 Adam Striker just killed himself on the way home.

28:49🔗 Drew And thanks for the words of kind support for me.

28:52🔗 Caller Yeah. I want you guys to just give me a chance because my question wasn't really real, but she wouldn't take my call. All right.

28:59🔗 Drew Okay.

28:59🔗 Caller I'm sorry. I wanted to know what was the most effective and quickest way to flush marijuana out of your system?

29:09🔗 Drew Not smoking. There really is no way because we now know how to test for adulterating agents. So if you do anything to your urine, we'll know it.

29:20🔗 Adam Yeah. But there's a difference between adulterating agents and confirmation of marijuana.

29:25🔗 Drew Adulterating agent is considered positive.

29:28🔗 Adam Why else? I mean, the law doesn't work that way.

29:30🔗 Drew But whoever is doing the testing, that's the way it works. Because why the hell else would you have adulterating agents in your urine?

29:37🔗 Adam Well, there's a lot of things that work that way in the court systems, but that's not an argument.

29:43🔗 Drew You know what I'm saying? Well, it may not hold up legally, but in the employment situations and what not, medical review officers...

29:48🔗 Adam So you just drink straight white vinegar.

29:51🔗 Drew Ain't going to be a good thing.

29:52🔗 Adam Okay.

29:53🔗 Caller Well, I've just been drinking a lot of water.

29:55🔗 Drew Yeah, cranberry juice, a lot of fluid. How long have you been smoking pot for?

29:59🔗 Caller Oh, since I was like 13.

30:01🔗 Adam What are you testing for?

30:03🔗 Caller Marijuana.

30:04🔗 Drew Why?

30:05🔗 Adam Yeah, I know, but where are you going?

30:06🔗 Caller Oh, to the court.

30:08🔗 Caller Oh, why?

30:09🔗 Caller Because my dad's going to take me there.

30:11🔗 Adam What for?

30:12🔗 Caller He thinks I'm smoking marijuana.

30:14🔗 Drew He takes you to the court?

30:16🔗 Caller Yeah, because they can do it for $15, I guess, and he's just going to take me there.

30:20🔗 Adam Your dad thinks you're smoking pot?

30:22🔗 Drew Why don't you get some help with the pot? It is such a severely addictive drug for some people.

30:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:30🔗 Adam You may be one of them.

30:31🔗 Drew You are one of them.

30:32🔗 Caller Well, do you think that there's any way if I just drink a lot of water since I've been smoking a lot lately? Like, a lot?

30:37🔗 Drew If you drink a lot of water, and you were smoking a lot, it'll take about three to seven days to come out.

30:42🔗 Caller Oh, really?

30:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:44🔗 Caller Oh, all right. Thank you very much.

30:47🔗 Adam Yeah, all right, Annie.

30:47🔗 Caller All right.

30:48🔗 Adam Hey, Annie.

30:49🔗 Caller Yeah?

30:50🔗 Adam Listen, why don't you think about quitting the weed, though? It seems like, you know, you got three years under your belt. You're 16.

30:56🔗 Caller Yeah. It's not affecting me at all, though.

30:59🔗 Drew Annie, yes, it is.

31:01🔗 Adam Well, listen, you're a girl. You don't need all your brain.

31:03🔗 Drew There's overwhelming evidence that for 15-year-olds and six-year-olds, particularly, there is some damage, or at least some shrinkage of the right frontal lobe. And that's the part of the brain you use to develop emotionally.

31:16🔗 Caller Oh.

31:17🔗 Drew And so if you were having trouble coping, that's why.

31:21🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

31:21🔗 Adam Now, but why don't you quit just because you can't quit? That's a good reason to quit. Do you know what I'm saying?

31:27🔗 Drew Well, she won't quit.

31:28🔗 Caller I've quit before that.

31:29🔗 Drew Yeah, quitting doesn't mean stopping and then starting and stopping and starting. Quitting is quitting. Right.

31:34🔗 One week.

31:35🔗 Adam That's what that means, right?

31:36🔗 Drew Right.

31:36🔗 Of course. All right.

31:37🔗 Caller Well, thank you for your help.

31:38🔗 Adam All right.

31:39🔗 All right, baby.

31:40🔗 Adam You just marry a rich guy. Don't worry about it.

31:42🔗 Caller All right. Yeah.

31:43🔗 Adam You're not going to vent anything, are you?

31:45🔗 Caller No, I don't think so.

31:46🔗 Adam No. Where are you going? You going to college?

31:48🔗 Caller Yeah, hopefully.

31:49🔗 Adam All right. Go to Humboldt.

31:51🔗 Caller All right.

31:51🔗 Adam All right. Good times.

31:52🔗 Caller You too.

31:53🔗 All right.

31:58🔗 Adam I don't know. What do you think about women? What do you think about a 13 year old girl smoking weed?

32:03🔗 Drew As opposed to a male?

32:05🔗 Adam Yeah, here's my theory. I'm just formulating this on the spot, but I know a lot of guys that are in a weed and I know some girls are in into it, but more many more guys. It takes hold. It's more powerful.

32:17🔗 Drew It takes hold more. And you know, they consider, what was her name, Annie, compared to some of the hashes we talked to. It's not as profound an effect, seemingly. And I will tell you.

32:27🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

32:28🔗 Drew And I'll tell you, the literature.

32:29🔗 Adam It seems to bounce off of them a little easier.

32:31🔗 Drew The literature I've seen has been on males.

32:33🔗 Adam Well, because when a guy is 13 and he's been smoking like a Rastafarian for three years, he turns into Spicoli.

32:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

32:43🔗 Adam All right?

32:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

32:44🔗 Adam She did not seem like Spicolette. Okay.

32:48🔗 Drew Just for further evidence of more brain reserve, brain power in women.

32:53🔗 Adam Right. Or them not using the brain for other things in the first place. Having reserves to ward off the marijuana. Whereas the guys are burning their brains out on other things.

33:02🔗 Drew I see.

33:03🔗 Adam Fantasizing when they masturbate, trying to cheat on tests, football plays at school, that sort of thing. Women have that large untapped, it's a national park up there. You know what I mean? All that brain matter not being used, set aside by the government.

33:19🔗 Beautiful.

33:23🔗 Adam Carlos?

33:24🔗 Hey.

33:24🔗 Adam Hey, you're 19, what's up?

33:25🔗 Caller What's up? Well, I was wondering exactly what it is that...

33:33🔗 Drew Here we go.

33:35🔗 Caller What is it that makes people think that people choose to be gay?

33:41🔗 Drew What is it that makes people think that? Because it's the same thing that makes people think that alcoholics should be able to stop drinking if they wanted to. It's people that don't have these conditions think them to be something of will or volition or choice. And these are not choices. Because none of these things would people choose. They're painful to have to deal with.

34:01🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. It doesn't make sense for anybody to choose to be that way.

34:04🔗 Drew No, people don't choose that. They are that. That's what they're rendered. They are that. Yeah.

34:10🔗 Adam These are, you know... Usually, when you want to pass judgment, you think that way because it makes it easier for you to pass judgment. Do you know what I mean?

34:20🔗 Drew Yeah, right.

34:21🔗 Adam To come down on the person.

34:22🔗 Drew To make their responsibility be that way.

34:24🔗 Adam If you said God made them that way, then you can't really tear them in the way.

34:27🔗 Drew You can't blame them. And, you know, I'm thinking about homosexual choices with women. There is sort of a choice there.

34:33🔗 Adam Yeah.

34:33🔗 Drew Which is interesting. Yeah, that's kind of... Well, are you gay?

34:37🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

34:38🔗 Drew Yeah, and so...

34:38🔗 Caller I'm very comfortable with my sexual being. It's something that I've known about for a very long time.

34:42🔗 Drew You're lucky.

34:44🔗 Adam How are your parents with it?

34:46🔗 Caller How are my parents with it? Well, when my dad found out, I found out from my cousin, because he found out that he knew from a letter that he had found to one of my exes that... He wasn't very happy, but he didn't hide. He hid his emotions from me because he didn't want to... He cared enough about me to not want to alter the way things were going with me, because he knows how...

35:07🔗 Drew Are you sure he hid his emotions? Are you sure he hid his emotions? Or maybe he was just okay with it?

35:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

35:14🔗 Drew Maybe you want him to have hidden his emotions, but he really didn't.

35:17🔗 Adam Why don't you give him more credit?

35:18🔗 Caller Why don't I give him more credit?

35:20🔗 Adam Yeah. You know, it's like a black guy saying the white guy hid his racist comments and emotions. Maybe the guy is not a racist.

35:29🔗 Caller Well, see, the thing is, I have a half-sister, and she's a lesbian, so he's been through it before.

35:33🔗 Drew That's not an answer. You want him to be pissed off for some reason.

35:38🔗 Caller Do I want him to be pissed off?

35:40🔗 Drew Quit repeating my question.

35:41🔗 Adam All right. Hold on. Hold on a second, Carlos. This is our favorite game. Someone calls in, makes a comment, and we go on the warpath. But think about this for a second. Your question was, why do people think that people have a choice in being gay? Right? That was your initial question. Which says to me that you have some issues about people and those who aren't and those who pass judgment. Yeah.

36:04🔗 Drew You're angry. Well, you should be.

36:07🔗 Adam Right. And then we talk about your father, and your father appears, according to you, to be okay with it, although he's really not somehow. But maybe he is okay with it. You have a lesbian sister.

36:19🔗 Drew He's dealt with it, and he's okay with it.

36:20🔗 Adam He's dealt with that. Here's what I'm saying. Why can't you be okay?

36:25🔗 Drew With your dad being okay?

36:29🔗 Adam And most of society being okay with you being gay?

36:33🔗 Caller Most of society?

36:34🔗 Adam Most of society. I want to give this message out to all the people out there, whether you're gay, or you have a certain religion, or a certain ethnicity, Or a certain color hair? Or a certain color hair.

36:45🔗 Drew However, fat people are excluded from this one.

36:47🔗 Adam Thank you. Who think that everybody is bigoted, or racist, or homophobe, or has a religious phobia? Here it is. I don't want to burst all your bubbles, because I know everyone loves to complain and think they're victims. 97% of society could give a rat's ass what color you are, what religion you are, or whose Johnson you blow on the weekend.

37:10🔗 Drew People don't care.

37:11🔗 Adam That's at least 90%. At least. There's 10% or 8% that ruin it for the 90 that everyone likes to glom on to, that makes the headlines. But the other 92% really don't care. Just don't care.

37:28🔗 Drew Just enjoy.

37:29🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

37:30🔗 Caller I found out who my real friends were the day that I...

37:32🔗 Adam Oh, listen. Nobody cares you're gay. You're real friends. Listen. 90% of everyone you know could care less that you're gay. How do you know that, though? I know. How do I know? Because I'm a genius, that's why. And I live in the world, and I keep my eyes open.

37:51🔗 Drew Well, because it's gotta be very meaningful to you, the ones that did care, and the ones that haven't been a part of your life. That's got to be very painful.

37:59🔗 Caller Oh, my friends are, my family, I love them.

38:00🔗 Drew No, no, but the ones that didn't come along must be very painful to have lost. And I think the point that I'm trying to make is that it's true. I mean, people generally don't care. I think our president taught us that lesson so vividly.

38:14🔗 Adam I'm saying...

38:14🔗 Drew He goes out and he has sex with a woman, he screws over his family, it's eh, oh well, whatever.

38:18🔗 Adam Why focus on that 10% or less in my estimation that does care you're gay? Focus on the 90 that doesn't care and enjoy. Thank you very much, Drew. We'll take ourselves a break. When we come back we'll speak to David. He might get a job as a bartender at a strip club.

38:37🔗 Drew We can give him a little trial of.

38:39🔗 Adam I'll give him a little, I'll tell him what he's in for as the club DJ.

38:44🔗 Drew Yeah, you could test him.

38:45🔗 Adam Good times.

38:47🔗 You know what I'm saying, Adam and Dr. Drew.

38:50🔗 Adam We'll be right back. I'm Adam Corolla, he's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E. 191, Big Thursday Night. I don't know what that meant there. I was trying to breathe some life into the show. David?

39:33🔗 Yes.

39:34🔗 Adam You're 20?

39:35🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

39:35🔗 Adam All right, so you may get a job as a bartender at a strip club?

39:39🔗 Caller Correct, I've been a bartender for about a year after I was sent over there. Oh, wow. I should have said I was from Irving. I work right across the street from where the policeman was shot. Fun, huh?

39:51🔗 Adam By the fugitives?

39:53🔗 Caller Yeah, by the Texas Seven.

39:54🔗 Caller Wow, all right.

39:56🔗 Adam Good times.

39:56🔗 Caller Anyway, I've been a bartender there for a while, and things haven't been going very well at work. A lot of personnel changes, and I was just fed up with it. Guy comes in quite often, offered me a job. It's pretty much set up. I wouldn't talk to him and everything. But recently, things have been kind of turning sour with the girl I've been dating for about eight months.

40:19🔗 Caller Kind of, hmm. I don't really want to...

40:22🔗 Drew What's the question, David? What's the question?

40:23🔗 Caller Oh, I'm sorry. I'm pretty laughing to it.

40:26🔗 Adam I think everyone's just reading an entry from their diary today.

40:32🔗 Caller I just, I don't want to substitute my girlfriend with maybe a stripper. I don't want not to demean anyone. I don't want to kind of...

40:39🔗 Drew Well, then don't date the strippers.

40:40🔗 Caller Right. I don't want to date the stripper at all. Don't.

40:43🔗 Drew Just by going to become...

40:44🔗 Caller Substitute for it.

40:45🔗 Adam Is your girlfriend going to let you work at the strip club?

40:47🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. She's totally cool with it.

40:49🔗 Drew Well, I'm confused. You've broken up with your girlfriend? No.

40:51🔗 Caller I'm thinking about it.

40:52🔗 Drew I see. Because of the strip club job?

40:54🔗 Caller No, not at all.

40:55🔗 Drew But you're already thinking about it. And then you're afraid as a way, as a response to that loss, you'll just grab somebody at the strip bar.

41:02🔗 Caller Well, no. I'm worried that by just the act of being there, watching it...

41:05🔗 Drew You'll grab somebody.

41:06🔗 Caller Right. Well, I've been in a very deep emotional relationships for a long time. And for God's sake, from 20 years old, a college student, the last thing I need right now is a serious relationship, I think.

41:19🔗 Adam All right. Well, listen, it sounds like you're done with the one you're in.

41:22🔗 Drew Yeah, that's an important thing.

41:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:23🔗 Adam You go drown your sorrows in a silicone and pasties and $18 bottles of mini champagne.

41:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

41:32🔗 Adam Oh, I know what goes on at those places. Hey, and listen, David, when you get the job at the gig, Drew and I were talking about this while we were urinating in unison, which we often do because I have what's known as a sympathetic bladder. When Drew has to pee, when Drew's bladder feels pain, so does mine. My bladder is like your mother's bladder. No, it's like your bladder's mother. When you have to pee, you know what they say? They say a mother can feel the child's pain.

42:01🔗 Drew Yep, by like a twin or a rabbit.

42:04🔗 Caller Rabbit?

42:04🔗 Drew Rabbits apparently can, they used to, the Navy used to keep rabbits in a cage when they could take the baby rabbits and put them in another boat. And if something would happen to the baby rabbits, the mother would freak out.

42:15🔗 Caller Really?

42:15🔗 Drew In that wild, yeah.

42:16🔗 Adam Are you sure?

42:17🔗 Drew That's what I was told in a psychopsychology class.

42:19🔗 Adam Yeah, they were just pulling your chain. All right, so the point is, what was the point? Oh, yes, yes. Go to the strip club, enjoy yourself, and yell at the DJ to shut the F up every once in a while and let us just focus. Please. Tanya?

42:38🔗 Caller Yes.

42:38🔗 Adam You're 24.

42:39🔗 Caller Yes.

42:39🔗 Adam What's up?

42:41🔗 Caller Okay, I've been with my husband for eight and a half years. We have four kids. I've been a monogamous and so is he. And I've only been satisfied twice in eight and a half years.

42:55🔗 Adam That's not bad. That's once every four and a quarter years.

42:58🔗 Drew What does satisfied mean exactly?

43:01🔗 Caller Since both times within three and a half years.

43:05🔗 Drew What does satisfied mean exactly?

43:07🔗 Caller Orgasm.

43:09🔗 Drew Can you do that by yourself?

43:11🔗 Caller No, those are the two times that I'm speaking of are the only two times he's been able to give me orgasm.

43:20🔗 Drew Who else has been able to do that?

43:21🔗 Caller Myself.

43:23🔗 Drew Is that what I just asked?

43:24🔗 Adam Yeah, I've lost total interest in college. But I ate dinner with a guy tonight who's had five orgasms the last time he went to a strip club without touching his junk.

43:34🔗 Drew What?

43:34🔗 Adam Five.

43:36🔗 Drew What?

43:36🔗 Adam That's right.

43:37🔗 Drew Who touched it?

43:38🔗 Adam What's that?

43:39🔗 Drew What's Jimmy been doing lately?

43:40🔗 Adam No, not Jimmy. No, Cinco de Panso, we call it. Five orgasms this guy had in a strip club without touching somebody was touching it.

43:51🔗 Drew Somebody was touching it.

43:52🔗 Adam Well, I was getting a lap dance, but just, you know, a standard lap dance.

43:56🔗 Drew Were you impressed?

43:57🔗 Adam Five. Yeah, I was impressed. I pulled a calf muscle just hearing about it. Hey, Tanya.

44:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:04🔗 Adam All right. So you can take care of yourself.

44:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't have any problem.

44:08🔗 Adam All right. What's up with your husband? No oral sex for you?

44:11🔗 Caller Yeah. And that's the only that's the way the two times occurred.

44:16🔗 Adam The problem is you fake it the other times.

44:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:20🔗 Adam So I mean, you got a lot of faking, right?

44:22🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

44:22🔗 Adam How many times how many times a week do you guys have sex?

44:27🔗 Caller Well, we work opposite shift right now.

44:29🔗 Adam How many times a week do you guys have sex? Two to three times a week. And this is a low point. Right. I mean, over the course of your eight years, it may have been three or four times a week, right?

44:43🔗 Caller Right. My question is...

44:44🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Let me do some math here. So it seems to be you've had sex like 15 times a month.

44:51🔗 Caller Roughly.

44:53🔗 Adam So like 160 times a year, right?

44:58🔗 Drew It's about a thousand times.

44:59🔗 Adam Times eight. So you faked it like a thousand times.

45:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

45:02🔗 Adam Wow. Bad times. You must be getting good at faking it.

45:06🔗 Caller Well, I don't understand how he can, how he cannot tell.

45:10🔗 Adam But you know what? You're angry at him, aren't you?

45:13🔗 Caller Yes, very.

45:14🔗 Adam Isn't it funny? I mean, not funny, but funny, sad, funny, peculiar that whenever we talk to a woman who has been faking it for a while, she's angry at her husband because she feels like he has forced her, manipulated her to do this. And she's probably mad at herself a little bit.

45:31🔗 Drew Or that he should magically know it.

45:32🔗 Adam He should know.

45:33🔗 Caller Totally, yeah.

45:34🔗 Adam He should know. So listen, this is not going to get any better. You need to just you need to have a conversation with him.

45:40🔗 Drew Stop faking.

45:41🔗 Adam Yeah, just stop faking.

45:42🔗 Caller Well, I have.

45:43🔗 Drew All right.

45:43🔗 Caller I have.

45:44🔗 Drew And now what's happening?

45:45🔗 Caller For quite some time and he doesn't seem to notice.

45:48🔗 Adam What else are you angry at? Are you just angry at him in general for not paying attention, not noticing, checking out?

45:53🔗 Caller Pretty much. And then there's also the added fact that as soon as he's taking care of it, you know, that's it.

45:59🔗 Drew Bedtime.

46:00🔗 Caller No, it's it's a it's a tentative thing. OK, locked out and, you know, in the middle of the day and then at night when we are actually alone and the kids are all in bed and there's nothing. No sparks.

46:10🔗 Caller No, I'm tired.

46:11🔗 Caller I don't feel good. And you have to excuse and I'm tired of being cut off about it.

46:16🔗 Adam You married a guy, right? Yeah, that's what happens. You marry a gay guy next time or Drew or both. Listen, OK, talk to him, talk to him. Yank his chain a little, pull him back. He needs to be...

46:32🔗 Caller How do you approach that?

46:33🔗 Adam Well, OK, here's the deal. Listen, listen, listen. What do you mean you don't want to hurt him? You like to cut his nuts off and shoot it at him out of a pitching machine. It's like a swing at it with a wiffle bat. Listen, Tanya, you're angry at the guy. You might as well just talk to him and you get more angry as when you don't talk to him and this guy doesn't know what's going on. He's a guy on autopilot. He's thinking about work and the Ravens for Christ's sake. So you got to do it. Just talk to him. Just tell him. Tell him you want to be more intimate. Tell him what you need. He'll do it. Give him the chance.

47:10🔗 Caller I've been trying to give him.

47:11🔗 Adam Oh, you have not. Sit down and talk to him. Tell him what you need and stop being offended that he's not figuring it out on his own because he won't.

47:21🔗 Drew But I think ultimately she's pissed off because he's not available emotionally. He's not paying attention. He's not connected. He's not being intimate. That's a hard thing to get a guy to do.

47:30🔗 Adam No.

47:31🔗 Drew This is when women cheat. Right about here.

47:33🔗 Adam Guys will take the path of least resistance. You let him go. You fake your orgasm. You give him a little quickie and out. He's back watching TV. Guy will go down that route.

47:42🔗 Drew But wouldn't you say Tony is on the verge of a cheat?

47:46🔗 Adam Oh, yes. All right. We will take a little break when we come back and we'll speak to Tina, 21, fiance's obsessed with sex. His penis is too big for her. Oh, man. After this.

48:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:33🔗 Adam Can't go wrong with that riff. I love that offspring. Yeah. It's probably the greatest riffs.

48:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

48:42🔗 Adam Yeah. That's all you need. When I start a band, I'm going to cover that one. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. It's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Let's get to Tina, who's 21. Tina.

48:58🔗 Caller Hello.

48:58🔗 Adam Hello.

48:59🔗 Caller Hello.

49:00🔗 Adam Hello.

49:01🔗 Caller Hi.

49:02🔗 Adam Hi, Lo.

49:05🔗 Caller Can you hear me?

49:06🔗 Drew Yes, we can.

49:07🔗 Caller Okay.

49:07🔗 Adam You know the person who keeps saying hello after you say hello?

49:10🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

49:13🔗 Adam What's up, baby?

49:14🔗 Caller Um, only my fiance and I have been together for about a year, and our sex life is not that good. And we've tried everything, and I don't know what to do anymore.

49:27🔗 Drew You what? You don't know what to do anymore? What's the problem?

49:30🔗 Caller Oh, he's very large, and we've tried everything, and it still hurts, and he likes to do it like one, two, three times a day.

49:40🔗 Adam I see. So you're basically being raped with that can of corn two, three times a day.

49:49🔗 Caller Oh, it's not that bad, but it's pretty bad.

49:52🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, having sex with a guy with almost no penis is going to get uncomfortable three times a day.

49:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:00🔗 Adam You know what I mean, Tina?

50:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:03🔗 Adam So...

50:05🔗 Drew Yes?

50:05🔗 Caller What are you saying that I can use to make easier or help with it?

50:11🔗 Drew Were you a virgin before him?

50:12🔗 Caller No.

50:13🔗 Drew Was sex satisfying with someone else?

50:16🔗 Caller Yeah. But it's very satisfying with him once we get into it.

50:19🔗 Drew Adam, help me.

50:21🔗 Adam Now, that's code for he's probably listening. You see what I'm saying? No.

50:27🔗 Caller It's very satisfying with him. But it's like the initial, it hurts and sometimes he rips me. But once we get into it, you know...

50:38🔗 Adam So besides the actual tearing of the vagina, it's satisfying?

50:42🔗 Caller Yeah. Once we get into it more.

50:44🔗 Adam I see. Besides the pesiotomy that he performs on you via his penis, it's enjoyable?

50:50🔗 Drew Three times a day?

50:53🔗 Caller Well, I don't give it to him three times a day. He wants it three times a day.

50:57🔗 Adam All right. How often do you give it to him?

51:01🔗 Caller I try like four times a week or less.

51:05🔗 Adam I see. Okay. So he wants it that much, but you limit him.

51:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:10🔗 Adam You govern his penis.

51:12🔗 Caller Yes.

51:13🔗 Adam Okay. And are you relaxed?

51:17🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

51:18🔗 Adam What I mean is, are you tensed up, sort of anticipating this pain?

51:23🔗 Caller Sometimes.

51:24🔗 Drew That'll make it work.

51:25🔗 Adam That'll exacerbate things. Yeah. Do you use lubrication?

51:29🔗 Caller We've tried numerous ones, but I'm very sensitive and they'll burn.

51:35🔗 Adam Even just water-soluble stuff?

51:37🔗 Caller Yeah. Water-soluble stuff is not as bad as the other stuff that has the semen side, I guess.

51:44🔗 Drew It's bromicide. Semen side.

51:47🔗 Adam Semen side was the name of a detective series from the 70s.

51:53🔗 Drew Got a wheelchair?

51:54🔗 Adam Guy rode around in a wheelchair. Heavy set guy.

51:59🔗 Caller Yes.

52:01🔗 Caller All right.

52:02🔗 Adam Hey Tina.

52:03🔗 Caller That's it.

52:04🔗 Adam There you go, baby.

52:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:06🔗 Adam All right. Well, I think you're going to have to find a lubrication that works for you because that seems like something you're going to need.

52:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:16🔗 Adam You think you could find like, you know, what about going to like the health food store and getting some sort of one that's made of, you know, nothing but, you know, organic material or something.

52:31🔗 Caller They have those kinds?

52:32🔗 Adam I don't know. I think I made that one up. Nature's Grease. I don't know. Write that down, Drew.

52:39🔗 Drew Nature's Lube?

52:40🔗 Adam Nature's Lube. Yeah. It's like being F'd by Mother Nature. We can make a million on the Internet. Ask some of your friends. Go to, I think, go to one of these like health food stores or go to one of these holistic stores or something and ask them for the gentlest, most mild lubricant that they have and try that out.

53:03🔗 Drew I'm also concerned that you may have an infection there already that's causing some of the irritation and you know, if your vagina is so irritated that it burns when you put water in it, basically, that's suspicious that something else might be going on. Do you have pelvic exams regularly?

53:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:18🔗 Drew All right.

53:18🔗 Adam And do you have a small vagina?

53:21🔗 Caller It's tilted back.

53:25🔗 Adam Maybe you're just standing with bad posture.

53:27🔗 Drew No, it's the uterus that's tilted.

53:28🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

53:29🔗 Drew That hurts more.

53:30🔗 Adam It does. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. So you have a big penis. You have some tension in the vagina. You have the lack of a suitable lubricant in a guy with a large Johnson and that spells trouble.

53:46🔗 Drew Capital J.

53:49🔗 Adam Hey, Tina.

53:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:50🔗 Adam You're going to have to work with this. There's no easy fix here. Okay.

53:56🔗 Caller Okay.

53:57🔗 Adam Okay. Why is everything like a couple of beats off?

54:01🔗 Drew It's that night.

54:02🔗 Adam Is it that night? Yeah. Every conversation is like playing handball against the drapes.

54:08🔗 Drew Yeah. Come on. Let's keep going. Let's find somebody to play ball.

54:11🔗 Adam Really?

54:11🔗 Drew Yeah.

54:11🔗 Adam You sure? Because I could do like 20 minutes on it. Anne?

54:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:16🔗 Adam You're 17?

54:17🔗 Caller Yep.

54:18🔗 Adam What's up?

54:19🔗 Caller Well, I told this girl something else just so I can talk to you guys. I'm like, God. Told her that I was completely like screwed up and I had to shoot dogs just so I can talk to you.

54:28🔗 Drew That's nice. What's going on?

54:30🔗 Caller I cannot have an orgasm at all.

54:33🔗 Drew Ever?

54:33🔗 Caller Ever.

54:34🔗 Drew Have you tried?

54:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:35🔗 Drew By yourself?

54:36🔗 Caller By myself? Well, I can have an orgasm by myself, but it's not as good if it was, you know, with somebody else.

54:41🔗 Adam How do you know?

54:42🔗 Caller Because, I mean...

54:44🔗 Drew That's Adam, isn't it?

54:44🔗 Caller It's got to be better. It's got to be better.

54:46🔗 Adam See, you don't know.

54:48🔗 Caller Why are you telling me that it's not?

54:49🔗 Adam How many guys you've been with?

54:51🔗 Caller Eight.

54:52🔗 Adam Eight guys?

54:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:54🔗 Adam That's a hell of a weekend. And have they performed oral sex on you?

54:59🔗 Caller Yeah. I've been with a girl. I've been with a guy I cared about. I've been with a guy with a big penis.

55:04🔗 Adam So you did try being with a guy you cared about once?

55:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:07🔗 Adam And I thought it was a full emotional thing. All right. Check that off the list. Hey, Ann.

55:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

55:14🔗 Adam Let's get away from the orgasm for a second. What's up with you?

55:18🔗 Caller What do you mean? What's up with me?

55:19🔗 Adam You sound a little getting a little energy on video.

55:23🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I've been sitting here and I'm almost falling asleep. And you guys are finally talking to me. So I kind of like woke up here.

55:29🔗 Adam Yeah.

55:30🔗 Caller Where's your dad?

55:31🔗 Caller My dad is in his room sleeping.

55:33🔗 Adam In his room? And is he a good guy? Yeah.

55:39🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, he is. He hasn't done anything to me. So. All right.

55:42🔗 Drew Somebody else like talk to you.

55:45🔗 Caller What do you mean?

55:46🔗 Adam Does he pay attention to you?

55:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:48🔗 Adam He's all right. What's he do for a living?

55:52🔗 Caller For a living? Work from company. I don't know.

55:55🔗 Drew I'm very close with him, aren't you?

55:57🔗 Adam You can see that.

55:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:58🔗 Caller Oh, sure.

55:58🔗 Caller I'm more close to my dad than my mom.

56:00🔗 Caller Uh-uh.

56:01🔗 Adam Now, I can tell you, though, right now, I'll excuse you because, as I've said a million times, I've never had a girlfriend who's known what their dad did. Believe me, your daughter has no idea what you do. And the worst are the dads who are in the military.

56:15🔗 Caller My dad was in the military.

56:16🔗 Adam These guys have purple hearts and they're decorated veterans. And I think he worked on a laundry ship or something. Turns out the guy was in the Marines and he was the head of a tank battalion or something that was rolled on Omaha Beach. But they have like zero idea. Okay, so what about your mom?

56:37🔗 Caller My mom doesn't pay attention to me. She tries, but.

56:40🔗 Adam What, she's too drunk?

56:42🔗 Caller No, most definitely not. My dad takes like six months to finish up a six pack of like Corona. Neither of them drink at all, barely.

56:50🔗 Adam Lightweights.

56:51🔗 Drew What's the problem with mom? What's wrong with your relationship with mom?

56:55🔗 Caller You know, we both try, but it just doesn't work.

56:57🔗 Drew How come?

56:59🔗 Caller Nobody knows. That's the problem.

57:01🔗 Adam Okay. Well, all I'm saying is that, Anne, you're 17 years old, you sound like kind of burnt out and disillusioned with life and stuff.

57:08🔗 Caller How am I disillusioned with life?

57:11🔗 Adam Well, you're saying I tried a guy, you know, who cared. That didn't work. I tried to get a big penis. That didn't work. I tried a girl. That didn't work.

57:19🔗 Caller I'm not trying to fall in love with you. I'm just trying to have some good sex. I mean, why not?

57:24🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying. I mean, you're a 17 year old girl. You're in high school and the most high school girls want to find a guy and fall in love.

57:33🔗 Caller Most.

57:34🔗 Adam Yeah, most. I mean, and then have their orgasm with that guy.

57:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:40🔗 Caller Well, that's it.

57:41🔗 Caller Fall in love with a guy. I mean, we were in a loving relationship. We were in love.

57:45🔗 Caller And what happened?

57:46🔗 Caller It was good, but it wasn't good enough. It was just I mean, we both tried really hard, but it didn't work.

57:51🔗 Adam How'd the relationship end?

57:53🔗 Caller Um, he had to move out of town.

57:56🔗 Adam To a new prison. All right, Anne?

57:59🔗 Caller I don't know if it was a new person. All I know is he left, so.

58:02🔗 Adam I see. OK. There's no easy answer here.

58:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:05🔗 Adam You there's no technique. We're going to give you over the phone.

58:10🔗 Drew Anne is so pissed off.

58:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Why are you so angry?

58:13🔗 Caller I'm pissed off. It's just really funny.

58:15🔗 Drew What's so funny?

58:16🔗 Caller That you can't tell me something like that over the phone.

58:19🔗 Adam Well, if I if you were standing in the same room, I wouldn't be able to tell you either.

58:23🔗 Caller OK.

58:24🔗 Adam When I'm OK.

58:26🔗 Drew And you don't even realize how angry you are.

58:28🔗 Caller I'm not angry. I swear I'm not angry.

58:30🔗 Adam No, you do. I do get that strong vibe from very strong.

58:34🔗 Caller Maybe I'm a negative person and you're just taking it the wrong way. I'm not angry, though.

58:38🔗 Adam And all right. Negative person. I'll take it.

58:40🔗 Drew We'll take we'll use we'll use that same. It's the same thing. You're there's an aggression, a hostility. It's all negative. Yes, very negative.

58:48🔗 Caller Well, I apologize.

58:49🔗 Drew But that's no one loses on that one except you. OK, people don't like negativity. It repels them.

58:56🔗 Adam What's up? Are you doing all right in school?

58:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:59🔗 Adam Are you?

59:00🔗 Caller Yeah, I drink a little too much. But I think I'm just substituting alcohol for the drugs.

59:06🔗 Adam Oh, OK. Well, as long as you're using booze as a substitute for drugs.

59:10🔗 Caller I'm sorry. Good.

59:12🔗 Drew What drugs were you doing?

59:14🔗 Caller A lot of things.

59:16🔗 Adam Like what?

59:17🔗 Caller Well, I did speed.

59:18🔗 Caller I did a lot of math. I did coke.

59:22🔗 Drew Now, the parents that we've been talking about.

59:24🔗 Caller My parents?

59:25🔗 Drew We've been discussing your parents a few minutes ago, right? Those are your biological parents?

59:30🔗 Caller My mom is not my dad.

59:32🔗 Adam Where's your biological dad?

59:35🔗 Caller Somewhere in Hawaii or something. I don't know. I've never even met him.

59:39🔗 Drew He's an alcoholic or an addict.

59:41🔗 Caller Who, my real dad? I don't know. I have no idea who he is. I don't know anything about him.

59:47🔗 Adam All right. Well, that's got to hurt your feelings a little bit, right?

59:51🔗 Caller Probably.

59:52🔗 Adam That he skipped out on the family that way?

59:55🔗 Caller No, it pisses me off because he raped my mother. That's how I was conceived. And for some reason, on some level, she likes to blame me for that.

1:00:04🔗 Caller All right. Well...

1:00:05🔗 Caller Maybe that's why I use drugs.

1:00:07🔗 Drew You use drugs because you're an addict. But you use drugs because you're an addict.

1:00:12🔗 Caller You think I'm an addict?

1:00:13🔗 Drew Oh, absolutely. But that's only...

1:00:14🔗 Caller But I've been doing that all the time.

1:00:15🔗 Drew But that's only part of the story here.

1:00:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:18🔗 Adam Okay. So...

1:00:19🔗 Caller When do you guys usually, like, air this stuff?

1:00:21🔗 Adam A couple of weeks after the Super Bowl.

1:00:24🔗 Caller After the Super Bowl.

1:00:25🔗 Adam Hey, Anne?

1:00:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:27🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:00:27🔗 Adam So there's more going on here, is what I'm saying.

1:00:30🔗 Drew A lot more.

1:00:31🔗 Adam We sense that by talking to you.

1:00:34🔗 Caller You know, I thought I couldn't have an organ because I was always depressed. I didn't know if that was like connected or is it?

1:00:39🔗 Drew Were you on antidepressants?

1:00:41🔗 Caller No.

1:00:42🔗 Drew Well, depression will adversely affect that kind of function.

1:00:45🔗 Adam Anne?

1:00:46🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:00:46🔗 Adam Let me explain something real quick and we got to move on here. As a woman, your brain is wired right into your vagina. You understand? As a man, it turns out my elbow is wired into my penis.

1:01:00🔗 Drew There's a brain-penis bypass.

1:01:01🔗 Adam Don't need my brain. I could be watching home movies of my grandfather's funeral while receiving oral sex and it would not add one second to the session. Do you understand? I could be carrying a casket with my family in it and receiving oral sex on a woman who was on a mechanic's creeper rolling in front of me and I would still be able to orgasm. But as a woman who is conceived from rape, who has a mother who blames her for being born, who has a father who is possibly a substance abuser who has abandoned the family, there's a lot of issues swirling around here. You yourself are into substance abuse, alcohol, that's the stuff you've got to focus on. The orgasm will come when that stuff clears up. You've got to get counseling, you've got to talk to somebody, you have to work on the anger, you have to work on all those issues and then you will find your orgasm. Thank you.

1:01:59🔗 Drew Not an angry person.

1:02:00🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:01🔗 Caller Joe? Hello?

1:02:03🔗 Adam You're 22, what's up?

1:02:04🔗 Drew Hit to see her when she gets angry.

1:02:06🔗 Adam No, we got...

1:02:08🔗 Drew Yeah, we got it.

1:02:08🔗 Adam Listen, Drew and I do this show all night every night and we can always get a vibe off of someone and the fact that we don't see them is a help because it's just their voice and we both got the same vibe off of that call. Go ahead, Joe.

1:02:22🔗 Caller Hello?

1:02:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:02:24🔗 Caller Okay. Well, basically, I mean, I'm 22 and I've never really had like a serious girlfriend. And I guess I'm kind of just really depressed right now.

1:02:40🔗 Adam What's wrong with you?

1:02:44🔗 Caller I don't know. I mean, I have like, I don't know. I guess it's, I mean, it's like a like a total loser, you know, I mean.

1:02:50🔗 Adam Right. But if you were a girl, why would you guess that girls haven't been as attracted to you as they should be?

1:02:58🔗 Caller I guess I guess it's just I don't really like, I mean, I guess I just don't really have any balls sometimes.

1:03:05🔗 I could just kind of that could be part of it.

1:03:07🔗 Adam But what else?

1:03:12🔗 Caller I guess I'm just like a lot of times I'm like off my own world, I guess, like I'm zoning out, you know.

1:03:18🔗 Adam Maybe women don't think you're interested in them.

1:03:22🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, I guess.

1:03:23🔗 Drew Women don't like a burden. They don't like to take care of someone. They like someone who's sort of available to take care of them.

1:03:30🔗 Adam Well they like to fix up guys, but not take care of them.

1:03:33🔗 Drew They can fix them and they can sort of take care of their at their whim, but to really take on a burden. Yeah, it's not sort of up there. You know, you usually like that kind of thing.

1:03:44🔗 Adam Hey, Joe, maybe you're not presenting an attractive package of somebody who people want to spend time with. Right.

1:03:52🔗 Drew I mean, wouldn't Joe be the opposite of the guy that women always describe as being funny and how humor is something they really respond to?

1:04:00🔗 Adam They just say that to make themselves sound mature. It's really women. I'll tell you what women like. They like a nice deep cleft chin and a tight ass. Those are the two top things. I mean, you know, here's all right. Hold on a second. Every time I read the centerfold of the Playboy, here's what it says. What's the girl like? She likes guys who aren't. What are turn offs? Turn offs mean people. Mean people and smokers. What are turn ons? Guys with a sense of humor, guys with a personality.

1:04:28🔗 Caller All right.

1:04:29🔗 Adam Then you see her on Entertainment Tonight with her boyfriend, Surge, a guy who wears a leather vest with no shirt underneath it and shaves. Spent a lot of time in a tan salon and speaks some English because he's from Brazil. You know what I'm talking about? What kind of sense of humor do you figure Surge has with his hair down to his ass, a couple of earrings, and a guy who never leaves the gym? Is that a great sense of humor? No. Does she really care about a sense of humor? Maybe she cares about a sense of irony. That could really be it, Gio.

1:05:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:05🔗 Caller Alright buddy.

1:05:05🔗 Adam So listen, how about you go to a psychiatrist and see about getting on some meds or something like that?

1:05:12🔗 Drew How about that?

1:05:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:13🔗 Caller I mean, I've been doing that. Like I've actually decided, I mean, like when I like talk to girls, like kind of like one-on-one, they're like, you know, wow, you have pretty good personality, you know? And I know they're not just, you know, just saying that to me. But I mean, I have been going to psychologists actually for like six months now.

1:05:33🔗 Drew Oh, good.

1:05:34🔗 All right.

1:05:34🔗 Drew We're doing something about it. That's good.

1:05:36🔗 Yeah.

1:05:36🔗 Drew Hey, Joe, you'll be all right.

1:05:39🔗 Adam You know, this may not be your time.

1:05:42🔗 Yeah.

1:05:43🔗 Drew I mean, with the lady, I wouldn't be surprised if we talked to Adam Corolla at the age of 22, if he wouldn't have sounded like Joe. Oh, you know what I'm saying?

1:05:51🔗 Adam And listen, I guarantee I got less tail than you did.

1:05:54🔗 Drew But you also were depressed at 22. And probably you spoke English less well than Joe did.

1:05:58🔗 Adam Joe, you may not be getting any tail, but I got negative tail. Meaning if I did get laid, I owed that. You understand? I owed Boon Tang. See what I'm saying, Joe? Yeah.

1:06:12🔗 Caller Well, I've done that once myself.

1:06:14🔗 Adam All right. So listen, here's the point. You're doing your work. It takes work. And some guys have different times. Some guys' time. I remember going to school, the best year a guy ever had with chicks was his ninth grade year. You remember those guys? Yeah. They weren't getting laid in the eleventh grade.

1:06:32🔗 Drew Right.

1:06:32🔗 Adam They're getting tons of chicks in the ninth grade. Yeah. I went to high school with guys who didn't get any all the way through high school and somehow blast them when they were 25 or 31 or whatever it is.

1:06:41🔗 Drew Wow.

1:06:42🔗 Adam Joe's an all right guy. This isn't his time.

1:06:44🔗 Drew Right.

1:06:45🔗 Adam That's all.

1:06:45🔗 Drew Agreed.

1:06:46🔗 Caller All right.

1:06:47🔗 Adam But you stick with your therapy and you don't live in this any longer than you have to. Andrew?

1:06:54🔗 Yeah.

1:06:55🔗 Adam You're 21.

1:06:56🔗 Caller Yeah. Man, it's impossible to get through to you guys.

1:06:58🔗 Adam Great.

1:06:59🔗 Drew Here you are.

1:07:00🔗 Caller All right. My question is mainly for Drew. I was just wondering, see, I started when I was 13, I started smoking pot, right?

1:07:06🔗 Drew Right.

1:07:06🔗 Caller And I tell my friends that the only reason that I did it, I had a good childhood. My dad was, he has problems with his anger, but that really, he didn't get it real angry until it was about, you know, about 14, 15. Anyways, I started smoking pot when I was 13. And the main point is that I tell my friends I did it strictly because I was curious about the drug. And they say that there's a causing, you know, they think there's a causing effect for everything. Basically what I'm getting around to is, can people decide, you know, their own ethics and morals? You know, do you and Drew, do you think that there's a reason for every single thing that someone does?

1:07:40🔗 Adam Hold on.

1:07:41🔗 Drew What was the hat?

1:07:42🔗 Adam Who is this, Plato or Socrates? The hell are you talking about, Stoner? Yeah, that's the kind of thoughts you have when you get baked all the time.

1:07:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I know.

1:07:51🔗 Adam As you take a high IQ and you mix it with some some good Mexican green bud, and that's what comes out. I don't know. What's your question?

1:08:04🔗 Caller This whole argument started. We heard a girl call in. She was talking about being in pornography. And I was saying that, you know, I thought it was possible from someone to come from a good home, you know, where their parents, you know, supported them, you know, and they have good values and for them to choose themselves, that they can decide their own values.

1:08:20🔗 Drew It's possible, but it doesn't happen.

1:08:22🔗 Adam It's possible.

1:08:22🔗 Drew Yeah, it just doesn't happen.

1:08:23🔗 Adam It's possible for a guy to come from two loving parents who are empathic and nurture him and for him to be a mass murderer.

1:08:31🔗 Drew Yeah, it's possible.

1:08:32🔗 Adam It's possible. It just never happens.

1:08:34🔗 Drew And, you understand?

1:08:36🔗 Adam Same with pornography.

1:08:37🔗 Drew If you want to know about will, I got a good book for you that teaches about will and emotion, how they interrelate. A book called The Feeling of What Happens by a neurologist. I think his name is... I can't think of his name, but...

1:08:47🔗 Adam John Gusea. I don't know.

1:08:49🔗 Drew It's like Anasio, Tomasio, something like that.

1:08:51🔗 Adam I have...

1:08:52🔗 Drew The Feeling of What Happens. You go ahead and read that book and it talks about how thoughts really build from affect states, from emotional states. And emotional states are built on your early experiences.

1:09:01🔗 Adam I want to recommend a book called The Phantom Tollbooth, which is the only book I've read. I don't know what it says about feeling, but I know there's a dog called Tock, but a clock in him.

1:09:14🔗 Drew And you'll find that your marijuana stuff too, you'll see how that plays out. I can map it out for you now, but you're not open to that.

1:09:21🔗 Caller Right. But you would say that it's possible for someone with a perfectly fine upbringing to make the choice themselves that even though their parents don't support smoking pot or being in pornography, that they can decide their own morals and their own ethics.

1:09:37🔗 Drew Their own morals and their own ethics. Yes, people can decide their own morals. Morals and ethics is an intellectual process, but the behaviors that you choose are often outside of your willful choice.

1:09:49🔗 Adam Well, you could have great parents and have the alcohol gene.

1:09:53🔗 Caller Well, I have that too.

1:09:54🔗 Adam And that could predispose you to marijuana addiction.

1:09:56🔗 Drew That's where the marijuana addiction comes from. And that's why when you smoke pot, you have an entirely different experience from the pot than someone who doesn't have that gene. Right. Because the mere ad in a pot is like not that big a deal.

1:10:07🔗 Adam Oh, how dare you?

1:10:08🔗 Drew No, it's not like compared to the addicts. They go, whoa, it's like, oh, this is great.

1:10:11🔗 Adam Yeah. I wish I had that just like three days out of the month.

1:10:14🔗 Drew Wouldn't that be nice? But then you'd be obsessing about it all the time.

1:10:17🔗 Adam Yeah, I smoke weed. All I do is eat and lose when I play cards.

1:10:22🔗 Caller I can't figure the game out.

1:10:25🔗 Adam I get stoned and play poker, you know?

1:10:28🔗 Drew Like you're playing fish or war.

1:10:30🔗 Adam I hold the four and take the pair of kings and throw them down. It's like playing with a retarded kid.

1:10:37🔗 Caller All right.

1:10:39🔗 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. Alicia is waiting on hold first. She's 18. Whenever her boyfriend goes in deep, she gets sharp pains in her stomach after this.

1:10:55🔗 Caller Love Line will be right back.

1:11:14🔗 Adam 100.7 The Buzz That's Anderson's favorite part of the show, when I break a little wind in the old Mike Ruski.

1:11:33🔗 Caller Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla.

1:11:36🔗 Caller Mike Ruski.

1:11:38🔗 Adam That's what I call it when I fart on it.

1:11:39🔗 Drew What was it that Ace Rockolla called the Yeasty?

1:11:43🔗 Adam The Yeasty and the Pegaroosky?

1:11:47🔗 Caller All right.

1:11:48🔗 Adam Pegaroosky, the Yeasty and the Pegaroosky. Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That's, where are we here? Drew, over here.

1:11:58🔗 Drew Alyssa, let's go.

1:11:58🔗 Adam There we go. Alyssa, you're 18.

1:12:03🔗 Caller Basically, the situation is that I've been sexually active for over a year. And for the past few months, whenever my boyfriend penetrates deeply, I get a really sharp pain in my stomach.

1:12:14🔗 Drew Which will be normal.

1:12:16🔗 Caller Okay.

1:12:17🔗 Drew You've never had that before?

1:12:18🔗 Caller No. Before, it would be pleasurable. It hurts.

1:12:22🔗 Drew I see. Okay. Well, have you had a pelvic exam recently?

1:12:27🔗 Caller No.

1:12:28🔗 Drew Well, you ought to go get one. Because there can be inflammations or infections of the cervix, or the uterus, or even the tubes that you need to know about and have treated.

1:12:35🔗 Caller Okay.

1:12:36🔗 Drew So I'm going to check that out. And that's just a sign that that might be what's going on. It's not a big deal, but it's something to definitely look into. Because if it is something that, say, is up in the tube, it could affect your fertility.

1:12:45🔗 Adam Same penis, same ass, driving it, same everything. Yes?

1:12:51🔗 Caller Yeah, I've only been with one guy.

1:12:54🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:12:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:12:55🔗 Adam Nice.

1:12:56🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm pretty adjusted compared to most of your other callers, so.

1:12:59🔗 Drew Why are you calling the show a lesson?

1:13:01🔗 Caller Yes.

1:13:02🔗 Caller It was fun to listen to.

1:13:03🔗 Adam Oh, really?

1:13:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:04🔗 Adam Yeah, it's miserable when you're here, though.

1:13:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I've heard, like, some of your earlier callers, they were kind of weird, but.

1:13:09🔗 Drew Oh, tonight, eesh.

1:13:10🔗 Adam Real downer. Oh, thank God, I don't care.

1:13:13🔗 Caller Okay, well, thanks.

1:13:14🔗 Adam All right. Okay, good times, baby. I'll get you up at five tomorrow morning.

1:13:18🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:13:19🔗 Adam What radio junkie? Oh, you know, it drives me insane. I tell everyone I go, listen, and Drew, stop me if I'm way out of line here, but back me up. I mean, just let everyone know I'm not lying. I tell people when it comes to this business, I'll do whatever you want, but I'm not going to do it an hour before I need to do it. I beat people over the head with that, and it makes me come across like a prick. It really does. I think I'm a prima donna in a hole, and they think I'm trying to get out of something, but I always show up and I always put out, my only request is don't call me until you need me, and then when you call, I'll be a total pro, but don't call me two hours in advance. Anyway, last time we did a radio junket, I said listen, what time does our first one start? 5, 10 in the morning. I said listen, I'm going to go to bed, I'm going to leave the ringer on in my phone, which is very rare for me, and you'll call me a minute before we go on the air, that will wake me up and we'll pick up the phone and I'll do the interview all day, and you have to do like 18 radio stations, fine, until like 10 in the morning, right? Last time I did this, I got a call from the Comedy Central Publishers, 4.30. No, 5, to tell me that the first two stations were canceled, and that would be about an hour or so, or whatever, I'm like, you know.

1:14:47🔗 Drew Did you go off?

1:14:48🔗 Adam I was, I was so out of it, I was like so tired, yes, I did yell at them. Don't call to tell me you don't need to call, that's all I'm saying.

1:14:57🔗 Drew I just remember sitting with you in New York for a 7 p.m. taping of Conan.

1:15:04🔗 Adam Yes.

1:15:04🔗 Drew You and I were sitting there at 3.30 in the afternoon.

1:15:06🔗 Adam That's right. It's important that you stew in your own juices for a long time. It really helps bring out the performance when you sit on your ass for three hours before you hit the stage.

1:15:18🔗 Caller Mike?

1:15:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:19🔗 Adam You're 24, what's up?

1:15:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Hi. I'd just like to say I listen to you guys a lot. Thanks. I used to do you on MTV. I don't have cable and you're not on the air anyway. Yeah. Anyway.

1:15:31🔗 Adam Perfect timing.

1:15:34🔗 Caller My girlfriend, she babysits these two boys. One of them is like six or seven, the other one's 11 and they like to put on her clothes.

1:15:46🔗 Drew Yeah. And they may just think it's funny.

1:15:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:15:49🔗 Caller But it's, they will, they beg her. It's like they come over and it's like, hey, let me put on your clothes and they won't leave her alone until she does it.

1:15:57🔗 Drew And they don't take off her clothes that she's wearing and put them on.

1:16:02🔗 Caller They like, they rummage her closet and they, they snag her dresses. They want to try on, you know, everything she owns and they do this of like their own free will. It's like they come in and they ask.

1:16:13🔗 Adam Yeah. Do they play sports?

1:16:15🔗 Caller Um, yeah, they're one of them was in softball and one was soccer.

1:16:19🔗 Adam Oh, I was about to say soccer. That's gay. That's all you need to know. Yeah. Soccer. All right. Softball and soccer. Just wondering what might be up with that because well, listen, it's not the world's most encouraging sign as a parent, but I've heard worse. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

1:16:39🔗 Caller Because they don't mind her seeing them in women's clothing. But if like her brother comes home or I come around, they completely freak out.

1:16:47🔗 Adam Well, see, now that's an interesting point. Think about that, Drew. Them, you know, young kids wanting to play dress up, wanting to cross dress or what have you. It's almost a natural instinct. I don't have any problem with that. I really don't. But freaking out when a guy sees them, that would suggest there's some guilt there or there's some feeling.

1:17:08🔗 Drew Something naughty about it.

1:17:09🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

1:17:10🔗 Adam All right.

1:17:11🔗 Drew It's just hard to. It's hard to say with any certainty what it means. That's the reality.

1:17:16🔗 Adam Yeah. Let me say, hey, Mike, Mike. Yeah. Wouldn't it be funny if one of these kids like the was 11 year old, the eight year old, six year old, six year old, like a six year old got dressed up when your girlfriend said nice dresses and then you came home drunk one night. Oh, please. And you like raped the six year old.

1:17:37🔗 Drew Hey, that's a good time. Nice thought.

1:17:40🔗 Adam And you didn't even know it. Wouldn't it be funny?

1:17:42🔗 Caller Oh, that would be hilarious.

1:17:44🔗 Adam Like you're like you're like pulled the skirt up when. Yeah, you're going to love this right in the corn hole, just like we always do. And the kid was like, no, no, you're like, oh, stop with the baby voice. You're getting me hard.

1:17:57🔗 Caller The older one than Ultra Boy, too.

1:18:00🔗 Adam Oh, like, what if you raped him and he was his ultra boy outfit?

1:18:03🔗 Caller Oh, that would be hideous.

1:18:06🔗 Adam Yeah, don't do that. Boy, this guy screwed up.

1:18:10🔗 Drew Boy, Adam, I can see why you would have problems thinking anyone else beside yourself is funny.

1:18:18🔗 Adam James?

1:18:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:20🔗 Adam You're 21. What's up?

1:18:21🔗 Caller Uh, yeah.

1:18:23🔗 Caller Okay.

1:18:23🔗 Caller Thanks for that visual there.

1:18:25🔗 Caller Um, hey, I'm 21 years old.

1:18:27🔗 Caller All righty.

1:18:28🔗 Adam Just hang on for a second. There's nothing more annoying to me than that. Uh, a little more information than we needed. Uh, Mr. Corolla. That, that kind of drives me insane.

1:18:40🔗 Drew That's what your teacher spoke to you, I'm sure, in high school.

1:18:43🔗 Adam James. No, it's one of those, it's one of those chick things. It's a good-looking chick thing. You're like, you're talking about something, and you go, oh man, I was in the shower, I got my pecker caught in the zip-up. Uh, little more information than we needed. I hate those guys. I just sat at a table and talked to guys about, about whacking off for like two hours in fecal matter and stuff at dinner.

1:19:07🔗 Drew Nice.

1:19:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Joe.

1:19:09🔗 Drew Good times.

1:19:09🔗 Adam Good times.

1:19:10🔗 Caller Hello?

1:19:11🔗 Adam Joe, you're 24. Yeah, hold on, James, we'll get back to you in just one second. Joe, go ahead.

1:19:16🔗 Caller Adam Corolla, you are great.

1:19:18🔗 Adam This is my kind of guy.

1:19:21🔗 Caller Thank you. I love The Man Show.

1:19:25🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:19:25🔗 Caller And just love your philosophy and I love it when you go off on a rant. Oh, all right.

1:19:31🔗 Adam Well, I got to limit those, but thank you, Joe.

1:19:34🔗 Caller And Dr. Drew, you do incredible work and you do have the patience of Joe.

1:19:40🔗 Drew Thank you. What's your question time?

1:19:41🔗 Adam And he's passionate. Very passionate.

1:19:44🔗 Caller And one of the things real quick, the show just sounds entirely too clinical without Anderson being able to play his soundbites.

1:19:51🔗 Adam Yes. We will slowly, we'll slowly weave that back in.

1:19:57🔗 Caller Couple of weeks ago, my wife was getting over a cold and she used some Vicks Vapo-Rub in the way that it says on the bottle. She forgot she had the residue on her hands. And as we were going to bed, she reached over and started stroking me and all of a sudden, I was like, whoa, what is that? And she said, oh my God, I'm sorry, I forgot, does it burn? And I said, it's pretty intense, but it feels good. So she kept doing that and eventually we had sex and it was like really, really intense. And I was just wondering if there was, you know, anything harmful about it.

1:20:33🔗 Drew It had been too fresh.

1:20:35🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:36🔗 Drew Yeah, it could burn.

1:20:37🔗 Adam Yeah, but okay. But there is that sort of fine line between pleasure and pain, you know, and that sometimes comes into the bedroom. And what would be wrong with walking that fine line?

1:20:50🔗 Drew You could easily cross over and burn either him or her. And I suspect it's more just that.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Is a woman though, would that hurt a woman? I mean, I know it could, I know it could. But I mean, are we talking about yeast infection?

1:21:02🔗 Drew And burn.

1:21:03🔗 Adam No, no, but I'm talking about if you use a very moderate amount and a diluted amount of quiet and you introduced it to that area, beside the actual burning, could there be, you know, infection?

1:21:18🔗 Drew Yes, also, as well as burning. But listen, she all had some residual on her hand, just hadn't washed it with soap and water and it caused burning on him.

1:21:25🔗 Adam Yeah, I know, I know. I mean, you gotta work it out.

1:21:28🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:21:29🔗 Adam This is like anything that's good, you know.

1:21:31🔗 Drew I think it's just for him. It's just that she did something different.

1:21:34🔗 Caller I mean, it's intense.

1:21:35🔗 Adam I'll go for Loveline. Hey, James.

1:21:38🔗 Caller Yo, what's up?

1:21:38🔗 Adam He's 21. What's going on?

1:21:40🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm 21 years old and I cannot get off on oral sex. I've had...

1:21:44🔗 Caller No.

1:21:45🔗 Caller I know.

1:21:46🔗 Adam I knew I didn't like this, James. Yes. I know.

1:21:49🔗 Caller It's why I'm calling.

1:21:49🔗 Caller I need help, dude.

1:21:50🔗 Adam Well, yeah.

1:21:52🔗 Caller I've tried, you know, all sorts of things. I have a girlfriend that I really care about. And I've tried all sorts of stuff and I don't know.

1:22:00🔗 Caller You know, it's supposed to be just this great thing. I don't know, dude.

1:22:03🔗 Caller I'm not not getting any satisfaction from it. I wonder, you know, am I doing something wrong or not?

1:22:08🔗 Adam Do you enjoy it?

1:22:10🔗 Caller I think it's great. But it's just I just can't get nothing from it.

1:22:13🔗 Drew She'll be going and it's, you know, there are a lot of guys like this.

1:22:16🔗 Adam Plenty.

1:22:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:17🔗 Adam Plenty.

1:22:17🔗 Drew It's a common thing.

1:22:18🔗 Adam Plenty of gay. I mean, no big deal.

1:22:20🔗 Drew No big deal. Didn't mean anything.

1:22:22🔗 Adam Yes. Doesn't mean it, homo. Doesn't mean anything. Is there anything I could do to like- No, no. It's really, it's fine. It's gay. It's fine, homo. It's fine. It's queer. Sit. Totally, totally normal. Tell you what, Flashback. Totally, many, many, many, many homosexually have this feeling and it's nothing that you shouldn't be able to work through with your life partner. No, James, it's fine.

1:22:49🔗 Caller It's no problem.

1:22:51🔗 Adam Now, a lot of guys, I have friends who would do this, or this way, and I go nuts whenever they tell me or when I hit them. They're driving me insane.

1:22:59🔗 Drew You actually hit them, I know it.

1:23:00🔗 Adam I like the oral sex. I like the thought of it, you know? I always think, God bless you. God bless you. Look at you. That's beautiful. Taking that kind of time. You know? Hey, but James, not your thing. That's fine. You like sex, right?

1:23:17🔗 Caller Oh, God, I love it.

1:23:18🔗 Adam Yeah, you like women?

1:23:19🔗 Caller Oh, hell yeah.

1:23:20🔗 Adam That's fine. Listen, hey, Drew, what about this? What do you think about this theory?

1:23:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:27🔗 Adam This James, he really loves sex. He really loves intercourse. And I got...

1:23:32🔗 Drew I can't wait to get to that. Yeah.

1:23:34🔗 Adam No, here's... I have this theory. I have this theory that you have a sort of finite amount of lust.

1:23:39🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:40🔗 Adam Like we all like sex a certain amount or contact a certain amount. A guy like me is split down the middle.

1:23:47🔗 Drew Oral sex. Yeah.

1:23:48🔗 Adam Intercourse. Yeah. I like them both, but I'm not overwhelmed with either one of them.

1:23:52🔗 Drew Right. You can't be all about one and all about the other equally.

1:23:56🔗 Adam I don't think you can.

1:23:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:58🔗 Adam I think it's kind of like there's a certain amount and you could put 25% on your penis and 75% on the vagina.

1:24:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:06🔗 Adam 25% on the mouth and you know what I'm saying?

1:24:08🔗 Drew There's something to that, yeah.

1:24:09🔗 Adam So, I think this guy James, while he's sort of feeling that he's getting short shrift here, the reality is he really digs sex and that'll work for him. That's his, that's God's gift to him, you know, the intercourse. All right. Let's see what Christine is doing. Hey, Christine?

1:24:30🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:24:31🔗 Adam You're 25? I'm 26. Oh, 26. Yeah.

1:24:35🔗 Caller All right.

1:24:36🔗 Adam It's not wrong. What's up?

1:24:39🔗 Caller Well, I was calling because I'm, not now, but in about two years, I'm planning on getting a breast reduction.

1:24:46🔗 Adam All right. That gives us 24 months.

1:24:50🔗 Drew Of bliss?

1:24:51🔗 Adam Yes.

1:24:51🔗 Drew Together.

1:24:52🔗 Caller Maybe you're bliss, not mine. But I'm really kind of concerned about it. I mean, obviously, I've never had an operation before, and I want to, I want to, I don't know, I want to find out about the probability, the possibility of losing the feeling in my nipples.

1:25:09🔗 Adam What size are you?

1:25:11🔗 Caller Right now, I'm like a double D, a good double D.

1:25:16🔗 Adam Let's get your measurements.

1:25:19🔗 Caller Well, the reason I want to wait two years is because-

1:25:21🔗 Adam How tall are you, please?

1:25:23🔗 Caller How tall am I? I'm tall and six foot two and a half.

1:25:31🔗 Adam Six foot two and a half.

1:25:33🔗 Caller Six foot two and a half. I measured myself in my physics lab the other day, so I know that's how I am. Actually, she said I was six foot two and three quarters, but I know I'm six foot two and a half.

1:25:44🔗 Adam Brainy. Physics? That's a study of fizz? What do you guys look at, Soda? I don't even know what physics is, but I know it's a smart class. Six, almost six three.

1:25:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:59🔗 Adam Double D, above a double D.

1:26:01🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:26:02🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk about the rest of you. Hold on a second. I'm picturing like one of the gargantuan's.

1:26:09🔗 Drew I'm incredible four.

1:26:10🔗 Adam I'm picturing like Shaq. Yeah. Right now. I don't know why. Couldn't be true just to be. Hold on. Hey, Christine?

1:26:19🔗 Caller I swear to God, I am that tall.

1:26:21🔗 Caller I am taller than you. I know.

1:26:23🔗 Adam I know. But are you that wide, too?

1:26:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:25🔗 Caller I'm here. I am a big girl.

1:26:27🔗 Adam Okay. All right. Hold on a second.

1:26:29🔗 Caller Okay.

1:26:30🔗 Adam We got to take a break.

1:26:31🔗 Caller Okay.

1:26:32🔗 Adam I'm going to talk to my penis to decide whether to masturbate or not. The jury's still out. And then we're going to come back. We'll figure out what to do with those brass ears. All right?

1:26:39🔗 Caller Okay.

1:26:40🔗 Adam Like photograph them.

1:26:41🔗 Caller No problem.

1:26:42🔗 Adam All right. Hold on. We'll be back after this. GIO Get It On by Dr. Drew Loveline and Dr. Drew Loveline. And for all it's Dr. Drew over there. Forget about the phone number. I need an answer to a question. Anderson, Lauren, you guys listening?

1:27:29🔗 Caller What?

1:27:32🔗 Adam Somebody call in and tell me this answer, but I'm gonna ask you guys first. What is it called? What is this process called? What is the technique called? When you take a shirt that you're gonna tie-dye and you like paint on it with wax, like love or your name or your initials, and then you put it in a tie-dye solution so that the tie-dye does not take on the wax part and you get your tie-dyed shirt with like a print, with printing on it. We're way too young. It's called something. And I can't think of what it's called. Drew is, you know what my life is, the hell that is my life? I always have people that are younger than me that claim we have no idea who Doug Henning is because we're too young. And then there's Drew is five years older than me who has no idea who whoever it is I'm talking about is either. And I can't now I'm screwed because the young and the old.

1:28:24🔗 Drew Yeah, that's your life.

1:28:25🔗 Adam That's right.

1:28:26🔗 Caller Lauren Gillian, Puffy Puffy Pants.

1:28:28🔗 Adam Puffy Pants?

1:28:30🔗 Drew Puffy Pants.

1:28:30🔗 Caller Puffy Pants.

1:28:31🔗 Adam Puffy Pants. No. What is this called? If someone is listening, Lauren, if somebody knows the name of this, it's a name. It's like, it's not Deca-Page, but it's something like that. All right. Christine?

1:28:43🔗 Caller It's called Batik. To Batik.

1:28:46🔗 Adam Batik.

1:28:47🔗 Caller When they drip the wax on there.

1:28:48🔗 Adam Right. Right. Thank you. Thank you.

1:28:52🔗 Caller No problem.

1:28:53🔗 Adam All right. Do you guys feel stupid? She didn't even call in to give this answer.

1:28:56🔗 Drew She's 26.

1:28:57🔗 Adam Okay. What's the average age? How old are you?

1:29:00🔗 Caller They made me lie.

1:29:01🔗 Drew I'm sorry.

1:29:02🔗 Caller I'm 33.

1:29:04🔗 Adam 33.

1:29:05🔗 Caller And I used to. My mother was the chairman of an art thing in my town when I grew up, so I know a lot about it.

1:29:12🔗 Drew What are you still doing in school?

1:29:14🔗 Caller Well, I'm a little slow. I've been working on my undergraduate degree for like 15 years and I'm gonna finish. I'm working full time. I go to school at night.

1:29:23🔗 Adam It's called boutiquing.

1:29:25🔗 Caller Boutique.

1:29:25🔗 Drew B-H-I-K.

1:29:26🔗 Adam Boutique. It's like French.

1:29:28🔗 Caller Yeah. It's B-A-T-I-K.

1:29:31🔗 Drew Boutique. So, you're 6'3. How much do you weigh?

1:29:38🔗 Caller A lot.

1:29:39🔗 Adam Well, just for fun.

1:29:40🔗 Drew Come on.

1:29:40🔗 Caller All right. I'll tell you what. Okay.

1:29:42🔗 Adam I mean, I don't lie.

1:29:43🔗 Caller I weigh like 250.

1:29:45🔗 Adam All right. 6'3, 250. Geez, I wish I was that size when I played football. I know. I can't. You're off the chart. A radio math would be 7'2, 400 pounds.

1:29:57🔗 Caller Actually, a lot of people say I'm pretty, but I know that right now I'm really heavy. I mean, I haven't been this heavy for... I just... In the last couple of years, I've gained weight.

1:30:06🔗 Drew Do your breasts go down when you lose the weight?

1:30:08🔗 Caller Well, they've always been big, even when I was really young. So, yeah, no. They will go down some, but that's why I don't want to get it done for a couple of years.

1:30:17🔗 Drew You want to lose the weight first?

1:30:18🔗 Caller Right.

1:30:19🔗 Drew Okay.

1:30:20🔗 Adam Well, listen, many women have this process done. Some have the claim they lose a little sensation. Some don't. I don't know, go talk to a reputable surgeon and see what he has to do. I mean, you know, talk to his referrals.

1:30:36🔗 Caller What about breastfeeding? I mean, if I were to have kids, I don't know that I'm gonna, but...

1:30:40🔗 Drew I believe you can continue breastfeeding.

1:30:42🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:30:42🔗 Caller You can?

1:30:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:44🔗 Adam They wouldn't even do it if that was the case.

1:30:48🔗 Caller Well...

1:30:48🔗 Adam In women, it was sort of pre-childbearing years or of childbearing years.

1:30:52🔗 Caller Is that true, Dr. Drew?

1:30:53🔗 Drew I believe that's true.

1:30:54🔗 Adam Now listen, you're talking to a guy who doesn't know anything over here.

1:30:57🔗 Caller Sorry. It's not that I don't trust you, Adam. I think you're right.

1:30:59🔗 Adam No, no. Drew is the world's smartest idiot. Oh, my God. I could fit what he knows into a thimble. Listen.

1:31:08🔗 Caller I trust you when it comes to learning how to be like a better flirt or something.

1:31:12🔗 Adam Thank. I know. Why? Why? Okay. Forget it. Forget it. I'm punished for knowing everything. That's right. The rantings of a mad man. Thank you for knowing about the boutiqueing. Boutique. Boutique. It didn't take me. I thought it was going to take all night and part of Sunday. This is very satisfying for me.

1:31:31🔗 Drew Thanks, Christine.

1:31:32🔗 Adam Listen.

1:31:33🔗 Caller You're welcome.

1:31:33🔗 Adam Listen. Drop.

1:31:34🔗 Caller I love you guys.

1:31:34🔗 Adam We love you. Now drop that weight. Come on. It's for your health too.

1:31:38🔗 Caller Then I'll move out there and marry you.

1:31:40🔗 Adam Okay. Yes. You never see any giants past the age of like 45 years old.

1:31:44🔗 Drew Remember you had the train station at Ann Arbor?

1:31:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:46🔗 Drew Train goes right by.

1:31:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:49🔗 Adam It's a good night. It's a good meal. We went out there with a bunch of people, right?

1:31:53🔗 Drew No, no. Just us because we were at Eastern Michigan or something.

1:31:56🔗 Adam Well, we went to another train station another time with some people.

1:32:02🔗 Drew Probably.

1:32:03🔗 Adam Right by the old Trestle Bridge?

1:32:05🔗 Drew Yes. Yes. By the river?

1:32:08🔗 Adam Right.

1:32:09🔗 Caller Hey.

1:32:10🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

1:32:12🔗 Caller I get really wet during the day when I'm doing normal things and when I have sex with my boyfriend, it's so wet that he can't even feel anything and I'm wondering if what can I do or if that's a problem.

1:32:28🔗 Drew Is it a problem for him?

1:32:30🔗 Caller No. He likes it.

1:32:31🔗 Drew Is it a problem for you? Yeah. Why?

1:32:33🔗 Caller Because I'm wet all the time like during the day.

1:32:36🔗 Drew Wear a pad.

1:32:38🔗 Caller Excuse me?

1:32:38🔗 Drew You just wear a pad, right?

1:32:40🔗 Caller I can't stand those.

1:32:42🔗 Adam Why? What's the big deal?

1:32:43🔗 Drew Oh, Adam, if you had to wear a pad for three minutes. Listen, if I had to change a pad just once, I'd never wear it.

1:32:49🔗 Adam First off, how dare you and how dare you? Now, if I had to wear a tampon, I would be pissed off. Pad, you just stuff in your pants.

1:33:00🔗 Drew Think about you with a tampon. You'd have like 12 of them packed in there before you realized there's time to change.

1:33:05🔗 Adam Well, what do you mean? I figured I'd be using the same one for six months. Hey, Tom, I rinse it out, hung it outside, hung it out, hung it off the car antenna, dried out real good.

1:33:16🔗 Drew Nice.

1:33:17🔗 Adam Hey, Aaron. Yeah, you got to use a pad. I mean, there's really nothing you can do to shut yourself down.

1:33:23🔗 Caller But is it normal?

1:33:24🔗 Drew It's usually considered sort of a good thing.

1:33:26🔗 Adam Yeah, some people are this way. We've heard it a bunch. Hey, what about taking something that dries her up a little bit?

1:33:34🔗 Drew I don't think there is anything, really.

1:33:36🔗 Adam Well, let me ask you this, Drew. There are medications.

1:33:40🔗 Drew I mean, they can dehydrate her, but that's not a good thing.

1:33:44🔗 Adam OK, for instance, there's a medication you would take if you wet your bed.

1:33:47🔗 Drew Yeah, there's nothing like that for this.

1:33:49🔗 Adam Is it not connected at all?

1:33:51🔗 Drew Not connected at all.

1:33:52🔗 Adam That is not excess fluid or has anything to do with the hydration system of the body?

1:33:57🔗 Drew No, the medicines you take with the pain at night is something that just shuts your kidneys down from producing the fluid.

1:34:05🔗 Adam There's nothing else that dehydrates you.

1:34:07🔗 Drew There are things that dehydrate you but they're very unhealthy for you to be dehydrated.

1:34:10🔗 Adam Well, what about booze? That dehydrates you. Sue? You're 23.

1:34:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:18🔗 Adam What's up?

1:34:21🔗 Caller Well, basically, I've been engaged for four years now. Um, I have great sex with my fiancé, um, but basically, he enjoys, well, he wants anal sex and every time I try it, it just, it hurts way too bad.

1:34:37🔗 Drew That would be normal. Did you say you've been engaged for four years?

1:34:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:40🔗 Drew That's kind of weird, isn't it?

1:34:41🔗 Caller Well, I'm not ready. I'm in no hurry. I'm 23.

1:34:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, not, not with the sodomy king. I've seen your a-hole over there. Yeah.

1:34:52🔗 Caller My question is, I, okay, like girls that I work with, you know, I guess the environment that I work in, it's just common to talk about sex kind of.

1:35:00🔗 Adam And you work in an anal-friendly environment.

1:35:03🔗 Caller No, I'm an exotic dancer. So the dressing room, it's kind of, oh boy, you know, talk about it a little bit of everything. But they, there's certain girls there that just kind of talk about it. They actually enjoy it.

1:35:13🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:35:14🔗 Drew And you don't, that's fine.

1:35:16🔗 Caller Is there anything you can do or use or try or?

1:35:19🔗 Adam Well, you rub some coke on your sphincter. It should have juiced up pretty good.

1:35:24🔗 Caller I mean, really.

1:35:25🔗 Adam Take a sitz bath. Listen, hey Sue, listen, we talked to, we talked to someone last week who had some tearing down there and may not be right again.

1:35:33🔗 Drew May have to have a colostomy.

1:35:34🔗 Adam It was like 19, okay? This is not something you enjoy. It hurts you.

1:35:39🔗 Drew Don't do it.

1:35:40🔗 Adam That's fine. All right? You don't have to be everything to every guy. You understand me? Why don't you take the pressure off yourself? Stop worrying about being so alluring to men all the time. Just relax. This guy loves you. He loves you. Not because he's doing you in the can. All right? Okay. All right, screwball. There you have it. Another fabulous week of Loveline. I'm so tired. I can't believe I can get over five in the morning. I'm pre, you know what one of my best qualities is? One of the things I'm most proficient at, being pre-miserable. I'm pre-miserable for tomorrow.

1:36:37🔗 Drew Most people just call that whiny.

1:36:39🔗 Adam Is that what you call it?

1:36:39🔗 Drew Jennifer Blanc from Dark Angel up here next, Anderson Cooper from The Mole.

1:36:43🔗 Adam I'm miserable right now, and it's not 5 a.m. You understand? I'll go to bed miserable.

1:36:48🔗 Drew You're making me miserable just hearing about it.

1:36:50🔗 Adam Be real is coming in. Jeremy McGrath is coming in.

1:36:53🔗 Drew At some point.

1:36:54🔗 Adam What? What? What? How dare you? What? Don't make me get on the phone. Is that really? That's it. No. All right. This will not do. All right. Jeremy McGrath, I'll get him in here if I have to drag him in kicking and screaming. So I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job. Look at her little kitten. Look at her. Look at her.

1:37:14🔗 Drew Hey, we're going to lose our satellite connection in a second.

1:37:15🔗 Adam All night long, loving her. Loving her. Producer Ann doing a fantabulous job as per usual, balancing the motherhood and the producing. And of course, the man who's, well, he's really been demoted down to private over here. But just his presence alone is powerful. Very powerful on the show. Powerful and passionate. And Engineer Anderson. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:37:41🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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