Wednesday, January 17, 2001

1:02🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast. Yep, it is the Loveline.

1:15🔗 Voiceover I'm Adam Corolla. He is Dr. Drew. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Tax number, that is if we put paper in it, is 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And our guest, who was going to be Vinny Jones from Snatch, cannot make it in tonight. He's fallen ill or his schedule will not permit it. I don't know what the deal is. As you know though, Drew, I'm one of the few talk show hosts in America who does not like guests and I'm fine when no one shows up.

1:49🔗 Drew Usually lean into them a little bit though when they don't show.

1:52🔗 Adam Don't care. Less work for me. That's the way I look at it. To me, when a guest doesn't show up here at my job, it's like...

1:59🔗 Drew One page of reading, you don't have to do.

2:01🔗 Adam Well, a couple of pages. I don't read the whole bio page. How dare you? But no, I feel like when I was back in school and I had a substitute teacher, or we're showing a film during one of the class, get to relax. It's a weird way to go through life, constantly looking for that little opening to get out. Do you know what I mean? Did you go through a school that way?

2:22🔗 Drew Not exactly.

2:23🔗 Adam You didn't?

2:23🔗 Drew Got over that about third grade.

2:25🔗 Adam Really?

2:25🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

2:26🔗 Adam Oh, Jesus. I was in high school. And if there was a substitute, I'd open the door and I'd see a strange person standing behind the teacher's desk wearing funky glasses and some bad jeans. And I'd go, Oh, my God. Light would come up above their head. And it was always, where's Mrs. Parker? I'm filling in for her. That's great. And for a couple of days, a couple of weeks, not just today. OK, that's good. That's still good.

2:51🔗 Drew Unfortunately, it happens when you go through a kind of training I had, you realize there is no escape. It's just punishment.

2:56🔗 Adam Not me. I was my high school. My academic career was sort of the equivalent to what the boxers call the rope a dope. Just sort of leaning back and seeing what I could avoid without mounting any offense or putting my hands up. Henry?

3:13🔗 Oh, hi.

3:14🔗 Adam You're 21. What's up?

3:15🔗 Caller Hey, I just want to say you guys are really great, Adam. You're super funny. Drew, you're really smart and I really appreciate the work that you do.

3:24🔗 Adam Thank you.

3:25🔗 Caller I'm kind of nervous here. I just want to ask you kind of a simple question. See, I'm a virgin and I want to know if sex for the sake of sex alone is a healthy, it's just healthy. I mean, Dr. Drew, would you agree that sex by sexual intercourse alone with no emotional involvement, no emotional investment, which is really what we seem to be looking at society today?

3:53🔗 Drew It's sort of what God intended for us, though. No, it can be healthy. The problem is that people overdo that. That becomes what sex is to them. And rather than something they can choose or not choose to do, it becomes a way of maintaining... I don't want to use words that are too ridiculous, but I would say homeostasis, maintaining, managing your feelings. Sex becomes a way of a drug. That's not healthy. Now, for somebody to have sexual intercourse and not be in love with somebody, that's a personal choice.

4:26🔗 Adam Guys can pull this off better than women can, but what's your story, Henry?

4:31🔗 Caller Well, my story is that because I seem to have reactions like women do, where I've had a bunch of opportunities to have sex, and I just don't follow through because I just sometimes feel, not an inner voice or anything like that, corny like that, but I just simply feel like I can't do it. I mean, I feel like if I would do it, I would just feel really empty and I would just continue doing it like a snowball. And so, I don't know, I just...

5:05🔗 Adam Snowballs when you rape a chick in the Montana woods during winter. Hey, Henry?

5:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:11🔗 Adam You gay?

5:12🔗 Caller No, a lot of people think I am, though.

5:14🔗 Adam Yeah, well.

5:15🔗 Caller I mean, all my best friends thought...

5:17🔗 Adam We're living in a democracy, you know, Henry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's put it to a vote.

5:21🔗 Caller My best friend said, hey, if you don't have sex, too, you're gay. All right.

5:26🔗 Adam Are you? Well, you're gay until proven otherwise.

5:28🔗 Caller Right, but I'm not.

5:29🔗 Adam What's up with you?

5:29🔗 Caller Are you really? I know that I'm not gay. And I have an idealized concept.

5:34🔗 Drew His reasoning is, if I have sex once, I'm going to go on some rampage.

5:38🔗 Adam No.

5:38🔗 Drew It will never end.

5:41🔗 Adam All guys that are virgins past, let's say, 17, immediately begin weaving together these sets of tales and circumstances. They get very philosophical about getting laid. Henry, are you a religious guy?

5:55🔗 Caller No, I'm not. I don't even I don't go to church at all. All right.

5:58🔗 Adam All right. Listen, don't think so much.

6:01🔗 Caller Yeah, that's all.

6:02🔗 Adam All the great humpers weren't great thinkers.

6:05🔗 Caller Right.

6:05🔗 Adam But it's in the way.

6:07🔗 Caller Anyway, I don't want to be a great humper, though.

6:09🔗 Adam It's a it's a visceral it's a visceral activity, though. So it's like skydiving. You can't intellectualize it too much. You've got to go for it.

6:16🔗 Drew And by the way, if you want to be doing that in the context of a close relationship, why not get a close relationship going?

6:21🔗 Caller There you go. Because we because I really maybe it's just my environment or the chances that I get. But I just I just seem like it. I don't get any.

6:30🔗 Drew I don't get I think the only most people most people do get that choice. So the only difference between you and at most people is you.

6:37🔗 Adam Thank you. That goes for all of you. Brian.

6:41🔗 Yes.

6:41🔗 Adam You're 23.

6:42🔗 Caller I am.

6:43🔗 Adam What's up?

6:44🔗 Caller Well, I found out last year that I have through a blood test that I have herpes, general herpes.

6:51🔗 Drew Well, a blood test is fairly useless, but that's not an accurate way to diagnose herpes.

6:57🔗 Adam Why not?

6:58🔗 Drew Because it's all good.

6:59🔗 Caller I'd like to tell my doctor that because I never had an outbreak.

7:02🔗 Drew Well, then you probably don't have it.

7:03🔗 Caller Okay.

7:04🔗 Drew I mean, the only way you should be careful, but the only surefire way to diagnose this is with viral culture. Really.

7:09🔗 Caller Well, I can honestly tell you now that after the scare, I'm going to be careful.

7:14🔗 Drew Why did they even bother testing you? I mean, the accuracy of a test is dependent on the probability of it being positive. In other words, if you have no reason to order a test, then the probability of it being false positive is actually higher than being true positive.

7:29🔗 Caller Well, an ex-lover came down with it, that visual diagnosis, and she wanted to determine where she got it. So she took me.

7:38🔗 Drew Well, that's interesting.

7:39🔗 Adam Yeah. And it didn't look good for you when it came up positive.

7:42🔗 Caller Well, not at all, especially when, you know, the people that she suspected at that point, and damned them and all this. And I said, you know, I don't like that talk, because what if it is me?

7:51🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:51🔗 Caller And then now, damn me.

7:54🔗 Drew I doubt it. But it's an interesting situation. It's still left a possibility of being.

7:58🔗 Adam Well, listen, Brian, if you've never had an outbreak of herpes, she couldn't really blame you for not knowing you had herpes.

8:06🔗 Drew Which is, by the way, very common, very common.

8:09🔗 Adam Having herpes and not having an outbreak.

8:12🔗 Drew Most women who have herpes don't know they have it.

8:15🔗 Adam Okay. But then what about the blood test? Why is this so inaccurate?

8:19🔗 Drew It's just not a good test. It is. Yeah.

8:21🔗 Adam Why not? Why would it read positive for herpes?

8:24🔗 Drew Because it's for antibodies to herpes. It's a general, there are other antibody responses to herpes viruses that get picked up.

8:30🔗 Adam Yeah. That's very fascinating.

8:33🔗 Drew That wasn't this question.

8:34🔗 Adam I don't know what this question was. Brian.

8:36🔗 Caller Sorry.

8:37🔗 Adam So what's the question?

8:38🔗 Caller Actually, the question that I had was for the past three and a half weeks, I've had mono and that's a virus too, right?

8:45🔗 Drew Yeah.

8:46🔗 Caller Is it a herpes virus?

8:48🔗 Drew No.

8:48🔗 Caller Okay. I thought I had read that somewhere online.

8:50🔗 Drew Is it a herpes type virus? It's Epstein-Barr virus typically or CMV, which I don't think that's a herpes class, but why? Why would that matter?

9:03🔗 Caller Well, I was curious if there's any way to take it, maybe affect one another.

9:06🔗 Adam He's looking for an out.

9:07🔗 Drew No.

9:08🔗 Adam What he wants to say to his girlfriend is the reason the blood test came up positive is because he just wants to know if he's going to quiet down.

9:13🔗 Caller This is much more, much more recent.

9:15🔗 Drew Okay. Listen, plenty of people have herpes. Nothing else occurs to them other than that infection. Nothing about having herpes puts them at risk for anything else.

9:25🔗 Adam Mike. Mike.

9:28🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

9:29🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

9:30🔗 Caller Yeah, I've been dating this girl. And she is, she's got some weird things that turn her on. She, when, when we're like having sex or whatever, she likes to call me daddy and, you know, like, you know, bang me daddy or whatever. Yeah.

9:46🔗 Adam And I call my lover's daddy too. Oh, although it's actually my dad I have sex with. So it fits, but it works, you know, it's no confusion.

9:55🔗 Caller But, and also like what really turns her on is like when we're fooling around and like, I call her a little slut and she really gets all hot by that. And I'm trying to figure out why that, why does that turn her on?

10:10🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, does she have any weird energy going on? Do you know what I mean?

10:16🔗 Caller She's pretty normal as far as, as far as I know, but like, I mean, just with Mike.

10:22🔗 Adam Well, listen, let me tell you, there's two, in my opinion, there's two reasons for girls who like a little naughty talk. One is somebody told them they were naughty. And the second one is, is someone told them they were a princess.

10:36🔗 Drew Too perfect.

10:37🔗 Adam And they're looking for a little, a little change up. Now, Drew, you may disagree with this, but most women, even healthy, adjusted women who come from good environments, like a little bit of a little rough trade in the sack sometimes.

10:53🔗 Drew Some, like a little dirty, being taken, being swept away.

10:58🔗 Adam Yeah, swept away by a big magic penis. And they like a little, a little hair tug, and a little, you love it, and a little, I mean, sex is, can be a little, you regress a little when you have sex. You grunt, you sweat, you turn into a little bit of a caveman. And there's some women who are okay with that. So I don't necessarily think it's a big deal. But if she's crying and yelling daddy, and saying, choke me with your belt.

11:27🔗 Drew And if by the way, there are other chaotic aspects of how she conducts herself in the relationship.

11:31🔗 Adam Mike?

11:32🔗 Caller Yeah, well she also will like call me daddy like when we're not having sex, like just around the house, you know, just around the house.

11:38🔗 Adam Yeah, how's her daddy?

11:41🔗 Caller He's a pretty nice guy as far as I know.

11:43🔗 Adam And she's all right with him?

11:45🔗 Caller Yeah, they get along fine. She doesn't like her mother, but her and her dad seem to have a pretty good relationship.

11:51🔗 Adam And there's no other things that would, no red flags in the relationship?

11:56🔗 Caller Not that I can see. I just think it's kind of strange. Sometimes she'll slip up and like stay in front of one of my friends and they kind of like look at me strange or whatever.

12:04🔗 Drew Yeah, but listen, I'm a term of endearment. She makes some other weird name might slip out.

12:08🔗 Adam Yeah, I like daddy. I like big daddy better instead of a small penis daddy, but daddy's fine.

12:13🔗 Drew Your girlfriend called you monkey nipples once at one of the one rap parties.

12:17🔗 Adam Got no problem with that.

12:18🔗 Drew I was sick.

12:19🔗 Adam I like that. You know, I'm a, I have sensitive nipples. I don't know if you know that. I like a little nipple play, Drew. Close your eyes and picture me enjoying some nipple play. Jennifer.

12:30🔗 Yes.

12:30🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

12:32🔗 Caller I was wondering if it was possible for a 10 year old to be depressed.

12:36🔗 Drew Definitely.

12:37🔗 Caller Okay.

12:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

12:38🔗 Adam Drew will bring you some pictures from when he was dead.

12:42🔗 Drew What's up?

12:42🔗 Adam He'll show you depression.

12:44🔗 Caller He'll go to his room sometimes and say he wishes he was dead. He just, he's very kind of laid back and he doesn't do the regular 10 year old boy things.

12:57🔗 Drew It's just a red flag. Something is up, maybe not depression, but something. Maybe nothing, maybe it's just his constitution, but keep your eyes open.

13:05🔗 Caller Okay.

13:06🔗 Adam Well, Drew, you've got triplets and they're all quite different, right? Yeah, I have two nephews. One of them is sort of moody and irritable most of the time and the other one's just a little teddy bear. Same vagina, that'd be my sister's.

13:24🔗 Drew Nice.

13:24🔗 Adam Same penis, that's my brother-in-law's.

13:27🔗 Drew Is that how you refer to most of your family members?

13:29🔗 Adam Penis and vagina? Yeah, my mom is the big vagina. And my grandmother is the grand vagina, a French term. And that means big, large-scale vagina, or the gray vagina, we call it. And these kids are a year and a half apart. I swear to God, one of them is the moodyest kid in the world. The other's like having a St. Bernard. I don't know what it is. Everything's the same. The environment's totally the same. And your boys, very different, very different, right?

14:00🔗 Drew Very different.

14:00🔗 Adam One of them is very athletic, very outgoing. The other one dresses like a woman, cries and masturbates.

14:07🔗 Drew There's a little bit of that in both of them.

14:08🔗 Adam Sings torch songs. Now one of them's like a computer nerd, right?

14:12🔗 Drew Yeah. There's different ones. One's rigid and contained and controlling. And the other one's super open.

14:16🔗 Adam That's you. And then the other one's your wife.

14:18🔗 Drew Yeah. That's right.

14:19🔗 Adam Yeah. Nice to have. Too bad you don't have a third so you could find something sort of healthy.

14:23🔗 Drew In the middle.

14:24🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So what do you do? Do you try to get the one that's real contained out of his shell a little bit and you try to reel in the one that's wild?

14:33🔗 Drew Yep. Nice.

14:35🔗 Adam Yeah, that's good times.

14:37🔗 Drew One that's blunt, but it's fluid. I prefer to call him... plays the piano like a MF. Really?

14:43🔗 Adam And athletic.

14:45🔗 Drew They're both pretty athletic. They really are.

14:47🔗 Adam Well Doug's the athletic one, right?

14:49🔗 Drew He's the athletic heart. Jordan is really the athletic.

14:52🔗 Adam Oh, naturally. Nathan?

14:54🔗 Yeah.

14:54🔗 Adam You're 15, what's up?

14:55🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, I don't know. I've never had like a real long-term relationship. Like never really many relationships whatsoever. Like I've only had maybe about like two or three. And I don't know. It's like... I don't know why.

15:11🔗 Adam Yeah, you're 15.

15:11🔗 Drew You're 15. Relax.

15:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:13🔗 Drew Adam, how many you had by 15?

15:18🔗 Adam By 15?

15:18🔗 Drew Yeah, not just the ones you imagined.

15:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

15:20🔗 Drew Not realistically. Real relationships.

15:23🔗 Adam Let me see here. 15. I'm like a 10th grade. Let me count. Okay, 10th grade.

15:27🔗 Drew That's a nine.

15:27🔗 Adam Now hold on.

15:28🔗 Drew Count back.

15:29🔗 Adam That was 1979. I was 15 years old. So be one, two, three, four, five, six, zero.

15:44🔗 Drew Had you had you kissed anyone by 15?

15:46🔗 Adam I tried to kiss myself.

15:48🔗 Drew Other than what you did in the mirror.

15:50🔗 Adam Yeah. No, I had I had one girlfriend, Esti Chilidenko, when I was in the seventh grade.

15:57🔗 Drew I kissed her.

15:58🔗 Adam I kissed her.

15:59🔗 Drew Okay.

15:59🔗 Adam Yes, we made out. We made time to make out. And then she dumped me.

16:04🔗 Drew My health things have changed.

16:05🔗 Adam And then I had, you know, you know, the only the only thing worse than a nice dry run is a little sip of water before that long dry run. Esti was my little sip of water in the seventh grade. And then about about a 10 year drought after that.

16:25🔗 Drew Very nice.

16:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Tough times. And feeling pretty good in the seventh grade.

16:28🔗 Drew And poor Nathan hasn't had more than three relationships. And he's 15. Imagine that.

16:32🔗 Adam All right, Nathan.

16:33🔗 Caller Yeah. I think sometimes I get jealous when I see a couple at school, I guess. Yeah.

16:39🔗 Drew It's understandable. So did Adam.

16:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

16:43🔗 Drew But it's OK. It's what you want. And just relax. The less desperate you are, the more likely you are to get there.

16:51🔗 Caller All right. I have one more thing. Do you remember about two two years ago, a blind girl called? Yeah. Well, I'm her brother.

17:01🔗 Adam She called. Well, we've had a few blind people call. I don't know if we got into the seeing impaired thing with her or not.

17:07🔗 Drew I think she was the first one that did that.

17:09🔗 Caller Calling and said it was hard for her to meet guys.

17:12🔗 Adam Right.

17:12🔗 Caller So I don't know.

17:14🔗 Caller She has like a boyfriend now.

17:15🔗 Drew She's doing OK.

17:16🔗 Adam Good.

17:16🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah. She's doing good.

17:18🔗 Adam Are you sure she's not dating a hat rack and just confused as an actual human being?

17:23🔗 Caller Yeah, I met him. He's a good guy.

17:25🔗 Adam OK, because you know how the blind are? No, they can't see. They don't miss her.

17:30🔗 Drew I have big notes here. Blind can't see.

17:32🔗 Adam Yeah, they're like Mr. Magoo. Yeah, they could be dating a hat rack and not know it for months. Sometimes.

17:42🔗 Drew Sean.

17:44🔗 Adam Sean, you're 17.

17:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:46🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

17:47🔗 Adam What's up with you?

17:50🔗 Caller Nothing.

17:50🔗 Drew All right.

17:51🔗 Adam Well, hold on, would you?

17:52🔗 Caller Okay.

17:52🔗 Adam All right. Let's talk to Adrian.

17:57🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:58🔗 I want to know if...

18:00🔗 Adam Turn that radio down, you brainiac.

18:02🔗 Caller All right.

18:02🔗 Drew You have to hear yourself asking, what's up with you? Nice. It's not good, is it?

18:07🔗 Adam You never know how mean you are until you hear yourself in the background of a 14-year-old's bedroom.

18:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

18:12🔗 Caller I want to know if you lift weights if it will light up your growth.

18:15🔗 Drew Well, if you do supplements, it can. It tends to stimulate the closure of the growth plates prematurely.

18:21🔗 Adam Really?

18:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:22🔗 Adam When you say supplements, what do you mean?

18:24🔗 Drew Just the interesting diones.

18:25🔗 Adam You mean like beef liver pills?

18:27🔗 Drew No, no, no. I mean like hormones. And it's not great for your joints and growth plates to be lifting, certainly not lifting heavy weights, but just general, you know, there's something up in the 12 rep brains where you're not killing yourself with the heavy weight. It should be fine.

18:42🔗 Caller All right.

18:42🔗 Caller So it's okay if I like bench press and stuff?

18:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:45🔗 Caller Carefully.

18:45🔗 Drew I mean, you use appropriate, make sure somebody's instructing you how to do it so you don't hurt yourself. Yeah.

18:50🔗 Caller Do you know if there's any way I could like get taller?

18:54🔗 Adam If there's anything I could do? You should have had your dad marry a Swedish woman instead of a Mexican woman. Can you go back and do that?

19:03🔗 Caller No.

19:04🔗 Adam No. What's your nationality?

19:05🔗 Caller Mexican.

19:06🔗 Adam Yeah. That's a soccer nationality. It's not a basketball nationality. How tall are you?

19:12🔗 I'm 5'8.

19:13🔗 Drew You're 14.

19:14🔗 Adam That's not bad for 14.

19:15🔗 Drew Adrian, that's like worrying about his penis size. There's something up here.

19:18🔗 Adam You're saying he has a small penis too?

19:20🔗 Drew No.

19:20🔗 Adam Adrian.

19:21🔗 Yeah.

19:22🔗 Adam Yeah. You'll be fine.

19:23🔗 Caller All right.

19:23🔗 Adam Hey, Adrian.

19:24🔗 Yeah.

19:25🔗 Adam Don't do that thing though that a lot of guys do, which is they don't get as tall as they like to get so they get wider than they should be.

19:32🔗 Caller Okay.

19:33🔗 Adam Nothing worse than seeing a guy who's 5'9 and a half and 2'75 who's still doing a ton, you know, he's bench pressing and doing squats and getting even wider.

19:43🔗 Caller All right.

19:43🔗 Adam Scarce people, you know. All right, Adrian. You're fine.

19:46🔗 Caller Thanks.

19:47🔗 Adam Good times. I know what happened to the guy who was depressed. Did he hang up?

19:52🔗 Drew He's gone.

19:52🔗 Caller All right.

19:53🔗 Caller Tyler?

19:55🔗 Caller Hi.

19:55🔗 Adam You're 18. What's up?

19:56🔗 Drew Tyler, Texas.

19:58🔗 Caller No, not Tyler, Texas.

19:59🔗 Drew Oh, I'm sorry.

20:00🔗 Adam But you're calling from Texas, right?

20:02🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

20:02🔗 Adam What's up there?

20:03🔗 Caller Um, I guess I'm calling for a little bit of advice. Um, me and my father have not been on best of terms throughout my life.

20:11🔗 Drew What's been the problem?

20:13🔗 Caller Um, well, physical abuse, um, he has, I guess, a really bad, a lot of his problems come with, uh, jobs and most of my life I've been living with my grandmother, his mother.

20:26🔗 Drew What do you mean he comes with jobs?

20:28🔗 Caller Well, his, I mean, he's been in between, uh, I mean, he got a degree from a college, uh, and he's not been able to hold a decent job.

20:37🔗 Drew So how come?

20:39🔗 Caller I don't know.

20:40🔗 Drew The man got him down, I think Adam.

20:41🔗 Adam Yeah.

20:42🔗 Caller And, and it caused a lot of depression. I mean, he's, I mean, he's the, you know, puke blood and stuff, but the, my-

20:49🔗 Drew Puking blood is something alcoholics do.

20:52🔗 Caller Well, he did, and he's not an alcoholic. He had, he's had a lot of problems, but he's getting his life back together. But it's almost like he's kind of forgotten about me. He's never been there for me. He's never shown any kind of, I don't know. I mean, you know, things that fathers do, he has not shown.

21:10🔗 Drew Okay. What's the question then?

21:12🔗 Caller Well, I don't know how to express to him that he's wrong. He doesn't think that he is. He, he tells me that, that I'm wrong, that I've done things. I don't know. I mean, I use drugs. I've dropped out of school. He, I mean, he considers me the headache.

21:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, first off, how much contact do you have with him now?

21:35🔗 Caller Um, well, I only call him.

21:40🔗 Adam You don't live with him?

21:41🔗 Caller No, I live, I still live with my grandmother.

21:43🔗 Drew And are you telling me he doesn't do drugs?

21:45🔗 Caller No, he does not.

21:46🔗 Drew He never did any drugs?

21:47🔗 Caller No.

21:48🔗 Adam Okay. Drew doesn't believe you, but that's beside the point. Tyler, here's the deal. Your dad's an idiot. He's a bad dad.

21:56🔗 Drew And confronting him is not going to somehow render him into a new dad.

22:00🔗 Adam No, I mean, that's the thing about bad people. Confronting him doesn't really do much.

22:05🔗 Drew In fact, it makes you feel worse.

22:07🔗 Adam Well, yeah.

22:09🔗 Caller I had a letter in an envelope that was in the mailbox and then I heard you show it and I was like, I'm gonna call and ask before I send this letter and I was wondering if I could read some of it to you.

22:17🔗 Adam Sure. Okay. Hold on, does it rhyme?

22:21🔗 Caller No.

22:21🔗 Drew Oh, with Nantucket?

22:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

22:25🔗 Adam There once was a drunk from Tyler, Texas. All right. Go ahead.

22:31🔗 Caller First line, as a father-

22:33🔗 Adam How long is this thing?

22:34🔗 Caller I'll only just tell me to stop.

22:36🔗 Adam All right. Give us the bullet points. Go ahead.

22:38🔗 Caller Okay. As a father, you are dead to me.

22:41🔗 Adam It's a nice way to go. Is that hallmark or did you write that yourself?

22:45🔗 Caller I wrote that. I tried to remember growing up with you as a fun time, but all attempts have failed with tears and hate. We have been in between houses, jobs.

22:58🔗 Drew By the way, there's a good probability he's already stopped reading. Seriously, you give an idiot a letter like that, it's just stop reading it.

23:06🔗 Adam Yeah. Keep going, Tyler. This is good.

23:12🔗 Caller I wish that I had not known you as a real person, but only as a weekend dad. That to me would have been better. I know at this point in my life I have failed myself with drugs, dropping out and just being lazy. I hope to turn my life around. And I also want you to know that I do not wish anything bad to happen to you. In fact, I hope you have a good life and forgive you for not being there for me when I needed you. Also, I forgive you for hurting me physically. I know you're temper and I push you and I'm sorry for that. Sometimes I feel like I'm out of place and what I'm feeling is wrong. That's just me being a chicken and not feeling good.

23:46🔗 Drew I have a couple of questions. How many times did he hurt you physically? Not that many times are okay. I'm just curious.

23:53🔗 Caller I remember being really little and we lived with his best friend and I did something. I remember it was a two by four and I just remember having bruises. That was too little.

24:02🔗 Drew He hit you with a two by four?

24:04🔗 Caller Several times.

24:04🔗 Drew Wow.

24:05🔗 Adam Yeah, but it's not two by six or a head or something.

24:09🔗 Drew It's over the top.

24:10🔗 Adam Hey, Tyler.

24:11🔗 Drew And where's mom?

24:12🔗 Adam Well, hold on a second, Tyler. First off, I'd like you to peel off a copy of that and send it out to my dad. Just a quick alteration about the part for forgiving him for his anger. Just cross that part out and then send it off. I'll give you the address off the art, right? Hey, Tyler? Listen, here's a deal. I'm going to ramp this up in about twenty seconds for you. You got a ton of feelings and a ton of energy, ton of hurt, a ton of everything. Anger and hurt about this whole situation. Unfortunately, you telling your dad this is not going to get the kind of satisfaction you want out of them. And it won't make you feel better. You think it will, but it won't.

24:55🔗 Drew The letter is okay. I'm certainly glad he's not trying to do it face to face.

24:58🔗 Adam Better to write the letter than even to send it. But here's the point, Tyler. You need to have a life for yourself. Your relationship with your dad will repair over time. And you can work that one out. You don't need to fix that first. The first thing you need to do is have a good life, make some money, be successful, get your education, get out of grandma's house, have everything focus on you. And your relationship with your dad will sort its way out as time goes on. But don't focus all your energy on dad.

25:30🔗 Drew And don't forget that if you are working a good program in your addiction recovery, you should be looking at forgiveness. And that will be a more serene place.

25:39🔗 Adam All right. We will take ourselves a little break when we come back and speak to Darnell, who has a theory. You know, it always frightens me when our callers have theories. His theory is to why girls, why guys like seeing girls pee on each other. But this should be fascinating after this.

26:18🔗 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KQBC, Seattle.

26:32🔗 Caller Yeah, Love Line.

26:34🔗 Adam I'm Adam Caroli, here's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Crazy Town will be in here tomorrow night, and Lincoln Park will be in here.

26:42🔗 Drew We like Lincoln Park.

26:43🔗 Adam On Sunday night. Yes, we do. And we may like Crazy Town, too, we never know. Darnell?

26:50🔗 Caller Yes.

26:51🔗 Adam Okay, let's hear your half-baked theory.

26:53🔗 Caller I'm, first of all, I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller, and I think my half-baked theory is a little more on than...

27:02🔗 Drew Oh, let's hear it...

27:03🔗 Caller .than your panties-off thing, but I think it's, as guys, you know, we're more into the toilet stuff, and, you know, peeing's like a big deal for us. From early on, you know, we can stand up and pee anywhere, and so I think it's just, you know, guys who get into that find validation, you know, in seeing a girl do it, and so that's a...

27:31🔗 Drew What kind of validation? What do you mean, validation? What does that mean?

27:34🔗 Adam This is, by the way, Darnell's theory on why guys like watching girls pee in the Hustler magazine.

27:41🔗 Drew In the Hustler magazine, are they peeing on people?

27:44🔗 Adam No, they're normally peeing on the ground.

27:46🔗 Drew So just watching them pee is theoretically what guys like?

27:49🔗 Adam Yeah, in theory, yes. Okay, and what is where the smart money is?

27:53🔗 Drew Do you think it is some sort of transgender issue, some sort of identification with mom or something?

28:00🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I don't know. I suppose it could do something, like, you know, some sort of association with why guys like wearing women's underwear as well.

28:09🔗 Adam Yeah, but what percentage of guys who jack off to hustler enjoy wearing women's underpants? Hey, Darnell?

28:19🔗 Caller I just think it's a great deal.

28:20🔗 Adam Darnell, do you get any action yourself? Well, not lately.

28:25🔗 Drew You think it's a great deal to jack off with underwear?

28:28🔗 Adam You do think it's a great deal?

28:30🔗 Caller Of hustler, hustler readers, probably, like girls undies.

28:37🔗 Adam Like the wear girls underpants?

28:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:39🔗 Adam Really? Higher than 50%?

28:43🔗 Caller Probably around there, I don't know.

28:44🔗 Adam About 50% of the men who look at hustler enjoy wearing women's underpants?

28:51🔗 Caller I don't know.

28:52🔗 Adam Darnell, you need to go to work for the college, collecting data.

28:57🔗 Drew He's an epidemiologist, you don't know that?

28:59🔗 Adam Darnell, what's up with you? What happened to you? You get dropped?

29:02🔗 Caller Me? No.

29:03🔗 Drew You mean on your head?

29:04🔗 Adam Where are you going? The junior college?

29:06🔗 Caller The state university.

29:08🔗 Adam Yeah, that's almost junior.

29:10🔗 Caller I also have a man ovation idea.

29:13🔗 Adam Darnell, hold on, Drew, you know how I'm constantly disappointed by our listeners' theories and ideas?

29:21🔗 Drew Now, you've become cringing when you know they're coming.

29:26🔗 Adam He started this one off. He prefaced this with, I think this is going to be a little more insightful than the explanation you offered some nights ago.

29:36🔗 Drew And more than your lame listeners would normally offer.

29:38🔗 Adam Right. What was Darnell's theory about why men enjoy watching women urinate?

29:43🔗 Drew Because they like watching.

29:44🔗 Adam No, I still don't know what it was.

29:46🔗 Drew It was nothing.

29:47🔗 Adam Darnell, you had no explanation. Men like urine. That was your explanation.

29:51🔗 Drew Yeah, they like, they're validated by urine.

29:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:55🔗 Drew What does that mean?

29:56🔗 Adam What does that mean? Okay, give me the manovation.

30:02🔗 Caller Okay.

30:03🔗 Caller Okay. Have you seen the popularity in men's like shower products and such that is...

30:14🔗 Adam Sure, it's going through the roof. Who can afford it?

30:16🔗 Drew What are you talking about?

30:17🔗 Caller Well, I think there should be a whole line of stuff that not only does like a body wash and shampoo and conditioner and stuff, but also doubles to help in the prostate maintenance department while you're in there.

30:33🔗 Adam How would that work?

30:34🔗 Drew How would it be different than soap?

30:37🔗 Caller Well, you can't necessarily use everything. I don't attempt it.

30:42🔗 Adam All right.

30:43🔗 Drew Okay. Thanks, Darrell.

30:44🔗 Adam All right. Thanks. You keep writing down those ideas, all right?

30:47🔗 Caller Yeah, I'll keep plugging along.

30:49🔗 Adam Keep plugging along. I want you to write down all your theories, all your manoeuvation ideas, collect them, bind them, turn them in a book and then douse them in kerosene and burn them on your lawn in some sort of ritual.

31:00🔗 Caller All right. Thanks.

31:01🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Keep rocking and rolling.

31:03🔗 Drew So, let's recap that one.

31:05🔗 Adam Well, the reason guys enjoy watching women pee on each other or just by themselves is because we feel a connection with urine.

31:13🔗 Drew The standing up and urinating.

31:15🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:15🔗 Drew Somehow that reminds us of ourselves. Right.

31:17🔗 Adam 50% of men who read Hustler enjoy wearing women's underpants. At least 50%. And a great manoeuvation for the year 2001 would be with the onslaught, the avalanche of male-related bathroom products you've been seeing lately.

31:35🔗 Drew Yes.

31:35🔗 Adam Such as there's something called soap and there's something called shampoo.

31:39🔗 Drew Yes.

31:39🔗 Adam Right.

31:39🔗 Drew Shocking.

31:40🔗 Adam Right. You can't walk 10 feet without seeing a billboard for soap or shampoo, men's soap or shampoo.

31:45🔗 Drew Who's ever heard of that before?

31:46🔗 Adam Here's something else.

31:48🔗 Drew His will double as a lubricant.

31:50🔗 Adam Michael?

31:51🔗 Drew Yes.

31:52🔗 Adam You're 19. It never fails. I'm always disappointed by our callers. Thank you, Michael. You're 19.

31:58🔗 Caller Well, my question is, ever since I was probably about 11 or 12, I've noticed that I've had oversized nipples.

32:07🔗 Caller All my weight seems to go to my stomach and my chest.

32:11🔗 Caller It's not that my whole chest is bigger, but my nipples are probably a little, I guess the circumference of them is a little bigger than a quarter, but they're about an inch.

32:21🔗 Caller They stick out about an inch, and it's kind of embarrassing.

32:23🔗 Adam No, your nipples do not stick out an inch.

32:26🔗 Caller It's pretty close.

32:27🔗 Adam The nipple itself.

32:29🔗 Caller Yes.

32:29🔗 Adam It's just the pointy part of the nipple.

32:32🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I guess.

32:34🔗 Drew George, you include the fleshy stuff underneath.

32:36🔗 Caller Yeah, that too.

32:37🔗 Drew Yeah, the fat underneath.

32:39🔗 Adam The whole thing's an inch.

32:41🔗 Caller Yeah, and I guess my question was, I wanted to know if that was something that could be from, if I have more estrogen than most males.

32:48🔗 Drew Yes, and that's probably, you said you were overweight.

32:51🔗 Caller I'm not overweight.

32:52🔗 Caller I'm actually really thin everywhere.

32:53🔗 Caller It's just all my weight seems to go to my stomach and my chest.

32:57🔗 Caller And it's not like I have a huge chest or anything like that.

32:59🔗 Caller It's not like from Fight Club, but it's just.

33:02🔗 Drew You smoke a lot of pot?

33:03🔗 Caller What's that?

33:04🔗 Drew You smoke a lot of pot?

33:05🔗 Caller No, I don't.

33:06🔗 Adam How much do you weigh?

33:07🔗 Caller About 170.

33:08🔗 Adam How tall are you?

33:09🔗 Six two.

33:11🔗 Adam Not overweight. You just collect that weight.

33:14🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, the weight issue is not a big deal. It's not noticeable at all.

33:18🔗 Adam Yeah, it's just, if you put on one pound, 13 ounces of that is in your boobs.

33:26🔗 Drew Everything else normal? Normal hair distribution? Normal sexual functioning?

33:30🔗 Caller Right.

33:31🔗 Adam It's got this kind of chlamydia. Yeah. Some guys have this. Yeah. I know they have surgeries.

33:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:39🔗 Adam I don't know, but what are you removing when the guy's not really overweight? Wouldn't it just come back?

33:44🔗 Drew No, they take out some of the glandular tissue sometimes.

33:47🔗 Adam That would contain the fat or produce it.

33:50🔗 Drew It just shrinks it back.

33:52🔗 Adam What I'm saying is, if you have a...

33:54🔗 Drew Oh, if you gained again, would it come back? No. The cells are gone.

33:57🔗 Adam The cells, which is like the tupperware that collects the fat.

34:01🔗 Drew Right.

34:01🔗 Adam So you remove the tupperware and you can only store so much chili con carne?

34:05🔗 Drew Right. More or less. And there are certain sort of...

34:08🔗 Adam They do that with liposuction?

34:10🔗 Drew Yeah. That's lipos...

34:11🔗 Adam Is that what that is?

34:12🔗 Drew Yeah.

34:12🔗 Adam I was always wondering because, you know, to me liposuction was like removing the fat from the area. But obviously if it's a place where you're prone to gain weight, you put on another five pounds and that's where it's going.

34:23🔗 Drew No.

34:24🔗 Adam But it won't go there anymore.

34:25🔗 Drew It can't go there. No cells there to store it.

34:26🔗 Adam There's nothing to hold it.

34:27🔗 Drew Right. Go somewhere else.

34:29🔗 Adam Nice.

34:30🔗 Drew Should we do it?

34:32🔗 Adam Yeah. I mean, if this is a situation where the guy is 6'2 and 170 and he has, you know, C-Cops, this is something he's got to make a move on. Because Lord knows he's 19. Wait till he's 6'2 and 235 when he's 31. He's going to have D-Cops. Hey, Michael.

34:55🔗 Caller Yes.

34:55🔗 Adam You may want to consult a plastic surgeon and just say.

35:01🔗 Caller It's not quite as extreme as you're thinking.

35:02🔗 Caller It's not the actual, like, the whole breast. It's just the nipple.

35:07🔗 Caller But it's noticeable if I was to wear, like, a T-shirt or.

35:10🔗 Adam Yeah.

35:11🔗 Drew Well, nipples are what you got. Those aren't changing.

35:14🔗 Caller Those aren't changing.

35:14🔗 Drew Yeah.

35:15🔗 Adam But what about what's behind the nipple that's sort of pushing it forward?

35:18🔗 Drew It's pulling it out. Yeah.

35:20🔗 Adam Hey, Michael.

35:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:21🔗 Adam What about just a whole bunch of exercise, lots of push-ups and those kinds of things?

35:26🔗 Caller Well, if that worked, I would.

35:27🔗 Adam Well, it couldn't hurt. I mean, what about doing something that really, like, isolates that muscle like flies?

35:33🔗 Drew Incline dumbbell presses.

35:34🔗 Adam Yeah. You got any weights?

35:37🔗 Caller No, I don't.

35:38🔗 Adam Why don't you get yourself a weight bench, tip it up at an angle, and grab yourself like some 20-pound dumbbells and do those flies?

35:46🔗 Caller I'll give it a shot.

35:47🔗 Adam And just really see if you can blast that area for two months and see what, if it does anything.

35:52🔗 Drew Okay. Now the fat will sit on top of a muscle and stick out even further.

35:56🔗 Adam Yeah.

35:56🔗 Drew That's nice.

35:57🔗 Adam Yeah. It's gonna look nice. Hey, if that doesn't work, go to a plastic surgeon. Just see what he says. Hey, worst case scenarios, you look at the before and after pictures. I'll go to a plastic surgeon every once in a while and just say, I'm looking for breast reduction for my girlfriend for her birthday. I'm shopping around. Can I see some, let me see the before book. Let me see the before book on the breast reduction and the after book on the breast augmentation, please.

36:26🔗 Drew And then how do you explain the fact that you run off to the bathroom right then?

36:28🔗 Adam Yes. I'm gonna need a six pack of Schlitz Tall Boys, some paper towels and hold my calls, please. I'll be in the bathroom and I'll need a chair to wedge against the bathroom door so no one comes in. Thank you. Yes. I've been known to do that many times. Chris?

36:49🔗 Yes.

36:49🔗 Adam You're 20?

36:50🔗 Caller Yes.

36:51🔗 Adam What's up?

36:52🔗 Caller Basically, I attend a college and I recently got into a relationship with a 17-year-old. We've been going out for some time and we recently had engaged in oral sex.

37:07🔗 Drew She goes to the same college?

37:09🔗 Caller Yes.

37:10🔗 Caller One of those youth outreach programs.

37:13🔗 Adam Right. They think they're getting a leg up really, they're just blowing older guys. Youth outreach. Yeah, reach for my penis. Reach out for the penis. Thank you. So would she be like an advanced student?

37:27🔗 Caller Yeah, actually, because she's over here.

37:29🔗 Caller She's from Indonesia.

37:30🔗 Caller She's here on an F1 visa.

37:31🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

37:33🔗 Adam Wow.

37:33🔗 Caller And well...

37:34🔗 Adam She's there on an F1 visa?

37:37🔗 Caller Yes.

37:37🔗 Adam Yeah. My family came over on an FU visa. They stayed. They ended up staying.

37:43🔗 Caller Really? Yeah.

37:43🔗 Adam They're still being sought after by the federal government. Hi, Chris.

37:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:49🔗 Adam Now, listen. First of all, she's from Indonesia, you say?

37:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:52🔗 Adam Women start having sex there at night. So she's considered an old maid in her native land. Number two, you guys are both in college. I'm all right with this. You like her?

38:03🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. I like her a lot.

38:04🔗 Adam All right. Just take it slow. Treat her right.

38:07🔗 Drew How much different would it be if she were dating an 18 or 19 year old? Well, first of all, she's in college, so she's in school.

38:12🔗 Adam Chris is a 21. Chris is a 20 year old guy who's he's got a little more 15 in him than he does than he does 25. He's a 20 year old guy is closer to 15 than than the 25. And you'd rather have this 20 year old date your daughter than one of these scumbag 16 year olds that calls the show. Right.

38:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

38:34🔗 Adam I was fingering my girlfriend and then my you know, I would let my dog lick my finger and then I was like finger again. I want to know if I can give my dog a disease. You'd rather have this 20 year old date your daughter than that guy. Right.

38:46🔗 Drew Much.

38:47🔗 Adam What is the answer to that question?

38:48🔗 Drew We'll talk about it in the break.

38:50🔗 Caller We'll be back. Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz. KQBC Seattle. You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

39:19🔗 Caller Yep, Loveline.

39:20🔗 Adam I'm Adam. That's Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-A-V-E-1-9-1. Vinnie Jones from Snatch is not in the building. He was slated to come out here tonight and has not made it. That's all right. Crazy Town will be in here tomorrow night, then Lincoln Park Sunday night. I have a little difficulty figuring out what day it is.

39:41🔗 Drew I wonder why that is. Because of...

39:42🔗 Adam I don't know. I don't know what it is with me, but this week feels slower or faster.

39:47🔗 Drew Did you work on Monday?

39:48🔗 Adam I can't remember what it is. Did I work where?

39:50🔗 Drew Martin Luther King Day. Did you work at all? Because a lot of people took that day off.

39:53🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. I worked on my house.

39:55🔗 Yeah, of course.

39:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

39:57🔗 Drew What are you doing? What are you working on now?

39:59🔗 Adam I'm remodeling Jimmy's office, my funny partner.

40:04🔗 Drew He has an office in your house?

40:06🔗 Adam He has an office in his house, and it's getting gutted big time. It's time to orchestrate that. It takes a lot of orchestration to build them all the cabinets and all that good stuff. He has an eclectic taste of that, Jimmy. He's a tough client.

40:22🔗 Caller Hello?

40:23🔗 Adam You're 16.

40:24🔗 Caller Yeah. I have a lot of scars because I used to cut myself, and some of them are pretty big and ugly. I was wondering if there's a way I could get rid of them, like something I could put on them.

40:37🔗 Drew Where are the scars?

40:39🔗 Caller On my arms, and I have some on my legs and on my stomach.

40:42🔗 Drew That's the thing about scars. There's not a lot you can do about them. There are some laser techniques now.

40:47🔗 Adam That's why they call them scars, right? Otherwise, they're scabs.

40:51🔗 Drew Otherwise, they're... Yeah.

40:54🔗 Caller And then on...

40:55🔗 Adam On your belly?

40:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:57🔗 Adam You were cutting your belly?

40:58🔗 Caller Well, like, yeah.

41:02🔗 Adam And they're scars because you were picking at them?

41:06🔗 Caller Oh, no.

41:07🔗 Drew She really went deep.

41:08🔗 Caller She went...

41:09🔗 Drew You went real deep. Yes?

41:14🔗 Caller Kind of. Yeah. Like, on my arms, I have some really dead scars.

41:18🔗 Adam Do you need... Did you need stitches?

41:21🔗 Caller No. I don't know. They... They probably could have used stitches on her. They look really ugly.

41:30🔗 Adam All right. Well, are you done cutting on yourself?

41:34🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. I haven't for, like, a long time, but I just recently did, so... I don't know. I try not to, but I've been starting to do that again lately.

41:44🔗 Adam Hmm. And if you're gonna cut on yourself, could you go the other direction, create a sort of checkerboard pattern?

41:51🔗 Caller Uh... I suppose so.

41:54🔗 Adam Play a tic-tac-toe on your belly?

41:56🔗 Drew Do you have some kind of a dissociative disorder when you do these cutting? Do you just dissociate?

42:01🔗 Caller Um, what do you mean exactly?

42:04🔗 Adam Anyone ever tell you have more than one personality?

42:07🔗 Caller No.

42:08🔗 Drew Or do you dissociate where you kind of don't know what you're doing when you cut?

42:11🔗 Caller Well, yeah, kind of.

42:14🔗 Adam What's up? Did someone abuse you?

42:18🔗 Caller Um, I don't know. Like, I guess not like overt, like, abuse, but kind of emotional abuse.

42:26🔗 Adam Yeah. Why do you think you're cutting on yourself?

42:28🔗 Caller Well, um, I went to see a psychiatrist a couple months ago and she said I'm bipolar and I don't know. Does that have anything to do with it?

42:37🔗 Drew Sure. It's part of it.

42:38🔗 Adam Did she give you some?

42:38🔗 Caller I've been in a mental hospital a couple times.

42:40🔗 Adam Did she give you some medication?

42:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:42🔗 Adam Are you taking it?

42:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

42:44🔗 Drew All right, good.

42:44🔗 Adam Does it make you feel better?

42:46🔗 Caller Not really.

42:47🔗 Adam What about putting vitamin E on those scars?

42:50🔗 Drew Not likely to do much. And again, there's some lasers that can be, may be useful. And this thing's plastic surgeons can do.

42:55🔗 Caller It's really expensive though.

42:56🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, okay. If you're looking for something cheap to try to get rid of those scars, ain't going to happen.

43:04🔗 Adam They can't? Here's the deal, baby. Again, they're called scars because they don't go away. But the good news is, is there's been a huge breakthroughs with this stuff. And I'd say just the last few years. And what they can do with the lasers is pretty marvelous. May be a little bit expensive. And it may not be the kind of thing you can deal with for a few years. So the first thing is, is don't cut anymore. Do your therapy. Stick with your program, your psychiatry. Take your medication. And work on not adding anymore scars.

43:41🔗 Drew And scars can shrink quite a bit.

43:43🔗 Adam Yeah, they'll shrink. And then in some time when your head's in a better place, then you can go get them removed. And use a laser.

43:52🔗 Caller How much would that cost about?

43:54🔗 Adam It's about a hundred bucks a lineal inch.

43:56🔗 Drew Don't know. We don't know.

43:58🔗 Adam I don't know.

43:59🔗 Caller Okay.

43:59🔗 Adam All right. Come on, baby. What's up? You all right?

44:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:04🔗 Adam Well, why are you so freaked out?

44:06🔗 Caller Oh, freaked out. I don't know.

44:09🔗 Adam Well, you just sound like you're in a bad way. Yeah, you're 16. You got computers and VCRs. Enjoy. We didn't even have cable when I was growing up.

44:22🔗 Drew Yeah, on TV.

44:24🔗 Adam Yeah, nothing. Kat, do you have any friends?

44:28🔗 Caller Yeah, I have friends.

44:29🔗 Adam Talk to them. Hang out with them. Have a laugh.

44:32🔗 Caller I mean, I do. I try not to spend time alone, but...

44:35🔗 Adam Yeah. You go to a regular school?

44:38🔗 Caller Uh, no. Well, I go to an alternative school.

44:41🔗 Adam Oh, boy. So you smoke cigarettes with your teachers during the break, call everyone by their first name, roll in at noon every day and roll out of there about 1.15, 1.30?

44:53🔗 Caller Oh, no. I go from 1.30 to 7. No.

44:58🔗 Adam What the hell kind of school is that? That's a swing shift. That's not a school.

45:04🔗 Drew What alternative? What does that mean?

45:09🔗 Caller Like, it's a smaller school. It's like...

45:13🔗 Adam Is it attached to a bigger school?

45:15🔗 Caller It's in the basement of a library.

45:17🔗 Adam All righty. God knows what's going on. Are you learning anything?

45:22🔗 Caller Uh, yeah.

45:23🔗 Adam Okay. And you can apply those credits toward a GED one day?

45:27🔗 Caller No, I'm gonna graduate high school.

45:29🔗 Adam All right, baby. Well, good. Enjoy yourself.

45:32🔗 Caller Okay.

45:32🔗 Adam Lighten up a little.

45:33🔗 Caller I'll try.

45:34🔗 Adam All right.

45:35🔗 Caller Thanks.

45:35🔗 Adam Relax. She doesn't sound like she's like an ant list. The weight of the world on her back. This one. Come on, everybody. Well, listen, I don't want to sound like Mary Poppins here, but... Don't worry. Your parents are a pain in the ass. I know that the situation at home is not great. But find yourself some friends. Yeah. And the best times I've had has been with my friends and bailed me out of jail. They bailed me out of trouble. I've got to watch them have sex. That's great. Hang out with your friends. Have a laugh with your friends. You guys got to get back with your friends, especially your chicks. You guys are so busy borrowing each other's sweaters and banging each other's boyfriends. You don't know what a good relationship is like. Get your buddies. See, women don't call them buddies. Think about that. They ain't buddies. They're my friend and the competition. They ain't buddies. Get some buddies. Jason?

46:29🔗 Yeah?

46:30🔗 Adam You're 20.

46:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:31🔗 Adam What's up?

46:33🔗 Caller I'm just curious as to what's the big deal about women's breasts because I know that I'm infatuated with them. I just love them. I work at a restaurant.

46:43🔗 Adam Oh. Well, I... There you go. Enough said. You work at a restaurant. They serve breasts.

46:50🔗 Caller Yeah, exactly.

46:50🔗 Caller I see women coming in wearing pretty much not much.

46:55🔗 Adam Sure.

46:56🔗 Caller Plus, I'm in Orange County.

46:59🔗 Adam Breast around there.

47:01🔗 Caller Exactly.

47:01🔗 Adam Hey, you like breasts. Good. That's healthy.

47:03🔗 Drew Do you work at the Twin Palms or something?

47:06🔗 Adam It makes you a man.

47:08🔗 Caller Of course.

47:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

47:10🔗 Caller I'm just curious why.

47:11🔗 Adam I mean...

47:12🔗 Drew Well, it's... When I look at it... Look, I understand. It makes no rational sense. There are many...

47:16🔗 Adam Oh, yes, it does.

47:17🔗 Drew Hang on. There's many things that the human does that is not subject to rationality. And this is one of them. This is some part of our evolution. Something that improved the propagation of the species.

47:31🔗 Adam To me, the main difference between a man and a woman is the cans. Is the jugs.

47:35🔗 Drew Well, and there's theories that...

47:37🔗 Adam You take a very skinny, wafy type woman, and what do you got? You got a teenage boy.

47:42🔗 Drew And this theory is that if you idealize parts of women's body, that's a way to distance oneself from a little intimacy.

47:47🔗 Adam Well, only if you cut them off and play with them in your basement.

47:51🔗 Drew The way you do. OK.

47:53🔗 Adam I didn't say I did. I didn't say I didn't. We'll take a little break. We'll be back after this.

48:02🔗 Caller We'll be right back.

48:03🔗 Caller Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

48:20🔗 Caller Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz KQBC Seattle KQBC Seattle.

48:50🔗 Adam All right, I'm Adam, that is my good buddy over there. Board certified for your comfort.

48:59🔗 Drew Somebody was calling to say that Epstein-Barr virus is a herpesvirus, okay? I don't know if CMV is though, cytomegalovirus.

49:04🔗 Adam Somebody said that EBV is a herpesvirus.

49:08🔗 Drew That makes sense to me. But I don't know that all mono viruses are herpesviruses.

49:12🔗 Adam So if you have Epstein-Barr virus, you may test positive for herpes?

49:16🔗 Drew No, no, it's more specific than that, it's just not an accurate test.

49:20🔗 Adam All right, I have not figured out. To me, the only kind of testing I think about is dino-tuning with my car. And listen, either you pass a smog or you don't. I don't know about all this. You know, we find herpes in your blood, but you don't have it. I don't understand all that testing business. And I'm not so sure Drew does either, to be quite honest with you. Michelle?

49:43🔗 Yeah?

49:44🔗 Adam You're 14?

49:46🔗 Caller Actually, I'm 13. I just kind of said that.

49:49🔗 Adam You spanced out?

49:51🔗 Caller Yeah, I guess, you know. I don't really hear a lot of 13-year-olds call.

49:55🔗 Drew What's the question?

49:57🔗 Caller Well, I kind of have, like, an obsession with dating, like, older guys, you know?

50:02🔗 Drew How old?

50:03🔗 Caller Like, some might be 18 or older.

50:06🔗 Drew Are you a virgin?

50:08🔗 Caller No.

50:09🔗 Drew Was it with a 19-year-old that you lost your virginity?

50:11🔗 Caller Actually, it was my stepbrother when I was about six.

50:15🔗 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Sure. How old was he?

50:21🔗 Caller 18.

50:22🔗 Adam And you were six?

50:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:24🔗 Drew Oh, boy. Can you see that kind of etches something into your psyche and your brain function?

50:29🔗 Caller Well, actually, it's weird because I don't really think about it that much.

50:34🔗 Adam No, you don't have to. If you thought about it, you might not do it.

50:37🔗 Drew Yeah, arousal and attraction does not come from the thinking part of your brain.

50:41🔗 Caller Yeah, like, I know I should.

50:42🔗 Drew People would always choose perfect partners then. If you could just think out, hmm, what do I want? What do I need? Pow. It's not the way it works. Attraction and arousal is built on trauma, oftentimes. And in your case, it's true. Isn't that true?

50:55🔗 Adam That's a lovely thought.

50:56🔗 Drew But it's true. And here you are. Here's where it's etched into your chemistry. I don't know.

51:01🔗 Caller It's like all through. I've been growing up, you know, I've been like raped and molested and...

51:04🔗 Drew Well, that's all. But it all started back with that first experience when you were six.

51:10🔗 Adam Who was raping you and molesting you growing up?

51:13🔗 Caller Well, like, I don't know, just people that I didn't even know sometimes, you know? And they would just like...

51:19🔗 Adam Just rape you and molest you?

51:20🔗 Caller Yeah. And I don't know, like I tell like my friends sometimes, you know, like I know they wouldn't want to hear it because they wouldn't like to change the subject, you know? But I don't know, it's like...

51:33🔗 Adam Where are you calling from, by the way?

51:35🔗 Caller San Dimas, California.

51:37🔗 Adam I see.

51:37🔗 Caller Yeah, it's like around there, but...

51:39🔗 Drew Well, when you are really a high caliber victim, there's sort of no end to victimizers lining up to get after you.

51:47🔗 Adam No, and you're 13. Yeah. You could put together a good 20-year run of rape and molestation.

51:54🔗 Drew Well, no, she'll make a career of this. She'll get into porn, or striping, or something.

51:57🔗 Adam Yes. Well, don't damn her to porn or stripping just yet. Hey, Michelle. Yeah. What's up? Where's your stepbrother now?

52:07🔗 Caller Well, my stepdad also fooled around with my sister a lot. So we left. We lived in Ohio. And we came out here, and my mom wanted to start over, you know? And I came out here, and I had a really rough time. I ended up being stalked and had to transfer schools many times.

52:25🔗 Adam And who stalked you?

52:27🔗 Caller Some 19-year-old guy. He was like one of my friends, older friends, you know? And they gave him my number. And he came to my door with a gun and got me in his car, and took me to Pomona at the top of this hill, you know? And raped me and shot like right next to my head and left me there.

52:44🔗 Adam So, you know, it sounds like a dynamite individual.

52:49🔗 Caller I don't know. It's like it's, it's.

52:51🔗 Adam By the way, just, just going to Pomona is rape, rape enough. Rape one.

52:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:55🔗 Adam Yeah. Just, just being abducted and taken to Pomona is enough, enough cause for some serious therapy. Hey, Michelle.

53:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:03🔗 Adam Okay. Well, hold on, baby. This, I'm telling you, if your life was an etch-a-sketch, I would shake it vigorously. Okay. Here's the deal. You got to stop.

53:14🔗 Drew Get help.

53:14🔗 Adam You have to get help. You cannot act out.

53:17🔗 Caller I really, I mean, it's like, it's like, I write poetry, you know, I'm so like emotionally advanced.

53:23🔗 Drew No, no, you know.

53:25🔗 Adam Yeah. No, it's not. It's not advanced. It's scarred.

53:29🔗 Drew Well, emotionally experienced. Yeah. Does not mean advanced.

53:32🔗 Adam Most people have been raped by 13, although recent reports suggested at least 65 percent of the Hustler readers. Loveline, Loveline College and Hustler readers have. Hey, Michelle, you need therapy. You need counseling. You need a you need a group. I've tried. Yeah, you've tried nothing. You're 13. I tried it.

53:52🔗 Caller You don't.

53:53🔗 Drew How many years do you try for?

53:54🔗 Caller I'm like two or three. I don't know. I've gone to a bunch of them and I just I can't sit and tell somebody about my life. And I don't even know anything about them. You know, I'm not.

54:04🔗 Adam What do you need to know anything about them for?

54:07🔗 Caller I mean, I'm sitting there telling them stuff about me because they're professional. I've been telling me what I should do to make. All right.

54:13🔗 Adam Listen, let me dispel. Let me dispel a very popular notion, which is more BS than it is notion. It's more of an excuse than it is notion. This guy's not my friend. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know me. I don't know him. Good. That's right. That's that's good. That's the way it should be. Same with the pilot who flies the plane. Same with the doctor who puts his finger up your ass. It's best you don't know him. You understand? He's a professional or she's a professional. They're there to do a job. You two having a prior relationship or you knowing that they were divorced two times.

54:48🔗 Drew Screws it up.

54:48🔗 Adam Had a little trouble with cough syrup in the mid 80s is not going to help.

54:53🔗 Drew Screws it up.

54:54🔗 Adam Yes. It makes it worse. You're there for you. They are professionals. It's like you going to a mechanic. He doesn't know my car. He's never driven my car. He wasn't there when I bought it. He doesn't care. He's a professional who works on cars. What's that?

55:09🔗 Caller I don't worry about mechanics.

55:11🔗 Adam It's what you call metaphor there, baby.

55:13🔗 Caller I know. I know.

55:14🔗 Adam You use that in your poetry.

55:16🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay.

55:16🔗 Adam And some simile.

55:17🔗 Drew Michelle, if you don't want help, things are going to get worse.

55:20🔗 Adam Yeah. You're going to hook up with a whole bunch of older abusive guys. It's trouble.

55:24🔗 Drew And I suspect feelings of powerlessness are so profoundly overwhelming to you that you're not willing to trust somebody else. You're not willing to be open and feel that powerlessness in any way. You'd rather be in situations where you are indeed powerless, but believe that somehow you're in control of those situations, that they are your fault, that you were actually in control of them.

55:46🔗 Caller I don't know.

55:47🔗 Drew By acting those out over and over and over and over again.

55:50🔗 Caller I mean, it's not like I've been suicidal before, but it's not like I feel deeply depressed or traumatized, but it's like I have this link to older guys.

56:00🔗 Drew You don't feel much of anything.

56:01🔗 Adam Listen, this link to older guys is going to undo you. Believe there's going to be more 19-year-olds taking you to Pomona.

56:10🔗 Drew Right. There's lots of them.

56:12🔗 Adam You understand me? Now, you tell your mom you need to get some help.

56:17🔗 Caller I don't talk to my mom. The problem is that I don't get along good with my mom and I can't just go up to her and say all this.

56:23🔗 Adam Well, what do you want me to say? What do you want me to do, send over my magic eagle to snatch you up and take you to my hillside highway?

56:30🔗 Caller I don't know.

56:30🔗 Adam Where you can be raised in peace?

56:32🔗 Caller No, but I mean...

56:33🔗 Adam It's not gonna work.

56:34🔗 Caller How am I gonna approach talking to her about this?

56:37🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm sorry. Okay, listen, Michelle, I'm gonna put your whole life in a ten-second nutshell.

56:43🔗 Caller Oh, that's not good.

56:44🔗 Adam You're listening?

56:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:45🔗 Adam Listen to me. I'm sorry for the hand that you got dealt in your life. Your mother is a mess. She chose a horrible, brutal stepfather. God knows what kind of shape your biological father's in, and I'm sorry for all the things that have happened to you up until this point in your life. Now, but you're wise beyond your years, and it's time to make a change, all right? You're aware of that. Yeah. You have two choices. There's two paths. One is counseling. One is reaching out. One is groups. One is relationships. One is therapy. And the other path is 19-year-olds with rancheros with a Bondo all over the passenger door, pistols and Pomona. Now, your natural instinct, your gut instinct, will take you to Pomona. That's where you will go. Like the Swallows coming home to Capistrano. You will go back to Pomona for more raping. I'm telling you this right now. You're mature and you're aware. You can hear me. You're lucid. You have to go the other direction. I know where to go. You have to.

57:51🔗 Drew But these older guys. But Adam, these older guys.

57:53🔗 Adam I don't care. And here's the tough part about that other direction. It's not easy. It's not... Bill Cosby is not going to come over in a 15-tone sweater and agree to raise you in his palatial mansion.

58:05🔗 Drew It's not going to be as gratifying as going after the older guys.

58:07🔗 Adam You have to do it.

58:08🔗 Drew You have to do what you don't want to do.

58:09🔗 Adam You have to talk to a counselor at school. You have to talk to your mom. It's the same deal. You have to do it.

58:14🔗 Drew Same deal.

58:15🔗 Adam All right? All right.

58:16🔗 Caller All right. Thanks a lot.

58:17🔗 Adam All right. Have fun on that day.

58:19🔗 Drew You know, what's fascinating about that part of the brain that gives us attractions and give us, you know, passions towards other people is that it doesn't learn. It doesn't learn. No, it does the same thing over. It's a repetition. And even though she ends up with a guy holding a gun to her head, still doesn't teach her to not go and get in the car with the 19 year old again. Even if she says to herself, I'm never going to do that again. I'm going to look for features of the guy that's not anything like that guy. She'll still find another victimizer.

58:49🔗 Adam Well, the whole part about that side of the brain is so that that one little part that does seem to have some truth and some light never sees daylight. It's just about quieting that one little voice that tells you it's time for some therapy, it's time for some change. And no, the more you do it, the more you do it. It's like drugs. I mean, you want to do some blow, you'll do some blow, you'll do a little more and a little more and a little more. It feeds itself. You don't get it out of your system. It's not like, wow, I did heroin all last week and I got my fill of that.

59:22🔗 Drew But it's not addiction, really. It's a repetition neurosis.

59:25🔗 Adam Yeah, but this is, I mean, I'm no addiction medicine specialist, but I still believe I'm smarter than you are. And I can tell you that it's the same quality. Yeah, it has the same quality. And that it has no end.

59:37🔗 Drew And it doesn't learn.

59:38🔗 Adam You do it in order to stop some pain in the immediate.

59:43🔗 Drew Right.

59:43🔗 Adam And it just has no bottom. It has no finish. It has no fourth quarter, no gun ever sounds. You just keep going.

59:49🔗 Drew Engaging in the same behavior and inspecting a different outcome.

59:51🔗 Adam Right. All right. We will hop to another call here, which is almost. Well, I thought that's enough. Emotionally, I need a break. Come on, let's go have a cigarette and a shot off the flask. I keep strapped to my hip.

1:00:04🔗 Drew Jen.

1:00:05🔗 Caller Yes.

1:00:05🔗 Drew 19. What's up?

1:00:07🔗 Caller Not much. And actually, you guys, I really don't agree completely with the fact that quieting that one little voice for therapy is the only thing that happens. Because eventually, you get to a point where you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. And then that voice that says, you need to get help on this one.

1:00:29🔗 Drew Right.

1:00:29🔗 Caller It kicks in.

1:00:30🔗 Drew Yes, that's true. But some people die before that does kick in.

1:00:33🔗 Caller That's really unfortunate. Yeah.

1:00:36🔗 Adam Well, what do you think I was saying?

1:00:38🔗 Caller Pardon?

1:00:38🔗 Drew He was saying the same thing.

1:00:40🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah. Listen, I'm 19.

1:00:47🔗 Drew Are you an addict? Is that what you know about being sick and tired?

1:00:49🔗 Caller Pardon?

1:00:50🔗 Drew Are you a recovering addict?

1:00:51🔗 Caller Yes, I am. And amongst, and now and on, etc., etc.

1:00:56🔗 Drew Were you a sex addict also?

1:00:57🔗 Caller No. No, actually, on the opposite. No, just booze and actually food. And so, I'm recovering in several areas.

1:01:09🔗 Drew Were you an overeater or just?

1:01:12🔗 Caller A little bit of, well, just a compulsive eater where I'd have the, you know, I'd binge for a week and then I'd starve myself for two. And it kept me out of trouble more than when I'd switch over to drinking. And then, you know, when I'd get in a little too much trouble with that, I'd go back to eating. So luckily, one day at a time, I get to have a...

1:01:36🔗 Drew What's the question now?

1:01:37🔗 Caller The question is, I, it seems that every time I engage in a sexual relationship, I lose interest in sex. And I don't, and it's not that I just got out of a relationship of almost a year and a half and, you know, and before it ended, it... About three months into it, I started just losing interest in sex. And I've noticed that all along that's what happened. I'm wondering if that's normal. What's going on?

1:02:20🔗 Drew Well, there's two ways people can avoid intimacy. One is by engaging in sexual compulsivity, or the other is shutting down the sex. And so, you had mentioned...

1:02:31🔗 Adam You got that one that makes you a boyfriend man. Yeah. Yeah. Well, how often would you guys have sex?

1:02:38🔗 Caller Well, see, I would anyways, just to make him happy.

1:02:43🔗 Adam Oh, good times. Yeah, that's a good girl.

1:02:46🔗 Caller Well, yeah. See, thanks.

1:02:48🔗 Adam Yeah, I like that. God knows the amount of times I've had sex with someone who didn't want to have sex with me. I have no idea. Could be over 100%. I think it could be like 103%. For the next three times I have sex, whatever, I'm doing it in advance. I'm calculating in advance. But I've been grateful each and every time and probably never knew the difference.

1:03:10🔗 Caller Probably.

1:03:11🔗 Adam But, so listen, don't look at his sex, look at his intimacy.

1:03:17🔗 Caller Okay.

1:03:18🔗 Adam And that's what you're pulling away from.

1:03:20🔗 Caller All right.

1:03:22🔗 Adam And that's just, you're 19. I mean, it just takes, it takes time to work this out. But it isn't, when you're slowing down with the sex, do you feel yourself pulling out of the relationship?

1:03:34🔗 Caller No, just the opposite. I really want the, all of the, for lack of a better term, the warm fuzzies of the, you know, just cuddling and watching movies and doing...

1:03:47🔗 Drew Do the guys stop delivering on that?

1:03:50🔗 Caller A lot of times, yes. And in fact, in this last one I found out here after a year and a half, he just was lying to me all along. It was really, really painful. But, you know, and he probably has a drinking problem.

1:04:09🔗 Adam How old was he?

1:04:11🔗 Caller 19. No, 20.

1:04:12🔗 Adam I see.

1:04:13🔗 Caller He turned 20.

1:04:14🔗 Drew I don't know. These things might sort themselves out. You've done some recovery. You're working on Al-Anon. You need some more growth. You need some more experience. You made some bad choices with the guys. Maybe the instinct to pull back was actually a good one. You just didn't really listen to it. You know, maybe this is the wrong relationship.

1:04:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, you mean the lying alcoholic guy?

1:04:33🔗 Drew Yeah, exactly.

1:04:34🔗 Adam Not dare you.

1:04:35🔗 Drew Maybe that was an instinct that was good. I don't know. I think she just needs to... She's 19. She's working a program. I bet these things will kind of sort out.

1:04:45🔗 Adam Well, and also, she's the kind of person... Let me tell you something. Intimacy is something that goes last. I mean, intimate relationships.

1:04:52🔗 Drew What do you mean it goes last?

1:04:53🔗 Adam When you sort yourself out.

1:04:54🔗 Drew Oh, it gets better?

1:04:55🔗 Adam What happens is... No, yeah. What I'm saying is people, you know, they drink or they do coke or they have an eating disorder, they do whatever. They get that under control. They start going to meetings. They got 18 months sobriety under their belt. They're feeling pretty good about themselves. They're exercising. Their relationship with the family is better. Their work is better. Everything's better. Yet, they're still having rocky relationships. And they want to know why. They've got themselves in order. They got their ass together. Why not this? Why don't I just clear up this department? This department is much more involved. It takes much longer.

1:05:25🔗 Drew It's the most complex, the most sensitive.

1:05:28🔗 Adam Even though you've gotten your mess at 17 and you're on top of the world at 19, this one may not clear up until 26. Yeah. Thank you. So, start drinking again. Chad?

1:05:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:40🔗 Adam You're 19.

1:05:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:41🔗 Adam What's up?

1:05:42🔗 Caller Oh, nothing. I was actually just wondering if you guys could call my girlfriend, try and salvage our relationship.

1:05:46🔗 Adam All righty. I got her number. What? You want me to call her in her cell or is she at home?

1:05:52🔗 Caller She's at home.

1:05:53🔗 Adam All right. And you think she'll pick up the phone?

1:05:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:57🔗 Adam And what do you mean salvage?

1:05:59🔗 Caller Well, you ever have those relationships where you get kind of mad at her for some reason, like not a big reason, but one of those little reasons and then go have a few beers with buddies and then just talking like locker room trash to them?

1:06:11🔗 Drew I'm not sure we can salvage this one or maybe we don't even want to.

1:06:14🔗 Adam Well, here's here's what we can do, Chad. If there is an event to undo, I think we can undo it. But if it's an overall type thing, we can't do it.

1:06:27🔗 Drew Well, I'm not sure. I mean, she comes in and abuses her and we're supposed to make that OK.

1:06:31🔗 Caller No, I didn't abuse her at all.

1:06:33🔗 Drew I thought you said you came back and talked, said something to her.

1:06:37🔗 Caller No, no, no. I was just talking with buddies. I was just like kind of upset and I was talking with buddies and I was all just, dude, I don't know. I just am upset. I just got kind of jealous of her because she was going somewhere with a bunch of her friends.

1:06:48🔗 Drew So what is to salvage then? What is it the issue?

1:06:50🔗 Adam Why is she mad?

1:06:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:52🔗 Caller She broke up with me because she said, because I was talking to my buddies and I was like, well, I don't know if I should break up with her or something like that. And she just basically is over my jealousy and was over me saying, why do you keep referring back to what you spoke?

1:07:04🔗 Adam Talking about you and your buddies, putting back some beers. Was she sitting next to you?

1:07:08🔗 Caller No, she wasn't.

1:07:09🔗 Adam So, okay.

1:07:10🔗 Drew Why was she mad?

1:07:11🔗 Adam Why do you keep going back to what you said, your buddies, if she wasn't privy to that information?

1:07:18🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:07:19🔗 Drew She just, I, I'm not sure I want to solve this one.

1:07:22🔗 Adam That's having trouble connecting the dots here. Chad, you went out with your buddies and put back a few beers and talked about her.

1:07:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:07:32🔗 Drew Chad's 19, by the way.

1:07:33🔗 Adam What, what does she know about what you said about her?

1:07:38🔗 Caller Um, well, all right. It's kind of a long story. I didn't want to get into it.

1:07:42🔗 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake.

1:07:43🔗 Caller It's not a long story, though, so I'll keep it short.

1:07:45🔗 Drew All right. It's a long story, but it's not a long story.

1:07:47🔗 Adam Did one of your buddies tattle on you? Did you come home?

1:07:50🔗 Caller Basically, because one of my buddies is dating her.

1:07:53🔗 Drew All right.

1:07:53🔗 Adam Well, there you go. That's the connection we're looking for, Einstein. Jesus Christ. It's like you keep saying you went over here and said something not in front of this person. How the eff are we supposed to know how they found out? Just say one of your drunken buddies squealed on you. There we go.

1:08:11🔗 Drew And that's what made her break up?

1:08:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:08:13🔗 Drew And you don't feel that way? You actually feel differently?

1:08:15🔗 Caller No, I am deep, like, dead in love with her.

1:08:18🔗 Drew Have you told her that?

1:08:19🔗 Caller Yes.

1:08:19🔗 Drew How does she react to that?

1:08:22🔗 Caller She said that she still loves me, too.

1:08:23🔗 Drew Well, we need to get her side of the story.

1:08:25🔗 Adam Chicks always say that.

1:08:26🔗 Drew No, no, no, no. Chad, you're going to have to sit and listen while we get her side of the story, though.

1:08:30🔗 Adam But Chad, you give Sarah the number off the air and then we'll... All right. Is Sarah... Hold on a second, Chad. First off, you got to bring in a guy named Chad. He's going to mature. Is...

1:08:44🔗 Drew What do they get called when they grow up? By their middle name or something?

1:08:47🔗 Adam I don't know, like Chadwick, Chadley, Chadford, Chadman. What's Chad short for?

1:08:52🔗 Drew I don't know. Chadwick, Chadwick, Chadwick.

1:08:55🔗 Adam Chadwick?

1:08:55🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:08:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:57🔗 Drew What'd you ask him?

1:08:58🔗 Caller No.

1:08:59🔗 Drew No.

1:08:59🔗 Adam That's going to be a long story. Oh, my buddies was telling my mom when she was naming me.

1:09:05🔗 Drew Chester, maybe Charles.

1:09:07🔗 Adam My buddies drinking beer with my mom when they were looking through a book of names. Yeah. Hey, Sarah, so what are we going to do? We're going to call Chad's better half. OK. This is great radio. I'm talking to talking to Sarah. What do you see, Sarah? We're going to take a break staring at the floor. All right. We'll take a little break. Drew, get some money out. We got to get something from that vending machine.

1:09:34🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm just thinking.

1:09:34🔗 Adam I'm peckish.

1:09:35🔗 Drew Where's your popcorn?

1:09:37🔗 Adam Oh, where's my popcorn?

1:09:38🔗 Drew Where is my popcorn?

1:09:39🔗 Adam All right, we're going to Popcorn Quest. We may not be back. We don't find it. We may have to make a run. And then we'll get Chad back and we'll get Chad's girlfriend. We'll get to the bottom of this after this.

1:09:52🔗 Caller Hello, what is it?

1:10:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:10:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:10:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:10:20🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:10:21🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:10:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:10:23🔗 Adam Loveline, I'm Adam. That is a Druski over there. When we left off, we're speaking. We got a big tub of popcorn now, which somehow tastes stale, even though it just came right out of the bag. You're getting that vibe?

1:10:35🔗 Drew Yeah, a little bit. It's kind of weird. All right.

1:10:36🔗 Adam Let's take it easy. Don't eat that in the mic, Drew. It's not going to be easy. When we left off, we're speaking to Chad. Chad is 19, went out, put a few beers back with some of his bros. Then one of them squealed when he talked about his old lady. She broke up with him. Chad's still in love, wants her back, wants to see if we can patch things up for her.

1:10:58🔗 Drew I'm going to hear her side of the story.

1:10:59🔗 Adam Yeah, that's right. That is Carrie. Carrie's... How old is Carrie? Carrie?

1:11:04🔗 Caller 17.

1:11:05🔗 Adam 17. What's up there, Carrie? Drew, easy on the corn.

1:11:11🔗 Caller Nothing, how are you?

1:11:12🔗 Drew What happened to the relationship with Chad?

1:11:18🔗 Caller Well I'm sure you've probably already heard his side of the story.

1:11:20🔗 Drew Yeah, we want to hear yours.

1:11:24🔗 Caller Where to start? We have gone out for probably 15 months, on and off, a lot. I think that we both kind of have issues with being jealous of stuff that we shouldn't. But like there's lots of little stuff that has led me to be kind of like...

1:11:53🔗 Adam Oh hold on, Drew I'm going to go catch a nap in Likes' office. Come wake me up when she tells us why they broke up, right?

1:12:01🔗 Drew Well I think what she's building to is something that we hear all the time is that she's been, she's been, this thing's been over for a long time.

1:12:07🔗 Adam We went out to Chee Chee Friday's and I had the bacon club.

1:12:13🔗 Drew Light on the lettuce, little ranch fries, extra mustard. So but he, she's been telling him for a long time this is over.

1:12:20🔗 Adam That was our first date.

1:12:23🔗 Drew I'm going back to eating popcorn. But the point is though, he sees this whole thing as a just, all of a sudden out of the blue, one night I talked to a friend and pow, the whole thing's over.

1:12:32🔗 Caller Guys always like another, the point is like I gave him the best months of your life, a ton of chances to not be this way. I'm not saying that it was a bad relationship and it's not. And I still, it's just the fact that like there's more to it than I could ever explain to you guys on the phone. Yes, but was there like you're never going to know all of it so you can't judge the situation, right?

1:12:56🔗 Adam But that's where you're wrong. I judged. I judge people just based on their skin color. I don't need to know anything, but you do. No, I don't. I make plenty of judge. That's all I do all night. I do it when I'm driving. I do it when I'm on the phone. I cast judgment all the time. Here's the deal.

1:13:12🔗 Drew You're done with this relationship. Is that accurate?

1:13:16🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:13:16🔗 Drew You're done, period.

1:13:17🔗 Adam You're done because in 15 months, he's been a certain way. You know what way that is.

1:13:22🔗 Drew And you don't want to be with him.

1:13:23🔗 Adam And he ain't changing too fast. Is that accurate?

1:13:28🔗 Caller He'll change, but then...

1:13:30🔗 Drew Forget the details. Just get to the bottom line here. You're not open to it again. That's it.

1:13:36🔗 Adam Well, don't talk her out of it.

1:13:38🔗 Drew No, I'm just curious. That's her position.

1:13:42🔗 Caller I just want to not have to deal with stuff right now.

1:13:47🔗 Adam What do you mean?

1:13:48🔗 Caller Just not have to deal with having...

1:13:52🔗 Adam Chad?

1:13:53🔗 Caller No, it's... I don't even know why I'm even discussing this with you guys right now.

1:13:58🔗 Adam Well, what's up in your life?

1:14:00🔗 Caller Just like school and stuff and...

1:14:04🔗 Adam You feel a lot of pressure?

1:14:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:06🔗 Adam Has Chad put more pressure on you?

1:14:09🔗 Caller No, not usually, but it kind of puts a strain on things when we get in fights about stupid stuff and...

1:14:16🔗 Adam Right.

1:14:17🔗 Caller Then he won't accept my apology and we will fight about it and never seems to get completely cleared up and it all just adds up.

1:14:30🔗 Adam So is he a jealous guy?

1:14:33🔗 Caller Probably just as much as I am a jealous girl.

1:14:36🔗 Adam Uh-huh. So you two both have an energy and you clash a little bit.

1:14:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:14:41🔗 Adam And you've been asking for change for some time and he hasn't accommodated that?

1:14:47🔗 Caller It's not that he doesn't try to accommodate, but somehow it always ends up to go like he'll start going back to doing some of the stuff he did before.

1:14:57🔗 Drew Do you want to hear what he has to say?

1:14:59🔗 Caller Sure.

1:14:59🔗 Adam Yeah, I'll put him on. How do we put him on? Drew, put him on at the same time, would you?

1:15:03🔗 Caller Chad?

1:15:04🔗 Adam Well, I guess you heard that. It's not sounding too great. I still see a little bit of light under the door.

1:15:11🔗 Caller You guys are just supposed to call her and tell her how much I love her and that I want her back though.

1:15:14🔗 Adam Yeah, I know, but she's heard that BS before.

1:15:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:19🔗 Adam I mean, 15 months, come on.

1:15:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:21🔗 Adam She's heard it all. And this is what women do. They hear a lot of talk, they listen for a while, and then eventually they tune out.

1:15:28🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:15:28🔗 Adam I think Carrie's tuning out. But Chad, why don't you give Carrie a quick pitch as to why she should be back in this relationship?

1:15:38🔗 Caller Well, I know you don't want to hear that I'll change again because I know that you've heard it before, and what's to think that I won't just change again for a little bit and then stop. But you mean more to me than anything in the world, and I can't even describe it. But I just love you very, very much, and I want to work everything out and just be with you.

1:15:58🔗 Adam Chad, this is Adam Corolla. I'm representing Cary in the relationship. I think you're only making these claims of change because you've been dumped and shooken up.

1:16:09🔗 Caller Not at all.

1:16:10🔗 Adam I bet if my client never dumped you, it'd just be business as usual for you.

1:16:15🔗 Drew Well, Adam, you've been in a situation where when you get back in, you get back in, you go right back to your old ways.

1:16:21🔗 Adam You give it a few days, but then you're right back in. Why should we believe that that's not going to be the case this time around?

1:16:28🔗 Caller Because I don't usually realize that I take stuff out in stupid ways and I act like a dumbass sometimes over stupid stuff. But I realize though, it's like sometimes I don't realize what I've got until I've lost it, you know? But I know, like she said before, I don't know if I could do this again because we've been on and off a couple of times.

1:16:48🔗 Adam Well, now see, that was going to be my next question. How many times has this been?

1:16:56🔗 Caller But see, that's the thing. Instead of getting little arguments, we break up over them instead of talking about it, getting them straightened out, you know?

1:17:03🔗 Adam Yeah. But on the other hand, maybe you guys are trying to force something along that wasn't meant to go along. I know how it is, especially when you're a guy in your 19, you just think every relationship is going to be your last one.

1:17:17🔗 Caller No, not even that.

1:17:19🔗 Adam All right.

1:17:19🔗 Caller Seriously, I don't even think that, but I just know how special she is and how much she means to me.

1:17:25🔗 Adam All right, Carrie, what do you think? You want to try one more time?

1:17:32🔗 Caller I think I don't really want to discuss this in front of...

1:17:37🔗 Adam We don't have any listeners.

1:17:38🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:17:39🔗 Adam No.

1:17:39🔗 Caller That's ironic.

1:17:40🔗 Adam What do you think? You're angry at Chad, aren't you? Why are you angry at him? Because he's disappointed you? Because he hasn't changed?

1:17:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:52🔗 Adam Right.

1:17:53🔗 Caller See, like I said before, there's, like, so much more to the situation.

1:17:56🔗 Adam Oh, I know. But listen, I know what it is.

1:17:58🔗 Caller You guys can judge it and make it part of your show and pick it apart and make jokes about it, but you'll never know.

1:18:06🔗 Adam Hey. Hey, Chad?

1:18:07🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:18:08🔗 Adam Carrie sounds like a pain in the ass. Is she good looking?

1:18:10🔗 Caller I'm a pain in the ass and I'm a big bitch most of the time. Right. But that's who I am.

1:18:14🔗 Adam Right. Hey, Chad?

1:18:16🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:18:16🔗 Adam Why don't you find someone that's a little more laid back?

1:18:19🔗 Caller She is laid back, though. She is beautiful and she's like...

1:18:22🔗 Adam She's laid back like a Dalmatian on a double campuccino.

1:18:25🔗 Caller No way. She's the greatest.

1:18:27🔗 Adam I don't know. I've just met Carrie. I'm not so... I'm not impressed. Carrie, you're good looking, though, right?

1:18:32🔗 Caller I'm not out to impress you, Adam, my friend.

1:18:35🔗 Adam Are you good looking?

1:18:36🔗 Caller She's gorgeous.

1:18:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, Chad?

1:18:39🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:18:40🔗 Adam I don't know if you guys are... your personalities are working out too well. I got a bad vibe about this one. She needs a more artistic type.

1:18:49🔗 Caller I am artistic.

1:18:50🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying. You need a more artistic kind. Chad, no one named Chad is artistic. A, number one.

1:18:56🔗 Caller All right.

1:18:57🔗 Adam And B, number two, he's going down slammin hair.

1:18:58🔗 Drew Why don't you guys call each other? Why don't you go up there and sort of see what you want to do with this? This is not a way to end it here, certainly.

1:19:04🔗 Adam Now...

1:19:04🔗 Drew You know what I'm saying? Just reconnect.

1:19:07🔗 Adam I don't know. You guys have broken up five times. I said this should be the last time. That's it. Chad, you need to move on, buddy. I know you're all wound up in getting her back, but why? Why are you acting out? Why are you telling your buddies that you should break up with her if you're so in love with her?

1:19:26🔗 Caller Because it was one of those just dumb things that I...

1:19:29🔗 Adam No, no. That's not dumb. That's not dumb.

1:19:31🔗 Caller No, because have you ever said stuff that was completely irrelevant, that didn't mean anything at the time you wake up the next morning?

1:19:36🔗 Caller No.

1:19:36🔗 Caller Like, how the hell did I say that?

1:19:37🔗 Drew Quite the contrary. You've said things that you denied yourself had meaning. Right. That ended up having quite a bit of meaning.

1:19:42🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, Chad, if you're sitting around drinking beer, telling your buddies you're thinking about breaking up with her, you're thinking about breaking up with her. This is not the love of your life. It's like if you had a car that you loved and adored, you wouldn't go out and your buddy would get drunk talking about selling it. You'd be talking about waxing it. You'd be giving Carrie a little armor roll. You think about that, Chad. I want you to think about why you're so desperate to get back with someone you were talking about breaking up with. What's that part of you?

1:20:17🔗 Drew People are scared to death of losing the idealized other. When you were 19, imagine how you clung on to stuff.

1:20:26🔗 Adam I was like Velcro. Jesus, Carrie sounds like a pain in the ass. Chad's got his hands full. He really does. Chad's the artistic type. Carrie needs an older guy who's a little bohemian. Chad's a goofball who wants to chug some beers with his buds and then talk smack. Chad needs a goofy, good looking chick who's not too bright. Carrie's good looking, but she's a pain in the ass. Thank you. All right, ready to move forward? Okay. Carrie's angry.

1:20:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:20:55🔗 Adam Yeah. And it didn't sound like she was just angry at Chad.

1:20:58🔗 Drew No.

1:20:59🔗 Adam It sounded like she had some general Global anger.

1:21:01🔗 Drew Global hostility.

1:21:02🔗 Adam Global hostility, yes. And I could see those two fighting pretty good. Reuben?

1:21:08🔗 Caller Yeah, that's me. What's up, man?

1:21:09🔗 Adam Hey, you're 25, Peppy. I am.

1:21:12🔗 Caller How are you doing? Good. Good. I'm working right now. So if there's a little static, then I apologize.

1:21:19🔗 Drew What are you doing?

1:21:21🔗 Caller I'm driving a taxi right now. That's what my story and question relate to.

1:21:25🔗 Adam No, wait a minute. You're not calling from LA or New York.

1:21:29🔗 Caller No, I'm calling from Palm Springs.

1:21:31🔗 Caller Oh, no.

1:21:33🔗 Caller I landed here on Thanksgiving for support Thanksgiving with some friends. And I decided to stay on for about six months.

1:21:39🔗 Adam It's amazing because you have almost no accent.

1:21:43🔗 Drew From where? Where did you land from? OK, this is that.

1:21:47🔗 Caller I'm from New York.

1:21:48🔗 Drew Why aren't you asking about that?

1:21:50🔗 Caller I'm from Ithaca, New York, to begin with.

1:21:51🔗 Drew OK, hold on a second, though.

1:21:52🔗 Adam We've been to Ithaca. Hey, Ruben. Yeah, let me ask you a quick question about taxi cabs. Yeah. How important is it that they have the goddamn scanner up at 10 when I'm sitting in the back seat and they're not paying any attention to it? Do you know what I'm talking about?

1:22:10🔗 Caller Yeah, I know. What's your name, first of all?

1:22:12🔗 Adam What's my name?

1:22:13🔗 Caller The Adam?

1:22:14🔗 Adam Yes.

1:22:14🔗 Caller Adam. OK. Well, the importance of having the radio up. Yeah, because if there's an important transmission that comes in from another driver, like, let's say there's a call along the way driver down. Yeah.

1:22:26🔗 Adam Code 11.

1:22:27🔗 Caller Yeah, you know.

1:22:28🔗 Adam Sure.

1:22:29🔗 Caller You know. Yeah.

1:22:29🔗 Adam But why? Why do? Why do? Couldn't you just have it loud enough so that you could hear it? Because every time I get in a cab, it's like I'm going to the airport. He says stay in the shuttle.

1:22:41🔗 Caller Okay. Yeah.

1:22:42🔗 Adam Yeah. Rahi out to the airport. It's your patch out there.

1:22:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:22:51🔗 Adam The Kenyani residence is out in the airport. You're coming in a train.

1:22:57🔗 Caller Rahi, catch it up.

1:22:58🔗 Drew You have the wrong edge.

1:22:59🔗 Adam And I'm just sitting back there going, Now, I'm driving the cab.

1:23:03🔗 Drew It doesn't always sound like they're in like a metal cave, and they're standing about six feet away from the microphone, yelling at it.

1:23:09🔗 Adam Yeah, here's the thing. I'm the passenger in the cab. I ain't the co-cab pilot. You understand? I feel as if I should be pushing some buttons and flipping some levers at this point. I don't want to be that involved. I'm not that fascinated by the cab process to be that involved by. Shut that goddamn scanner down, or at least turn it down low enough so that only you can hear it. I swear to Christ, I know everything that's going on from the dispatch office every time I get in a cab. And I've driven around the world three times in a cab, and I've never had a driver respond to anything that was said. If they were getting back to the person and they were getting some useful information, then I wouldn't be as critical of it, but they never address it. We just hear it. So turn that thing down. That's what I'm saying. Turn it up now, though. Let me hear it. Put the phone down there.

1:24:01🔗 Caller You want to hear a shout out from my dispatcher here.

1:24:05🔗 Adam Let's hear what's going on. Just turn it up. I want to hear some conversation. Hold on.

1:24:14🔗 Caller What's going on here?

1:24:16🔗 Caller So 183 to 84, you want to give a shout out to what's your name again?

1:24:21🔗 Adam Whoever's on the radio. You're a big fan of the show, Ruben. Hey, Ruben.

1:24:27🔗 Caller Well, now my dispatcher is Adam and Dr. Drew. There you go.

1:24:32🔗 Adam That's what it sounds like.

1:24:33🔗 Drew Normally, they aren't stoners. They're usually some weird Johnny Quest nationality.

1:24:39🔗 Adam Hey, Ruben.

1:24:40🔗 Caller Drive test to get this job. Come on, man. Give me some credit.

1:24:43🔗 Adam All right. Well, you had one of your buddies urinate in a glass for you. So what is your question?

1:24:48🔗 Caller Anyway, the story goes like this, and this is true. I'm three weeks into the job, right? Last week, I'm on my first night alone dispatching, right? And this means I'm the only driver out there.

1:25:01🔗 Adam And that's what I'm talking about.

1:25:03🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm sorry about that. And what happens is that this guy's staring at me through the window of the cab, right? And I think he's weird, but whatever, you know, he's money. So like, you know, he gets in and he says, take me to San Lorenzo. I don't know where that is yet. So I ask another driver, whatever, and I'll cut to the chase. During the ride, he starts, he starts jacking off in the passenger seat. And he's staring at me the entire time.

1:25:28🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, that's why you got that plexiglass shield in there, right?

1:25:31🔗 Caller We don't have it, man. We don't have it because this Palm Springs.

1:25:34🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

1:25:35🔗 Caller I see that.

1:25:36🔗 Caller So he's like sitting in the passenger seat. And I'm and I'm like, and I'm like looking at me and he's and like, he sees that I that I've noticed.

1:25:43🔗 Adam Well, he's in the back seat, right?

1:25:44🔗 Caller No, he's in the passenger seat, man. I made the mistake of like letting him sit next to me.

1:25:49🔗 Adam Why don't you put him on your lamp and let him steer?

1:25:51🔗 Drew How did you figure you wouldn't notice, by the way?

1:25:53🔗 Caller Well, I don't know, man. Like I don't think he was trying. I think like that was his game, man. You know, he was getting off on it.

1:26:00🔗 Adam All right. So you throw him out of the cab.

1:26:03🔗 Caller Well, no, I didn't like throw him out right away. I drove I drove him back to the place I picked him up from. And, you know, the fair was 788. But like I was like, hey, man, I was like, don't worry about the fair. Just get out of the cab. You know, and what he throws the 20 on the seat.

1:26:18🔗 Adam All right, fine. Yeah, it's still stuck to its seat, right?

1:26:22🔗 Caller What's that?

1:26:22🔗 Adam It's still stuck to the seat.

1:26:24🔗 Caller Yeah, there was a little bit of jizz on that.

1:26:27🔗 Adam Oh, fantastic.

1:26:27🔗 Drew Nice.

1:26:28🔗 Adam Hi, Roman. Thanks for that story. I don't know what his question was. I just had to hang up for he asked me who I was. How many times? Why are you calling in? Yeah, I'm going to Bob Hope Drive. I'm going to Palm Desert Drive. It never ends in those cabs. It never, ever ends and they never talk back to them. All right. I got some things I'd like to change. That's all. When you're in charge, you ever you ever take cabs in New York and they have those pre-recorded things in there? Hello, this is Eartha Kitt. You know me as Catwoman.

1:27:14🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:15🔗 Adam So what's your seatbelt on? Oh yeah. Eartha Kitt. Yeah. Oh, sure.

1:27:19🔗 Drew And taxi character.

1:27:20🔗 Adam Yeah. Catwoman. I, you know, when I think of Catwoman, I think passive restraint. That's what I think. I think airbags, shoulder harnesses, side impact beams. I think about automotive safety. I always have because that was one of her sidelines in Batman. She not only played Catwoman, but I think she worked for the GM company doing a safety test.

1:27:44🔗 Drew Judd Hirsch is the other one, right? Judd Hirsch.

1:27:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:48🔗 Drew All right.

1:27:48🔗 Adam You guys got to go to New York and get in a cab and listen to all the epic celebrities. You know, you've bottomed out as a celebrity when you're doing pre-recorded cab messages for the city of New York about putting your belt on.

1:28:00🔗 Drew Nice.

1:28:01🔗 Adam And by the way, I've never put a belt on in one of those camps. We will take a break. We'll be back.

1:28:07🔗 Caller Hello, is this Loveline?

1:28:09🔗 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:28:11🔗 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

1:28:34🔗 Caller 100.7 The Buzz.

1:28:49🔗 Adam It's just true, we almost got through that bag of popcorn in the break.

1:28:52🔗 Drew Time for another one.

1:28:53🔗 Adam We shouldn't have talked. I think we both could have squeezed in another 18 to 25 kernels, had we not had that sort of chatter and breathing. Yeah, no more, okay, mental note, no breathing while I'm eating. Eric?

1:29:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:11🔗 Adam You're 17.

1:29:12🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:13🔗 Adam What's up?

1:29:13🔗 Caller How's it going? Well, I have a problem, basically. Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, we've been having sex for about three months now. And basically, I just, I can't, I keep coming after about three minutes and nothing has changed. Like every single time it seems like.

1:29:31🔗 Drew Can you do a second round here?

1:29:33🔗 Caller Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know what's going on. It just like, I've-

1:29:36🔗 Drew What happened the second time around?

1:29:38🔗 Caller Basically, I don't know. It's basically the same, a little bit longer, but it's the same idea. I don't know what to do.

1:29:46🔗 Drew How about another time around?

1:29:47🔗 Caller Kind of painful after that. But I mean, I've listened to you guys, your show a lot, and basically I've heard you guys talk about how after a while, you can build up a tolerance maybe or something, but that just never happened to me.

1:30:02🔗 Drew 17 is tough.

1:30:03🔗 Adam You mean to sex?

1:30:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:06🔗 Adam Yeah. You're screwed.

1:30:08🔗 Drew No.

1:30:11🔗 Adam I mean, it comes real fast, right?

1:30:12🔗 Drew He'll figure it out. He'll figure it out.

1:30:14🔗 Adam Well, I never said you could build up a tolerance.

1:30:16🔗 Drew Well, I mean, you always tell people to...

1:30:18🔗 Caller Like, not a tolerance, but it gets easier to go longer.

1:30:22🔗 Drew To masturbate beforehand.

1:30:23🔗 Adam Well, you just don't care. At 17, you think potentially you're going to be the world's greatest lover, and then you realize you suck. Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah. Is she a steady? Been that way for a while?

1:30:35🔗 Caller Yeah. Seven months.

1:30:37🔗 Adam Seven months.

1:30:37🔗 Caller Yeah. Pretty kind of long, I think.

1:30:39🔗 Adam Yeah. That's six years when you're my age. Listen, Eric, is she cool? I mean, can you talk about this stuff? Yeah. All right. You see, you sound fairly adjusted. You sound like you get your feet on the ground. You communicate with her. You guys have a decent relationship. This is the kind of thing you just work out.

1:31:02🔗 Drew Is she upset by it?

1:31:03🔗 Caller No. I mean, no magic answer.

1:31:06🔗 Drew You work this out.

1:31:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:07🔗 Adam I mean, how about some of that dong numbing cream you order in the back of the Hustler magazine? Wisdom of the Orient brought to the States.

1:31:16🔗 Caller Sounds like a good plan.

1:31:17🔗 Adam Yeah. You can't rub a little Coke on your dork before you get it on.

1:31:21🔗 Caller Yeah, that could work.

1:31:22🔗 Drew No, come on.

1:31:23🔗 Adam No. How about a little, hey, Drew, seriously, how about a little like preparation age?

1:31:27🔗 Drew No.

1:31:28🔗 Adam How about something that numbs a little bit?

1:31:30🔗 Drew There's some very powerful numbing agents out there. But what about it?

1:31:33🔗 Adam I'm not numbing that dork a little bit.

1:31:35🔗 Drew That's an interesting idea, but I don't think you can.

1:31:36🔗 Adam Numb down. What about it? It's not going to hurt you. I mean, hell, if you can rub a tube of it on your ass, certainly put a little dollop on the joint.

1:31:44🔗 Drew Yeah, but I don't know that would make a difference. I mean, think it's a spinal reflex. I mean, think about it.

1:31:47🔗 Adam On the other hand, she may not have a bunch of ass cream up her.

1:31:51🔗 Drew That's true. She gets numb too.

1:31:53🔗 Adam Oh, interesting. Hey, Eric. Yeah, I'm sorry. I think I'm coming on to something with this preparation age.

1:32:00🔗 Drew Put a condom on over the lidocaine jelly?

1:32:02🔗 Adam Oh, do you wear a condom? Yeah. Hey, Eric, do me a favor. Now, what is a numbing agent, Drew? Xylocaine. What would you use that for?

1:32:13🔗 Drew Like gum, numbing gum up and things.

1:32:14🔗 Adam Yeah, but that might be a little tough on the sensitive skin down there that covers C. Johnson. What about a little preparation age? What does that do?

1:32:24🔗 Drew You're hell-bent on that.

1:32:25🔗 Adam Yeah, I like the ass cream. Well, it's the same region. Does that numb you? Would that numb you?

1:32:30🔗 Drew I don't think so.

1:32:30🔗 Adam What does preparation age do?

1:32:32🔗 Drew Shrinks the inflamed tissues.

1:32:34🔗 Adam Is that what hemorrhoid cream does?

1:32:35🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:32:36🔗 Adam So what would have some numbing? So some of that like oragel, something like that would have like a numbing effect.

1:32:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:32:42🔗 Adam Obviously, if you're slapping it inside your mouth, it ain't going to hurt you.

1:32:46🔗 Drew What's the xylocaine gel again?

1:32:47🔗 Adam Hey, Eric?

1:32:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:50🔗 Adam Go down to the drug store.

1:32:52🔗 Drew But I'm not recommending this.

1:32:54🔗 Adam Drew does not endorse this. And I'm not a doctor, but I got a gut feeling about this one. Grab just a little bit of that ore gel. Just a little dab of that. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Stuff you put on your wisdom tooth when it hurts. Right. Spread just a little dallop of that on the dork, and then put the condom over that.

1:33:16🔗 Caller Okay.

1:33:16🔗 Adam Now, don't get any on the outside of the condom. Keep it on the inside.

1:33:20🔗 Caller All right.

1:33:20🔗 Adam Do you think that will eat away the condom?

1:33:23🔗 Drew When you get the urethritis, so that'll be nice.

1:33:25🔗 Adam Oh, really? You don't think that'll work? Actually, Drew doesn't think it will work. Put a little on the Johnson and see what it does.

1:33:34🔗 Caller Okay.

1:33:35🔗 Drew All right.

1:33:36🔗 Adam Good times, buddy.

1:33:37🔗 Caller Yeah, you too.

1:33:38🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:33:39🔗 Drew Enjoy.

1:33:39🔗 Adam Enjoy. Numb that penis. You can get an extra couple strokes out of it. That's good times, right? I think I'm on to something. I can get some of that for myself. Mikey? Yeah. Are you Mickey or Mikey?

1:33:54🔗 Caller Mikey.

1:33:55🔗 Adam What's up there, Mikey?

1:33:56🔗 Caller Well, first, I wanted to know if TV Guide was right in saying that you were resigning from Loveline?

1:34:06🔗 Adam I don't... You mean that article that was on Jimmy?

1:34:09🔗 Caller Yeah, Jimmy.

1:34:10🔗 Adam Yeah. I don't know. Did it say I was resigning from Loveline?

1:34:15🔗 Caller Yeah, it said you already left Loveline.

1:34:19🔗 Adam Well, maybe they're talking about the TV show.

1:34:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Well, that's what I thought, but it didn't say anything about Drew. It just said about you.

1:34:26🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:27🔗 Adam Well, America doesn't know Drew's name, so it would be confusing to them. And the long-winded explanation would take up too many words on the page.

1:34:36🔗 Caller Okay.

1:34:36🔗 Adam No, I'm here. I'm completely...

1:34:39🔗 Drew Everyone knows that I was my sidekick, so...

1:34:40🔗 Adam I'm completely committed to this show, at least for another 30 seconds, so hurry.

1:34:44🔗 Caller Okay. The other thing I wanted to talk about is that girl, Michelle, who called earlier. Yes. And I wanted to say that she really needs to get help now, because it's almost the same thing happened to me. I was sexually abused from the time I was six, and I went to a therapist finally in... when I was 23, but I had to leave him after nine months, and he then maintained the relationship with me as a daddy, and he physically and sexually abused me for over two years.

1:35:30🔗 Drew It's amazing the way we find those people.

1:35:32🔗 Caller Yeah. You know...

1:35:34🔗 Adam Hey, hey, Mikey, unfortunately, we're out of time. I'm sorry about that. I really am. And I hope you're doing OK now.

1:35:43🔗 Caller Well, I am, and I just wanted to say that she needs to get help now so she doesn't go through the garbage I went through.

1:35:51🔗 Adam Yes. And I'm glad you called up and sent that message. And I guess the more important message was don't find a therapist. He's going to call you. And you're going to call daddy, and he's going to continue raping you.

1:36:03🔗 Drew Recommended by somebody.

1:36:04🔗 Adam Is that her message?

1:36:05🔗 Drew Legitimate.

1:36:06🔗 Adam All right. We'll be back. Well, there you have it. Another fabulous episode of Loveline. In the can, as we call it. Tomorrow Night, Crazy Town will be in here. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.

1:36:49🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback