2:15🔗
Adam
Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, he is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician, an addiction medicine specialist, and welcome to another fabulous chapter of The Best of Loveline.
2:29🔗
Adam
Yeah, now here's the thing that's going to sound a little confusing, we're starting tonight off with Tom Arnold, and I know he doesn't sound like the best.
2:36🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know, you know why? Because he told that story about working at a slaughterhouse, shooting pigs, and his sister being in prison.
2:45🔗
Adam
It's good times. Speaking of the best, we got Jimmy Kimmel, my beloved Jimmy Kimmel, the Emmy Award winning Jimmy Kimmel will be on here.
2:54🔗
Adam
My partner in Ace, Jimmy Kimmel will be here. Cypress Hill, these are friends of the show. They get mellower every time we see them because they've smoked 10 kilos more of weeds since the last time we saw.
3:22🔗
Adam
You remember Ducky Boy. He's going to come in and talk about what a delight it is living next door to me. Tonight, we'd like to welcome back to the show, Tom Arnold.
3:33🔗
Adam
You know what I like about you, Tom? Always evolving, a real work in progress. You know, every time you see Tom, he's either kicked something or lost something. Yeah.
3:44🔗
Adam
Got out of a relationship, put down a crack pipe, dropped 40 pounds, he's on to something.
4:10🔗
Best Of
I'm dating. You got to be in shape for that. Oh, you know, you got to be in shape to get the date. And then you get it locked in. Then you can gain it back. Yeah.
4:20🔗
Adam
Yeah. It's funny how you care about looking good for a short period of time in a relationship. And then after that, it's like you're cramping with the door open and it's like, honey, I got a zit on my back. Get that, get that paper clip and see if you can get it.
4:32🔗
Best Of
They like doing that though. Well, women are, half women love that, other half hate it. But the ones that like it, love it.
4:45🔗
Best Of
Oh, I've seen it. I've seen it collected and eaten. Oh, I'm gonna tell you. I'm not gonna say who. I'm not gonna say who, but it's, I've seen it happen.
4:54🔗
Oh, my God. I have not.
4:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Women, women love futzing, futzing with a guy. And, you know, it's funny, a man wants to touch a woman sexually, but other than that, he don't want a lot of contact with her.
5:09🔗
Adam
But that's still, it's still almost a precursor to sex. But what I'm saying is, is you're not, you're not, you're not picking out any black heads or wiping any asses.
5:26🔗
Drew
Men don't really want to be reminded of the fact that it's a biological entity that they're talking about. It's a pillow, it's an angel.
5:34🔗
Adam
Like, I like to look at women as very elaborate, sophisticated, inflatable dolls. You know what I mean? Like, they really got it right this time. But you certainly don't want to walk by the bathroom and see some tampon or something rolling around or anything like that.
5:48🔗
Best Of
Right. But you know, you're the first guy to offer to whip it out of there if you want to get too busy.
6:02🔗
Yeah.
6:12🔗
Best Of
How about the dog? That's worse. Dog running through the house. What she got in her mouth, for God's sake. Stop it, company.
6:31🔗
Best Of
Well, you know, there was a time when I worked too much, and that's probably why it's been harder.
6:35🔗
Adam
Here's the question. Could you do two movies a year, have some free time and sort of relax? I mean, could you do that?
6:44🔗
Best Of
If I could guarantee that I would have two good movies a year, you know, supporting roles in good movies, and then then I would probably maybe do a little stand up. But I mean, you're a guy that's had what you got the one show and you had that other show and you got this show and you got commercials. Yeah. So what's the deal?
7:02🔗
Adam
But I always, I always think to myself if I could just slide into doing a couple movies a year, I would gladly just stay home.
7:17🔗
Best Of
Work is hard though. It is. I'd like to get the offer, but I don't like to do it. You know, like I was glad when you guys called, you know, that sounds great. And then it got closer and closer and I was like, oh my God, even tonight, I was watching the game and I was going, okay.
7:38🔗
Yeah.
7:44🔗
Caller
It's like one of them is I know, I know when I get off those things, but I don't hardly ever.
8:16🔗
Caller
I don't know. I talked to my friends about it, and they're like, you are crazy. I don't like it.
8:34🔗
Adam
All right. What if the guy wasn't wearing as much jewelry? I mean, what if he just slowed down a little? Took it easy on you.
8:58🔗
Adam
Yeah, women can sort of work that area a little better when they're on top. Actually, but at 18, isn't it still developing?
9:15🔗
Drew
Find a relationship somebody really care about and you won't be so focused on that, the climax.
9:21🔗
Caller
Well, kind of. He's like coming back from California. He don't know if he wants to move back or just.
9:27🔗
Adam
Okay. Here's my point. I bet it'll be easier for a guy to go down on you if you're having a good relationship with the guy.
9:34🔗
Drew
Or you'll just, you know, you'll relax. You'll be more involved in the intimacy and some of this.
9:42🔗
Best Of
Maybe you should masturbate because that's a way. So honestly, that's a good way to get to know yourself. Know what you like. You're secure. You know, you can make it happen yourself. So then you teach the guy.
9:51🔗
Drew
You see if you agree with me on this is an interesting thing about women is that they they the only thing we know how to communicate with them about masturbation is using sort of terms and mechanical descriptions that are suitable to men and women just it doesn't make sense that could you could you masturbate, Jessica?
10:11🔗
Drew
Yeah, they just say, it just says they have to they have to connect with an emotional experience that is a sort of an intimate place in order for all that sexual material to sort of function. Yeah, for me, it's like, hey, you put it here, you do this, and it's mechanical period.
10:27🔗
Adam
You know, what I, what I, what I, Tom, what I call that intimate place where I go to masturbate for myself, I call it earth.
10:34🔗
Adam
I don't give a rat's ass where I'm out in the yard or at my parents' house. Doesn't matter.
10:39🔗
Best Of
But that's because you're older. When you get older, because when I was Jessica's age, I was too embarrassed to admit that I did that. I would say, no, my friends, we make fun of each other. Now that I'm 41, I've got a whole system. You know, it's the same video, the towel, half wet, half dry, astroglide.
10:56🔗
Best Of
Half warm water on the one side and dry on the other for the cleanup afterwards. And then, you know, you got, but I'll tell you what, you get lube on the remote control, you're in trouble.
11:07🔗
Best Of
But so you got to use just the one hand. But it's a whole system and it really works for me.
11:13🔗
Caller
You know what? I actually made up my question. I apologize for that, but I'm dying to talk to you guys.
11:19🔗
Caller
I just think you guys are awesome. And I totally admire you for all the time and energy you spend on these colors. It's really cool.
11:26🔗
Drew
Wait, wait now, Ashley. You heard Adam doesn't spend much energy at all. If you have to spend energy, you start screaming at him.
11:36🔗
Caller
I go to a really small private girl school and there's not much information circulating to say the least.
11:56🔗
Adam
You know what I mean? I think you guys should be wearing orange jumpsuits like prisoners. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, I mean, think about it for a second. I know it sounds I mean, this is a problem, right? I mean, there's a lot of young women pregnant being sexually assaulted and stuff. You put them in the pigtails and the plaid skirt and knee high socks. And you're asking for trouble.
12:20🔗
Caller
Well, not really. It's just it's kind of weird to have these girls with really short skirts and makeup, you know, when it's all girls, it's kind of weird. But no, not really.
12:30🔗
Adam
Do the girls still get dutted up or primped for each other? Yeah, that's amazing. You go to an all boys' squad, we walk around a pair of sweatpants with an erection or like mustard on it and slippers, you know.
12:57🔗
Adam
But women do compete with other women, I think. And men compete with other men when there's women around or in sports, but not amongst each other when there's no women around.
13:10🔗
Adam
Yeah, I mean, yeah, they see who can eat the most bakos. Right. They do smart things like that. I love that. I have my friends like once. It was great, like three of them, to see how much water they could drink. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. In 10 minutes, you know, they all vomited. Yeah, that's correct. It's great. It's great paying guys like I have a friend that paid a guy a hundred bucks to eat a cube of butter and he vomited.
13:44🔗
The first one is Adam.
13:54🔗
Adam
Well, it's mainly guys. Blue collar is a pretty scary way to go with the guys. That's per capital. That's alcoholism and rapists and child abuse and stuff like that. And then even that has a pecking order. And I guess, you know, sort of Finnish carpenter sort of at the top and it works its way down to welder. And I worked with a guy when I used to do earthquake rehab work, I worked with a couple of welders. And they're the scuzziest guys in the world. Most welders get into welding so that they can fix their motorcycles. They're usually bikers who get jobs at muffler shops. Now, I'm not talking about a big chain, Minike or something, or Midas or something like that. But go to a hole in the wall muffler place and take a look at the dude who's sitting in there with that scraggly beard and he's got his hog leaned up against the wall, and he's got all his nudie magazines everywhere. And I worked with this dude named Russ. And Russ told me the first day I met him, and that's what I like about these guys. The first day I met the guy, he was telling me how he put pop rocks in his wife's coups and ate it. And I thought, you know, I've known you for four and a half hours, and you're telling me how you violated your wife with candy.
15:05🔗
Best Of
I mean, it seems like something that would be in the back of your mind and come up, you know, just happen to have some.
15:12🔗
Adam
But no, I was so disgusted by the look of this guy, Russ. He was like toothless and he was scraggly. You know, when guys are really skinny and look really out of shape at the same time, it's kind of a tall order, but it's really bad. Like, like super skinny with a gut.
15:32🔗
Best Of
I worked in a meatpacking plant. Yeah, that's a whole different that's a whole different animal because, you know, we got guys in there that are, you know, the guys that were in livestock who actually did most of the killing are a different breed than the guys who did the cutting, you know, and they get, you know, it went to, you know, it was in Iowa back in Tomlinson.
15:50🔗
Drew
It's like people follow the path of least resistance. They go to the place where they don't feel.
15:55🔗
Drew
You know, we were talking to Kim Cole about this last night. She had some experiences where she couldn't understand why she was going back for some abuse. And it was like, she didn't even notice that she was being abused. Right. They didn't have a feeling about it.
16:06🔗
Best Of
Oh, I did it three years. Three years. No windows. You know, it's 5,000 hogs a day we killed and, and you know, they cut, you know, just cut them up, but it was the best job in town. My grandpa worked there 50 years.
16:21🔗
Best Of
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had my nickname was Gunner because my job, if the hog had a broken leg, my job was to shoot it in the head and, and kill it, you know, put it out. It's misery. And, and so one day there was six of them with broken legs and it was lunchtime. So you're supposed to shoot them one at a time and then hang them up and then cut their throat, you know, like the humane way. And I just shot them all and then went to lunch and they condemned them. They said these can't be used and then I almost got fired and then I got the nickname Gunner.
16:47🔗
Best Of
Yeah, you got to cut their throats right away to get that blood out of them because it taints them. As soon as they're dead, they have to be hung up by their backhoof. And they do what the way they usually say with hookers, by the way. I don't know if people know that people should eat meat to know this. But the way they do kill them, they shock them and it drops them down. Oh, they walk onto a grate or they walk onto it and they put this thing comes on their back with these prods and it just shocks them and knocks them out. Then they hang them up by their backhoof and cut their throat right away. That's how they kill them.
17:18🔗
Best Of
That's for the humane. They used to hit them in the head with a hammer and a lot of times you have to hit them a whole bunch of times.
17:27🔗
That's not good.
17:35🔗
Adam
But they give them the shock and then you have to slit their throat and hang them immediately.
17:42🔗
Adam
Okay, so you got to get them up on a hoist or something and bleed them immediately because the blood sits in them for any period of time.
17:52🔗
Adam
Yeah, that's got to, you got to feel good when you're a hog that Tom Arnold just put a 44 slug in your head and you're going out in the dumpster. Nice. Nice life. Thank God you're here.
18:09🔗
Best Of
Yeah, they couldn't be hung up because their leg was broke. It wouldn't hold by the chain. I mean, it's sad, but, you know, that's the way it went. You know, I worked on farms, then I shot them and then they were dead and then we used them for other types of activities like, you know, pepperoni for pizza. We would get these boars in that had been out like, you know, 1800 pounds that had had tusks and they'd been in the farmer's fields. They had didn't know where they were for years. They bring them in. They're so big and mean. We try to weigh them and they're so violent. You got to be careful. And well, one guy had this big bar. And as soon as they were, they'd be knocking people around. They killed a guy once and knocked me around. He'd take that bar. You know, wait a minute.
18:56🔗
Best Of
The inspector was down by, but this is how crazy these people are at work there. And then, you know, the testicles in the back, he took that iron bar and just gave him a little tap and then it would kind of settle down and then they could shock them and cut their throats. Right.
19:18🔗
Best Of
It was hard. But that's just on the kill floor. If you're in a ham bone or something like that, you don't really see that. You just see the hams. You, they aren't, they aren't human. They aren't animal. They aren't alive.
19:28🔗
Adam
Yeah. But being down on the floor when they're, you know, especially after, did your mom read you Charlotte's Web when you were grown up?
19:40🔗
Best Of
Oh, yeah. I used to eat meat. I'd cut a ham and come by. I'd cut a big chunk off and cook it in my meat cleaner. You know, you had a little hot steamer there and eat it. You know, whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:52🔗
Best Of
Yeah, it's like a big, it's like a cup that's full of hot water that keep you clean your knife in it and it's boiling and you just cut a piece of ham off and put it in there and eat it. Yeah. Nice.
20:05🔗
Adam
And I'm a Jew. This is why you're scared to not work by the, now listen, you're not Jewish when you're in Iowa.
20:11🔗
That's true.
20:12🔗
Adam
That's true. No wonder the guy's scared to turn down work. He's going to slap and he's going to the floor. He's going to do some slitting. All right. One last question. When you shoot the hog, do you shoot it with a pistol?
20:24🔗
Best Of
No, we shoot it with it. Well, it's a pistol type weapon that has a bolt that's about, There's a hammer in it, right? Yeah, it's a bolt that comes out about eight inches or six inches maybe. It goes into right behind the ear and it immediately, if you do it right, you get them down immediately.
20:41🔗
Best Of
Yeah. Now my sister works there. She got out of prison after 10 years last year and she's already got a job down there and doing great.
20:54🔗
Adam
I could do another. You know, here's the problem with this show, quite honestly. I get told constantly by the program director, stop talking and start taking calls. But when Tom Arnold comes in here and talks about putting hits on pigs and going to lunch and his boiling pot in front of him and his sister doing time, what are you supposed to do with that?
21:26🔗
Caller
This evening, Love Line is brought to you by Car Toys and the Cobalt Lounge. Right here on 947NRK, the Muroc Alternative.
21:58🔗
Adam
It is Love Line, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're here with the Emmy Award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, who can be found on The Man Show Sundays, 10 o'clock on Comedy Central.
22:13🔗
Jake? Yeah.
22:17🔗
Caller
Hey, that's right. First of all, just saw The Man Show. That x-ray specs thing was great.
22:21🔗
Caller
It's a classic. First thing, hey, Drew, you say that spanking is a form of child abuse.
22:33🔗
Drew
That seems to be the threshold issue that spanking, a single episode of spanking, you're supposed to spank if it's a behavior that you need to have stopped immediately, like walking into traffic or something dangerous.
22:49🔗
Drew
While spanking will stop the behavior in the moment, within the next two weeks, you'll see increasing truancy and acting out. And if you continue to spank, you tend to string together this truancy, and you end up with a kid who's sort of antisocial. Now, if you then factor in striking with an object, then it becomes a whole different thing.
23:10🔗
Caller
Well, I don't understand because, you know, I, for one, I was spanked with a belt. And my sister was, and my parents were, and my grandparents were. And my question is, if we were all, you know, if everybody I know was spanked with an object, how come we're not all screwed up?
23:27🔗
Caller
Nobody that's screwed up though thinks they are screwed up. So you could very well be screwed up.
23:31🔗
Adam
Yeah. We should really talk to some of your coworkers. I'm sure they'd have a whole different spin on this screwed up thing. Plus you're going through your entire family lineage and everyone beat everyone with a belt.
24:16🔗
Adam
Yes, and I want to say this. I don't have kids. I've learned a few things from the show. When I do have kids and I do want to discipline them and on the off chance I do have to spank them, I don't want them to associate the spanking with me, so I'm working on a spanking machine. It'll be down in the garage, I'll strap them in and then I'll leave the room.
24:44🔗
Adam
From heaven. I don't know. Ace Rockolla. Actually, I was sleeping, I was sound asleep, I was dreaming and then I woke up jacked off and then I thought of Ace Rockolla.
25:04🔗
What's up?
25:06🔗
Caller
Okay, I went and got tested for chlamydia and stuff last week and my doctor called and told me I had it and like right after he told me, like my body started totally changing and like I started having the typical signs.
25:27🔗
Caller
Well, it was just my yearly exam. I was like, I'm just going to do a culture for chlamydia and I was like, okay.
25:44🔗
Caller
But anyways, so the doctor said you need to call the guys you've been with and let them know.
26:05🔗
Caller
But if this is the kind of thing that just nobody ever even realizes it, I mean, how bad is it? What happens with this chlamydia?
26:13🔗
It's the leading cause of infertility.
26:18🔗
Caller
Listen, everybody's worried about all this. You just put something in the water. We wouldn't need the condoms or anything like that.
26:23🔗
Drew
And oftentimes women do not know they have this, and it's the years of smoldering infection that causes the infertility. That's why they screen for it regularly.
26:47🔗
Caller
I think it would make it easier for you and Humorous, and they'd get probably a charge out of it.
27:00🔗
All right.
27:15🔗
Drew
Why don't you go get treated? Because the longer it stays in you, the higher the probability that it's going to get into the tubes and cause PID, okay?
27:24🔗
Adam
All right, but she'll be all right. She hasn't had it for long. I mean, some people have it for years.
27:48🔗
Drew
By the way, how dare he yell and scream at them? That's part of the, if he wasn't wearing a condom, that's the risk he takes.
27:53🔗
Caller
Yeah, but if you think about it, I get mad when people give me a cold even though, you know, it's like, oh yeah, great, I got your cold.
28:03🔗
Caller
Well, I have a feeling I know who I got it from because it says it takes like two to three weeks to show up. Right. And I've only been with one guy since then.
28:18🔗
Caller
And he doesn't know that, so his mom's like, well, can I give him a message? I was like, yeah, tell him he gave me chlamydia.
28:30🔗
Drew
No, that's not so great. Absolutely. I mean, I'm proud of you for stepping up and telling the partners and being responsible, but telling them, well, I was a little aggressive. No, no, no.
28:49🔗
Adam
Yeah, he gave her chlamydia. And by the way, I would have called him first and said, listen, here's some numbers of some guys you've got to call because you got the whole thing started.
29:25🔗
Caller
See, those are the calls you should record because when you're 60, you're gonna want those, right?
29:32🔗
Caller
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. We aren't, Drew. Of course we aren't. These people are savages if this goes on.
29:47🔗
Adam
Well, we had a guy call in last week. He was like 16. He pulled an all-nighter. He met some guy at a gay club. He brought him home and his mom walked in, you know, opened the door to his bedroom at like eight in the morning on a Sunday morning. The kid was performing fellatio on himself while the guy he picked up was basically masturbating on the bed next to him. And I said to Drew that you should as a parent keep the Sinai pill. Keep it in your cheek all the time. But when you knock on the kid's door, this is after puberty, you slide it in between your two back teeth.
30:25🔗
Adam
And if you ever see him performing fellatio on himself and a guy in a leather vest jacking off, you just chomp down on it. No questions asked. You only have time to process it. Like a Nazi war criminal living in Argentina. You know?
30:41🔗
Adam
You see the Jewish underground coming up the driveway, just bite down on that thing. Yeah. You know, it's going to be just years of torture and torment. You probably get hung at the end of it. You just keep that. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. I mean, you guys don't need it yet. I'm saying in a few years. We know it would be a better idea. You guys should just move out, you know, when your kids hit puberty. You guys do okay. Get them some kind of tree house to live in. Take a long nap.
31:13🔗
Yeah.
31:26🔗
Adam
For me, judging from experiences from the age, usually 11 to 14, that's when they're at their peak.
31:44🔗
Caller
I asked her about it and she said that she wasn't comfortable with something like that.
31:54🔗
Drew
That's what that means. I mean, why would she not take advantage of something to prevent the pregnancy?
32:18🔗
Caller
Can't you just put this in her food or something? I mean, seriously, this series is serious. Sprinkle it over her beef.
32:43🔗
Caller
Well, best friends. I don't like when guys use that term with their girlfriend or their wife.
32:54🔗
Drew
You still may be gay. This is him taking care of an abused kid, probably, helping protect her.
33:38🔗
Come on.
33:57🔗
How old were you?
34:11🔗
Caller
Well, listen, not great timing. Everyone loves mashed potatoes, right? Does she like mashed potatoes? Get one. You'll hold one in the morning after pills and just put it in there. Get it.
34:54🔗
Drew
What I did notice when you talk about the best friends thing, Jimmy and Gina seem to be just best friends.
35:05🔗
Drew
I think he got up and announced something by the effect of, Gina, a lot of people don't like you.
35:18🔗
Caller
She was drunk. You know how it is. You have to keep her in check. When she's drunk, she starts telling embarrassing stories.
35:33🔗
Adam
Well, Drew, your wife does the same thing. There's something about women, they have a few high balls and they love to just embarrass the hell out of the guy. Yes. What is that? What are they paying you back for?
35:56🔗
Adam
But no, what I mean is you get drunk, you don't have any other feelings other than sexual, let's say. But you don't have its payback time.
36:06🔗
Adam
You know what I'm saying? It's a little disconcerting to be with someone who gets drunk and thinks it's payback time.
36:12🔗
Drew
I don't get payback. But what I get is more stories that seem funny when you've been drinking and are just plain old embarrassed.
36:19🔗
Yeah.
36:32🔗
We'll be back after this.
36:41🔗
Caller
Pay attention, there's valuable information coming up. And Love Line will be right back on the New Rock Alternative, 947 NRK.
37:25🔗
Adam
That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Bobo and Be Real are both here from Cypress Hill. Sarah?
37:34🔗
Yeah?
37:56🔗
Not good for you.
37:57🔗
Drew
Yeah. It sort of takes you away from your peers. It makes you focus on people that are really a very different place in their life, and who might be looking at you more as an object and less as a person. Adam would be just awful to be around.
38:10🔗
Adam
Yeah. It'd be horrible to be around me. Yeah. And what about me? I have to be around me all the time.
38:20🔗
Oh, yeah. Okay.
38:22🔗
Adam
That would hurt. Hey, Sarah, there's a sort of catch-22, which is 36-year-old guys that want to spend a lot of time with 19-year-old chicks are a little bit flawed, unless the chicks are really hot-looking. But even then, it's a little bit flawed. You know what I mean?
38:49🔗
Caller
But, okay, now is there any way to stop myself from liking these guys? Because I've tried to like guys my age.
39:30🔗
Caller
So is there any way to train myself not to like them? I mean, knowing that, I mean, that's something that I've always kind of figured was the problem, but it doesn't help.
39:38🔗
Adam
How about you find like a nice 25-year-old guy who spent too much time in the sun or something? You know what I mean?
39:44🔗
Drew
You know, what's interesting, I wonder if she were with an older guy, would it be a stable guy, if she were to choose a 25-year-old, it would be the guy that was ready to leave. You know what I'm saying, whether she would act that out.
39:59🔗
Caller
My problem now is that there's another guy, I didn't know anything about him. We know we started talking and I liked him, and he's right around 36, and I just found out he's married.
40:17🔗
Adam
Don't talk lesbian. Yeah. Listen, find yourself, why don't you find a nice 24-year-old Jewish guy, because those guys act like they're 45.
40:24🔗
Drew
Okay. You start dating more regularly, and you'll find that people become less of these objects and more somebody you really start caring about.
40:59🔗
Adam
Every year. Now, I didn't go in to pick this magazine up. I was trying to get a car magazine, but you know what happened. There's the big, there's the big boob cruise just burning a hole in you while the guy goes back to get the back issue of Car and Driver and you're just staring at that big boob cruise. This magazine, it's, I think it's Score magazine. And each year they have this big boob cruise. Minka was on it. She's the number one Asian big boob queen. And they go out on a boat with like 15 of the biggest of the big top porn chicks and like eight guys with seven million rolls of film and 700 cases of beer. And it must cost these guys like 20 grand or something. And they go on this like Jamaican cruise on this yacht. And it's like, here's what it is. It's like somebody took a strip club and put pontoons on it and just floated you out in the ocean with you and your buddies for a week.
42:02🔗
Adam
I know. A goal. That's what I was thinking. I got to get on to this big boob cruise. Imagine being on the big boob cruise.
42:17🔗
Adam
Oh, it's been so long since she's need me in the groin. Yeah, I mean, Drew, I'm going to bring this thing in on Sunday night. You're going nuts when you see this big boob cruise. They got pictures of them, like on the plane flying over to Jamaica, then on out on the cruise. And the guy then are like on the beach playing volleyball. And they're doing like lap dances on the top side while the chefs down below whipping up some confection. I mean, this is the greatest. This is like the. And it's funny because these guys are on their 40s. It's a weird thing because you couldn't afford the big boob cruise unless you had a few serious bucks in the bank. So it just means it's for older guys. I don't know if any of them are married. I can imagine your wife grabs an issue of the Big Boob Cruise magazine. And there you are. You crawled under Minka and there's a picture of you. Drew, I'm going to bring this thing and you'll go nuts. He may want to go on vacation. Yeah, he might take the big boob cruise. Dimitri?
43:27🔗
Adam
Thank you. That's nice. You know, I'd like to get more kids into Satan worship and Santeria, but that's great.
44:15🔗
Adam
Yes, it's not like that. OK. So you don't do anything. How do you know you're going out with her?
44:22🔗
Adam
OK. But, you know, I've learned from this show, and I wish it was something I learned in high school, that sometimes when you ask the woman, they'll tell you a different story. You mowing her lawn is not you two dating. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
45:06🔗
Adam
Oh, OK. Listen, I want to say, Drew, we've talked about this before. How much time have you spent in your life, especially your younger life, high school, college, maybe thinking about making a move?
45:20🔗
Adam
At junior high, spending so much time thinking about making that move and how uncomfortable, how it becomes bigger than it actually is. But here's the reality. How many times you guys actually ever been turned down when you tried to kiss a girl? Do you know what I'm saying? Outside of the family, let's say. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm a very desirable guy, and I haven't been turned out that much. I mean, I've probably been turned down three times out of the 50 times I've tried it. Right. Well, here's my point. They won't turn you down nearly as much as you think they will, especially if you're standing on their porch after a night at the theater.
46:02🔗
Drew
Or if things are really so difficult to sort of overcome some barriers because they're putting that up there.
46:27🔗
You got to go for broke.
46:35🔗
OK.
46:36🔗
Adam
Hello, Flory. Now, first off, we went into Westwood. And for those of you who don't live around here, that was the place you went on a date when you lived around here. You go in there, see a movie.
46:47🔗
Adam
We went to Westwood to see a movie. I borrowed my stepmother's Honda, and that was back. You know, she had like a 77 Honda, so it was about as big as one of the Shriners cars they drive in the parade. Your head hangs out of the sunroof, you know. We went down to Westwood 1, me and Flory.
47:06🔗
Adam
I mean, sorry. Now I'm at Westwood 1. Went down to Westwood, saw for some reason, and maybe it's because everything else was sold out or something, but saw the David Bowie movie, The Man Who Fell From Earth, which is a bizarre movie at any age.
47:22🔗
Adam
It was bizarre. There's a part where a guy's talking to some... a girl's talking to a guy's penis like a microphone. It's a bizarre movie to go on a first date.
47:32🔗
Adam
Step up to the mic. Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. Step up to the mic. Very uncomfortable. So I drove her home after what was probably a horrible date for her, and I went to kiss her in the car, and because my arms stretch out like a condor, and I'm driving this Honda that's about two and a half feet wide, I actually elbow her right in the chops as I try to reach the right arm around me. That set the mood, didn't it? Yeah, good. I mean, if we're playing hockey, I would have been thrown in the penalty box for that moment. So I whack her in the face with my elbow, and there was no second date.
48:12🔗
Adam
That is not going to happen to anyone else who's listening. You kiss her, you're the guy. All right, Bobo and B. Real are both here from Cypress Hill. We'll take a little break. Loveline, Loveline.
48:27🔗
Caller
Hey now, don't get your panties in a bunch. Loveline will be right back on 947NRK, The New Rock Alternative.
49:04🔗
Adam
Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. And Kim Coles is our guest tonight. All the, what is it, five seasons living single?
49:18🔗
Five seasons of living single. Thank you very much. And it's on like, you know, twice a day.
49:24🔗
Syndication.
49:25🔗
Which is lovely to me.
49:27🔗
It's lovely. Those checks come in.
49:28🔗
Adam
Let me explain how syndication works. I won't get into the details and the numbers. Here's what you do. You walk to the mailbox, you open the mailbox, and then you laugh like a hyena as you walk back to your house.
49:48🔗
Adam
You pick color. And then you bitch about giving the poor Korean woman mother of eight, two dollars.
49:56🔗
Adam
What other job do you get to just go to the mailbox? Imagine that everyone. Imagine you got a job where you do your job.
50:05🔗
Adam
You get paid very well for doing that job that day. And then a few years down the road, you just go to the mailbox and, whoa, there's a big chunk.
50:15🔗
Adam
Hey, remember when you remember when you clean the carpet over at the Sizzler in 94? Yeah. Here's five grand. Wow.
50:28🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's great. Thank God they're on strike. They got to get more money. A lot of those actors only, you know, they only make $5,000 a day. Those commercial actors, we got to band together, everyone. Janelle?
50:41🔗
Janelle?
50:44🔗
I'd like to make a case for the waitresses out there.
50:48🔗
Caller
And I'm from the San Francisco Bay Area, and I do work at a very nice restaurant. Yeah. And I don't make over $25,000 a year.
51:00🔗
Drew
But they actually bought me dinner there the other night. It was a great meal, and they...
51:10🔗
Caller
Yeah, it's not as expensive as the one you were talking about, but it's a nice restaurant.
51:22🔗
Adam
Let's say a couple or four people, two couples, go out for dinner, what does it cost then usually?
51:31🔗
Adam
One couple is over $100. Okay, so let me ask you a quick question. I won't dwell on this, but how many tables is a waitress at a nice place like that do you work at once simultaneously?
51:44🔗
Caller
For me, because I have so much overhead, like I have someone who runs my food, I have a busser that takes care of coffees and stuff like that. I also have a hostess who sits with me and a bartender who does my drink separately.
51:55🔗
Adam
Do you pay those people? Yeah, you got to check them out. Yeah, I pay four people. Okay, but answer me. How many tables do you work simultaneously?
52:03🔗
Caller
Because I have that much help, I'm able to handle anywhere from eight to about 13 tables at once.
52:16🔗
Adam
All of them are averaging about $100, let's say, if it's a couple. And so you're getting $20 per table.
52:35🔗
Adam
But the point is, is what do you make in an hour? On a shift, how many hours shift are you working?
52:52🔗
Caller
I report anything that goes on to a credit card because we use a computer system that automatically logs in.
53:03🔗
Adam
But here's my point. All the years I worked as a carpenter, read plans, built houses, dealt with building inspectors, had my tools and trucks and everything, I made 15 an hour. So stop it. You waiters and waitresses act like you have a skill, you have no skill. You slop the hogs for a living.
53:30🔗
Adam
You know, you do. Here's the way waiters and waitresses should work. Your boss should pay you eight or nine bucks an hour, and that should be it.
53:40🔗
Caller
And the tip is included. Unfortunately, we leave it up to humans to go ahead and tip what they think we deserve. And very honestly, if everyone tipped me 10%, I'd walk away with zero dollars out the door because I have to tip out 10%.
54:14🔗
Adam
Would you like some white gravy with your brown gravy, Ms. Coles? Yes, thank you. Just a dollar.
54:19🔗
Adam
Here's an extra dollar. Oh, wait a minute. My nails are dry. Can you blow on those? Please blow on them. That's my tipping hand. Come blow on my tipping hand. Thank you. Now get away.
54:36🔗
Adam
It's warming. It's getting warm. It's getting warm. You better blow on it. Cool it off. Yes. Thank you.
54:58🔗
Drew
It's warts. You really have to see them. And as Adam will tell you, there's a special way to test for the pre-wart lesions.
55:11🔗
Drew
Yeah, you can see them. You have to shine a black light on it after you put the acetic acid over it.
55:17🔗
Caller
And then the other question was regarding THGW. It's supposed to be like a vaccine for it. A company in the UK makes it.
55:44🔗
Drew
It probably by the time you're through your prime, it's you're going to make it through your prime without a vaccine.
55:51🔗
Adam
You'll be married and have three kids by the time they come with the vaccine. Yeah. Aren't they starting to think that warts now? They used to think warts never went away.
56:15🔗
Adam
Never ends with the blacks and the Jews, does it? Never ends. So, yeah, you put this acid, it's like vinegar on your penis and then you shine this black line on it and it winks at you if you have a wart, basically. Drew did that to my Johnson.
56:33🔗
Drew
He was clean. He was a stunt penis. He smoked mirrors out of how he did it, but he put a different penis on it.
56:45🔗
Caller
Hey, Adam. Hey, what's up? I have a question for Dr. Drew. I got the tail end of a call yesterday and I think it was like a 31-year-old male who had arthritis and I think you called it cirrhosis, but...
57:03🔗
Caller
And every once in a while, for a couple of months, when I get really stressed out, I'll get pain in my hands and my feet.
57:25🔗
Caller
Okay. And I had to say, Kim, I enjoyed the show last week. Thank you. It was great. And you should be a regular on this show. You're hilarious.
57:51🔗
Caller
And actually, I have a little proposition for you. I know how you hate to pay taxes. Yes. And I've heard you say once or twice you wish you could have a couple of kids just to funnel that money into.
58:05🔗
Adam
Oh, no. I have said that I would like to just start adopting and sponsoring individual callers' kids. And here's the way I'd like my taxes to be taken care of. I want to see where it's going. I want a stretch of highway, a couple of orphan kids, and like, you know, part of a daycare center or something in the inner city that actually has a plaque with my name in front of it.
58:32🔗
Adam
Yeah, like three grenades and half a tent or something for the army. I want all my little pieces. Yeah, go ahead, Laura.
58:47🔗
Caller
Well, oh, God. Well, I'm thinking for grad school. I am at, I just transferred to a goddamn or excuse me, Washington State, but I was at USC.
59:16🔗
Adam
Well, go with a veterinarian. It seems like the ladies are into that. There's not a woman. I've never met a woman who didn't want to be a veterinarian at some point in her life.
59:28🔗
Caller
Have a goldfish that died. And I think the housekeeper like threw him out or something. Like I put the bowl by the sink to be washed. And the next thing I knew, it was gone. And I forgot about it for like three weeks. I didn't even know it was missing. I couldn't care less about dogs, cats. I've now offended the St. Pakistanis, Koreans, Jews, and Vietnamese and pet lovers. Thank you.
59:54🔗
Adam
Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you on that. OK, so you didn't want to be Venmo. Every other woman I've ever spoken to want to be one. Chad? Yeah? You're 16. What's up? Hold on, what did you want to be? What did I want to be?
1:00:09🔗
Caller
I wanted to be an anthropologist. Oh, really? I did. Like a cultural anthropologist. I would have made no money, but it would have been really interesting.
1:00:18🔗
Adam
You know what's funny? Okay, good. More realistic. You know what's funny is we talked a lot of models and actresses and stuff, and for some reason, it's very important when you make a living as a model, especially, but sometimes as an actor, mainly as a model, that you put something very heady down on your bio about wanting to be that at one time.
1:00:45🔗
Oh, really?
1:00:46🔗
Adam
They wanted to be something very heady and lofty and settled on modeling. And here's the deal. I don't give a rat's ass what you want it to be. I thought I was going to be the first president astronaut when I was five. I turned out clean carpets.
1:01:04🔗
Adam
But the point is, is what I thought I was going to be just makes me an idiot. It makes me brandy. Oh, you know what I mean? I want to be veterinarian. She wanted to be a physicist astronaut.
1:01:13🔗
Caller
That night I wanted to be the first black woman in space. I used to watch. What's that show?
1:01:21🔗
Caller
And I was like, mommy, daddy, can we be the first black family in space? And so I thought, thank you. And I thought, you know, if Uhura can do it, Uhuru.
1:01:42🔗
Caller
I'm just glad to see black people in a spaceship, you know, 3000 years from now. That was, that was promising for us. Yeah, we held on to that. We really did, we regressed since.
1:01:52🔗
Adam
Lost in Space was great because they left that pedophile guy, Dr. Smith, the openly gay pedophile. They always leave him in charge of the kid, you know.
1:02:09🔗
Adam
It's like, what part do you plan? The gay cowardly guy who's stuck on a planet? That's fantastic. He must have a great agent. All right. Christy, where are we going to talk to Christy? You're 18, what's up?
1:02:26🔗
Caller
I need to know why I'm cheating on my boyfriend. And I care for him and he cares for me and we're in love, supposedly, okay? And he's very good to me.
1:02:37🔗
Drew
Well, you don't like that. You like the dangerous, pain in the ass guys. That's what you think of as caring, loving. That's who you are in a relationship with somebody who's connected with somebody who is not actually available to you.
1:04:24🔗
Adam
I see. And why are you hooked up with a guy who's, uh, twenty-seven and living a thousand miles away? Yeah. What's up with that?
1:04:34🔗
Drew
Yeah, you treat him like a good friend. Oh, yeah. You treat him like a great friend, Chrissy.
1:04:42🔗
Adam
Well, anything except for the guys you're banging. Write that down, Drew. That was hard. That was good. That was like out of an air and spell. Anything? I don't think so, Chrissy. What about Dr. Rex Dexler? You're having sex with him.
1:04:58🔗
Adam
Okay, so, uh, listen. The guy's out of state. He's ten years older than you. You're eighteen. You're amorous. You're looking for daddy. Why don't you just forget it? Just break up with the guy.
1:05:19🔗
Drew
Well, it's hard to say. You're at age when sort of experimentation, trying to figure out who you are in a relationship is normal.
1:05:31🔗
Adam
Listen, okay, here's what I'm thinking. As a guy, when you want to commit yourself to a relationship, let's say you're equivalent to a Christy, your guy, and you're saying, I got a girl, I love her very much, I've been unfaithful, I'd like to not do that anymore. Here's all you have to do.
1:05:51🔗
Adam
Stop sending drinks over, stop cruising, stop doing it, stop working. Now, as an attractive 18-year-old girl, it's like being in a rock band, being out on tour and trying not to do any more coke. What I mean is, you're right in the thick of things. It ain't going to work, Drew. That's not going to work, right?
1:06:15🔗
Adam
Right. Meanwhile, this guy's 27, he has a long-distance relationship with an 18-year-old. I don't trust him and God knows what he's up to in Louisiana.
1:06:32🔗
Drew
Oh, she's having her period. Don't worry about it. They call it PMDD now, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.
1:06:40🔗
Okay.
1:06:41🔗
Mood problems.
1:06:43🔗
Drew
You have to change the name of it. Medical nomenclature, you got to change the names every five years.
1:06:47🔗
Caller
Black people change it. We're colored, we're Negro, we're Blacks, we're African American. I'm confused.
1:06:52🔗
Adam
Right. Here's the point. The reason, I'm not sure about the Blacks, but I do know about the medical. The Blacks, the Blacks. The Negroes. The reason in medicine they change it is because once everyone starts catching on with the lingo, then it's like, hey, anyone could do this job, so we got to step up again and confuse people.
1:07:12🔗
Drew
It's the new guys coming in who need to sort of set themselves apart from the old guard.
1:07:19🔗
Adam
Give us some of the ways you've heard basic words pronounced. It always drives me insane.
1:07:36🔗
Adam
To me, it's Demi Moore and Demi Moore. For a million years, it was always the Cannes Film Festival. It's now the Cannes Film Festival. And I think there's a couple other ones out there in Hollywood. You say tomato.
1:08:12🔗
Caller
Me and my girlfriend, we were about to have sex a while ago, a few days ago, and we tried for about 20 minutes, and I couldn't fit in her.
1:08:25🔗
Drew
Is there an anatomic difference between the two of you, or is it that she was so uptight that she was tight?
1:08:47🔗
Drew
When women are very anxious, nervous, they clamp down and you don't get in, and that's her body telling you she's not ready to have you in.
1:09:02🔗
Drew
Yeah, I know that he wants to... This is where men become their most sort of concrete, most deliberate and...
1:09:08🔗
Adam
Well, it's the only time they really care about the vagina. I see. How can we rectify this for them?
1:09:17🔗
Drew
It's like they're talking about hanging a door, though. There's no person attached to it. Just, let's fix this thing.
1:09:33🔗
Are you Hot Daddy?
1:09:47🔗
From Moesha.
1:09:56🔗
Caller
I said Hot Pink Vagina. What is it? Healthy Pink Vagina. Are you Hot Daddy? But I'm not fat. That's hysterical.
1:10:27🔗
Adam
That's right. A ether rag and some duct tape, some Quaaludes and some Rofies. No, just... Chad, you got to just take it real slow. She got to be relaxed. All right. You understand? All right. It's really funny. Be good to her, Chad. My cat analogy.
1:11:02🔗
Caller
I've been dating my current girlfriend for about eight months. And so far, I haven't been able to get her to orgasm once. And I've talked to her about it, and I don't think she's ever even been able to make herself orgasm. So she's...
1:11:22🔗
Caller
So she's 22, and I think she's getting to an age old enough to where she should be able to orgasm.
1:11:43🔗
Adam
Your labia. I mean, that was my... When I was doing Mornings in Tucson on AM, Dusty... Dusty Labia.
1:12:14🔗
Caller
Don't touch that dial. Love Line will be right back with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew right here on 94.7 NRK, The New Rock Alternatives.
1:12:45🔗
Adam
I'm glad you want to know if I wake up at 3 in the afternoon. And then what I do is I get down, I get nude and I hit the yard.
1:12:53🔗
Exactly, that's what I, I figured you have the life.
1:13:05🔗
She secretly digs it, I'm sure.
1:13:08🔗
She is the coolest chick on earth.
1:13:11🔗
Adam
Yeah, she really is. She really is great. We talk through the fence and we always make some plans about getting together. But it never happens.
1:13:20🔗
That's the great thing, because she keeps the link alive and makes sure that it's impossible to actually follow through on.
1:13:26🔗
Adam
One of these days, I'm going to get drunk and get my pellet gun out and do some serious damage. Some serious damage to the cryer household.
1:13:33🔗
Just steer clear of the woodwork, OK? The mahogany is tough to replace.
1:13:37🔗
Adam
That is beautiful. John lives in a beautiful home up there, Drew. Beautiful mahogany woodwork.
1:13:44🔗
Adam
Not like that 80s trash you live in. This is real. This ain't the Purgot family hut that you're in over there. This is real old time craftsmanship. You understand that, Drew?
1:14:00🔗
Adam
John Cryer, Larry Joe Campbell and Pageant Bruce are all here from The Trouble With Normal. That is Friday nights, 830 on ABC, part of the new line up with the Finnegan men and the norm of the Brennigan trio. What the hell? Two guys and a girl. Two guys, a girl, which is I like to call it the little show that could because nobody put a lot of stock in that show 14 years ago when it hit the air. I was on that damn show. I guest starred on that show. Really? Yeah.
1:14:37🔗
Adam
Yeah, I was. I played myself and I wasn't convincing, but I was all over the show. Remember that, Drew?
1:14:46🔗
Adam
All right. And Norm, which is a show I like, not because a great show. I just love Norm MacDonald. I really do. And not as a human being. He's a horrible alcoholic gambler. But, well, he didn't make that. But he's funny. I like the guy.
1:15:11🔗
Adam
All right. You don't have your screen up there and drive me insane. Sam, you're 18. What's up?
1:15:27🔗
Caller
I don't even think about it more. And the worst thing is I'm not having sex or hand jobs, blow jobs, anything.
1:15:36🔗
Caller
You just may not have the most pronounced sex drive. That's, you know, I mean, I don't know, Dr. Drew, is there is there a an area that you have to hit, you know, your belly, I think. I was just going to say statistically, is there an area you have to hit in order to be a normal human?
1:15:57🔗
Drew
I'm not sure that, I mean, I'm not, I don't know, that number must be out there, but it's not something that's sort of usually discussed.
1:16:05🔗
Adam
If ever there was a place for an 18 year old once a day. Come on. Yeah. You're, you're, I'm scared. Or do you have a tumor?
1:16:25🔗
Adam
You would have been thrown right out of our club and we would have demanded our jacket back. You're no longer one of the Jackers.
1:16:35🔗
Adam
That's right. That's right. Rip the stripes right off the lapel. Slap you across the face with the gym sock and it's back to your house.
1:16:46🔗
Drew
Yeah. Do you want any medication? No, I'm not. Do you have any medical problems? No. Normal puberty, puberty cannot, normal time, that kind of thing? Yeah. Your normal height and weight? Yeah.
1:17:02🔗
Drew
It really depends on the context, whether or not, whether or not it's something medically relevant.
1:17:06🔗
Caller
I mean, it might actually keep you from doing a lot of stupid crap, because let me tell you, needing to do it often at that age made me do some stupid stuff.
1:17:15🔗
Drew
Oh, and that Jacker group that Adam hung around with, it became insane. They started, they literally started doing crap.
1:17:21🔗
Adam
That's right. We were crazed. We robbed a sperm bank. We turned to crime. We need to be an insatiable appetite for sperm. You know, it's no different than any drug. That's why they got to legalize it. That's how the mob took over.
1:17:58🔗
Adam
I try to make it from the den up the stairs in the nude. I wonder if John is anywhere to be found. All right, where the hell? Chris?
1:18:14🔗
Caller
I have a friend who is being physically abused by her ex-boyfriend, and she won't press charges or do anything about it. So I want to know if there's anything I can do or anybody I can contact or anything that I can do to help her.
1:18:28🔗
Caller
Well, he's trying to get her back, and she's not doing a very good job of ignoring him, so she lets her in his house, she rides home from school from him, stuff like that. So when he gets her alone, he knocks her down, he grabs her, put bruises on her arms, stuff like that. So she's got bruises on her arms and neck and rib cage and stuff.
1:18:56🔗
Caller
I don't know, but this guy has pushed her down in front of the dad, and the dad doesn't do anything.
1:19:03🔗
Caller
Also the girl must be dealing with something like that, because she wouldn't put up with it if it hadn't been reinforced somehow.
1:19:16🔗
Drew
I would suggest you call the police and ask for their help, because domestic violence in California is a huge issue. And actually, theoretically, if you know something like this going on, you have an obligation to report it.
1:19:30🔗
Adam
All right, but hold on a second. Can you... Here's my feeling about everyone calling the police for everything. That means less police for me who needs the police every once in a while and who pays more taxes than all you slackers. So stop calling the cops for everyone all the time. It drives me nuts. Cats in the tree, call the cops. The refrigerator, it looks like it's leaking. There's some kind of fluid coming out. Get 911. Let's get the cops up here. All this domestic stuff. Get out of harm's way. You tell her, Chris, to get away from this guy.
1:20:05🔗
Adam
Well, then see if she can go find a... Can you get her steered toward therapy? Because this is going to continue.
1:20:17🔗
Adam
Of course. So as a friend, why don't you try to steer toward some therapy or something like that?
1:20:24🔗
Caller
Is there any hotline or anything I can call to get a referral for a relationship addiction support group sort of thing?
1:20:35🔗
Caller
I'm looking for a support group for people who can't deal with themselves when they're not in a relationship.
1:20:50🔗
Caller
Well, father was an alcoholic, but sober when I was probably one and has been perfect ever since.
1:20:56🔗
Drew
I would just say you start with Al-Anon, because that really helps heal that part that causes that sort of intense need for a relationship to fix you.
1:21:18🔗
Adam
It's sort of like those gang initiations when all the guys sort of pounce on the other guy. But it's got a little twist at the end. I can't mention the bylaws that don't permit me for mentioning it over the air.
1:21:30🔗
Drew
But it's called a twist. You know, what's your name, caller? Chris. Chris. There's also 11 sex addicts anonymous. OK, and that is another way of going. Again, it's a very cost effective. It's free. And if you get a sponsor and work at the step, it tends to heal some of this stuff very nicely.
1:21:51🔗
Adam
Hey, Chris, listen, grab yourself, get yourself some help and, you know, do what you can for your friend. But if she ain't going for it, she ain't going for it. And you part of your work is steering yourself away from helping her.
1:22:05🔗
Adam
It's good enough. Yeah, please. I mean, Jesus Christ, we're going to go over there, Todd. Yeah, you're 19.
1:22:15🔗
Caller
Here's what's going on. Before I even get started. Hello, Adam, Drew and to your guests.
1:22:27🔗
Adam
Oh, you know, my theory of yeah, no, no man named Todd over the age of 40. So you're all because there's no grandpa, old man Todd. There's no old miner. Would you shut up? Shut up. Idiot. Jesus, people act like I don't have a button that can just cut them off. The best part of this job. Chelsea. Chelsea. Caller goes by the name of Chelsea or 14.
1:22:56🔗
Caller
But before I lost my virginity, I've like I've seen like a blister looking bump on me, like down by my vagina and everything.
1:23:12🔗
Adam
Yeah. And do me a favor. Grab a scratch pad there and write everyone's name and age down.
1:23:17🔗
Drew
You know what? You go. You say it so quickly. The other people talking sometimes want me to hear.
1:23:22🔗
Drew
I've got I've actually got in front of me. So you are sexually active now? And listen, if you're sexually active, you need to go have a pelvic exam, right? Right.
1:23:39🔗
Drew
Your doc needs you're at risk for cervical cancers and different diseases because you're sexually active. So it really becomes important now that you begin having regular gynecologic examinations. No, I think the probability of this being herpes is very remote because it's the same thing you had before you started having sex.
1:23:58🔗
Drew
Just like a Bartholin cyst or sebaceous cyst, something like that. She doesn't know what herpes looks like. But it should hopefully motivate you to go in and get your regular pap smears because you need to get contraception and you get checked regularly if you're sexually active.
1:24:27🔗
Adam
OK. No, the combined age of the last two guys. 106. OK. Listen, hey, Chelsea. And I'm going to give this message not only out to you, but everyone who calls this goddamn show. I know you think of yourself as some sort of riddle that we want to get to the bottom of. Here's the point. We don't care. I'll hang up on your ass. Start answering questions or we hang up.
1:25:13🔗
Adam
But it was a week before his 31st birthday, which is which is different because he's hopping. And what about the last guy?
1:25:35🔗
Adam
That's right. Anyway, you got to weed and seed something. You got to prune. I don't know what you do. You know, I sure pruning is once in a while someone comes over and explains what I'm supposed to do with my rose bush.
1:25:50🔗
Adam
No, I know. I know you're using that as a euphemism for the vagina. Yes, I appreciate. But I'm actually talking about my hedges. And I go, well, what you got to do is, you know, next time it rains, you got to go out at four in the morning and bring, now don't use, don't use the, use tweezers. And it's called cross-pollination. I'm going to say, okay, listen, I'm going to go inside and smoke pie. Whatever goes on, goes on out here. Let God do the work. All right, we will take ourselves a little break. The Trouble with Normal is the name of the show. We have most of the cast here tonight. Dr. Drew is in San Francisco doing a mediocre job. And we'll be back after this.
1:26:36🔗
Caller
I can't do this on cue. Love Line, NRK, 94.7 NRK, the new rock alternative, was that it?
1:27:06🔗
Adam
Yeah, loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew in San Francisco, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. John, Larry, and Padgett are all here from The Trouble with Normal, ABC, 8.30, Friday nights, right after?
1:27:44🔗
Caller
Yeah, it was cool. I was on The View and Barbara, actually Barbara Walters grabbed my hand and said, you're going to make people watch my show, right? Because we were sort of a lead in. And I just felt it was great feeling the cold, clammy hand of Barbara Walters. It was actually very nice, very, very nice.
1:28:44🔗
Caller
No, everybody said, oh, she's really dumb. She's really dumb. And I didn't think I didn't think so, first of all.
1:28:49🔗
Adam
Well, she had the good sense to be attracted to me, number one. So how dumb? Listen, aren't they looking for a balance? I mean, they want some sort of they wanted a sort of representation of the general populace. And let me tell you, there's plenty of stupid women out there. So shouldn't you have at least one represented on your show? Don't you need one you can make fun of? See, that's the problem.
1:29:15🔗
Adam
And here's the thing about guys, if there's a there's a doofus guy, he's known as doofus, you know, and made fun of. Where's where's women just quietly fire them?
1:29:28🔗
Adam
It is true. Hey, doofus, come here. Let me use you. Like, open this beer bottle with your mouth, doofus. And quit Bogart and the Cheez-Its. I work at the Cheez-It factory. Still? Because I did work there, but I got fired for stealing too many Cheez-Its and yelling about working, being the king of the Cheez-It.
1:30:03🔗
Caller
My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. And after about three months, we started having sex and we lost our virginity to each other. And in the beginning, we had sex a lot of time, all time and stuff. But now it's like he doesn't want to do it anymore, even though he likes it. How often? Well, we felt once a week.
1:30:42🔗
Caller
Well, you see, because I used to initiate it and he didn't like that because he thought I was like a bit too forward on that. So I said, OK, fine, you have to initiate it. And he's like, OK, whatever. That's when it just like stopped.
1:31:05🔗
Adam
All right. Now, that was good for first try. But let's try the initiation again and this time have fun with it. All right. So it didn't work when you cued him to initiate.
1:31:21🔗
Adam
Sometimes you hit the person with a wicker stick and yell at them to initiate. I tend to help. That tends to help. All right. Jackie, maybe he's checking out. Maybe he's not so interested in the relationship.
1:31:33🔗
Caller
I don't know. I don't know. Like about two weeks or so before, like our six month anniversary, we got in a real big fight and we almost broke up, but we ended up getting closer at the time. And then it was just kind of like we got closer and then he left for school and it was just bad.
1:31:48🔗
Adam
Okay, hey Drew, chime in here. Here's the deal. When you get in a relationship at 18 or 17 and a half, you have this feeling like it's supposed to go on forever. But when it starts hitting bumps about six months, and they end up stretching out another year, but really they should just sort of see the signs in the road. He's going off, he's not initiating.
1:32:09🔗
Drew
Yeah, you don't know how to end a relationship at 18. You don't know what the signs are, the relationship is over, you share a fantasy that's going to last forever. And if five years from now you wouldn't let this relationship last eight weeks.
1:32:20🔗
Caller
Yeah, that big fight you had the other night should have ended with one of you saying, I don't think this is working anymore. But it didn't, and consequently it's still sort of up in the air.
1:32:31🔗
Adam
But it is true, and it's weird. I mean, remember when you graduated high school, you made all these announcements that you'd be back every month to visit all the teachers. When homecoming rolls around again, you're going to be up there in the stands, waving your banner and everything. And it's like, that was 16 years ago or something, or 20 years ago, forget it. You think in a nostalgic way, like a pre-emptive nostalgia, when you're 17, 18 years old, you're going to keep in touch with everyone.
1:33:11🔗
Adam
Well, I'll never forget you. Yeah, it's everything's St. Elmo's fire. Right. It's basically, you're 19. There's Hans Zimmer banging away in the background.
1:33:25🔗
Caller
The point is, it was Parr. It was Michael Parr. Thank you very much. Who wants to be a millionaire? I'm winning.
1:33:55🔗
Caller
I didn't have my period for a year. So I went to the doctor and got some blood tests, and my hormones were all weird. My estrogen level was really low, but my pituitary was like normal.
1:34:10🔗
Caller
See, he said that I have something, because I got an MRI done on my head, and I have something on my pituitary.
1:34:21🔗
Drew
Those are called microadenomas, and they're usually prolactin secreting. But you haven't been lactating or anything like that?
1:34:36🔗
Adam
Well, wait a minute. Is there something that's going on inside of her skull that's creating this?
1:34:40🔗
Drew
Yeah, she's got a little growth in the pituitary, and sometimes these can be controlled with medication.
1:34:50🔗
Drew
It's a common medical problem. It's uncommon in the real world. But I would suggest you see an endocrinologist, and there are those that specialize particularly in pituitary disorders. There's a medicine called bromocryptine. If this is a prolactin secreting tumor, that sometimes when you take, they shrink right down very nicely.
1:35:17🔗
Caller
Well, no, I'm just saying, because he was talking so fast. You know, seriously, no, dude, you were talking really fast. You were talking about it. And then the gland will excrete this, but it's prolactin and give the girl a chance. She's got to find an endocrinologist for crying out loud. Write it down, woman, write it down.
1:35:38🔗
Drew
They used to actually go after these and surgically remove them. They're less likely to do that. All right.
1:35:50🔗
Caller
Well, can it cause problems with having kids later on because they put me on the pill and so I have my period, but...
1:35:55🔗
Drew
Yeah. They should be able to... No, no, you should be able to have restored fertility.
1:36:12🔗
Drew
Those are lymph glands. The endocrine system is not the lymphatic system. That's very different.
1:36:19🔗
Drew
No, it's right in the middle of your head, right in the middle, like behind your nose kind of.
1:36:31🔗
Adam
And a drill. I don't want to give away too much. We're part of the initiation of the Jackers. It has to do with the endocrine gland. It really does. All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be right back.
1:36:51🔗
Caller
This evening, Loveline is brought to you by Car Toys and the Cobalt Lounge, right here on 947NRK, the New Rock Alternative.
1:37:27🔗
Adam
All right, there you go, that is it. Another fantastic show in the can. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo. Where was that cello made? Oh, it was made in Duchenna. Well, now.