Monday, December 11, 2000

1:08🔗 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13🔗 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Your phone number is 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 3108-54-44-55, Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest is no one, but that's all right.

1:30🔗 Drew And I know what my priorities are. I don't miss any nights broadcasting during the fall book. I always make sure if I'm going to be out, I'm at least broadcast back from wherever I am.

1:39🔗 Adam What are you saying?

1:41🔗 Drew Just saying.

1:41🔗 Adam What are you getting at?

1:42🔗 Drew Just get it tomorrow night.

1:44🔗 Adam Tomorrow night, I'm going to be here, Jackal.

1:45🔗 Drew Good, good. You sound like you're trying to weasel out of it.

1:48🔗 Adam I just got done telling you I'm going to Vegas for the day.

1:52🔗 Drew Right.

1:52🔗 Adam And I'm coming back to LAX at 830 tomorrow night.

1:55🔗 Drew That was your run best of.

1:57🔗 Adam No, no.

1:58🔗 Drew Is that what you said?

1:58🔗 Adam No, I got to record the best of.

2:00🔗 Drew Tonight.

2:01🔗 Adam For the vacation. Got it. All right. Nice try. All right. I need to be credited in a hole point for that one.

2:08🔗 Drew One a hole point.

2:08🔗 Adam Thank you very much. All right. Anderson, you got that? Yeah.

2:13🔗 Drew Yeah.

2:13🔗 Adam When were you going to let me know this?

2:14🔗 Drew Because that's not going to work.

2:15🔗 Adam Yeah. I just thought of it now.

2:17🔗 Drew I'm happy a hole point.

2:18🔗 Adam I'll let you know tomorrow night.

2:19🔗 You know, I was trying to talk to you about it last night, but you couldn't take your eyes off those goddamn playboys.

2:23🔗 Adam Yeah. We got some old playboys in here and it wasn't the women.

2:26🔗 Drew It was not.

2:27🔗 Adam It was a car in the Hager slacks ads that drew me in. All right. Big countdown to Minka Wednesday. The number one Asian big boob queen Minka will be in here.

2:37🔗 Drew Why don't you give her an understanding of who Minka is, people who have never heard of her. Well, it's hard to understand that people may not have heard of her. I never heard of her until you introduced me to her.

2:46🔗 Adam I got to tell you, I was a little surprised that so many people haven't heard of her. She's the number one Asian big boob queen. She does some videos and some modeling and she's on the web somewhere. I don't know. Anderson, whenever you get those Minka pictures, where do you find them? Do you go to like minka.com or how do you figure that out?

3:05🔗 It's like minka big boob queen.com.

3:08🔗 No.

3:09🔗 Drew Just go to a search engine, put in keywords minka and boobs.

3:12🔗 Adam Yeah. It's M-I-N-K-A, I believe. And you will see what all the noise is about. I ran into her at a strip club in Vegas some months back. She put her knee in my groin. Now, to be fair to her, she didn't knee me in the groin. She crowned her knee into my groin.

3:32🔗 Drew I'm just thinking she doesn't speak English very well. Maybe the whole translation of lap dance got screwed up in her thinking.

3:37🔗 Adam Right. She thought it was rap dance. She thought she was dancing like a rapper.

3:42🔗 Yeah.

3:45🔗 Adam All right. Well, the point is she's gonna be in here and she does not disappoint. She's a tough woman with cans to match. So we'll look forward to that. Oh, and Mark McGrath is gonna be in here from Sugar Ray Tomorrow Night 2. Good guy, always good to talk to him and he ain't afraid of the microphone.

4:02🔗 Drew No.

4:03🔗 Adam So we'll talk to him tomorrow night. Ready to hop on the phones here, Drew?

4:06🔗 Drew Yeah.

4:08🔗 Yeah.

4:08🔗 Adam You're 21.

4:09🔗 Caller Yes. I love your show.

4:11🔗 Adam Thank you.

4:12🔗 Caller You rock.

4:13🔗 Thanks.

4:14🔗 Drew And that's it?

4:15🔗 Adam Yep. She ran out of steam after a run out.

4:18🔗 No, no.

4:18🔗 Caller I love you. And my question is, can we tell you now?

4:22🔗 Adam Yeah. Let's have a little more small talk first.

4:26🔗 Okay.

4:26🔗 Caller I can do that. No.

4:27🔗 Adam Yeah. How's about you?

4:29🔗 Caller Really? Y'all. I don't want to hear it.

4:31🔗 Adam Great.

4:31🔗 Drew Oh, whoa, whoa. What's the matter?

4:33🔗 Caller No, nothing. I just have this question. It's like overwhelming.

4:37🔗 Adam I see. Well, let's get to it.

4:38🔗 Caller Okay. I want to know why does my boyfriend like anal sex so much and what is he getting out of it? And question number two is what can I do to where it doesn't hurt so bad?

4:53🔗 Adam Okay. I'm going to answer that in three phases. Okay.

4:59🔗 Drew Start with easy.

4:59🔗 Adam Humiliation for you, poop on his Johnson and coke on the rectum.

5:05🔗 Drew Those are the three answers.

5:06🔗 Adam In order, yes. Why does he like it so much? What does he get out of it and how do I use the pain?

5:13🔗 Drew Yeah, we do think that there is some sort of power issue in people that get into this stuff. It's an aggressive act and I don't know. It troubles me a little bit that men get so into this and particularly one that it's not for this guy just about checking it off the list. He's into it. It's a way of life for him.

5:30🔗 Adam And if you were really into it too.

5:33🔗 Drew Yeah, that would be different.

5:35🔗 Adam No, it would be different but I wonder if he would cool off a little bit.

5:38🔗 Drew Yeah, he probably wouldn't be into it.

5:39🔗 Adam I wonder if part of him being into it is you not being into it and a little bit of a challenge. It's a way, hold on a second. It's a way to reestablish a challenge within a relationship. I was talking about men wanting to challenge, hunt and prey, that kind of thing. When they land a woman, the challenge is over. But here's a challenge within the relationship. Now, your anus becomes the prey, and his penis becomes the spear of the hunter.

6:06🔗 Yeah.

6:07🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, someone should follow me around the tape recorder. You realize what an idiot I am. Do you know what I mean? Think about the guys who really, and most guys have this, especially younger guy, it's the thrill of the hunt. This is the hunt within the relationship.

6:22🔗 Drew But you're describing objectification and aggression again.

6:25🔗 Yeah. Well, all right.

6:25🔗 Adam That's a guy's nature.

6:27🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, certain guys, but it becomes less about her as a person and more about this sort of conquest and power. And then in terms of the discomfort, for some people, it's overwhelmingly painful. And that's that.

6:38🔗 Adam How often do you give this up?

6:40🔗 Caller Only when I'm really drunk.

6:42🔗 Adam I see. So about three times a week?

6:45🔗 Caller No.

6:45🔗 No.

6:47🔗 Adam I see. And what is the discomfort? Where's the pain? Could you be more specific?

6:54🔗 Well, my whole ass.

6:55🔗 Adam I mean, your whole ass hurts.

6:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:57🔗 Adam The outside as well as the inside.

6:59🔗 Caller Yeah. It's more an internal thing. I'm thinking.

7:01🔗 Adam I see. Yeah. It's as if someone's put one of those.

7:05🔗 Drew So put a penis in her ass.

7:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:07🔗 Drew Yeah.

7:09🔗 Yeah. Kind of like that.

7:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:10🔗 Adam It's bad times.

7:11🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

7:12🔗 Adam All right. Hey, Shelly.

7:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:14🔗 Adam Here's what you're going to have to do. If it's something you don't want to do, you're going to have to really explain that to him.

7:19🔗 Caller Okay.

7:19🔗 Adam And if he keeps going, you're going to have to start cutting him off other things.

7:23🔗 Caller Yeah. Maybe he could like give up that in exchange for something else that I could deal with more.

7:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

7:29🔗 Caller Yeah. Okay.

7:30🔗 Drew No, no, no, no. See, she's got it backwards.

7:32🔗 Adam No, he could, he, he gives up the anal sex and if he doesn't give it up, then he loses other things. In return, he doesn't have to go with her to the mall or something like that on Sunday to go Christmas shopping.

7:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:45🔗 Adam Yeah. You get on the ass barter system.

7:47🔗 Drew Get him into like paintball, you know, the, the paintball.

7:51🔗 Adam Well, you do what I used to do with my old girlfriends, which is every time I did a good deed, I got a brown star that would go on the refrigerator.

7:59🔗 Drew How many stars made it?

8:00🔗 Adam Ten brown stars meant corn hola. So take out the garbage, brown star. But that's just one. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Behave myself at the sister's wedding, don't get drunk and say anything rude. Another brown star. Come home with some flowers just because that might earn you a brown star. Five brown stars is a rim job.

8:22🔗 Drew Nice.

8:23🔗 Adam You work on the brown star system. You get those magnetic brown stars and you stick them to the fridge. There we go. Lucy?

8:31🔗 Hey, what's up?

8:31🔗 Adam You're 20. What's up?

8:33🔗 Caller Well, I have two questions. The first one is a BS question. I have this old publicity photo and I've always wondered why you're not wearing shoes in it.

8:42🔗 Adam Why I'm not wearing shoes?

8:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

8:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know.

8:45🔗 Drew Actually, I remember.

8:46🔗 Adam You do?

8:47🔗 Drew Yeah. Somebody said, hey, take your shoes off. That's ridiculous.

8:50🔗 Adam I did?

8:50🔗 Drew They went, hey, take them off.

8:52🔗 Adam This was over K-Rock, right?

8:54🔗 Caller Yeah, it's an old one. It's like 90s.

8:55🔗 Drew Actually, if I remember right, they originally wanted you to wear a dress or something. It was bizarre. We were going, no, just take a picture. Remember our usual instinct, which is just take the picture. No, no, no.

9:06🔗 Adam All right, so I took my shoes off.

9:09🔗 Caller I've just always wondered.

9:10🔗 Drew Yeah, it was not a good idea.

9:11🔗 Caller And this is my second question. I have this friend and she's like 19 and she keeps telling us that she's having sex with all these guys and then we find out from the guys that she's not and we're concerned about her because she's had like, she's been depressed and she's been talking about suicide and everything. I'm like, I want to confront her, but like she's kind of more of like a drinking buddy because she's not like really very emotional. She's like kind of cold. And like, I want to confront her and be like, is there a problem? Is there a reason why you're lying?

9:36🔗 Drew Like is it possible that she is sleeping with the, she's not somebody that these guys would sort of own up to?

9:42🔗 Caller Well, no, she's hot.

9:43🔗 Adam No, really?

9:44🔗 Caller But yeah. And like, and one of the guys is actually like a really good friend of mine and he's like all sensitive and emo and emo, emotional.

9:52🔗 Adam I see emo. I thought about that comedian who was married to Judah Tanuta. Hold on a second. If there was a chick that was hot and somebody, her friend came up to me and said, Sharon says she's sleeping with you. Is that true? You'd hear that compressor sound fire up in my brain. Yeah, that's the sound. You'd hear fire up. Huh?

10:13🔗 What?

10:15🔗 Adam When did she say this? Uh-huh. Where is she now?

10:19🔗 Drew Yeah.

10:20🔗 Adam Right.

10:21🔗 Drew OK.

10:22🔗 Adam I'm going over there to make her make her into not a liar. I'm going to get the truth out of her. Jesus Christ. Listen, she's a drinking buddy. Hey, Lucy, don't confront her. Don't hang out with her. Leave her alone.

10:35🔗 Caller I want to be closer friends with.

10:36🔗 Adam Why? Why? Why isn't she sleeping with these guys? And what do these guys have to say?

10:40🔗 Caller Well, see, the guy that I talked to says that she's really cold and like he'd try to like they dated for like a month and he'd try to like hug her and she'd be like, no, no, you know.

10:49🔗 Adam How much do you like her? Why are you investing so much in her?

10:52🔗 Caller I don't know. I want her to be my friend.

10:53🔗 Adam Well, you do.

10:54🔗 Drew Why don't you get a little more emo with her and see if you can get it open up a little bit?

10:57🔗 Caller Would that involve liquor?

10:59🔗 Adam Yes. You must lick her.

11:01🔗 Caller I must lick her up?

11:02🔗 Adam Yes.

11:02🔗 Caller Okay.

11:03🔗 Adam And down. All right, Lucy, go out. You guys have some wine coolers and really get into it. But don't be surprised when she starts crying and telling you about her uncle coming into the room when she was four.

11:14🔗 Yeah.

11:15🔗 Adam All right. Yeah. Look forward to that.

11:17🔗 Okay.

11:17🔗 Adam Well, that's what I figured that, you know, you know, the show, the show, I'm so gun shy because of the show. I figure everyone was molested and just waiting to tell me about it. So, you know, if I'm sitting next to some guy on a plane, it's like, yeah, I'm having a rough day. Yeah, that's good.

11:31🔗 That's enough.

11:32🔗 Adam Yeah. What am I, a therapist? I was going to say my briefcase popped open. I was running through the, that's good. That's funny. I need to hear about some camp council, did you? I'm just so scared that everyone's going to tell me they've been molested. I don't want to hear anymore. Just plug my ears and start singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. Chris?

11:54🔗 Yeah.

11:54🔗 Adam You're 19.

11:56🔗 Yeah. Like you said, Dr. Drew, I saw him in Durango, Colorado about, well, probably about two months ago.

12:01🔗 Drew Yeah.

12:02🔗 Adam Yes.

12:02🔗 Drew Beautiful over there.

12:03🔗 Yeah, it is. I'm calling from Farmington, New Mexico, Drew.

12:06🔗 Drew You're gay.

12:08🔗 Adam Beautiful country over there in Farmington.

12:10🔗 Oh, that's right.

12:12🔗 Drew No, it actually, Farmington served that that radio signal served of Colorado and a whole big, huge area. That's a beautiful country out there. Really.

12:20🔗 Adam Listen, I don't like old Mexico, so that's why I'm not going to take my chances with New Mexico. Seems like a mistake. It's like New Coke to me, New Mexico.

12:30🔗 Drew I had to take, the next morning at like 5 o'clock in that sleet, I had to take a 12-seated plane out of there to Denver.

12:36🔗 Adam Oh, really?

12:37🔗 Drew That was nice.

12:38🔗 Caller Oh, wow.

12:40🔗 I guess it's not syndicated through here anymore, so we don't have the show. I just call in.

12:45🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

12:45🔗 Well, good times.

12:48🔗 My question is, for both of you, is, you know, I'm wondering if this is a problem, if I'm the only one in the world with this and whatever in that...

12:56🔗 Drew Whatever it is, you're not the only one in the world with it.

12:58🔗 No. I'm real skinny and I wear long sleeves all the time. It might be even 90 degrees out in the sun and I still wear long sleeves. Is there something wrong here? I mean, have you heard of this before?

13:10🔗 I mean...

13:12🔗 Adam Yeah, who cares?

13:13🔗 Drew I guess that's my answer. No, no. You mean you're afraid to show your arms?

13:17🔗 To reveal that? Yeah. Well, not just my arms or my body. I mean...

13:19🔗 Adam You got track marks on them?

13:21🔗 No, not at all.

13:22🔗 Drew Because you're so thin?

13:23🔗 Thin, yeah.

13:24🔗 Drew Well, people have all sorts of funny feelings about their body and hide themselves in clothing in various ways. That's not abnormal at all. I mean, it's unfortunate and maybe you could do things to build yourself up in a way that you find more appealing. But even that, it makes me wonder how you feel about yourself in general. If otherwise your esteem is okay and whatnot.

13:46🔗 Adam Well, listen, here's the bottom line. We all, 90% of the population could go one way or the other depending on what they're wearing. I mean, there's stuff that's flattering, stuff that looks good on you, and then there's stuff that makes you look like hell.

13:57🔗 Drew Yeah, he's a little obsessed. Nobody can see my arms.

14:00🔗 Adam All right.

14:00🔗 Drew But you know, God knows somebody made fun of him when he was 14.

14:03🔗 Adam All right. So get yourself a nice long-sleeve shirt. Keep the sun off you. That's fine. Get yourself one of those parasols too. That wasn't his question, Lisa, as it reads up on the screen.

14:14🔗 Drew You want to ask him again?

14:15🔗 Adam No. Jonathan?

14:18🔗 What's up, Adam?

14:19🔗 Adam You're 18. You smoking a lot of weed?

14:21🔗 Caller No.

14:21🔗 Drew No, just asleep.

14:22🔗 Adam Oh, really?

14:23🔗 Caller Yeah, it's late here. I'm in Maryland. It's one o'clock. I'm calling in.

14:28🔗 Adam I see. All right.

14:29🔗 Caller Yeah. I just want to tell you all are doing a great thing.

14:32🔗 Adam Thank you.

14:33🔗 Caller But my question is, I went over to my girlfriend's house and we've been dating for four months. We were friends before that, good friends for about two months. And I knew that her brother was gay. He's 17, she's 19. She's actually a year older than me. My cousin introduced us because my cousin's girlfriend was friends with her anyway. Yeah. She was...

15:02🔗 Adam Write that down, Drew.

15:03🔗 Drew Cousin's girlfriend.

15:05🔗 Caller She was going to come over here for the weekend. She usually comes over here like every other weekend if nothing's going on.

15:12🔗 Drew Every weekend or every other weekend?

15:13🔗 Caller Every other weekend.

15:14🔗 Adam Let's write that down.

15:15🔗 Drew Every other weekend, go over there.

15:17🔗 Caller Anyway, she went in the room to take a shower, pack and whatever to her clothes so she could come over. And I always knew her brother was gay. He kind of... He started talking with me and he said something like, my sister, she's lucky to have a guy like you or whatever. And I said, I'm lucky to have a girl like her.

15:37🔗 Adam Right, right that way.

15:38🔗 Caller And he said that I was sweet or whatever. And he came over and he was on the recliner. He came over. He sat down on the couch.

15:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

15:48🔗 Caller He moved a little bit closer and he kind of... He put his hand on my leg. And at that point, I got up and I told him that I wasn't gay. And I never thought of him like that. And even if he were a girl, I still wouldn't do anything with him because...

16:06🔗 Adam Well, now with that goatee...

16:08🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm in love with his sister and...

16:11🔗 Adam Right.

16:11🔗 Drew So what's your question?

16:12🔗 Adam Good news.

16:12🔗 Drew What's your question?

16:13🔗 Caller Well, the thing is, I don't want to jeopardize the relationship between me and her by telling her that...

16:20🔗 Drew Whoa, whoa.

16:20🔗 Adam You have to blow him.

16:22🔗 Caller Well, no. I'm just...

16:23🔗 Adam You have to.

16:23🔗 Caller I don't know how to tell her.

16:25🔗 Drew Why do you want to tell her? You handle the situation appropriately, it's over.

16:28🔗 Caller I understand, but what I'm afraid of is him like saying something. Sure.

16:33🔗 Adam It's going to go right there.

16:34🔗 Caller Like I came more to him or something like that, lying.

16:37🔗 All right.

16:39🔗 Adam Listen. Listen to me, everybody. The righteous have nothing to fear. If you didn't do anything, God help y'all if you're innocent, you can't explain yourself. I'm telling you, I would make the world's greatest defendant in a court case who didn't actually do it. But the problem is that I probably would have done it. I would get up there and go ballistic. Yeah. If my girlfriend accused me of coming on to the gay brother when in fact he came over and put his hand on my leg and I stood up and explained I wasn't gay. If you can't get that point across, you might as well kill yourself right now. You're not going to be able to explain anything. And there's no way in hell he's going to her.

17:17🔗 Drew No.

17:17🔗 Adam There's a sort of popular BS notion. I think people got it from watching too much Aaron Spelling on television. How many of these horrible shows where he's going to go and he's going to blackmail the guy, he's going to explain to this and that. Please. He got one gay guy and one guy is not gay. So who's coming on to who? Through the man. Jesus Christ.

17:41🔗 Drew Maybe if Jonathan has done despicable things and has been untrustworthy in the past.

17:46🔗 Adam There, there, that might be it.

17:48🔗 Drew That your past can certainly haunt you in these sort of situations.

17:51🔗 Adam Yes, but he's not gays very much in love with there, although I didn't know who bought that wrap, even if you were a woman. It's an interesting, interesting angle to work with the gays. Bert, even if you had a big set of hooters and a big juicy vagina, I still wouldn't, well, wait a minute.

18:11🔗 Drew See, I thought that, remember the caller we had last night with the female to male transsexual?

18:16🔗 Adam Yes.

18:16🔗 Drew I thought that would have challenged your instincts.

18:19🔗 Adam Why?

18:20🔗 Drew Because she had big hands.

18:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

18:22🔗 Drew She had a huge sex drive.

18:24🔗 Adam Yeah, she also had a nine inch clitoris.

18:26🔗 Drew And a vagina.

18:28🔗 Adam Yeah, that's where you get the clitoris. Oh, what a mess. I'll tell you, the people, I've never seen a transgendered operation or one that's been done after a couple of years. But to me, it'd be like someone just put an M80 in your underpants. That's what a picture is looking like. Just put an M80 in your vagina and see what happens. It's going to look more like a penis when you're done with the M80. Rebecca?

18:56🔗 Yeah.

18:57🔗 Adam Year 27?

18:58🔗 Yeah.

18:58🔗 Adam What's up?

19:00🔗 Man, I think I'm kind of a mess actually. But if I had to pick one thing? Yeah.

19:06🔗 Okay.

19:06🔗 Well, I've been a dancer for about...

19:10🔗 Drew Belly?

19:10🔗 Adam Tamp?

19:11🔗 No, not belly.

19:12🔗 Interpretive?

19:13🔗 I've been a stripper.

19:14🔗 Adam Oh, stripper. Yes, I see.

19:16🔗 Because dancers are stupid. Anyway, stripper, yeah.

19:19🔗 Adam Yeah.

19:20🔗 For like on and off, sometimes all straight through for like seven years.

19:25🔗 Adam I see. Topless, bottomless?

19:29🔗 Totally nude.

19:30🔗 Adam Totally nude.

19:30🔗 Drew You've done it for seven years?

19:32🔗 On and off, and I've also usually, most of the time, held a 40-hour regular job.

19:38🔗 Drew Doing what?

19:38🔗 You know, office kind of job.

19:39🔗 Adam Working with kids.

19:40🔗 Drew Okay.

19:41🔗 Yeah, actually.

19:42🔗 Drew Oh.

19:43🔗 Adam Nice.

19:43🔗 I taught Sunday school, too.

19:44🔗 Adam Yeah, one of the kids choked on a pasty and she was fired from her last gig.

19:49🔗 Drew You haven't done drugs through this whole thing?

19:51🔗 Yeah, actually.

19:52🔗 Drew Yeah, of course. All right.

19:54🔗 Adam So you do, yeah, any of the parents ever wander into the club or faculty or anybody involved?

20:00🔗 Well, actually, no. I don't really want to disclose much about that. However, I wasn't doing that for most of the time. I was just working in like your general, you know.

20:12🔗 Adam I see. What would you make on a good night as a stripper? Average. Average to good night.

20:18🔗 An average night would be like about an average lazy night, like maybe 300.

20:26🔗 Adam Right.

20:27🔗 But a good night, you could make like, I don't know. I mean, I've made a lot of money before.

20:31🔗 Adam Right. And working with the kids after Uncle Sam gets his cut and you pay for the parking and everything.

20:37🔗 Yeah. It kind of sucks.

20:38🔗 Drew 24.95.

20:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Really?

20:41🔗 But I mean, I'm not saying well.

20:43🔗 Adam All right. So what do you want to do with your life?

20:44🔗 I think that I definitely don't want to do that. But what the heck is my problem? I don't know what my problem is. It's like I went into this club I worked at tonight to get my stuff out of there. And I was like, well, I'm never there anyway. I haven't danced in about four months.

20:57🔗 Adam I see.

20:58🔗 And I went to get my stuff out and I walked in and it's like a sickness or something. Like I walked in there, okay, coming back to work. I ended up getting on the schedule. What the hell?

21:10🔗 Adam Sure. Well, you're effed up. But the other thing, I mean, that's what the hell. But the other thing is interesting about strippers, Drew, you don't know this because you don't talk to too many of them like I do.

21:21🔗 Drew But I have to hear about their cervical cancer.

21:23🔗 Adam They have. How dare you try to kill my erection on the eve before I go to Vegas. They don't have schedules. I mean, they have schedules when they come in and what time they start. I've never spoke to a stripper who had a time that she had to leave by or had to wait till. They knock off when they want to knock off.

21:43🔗 Drew So what's the schedule?

21:44🔗 Adam Well, the point is, is you're due to work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, get here at four in the afternoon. When you leave is when you leave.

21:52🔗 Drew I see.

21:52🔗 Adam You feel like you made enough money by 830 at night, go home. You want to make some more? Stay till three.

21:58🔗 Drew That's weird.

21:59🔗 Adam Not at every club, but everyone I've been into, every stripper I've talked to, it's the same ramp. Whenever I want, they leave whenever they want. If Charlie Sheen comes in there and he's waving around a bunch of bills, they're gone. They don't have to check out or punch out. Think about that as a job. You got a ninth grade education, you're making cash money every night, tons of it. I mean, literally, under the table, making 150, 200 bucks an hour, no problem. I mean, a lot of them say they need to make a couple of hundred bucks an hour. And go ahead and just double that if you want to talk about taxes. I mean, 200 bucks an hour under the table is at least 300, maybe 350. I mean, that's some serious dough. And you're leaving when you want to leave and doing what you want to do and hanging out and having guys buying you little miniature champagne bottles for 26 bucks. It's not a bad gig.

22:54🔗 Drew It sounds like you're talking yourself into it.

22:56🔗 Adam I'm trying to build up the courage.

22:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:58🔗 Adam Yeah.

22:58🔗 Drew It'll be good for you.

22:59🔗 Adam I'm going out there an amateur night.

23:00🔗 Drew She's got to ask her questions after the break.

23:03🔗 Adam Really?

23:03🔗 Drew Yeah.

23:04🔗 Adam No. I'll talk to her now. What do you got to do, P?

23:06🔗 Drew No, I want to relax.

23:07🔗 Adam Rebecca?

23:08🔗 Drew Yeah.

23:09🔗 Adam In 27, you're important to me.

23:11🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. I want to continue with the discussion after the break.

23:13🔗 Adam You're important to me, like all of my callers. My callers are like my kids, except for I'm like a black blues singer who doesn't know any of them. Thank you.

23:24🔗 You're welcome.

23:25🔗 Adam Are you high now?

23:27🔗 Yeah.

23:27🔗 Drew Alcohol.

23:28🔗 Adam You're drunk, right? No, no.

23:29🔗 I don't really drink that much, actually.

23:31🔗 Drew What are you high on?

23:32🔗 I smoke weed.

23:33🔗 Adam I see. And you want to get out of the stripper profession?

23:37🔗 Well, I don't know.

23:40🔗 You know, I kind of in the wake enjoy it sometimes.

23:43🔗 Adam I see. Well, you're not done.

23:45🔗 Drew Yeah, it is. It's certainly your relationships must be held for one thing.

23:49🔗 I don't even have any relationships.

23:51🔗 Drew Well, if you want one, then that's hell, isn't it?

23:55🔗 Yeah, kind of. Well, we've all been jerked anyway. I kind of been trained to hate men.

24:00🔗 Drew Well, that's what happens is that you engage with them in this, if you will, dance to have power over them and then you hate them for engaging in that with them.

24:09🔗 Adam That's true. I go to strip clubs and I've learned to hate men hanging out there. You're on the man show.

24:18🔗 Where's Drew?

24:19🔗 Adam Where's Drew?

24:21🔗 Caller Hey, Phil, come here.

24:22🔗 This dude.

24:23🔗 Adam I don't know that dude. You know this dude. I've never seen this dude. You know him, dude. I don't know you. Do I know you?

24:30🔗 Dude, this is Adam.

24:32🔗 Adam Who is that? The man show, dude. I don't have cable. Dude, you know this dude. I've never seen him before.

24:38🔗 Drew I'm telling you, dude.

24:40🔗 Adam You know. Hold on, Adam. Let me talk to Phil. Phil, you son of a bitch.

24:43🔗 Drew You know him.

24:45🔗 Adam Oh, that's right.

24:46🔗 Caller He said, dude.

24:49🔗 Adam Yes, I've learned to hate men from going to strip clubs.

24:52🔗 Drew And whatever it was that compelled you to need to be in that position and to not respect the usual boundaries is what sets you up for bad relationships. We'll find out more about what that is.

25:00🔗 Adam No, we won't.

25:01🔗 We're going to break.

25:01🔗 Drew Were you sexually abused when you were younger?

25:03🔗 You know, my cousin whipped it out once when I was about five.

25:06🔗 Adam It doesn't count.

25:07🔗 Drew No, it doesn't count.

25:08🔗 Adam Unless he hit you in the eye with it.

25:09🔗 And then my friend's dad, like, fought on my bed when I sat on his lap. That's about it.

25:14🔗 Adam Your son's dad?

25:15🔗 No, my friend's dad when I was about six.

25:17🔗 Adam Yeah, you're fine.

25:18🔗 Drew You're fine.

25:19🔗 Adam Hey, Rebecca.

25:20🔗 Drew You know what, Rebecca, this can be all about addiction, too. Is Loveline?

25:24🔗 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

25:29🔗 Caller This evening, presenting Loveline is the Cobalt Lounge in Car Toys, right here on 94.7 NRK, the New Rock Alternative.

26:05🔗 Adam No, you remember that, man. Hey, Loveline, everybody. Anderson hates when we're talking about nonsense, when the mic eats up. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew. We were just talking to you while we were back. I punched the wrong button in the senescy commercial in the middle of our thing, but we have her on hold. Yeah, I was thinking about why I hate the guys at the strip clubs and remind me of a story. The dude, you know this guy, but this had a little twist on it, which was two drunken guys.

26:38🔗 Drew Shocking.

26:39🔗 Adam Shocking. And at the strip club, and it was a little reversal, which is one guy's going, I know this dude. I know you, dude.

26:49🔗 Drew And he can't play, is it?

26:50🔗 Adam And the other guy is saying, he has two TV shows. That's how you know. No, no, no, no. You know when you're stupid and you're drunk?

26:59🔗 Drew Yeah.

26:59🔗 Adam And Warren is cranking in the background. No, no, dude. No, I know you. We ever in the Madison area, Wisconsin, Minneapolis? No, no. I grew up in North Hollywood. No, no, no, no. No, no. You play baseball? Little League of Baseball? Yeah, I did. You play that in the Madison area? No, no. Sherman O. And then his buddy. Dude, you know him from the TV show. You're high. You've seen him on TV.

27:38🔗 Caller So, no, dude.

27:39🔗 Adam No, no. I know this dude. They start hitting each other.

27:42🔗 Caller Shut up, dude.

27:43🔗 Adam I know this dude. Where did you go to high school? Did you go to high? Were you in the Madison area? Did you go to Kirkmont High in Lower May East, Madison? No, North Hollywood High. I lived in North High. Dude, he's the loveline dude. He's the sex dude. He does that guy show. You know him from, no, no, dude. You don't know. Do you go to college? No, me neither. All right. Dude, you're drunk. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry for my butt. Don't apologize for me. I know this cat. Oh, my God. It's like, oh, she's just kept going and going and going. Rebecca, is she there? Or do I hang up on her?

28:26🔗 Drew Rebecca? I'm here.

28:27🔗 Adam All right. We're done with you.

28:29🔗 Drew No, I'm not.

28:30🔗 Adam Just stop smoking weed. Maybe everything will clear up for you.

28:32🔗 Drew Well, this may all be about addiction. Even the use of these sorts of thrill mechanisms like dancing and using sex as a way of managing your emotional world. Drugs certainly is part of that. And unless you deal with the whole addictive process, like you say, you go back and you're sort of addictively compulsed to do it again. And unless you deal with that straightforwardly, this isn't likely to settle down by itself.

28:53🔗 Adam All right, speaking of addiction, Drew, we can't eat this popcorn until we go to commercial.

28:58🔗 Drew No, yeah, we can.

28:59🔗 Adam We can't. All right, unless you've already missed the next call.

29:03🔗 Drew Where are we going?

29:05🔗 Adam Let's talk to Kevin. Kevin is 20. Kevin?

29:09🔗 Yeah.

29:10🔗 Adam What's up?

29:10🔗 Hey, how you doing? I have a question. I've dated this girl for like year and a half, right? And we broke up. She told me actually early September because all throughout the year and a half, we had like good times and bad times. So now...

29:26🔗 Drew Write that down. Put it next to Rebecca's comments, yeah.

29:29🔗 Adam I'm just going to write G times and D times. Is that cool? Good times and bad times, you're saying.

29:34🔗 That's cool.

29:36🔗 Adam Very unique.

29:38🔗 So now she lives like in a sorority where she lives with a bunch of girls who keep telling her that you don't need a boyfriend. We have all these exchanges with all these guys, etc., etc.

29:49🔗 Drew That's part of being a sorority. Adam got his heart broken by that whole rap.

29:52🔗 Yeah.

29:53🔗 Adam Yeah. I pledged... I rushed a sorority once and couldn't get in.

29:58🔗 Drew No, he had a girlfriend that got lost in one and never saw her again. No, no.

30:02🔗 Adam She was in it the whole time. Oh. She was a chaplain. She dumped me. I was very upset.

30:10🔗 At what campus?

30:11🔗 Adam Where?

30:12🔗 Yeah.

30:13🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. So anyway, Kevin, she broke up with you.

30:16🔗 No, we'll listen.

30:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:17🔗 Okay.

30:18🔗 Adam No, you should start listening.

30:20🔗 Drew She broke up.

30:21🔗 Adam With you.

30:22🔗 Yeah.

30:22🔗 Drew That's it.

30:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Now she has her sorority sisters filling her head with all sorts of insane thoughts, like she should stay broken up with you after she decided to break up with you. How dare they poison her mind that way. Yeah. So what's your plan?

30:36🔗 Well, that's it. See, like this is a thing like, like she tells me that she misses me.

30:41🔗 Yeah.

30:42🔗 Like she misses when we should just like cuddle and watch movies. Like I love this girl.

30:47🔗 Adam Yeah. Here's how it works out. Do you miss me?

30:50🔗 Drew Huh? No, no.

30:52🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

30:53🔗 Drew No, no. I think she's probably using him.

30:56🔗 Adam Yeah, she could be.

30:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

30:59🔗 Adam He's also working angles too.

31:01🔗 Drew Yeah. But he's available to be, to mop the floor with.

31:04🔗 Adam Kevin, so what's your plan? What do you think? You think these girls are poisoning her mind?

31:11🔗 I don't know. I mean, I feel that she's like my soul mate in a way, you know? Like I love her tremendously.

31:16🔗 Drew How long have you been going out?

31:17🔗 We did it for a year and a half.

31:20🔗 Drew Is this your first girlfriend?

31:21🔗 No.

31:22🔗 Adam You're one hot chick away from you two not being soul mates anymore. You're going on one date with one decent looking chick and you're done. You understand?

31:33🔗 I've had that already.

31:34🔗 Adam You have?

31:35🔗 I mean, I went on dates with great looking girls, but she's the one that I think about.

31:41🔗 Adam All right. So what are you going to do about it? What's your plan?

31:44🔗 I'm thinking of waiting it out until she moves out of the house next door.

31:48🔗 Drew Well, I want you to enjoy yourself in the meantime. Pretend you're not going to be together. Let's see how this kind of thing works.

31:54🔗 Hang on.

31:56🔗 Drew Yeah. And then if you are together, great. And if you're not, you've not wasted a big part of your youth.

32:00🔗 Adam Oh, Drew, do you remember all those plans?

32:02🔗 Drew Yes.

32:04🔗 Adam I could fill an ocean with the amount of plans made by men.

32:09🔗 Drew World Trade Center. Seriously. You could, you could.

32:11🔗 Adam If one, if each plan was the thickness of a sheet of rice paper and I stack them on top of each other.

32:21🔗 Drew Empire State Building.

32:21🔗 Adam I could get higher than the World Trade Center.

32:23🔗 Drew Yeah.

32:24🔗 Adam With the plans I've had. Oh, boy, do I got a plan. No plan for work. No plan for school. No plan for life. No car insurance. None of those plans.

32:33🔗 Drew No.

32:34🔗 Adam Three roommates and I'm sleeping on a goddamn futon. But I got plans. I'm going to get this chick back.

32:41🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

32:42🔗 Adam I'm going to wait it out. Here's my plan. I'll smoke her out. I'll wait her out. I'll give her a little time. A little time to think about what she did, what she said. Let it eat away at her and then be like this. That's all enough. I'm calling and I'm crying. I'm doing anything. I'm coming over that bitch. I've waited. It's been ten minutes. Oh, my God. You have this at 20 is a guy. We ain't listening to anybody.

33:06🔗 Drew That feeling about that was well portrayed by John Favreau in Swingers. That is that feeling, that compulsion, that whatever.

33:16🔗 Adam That's right. All right. Wait a minute. I see someone who works at a porn store. I want to talk to this person.

33:21🔗 Drew One, three.

33:22🔗 Adam Three. Bill?

33:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

33:24🔗 Adam You're 25?

33:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

33:26🔗 Adam You work at a porn store? Yeah. So I guess it all came together for you, didn't it, buddy?

33:30🔗 Caller I guess.

33:31🔗 Adam A master plan. I know what it's like. You're in the third grade. You're talking or fantasizing about your career.

33:38🔗 Not exactly.

33:39🔗 Adam One guy wants to be an astronaut. The other guy wants to be the president. You want to work at a porn store. What's the name of this porn store?

33:46🔗 I don't think I can say that over here.

33:48🔗 Adam Why not?

33:48🔗 Huh?

33:49🔗 Adam Why not?

33:51🔗 I'm not sure.

33:52🔗 Adam What, are you going to offend the clientele? I just bought a six pack of dildos and a butt plug.

33:57🔗 I'm just not sure.

33:58🔗 Adam He's a little put off by the name.

33:59🔗 Drew And the owner would be pissed because you got national coverage. Yeah. He's going to be pissed if you don't.

34:03🔗 Adam What's it called?

34:05🔗 It's called B&B.

34:07🔗 Adam There you go. What the hell is it? Like bondage? What does B stand for?

34:12🔗 No.

34:13🔗 I'm not sure exactly.

34:14🔗 Adam I see. All right. Well, that's a-

34:16🔗 I'm just a lowly clerk.

34:17🔗 Adam Another dead end to one of my loveline queries, by the way. Right. All right. So you work behind the counter?

34:22🔗 Yeah.

34:22🔗 Adam You know what I like about the porn store? The counter's up four feet higher than the floor.

34:27🔗 Yeah, sometimes.

34:28🔗 Adam Yeah. You're like Yertle the Turtle up there. You're king of all your survey. Right. And another thing I like about the porn-

34:34🔗 Drew It's like a pulpit.

34:35🔗 Adam Another time, yes. You're going to do something, you're like the pope up there. You're going to do some preaching. Another thing I like about the porn store is the testing of the vibrators before they go out the door. Am I right?

34:45🔗 Yeah. We have to ensure quality of product to our customer. Yeah.

34:47🔗 Adam You put a couple of batteries in there and fire it up.

34:50🔗 Oh yeah.

34:52🔗 Adam That's a lovely experience.

34:53🔗 Drew Why do they have to ensure quality?

34:54🔗 Adam Are they going to return it?

34:55🔗 Yeah. No returns.

34:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

34:57🔗 Adam I had this halfway up this hooker's ass and it went dead on me.

35:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:01🔗 Drew But you go to Target, it's your own risk.

35:03🔗 Adam No refunds. No. Hold on a second. How dare you, Drew? First off, when have you ever been to Target?

35:10🔗 Drew Regular.

35:10🔗 Adam Number two, when you send your people to Target.

35:13🔗 Drew No. I go to Target.

35:14🔗 Adam How dare you? Now listen, when you buy a hair dryer at Target, you bring it home, you plug it in and it catches on fire, you can return it. You don't personally do it, but it can be done. It ain't worth it to you. You're a very important man, but you can do it. You go to a porn store and buy a oscillating ass jack. Get that halfway up, your girlfriend. Have some sparks fly out of it. You ain't bringing it back. There's no seconds bin over there.

35:42🔗 Drew That's the point. You ain't bringing it back anyway.

35:44🔗 Adam I wouldn't do it anyway, but there's a handful of guys who would. The guys who go to porn stores regularly.

35:49🔗 Drew I see.

35:50🔗 Adam And these things need to be tested. Right, Bill?

35:53🔗 Caller Occasionally.

35:54🔗 Adam You test them every time though, right?

35:55🔗 Caller Oh yeah, oh yeah.

35:56🔗 Adam Yeah, okay.

35:57🔗 Drew Occasionally.

35:57🔗 Adam That's gotta be. No, I mean, people try to bring them back. That's gonna be one of the world's longest moments when you're standing there with the clerk and that thing's fired up.

36:06🔗 I set them on the counter, so they spin around.

36:08🔗 Adam You don't actually have to put it up your ass or anything like that? No.

36:11🔗 Drew He likes to see it dance.

36:12🔗 Adam I see. All right, so it works good. You have any tips? You know, when you're at the paint store, you buy a gallon of paint, you got roller covers for that and a drop cloth? What do you do? You got some ass lube and some C cells? I'm interested to see if you have a little French tickler, some Benoit balls to go with that? You try to do it like when you go to a fast food place, ask if you want to try the fajitas, you want to try the crispy chips. Yeah, you want to throw in some dessert. Do you try to work that?

36:40🔗 Oh yeah.

36:40🔗 Adam Are you on commission over there?

36:41🔗 Oh yeah.

36:43🔗 Adam Oh, that's got to be great at the presentation. Where did I... Bill sold over $4,500 worth of dildos last month.

36:50🔗 Drew Did you get a picture from Floyd Lamont? A plaque?

36:54🔗 Adam All right, buddy.

36:55🔗 Drew So what's your question, Bill?

36:56🔗 Adam Hey, I got a movie I'm looking for over there.

36:59🔗 Uh, it's too far.

37:00🔗 Drew What's it called?

37:01🔗 Adam Uh, Spank Me, Ask Me.

37:03🔗 Drew No.

37:05🔗 Adam Minka's in it.

37:05🔗 Drew Oh, I see. Bill, what's the question?

37:08🔗 Um, you're an addiction specialist type guy?

37:11🔗 Yeah. What is your call on porn addiction?

37:15🔗 Drew What about it?

37:16🔗 Is it real?

37:17🔗 Is it fake?

37:17🔗 Drew Yeah, no, it's real. Sexual addictions of all types are real common. In fact, most addicts have a sexual addiction component of their disease.

37:24🔗 Adam Bill, we gotta tell you it's real. You work at a job.

37:27🔗 Well, no, uh, no.

37:28🔗 See, that's, I've seen articles that say it's not. I've seen articles that say it is.

37:31🔗 Adam Yeah, in the back of Screw magazine.

37:34🔗 Drew I guarantee it. It's not, uh, it's not open for opinion. It's a medical diagnosis. It's part of the whole, the whole medical society, you know, that's designed to deal with the National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity. I mean, these are syndromes that are not, it's not a question of whether they're there or not. They're descriptions of syndromes that people treat every day.

37:54🔗 Adam Hey, Bill, you behind the counter right now? Yeah. Why don't you look through the display case and just read me what you got down there? What do you got?

38:04🔗 Oh, some lingerie, some playing cards.

38:08🔗 Adam Playing cards? What else? Anything specific?

38:10🔗 Some Beanie Babies.

38:12🔗 Adam You sell Beanie Babies at the point in case a kid wants, a guy wants to grab something for his kid, or?

38:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:17🔗 Adam All right. And no, no.

38:19🔗 Happy Jerk Off Santa Claus.

38:20🔗 Adam That's, that's the kind of specific comedy I'm looking for.

38:24🔗 Mini Peter Water Guns, you know.

38:26🔗 Adam Right. All the good stuff.

38:28🔗 Yeah. Strip Poker Game.

38:30🔗 Adam All right.

38:30🔗 The whatnot. The standard porno fare.

38:32🔗 Adam Bill, let me tell you something, brother, and don't argue with me. You have arrived. You understand? I don't care what your parents say. I don't care what your buddies say. You have arrived. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Chris. Chris is 23. After he masturbates, he loves to pee on himself.

38:49🔗 Drew Fascinating.

38:50🔗 Adam After this. Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Just got off the phone with Drew's wife, talking about door sweeps and T and flat astral, flush bolts and thresholds and drip edges.

39:42🔗 Caller Thank you. Nice.

39:44🔗 Drew Sounds like the porn shop again.

39:46🔗 Adam Nobody knows doors like I do. Oh, do I know them doors.

39:50🔗 Boring.

39:54🔗 Adam Are we talking about the butt side or the strike side? Chris?

39:58🔗 Yeah.

39:58🔗 Adam You're 23.

39:59🔗 Yeah. My question is, am I looking or should I be worried about any infections because I like to urinate on myself? Also, I have one more question after that.

40:09🔗 Adam Yeah. What do you mean urinate on yourself? How does that work? What position are you in?

40:14🔗 While I'm masturbating after I finish up, I just and I don't do this all the time, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I like to urinate on my stomach and everything else.

40:23🔗 Adam As you lie on your back?

40:24🔗 Yeah.

40:24🔗 Drew What does that do? What is the feeling?

40:26🔗 Adam Where are you? On your folks bed? Or where are you when you do this?

40:29🔗 My bedroom floor.

40:30🔗 Adam Bedroom floor? Yeah.

40:32🔗 Drew What is the feeling?

40:33🔗 You have to warm and-

40:33🔗 Adam Hold on a second. What do you got down on the floor?

40:36🔗 Carpet.

40:38🔗 Drew What are you doing on the floor?

40:40🔗 Just masturbating. That's it.

40:41🔗 Drew No-

40:41🔗 Adam You're living at home or you're in an apartment?

40:44🔗 No, apartment.

40:45🔗 Adam This, by the way, is what went on before you put your cleaning pots down and move into a place. This is what went on. It's kind of debauchery that goes on. These are the coats that are left behind in the bedroom. Don't you put a towel down or something?

40:57🔗 Nothing, man. It's what I do when I'm done, you know, with everything, the urination, everything, that I just spray down some carpet foam and walk away and I'm done.

41:06🔗 Adam Yeah. How about grabbing something from the hamper and spreading it out there?

41:10🔗 Yeah. I guess I could work too.

41:12🔗 Adam You just whizz all over the carpet?

41:14🔗 Well, it's on me mainly.

41:16🔗 Adam I know, but it runs right off your belly like water on a goose, doesn't it?

41:22🔗 Well, yeah.

41:25🔗 Drew What is it? What is it? Okay.

41:28🔗 Adam Something's wrong with you.

41:29🔗 Okay. One more question.

41:30🔗 Adam Hold on a second. I'm not done with this one.

41:32🔗 Caller Okay.

41:34🔗 Adam Just imagine a bouillabaisse of a chis and a urine on his belly.

41:39🔗 Drew And sweat.

41:39🔗 Adam He's making rock soup on his belly button. Oh, that's bad times. Let's be fair. There's some hair in there.

41:46🔗 Drew But his question was, what kind of infection can you get? And urine is nice and sterile. You can use it to clean things off.

41:52🔗 Adam Yeah.

41:53🔗 Oh, really?

41:53🔗 Adam Yeah. I use it to do windows, dashboards, wheels, everything around the house.

41:59🔗 I didn't know that.

41:59🔗 Adam It's all-purpose cleaner.

42:00🔗 Drew It's high on your rear.

42:01🔗 Adam It's called Simple Yellow.

42:03🔗 And to chop it off, I use shampoo whenever I'm doing this. And this is not a prank call, guys.

42:07🔗 Adam You jack with shampoo?

42:09🔗 Yeah.

42:09🔗 Adam You're flirting with disaster, buddy.

42:11🔗 Drew Well, what kind of shampoo?

42:14🔗 I mean, it does get dry sometimes, but it's not.

42:16🔗 Adam No.

42:16🔗 Drew No, Adam had a urethritis from Prel once, and he's never forgotten it.

42:19🔗 Adam How dare you? I've never whacked off with Prel. I have had complaints from my buddies.

42:25🔗 Drew Oh, they're the ones.

42:26🔗 Adam Or partners about whacking off with the Prel.

42:29🔗 Drew I see. You never get beat off.

42:31🔗 Adam What are you using? Are you using like baby shampoo or something?

42:34🔗 Well, it's right here. It's Suave Shampoo. It's Herbal Care, lavender.

42:39🔗 Adam Hold on. Close your eyes. Here's a picture. I picture Fine China, him in a smoking jacket, an ascot monogrammed, of course, made out of the finest silk, a high back leather chair.

42:52🔗 Drew Fire going behind him.

42:53🔗 Adam Fire going, him smoking pipe, a $20,000 home theater system.

42:58🔗 Drew Great Danes by side.

43:01🔗 Adam Or you're picturing a guy with like a truck, truck up on blocks, up on the lawn of the apartment and-

43:09🔗 Drew Beat up boxers with poop stains.

43:15🔗 Adam How are you doing on facial hair? What do you got?

43:18🔗 Nothing.

43:19🔗 Adam Okay. Nothing. Dr. Anderson quite down over there. What did he say? He said ask him about facial hair. That's why it sounded like a lame question. All right, Chris.

43:27🔗 You know what?

43:28🔗 Adam You're fine, buddy. My biggest problem is you're jacking off a shampoo. Yeah.

43:32🔗 One more question.

43:32🔗 Drew Yeah.

43:33🔗 Adam Okay. How many times do you urinate on yourself, would you say?

43:36🔗 Well, probably just once every couple of months.

43:38🔗 Drew All right.

43:39🔗 Adam That's fine.

43:39🔗 Drew What's your other question?

43:40🔗 Okay, my other question is, is there any way, and also, because I know you guys are going to hang up with me whenever my question's over. I know that. But don't jack with your phone screen, your man, by the way. Anyway, my question is, is there any way I can get copies?

43:55🔗 Adam Hold on a second. He accused us of hanging up on him when he's done with his question.

43:58🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:00🔗 Adam What's he wants to do? Put him in like the caller bullpen?

44:03🔗 Drew The post call of that pen, Ben.

44:05🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Hurry up, Chris.

44:08🔗 Okay. All right. I'm being fast, man. All right. Check this out. What I'm wondering, is there any way I can get copies of the shows you had before this from the last years and all that, and can I have the address of that to order those or to order them?

44:25🔗 No.

44:27🔗 Drew Anderson, there's a business here for you.

44:28🔗 Adam No, I have. We have no idea. We don't have copies of shows. There's no address that I'm aware of and there's nothing that can be ordered.

44:34🔗 Drew Is there anything he can do, Anderson?

44:35🔗 Do you have a fan mail address?

44:37🔗 Adam Not that I'm aware of.

44:40🔗 Drew What's the 105, the Hollywood address? PO Box 105.

44:44🔗 Okay, PO Box.

44:45🔗 Drew What's that address? Anybody? 10510, anybody?

44:49🔗 Adam Do you know? We don't know. I mean, listen, we appreciate your inquiry but we have no idea. I don't.

44:54🔗 No address, man.

44:55🔗 Adam I don't know. I don't know.

44:57🔗 Drew We don't know, yeah. We had one for a while, though.

45:00🔗 Adam Thanks, Chris. Let me tell you something about this show. I know people assume, it's like, hey, it's a big national show and people know who we are and know what the show is and all that kind of stuff. There's no mailbox here as far as I'm, I've never seen, there's nothing, is there anything with my name on? Is there a mailbox or anything?

45:17🔗 Drew No, Ann's got something here.

45:18🔗 Adam No, I don't have a mailbox. I never read any mail. A couple of times a year, someone sends over a tub of roasted nuts and I eat those. I've never seen any email or anything on the web. I know there's some unofficial Loveline websites or fansites or whatever. Never seen any of those, never talked to anybody, never wrote a letter back, never heard anything, don't have any copies of the show. We don't do a best of CD, we don't donate money to charity, we don't do anything. We get here at two minutes to 10 and we run out of here at 1201 and that's it. Never do a goddamn thing. We never have a meeting, we never print up a T-shirt, we never do anything that other radio shows do. We have no idea where the calls are coming from and out of the 80 markets we're in, I could name five of them and the call letters of three of them. I have no idea about anything that goes on here, and that's the way I like it, it's just a bad memory. Like I said, a lot of people think of Vietnam that way, they left it behind.

46:17🔗 Drew It's funny, we're having this conversation, a friend of mine...

46:21🔗 Adam Is there a national show that has less than this show?

46:25🔗 Drew But be fair, what support it gets, we put back.

46:30🔗 Adam What do you mean?

46:31🔗 Drew What support it gets from...

46:33🔗 Adam We don't do anything.

46:34🔗 Drew And then the people that...

46:35🔗 Adam The people we hire, we don't do anything.

46:37🔗 Drew But how about the organization?

46:38🔗 Adam Nobody does anything.

46:38🔗 Drew That's right.

46:40🔗 Adam I mean...

46:40🔗 Drew It's not just us.

46:41🔗 Adam No, but I mean if somebody calls, someone calls in and wants to send us a letter, I don't know what the address is. I don't even know where our mailbox is. I don't know, they want a T-shirt, they want a picture, they want a copy of the show. I don't know if we have copies of the show. I don't have any copies of the show.

46:54🔗 Drew A friend of mine has a family in Arizona, and they were complaining about your millionaire status.

46:58🔗 Adam Yes, literally.

46:59🔗 Drew People are taking, people take that seriously.

47:02🔗 Adam Literally a millionaire, but I won't let them take it seriously. How dare they? I could buy and sell all of you tomorrow. Thank you. And let me tell you something else. I watched these, I was watching MTV tonight. There was a model talking about how when she's on the runway, it's a big deal, but when she goes home, she's very normal, very average, very regular. Not me. I go home, I spend thousands on model airplanes. I watch big screen TVs. I spend my money on frivolous things and drink a lot. I do all the things a millionaire would do. We'll be right back. Thank you. Loveline, the Fast-Growing Outlaw Radio Show in Southern California. I bled a little over into the music. Yeah. Trying to get the Outlaw Radio Show. All right. It's my fault for trying to do some decent radio. That's Dr. Drew, I'm Adam Corolla. It's Loveline, phone number 1-800-LLVE-191. And here we go. Back to the bones. Chris?

48:00🔗 Yeah.

48:01🔗 Adam You're 24.

48:02🔗 Yeah. I got a problem. Ever since I was 16, when I get with a girl, they don't even have to touch me. And I go in my pants all the time.

48:18🔗 Adam You go number 2?

48:20🔗 No.

48:20🔗 Drew Number 1.

48:22🔗 I ejaculate in my pants.

48:24🔗 Adam In the pants?

48:25🔗 Yeah.

48:25🔗 Adam Well, once you take the pants off, you hit the floor.

48:28🔗 Well, before I even get the pants off, I'm like, done, you know?

48:32🔗 Adam Yeah, that's a bad time. Because even if we improved you like 200%, you'd only be up to 30 seconds.

48:39🔗 Drew Yeah. What about doing another round?

48:42🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

48:44🔗 After that, I'm ready to go.

48:45🔗 Caller But how can I stop the first time?

48:48🔗 Drew Why not get it out of the way yourself?

48:50🔗 Adam Yeah. You do what I do. You get out of the way in the restaurant bathroom before you get home. Guys will look at you, Scans, but it's all right. You take care of business. I understand. In the sink there in front of the mirror making a weird face. Yeah, Chris. So let me get this right. You go on a date. Let's say you met a new girl. And you go out. You go out to dinner. You go to a movie. You have a nice time. Everything's going along good. You guys are clicking. You head back to your parents' place. Where do you live?

49:21🔗 I live in Brayton, Michigan.

49:23🔗 Adam I see. At your parents' place?

49:25🔗 No.

49:26🔗 Adam I see. Okay. Go ahead and chime in next time. And you, her hands start, you start making out.

49:33🔗 Yeah.

49:34🔗 Adam And her hands start rubbing around south of the border. And that's it?

49:37🔗 Yeah, that's how it goes. Yeah.

49:39🔗 Adam Now how long would it take you to get going again?

49:44🔗 Probably about five, ten minutes.

49:45🔗 Adam I see. Oh, perfect. Why don't you pack some tissue down your pants? She starts rubbing around down there. You go. And then you keep making out like nothing happened, even though it's gross at that point, I realize. You make it through the next five minutes and now you're ready to have sex.

50:02🔗 Drew How long can you last the second time?

50:05🔗 Oh, for like twenty minutes or so.

50:07🔗 Adam Yeah, there you go. That's your technique. You got to put a sponge down there.

50:13🔗 Drew I can't stop the first time I do it. That's it.

50:17🔗 Adam That's how you're wired.

50:18🔗 Drew But people need to learn to deal with their sexual wiring the way they deal with like any other coordination in their body.

50:23🔗 Adam But Drew, let me ask you this. Why is it when someone tickles my feet, it's I'm amazingly ticklish on my feet and other people feel nothing? Why?

50:34🔗 Drew Right. All right.

50:35🔗 Adam Now what can I do about it? Right. Zero.

50:38🔗 Drew Right.

50:39🔗 Adam Zero. For some people, it's behind their knees. For me, it's my feet. But the point is that's it. Now maybe I could do some biofeedback therapy or something and it'd be a little less, but not much. Yeah.

50:52🔗 Drew And why not just deal with it behaviorally?

50:55🔗 Adam Get it out of the way. I swear to Christ. I'd pack a couple of gym socks down there, fill out the shorts, have a little something to mop up and pow. It's off and feeling good. Ready for round two? You got 20 minutes. He's got a five minute refractory period. That is so bizarre to me, though, when the guy's just rubbing around and pow.

51:15🔗 Caller Like a shot.

51:17🔗 Drew You got to understand that not everyone is like you. You have to accept that.

51:21🔗 Adam Thank you. Thank you.

51:23🔗 Drew I know for you it's all about legs locking and caps cramping. For other guys, their legs are completely placid.

51:29🔗 Adam That's right. Yes. You're 29.

51:34🔗 Caller I just started a new relationship and my question is how and when do I explain to him about my scars from cutting and that I might continue this behavior?

51:45🔗 Adam Never.

51:47🔗 Caller Never?

51:48🔗 Adam You tell him you were captured by the North Vietnamese during the Tet Offensive in 71. You were interrogated. It was the worst weekend of your life and you refused to talk about it and that's it. If he wants to know, that's it. Don't start getting into it. Don't start dropping that weird bomb on him too early.

52:04🔗 Caller That's what I'm afraid of.

52:05🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, why monkey with it?

52:07🔗 Drew Well, you do need to eventually need to tell him.

52:10🔗 Caller They're pretty visible though.

52:11🔗 Drew He got scars all over his eyes.

52:12🔗 Adam Have you taken care of this?

52:15🔗 Caller I'm in therapy right now.

52:18🔗 Drew Cutters cut.

52:19🔗 Adam Tell me if you fell in the cactus or something.

52:21🔗 Drew No, I wouldn't lie. I really wouldn't.

52:23🔗 Adam Why not? You freak the guy out. You're better now, right?

52:28🔗 Drew She still cuts once in a while.

52:29🔗 Adam You're done with the cutting?

52:31🔗 Drew She cuts.

52:32🔗 Adam You know, I know this sounds, I don't know, like a too easy an answer, but instead of... You know, it's like what they used to say about the arms race. Arms are for hugging.

52:45🔗 Drew Farts are for cutting.

52:46🔗 Adam That's the way I would say it. How about cutting a fart next time you think about cutting your arm? How about that?

52:52🔗 Drew I don't know. Thank you.

52:53🔗 Adam Yeah, you do that on... That trucker's horn move with your right hand and then break some wind. That's right. All right, Stephanie, you think you're done with the cutting?

53:06🔗 Caller I'm trying. Every day I'm trying.

53:08🔗 Adam She still cuts. Are you still cutting?

53:11🔗 Caller I cut about a week ago.

53:14🔗 Adam Hey, if you're cutting, are you ready to date?

53:17🔗 Caller I don't... See, I don't know.

53:18🔗 Drew That's a great question. What does your therapist say?

53:23🔗 Caller She doesn't really say anything about it.

53:24🔗 Drew How's the guy?

53:26🔗 Caller He's cool.

53:27🔗 Drew Is he?

53:28🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

53:28🔗 Drew Is there anything funny about him?

53:31🔗 Caller No, not really. We both have the same kind of background.

53:34🔗 Adam Yeah, boy.

53:36🔗 Caller I grew up with alcoholic parents.

53:38🔗 Adam Is he a piece of work?

53:40🔗 Caller No, he's cool.

53:42🔗 Adam What does he do for a living?

53:43🔗 Caller He's an artist.

53:45🔗 Adam Oh, no. No, please tell me no. That's bad news. What's he really do for a living?

53:52🔗 Caller He's an artist.

53:53🔗 Adam He makes money off of it? What's he sell?

53:57🔗 Caller Oil paints.

53:59🔗 Adam Sofa size?

54:00🔗 Caller Natural. Nature.

54:01🔗 Drew Why are you wheezing?

54:03🔗 Caller I'm smoking.

54:04🔗 Drew Wow.

54:05🔗 Caller Asthma.

54:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

54:06🔗 Caller I'm nervous.

54:07🔗 Adam Cutting on your lungs. Now, he really makes a good living from selling his oil paintings? Of nature. I see. He has no day job.

54:17🔗 Caller Nope.

54:18🔗 Adam He's a freaky guy. So one of those guys with a sort of mohawk and a pony tail at the same time. He's got a bone through his nose. Does he wear a beret?

54:26🔗 Caller What?

54:26🔗 Adam Does he wear a beret?

54:28🔗 Caller No.

54:28🔗 Adam Do you have a lot of aggressive piercings and tats?

54:31🔗 Caller No, no. I'm the one with that.

54:33🔗 Adam Okay.

54:34🔗 Drew All right.

54:35🔗 Adam Well, he knows what he's in for. He's an artist.

54:38🔗 Drew Yeah. As soon as you're getting comfortable in a relationship, you're going to start talking about, yeah, talk about-

54:42🔗 Adam Explain to him that you're an artist and your arm is your canvas.

54:46🔗 Drew Okay. He might see it that way. That's how you express it.

54:49🔗 Adam All right. Be honest with him. Although, I think she's doing it to tell him. I think part of the deal is she wants him to know. I don't think she has to tell him.

54:59🔗 Drew Cunning has an addictive quality to it.

55:00🔗 Adam I know. But think about other addictions. You don't want your partner to know.

55:05🔗 Drew If you're doing coke, She doesn't want to know, but she thinks she's going to have to tell him.

55:09🔗 Adam If you're doing coke, do you think you have to tell your partner?

55:12🔗 Drew Yeah, but part of the...

55:13🔗 Adam Answer. Answer me, sir.

55:16🔗 Drew You don't want to, I suppose.

55:18🔗 Adam No, you don't. You hide it from them.

55:20🔗 Drew But you also don't want to stop. You're doing coke.

55:23🔗 Adam I understand. But if you want to stop, if you're doing coke, let's say you're doing blow, you're having a problem with it, but you got it under control and you're down once a week and you're not doing as much again. Is your question, how do I tell my partner? No, if you hide it from your partner. Why with cutting? Because part of cutting is attention. Different than other diseases.

55:44🔗 Drew Most cutters hide the cutting. Most people don't know that. No one has any idea.

55:47🔗 Adam Yeah, they do and they don't.

55:49🔗 Drew No, most of them cut way down here, like below the pan.

55:51🔗 Adam How dare you tell me your business. I know your business.

55:55🔗 Drew No, they cut down the leg.

55:56🔗 Adam Not this cutter. She's got a weird thing. She wants to open up. She wants to talk to them about it.

56:00🔗 Drew If you have that feeling about her, I won't.

56:03🔗 Adam I got that feeling about her. Okay, you should all hide in shame.

56:07🔗 Drew You don't have to talk about Robert Downey and that whole thing.

56:10🔗 Adam No, so you cut her?

56:11🔗 Drew I don't know.

56:13🔗 Adam I don't know Robert Downey.

56:14🔗 Drew I don't know about him. Everybody's speculating all about him.

56:17🔗 Adam Why do they want to know?

56:19🔗 Drew Why can't he stop using drugs?

56:21🔗 Adam Are they asking you about it?

56:22🔗 Drew No, well, probably people want to talk about it. Really? Yeah.

56:25🔗 Adam Not me.

56:26🔗 Drew I know.

56:27🔗 Adam Although I look at the ground when I walk.

56:30🔗 Drew You yell at people when they come around you, too.

56:32🔗 Adam Well, this radio show prides itself on not talking about anything that other radio shows talk about.

56:36🔗 Drew Right.

56:37🔗 Adam It would be The Election and Robert Downey and things of relevance. I'm not interested in Robert Downey.

56:45🔗 Drew I think he's a real genius.

56:47🔗 Adam He seems like a good actor and seems like a guy who's a drug problem. Not the first, not the last.

56:54🔗 Drew Big, big time drug problem, though.

56:55🔗 Adam Big time. But there's been many musician, many an artist, many an actor who's had this problem. And either they die or they don't. I hope he takes care of himself. I don't have any opinions on it. He's a drug addict. What should our opinions be?

57:11🔗 Drew Well, why can't he? Why is he so intractable in his case? In front of all the consequences, why can't he get with it?

57:16🔗 Adam He's not ready to stop. Why? Why do some people end up killing themselves and not stopping first?

57:23🔗 Drew Actually, you have to evaluate them. I think he may have some other psychiatric stuff going on.

57:26🔗 Adam Well, yeah. As most drug addicts do.

57:29🔗 Drew As many do, yes.

57:30🔗 Adam Almost all, I'd say. But he's what? 29 or 30? Oh, no, no. Actually, he's 35, I think. He may be coming to the end of it in a good way or a bad way. I'd give him another couple of years.

57:44🔗 Drew One way or the other.

57:46🔗 Adam Yeah. People have a certain... There's a certain age range with this stuff. It starts in the late teens, early twenties, and it goes to the mid-thirties sometimes.

57:54🔗 Drew Part of it is you die.

57:55🔗 Adam It's either die or it goes away at some point.

57:58🔗 Drew Well, I'm going to lie or you get better.

58:01🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. I'm not saying people can cure themselves without giving money to you, Drew. That's not what I'm implying. What I'm implying is there are many more guys who are drug addicts at 33 than there are 43.

58:12🔗 Drew Yes.

58:12🔗 Adam There's plenty of 43-year-olds, but it's much, and some of it is just cyclical. I knew a lot of guys who were drug addicts, and there were a lot of them just kind of, it just kind of came to an end, it just ended. I don't mean serious free-base coke addicts. I mean guys who did some coke, guys who drank, guys who had a little problem. They got out of control on many.

58:33🔗 Drew You had some serious stuff going on too, and those people had to get treatment.

58:36🔗 Adam Some of them didn't, some of them didn't. Some of them just had kids, had a family, and just kind of mellowed out. They just got tired of waking up in strange hotel rooms, not knowing what they did the night before. It just kind of coasted for them.

58:52🔗 Drew That usually, when somebody truly has that kind of momentum and then it stops again, it usually picks it back up again later in life.

58:59🔗 Adam No.

58:59🔗 Drew With alcohol, with alcohol.

59:00🔗 Adam Yeah, maybe. See, here's the thing, Drew, you make two arguments, like most of my friends you would have classified as alcoholics, but then most of them just kind of stopped too.

59:11🔗 Drew But I'm telling you-

59:12🔗 Adam And not cold turkey, they still have a beer or whatever, they just mellowed out.

59:16🔗 Drew I'm telling you, that's a situation I see all the time where it starts getting out of control again, and what it does this time, it does big time.

59:23🔗 Adam I don't know, they all seem, they're all pretty even keeled, which is they have a beer when it's appropriate, but they just don't go nuts anymore. That's it.

59:33🔗 Drew Or they weren't addicts.

59:35🔗 Adam No, they weren't addicts, they drank a lot.

59:37🔗 Drew No, it's not an addiction.

59:38🔗 Adam All right, all I'm saying with Downey is, I think it's coming to a head, and this is it, and he's got another year or whatever, and that'll be it. He'll stop, he'll be fine. Enjoy. That's what I'm saying. Good times. Carmen?

59:54🔗 Hi.

59:55🔗 Adam You're 17.

59:56🔗 Caller Okay. There's this guy at work, and some people at work, I think he has a crush on me or whatever, and we're like kind of pals, and like two weeks ago, this girl was like, yeah, I think John has a crush on you. I was like, no, we're just friends. And then he comes walking up, I was like, hey, John, Mary was just talking trash about you. And he's like, oh, yeah, what'd she say? And she blurt out that she thinks he has a crush on me. And apparently he turned red, but I was like glaring at this chick. So two days later on Wednesday, he was like talking to me, and we were just like hanging out at work, and he kind of friendly-ish asked me if I wanted to go see Little Nicky, and I was like, yeah, all right, whatever. So on Friday, he was like, what day are you off next week? And I'm like Thursday. So we decided that we would go home.

1:00:51🔗 Adam Drew, I'm going to take a leak, all right? You tell me when this gets to whatever.

1:00:53🔗 Caller Okay, long story short, Monday, he was like, are we still going? I was like, yeah, I'll see you on Wednesday. And he's like, all right, cool. Wednesday, he's sick, called in to work. So like, you know, we planned to make our final plans on Wednesday. And so we didn't go on Thursday. Friday, he doesn't even show up at work. He's like in complete no show. He doesn't call. They call his house. And he was supposed to work today and he didn't show up again today. So I'm wondering if I should call him and see if he really is sick or you know why not?

1:01:27🔗 Drew I would care about whether the guy is okay or not and if he's not.

1:01:31🔗 Adam What kind of work is it?

1:01:32🔗 Caller It's just like a nursery store, like plants and stuff and we have Christmas stuff.

1:01:39🔗 Adam Nice. What's a, what are one of those living trees around you this time of year?

1:01:44🔗 Caller What like a Christmas tree?

1:01:45🔗 Adam Yeah, the living ones, the ones in the pots.

1:01:49🔗 Caller Like a shrub or a big one?

1:01:51🔗 Caller No, a tree.

1:01:54🔗 Adam You're familiar with the holiday Christmas?

1:01:56🔗 Caller Yes, but I mean we don't have potted Christmas trees. We have little potted ones.

1:02:01🔗 Adam I see, you don't have those like living ones?

1:02:03🔗 Caller No.

1:02:04🔗 Drew This is not California in this school.

1:02:07🔗 Caller This is in Michigan.

1:02:08🔗 Drew Yeah, Californians have living Christmas trees.

1:02:11🔗 Caller We have living Christmas trees, they're just not in pots.

1:02:13🔗 Drew Yep, no, no, that you keep year round in pots and bring them back out again the next year.

1:02:20🔗 Adam Where are your living Christmas trees?

1:02:22🔗 Drew No, she means you cut them down live.

1:02:24🔗 Adam Oh, I see, there's a process where we put a seed in the soil and then we'll cultivate it?

1:02:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:02:30🔗 Adam I see. Yeah, we got that. We got living corn too and then we cut it down and eat it. It's very interesting. I could get into it, but... Hi there, Carmen. Sorry. Sorry about that. Yeah, why don't you give him a call at home and see how he's feeling.

1:02:43🔗 Caller All right.

1:02:44🔗 Drew And if he's freakishly shy...

1:02:48🔗 Caller Well, he's not freakishly shy because he's... I mean, he approached me on Monday and was like, are we still going?

1:02:54🔗 Adam How old is he?

1:02:55🔗 Caller Seventeen.

1:02:55🔗 Adam All right, give him a call. He may be sick.

1:02:58🔗 Drew And that may have been... maybe that was his first attempt at asking somebody out.

1:03:00🔗 Adam You think he quit his job?

1:03:02🔗 Caller No, I just think it's really weird because all these people are like, yeah, what's the deal with John? And he's like that.

1:03:06🔗 Adam Well, I'm asking you, what about his job?

1:03:09🔗 Caller He just hasn't showed up.

1:03:10🔗 Adam I know, do you think he's quit his job?

1:03:13🔗 Caller That's what II don't know if he quit his job or if he just...

1:03:15🔗 Adam Okay, remember I said that ten minutes ago and you went, no, he just... Yeah, so maybe what's the boss say?

1:03:22🔗 Caller Well, the bosses don't like him very much to begin with.

1:03:24🔗 Adam Why? I see.

1:03:25🔗 Caller Why?

1:03:26🔗 Caller Because he's kind of a punk.

1:03:28🔗 Adam I see. Oh, troublemaker. A bad boy, right?

1:03:32🔗 Caller Not, not that much.

1:03:34🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:03:34🔗 Drew Why don't they like him, then?

1:03:36🔗 Caller Because he's kind of lazy.

1:03:38🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. He's over there napping in the bold department again, huh?

1:03:42🔗 Drew Well, so him...

1:03:43🔗 Caller He's a 17-year-old kid. What do you expect?

1:03:45🔗 Drew So him being irresponsible about reporting to work would not be out of character for him at all.

1:03:49🔗 Adam No. All right. Give him a call at home, see where he's at.

1:03:52🔗 Drew She's making the case like, do you think he's dead? Do you think he's murdered? Yeah, that's a...

1:03:57🔗 Adam All right. Don't care. Don't care. This is turning into some sort of a Tiger Beat helpline all of a sudden.

1:04:03🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up?

1:04:04🔗 Adam You're 21?

1:04:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:05🔗 Adam What's up?

1:04:06🔗 Caller My question is, I've been with my husband for four years. I've been married with him for a year, and I've never had an orgasm with him, or anyone else for that matter.

1:04:17🔗 Adam We got going on in the background there. Sonar?

1:04:19🔗 Caller No.

1:04:19🔗 Adam What is that machine?

1:04:20🔗 Drew She's in a submarine.

1:04:21🔗 Hold on.

1:04:22🔗 Adam What is that?

1:04:23🔗 Drew It's a submarine.

1:04:24🔗 Adam No. What is that? What's going on over there?

1:04:26🔗 Caller I don't know. It's my phone or something.

1:04:28🔗 Adam I see. Boy. Boy, what is going on in this country? What's the deal? You've been married for a year. You've dated the guy for four years, and what's up? You're not into him?

1:04:38🔗 Caller No. I've never had an orgasm with him or anybody else.

1:04:42🔗 Adam Have you been faking an orgasm?

1:04:44🔗 Caller For the first year, I was.

1:04:45🔗 Adam I see. And later, he had someone else fake it for you?

1:04:48🔗 No.

1:04:49🔗 Adam You stopped faking?

1:04:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:04:51🔗 Adam And he doesn't seem to be bothered by that?

1:04:54🔗 Caller No. Well, it's gotten to the point where, you know, we're both 21 years old, and he's just more interested for itself and not me anymore.

1:05:03🔗 Adam I picture a flying saucer hovering above your head. Is that what that is?

1:05:08🔗 Caller No.

1:05:08🔗 Adam All right. How about some oral sex? Does that give you an orgasm?

1:05:12🔗 Caller No.

1:05:13🔗 Drew You've tried that?

1:05:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:14🔗 Adam Is he good at that? Well, you wouldn't know.

1:05:16🔗 Caller I wouldn't know.

1:05:17🔗 Adam Are you able to have one on your own?

1:05:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:20🔗 Adam How do you do that? Bathtub?

1:05:22🔗 Caller No. I have a vibrator.

1:05:24🔗 Adam I see. Why don't you bring that into the bedroom? I know it's already...

1:05:28🔗 Caller Yeah, we've done that, but I want to, you know, I want to be able to have one with him.

1:05:33🔗 Adam Yeah. Have it with him and the vibrator at the same time.

1:05:37🔗 Drew It's unrealistic to think that it's going to happen any other way.

1:05:41🔗 Adam Get going. Put that... What do you do? Put on your clitoris?

1:05:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:45🔗 Adam Or as my grandmother would say, clitoris, and correct me. That's a great conversation to have with the grandmother. It's clitoris.

1:05:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:54🔗 Adam Yeah, do that and then just sort of get used to having an orgasm with him in the room.

1:05:59🔗 Caller So you don't think there's like anything wrong with me?

1:06:01🔗 Adam No, you're 21. That's all right. It takes the vagina a little while to break in.

1:06:06🔗 Drew You're able to have them at all. That's ahead of the curve a little bit.

1:06:08🔗 Adam Yeah. I really think the vagina... The vagina is like 10 years behind the woman's chronological age. At 21, it's 11, at 31, it's 21.

1:06:21🔗 Drew It's almost like the brain wiring needs to...

1:06:23🔗 Adam And when you die, it lives for another 10 years. Very eerie.

1:06:25🔗 Drew That's nice.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Oh, yeah?

1:06:27🔗 Drew But it's almost like the brain wiring needs to be sort of established. The circuitry needs to be set up and established.

1:06:32🔗 Adam For women?

1:06:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:06:33🔗 Adam Yeah. For men, I'll tell you, for men, it is a hardwired plumbing process that is in place.

1:06:41🔗 Drew Period.

1:06:42🔗 Adam Here's, you want to have an orgasm as a man? Live to 14. Guys, if you cannot, you know, not buy it on your moped at 12 and a half, you're going to have an orgasm.

1:06:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:06:55🔗 Adam Women, it's like saying for a woman, it's like setting a computer up, but no one ever plugs into a modem or plugs into a phone line or comes in there and puts, you know, feeds the software into it.

1:07:10🔗 Drew Yeah, you got to put the software in.

1:07:11🔗 Adam So, every one of you has got a computer. It's just some people are up and running and others aren't. What's it going to take? About as much time as it takes to set up the computer. But you got to have someone who knows what they're doing. You got to put a little time into it. You got to work it out. You don't do that. You'll have a computer on your desk gathering dust like mine is forever. And it's the same thing. Whereas men, it's more like a weed out in the yard.

1:07:37🔗 Drew That's what kills you.

1:07:38🔗 Adam It's going to grow.

1:07:39🔗 Drew This wives' tale that women are taught not to masturbate. You listen, you can hit men with a rubber hose. They're going to go ahead and masturbate. No matter what you do.

1:07:50🔗 Adam A lot of them will go, my friends go faster if you hit them with a rubber hose.

1:07:52🔗 Drew The point is, I mean, you weird.

1:07:54🔗 Adam Go baby, go with that rubber hose.

1:07:56🔗 Drew Parents, society, we're trying to contain that behavior in men all the time. Get your hands off that. Women, it's just not addressed. They're not going that direction.

1:08:04🔗 Adam Well, she got the vibrator, so she's moving that direction in some degree.

1:08:07🔗 Drew But you know what I mean in terms of how children are raised and that sort of things? Please.

1:08:11🔗 Adam That's right.

1:08:12🔗 Drew All right.

1:08:12🔗 Adam Drew, he thinks about his girl mastermind. She never will, don't you worry. David?

1:08:16🔗 Caller Yes.

1:08:17🔗 Adam You're 22.

1:08:17🔗 Caller I am.

1:08:18🔗 Adam What's up?

1:08:19🔗 Caller How's it going, guys?

1:08:20🔗 Adam Great.

1:08:20🔗 Caller My question is mainly directed towards Dr. Drew. I'm a stripper and I was curious if males have the same predispositions that drive them towards that career choice.

1:08:31🔗 Adam No.

1:08:32🔗 Drew No, it's a little different.

1:08:33🔗 Caller It is different.

1:08:33🔗 Drew Yeah. Some of the same stuff can, but it tends to be more diverse and different. Much more about the addictive process. There's much more of that going on.

1:08:42🔗 Adam What kind of place do you work at?

1:08:44🔗 Caller As far as what? Like straight? I'm straight.

1:08:49🔗 Adam No.

1:08:50🔗 Drew What kind of place?

1:08:53🔗 Caller Like a strip club.

1:08:54🔗 Adam I say, hold on, a pen, pencil, and a hentrum?

1:08:56🔗 Drew They just keep accumulating those notes on the same page.

1:09:00🔗 Adam What I'm saying is, do you work at a Chippendales type place, or do you go to bachelorette parties?

1:09:08🔗 Caller It's like a Chippendales private establishment.

1:09:11🔗 Adam What's that mean, private establishment?

1:09:13🔗 Caller It's like owned by a private owner. It's just like a female club that you go to in Las Vegas.

1:09:19🔗 Adam Right. Where is it?

1:09:20🔗 Caller It's in Windsor.

1:09:22🔗 Adam Windsor, beautiful country out there.

1:09:24🔗 Drew Windsor, what state? What state?

1:09:26🔗 Caller It's in Canada.

1:09:28🔗 Adam I see.

1:09:28🔗 Caller I'm from Detroit.

1:09:29🔗 Adam I see. And how crowded is that place? Ladies come in every night?

1:09:33🔗 Caller On a weekend like 700, 800.

1:09:35🔗 Adam Really? And they go crazy, those chicks?

1:09:37🔗 Caller They go crazy.

1:09:39🔗 Adam What's your theme? What's your profession when you hit the stage?

1:09:42🔗 Caller I don't really get like a, what would you call it?

1:09:46🔗 Adam Persona?

1:09:47🔗 Caller Just myself.

1:09:48🔗 Drew You're just stripper. Maybe he's a dancer.

1:09:50🔗 Adam What do you come out in?

1:09:52🔗 Caller I come out in club clothes, whatever, just take it off.

1:09:55🔗 Adam I see.

1:09:56🔗 Caller I do a shower show.

1:09:57🔗 Adam You do a shower show.

1:09:59🔗 Drew What does that mean?

1:10:00🔗 Adam They stick dollar bills to your ass?

1:10:02🔗 Caller They put them in their mouth.

1:10:03🔗 Adam I see. And stick them to your ass?

1:10:05🔗 Caller No, they don't stick them to my ass.

1:10:06🔗 Adam What do they do with them? From their mouth to where?

1:10:08🔗 Caller They just put them in their mouth. They come out and take it out.

1:10:11🔗 Adam With what?

1:10:11🔗 Caller With my mouth.

1:10:12🔗 Adam Beautiful. And what are you down to? G-string?

1:10:17🔗 Caller No, fully nude.

1:10:19🔗 Adam Fully nude?

1:10:19🔗 Caller Yep.

1:10:20🔗 Drew Canada.

1:10:21🔗 Adam Fully nude male show. And do you chub up a little before you hit stage?

1:10:25🔗 Caller Oh yeah, we tie off.

1:10:27🔗 Adam Hey, how do you do that?

1:10:27🔗 Drew Tie off?

1:10:29🔗 Adam How's that work?

1:10:30🔗 Caller With the rubber band.

1:10:31🔗 Adam Yeah?

1:10:32🔗 Caller Yeah. That's actually another point I want to get to. I want to ask Drew, I don't know how healthy that is.

1:10:37🔗 Adam Well, you do it for a few years. You'd be fine when your dork falls off in your 28. But wait a minute, you get a little blood circulating. So backstage, what are you doing, whacking off?

1:10:46🔗 Caller Yep.

1:10:48🔗 Adam And then once you get a little blood, but not a full blown boner, right?

1:10:53🔗 Caller You get a full blown.

1:10:55🔗 Adam You get a full blown boner.

1:10:56🔗 Caller Yeah, and then you tie it off.

1:10:57🔗 Adam And you tie it off.

1:10:58🔗 Caller So the blood can't come back in.

1:11:00🔗 Adam Right, I'm hip to that. And then you take that boner and you stuff it into your chaps or whatever you're wearing.

1:11:05🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:11:06🔗 Adam And then you go out and you dance. And when you get naked, there's the boner.

1:11:10🔗 Caller There it is.

1:11:11🔗 Adam And it's fully wrecked, sticking straight out.

1:11:14🔗 Caller Straight out.

1:11:15🔗 Adam I would find that a little disconcerting. I really would. Are there any guys coming to the show?

1:11:21🔗 Caller No, not at all.

1:11:22🔗 Adam Why not? Why won't gay guys go to the show?

1:11:25🔗 Caller They're not allowed in the club unless they're with women.

1:11:27🔗 Adam Nice. Good policy.

1:11:28🔗 Caller It is.

1:11:29🔗 Adam What kind of money can you make on a Saturday night?

1:11:32🔗 Caller Right now it's slow, man. It's Christmas coming around. But in the summer, I mean, on a Saturday night, I'll make at least $600.

1:11:37🔗 Adam I see. And you're out there dancing with a full erection.

1:11:41🔗 Caller Not a fast. It's not a fast song. It's a little sexy.

1:11:45🔗 Adam Sure. You're doing Hell Is For Children by Pat Benatar?

1:11:49🔗 Caller No. Jewel.

1:11:49🔗 Adam No. And so you're just doing Seasons in the Sun. And you're just dancing around with that erection.

1:11:58🔗 Caller That's right.

1:11:58🔗 Adam And then it's over to the shower.

1:12:00🔗 Caller Then it's over.

1:12:01🔗 Adam Now do women grab for your junk?

1:12:03🔗 Caller No, they're not allowed.

1:12:04🔗 Adam But do they ever try?

1:12:05🔗 Caller If they do, they get kicked out.

1:12:07🔗 Adam Who are the, what's the craziest nationality that comes in there?

1:12:10🔗 Caller Craziest nationality? Man, I tell you, they're all crazy.

1:12:13🔗 Adam Really? The women go nuts?

1:12:14🔗 Caller Across the board, yeah, they're crazy.

1:12:16🔗 Adam You ever see, you ever seen the really hot chicks in the audience?

1:12:19🔗 Caller You get them all. You get the fat ones, the ugly ones, the hot ones.

1:12:23🔗 Adam Right. You get the fat ones, you get the ugly ones, you get the husky ones, you get the homely ones, you get them all. You get the toothless ones, you get the big-ass ones, and the super big-ass ones. You get them all. But do you ever get any hot chicks?

1:12:35🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:12:35🔗 Adam For sure.

1:12:36🔗 Caller Strippers come in there all the time.

1:12:38🔗 Adam Do you ever get any sex?

1:12:40🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. I mean, it comes along.

1:12:42🔗 Adam Right.

1:12:42🔗 Caller That's the thing I found myself analyzing myself. Like, I hear when you guys talk to female strippers, and I always try to apply that to my life, and I wonder if anything's happened in my past that drove me towards this.

1:12:53🔗 Adam Now, just $600 when you'd normally be swinging a hammer or digging a ditch for $600 a month.

1:12:59🔗 Drew Well, again, there can be sexual compulsivity as a part of this, and so various kinds of abuse, childhood do move people in this direction.

1:13:06🔗 Adam How big's your Johnson?

1:13:09🔗 Caller It's about eight.

1:13:10🔗 Adam About eight, nice. You swing that around?

1:13:12🔗 Caller Yep.

1:13:13🔗 Adam You do that helicopter move?

1:13:14🔗 Caller Nah, we don't do that kind of stuff.

1:13:17🔗 Adam You don't swing it around? You got an erection out there.

1:13:19🔗 Caller No, when it's stiff, you can't be doing that.

1:13:21🔗 Adam Yeah, you can get a little swing going.

1:13:23🔗 I don't know.

1:13:24🔗 Adam Hey, next time you hit the stage, first off, do my move.

1:13:28🔗 Caller What's your move?

1:13:28🔗 Adam Why, start with the robot.

1:13:30🔗 Caller The robot.

1:13:31🔗 Adam Okay, start with the robot, and then that goes into like a few kind of Elvis-type kung-fu maneuvers, a couple high kicks. Show them what's under your balls. That's what they paid for. A couple of high kicks and karate chops, and then you do the puppet move. The marionette move with your penis?

1:13:47🔗 Caller I never heard that move.

1:13:48🔗 Adam Okay, your penis is sticking straight out with the erection, right? You take your right hand, you put it about 18 inches, two feet above the penis, and you hold your hand open, but your fingers close, as if you're holding the strings of a marionette, right? Then you lift your hand a little bit, and simultaneously, you pop your penis a little, and it's as if there's a piece of fishing string on it.

1:14:07🔗 Caller You know what? Actually, there's a guy at the club that does that.

1:14:09🔗 Adam Yeah. He's stealing my rap, man.

1:14:12🔗 Caller He's jacking your style.

1:14:13🔗 Adam Yeah. You tell that son of a bitch that the dick puppet move, that's my move, man. He's got to do that in Canada, and then bring it over here in the States like he invented it. I've been doing that ass since 81. Please. All right. We'll take a break.

1:14:32🔗 Caller Love Line will be right back, so get your problems ready. Hey, monkey boy, you're listening to Love Line right here.

1:14:37🔗 Caller 947 and OK, the new rock alternative. Get out your nebulizer.

1:14:42🔗 Caller OK, terrific.

1:15:05🔗 Adam Hey, Love Line, I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there, front of 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Who's coming in here? Mark McGrath tomorrow night from Sugar Ray?

1:15:18🔗 Drew You didn't do any Minka to help people understand what they're in for.

1:15:22🔗 Adam I'm going to build into my Minka. I'll do it a little tomorrow. Just understand this could be one of the best shows of the year.

1:15:30🔗 Drew Or not.

1:15:32🔗 Adam No, no, it's going to be good. And people will not accuse me of over dramatizing Minka when Minka comes on the air. She's number one Asian big boob queen, you know. She's not interested in the money. Not here for the money. You put me on Man Show. I know Minka, I called you. I know you. Why you don't put me on Man Show? We called your agent. We couldn't get on. I know because I have a language barrier. Well, I know what I'm saying. I called you to put you on the Man Show. I want to do a bit with you.

1:16:02🔗 Caller Yeah, I know. Why don't I?

1:16:03🔗 Adam Why don't I?

1:16:04🔗 Caller Why don't I?

1:16:04🔗 Adam Man Show. You're not on the Man Show because we called you and your agent didn't call us back. I know. I can't do that. I have my English barrier. Okay. You want to start this one over or keep going here? Well, why don't you put me on TV? It's a weird foreign thing. I don't know what it is. I get guys that way. I got like my barber Oscar.

1:16:27🔗 Caller Volvo.

1:16:30🔗 Adam The guy pronounces Volvo, Bobo and then in the next breath, that pronounces Saab. Saab. I think of these wild ideas. You should put me on TV and make me on your show.

1:16:42🔗 Drew A lot of people do that.

1:16:43🔗 Adam You're like, what do you want to do? Oh, I don't know. You put me on. I'm funny. It's like, yeah, what is it?

1:16:52🔗 Caller What do you want to do?

1:16:56🔗 Adam Minka. You put me on. Yeah. What do you got any ideas? No, you tell me.

1:17:02🔗 Caller I put me on.

1:17:03🔗 Adam How come you don't call? I call you. I know. I've got a language barrier. Well, listen, if you can understand them telling you they have a language barrier, how bad can the language barrier be?

1:17:15🔗 Drew And after all, how much verbal skill do you need to jump on a trampoline?

1:17:19🔗 Adam How dare you, Drew?

1:17:21🔗 Drew Women are smart. No, no, nothing against the ones that are there.

1:17:23🔗 Adam I see.

1:17:25🔗 Drew They are after, they have become the show, by the way. It is their show. You should be paying great homage to their skill. How dare you, a third time.

1:17:34🔗 Adam Kyle?

1:17:35🔗 Yeah, hi.

1:17:36🔗 Adam You're 14.

1:17:37🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. I've been having these dreams lately. I've had them before. I'm at my best friend's house and he lives with his uncle because his parents were killed in a car accident. And I just have these dreams that he would take me in this bathroom and just show me parts of him and touch me. Yeah.

1:17:59🔗 Drew Those are dreams or those are sort of memories?

1:18:02🔗 Caller Dreams.

1:18:03🔗 Adam Well, that's a dream.

1:18:04🔗 Drew That ever happen?

1:18:06🔗 Caller Not that I know of. There you go.

1:18:09🔗 Drew Don't worry about it.

1:18:11🔗 Adam I have all kinds of bizarre dreams. Don't pay attention to any of them. Josh?

1:18:17🔗 Yeah.

1:18:17🔗 Adam It was Adam? Yeah.

1:18:19🔗 Oh man. Long time listener, second time caller. You are such an idol to me. Oh my God. All right. Here's the story, okay?

1:18:27🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:18:27🔗 Thank you. Oh, it's a good thing you're a millionaire because that's the only reason I look up to you, man. Yeah.

1:18:32🔗 Adam Literally.

1:18:33🔗 Literally.

1:18:34🔗 All right. Here's the problem, okay? Well, not really a problem, but I just wanted to say how great you are, Adam. And let me just say a little while ago, I lost my virginity. I'm 16 right now.

1:18:48🔗 Adam Fantastic.

1:18:49🔗 And what happened was the next day, you know, actually that night, she's like, well, did you come? And I said, yeah, I did. She said, well, I don't want to get pregnant. I said, well, yeah, I understand that. You should have told me that. But anyway, anyway, I was a responsible kid. And within the 72 hours, I went to that Planned Parenthood.

1:19:08🔗 Drew Right on.

1:19:08🔗 In California. Yeah. And thank you.

1:19:11🔗 Drew You got the morning after pill? Yes. Fabulous.

1:19:14🔗 It was so simple. I want to just give a message to everyone who's listening. I felt no guilt. We're in and out of there within two hours. And they gave us everything we needed. They gave us condoms and I bless Planned Parenthood.

1:19:28🔗 Drew But Josh needs to be the poster child for the morning. I feel anything.

1:19:31🔗 Adam What do you mean?

1:19:32🔗 Drew Well, just, you know, use Josh as some sort of marketing tool to promote the morning after pill.

1:19:36🔗 Adam He sounded like a decent enough guy to me. He sounded like he was ready for fatherhood. Now, listen, everyone go into that. Don't have any kids you don't want, please. Don't even have the ones you do want. Go into that Planned Parenthood or whatever.

1:19:50🔗 Drew Call your dog. You can get these morning after pills. They are not abortion pills.

1:19:53🔗 Adam No, even if they were, that'd be better.

1:19:56🔗 Drew But they're not.

1:19:57🔗 Adam Miguel?

1:19:58🔗 Yeah.

1:19:59🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:20:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:02🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:20:02🔗 Drew What's up?

1:20:03🔗 Caller Well, I just want to know how I can make my voice deeper.

1:20:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:07🔗 Adam You got to grab your nuts when you talk.

1:20:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:11🔗 Caller Right.

1:20:11🔗 Caller It doesn't work.

1:20:12🔗 Drew Oh, it doesn't work. That's not something you get to choose, the pitch of your voice.

1:20:17🔗 Adam No. What? You're 20 years old.

1:20:20🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:20🔗 Drew You normally develop? Normal height, normal body hair?

1:20:23🔗 Caller Yep.

1:20:24🔗 Adam How tall are you?

1:20:26🔗 Caller 5'4.

1:20:27🔗 Adam Okay. You're Mexican?

1:20:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:29🔗 Adam So you're giant. I see. And 5'4 is a little small.

1:20:34🔗 Drew Yeah. Do you have normal body hair?

1:20:36🔗 Caller Yep.

1:20:37🔗 Adam Wait a minute. Mexicans don't have body hair on them. Do you have body hair around your junk?

1:20:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:42🔗 Drew Under your arms?

1:20:44🔗 Caller Yep.

1:20:44🔗 Adam Under your nuts?

1:20:46🔗 Caller Yep.

1:20:46🔗 Adam How about your anus?

1:20:49🔗 Drew How old were you when you had puberty?

1:20:53🔗 Caller I don't remember. Like 14, 15.

1:20:56🔗 Adam How's the sperm going?

1:20:58🔗 Caller Good, I guess.

1:21:00🔗 Drew Yeah. What does that mean?

1:21:01🔗 Adam Are you masturbating?

1:21:02🔗 Caller Nope.

1:21:03🔗 Adam Why not?

1:21:03🔗 Drew You're gay. I have a feeling this is delayed puberty, that he's not really done with his-

1:21:08🔗 Adam Have you ever masturbated before?

1:21:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:21:11🔗 Adam When?

1:21:13🔗 Caller Like four years ago.

1:21:15🔗 Adam No.

1:21:17🔗 Caller Yeah. No, but I'm saying like that was the first time, but then you might do it often.

1:21:22🔗 Adam How often?

1:21:24🔗 Caller It's not my thing.

1:21:24🔗 Drew I don't do it.

1:21:25🔗 Adam How dare you? You're lucky you're not in the room. Take a swing at you. Probably go right over your head. How dare you say that masturbation is not your thing in front of me of all people. Now.

1:21:39🔗 Caller Well, I have my girlfriend, you know.

1:21:40🔗 Adam Yeah, it's not the same thing.

1:21:43🔗 Drew How often with your girlfriend?

1:21:44🔗 Adam It's good, but it's not the real thing.

1:21:45🔗 Drew How often with your girlfriend?

1:21:47🔗 Caller Good.

1:21:47🔗 Drew How often are you with her?

1:21:49🔗 Caller What do you mean?

1:21:49🔗 Drew Sexually.

1:21:51🔗 Adam How often do you pump her?

1:21:53🔗 Caller Like once a week.

1:21:55🔗 Adam Once a week. I see.

1:21:57🔗 Drew Are people in your family, your siblings or your parents, about your height? Are you small?

1:22:03🔗 Caller No, I'm small compared to my dad.

1:22:05🔗 Drew You might want to go see a doctor and have your testosterone levels checked, this sort of thing, to make sure that everything is normal. Your testes are normally developed. I mean, you can feel a testy in the sac there when you...

1:22:14🔗 Caller Well, yeah. And actually, I did go to the doctor and they told me that testosterone levels are normal.

1:22:21🔗 Adam Listen, you want to lower your voice? They start smoking. Okay.

1:22:26🔗 Caller I do that. It doesn't work.

1:22:27🔗 Adam They smoke. We'll smoke more.

1:22:29🔗 Drew No, my God.

1:22:30🔗 Adam Smoke two cigarettes at a time and a tip-a-rillo. And they start drinking, too. Guys that smoke and drink have very low voices.

1:22:39🔗 Caller All right?

1:22:39🔗 Adam And eat sand. I don't know. Listen, Miguel, you got a girlfriend, right?

1:22:46🔗 Caller Can I get some smart advice from...

1:22:48🔗 Adam No. There's no advice. There's nothing to do here.

1:22:52🔗 Drew There really isn't.

1:22:52🔗 Adam How about you physically... Let me ask you something, Miguel. You ever watch pro wrestling?

1:22:59🔗 Caller Not often.

1:23:00🔗 Adam Okay. But you're familiar with wrestling?

1:23:03🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:03🔗 Adam Okay. You know how those guys go... You know how they do that voice?

1:23:09🔗 Caller No, I don't know what voice.

1:23:10🔗 Drew What was the guy's name?

1:23:11🔗 Adam Randy?

1:23:11🔗 Caller He's in the missionary position.

1:23:12🔗 Drew There he is.

1:23:13🔗 Adam There you go. Randy the Monster Man? You understand pro wrestlers kind of put a voice on?

1:23:17🔗 Caller Running wild!

1:23:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:20🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:23:20🔗 Caller Well, I'm not going to do that 24-7.

1:23:22🔗 Adam No, not 24-7, but how about you just start tweaking it just a little bit? You know what I mean?

1:23:28🔗 Drew That's true. You could get some vocal training.

1:23:30🔗 Adam You can tweak it a little bit.

1:23:31🔗 Drew Well, there's ways to use chest tones.

1:23:33🔗 Adam Hold on a second. People come here from Parts Unknown and they get rid of their twang. People do change the tone of their voice. How about you just go in and get a little bit of that in there?

1:23:45🔗 Caller And that won't hurt my vocal cords?

1:23:46🔗 Adam No, no. Let's try it now. Let's try it now. All right.

1:23:50🔗 Caller All right. What do I want to say?

1:23:52🔗 Adam Say let's say the the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, but in a new wrestling type voice.

1:24:01🔗 Caller The rain in Spain falls. What?

1:24:04🔗 Adam OK.

1:24:05🔗 Drew Forget it.

1:24:05🔗 Adam Scratch it.

1:24:06🔗 Drew No.

1:24:06🔗 Adam Now have a little something in between. You know what I mean? Like like instead of going down at the Pontiac, put some chest into a chest down low.

1:24:19🔗 Caller How dare you, Drew?

1:24:20🔗 Drew That's a little better.

1:24:23🔗 Adam Sounds like Lucille Ball when she'd paint on a mustache.

1:24:26🔗 Drew She does.

1:24:27🔗 Adam Try to do a guy. OK. That's not going to work.

1:24:30🔗 Drew That's better.

1:24:32🔗 Adam It's just attitude. Think about think about nails and gravel when you talk. Lower yourself a little bit. You know what I mean?

1:24:40🔗 Drew Nails and gravel.

1:24:41🔗 Adam Well, you know when you're you know when some guy like put it this way, some guy cuts you off and you yell something out and out of your car window.

1:24:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:24:47🔗 Adam Who's that voice? I'm going to bury you, man. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's how you normally talk. That's scary.

1:24:57🔗 Drew No. OK, sorry.

1:24:58🔗 Adam We're going to take a little break. We'll be back after this.

1:25:03🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:25:05🔗 Caller Right now, you're enjoying Loveline On.

1:25:07🔗 Caller 94.7 at RK.

1:25:09🔗 Caller We'll do our alternative.

1:25:10🔗 Caller Well, hell yeah.

1:25:11🔗 Caller Carefully, sorry, pocket.

1:25:12🔗 Caller Not at all, I'm sure.

1:25:25🔗 Caller I'm glad you're here.

1:25:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Mark McGrath in here tomorrow night from Sugar Ray. Always a good guy, always a good show. He'll do plenty talking, don't worry about that. Then the fabulous Minka Wednesday night is going to come in here. Fantabulous. All right, let's speak to Sam. Sam is 16. Sam?

1:26:01🔗 Caller Hello.

1:26:02🔗 Adam Yeah. He shaved all your pubic area?

1:26:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:04🔗 Drew Nice.

1:26:05🔗 Caller Why?

1:26:06🔗 Well, I don't know. It was really hairy and I wanted to get rid of it all.

1:26:10🔗 Adam Yeah, make a move. Yeah. How about a nice trim?

1:26:14🔗 I just tried that.

1:26:15🔗 It's just, I don't know.

1:26:16🔗 Adam I see. It's messy. I shaved my junk when I was like 17. I figured this is it. I'm going to get laid now. Exactly. You know how it is? Well, what I mean is like, you know, when you get a big zit, you go to the market, you're running some chick you're into.

1:26:31🔗 Drew Oh, I see.

1:26:32🔗 Adam So, do that kind of strategy.

1:26:33🔗 Drew I see.

1:26:34🔗 Adam I shaved my junk. You have some chick trying to get at it this weekend at a party. And it's going to be weird because the junk is shaved, but it's going to be worth it to get her at my junk. But then I thought, because you thought that, now you've spoiled it. It's ruined now. Then I tried not to think about it. It's too late. Jinx. Then I became obsessed over my shaved junk. Sam? Yeah. Yeah. So, you just let it grow back, buddy.

1:27:00🔗 But what about this rash?

1:27:02🔗 I mean, it's like really bad.

1:27:03🔗 And this girl that I'm going to be getting with is like a senior.

1:27:07🔗 Adam See what happens when you shave your junk? You nail the senior.

1:27:10🔗 Drew How long ago did you shave?

1:27:11🔗 Caller It was like probably like last weekend.

1:27:14🔗 Adam No, it'll grow back in nine months.

1:27:16🔗 Drew Try some Cortade. It's usually like a folliculitis or a shaving burn.

1:27:21🔗 Adam Yeah. And now with one millionth of one percent cortisone, you want the one hundred thousandth of one percent. You have to go over the counter with it. You know what I'm saying?

1:27:31🔗 Drew Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah.

1:27:32🔗 Adam You got to get a doctor for that because Lord knows he gives you something with some steroid cream in it that's one percent. You brush your teeth with it. You kill yourself. Liz?

1:27:43🔗 Drew I don't know if she's.

1:27:45🔗 Adam What are we doing? Listening to me?

1:27:47🔗 Drew Yeah, six seconds.

1:27:48🔗 Adam I don't mind that.

1:27:49🔗 Drew Liz?

1:27:50🔗 Caller Yes.

1:27:51🔗 Drew There we are.

1:27:51🔗 Adam Turn your radio down, goofball.

1:27:54🔗 Caller Down.

1:27:55🔗 Adam You had an abortion shot?

1:27:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:57🔗 Adam What's that?

1:27:58🔗 Caller Well, instead of doing like the medical, I mean, the surgical thing, you know, where they the normal one, they gave me a shot in my butt and then I think like maybe 12 hours later, I inserted these little pills, like six pills into, around my uterus, and then about 12 hours after that, basically just induces, you know, contractions.

1:28:27🔗 Adam How did you get the pills up there?

1:28:31🔗 Caller I went to a clinic.

1:28:32🔗 Drew Where are you calling from?

1:28:33🔗 Adam You said you inserted them.

1:28:35🔗 Caller Yeah, I did. You have a choice of either having the practitioner do it for you or you can do it yourself.

1:28:40🔗 Drew This was the methotrexate was the shot?

1:28:43🔗 Caller I think so, yeah.

1:28:44🔗 Drew Yeah, so this is the methotrexate.

1:28:46🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:46🔗 Drew It's interesting they're starting to do this again because now that the RU-486 has been approved.

1:28:50🔗 Adam Now that's all right. What's the difference between this and RU-486?

1:28:53🔗 Drew It's just different.

1:28:54🔗 Adam Sounds like a part of the pun, bigger pain in the ass.

1:28:57🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah, it is a more toxic medicine and stuff.

1:28:59🔗 Adam Why can't we just take the RU-486 now that it's out? They didn't have that? All right, Liz, so how far up do you have to put them pills?

1:29:09🔗 Caller I just kind of just put them up there like I was inserting a tampon.

1:29:12🔗 Drew What's your question?

1:29:13🔗 Adam Nice.

1:29:14🔗 Caller Well, I had it about a month and a half ago and I bled really heavily for maybe like the first two days, three days and then I was light bleeding, but I haven't really stopped and now I'm bleeding really heavily again.

1:29:29🔗 Drew Any pain?

1:29:31🔗 Caller Sorry?

1:29:31🔗 Drew Any pelvic pain?

1:29:32🔗 Caller No, not at all.

1:29:33🔗 Drew You need to get back there. There's a couple of things. One is, I've certainly heard with RU-46, persistent bleeding is not uncommon. I'm not that familiar with this mechanism, this intervention, and it would make sense to me there could be some persistent bleeding, but the risk is that there is some retained products of conception, something that needs to be sort of scraped out perhaps, or that went right down my shirt sleeve.

1:29:56🔗 Adam Really? That one went right in your coffee. I'm throwing kernels at Drew. One in the shirt sleeve, one in the coffee, not bad.

1:30:06🔗 Drew If there is still some retained products of conception, they can get infected, and bleeding can be bad.

1:30:10🔗 Adam I like this move as a doctor though. It's like, hey, we could force these pills up your coozer, you can do it on your own time. I like that. I'm going to do that with my prostate. Oh, have this Indian guy in a white coat, put his finger up your ass, or you do it yourself. Tell us what you feel. What do you think though, Drew? You ready to go? Jennifer?

1:30:32🔗 Yeah.

1:30:32🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:30:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:35🔗 Adam You want to know why guys want girls to have an orgy?

1:30:41🔗 Caller They want to know why.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Turn your radio down. What is wrong with you people? Lauren, Lauren, start yelling at these people to turn their radio down. Would you please? I understand. That's Drew's fault. For Christ's sake. What are we running over here, Drew? Okay. She's doing a wonderful job at that radio.

1:31:04🔗 Drew Let's go here.

1:31:05🔗 Caller Okay. They want to know, or they have this vision of girls being with other girls. And I'm just wondering why they think that's supposedly cool or something.

1:31:15🔗 Drew Why are guys into lesbians is the question here, right?

1:31:18🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:31:18🔗 Drew Why do guys like lesbians?

1:31:20🔗 Adam Well, why does the sun rise?

1:31:22🔗 Drew Why do Adam's feet ticklish?

1:31:23🔗 Adam In the east and center and west. Why is it set in the east? Where does it go? Yeah. Why is the sky blue?

1:31:31🔗 Drew Why? Guys are into...

1:31:35🔗 Adam Why do people think Margaret Cho is funny? Why? I don't know.

1:31:39🔗 Drew Guys are into...

1:31:39🔗 Adam These are questions that can't be answered.

1:31:41🔗 Drew Guys are into quantity and it's not so much of an emotional experience to them. So for you, it doesn't make sense why they would want more people involved. For guys, it is often detached from emotional experience.

1:31:50🔗 Adam All right. Level 5, you sure?

1:31:54🔗 Drew That's been the longest I've had a hole.

1:31:55🔗 Adam All right. Amy? You're 20?

1:31:58🔗 Caller Yep.

1:31:59🔗 Adam When you have sex with your boyfriend, it hurts?

1:32:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:02🔗 Adam Yeah, you tried...

1:32:02🔗 Caller Well, like, it's a lot of soreness, like, for the next couple of days.

1:32:06🔗 Drew How long are you guys together?

1:32:08🔗 Caller About a month now.

1:32:09🔗 Drew No, no. I mean, how long do you do this thing?

1:32:11🔗 Caller Oh, I don't know. From the beginning to end, maybe like an hour, including foreplay and everything.

1:32:15🔗 Adam So what's he doing? He's throwing a curve off for the rest of us.

1:32:19🔗 Drew Too long.

1:32:20🔗 Caller Too long.

1:32:20🔗 Adam Shorten it up.

1:32:21🔗 Caller Shorten it up.

1:32:22🔗 Adam Yeah, shorten it up and shorten it up. That's all.

1:32:25🔗 Caller I mean, we've tried the whole KY thing and it doesn't help.

1:32:27🔗 Adam So you got to take it out of the tube.

1:32:28🔗 Drew Have you had a pelvic xanth? Make sure everything's okay.

1:32:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:31🔗 Drew All right. So it may just be some people are not.

1:32:35🔗 Adam What's he got between his legs? Can of corn?

1:32:38🔗 Caller No, it's not.

1:32:39🔗 Adam One of those dure flame logs.

1:32:42🔗 Caller It's a good size.

1:32:43🔗 Adam Yeah. A lube up, loosen up a couple of wine coolers.

1:32:47🔗 Drew Less, less.

1:32:48🔗 Adam I take a swig of the wine cooler, dump a little down there like a good chef.

1:32:53🔗 Drew Did you light it then?

1:32:54🔗 Adam Yeah, then I light. I flampe my vagina. All right, we'll take ourselves a little break. What do you say there, Jeroschka? Yeah. We'll be back after this.

1:33:03🔗 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:33:07🔗 Caller This evening presenting Love Line is the Cobalt Lounge and Car Toys right here on 94.7 NRK, the New Rock Alternative.

1:33:14🔗 Caller Crack is bad.

1:33:29🔗 Drew Hey, welcome back to Love Line. I'm Dr. Drew. Adam has flown the coop for the moment. Again, tomorrow night, Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray, looking forward to seeing him. And of course, on Wednesday will be Minka. I don't know what to think of that, but it will be interesting, nonetheless. And the poor Minka, no doubt, will be exploited by Mr. Corolla. Be that as it may. I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job screening tonight. Anderson, as always, for a terrific job. Apologize for my partner's abusive tendencies towards you, but I feel your pain. And of course, Anne, who will be in here tomorrow night, yes, and hopefully arrange our Acoustic Christmas tickets for us. And she shows up when we have a good-looking guest. Mark McGrath will be here, so Anne will be here. I get it. So that's nice. So until that time, and of course, Anne always does a great job and we look forward to seeing her tomorrow night. So until tomorrow night, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of Adam Corolla saying mahalo.

1:34:18🔗 Adam You can put me on TV show.

1:34:20🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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