6:40🔗
Voiceover
Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7, the buzz, KQBC Seattle. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.
7:07🔗
Voiceover
Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 3108-54-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. Tonight we're happy to have Carmen Electra as our guest. Thank you. Carmen was going to come in and she was not going to come in and then she came in anyway and God bless her because she's got to be up at 530 tomorrow morning, right?
7:58🔗
Adam
Nappy-headed guys don't get that same courtesy extended to us. Carmen is going over there to take a few meetings and march in the Gay Parade or something like that.
8:10🔗
Adam
She's going to wipe herself with the AIDS quilt and then come on back. Carmen is going to be out in the Gala Christmas issue of Playboy. This is something, by the way, I've not seen this. Is this out now?
8:24🔗
Adam
This is, I've graduated from a pornography standpoint. I've gone past Playboy, but I think I'm going to come back around again.
8:40🔗
Adam
No, no. You know what it is? You start off, if you're my age especially, you started off with what they had. And they didn't have a lot of really good, filthy, disgusting, provocative things. And then you work your way up, but then you find out, like in your early 20s, hey, they got stuff that's twice as nasty as Playboy, and you keep building. And then you get past, and then you get in the... I think it goes, it's the gangbang stuff, then it goes into the stump stuff, and then the snuff films, and then eventually, you want to get back in touch with your roots, and go back to the Playboy. I'm getting to that stage now.
9:15🔗
Adam
But the Christmas issue was always the best, because it always, every year, I remember in high school, when these things would come out, it would tell you what the bunnies were doing all year, different projects.
9:30🔗
Adam
Yeah, they still doing it. She was an extra on Saved by the Bell. They'd show like a still shot of her in the hallway behind Screech, you know? And Carmen is on the cover of this one, looking quite nice in the big Christmas ball, right?
9:49🔗
Adam
Where's the Playboy? Oh, there it is. It's on her right ankle there. I'm going to open this. I've not seen this yet. Drew, why don't you kill some time while you masturbate? Wow. Wow. That is great. You've done Playboy before, right?
10:43🔗
Adam
Yeah, super gay. I did gay porn in the late seventies. Oh, please. Got to turn that mic off during the commercials. So Drew, talk to Carmen while I look at her naked.
11:08🔗
Carmen Electra
Yeah, it's called the White Party and I guess everyone dresses in white and it's just to honor people that have passed away from AIDS. And there's a huge parade and...
11:19🔗
Carmen Electra
No, I actually, this is the first time. I do a lot for cancer because my mom passed away from cancer. So, usually during the Super Bowl every year, I walk in a fashion show to raise money for cancer. No, she had a brain tumor. Yeah, so it was devastating.
11:45🔗
I don't shut your mouth.
11:54🔗
Carmen Electra
Difficult. It's getting better, it's getting a lot better. I just put up this wall and I didn't want to face it. I would almost imagine that she was still in Cincinnati, Ohio, that she was still alive. And because I was not facing the pain that I had inside of me, I was just like, I had to have people around me all the time. And I just couldn't focus. I was just in this gray...
12:22🔗
Adam
Drew, don't you fantasize that your mother's in Ohio somewhere? Isn't that a fantasy of yours?
12:39🔗
Adam
Staying up, doing drugs, having sex. Well, not you, however, but you know, some people, some people.
12:45🔗
Adam
Well, what you're trying to do is you don't want to sit still long enough and have enough silence.
12:50🔗
Carmen Electra
Enough time to think about things because, and yeah, I feel like I couldn't deal. So, you know, I would just try to keep myself busy, stay around people, go out. And then I just one day realized that I need to spend time alone. And it was hard, you know, I cried a lot. And I just started writing and that really helped a lot. And so I'm doing much better. I'm just really focused on myself now.
13:11🔗
Adam
And Carmen, I don't want to alarm you, but you're getting close to the time when we're going to start dating. Just a little more crying and a little more alone time and a little more shutting down sexually. And it's time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, because you know, I catch women during the dormant period. They're out painting the town. They're having sex with everybody. They're partying every night. And then all of a sudden they start getting in touch with their feelings. They get more emotional. The legs close. They get more somber. They start writing. They light a candle. Then I swoop in. That's when I move in.
13:47🔗
Adam
And the great part is the story about, oh, listen, those days, those days of threesomes and all-nighters, long gone, but now here, open a book and let's put this druid robe on. Let's burn some incense. Streetlights have been on for an hour now. We're going to go to bed soon.
14:18🔗
Oh, really?
14:26🔗
Yeah.
14:32🔗
Adam
Yes, Mr. Panasonic. So have you been alone? I mean, have you been out of a relationship in your in your life for long periods of time ever?
14:41🔗
Carmen Electra
No. And that was a problem. You know, I would I mean, I would be in long relationships, usually, you know, like a four year relationship. But when things would get bad at the end of of that year, the fourth year, I would jump right into something else.
14:59🔗
Adam
So this is the first time you had a boyfriend, like, let's say, in high school. I mean, you may have had a boyfriend from the eighth grade till now. Right.
15:10🔗
Adam
Right. I mean, some people, my sister has successfully pulled that off. She had 15 minutes in 1984 when she didn't have a boyfriend. And she'd have long-term ones too, but it just go one to the next to the next.
15:24🔗
Carmen Electra
That's what it was, you know. It's not like I had a lot of boyfriends, but, you know, I'd be with, you know, that person from anywhere from two to four years, but then start a new one up right away.
15:42🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know. You did what a lot of girls do, not a lot, pardon me, all girls do, which is you're in that long-term relationship, and you start knowing it's going bad a little before the guy does. You get that inkling. It's like you're trading stock and you got an insider. You get some information.
16:02🔗
Adam
You get a tip on that stock before the stock starts dropping out. So you start selling off shares quietly, but you're selling them off and you put your feelers out, and you're looking to see what other things on the rise, and by the time the guy realizes the thing's over, you're on to something else. Not that you're necessarily with a guy that moment, although it's pretty close and oftentimes is.
16:27🔗
Adam
But you're done. You see, this is the thing that freaks, now here's where guys run into problems. So you're dating, let's say, Carmen and I, let's say we're on year number four.
16:37🔗
All right.
16:38🔗
Adam
Carmen, we've had sex 35,000 times now. Carmen is- Oh my God. Carmen, we're on year number four, and Carmen has had an ass full of me since-
16:52🔗
Adam
What I mean is, is she's done with me, and she's been done for six months. But I don't know it.
17:00🔗
Adam
I haven't accepted it. I'm not listening. I'm watching football. I'm going through the motions. Now Carmen says to me, it's over. It's- we're breaking up. I'm thinking, for me, I'm being blindsided. Four years, and now we're breaking. You just come to me one Thursday night and tell me we're breaking up? Yes, it's over with. So she goes away and I think to myself, all right, well, four years, she just stumbled onto this today. I'll call her tomorrow morning and talk her out of it. Meanwhile, she's done. She was done six months ago. She's in something else. Did you have guys try to rekindle something that was six months too late to rekindle?
17:37🔗
Adam
I know how you work. I'd be a great woman. I should be the spokesman for women. Women, I should say.
17:50🔗
Carmen Electra
I don't know. I think they would know, but I think that after so many years, you just really don't really truly believe that person's really going to leave.
17:59🔗
Carmen Electra
And then, you know, a lot of times, you know, like you're saying, your eyes open, you're kind of looking to see what's out there, and then you meet that, you know, that right person, and then you're out. It's pretty messed up, but, you know, it happens.
18:13🔗
Adam
And the reason you're out at that particular time, I mean, the reason it went on four months or five months instead of seven months or nine months is because you met somebody and you feel like you're not necessarily cheating, but you know what the other person is thinking and you feel like the time's right for a nice smooth transition. It's like you're at a place of employment, you don't like it that much, you've lined up another job, you're doing a couple of interviews.
18:35🔗
Drew
Here's the thing, the guys also get freaked out. Then they're like, can you believe it? It's been three days and she's already with another guy. Right, right. That's the guy's male perspective.
18:42🔗
Adam
I love that Peter Brady voice you got tonight, that one testy has descended, the other one hasn't dropped yet.
18:51🔗
Adam
Yeah, this has happened to me a few times in relationships where it's like, honey, we've been broken up for 19 hours. You got a boyfriend? Where did you meet this? Did you meet him on the way home from? No, I worked with the guy. I had something going on for four months. It just, I didn't do anything about it, but pow, now it's official. All right, but no more of that for you.
19:30🔗
Yeah. No.
19:41🔗
Adam
Yeah. Well, that's not dumped. That's humped. That's somebody while they're with you. Well, listen, here's the problem, Carmen. You run with it too fast a crowd. You know what I mean? These rock stars, these athletes.
20:04🔗
Adam
Listen, here are the guys who cheat. Why? Here are the guys who cheat. In this order. Restaurant tours. Number one, above athlete, above rock star. Guys who own restaurants cheat.
20:23🔗
Adam
Yes, they cheat while they're actually on the date. Not dating, but actually they go to another table and hump someone saying they have to make a phone call. Yeah. It is restaurant tours, athletes, rock stars, celebrities, movie, and then television, regular network. And then it goes to cable. And eventually we're going to get to me, Drew. And then it goes chef, and then radio personality. And then, surprisingly enough, horse trainer. Oh, yes, a lot of people are surprised that made the list of top ten cheating guys. All right, so Carmen, you're lying low, and you're helping to fix the AIDS quilt. How big is that AIDS quilt?
21:28🔗
Adam
They got the AIDS pillow. That sounds like a bad gig. That'd be one you might flip over. All right, we'll hop on the phones and talk to Kane, who's 16. Kane?
21:40🔗
Carmen Electra
Hey, what's going on? My question is more for Dr. Drew, but first I want to say, Carmen, you're the hottest chick on this planet.
21:55🔗
Carmen Electra
Hey, well, Drew, today me and my girlfriend were having sex, and when I pulled out, the condoms stayed in her. And I'm a little paranoid about her being pregnant.
22:13🔗
Hold on, let me get a pen.
22:19🔗
Drew
1-888-NOT-NUMBER-2-LATE. 1-888-NOT-TOO-LATE. Yeah? And they can refer you to a pharmacy or a doctor in the area. But listen, any doctor can give this to you, any emergency room. The sooner you get it after the contact, the more effective it tends to be.
22:33🔗
Carmen Electra
All right, and would it work if you just took like two of them? Like, would it work better?
22:47🔗
Adam
You know, I was talking... Hold on. Yes, thank you, Ken. I was talking to my buddy Zeb, who was with me at the Olympic Garden in Vegas when we ran into Minka, the number one Asian Big Boob queen, someone I'd been following for many years. Everyone has an idol, some, you know, Joe DiMaggio, perhaps. Maybe it's Louis Armstrong or...
23:20🔗
Yeah, I think I have.
23:29🔗
Adam
You know what's funny about me? I realize, I talk about porn to people like they talk about literature to me.
23:37🔗
Adam
Like they go... If you read For Whom the Bell Tolls, I'll go, huh? I'll go, Hemingway? And I'll go, what? I'll go, Ernest Hemingway? Have you read Hemingway? And I'll go, uh, I saw The Old Man in the Sea, part of it on Channel 13. You haven't read a Hemingway book? And they'll be like shocked. And I do the same thing. It's like, hold on, hold on. You don't know what Ron Jeremy is? No? And you don't know Randy Wesson? No. And Minka? No. Really? Like, I'm like laughing and looking around the table, except for I then realized later, I'm the one who looks like an idiot for being irate that somebody in their 30s doesn't know who Ron Jeremy is and getting outraged by it. You know Ron Jeremy is, I think. Okay, well, anyway, Minka is the number one Asian big boob queen. I talked to my buddy Zeb, who was at the place. He has her manager's card. So we're going to get her on the show.
24:31🔗
Adam
And he pointed out to me last night when I was talking to Zeb that Minka doesn't speak much English.
24:45🔗
Adam
It's good radio though. You know why men like me? Why Minka? Cause I have a big boob and I'm skinny. No other big boob queen is so skinny. I have thick skin. Yes, thick skin. My surgeon tell me my skin is thick. I hold more breast. I'm not interested in money. I don't need your money. I'm not here to get rich. I want to be on the man show. But I don't want your money. Put away your money. Okay, that'll be $50. I swear to Christ. $50 Minka, you don't want any money. What am I supposed to do with a compliment? Put that in gas tank? That don't give me home. I gotta pay rent. Wait till she comes in here. Drew, she will not disappoint you. She will put that bony knee right in your groin. That's her move. She puts that knee. It's like a cattle prod, right in the nuts. That's great. Yeah. Carmen, you really like Minka. You too. I could see you two hanging out.
25:53🔗
Adam
Yeah. Where are you dancin? Where can we see you dance somewhere? I don't mean dance around a pole. Hold on a second, Tiffany. I was talking to someone. I bring this up every time I see Carmen, but her video came out in 1994 or 1993, where she's dancing at strip club around the pole. It's like the hottest video I've ever seen in my life. I was sitting on my bad sectional sofa in, oh, there's Minka. Thank you.
26:29🔗
Adam
I was sitting on my bad sectional sofa in La Cañada, in the dump that I lived in in 1994, watching that video on MTV, Going Insane. I was like hypnotized by your beauty and your moves. Yeah, I mean, it's really one of the hottest videos I've ever seen.
26:56🔗
Carmen Electra
I've started taking dance classes again because I was just so busy with acting that I didn't really have time for it. But I just got a deal. We haven't quite closed the deal yet, but to do a Vegas show by the same people that did Cirque du Soleil, so it should be great. And then I'll get to dance every night.
27:20🔗
Yes?
27:23🔗
Caller
I was calling. I just got done having sex with my boyfriend a little bit ago. And my lips are very swollen and look like Bubba from Forrest Gump.
27:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. I prefer you use one of the Cosby kids as a big lip reference. Not Bubba from Forrest Gump, but...
27:47🔗
Adam
Yeah, one of the... No, not that Cosby. The line that goes, Yeah, from the junkyard kids, the fat Albert Cosby kids.
28:22🔗
Adam
Just tell him I didn't mean, you know, I meant slob in a good way. I mean, you know, sexy hot slob.
28:43🔗
Adam
No. Just irritated you. Tell him to cut it down. He's throwing the curve off for everyone. 35 minutes is nine and a half pumps for me, by the way.
28:56🔗
Adam
Do it every about six, six minutes, six minutes, oh, five minutes. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. It's like four and a half. Yeah, no. Excuse me. 11 and a half pumps for me. Yeah. 35 minutes. Not bad, huh?
29:11🔗
Caller
Well, it's kind of related to this one. For the past week, it's been kind of burning before this, about two weeks. And then.
29:21🔗
Drew
Maybe had a yeast infection or a vaginitis that now that you've sort of stirred things up has gotten a lot worse.
29:27🔗
Drew
I mean, if the lining of the vagina lips are irritated by infection and you have sex, it will get worse.
29:33🔗
Adam
The more I think about the women's anatomy, I mean, the more I do this show, the more I realize they just weren't supposed to have sex. They really weren't. Women were here to perform oral sex and then have intercourse like twice a year earlier because every time a penis gets down there, it throws everything off.
29:52🔗
Drew
Think about through human history what that would have meant. I mean, first of all, STDs were fatal. Oh, yeah. And you would get... A urinary tract infection could have been fatal. It could have caused kidney... I mean, there was a time when sex was risky.
30:04🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised. Why aren't there more women than men on the planet? It seems like there should be more... I guess men die in wars and things.
30:24🔗
Drew
That's why it became known... The women became known as the frail or the weaker sex, because they were dying. They died.
30:31🔗
Adam
Right. When did they become the dumber sex, Drew? When did that come into play? We'll be right back. But hold on a second. What, Drew, why aren't there less women? You know, if they're all dying off at childbirth and, you know, if a yeast infection, not put one in the ground...
30:48🔗
Adam
I know, but why not? Why not a million years ago? How come there weren't more women than men?
31:03🔗
Adam
Would you, I've never looked into this, but would you assume it's the same as it is now, 500 years ago?
31:34🔗
Adam
Do that rocket thing where you close the one nostril and blast the snow out of the other side.
31:40🔗
Yeah, we don't.
31:41🔗
Adam
I don't know what that was, but it wasn't me. All right, Carmen Electra is our guest tonight. She is currently be found out on the newsstands on the big Chris McGayla issue of Playboy.
31:55🔗
Adam
What did I say, Chrisma? You know, I had a few beers with her tonight. I'm not ashamed to say that. You can't articulate yourself any better than that. All right. It's not fair, though. I got to carry this whole goddamn show every night. Bruce over there eating popcorn and hawk and phlegm. I'm pulling the whole goddamn show. All right, we'll be back.
32:16🔗
Hello? Is this Loveline?
33:00🔗
Adam
Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Carmen Electra is our guest tonight. The great Jimmy Kimmel will be in here Sunday night. The Emmy Award winning Jimmy Kimmel, partner from The Man Show.
33:19🔗
Adam
That's right. That's a nice Adam Corolla impersonation. Lord knows he should know. And you can find him on the Fox NFL round up in the morning. You ever watch him on that? Very funny, very talented. Yeah. Well, sports, it says for strikeouts. Primus is going to be in here next week and also someone from Dungeons and Dragons, which is a new movie I've been seeing billboards all over the place for, and Natalie Rotano being here from VIP. You know, I cursed that VIP when it came out and it's still going strong. I'll tell you, Carmen, I haven't given a speech in a while, but Hollywood producers and movie producers and types like this should line up to get the Carolla curse because every goddamn show of curse has gone on for at least six years. Really? Completely lucrative. Every time there's some show or some celebrity or somebody I try to put a pox on because I can't stand them or I think it's a bad idea or I think it's like this is, I'll label something as everything that's wrong with television and this is why I can't do this and these people are getting in my way about pow, ten years later and ten billion dollars later. Everyone gets a jet plane and then it goes into syndication. It's wildly successful. So everyone should be so lucky to get the Corolla Curse. You want the Corolla Curse?
34:47🔗
Adam
You can't ask for the Corolla Curse because then I mean it. I won't mean it with you. I have to mean it. It has to be organic.
35:10🔗
Adam
So you should have pulled very. If you'd want sorta, we could have bought into that. I think we could have bought that. I'm a bad boy, let me tell you. Oh, yeah. But I'm not napping. I'm flying my model. I fly this model airplane. Pretty rough sport. Pretty fast crowd over there at the Hanson Dam about two o'clock on a Wednesday. Oh, yes.
35:33🔗
Adam
In Van Nuys, yeah, runnin with a pretty fast crowd. Lotta guys, some of the guys over there knocked off work early, didn't tell their boss. You know what I'm sayin? It's that kinda guy.
35:43🔗
Adam
Devil may care kinda guy. Let it ride, that's what I say. I'm the kinda guy be flying his model airplane, you know? They'll say, land, you're low on fuel. No, I'm goin around one more time. That's the kinda guy I am. Dangerous. People try to caution me, I don't listen.
36:02🔗
Adam
I use 110% deodorant. Sometimes if I'm gettin in my car and I'm just goin down to the market, down on the corner, just right in the little beachwood area there, I don't put my belt on until I'm out of the garage.
36:18🔗
Adam
It's a fast life. I'm not gonna kid ya. I mean, if you're slowin down, you know, I may take two naps in a day sometimes. Yeah.
36:49🔗
Carmen Electra
Yeah, um, you know, like, all those inbreed guys that kind of call your show sometimes?
36:55🔗
Adam
Yeah, inbreeds. Yeah, those are the only... What do you mean? Those are the only people who call the show.
36:58🔗
Carmen Electra
Yeah. You guys should get the deliverin steam song. Steam song. Have you ever heard that?
37:08🔗
Yeah.
37:11🔗
Yeah, you should get that.
37:12🔗
Adam
Anderson, check the Lycus Archive. She probably has that on cart. Yeah, see if we can find that one. It'd be good on the show. It'd be a nice addition to the show, right? Give me a few minutes.
37:22🔗
Adam
Yeah, give you a few minutes. I give you a few minutes. It turns into a few days. Go get it now.
37:34🔗
Carmen Electra
All right. My question is for you, Adam. I want to be an actor when I grew up and I want to know how you started your career.
37:43🔗
Adam
I, besides going blowing producers, I was working as a boxing instructor in Pasadena, a place called Bodies in Motion. I trained Jimmy Kimmel who was doing the morning show out here in LA on K-Rock to box. He thought I was funny. He let me do some things on the radio and now look at me. I'm a millionaire.
38:11🔗
Adam
No. Let's get to Mark's a Lot Bored. You write down what you want to say and I'll read it to everyone. This is very disturbing your voice tonight.
38:19🔗
Adam
Yeah. Then Drew, then what? Then Drew decided I should be on the Loveline TV show and the rest is history, although no one else tells the story that way. No one gives you credit for discovering me for Loveline.
38:44🔗
Drew
It is playing apparently. I was just over at the VH1 and they were saying they were playing.
38:53🔗
Adam
Well, yeah. It's important to start boxing now if you want to get into winning a show business. That's all right. You can get beat up, whatever. Doesn't matter.
39:15🔗
Adam
Bye, Brian. There you go. Good times. All right. But Carmen, seriously, I'm not your type, right? You don't have any attraction to me, do you? There are women who are attracted to me.
39:37🔗
Adam
Yeah. I think she wanted my money. She wanted to be on the show and she wanted to be on the man show. But nothing here. Huh, Carmen?
39:49🔗
Adam
Yeah. Her hair. Carmen's trying to pawn me off on a Minka. I'm just curious. You know, I'm just, you know, don't guys sort of wonder about that if there's an attractive woman who's sort of a sex symbol in the media, a little bit of an icon out there. Aren't most guys curious what that woman would think of them? Do you know what I mean? It's not only fantasizing, getting in bed with them and dating them, but they kind of want to know what they thought of them.
40:32🔗
Adam
Oh, yeah. This is what I want to say. Thank you, Drew. Now, stop talking. Here's what I need from you, Carmen. I'm looking to step up, you see what I'm saying? Into the next plateau of woman. You see what I'm saying? And you could do that for me. Because here's how it works. Here's how women work. Men don't work this way. Women work this way. If you and I become an item, and we're seen around town a little bit, then you're the caliper of woman I date. You see what I'm saying? And then we can break up. Fine, no problem. Couple years. Six years, boom, break up. We'll break up. We won't really be going out. Just people think we're going out. You understand? Important for people to think that. You'll have to sign something that states that. But we'll be going out. Let's just do it for like six months. Then we break up. Then I then get to go out with people as good looking as you. You see what I mean? Because we went out together, and that's the kind of woman I go out with. It's kind of like.
41:38🔗
Adam
Once it's like you work your way up in cars. You know what I'm saying? And once you get to a nice car, you can't slide down and drive some granola or granada or some Vega or something like that. You know what I'm saying?
41:52🔗
Adam
You got to drive something that's either on the same level or you may even step up. This is what you've been seen in. This is the way it works. This is the same thing except for I will be given my next car. See, people, women see who guys are dating and then date that guy. You see it all the time. Really super ugly, funky looking dudes who went out with Julia Roberts for six months. Pow! Now they got themselves another model. When they're screwed up, weird looking guys. How do you explain it? It's that they went out with a hot chick and other girls saw them.
42:37🔗
Adam
I was seen around with the girl played a small wonder. Remember that series, the robot chick. I'm down around that level now.
43:05🔗
Adam
Minka'd be... I'd be moving more sideways with Minka in a strange direction. We wouldn't even have to have sex that often. No, you know what I mean? We wouldn't need to have sex. We'd just be seen around. You understand what I'm saying?
43:31🔗
Adam
Lyle Lovett can go out with Julia Roberts for a year, and now Lyle Lovett gets to date Julia Roberts' caliper women, and you women are just nutty enough to buy into that retarded theory. Now, if a guy sees that, when a guy sees, you know, James Brolin going out with Barbara Streisand, we're like, he's nuts! What an idiot! No, and that don't mean nothing for us. I mean, Barbara Stock did not go up one inch. Right? That was geniuses. All right, Carmen Electra is here. We're going to work on it. I'm going to draft something up during the break, and we'll come back after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Carmen, I was explaining the pros and cons of being a man and a woman to Carmen Electra during the break.
45:08🔗
Adam
I don't know. Why do I do that? It's like a tooth that hurts, but you keep playing with it with your tongue.
45:13🔗
Drew
You could drop a document and make a proposal to her about making it seem like you were dating or something.
45:33🔗
Adam
Luke unattracted to me. Medium unattracted to me. You know what I mean? You know how, you know there's certain guys where you go like, you bring up the guy's name and you go, when your girlfriend goes, would you do it with Larry Higgins Stoller? And you go, oh no! Oh my god, no!
45:56🔗
Adam
Yeah, Texas Ranger. Yeah, Jimmy Walker. Imagine Jimmy. No, no, no. But like, I'm gonna... We run. I'm like the one no guy. No. But not, no, no. Not with all the sound effects. Just the one no, right?
46:34🔗
Adam
I mean, Gabriel, yeah. Okay. All right, baby. You're 23. Yeah, I'm smarting over here. So let's just get through this.
46:41🔗
Caller
First of all, before I ask my question, I just wanted to say, Carmen, God bless you because I didn't know that your mom had died of cancer. I am a cancer survivor. I just arrived at recently.
46:58🔗
Caller
It's like a tumor. It's like a tumor in the fatty parts of the body. It's like on the arms and legs and stomach. That's where they are. And they mostly happen in people in their 20s.
47:14🔗
Caller
Yeah. It's either there or there. It's not, you know, it's it's rare, but it just it's it's rare enough that people don't know about it. But it's enough to where it kills just as many people every day, just like any other cancer does. But anyways, the reason I waited all week to purposely call because Carmen is such a strong like she's so dependent.
47:45🔗
Caller
I mean, what I'm saying is that she's so like confident in herself. And so the reason I called is to purposefully call because all of my life, I live in Dallas where there's like nothing but beautiful women. And all my life I've been told that I was very attractive and everything. But my whole entire life, I've been just shut down by guys. Like, I mean, ever since I was little, as far as I can remember, I'm this old, I've never had a boyfriend ever in my entire life.
48:17🔗
Adam
Yeah. No, you went nowhere. No one finds you attractive. Oh, she may be one of the other girls you are sure find me attractive. Somebody out there, right?
48:33🔗
Adam
You know what I mean? I need Carmen. I got to lift my, I got to elevate my game a little here.
48:39🔗
Adam
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with you, but people don't know who I'm talking about. He went out with Carmen Electra, he can't go out with you, you're not good looking enough. You got the better looking Carmen Electra. Gabrielle, no one knows that. Is that what I'm saying?
48:54🔗
Caller
So, my question is, how do I, I mean, my self-esteem, how do I build that as far as anything goes? Because I've got confidence as far as I'm smart, that I'm a learned woman, you know, I'm, you know, I'm very talented. I've been told that I was talented. I know that I am. So, my question is, how do I build on that? I mean, I mean, I heard that there's like, I've been told by guys that there's like women that they think are scary, you know, and they don't want to approach them. Am I that sort of a woman or am I just? A little bit.
49:30🔗
Adam
You're freaking guys out a little bit. You know what you got to do? You got to like have a wine cooler and just be quiet. Just pat your eyelashes a little. Just sit around. Listen, a guy will come, will approach an attractive woman or even an unattractive woman.
49:48🔗
Caller
Because, I mean, I always thought, well, for a long time, like, during my teen years, I really thought I was ugly. And so, I mean, obviously, I am not.
50:13🔗
So, I, I, I...
50:17🔗
Adam
Well, then you're going to the wrong guys. You, you, I'm telling you, do you have, do you have anything you're interested in?
50:26🔗
Caller
Music and theater, that's my sort of thing. But of course, I'm a gay man, so it will definitely help.
50:32🔗
Adam
Well, you start getting in a heavy metal and in the porn theater and you'll start hanging around straight guys. I'm trying to figure out, I'm trying to make lemonade out of lemons here. Hi, Gabrielle. Listen, there's no there's no advice other than just get out and start living your life and stop questioning yourself all the time.
50:49🔗
Drew
Building Esteem is having a very connected base with people that really care about you. It's a place to fall back on a place to define yourself and really get nourishment emotionally. And then to go out and swing away, try, make some tries.
51:02🔗
Adam
And listen, everyone feels insecure at one time or another, but they don't voice it all the time. Just keep quiet. People assume you're confident, people assume you're smart, people assume you're deep, people assume you're intelligent, assume all sorts of horrible lies about you.
51:18🔗
Carmen Electra
I mean, I hear it all the time. People always say, God, you know, you were in Playboy or you did this or that. You must be so confident you can do this and that. And you're still human, you know? It doesn't matter. I'm just as insecure as, you know, anybody else.
51:32🔗
Adam
Right. Not so insecure as you find me, trying to be, but as insecure as anybody else. All right. Nicole?
51:45🔗
Caller
Yeah. I had a question. Last night we had a foursome. Like it was one guy at a time because I don't prefer oral done to me or I like to do it to guys. But whenever...
52:02🔗
Adam
I see. You will have an occasional foursome, but you're no ho. Is that what you're saying?
52:24🔗
Adam
Yeah. I see. So they tap out. Yeah. And what... How do you accommodate that without the oral sex part? I mean, didn't it sort of play in to it?
53:04🔗
Adam
You might want to look in to doing or you couldn't just sort of tell from advance it may not be great behavior?
53:09🔗
Caller
No, I just... No, I won't say anything bad about eating batteries, but I know I won't do it until...
53:14🔗
Adam
Right, but you won't knock it. You won't take a stance against it. What about kids eating batteries? That's something you'd want to stand on?
53:20🔗
Kids eating batteries?
53:31🔗
Adam
So if you're going to have sex with a guy, you do it now. So you can be finished by the time we get back, okay?
53:37🔗
Adam
All right. Listen, I'm going to open her up like a can of corn. I'll get to the bottom of this, Nicole. I will get to the bottom of her. Believe me, parents together, love her very much. No, not going for that. Ready to start bedding here. All right. Carmen Electra, we have to let go because Carmen has to get up at three in the morning and she's driving to Florida tomorrow.
54:18🔗
All right.
54:19🔗
Adam
All right, everyone go out and get that issue, the Gala Christmas issue of Playboy. Out on the newsstands now and you can pick up the Mad Magazine that me and Jimmy are in, by the way, too, which is probably out there too. Carmen, thanks for coming.
54:34🔗
Thank you.
54:38🔗
Adam
All right, we'll be back. Hey, Love Line, I'm Adam. That is true. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Carmen Electra has left the building. And it turns out Engineer Anderson was wrong last night when he was arguing with me about M&M calling the show at some point. Apparently, I was right and he was wrong. So Chuck went up for the big ace man. He did call in. I guess he wasn't scheduled to call in. I don't even know where he got the hotline number, but he called in about a year ago or something like that. All right, so now that we've finished that business, let's talk to Nicole, who's 18. Nicole had a foursome recently.
56:08🔗
Oh. Thank you.
56:29🔗
Adam
Now, how does it work? Does each guy finish or do they take another lap and finish? Or how does that work?
56:36🔗
Caller
They finish and then they watch me get out for the other guys and then they go again if they want.
56:42🔗
Adam
Yeah, here's, you know how I'd be like, if I was like first in that line, I'd be like, listen baby, I'm gonna give it to you all night. I'm gonna fish on you, then I'm gonna watch these other four dudes for you, then I'm gonna come back and give you a second, help an 11, when I'm done with that, I'm gonna give you a third up. I got some laundry, it's in the, I gotta go. It's getting weird, this is weird. Where are my pants? Whose pants are these? I'm gonna borrow these pants. I just use this, I'm just gonna put this lamp shade on like a Jetson skirt and just a Trudy Jetson type skirt. I'll be down in my room. I'll be back. No, no, I'll be back. No, no, no. I can party. I just, I wanna get the laundry. You know what happens to the laundry when you let it sit in the washing machine too long, goes mildewy. You put that in the dryer and then, don't worry, I'll be back. Yeah, I mean, how do they, well, I guess these guys are, how old are these guys?
57:39🔗
Adam
I see. Well, then maybe they got a second round. So how did it work? Did the first guy got on you, right?
57:51🔗
Adam
Oh, anal. Yeah. Nice. We got a, call me old fashioned, but I got a, I got a little, there's a little Corolla rule about going after anal. My grandfather sent me down one day, son, after the corn hole and it's done, there's no, no seconds on that one. You don't, don't step in after that man and no, you gotta know when to hold up. So the guy, doggy anal the whole thing, right?
58:32🔗
Adam
I see. And then the, and I'd put him last in line. Wouldn't put him at the front. That's me. When I, when I pull the train, I put the anal as the caboose.
59:02🔗
Caller
No, just repetition. Like the same guy doing the same thing over and over again, then not getting off on, like not orgasming on it. Then I get bored. I tell them, get up.
59:17🔗
Caller
Oh, when I laid, when I, when I, we go back to it, doesn't matter the order, just whoever's there.
59:22🔗
Adam
Oh yeah. Once you get started again, but wouldn't you tap same, same place in line? I would dibs that or tap it. You know, I tap same place. You know what I mean?
59:31🔗
Adam
Last time I went is the anal guy taking cuts. You know, you know, it's like when the anal, the ass master slides in front of you again. It's like, oh jeez, let me guess, more anal, Frank? For Christ's sake, get to the back of the line. All right. So all four guys have sex.
59:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. There's one guy, he doesn't get sex much often. He told me I was his second. So he went twice and wanted to go a third time, but I wanted to go home.
1:00:39🔗
Caller
Just messing around and they actually took me serious and I was all whatever, you know.
1:01:05🔗
Caller
I don't know. Whenever I turn over or something or get up, I stand up and it goes...
1:01:16🔗
Drew
This reminds me of when that guy James called about having sex with his dog. His question wasn't about the sex with the dog, it was about why people freak out when he tells them what he's into. This is the same kind of thing as I'm calling about the queef get to it. Let's go. Let's say, hey, wait a minute, there's a much more serious issue here.
1:01:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, he had a male mute that queefed, I think it was. Yeah, so what do you look like?
1:01:38🔗
Caller
What do I look like? I'm what I call a Blexican, half black, half Mexican, about 5'4, 145.
1:01:49🔗
Caller
I don't know. I don't judge myself. I don't like conceited people, so I don't judge myself.
1:01:53🔗
Adam
Well, you do what I do. You announce that you're very hot, and then you get turned down by Carmen Electra. All right, so Nicole, yeah, or the Blexican, it's a Spider-Man villain, Blexacano. I'm black. So you say your parents are together.
1:02:17🔗
Caller
Well, that's what he likes, so he can figure whatever. I see. Does he? No. They're both straight edge.
1:02:35🔗
Caller
No. They only drink on occasions, like parties when friends are over. Nothing like no alcoholics.
1:03:17🔗
Caller
No. It was nothing like big, big. Just, let's see. The only time I can remember being like...
1:03:31🔗
Caller
No, it was just like pushing up, like strong push, but you know, because I would talk back to him and just like to get me off, he would just like push me like on a couch or something, but nothing like strong.
1:03:50🔗
Caller
Because I got caught sneaking in, when I got caught sneaking out, but coming back in.
1:03:57🔗
Adam
Oh, my boy. Well, it stays close to home. So Nicole, this behavior doesn't bother you at all? Doesn't seem strange to you?
1:04:12🔗
Adam
The biological parents, still together, no physical abuse, no mental abuse, never told you you're fat or ugly or anything stupid?
1:04:41🔗
Caller
No. I just do a little drinking, like on occasions, but that night I was, every night I have sex, I'm sober.
1:04:54🔗
Yeah.
1:04:56🔗
Yeah.
1:04:57🔗
Caller
Yeah, I like them, but I don't ever want to get married or have kids because I can barely control myself, you know, so.
1:05:03🔗
Caller
Like, just whatever I want to do, I want to do it like I'm not going to let anything stand in my way.
1:05:14🔗
Adam
Well, but I'm the same way. Whether it's napping or jacking off, nothing's going to stop me. I'm my own man. All right, Nicole.
1:05:26🔗
Adam
Yes. Yes. When you have 14 lineal feet of schlong inside you, inside of 20 minutes, I'm sure a queef or two is going to come out.
1:05:44🔗
Adam
Yes. Now, I know everyone, this drives everyone insane and listens to this show. And they accuse Drew and I of going on witch hunts all the time with this kind of stuff. But Drew, we tune into people's tone all the time. And there's a certain calculated, icy, slightly angry, little hostile, defiant thing. And anytime you talk to a woman and she says, I'm never getting married and I'm never having kids, it's hard to imagine that she came from a good place. Because women, even when they come from a bad place, want to get married and have kids. And a woman who doesn't ever want to have kids and doesn't ever want to get married is usually missing a little part that women have. You know what I'm saying?
1:06:30🔗
Drew
Yeah, I would have said either physical abuse or like serious abandonment in early childhood, like profound abandonment.
1:07:00🔗
Carmen Electra
Well, my mom, about a week ago, walked in on me and another man having sex. And.
1:07:17🔗
Well.
1:07:20🔗
Yeah.
1:07:21🔗
Adam
Listen, Mike, hang on for, what, have you been on hold for 80 minutes? Give it another 15 and we'll get back to you. We, you got a bad phone line and we're having, you're having difficulty stringing together a sentence.
1:07:37🔗
Adam
Everyone, just tell your goddamn story. Thank you. It's been way too long on our last call. I, I was sure we could get something out of her. Shannon.
1:07:46🔗
Caller
Hi. Um, before my period, like a week or two before I start having really bad, severe cramps and then not, it just happens anytime I get dizzy when I'm lying down in bed and it doesn't go away for like five minutes. And I was wondering if you can tell me what's wrong or something during the periods of bad cramp.
1:08:10🔗
Drew
It's not during it's like, are you, are you bleeding at that point or is it before your period?
1:08:20🔗
Adam
Hold on a second. Let me talk to Drew. What is it? Son and daughter of Tard night? Yeah. What is going on here? Ask your question and Drew, please clear that voice out. Would you?
1:09:14🔗
Drew
Yeah. You should see your doctor about that. That's not a typical symptom of that kind of premenstrual syndrome. If you usually vertigo or positional vertigo is what it's called is worse when you like roll over and better turn over better lay down in bed. That's often a middle ear problem, but this sort of spontaneous dizziness needs to be evaluated.
1:09:41🔗
Caller
I was staying at my friend's house recently and his mother came on to me and we had sex.
1:09:59🔗
Adam
Oh, you're so high, Mike. Like you're going to tell. I mean, sorry, George, Mike's high too. George, you're going to tell your best friend that you banged his mom?
1:10:17🔗
Adam
We got to have motive. You got to have motivation. You understand? You'd have no motivation. You wouldn't tell her in a million years. You wouldn't tell him about this. If your life depended on it.
1:10:28🔗
Adam
You understand? That's why you wouldn't call this show and ask what to do. You understand, George?
1:10:41🔗
Adam
I'll tell you, the number one bogus call on this show is I banged my best friend's mom.
1:10:52🔗
Adam
Okay, how do I tell him? Everyone just close your eyes, picture your best friend in high school and then picture having sex with his mom. How do you tell him? How don't you tell him? That's the question. I want to get back to Mike real quick. Mike?
1:11:08🔗
Carmen Electra
Okay. A week ago, I was in my room having sex with a man and my mom walked in and...
1:11:53🔗
Drew
And you didn't think your parents would notice that somebody was sleeping in your room?
1:12:21🔗
Adam
Saturday night. You go to a club. You pick up a guy. You go home with the guy. What time? You're out all night at the club.
1:12:35🔗
Carmen Electra
Yeah, and I came home at eight, and he was at my house, and we were hanging out, and I started giving myself oral, and...
1:12:43🔗
Adam
Hold on, hold on, hold on. First off, if you can give yourself oral, why are you leaving the house?
1:12:52🔗
Adam
You've got your own gay partner, you see him in the mirror every morning when he's shaved. You gave yourself oral?
1:13:01🔗
Adam
Hey, hey, hey, Mike? You answering, um... is not yes. I want to hear affirmative or negative.
1:13:37🔗
Adam
Yes. Affirmative. Yes. Okay. So and he, the 19 year old you pick up at the club was watching you perform oral on yourself?
1:13:46🔗
Adam
Affirmative. Affirmative. And while you were performing oral on yourself and he was watching? Affirmative. Affirmative. Yes.
1:14:09🔗
Adam
I see. Hold on a second, Drew. Drew, this is why when I have children, I'm gonna keep a cyanide capsule and I'm gonna keep it my left cheek and I'm gonna let it float around on my left cheek.
1:14:26🔗
Adam
And then each and every time I go to my son or daughter's bedroom door, I'm going to take my tongue and I'm gonna take the cyanide capsule, I'm gonna put it between my rear molars. I'm gonna put it right in between there. And if I open the door and I see him blowing himself and some guy in a leather vest with his pants around his ankles, diddling himself, I chomp down. I don't even say one word. I don't have time to say what the, like before what the hell comes out, I get the what the, pow, I fall right on the ground. Yeah. Gone. Instantaneous. That's what I'm gonna do. If I walk in and I see my daughter pulling a train and big Al the anal man looming up for round two, pow, right down on that cyanide capsule. You hear me?
1:15:17🔗
Adam
You got triplets. You need three each time you open that door. You see him performing oral sex on himself. Drew, what's worse, your son performing oral sex on himself or a guy who picked up that night?
1:15:31🔗
Adam
I know, but which is worse? Is it more bizarre and macabre to see him doing himself in a way?
1:15:35🔗
Drew
Yeah, I think it is. Doing himself with the guy standing there jacking off is pretty weird.
1:15:40🔗
Adam
Yeah, it's kind of weird. It's like, is he gay? I wish. I wish. All right. Mike? Yeah, that is a... So did she freak?
1:15:54🔗
Carmen Electra
Well, she didn't say anything. She just came in and just looked on her face and just walked back out of the room.
1:16:07🔗
Carmen Electra
Because I was laying on my bed, which is right next to my door. And she came in and I turned around, lifted up and...
1:16:45🔗
Adam
Yeah, but can you go all the way through the process, performing oral on yourself? You can?
1:17:06🔗
Adam
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, I guess you know what you like. Oh, yeah. And did you tell this guy who you picked up at the club that you could do this? He wanted to see it?
1:17:23🔗
Adam
It's a good icebreaker. I'm going to try that on a date. Hey, I can't perform oral on myself, but watch me stick my thumb in my ass. All right. So and he was all right.
1:17:34🔗
Carmen Electra
So your mom and for the past week, my mom is like probably not said more than two words.
1:18:18🔗
Adam
All right, Mike. Let's get to, now that I'm over the novelty part of this, let's get to the healing. What do you say? Are you doing OK? You going to school?
1:18:30🔗
Adam
All right. Well, listen, Mike, you had somebody fiddle with you when you were growing up. Your antenna got a little bit bent. You're veering off the course a little bit here.
1:18:42🔗
Carmen Electra
Don't you think? Yeah. Well, I'm just worried about how this is going to affect me and my mom's.
1:18:47🔗
Adam
I know. But why don't you worry about you going out at age 16 to a gay club still 8 a.m. I've been doing it for a long time. Oh, well, as long as you've been at it for a while, then that's different.
1:18:56🔗
Carmen Electra
Well, I mean, it's something I'm comfortable with. It's not something I'm ashamed of.
1:18:59🔗
Adam
I'm not saying you should be. Well, yes, I am saying you should be horribly ashamed. I'm sorry. No, I know you're used to it. I know you're comfortable with it. But let's put it this way. And I know this never works. But hypothetically, if you were a parent and you had a 16-year-old son or daughter, would you want them out at a club until 8 a.m. the next morning?
1:19:31🔗
Adam
I mean, listen, this is not going to be a good life for you. You got screwed with a little. You got to get a little therapy. You got to work your problems out a little bit. Hey, if you're gay, fine. That's fine. But you still can act responsibly. And right now you're being a little irresponsible.
1:19:51🔗
Adam
Well, the fact that you're a minor and that you're out all night until the sun comes up and then you're bringing a stranger home, an adult stranger home and theoretically engaging in sex with them, that's what you call risky behavior. And your mom has a right to be concerned.
1:20:11🔗
Adam
It's not going to be a good life for you, Mike. Let me see, five years from now you're going to be in a goddamn cowboy outfit with your ass hanging out, dancing while people throw dollars at you. It's going to be a bad life. What you want to do is get a little therapy, work out some of the stuff that was done to you, stop acting out quite as much, get your grades up and go off to college somewhere.
1:20:35🔗
Drew
If your mom had half a brain she would have taken you to the therapist office that afternoon.
1:20:39🔗
Adam
Yeah. Alright, so Mike, why don't you just tell your mom, can you level with your mom?
1:20:47🔗
Adam
Alright, why don't you tell her, listen mom, I know you saw what you saw and I'm sorry for it and I gotta talk to someone. I need a little help. How about that?
1:20:57🔗
Adam
Alright, alright, please. Boy, it's funny, we talked to two people tonight. We talked to Mike and who the hell is that chick we're trying to do?
1:21:07🔗
Adam
Yeah, I don't remember anyone's names. You're all numbers to me. It wasn't Shannon, was it Shannon?
1:21:14🔗
Adam
The point is, I remember she was a Blaxican. The point is that we talked to two people that were very calculated, conservative and casual about what I would consider as very bizarre behavior for certainly a young person. 16.
1:21:38🔗
Adam
Nicole, thank you. Alright, Drew, what would you do? So, if you came in, you saw one of your sons.
1:21:51🔗
Drew
You know, maybe I need to build a trap door into my house that goes right down to the therapist's office.
1:21:58🔗
Adam
That's a better idea. I know we're running late for break, but hold on a second. You got a good idea there, Drew. Drew, you have a hatch built in.
1:22:23🔗
Adam
It's hinged on the front, it's hatched. So just the bottom drops out, the foot of the bed drops out and they fall straight down.
1:22:31🔗
Adam
I see. So you walk in, your son is blowing himself. He's got some duty picked up at a club, he's pleasuring himself to him, pleasuring himself. You hit a quick button. This would be like one of those medic alert key things you wear around your neck.
1:22:45🔗
Adam
It's like a garage door opener. My grandmother has one and if she falls down, you hit that thing, the hatch blows. There's a Jewish guy in his 60s in a bad sport coat with patches, big suede patches on the elbows.
1:22:58🔗
Adam
He's just sitting in a nondescript room somewhere in your basement, smoking a pipe, and reading a young book, and you come sliding down and right onto the sofa. Perfect.
1:23:53🔗
Adam
Hey, Loveline, Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew over there. Carmen Electra was in here tonight. I want to thank her. Jimmy Kimmel coming in next week. The great Emmy award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, Primus. Vanessa, Juggie from The Man Show, coming in with Primus. They wrote a song about her. And-
1:24:13🔗
Adam
Justin Whalen from, would that be Wallen? You know, the Wallen. Yeah, Dungeons and Dragons. I have no idea what this movie is.
1:24:29🔗
Adam
Oh, boy. They should have called it Parchisi and Parchisi. I would have been much more compelled to go see it.
1:24:39🔗
Adam
Parchisi and Canasta. And Natalie Ritano from VIP is going to be new. All right. Drew was at the VH1 Awards tonight at the shrine.
1:25:03🔗
Adam
And you stood out front with a camera and a microphone. And here's the thing that's funny about you, Drew. There's no way you knew the names of the people who came up. Someone fed them to you?
1:25:14🔗
Drew
I actually told Extra Extra. I said, don't you think it's kind of interesting? It's funny. Do you believe a guy like me out there with no idea who these people are? I mean, that's fun. That's interesting. Right. Let me go at them and... No, no, no.
1:25:25🔗
Yeah.
1:25:54🔗
Adam
You know what I was hoping? They did this thing, it wasn't a real interview. It was just a couple of questions. They try to get people to talk to them and no one will talk to them. So, they eventually get to me and I'll talk to them. It's always funny because I talk to them for my cell phone while I'm working on my house and I'm yelling at Mexican guys and saw us going off and stuff in the background and people never figure out what I'm doing. I always chew on their ear about nothing that they're not interested in. I think I did a good 20 minutes on Publicist today if I can't stand. But they called me and they wanted to know what five major mistakes that talk show hosts make. What are some bad talk show hosts, faux pas and things like that. I guess because I hosted a show or host a show and because I've been a guest on many a show and they want to ask me about that. Although I'm sure they want to talk to a lot of people before they got to me. But the point is they didn't talk to those people because those people wouldn't talk to them. But I thought this is going to be fun because they're going to ask me who I've had a good time with and who I haven't. And I got some definite opinions. You know, Conan O'Brien didn't had a bad time with him. There's a handful of guys, Letterman, hard time. I mean didn't like him. I like his show but talk about pain in the ass. The whole process with the oh my god don't look Dave in the eye and don't do this and don't do that. The whole nine yards. I thought Jesus is kind of gutsy. They're going to ask and I'm going to get some people pissed off. I'm going to put my foot in my mouth. It's going to be great. That never once. They didn't want to hear it. And I thought he had figures, a bunch of kiss ass pussies. You know what I mean? I thought this is going to be great. They can find out. Ask people who've been on the shows, who they like and who they don't like. Because you go do a show, you'll know in a minute. You'll know Conan will just let you sit there while the audience turns on you and he'll just sit there, he'll slide his chair back and you'll just flap out in the wind. And then there's other guys like John Stewart who are great. They'll lean right in and get in there with you.
1:28:04🔗
Adam
And I just did PI tonight, it'll be on tomorrow. And of course, always have a good time on that show. But there's some shows you don't have a good time on.
1:28:17🔗
Adam
Thank you, Dave. That'll be the last time I do the show. Drew, just use the S word, everybody. No, I respect the hell out of Letterman. I think the guy's a pioneer and I think he's great, but he's nuts and everyone's scared to say anything. You go on his show, people come at you, the segment producers, they're scared. They talk to you for three days before he goes, what are you going to say? What are you going to say? What are you going to say? Don't touch Dave. Don't look him in the eye. Don't touch him. It's like they scare the crap. And then the last thing they go is, have a good time. Relax, relax. Have a good time. Don't look him in the eye. Don't look him in the eye. Have a good time. It's like they're scared of the guy.
1:29:01🔗
Adam
They just, you know, Letterman, you can't go up. If you walk up there and get him in a bear hug or something, he'll freak. You know what I'm saying? And they give him a whole, they'll give you, they don't give you a whole list of, you know, don't breathe in his direction or anything, but they're extra, extra paranoid about anything you might say or do. What are you going to say? What are you going to do? And you'll hear this phrase 10 times. Dave doesn't like it when fill in the blank. Well, how about me and Jimmy come on and plug them in? Dave doesn't like, Dave won't do. Dave doesn't, Dave doesn't, Dave doesn't. And to me, it's like, is that's a comedian? Dave doesn't? You know what I mean? His whole staff is completely freaked out by him. Completely. All right. Steve?
1:29:51🔗
Yeah.
1:29:55🔗
Caller
Hey, uh, I have a letter of momentum, but anyway, here's my question. I have a butt fetish here. And when I receive fellatio, I really enjoy biting the nearest pillow, if you know what I'm saying. Um, is this gay or what?
1:30:26🔗
Caller
Well, yeah, but I mean, when I'm getting it, I kind of like for my partner to play around down there a little, little bit. I enjoy it.
1:30:35🔗
Adam
What do you mean playing around? Give you a little finger diddle while they're giving you a fellatio.
1:30:45🔗
Caller
No, you know what? I have a rule. It only goes to the first knuckle. If it goes past the second, then I'm not going there.
1:30:52🔗
Adam
Drew, is this the first knuckle, the one that's five eighths of an inch up from the end of your finger?
1:30:58🔗
Drew
Well, this is the distal interphalangeal joint, the proximal interphalangeal joint, the metacarpal phalangeal joint.
1:31:10🔗
Caller
Any farther than that, then I feel really weird, but I still feel weird just going to that first knuckle.
1:31:29🔗
Adam
People talk about you, they go, that's Steve. He's an ass man. Say that. I know it's a horrible joke, but I always say to my buddy Louise, he's an ass man. Yeah. Never gets tired. Never gets tired of hearing it. Lisa?
1:32:10🔗
Caller
Yeah, like I post for a photographer and people have bought pictures of me that are hanging in their homes.
1:32:34🔗
Adam
No, I'm not interested in looks. It doesn't matter. I like a woman who has a beautiful, beautiful inside, but a really super smoking hot outside.
1:34:03🔗
Adam
All right, hold on a second. And we'll get a fax from my phlobey Lisa and check her out. And we'll be back after this.
1:35:33🔗
Adam
Let's have the folks even burn up some cars. Let's see if they're Drew Ski on board there, buddy, but hey! Hey, buddy, I know you're not feeling well.
1:36:15🔗
Caller
Little white bra, garter belt panties. Another one is a black chair with thigh-high pant leather boots, white stockings, and my breast repressed against a chair.
1:36:33🔗
Adam
Anderson put a hole in that one right in the back of his head. That's black and gold. I can't see that one right there. Please always check that. It's 1149 and 45 seconds, that's 10 minutes and 15 seconds away from the top of the hour, straight up to Wednesday hour. I'm Ace Rockolla. I get nervous in the cold tonight, and I hang over, and I hop out and move inside of Liza over there. Liza's very hot, man, although she doesn't get paid for it. Still living at home, living in her image. Her work's a job. She's who operates a flowby for a living, Hey, dude, we're drawing blood. I just got to put Leigh's on the phone. I was like, huh? Hey, Leigh's, baby?
1:37:14🔗
Adam
I had more success whacking off to a turtle. It's just a blank, blank page. Nothing on there.
1:37:21🔗
Adam
Sorry about it. You guys are more nude. Hey, we're going to work this back. What do you got on the computer, baby? You got something on the computer?
1:37:37🔗
Adam
What do you got on the fax? You got another email or something like that? Picture download?
1:37:51🔗
Adam
Sorry. Ring the bell. It's 1150, 9 minutes, 5 minutes, whatever the time is, because I got the middle line. Let me take a few calls, hang on a minute, go to Ken, Ken, 17 years old, Ken, what's the time? Girlfriend is giving me a bloat. Hold on a second, let's check time for that. 1151, that's eight minutes and 40 seconds, the way at the top of the hour, straight up, it is Rockolla.
1:38:44🔗
Adam
Give it a little pink stea ice key. What do you say, Dr. Drew? What do you blush out there? What do you do with a little juice? You've had juice, you've had a gallons of juice in your eye. Gallons and gallons of juice in your eye over the years.
1:38:54🔗
Drew
What do you do with that? It could be just an irritation. But it could also be chlamydia.
1:39:08🔗
Adam
Let's check time real fast. It's 11 52 in 10 seconds. That's seven minutes. And, uh, wave dot the hour. It makes my goals a good one.
1:39:20🔗
Adam
Let's burn through some calls. Let me say, fastest eight and a half minutes radio. Tanya?
1:40:21🔗
Adam
All right, but you know what, Drew, when a woman does not want to be kissed with her tongue, at age 19, it's got to be sexual abuse. And anytime you say, well, there's got to be something to do with that. It's going to be rape. It's going to be a little therapy.
1:40:33🔗
Adam
Yeah. Let me check the time real quick. It's 1153 and 35 seconds. That's six minutes and 25 seconds away from the top of the hour. Shit, nobody's really going to lose a good man. Oh, that guy Drew's right there. Wait, did you have an omnibus? Did you have a quick call? No, I think you're on break. Oh, did you understand? He was raped. Rape today? You're sure you've got to get some therapy.
1:40:54🔗
Drew
Yeah, but don't worry about it. Just don't use the tongue at this point. The tongue is a preference issue.
1:40:59🔗
Adam
Well, if it's something you can't do, you didn't do it. But you gotta get a little therapy.
1:41:07🔗
Adam
That is right. All right, all right, all right, all right. We got some naked pictures over there.
1:41:24🔗
1-800-LOVE-191 Hi, this is Brendan from Weedis and you're listening to Love Line, on 947 NRK.
1:41:50🔗
Adam
Yes. I'm gonna thank Carmen Electra for coming in here to night and being a good sport about things. I look forward to Jimmy Kimmel coming in here, along with Primus and Natalie Richano from BIP next week. And until next time, oh, wait a minute, I want to thank the beautiful Lauren for doing a great job on the phones all week and Sarah for doing a great job on the phones all week and producer Ann for doing a great job producing the show half the week and engineer Anderson for pottin things up and pottin them down all, and always bein right. So until next time, this is Adam Crowell for Dr. Drew sayin, mahalo. Hey, I can't perform oral on myself, but watch me stick my thumb in my ass.
1:42:32🔗
Caller
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Anne Wilkins Dingle Dingle. Loveline is a prison.