Wednesday, November 15, 2000

3:06🔗 It's another Buzz moment of madness.

3:09🔗 Why is it great to be a guy?

3:10🔗 Short lines to the can.

3:12🔗 Outrageous talk radio. 100.7 The Buzz. KQBC Seattle.

3:18🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

3:26🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

3:38🔗 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla.

3:40🔗 That is Dr. Drew over there.

3:41🔗 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Facts number 310-8-5-4-4-4-5-5. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight, it is my pleasure to welcome back to the show, David Alan Grier.

3:59🔗 Pump it up!

4:00🔗 Pump it up! Pump it up in this piece!

4:04🔗 What's up, Adam?

4:07🔗 It's good to be back.

4:09🔗 Adam It's good to have you back.

4:11🔗 Dr. Drew, how are you doing, brother man?

4:14🔗 Drew I'm good.

4:16🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, hey, let's address this right now. I am so angry at both of you.

4:23🔗 Adam It was Drew's idea.

4:25🔗 David Alan Grier Let me tell you something. Dr. Drew, I'm on medication. I'm on L-Cliptothera. Cliptothera, have you heard of that? It's for, I got my, my, my illness was diagnosed. Apparently I have irritable esophagus syndrome. They have, yeah, they do.

4:44🔗 They call it IES.

4:46🔗 David Alan Grier And sometimes, you know, when I'm not on the medication, cause I'm currently on it.

4:51🔗 Drew You regurgitate?

4:53🔗 Yeah, I do.

4:54🔗 David Alan Grier And it's an emotionally based thing.

4:56🔗 Drew So when you came in here and barfed all over the place, it's very traumatic to hear it being replayed over and over.

5:01🔗 David Alan Grier It is because it may bring it up and I don't want to, oh boy, it's going to be tough.

5:08🔗 Drew Are you okay?

5:09🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, it's going to be tough. I don't want to, you know, I think I can make it through.

5:12🔗 We got two hours, so.

5:13🔗 Adam David vomited last time he was in the studio and we carted it up, as they say in the radio business, and we use it from time to time, like every five minutes.

5:22🔗 David Alan Grier Well, now you know why I'll never make a sex tape. I always tell all my honey bunnies that.

5:27🔗 I don't want to want to look at my own pimply ass.

5:29🔗 David Alan Grier You know what I'm saying, guys?

5:31🔗 Adam What about the rest of us, David? Why should we be robbed of that right?

5:35🔗 Oh, boy.

5:36🔗 David Alan Grier Well, you know what? I just I'm trying to take each moment at a time. You know, when I get in a situation that I think, well, you know, something may come up, I just take a deep breath, think good thoughts, and I'm onward and upward.

5:53🔗 Adam Well, speaking of onward and upward.

5:55🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

5:56🔗 Adam Hey, oh, Dag is the name of a...

5:58🔗 Man, I'm on a hit finally.

6:01🔗 Adam Yeah.

6:01🔗 David Alan Grier I'm on something that feels good.

6:04🔗 Adam Tuesday Nights, NBC at 9 o'clock. You and Delta Burke. Who else is in there?

6:10🔗 David Alan Grier We have Steve Dunham. We have Rihama, Emmy Layborn. Emmy Layborn, beautiful Emmy Layborn.

6:17🔗 We got the young bucks of comedy.

6:20🔗 David Alan Grier Lauren Tom, she was in the Joy Luck Club. Oh, yeah.

6:24🔗 Adam Beautiful Asian woman.

6:26🔗 David Alan Grier Got a little fortune cookie up in there too, baby.

6:27🔗 You know, it's beautiful. Yeah.

6:30🔗 Adam I was asking some guys today, but I want you guys to give me your honest opinion.

6:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

6:34🔗 Adam What is worse? You know, we're talking about Chinaman last night. I don't know why the Chinese people don't like that. What is worse, Chinaman to a Chinese person or Old Timer to an elderly person?

6:45🔗 Drew Chinaman.

6:45🔗 Adam Chinaman worse than Old Timer?

6:47🔗 David Alan Grier Chinaman. Oriental is worse.

6:50🔗 Adam Than Chinaman?

6:51🔗 David Alan Grier No, Chinaman is worse.

6:52🔗 Adam All right. An Old Timer, not so bad?

6:55🔗 David Alan Grier If you call an Asian person a wetback, is that just like, does that-

6:59🔗 Adam That confuses them.

7:00🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

7:00🔗 Adam That's fine.

7:01🔗 Drew No, I think Old Timer should be- you want to tone that down, it would be Alta Cocker.

7:05🔗 Adam Right.

7:06🔗 David Alan Grier Right.

7:06🔗 Old Timer.

7:07🔗 David Alan Grier Now, what did you say, Chinaman?

7:08🔗 How about Cooley?

7:09🔗 Adam Cooley is- now that's black, right?

7:12🔗 David Alan Grier No. No, not necessarily. No, that's Chinese.

7:14🔗 Adam Oh, it's Chinese. Oh, yeah, yeah. Moolly is black.

7:17🔗 David Alan Grier Moolly.

7:18🔗 Adam Yeah, Moolly is black.

7:19🔗 Moolly Nyan.

7:20🔗 David Alan Grier Tutsuni, burnt toast, you know, that whole thing.

7:23🔗 Adam Right. Okay. Moolly's black. Cooley. Yeah, right, right. And then Mooney is also-

7:28🔗 Adam Corolla.

7:29🔗 David Alan Grier Now, what are you, what are you Corolla?

7:31🔗 What is that?

7:31🔗 Adam That's Italian. That's a Tago and Wap and Guinea.

7:34🔗 Yeah, yeah, I got you.

7:36🔗 David Alan Grier And Drew Pinsky. What is that?

7:37🔗 Drew Russian.

7:38🔗 Oh, my God.

7:39🔗 Adam Ruski.

7:42🔗 Hey, you know what?

7:43🔗 David Alan Grier That is such a breakthrough for me. I feel-

7:45🔗 You feel a burping up on me?

7:46🔗 David Alan Grier I haven't belts without chunks coming up. And thank you, Dr. Drew, for hooking me up with that specialist you sent me to. Cause I tell you, I was spent the last time I was here.

7:56🔗 Adam All right, well, let's plug JAG.

7:59🔗 Can we do that?

8:00🔗 Adam I mean, DAG.

8:02🔗 Wow, it's DAG.

8:04🔗 David Alan Grier I play a naval officer.

8:06🔗 Wait, no, no, I don't.

8:07🔗 No, I don't.

8:09🔗 David Alan Grier I don't. Secret service man, baby.

8:11🔗 Adam Right.

8:12🔗 David Alan Grier Secret service man.

8:13🔗 Adam You dive the wrong way when the president is being attacked. You get in the dog house, you end up protecting the president's wife, who's Delta Burke and I, Jinx and Sue.

8:23🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, you know, I was pitching this name for the series called Oopsie Squirtles.

8:28🔗 But of course, the bastards at NBC didn't like it.

8:32🔗 They said it was too black.

8:34🔗 Right.

8:35🔗 So they made me call it DAG.

8:37🔗 Adam I didn't know till today, I figured it out myself by just sitting around that it was the David Alan Grier is DAG. It never dawned on me.

8:45🔗 David Alan Grier Well, apparently several homosexual middle-aged Caucasian men who seem to dominate the Television Critics Association all figured it out across the country.

8:54🔗 They liked it?

8:56🔗 David Alan Grier We got mixed reviews. We got a couple of good reviews, but I love the show. It's a really good show.

9:00🔗 Drew What was your friend's name? The one that you enjoyed so much reviewing your television.

9:03🔗 Oh, Tom Shales.

9:04🔗 David Alan Grier Tom Shales is an excellent review. He gave me a wonderful review.

9:09🔗 Adam He's a lovely, fat homo. He really is.

9:12🔗 David Alan Grier Tom, you are wonderful.

9:13🔗 Adam He really is.

9:14🔗 One of my favorite fat homos.

9:15🔗 You are a god in my eyes.

9:19🔗 Adam So, Tom gave you a good review.

9:21🔗 David Alan Grier I don't know what Tom did, but David being Cooley did, who is wonderful.

9:25🔗 Adam Asian guy, right, Cooley?

9:26🔗 David Alan Grier No.

9:27🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

9:29🔗 David Alan Grier Adam, are you going to call me? Yes, I am. I don't know if there's such a...

9:33🔗 Adam Yes, I am.

9:34🔗 David Alan Grier Because he calls me once, Dr. Drew. He's worse than a chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He calls him and he goes, Hi, David.

9:39🔗 It's Adam. I'm in my skivvies. I wanted to do some rassling and then just throwing hands.

9:48🔗 David Alan Grier And I never called him back. And he's just been in a little pouty mood.

9:51🔗 Adam Well, to tell you the truth, Drew, David doesn't he doesn't think I like him for David.

9:55🔗 I don't.

9:56🔗 You don't.

9:57🔗 Adam He thinks. But I don't like anyone for anybody.

9:59🔗 Drew That's true.

9:59🔗 David Alan Grier Well, Adam, why is it why is it when you left a message on my machine, you didn't talk like that, you were like, Say, brother, look here, this is Adam all up in this piece.

10:11🔗 Get my brother called and let him hook it up.

10:14🔗 Adam Yeah, to be fair to me, I said, looky here. I didn't say look here.

10:18🔗 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looky here, homes.

10:20🔗 Drew All right, this is as much energy as Adam can muster, David. This is it. This is the hittin of a Paul smile.

10:26🔗 Adam We're settin a date, David. We're doing some boxes.

10:28🔗 We're settin a date.

10:30🔗 Adam All right, so.

10:38🔗 Drew How are your parents doing?

10:39🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, they're fine. You know what? My show debuted last night. This is a black thing. Black people never want to give up the energy to their family cuz I got about four calls from relatives.

10:48🔗 They're like, David, I saw your little piece last night.

10:55🔗 David Alan Grier All right, then.

10:56🔗 Call you later.

10:57🔗 David Alan Grier Like, no, you know, was it nice?

10:59🔗 It was all right. That's how you run around.

11:00🔗 David Alan Grier It's cute.

11:01🔗 Adam Doesn't it just doesn't make you mad when they don't know what to call it? They go, I saw your skit last night.

11:07🔗 You're good luck on your presentation with the other guy.

11:12🔗 David Alan Grier You're like presentation. What is that? They never want to give you the love, Adam, you know, and we carry that pain.

11:19🔗 And Dr. Drew, we carry it.

11:20🔗 Drew He hasn't brought up in a while the fact that he was on cable for a few years and the family had a big discussion around the dinner table about why they should bother to get to cable.

11:29🔗 David Alan Grier Wow.

11:30🔗 Adam Yeah. And it was a no vote.

11:32🔗 Drew Yes.

11:32🔗 Adam My mother actually sat at the table and said, give me one good reason why I should get cable.

11:38🔗 David Alan Grier That's so, you know, Adam, can we talk to Adam about Adam? Because I think, you know, you take as a man, we take that home to our women.

11:46🔗 David, how was my day?

11:47🔗 Yeah. Yeah. You're going to get cable now?

11:50🔗 Drew No. He just becomes more boring.

11:54🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

11:55🔗 Drew Quieter, colder, more boring.

11:56🔗 Adam Just becomes some sort of rose.

11:57🔗 Let's go. Let's go to college.

11:59🔗 Drew Yeah. All right.

12:00🔗 Hey, I think it's been an unjust. Hey, forget about my show, Adam. How is your show, your show here? Because you got your TV show canceled. That is garbage.

12:08🔗 Adam That's right.

12:09🔗 And I, for one, I deserve, I think that you all deserve a recount. Now you go back and count those viewers by hand until you get it right.

12:16🔗 Drew You know what's great, Adam?

12:17🔗 Adam What is that?

12:19🔗 Drew Oh, that kind of energy never came out of us. It pertains to this show.

12:23🔗 Adam No, it's good.

12:24🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, you guys are right.

12:25🔗 Drew We didn't even mention it.

12:26🔗 David Alan Grier Let's do a playback. Hey, guys, you're canceled.

12:28🔗 Drew OK. What? Yeah.

12:32🔗 Adam What else was the call about?

12:34🔗 David Alan Grier And Adam's mother called.

12:35🔗 Adam, sorry, you got your little.

12:37🔗 Drew No, no, no, no. She didn't have.

12:39🔗 Adam She don't know.

12:39🔗 Drew He didn't get a call when the show was canceled. Wow.

12:41🔗 Adam No, I didn't get a call. But no one in my family knows.

12:44🔗 Drew No, no, you didn't get a call from the producer.

12:45🔗 Adam Oh, no, I didn't get a call from the producer.

12:48🔗 Ouch.

12:49🔗 David Alan Grier Ouch.

12:50🔗 That's all right.

12:51🔗 Adam I trained.

12:52🔗 Mike.

12:53🔗 Adam Hello. You're 25. What's up?

12:56🔗 Caller Hey, how y'all doing?

12:57🔗 Good.

12:58🔗 Caller Hey, my question was for I guess for Drew.

13:00🔗 Adam I had a hemorrhoid.

13:02🔗 Caller It was about the size of a grape.

13:04🔗 Caller Nice.

13:05🔗 Yeah.

13:05🔗 Caller Oh.

13:07🔗 Caller It was about four months ago.

13:08🔗 Caller I wanted to know if it would need surgery for that.

13:11🔗 David Alan Grier Excuse me, Mike.

13:12🔗 Can I just jump in here for a sec? Guys, please.

13:14🔗 David Alan Grier I'm trying to hold on. I didn't bring my pills with me. Can we stop with the vomiting tapes? Go ahead, Mike.

13:20🔗 Caller Back to you.

13:21🔗 Drew Mike, is it not gone now?

13:24🔗 No, it was four months ago and it went away like that.

13:27🔗 Drew Well, the surgeries are for the ones that thrombose or keep coming back.

13:31🔗 Adam What's thrombose?

13:32🔗 Drew They clot off and get very painful.

13:34🔗 Adam Is that what happens to Fred Flintstone's thumb when he hits it?

13:38🔗 Drew Yes, yes.

13:38🔗 Adam It thromboses?

13:39🔗 Drew No, no, but that's what a thrombose sometimes looks like, is Fred Flintstone's thumb after a bowling ball fell on it.

13:45🔗 David Alan Grier The size of a grape?

13:47🔗 Adam Could you sit?

13:48🔗 Drew Yeah, they pop out. Did it break finally?

13:52🔗 No, it just went away.

13:53🔗 Drew Just went away?

13:53🔗 No, by itself.

13:54🔗 Adam What happens? They will pop.

13:56🔗 Drew Sometimes.

13:57🔗 Adam And then what?

13:59🔗 Drew They come back and receive? Usually, it's the swelling and the clod in there that gets all the irritation out of it.

14:04🔗 Yeah, it was on the outside.

14:05🔗 Drew And they pop back in.

14:06🔗 Adam And what causes the pressure?

14:07🔗 David Alan Grier Did that interrupt your enjoyment of anal sex at all?

14:09🔗 No, not at all.

14:11🔗 Adam No, you may have just had something to work around. A speed bump, if you will. Hi, Mikey.

14:16🔗 David Alan Grier Now, when he's rimming the old basket down there, does he suck on the knob a little bit there, Mikey?

14:21🔗 Adam Oh, does he hang on the hoop? I think it's West.

14:23🔗 Little tongue action.

14:24🔗 Oh! Wow!

14:26🔗 David Alan Grier Look at him.

14:26🔗 Drew Now, Mike, these are, these, if you have lots of hemorrhoids and they become...

14:30🔗 I don't know.

14:31🔗 Drew Yeah, the one that has gone away has gone away and that's it. Okay.

14:34🔗 David Alan Grier Well, do they come back, Dr. Drew?

14:36🔗 Drew People that have them have them.

14:38🔗 They never go away?

14:39🔗 Drew Well, they, they, they exacerbate. They come and they go and they accumulate, get worse as you get older.

14:43🔗 Adam Let me ask you, Drew.

14:44🔗 David Alan Grier So it's like once a junkie, always a junkie. Once you got the piles, you got them, my friend.

14:48🔗 Drew You can get those piles.

14:49🔗 Adam And Drew, is it, once it pokes through the muscle wall there, does it loosen up? Does it, does it make a path? You know what I mean? Would it be more likely to come through that same area?

15:02🔗 Drew Not, no, no. It's kind of like a blip on a tire, really. You kind of want to hop out and then protrude out.

15:07🔗 David Alan Grier Why, Dr. Drew?

15:07🔗 Adam Yeah, but if you, it would be more likely to come through that spot again if you replace the tube, wouldn't it?

15:13🔗 Drew Once it heals, it pretty much, it just, it's not, I don't think it works really like that. All right.

15:17🔗 David Alan Grier Why is it some girls can take a licking back there? Nothing ever happens to them. They're just, it's a road well traveled and God bless them.

15:25🔗 Adam What is that?

15:26🔗 David Alan Grier No, I'm serious.

15:27🔗 Drew Why? I don't know. And what precipitates anal pathology in somebody who's getting anal sex?

15:33🔗 Caller I love that.

15:34🔗 David Alan Grier I'm going to use that on the line. I'm saying, look here, baby, I just want to get into your anal pathology.

15:38🔗 Drew It precipitates anal pathology.

15:56🔗 David Alan Grier That's nice. I like that.

15:57🔗 Thank you.

15:58🔗 Adam Brandon, you're 17. You're on with the very talented David Alan Grier.

16:04🔗 Caller How you doing, Brandon?

16:05🔗 David Alan Grier How's everything, man?

16:06🔗 Okay.

16:09🔗 Caller I was dating this girl about four months ago, and she called this guy from my cell phone once while I was with her, and he called me back because he didn't recognize the number, so he called me back on my way home from her house, and he asked me, he's like, what are you doing with my girlfriend? So I thought it was a joke at first. So then like we figured out that she was actually dating both of us at the same time.

16:39🔗 Drew What's your question?

16:41🔗 Caller Oh, and then, well, all that guy screwed up, and like he almost shot me because of it, and then I broke up with her, didn't talk to her for a while, and then she went to rehab, and I didn't know she went to rehab, and then she just got out of rehab, and now she's in the aftercare facility, and she called me to tell me that she's starting all this stuff.

17:02🔗 Drew That's good.

17:03🔗 Caller And I still, like, I didn't, I was, she told me she was doing drugs, like after I broke up with her, and I got mad because I don't do drugs, and I thought that was really bad.

17:14🔗 Drew Yeah, well she's an addict.

17:15🔗 Adam How old is she?

17:17🔗 Caller She is 15.

17:18🔗 Drew Oh boy. Yeah.

17:19🔗 Adam You got a handful here, Brandon.

17:21🔗 Caller Yeah, well hold on, hold on.

17:22🔗 David Alan Grier I say, Mike, you married this girl, because she's a keeper.

17:24🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm with David. Just because she's calling and making amends with you doesn't mean you should necessarily reestablish a relationship. In fact, it's not good for her to be rekindling relationships early in recovery. She needs to focus on her recovery and that's that.

17:35🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, especially in this period, because there's that afterglow right after you apologized to everybody.

17:40🔗 Drew Pink cloud.

17:41🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, that's right.

17:42🔗 Caller Now, Adam, you know what?

17:43🔗 David Alan Grier I was like, I could have smiled more when we were together before. You know, when I was all juiced up and stuff, when I was sniffing and puffing and stuff, you know, I'm just sorry, man.

17:51🔗 Caller Can I get a hug?

17:52🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, I love you, dude.

17:53🔗 Caller You know, because I think I took a swing at you in church last time I saw you, which was crazy.

17:59🔗 Can I get a hug, man? Great.

18:00🔗 David Alan Grier Okay. I love you guys.

18:02🔗 Adam You're feeling good. You're a little inflated. And then the day to day work of sobriety comes after that. Right.

18:10🔗 David Alan Grier And then you call them up. It's like, yes, hello.

18:13🔗 Caller The thing is though, nobody found out that she was doing drugs. She didn't get busted. She told her parents because she figured out that she needed some help.

18:20🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, let her work on her recovery. She needs at least six months of focus on that.

18:24🔗 Adam All right. Well, six months is 10 years.

18:26🔗 David Alan Grier Can I play devil's advocate here? I tell you what, Mikey, you tap that, oops, I'm sorry, Brandon. You tap that ass right about now, they are frisky little rabbits when they get out of that rehab place there. Ready to rock it.

18:38🔗 Drew David knows a little too much about recovery. It's kind of scary.

18:41🔗 David Alan Grier You know, I usually find a recovery place in my neighborhood, stand right near that exit door.

18:46🔗 Drew Because what happens is, what happens is when you take the drugs away from folks.

18:49🔗 Adam They got to replace it.

18:51🔗 They replace it with other sort of I'm telling you what the drug is, gentlemen.

18:54🔗 Drew Other other affect management strategies. So that becomes stealing, sex, shopping, extreme sports, that kind of thing. Thrill seeking.

19:04🔗 David Alan Grier They don't stop till they get enough. God bless them.

19:07🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree with David.

19:09🔗 Drew I'm shuddering.

19:10🔗 Adam All 15 year old ex-junkies need a good corn hole.

19:14🔗 Drew That's the way he's heading, right?

19:15🔗 Adam So, David.

19:17🔗 He's there.

19:18🔗 Adam He's signaling us.

19:18🔗 Drew Come on. He went on about the grape and then was clairvoyant about the addict behavior.

19:26🔗 Let me tell you two naysayers something, okay?

19:30🔗 Drew I'm not naysayin nothing.

19:31🔗 David Alan Grier When you're clean and sober like me, I was addicted to regurgitation before I got cured. You see no upt- Go ahead and play it, Mr. Man. Go ahead. Nothing. See here? Nothing.

19:42🔗 You're cured.

19:43🔗 David Alan Grier I am cured.

19:43🔗 Adam And horny.

19:46🔗 Wow.

19:47🔗 Adam Let me ask you something, David.

19:49🔗 What's up, man?

19:49🔗 Adam About the black man for just one second. Here's what I think.

19:52🔗 Caller No, brother.

19:53🔗 Adam The black man likes the ass. Likes the big ass. The bulbous ass.

19:58🔗 Caller Likes the booty.

20:00🔗 Adam Singing about it non-stop.

20:01🔗 David Alan Grier Absolutely. First of all, let's define that. What we're talking about, to a normal person, that's not a big ass. That is a planet.

20:10🔗 Caller I mean, we're talking huge ass, just huge.

20:17🔗 Adam Black guy likes a big ass.

20:18🔗 David Alan Grier Huge.

20:19🔗 Drew But not just...

20:21🔗 Caller It has to be bulbous.

20:22🔗 David Alan Grier You got to be able to put a tray of dishes on that booty and it ain't moving. I'm not like that, though. I'm not really not a booty guy. I like a girl with a little butt because it's only going to keep growing. So you start small.

20:33🔗 Caller That's right.

20:34🔗 David Alan Grier It's always been my mom.

20:35🔗 Adam Right. But let me ask you this, David, as a black man.

20:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:39🔗 Adam My take is the black man likes the bulbous ass and the large ass, but not the asshole so much. Likes the ass, not the hole.

20:47🔗 The gluteal muscle.

20:48🔗 Adam The white guy likes the small ass and the hole.

20:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

20:51🔗 David Alan Grier As a matter of fact, you guys like that boot walks irised out so it really looks like, what would I say, you could put a coffee can in there, move it around.

21:01🔗 Adam That's right. Use it as a cup holder for 64 ounces.

21:05🔗 Caller Oh yeah.

21:05🔗 Adam Yeah.

21:06🔗 For big, big goal.

21:07🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah. You're right about that. You're right about that.

21:10🔗 Adam It's ironic that the black man worships the ass, yet he's revolted by the asshole.

21:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

21:16🔗 David Alan Grier It doesn't get up in there and work it out.

21:18🔗 Adam Which is really the business end of the ass.

21:20🔗 David Alan Grier Absolutely, my friend.

21:21🔗 Adam But if you think about it, it makes a certain degree of sense because the bigger and more bulbous ass, the farther away you are from the hole.

21:28🔗 Caller You gotta dig deep.

21:29🔗 David Alan Grier And the flat ass, the hole is quarter inch from the crack.

21:33🔗 David Alan Grier The crack is like, I'm grabbing the mob, but, oh, there we go.

21:36🔗 Adam Right.

21:36🔗 Drew The sphincter becomes the piece that soils the hole.

21:39🔗 David Alan Grier That's right.

21:40🔗 Apparatus, yes.

21:41🔗 David Alan Grier Interesting. Now, Dr. Drew, again, back to anal sex.

21:44🔗 Adam I think we've really touched on something important, by the way. It's not just gloss over this.

21:49🔗 David Alan Grier Can that get stretched out back there? A little bit.

21:53🔗 Drew Not bad.

21:54🔗 David Alan Grier Now, he says that with such a knowing look.

21:57🔗 Drew Well, the deal is, I mean, you can tear, you can cause tearing and fissuring.

22:01🔗 David Alan Grier What I'm saying, do you see the picture I'm painting? Just a little droop.

22:04🔗 Caller Can that happen?

22:06🔗 Drew It happens to get older anyway, guys. Here's the deal. You know, there's a lot of things that happen with aging that people don't take into consideration when they're young. When they do drugs, when they put things in various orifices.

22:17🔗 David Alan Grier So you're saying don't date the 55-year-old crankhead, right?

22:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:21🔗 Caller No, I didn't say that.

22:22🔗 Drew I said don't have anal sex with her.

22:24🔗 Adam That's right. But let me tell you something. A lot of the chicks we talked to on this show, 17, 18, 19, by the time they're 50, you're going to have to wear one of those bags that the horses wear when they pull the carriages around Central Park, just a big dump bucket, just strapped to their ass. I know. Do they have those, Drew?

22:42🔗 Drew No, they're just the pants.

22:44🔗 Adam Oh, okay. The pants are beautiful. Chad?

22:47🔗 Yeah.

22:48🔗 Adam You're 20, what's up?

22:49🔗 Caller Not much, dude. I'm just chilling here in Austin, Texas and my girlfriend just took off and she went to this party with her other girlfriend.

22:56🔗 Drew I just left Houston this morning.

22:58🔗 Caller What's that?

22:58🔗 Drew Yeah.

22:58🔗 Adam Drew just left Houston this morning.

23:00🔗 Caller Oh, yeah?

23:01🔗 David Alan Grier That's great, Drew.

23:02🔗 Wow!

23:03🔗 Caller In fact, I just heard your show from yesterday.

23:05🔗 Adam Great.

23:05🔗 Caller With Vertical Horizon.

23:07🔗 Adam Fantastic.

23:08🔗 Caller Yeah. I don't have the CD yet, but I'm gonna get it.

23:10🔗 Adam All righty. Well, they're not here now, but go ahead.

23:13🔗 Caller So yeah, my girlfriend just left and she's taken X and I don't want her to take X, you know? Cause, you know, she promised she wouldn't take it again, but she's talking about doing it tonight.

23:25🔗 Adam Yeah. Why does she tell you?

23:28🔗 Caller Why did he call?

23:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

23:29🔗 Caller Why did you call?

23:31🔗 Adam Why did you call?

23:31🔗 Caller Well, because I'm asking, what does it do to her? Because she promised she wouldn't take it. And I also have another question.

23:36🔗 Adam Well, if she promised she wouldn't take it, why did she tell you she was gonna take it tonight?

23:40🔗 Caller I don't know.

23:41🔗 Adam Well, that doesn't make sense.

23:43🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, tell them what is ecstasy.

23:44🔗 Caller I mean, I'm pissed off about it.

23:45🔗 Drew All right, look, ecstasy, what's your other question? What's your other question?

23:48🔗 Caller Okay, well, my other question is that we've been having unprotected sex for like three weeks.

23:51🔗 Drew Nice.

23:52🔗 Caller And she's 16 years old and I'm 20.

23:54🔗 Drew Nice.

23:55🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, that's great.

23:56🔗 Caller But no, I mean, because we've been going out for four months. Oh, okay.

23:59🔗 Drew And we like each other a lot.

24:01🔗 Caller I mean, she's actually said she loved me and I love her, you know?

24:04🔗 Caller You are an asshole.

24:05🔗 Caller Ooh. No, no, no, no.

24:07🔗 Adam But listen, the fake grandpa's gonna come get you. She's a minor. Well, what's your question? What is she in the 11th grade?

24:13🔗 Caller So we've been having unprotected sex and someone's been talking about the shot, getting a shot.

24:18🔗 Drew Depo-Provera shot, yeah.

24:19🔗 Caller And it lasts for like three months.

24:21🔗 Drew Correct.

24:21🔗 Caller How does this work?

24:22🔗 Drew I mean, it just suppresses ovulation. You just go to a doctor, get the shot and go to Planned Parenthood. They can give it to you. In fact, these longer acting, very effective means of contraception are the reason the teen pregnancy rate is dropping in this country. We think the statistics suggest that.

24:35🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, but Dr. Drew, isn't he jumping around a subject to subject?

24:38🔗 Drew Yeah. And the other thing was the ecstasy deal with an ecstasy. I'm sure you've heard me say before, it's a drug that has been shown very clearly to cause damage to the brain, particularly in the area called the limbic system. The serotonin cells will actually drop out. Pet scans show absent activity in that area and you get depression, panic attacks, anxiety, and memory problems.

24:56🔗 Adam You've been doing the good stuff.

24:58🔗 David Alan Grier What about when you're fully formed and a little older?

25:01🔗 Adam Yeah, your brain is already dried.

25:02🔗 Caller And you do act like you want stress a year?

25:04🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, just a social thing.

25:06🔗 Caller Not a good thing.

25:07🔗 Caller Well, what could happen to you?

25:08🔗 Adam Just because Pop Dad gave me some or something like that.

25:10🔗 Caller Depression, panic attacks.

25:11🔗 Caller Depression, panic attacks, okay. Oh boy, I'm gonna freak out.

25:14🔗 David Alan Grier Start vomiting.

25:15🔗 Caller Start vomiting.

25:16🔗 Caller Go, keep talking, keep taunting me, you bastard.

25:19🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, no uptuck here, baby.

25:22🔗 Adam David Alan Grier is our guest tonight. We're gonna take a little break. DAG's name is New Show.

25:26🔗 David Alan Grier Hit Show.

25:27🔗 Adam Hit New Show.

25:28🔗 Caller Say it, man. Who's they? Say it, Adam.

25:32🔗 Adam Hit Show.

25:34🔗 Caller Hit Show on NBC.

25:35🔗 Adam Runaway.

25:36🔗 Caller Hit Show on NBC.

25:37🔗 Adam On a regular channel.

25:39🔗 Caller A 930.

25:41🔗 Adam Isn't that great too? Now your parents could go, oh, you're on a regular channel. You're on a normal channel. Real? Yes, as my parents, yes, my parents refer to that on rare occasion when I do end up on a real TV station. Oh, you're on a real station. I can watch that.

25:57🔗 David Alan Grier Station, not network. I go, mom and son, NBC.

25:59🔗 Caller What channel is that, son?

26:00🔗 Adam That's station.

26:01🔗 Caller Is that for? OK, then, because we're in Detroit. All right, we'll be back.

26:48🔗 Caller Hey, it's the Loveline.

26:49🔗 Adam I'm Adam Corolla.

26:50🔗 Caller And I'm Dr. Drew Pinsky, Doctor of Addiction Medicine. You know, anything can cause addiction, Adam. Did you know that?

26:58🔗 Adam No, I wasn't aware of that.

27:00🔗 Caller My triplet boys are addicted to seeing me. That's why I always have to go home.

27:05🔗 Adam That's a good one.

27:06🔗 Caller Thanks a lot, Adam.

27:07🔗 Adam You've never been that funny. David Alan Grier is our guest tonight.

27:10🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

27:11🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, what's going on?

27:13🔗 Caller Nothing at all, David.

27:17🔗 Adam Oh, look who's back.

27:17🔗 Caller Not much.

27:19🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, I was doing both voices.

27:21🔗 Caller You guys busted me.

27:22🔗 Adam You had him. David Alan's got himself a new hit, smash hit series on a network. Nine o'clock Tuesday nights. It's called Dark.

27:37🔗 No, why do you hate me?

27:40🔗 David Alan Grier You know, you guys are much better spirits.

27:43🔗 David Alan Grier This visit, guys, because you know, I'm you know, I'm a little white, white room.

27:47🔗 Drew When he has to work, he is held to live with. Yeah.

27:51🔗 David Alan Grier But you hate to work.

27:52🔗 David Alan Grier You didn't get married. Did you, Adam?

27:53🔗 Adam No.

27:54🔗 No.

27:54🔗 Adam Are we living together by the way, Drew?

27:56🔗 Drew No. We just seem like we work together. He's doing that. They got damn man show.

28:01🔗 David Alan Grier That's still on.

28:03🔗 Drew No, it was canceled long ago.

28:04🔗 David Alan Grier No, stop it.

28:05🔗 Adam How dare you? The man show is still on.

28:08🔗 David Alan Grier Adam, let's get into Dr. Drew's little addiction, your work addiction. Now, last time I talked to you, your kids were calling you Uncle Daddy, cause Daddy wasn't home.

28:15🔗 Adam That's right.

28:16🔗 David Alan Grier So how's that going?

28:17🔗 Drew Why? I'm gonna start crying.

28:19🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, stop. Are you said you're only working 19 hours a day? Who?

28:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Drew, Drew's scared not to work because he cannot stand the sound of silence.

28:29🔗 David Alan Grier I know what you mean.

28:30🔗 Adam He likes to hear money jingling. And if he just hears this, if he's left alone with his own thoughts for more than five minutes, You told me you guys were in the car and it's like Adam pull over.

28:40🔗 David Alan Grier There's an addict. I gotta go help him.

28:42🔗 Drew No, no, no. Are you kidding? When we're in a car, here's how it goes.

28:47🔗 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

28:51🔗 Drew Again, please.

28:51🔗 Caller Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

28:56🔗 Drew That's what every, that's what every, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, every, every voyage in a vehicle. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's what it sounds like to me.

29:04🔗 Adam But what about what about the six hour plane flight?

29:08🔗 Drew It goes like this. Wait, David, hang on a second.

29:10🔗 Caller A little bit more blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

29:14🔗 Drew And then that's it is silence. And yes, you look over at him. There's that sound. And he has, you know, you remember Gilligan's Island. Lovey would wear those eyeshades with the big, he has a pair of those.

29:24🔗 David Alan Grier Let me do my impression of Adam waking up.

29:27🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, hey, all you crankhead 15 year old, stop screwing your dad. Oh, you screwing up, you guys, leaving your family.

29:43🔗 David Alan Grier Adam, are you seeing anyone now?

29:44🔗 David Alan Grier No.

29:45🔗 David Alan Grier You got a little honey bunny?

29:46🔗 David Alan Grier No.

29:46🔗 David Alan Grier A little piece of cupcake at home?

29:48🔗 David Alan Grier You know what I'm talking about, baby.

29:50🔗 Drew How about, Dave, what's your situation?

29:52🔗 David Alan Grier I am seeing someone. It's a little tumultuous, though.

29:55🔗 Drew Really? Oh, this is where the addict thing came in.

29:57🔗 David Alan Grier No, that's not what I'm talking about.

29:59🔗 Drew You got her outside of promises.

30:00🔗 Caller Let me say something.

30:02🔗 David Alan Grier You know me so well.

30:03🔗 I used to do that, though, because I like the cookie girls, you know.

30:06🔗 David Alan Grier Always got something wrong.

30:08🔗 Adam David gets a little freakier every time I see him.

30:11🔗 David Alan Grier No, this time I don't think I've found it. I think, you know, I think it's best to describe my situation with a song.

30:18🔗 Caller I think I finally got it right, my friend.

30:23🔗 Drew It's also a little too into musicals. It scares me a little.

30:46🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you.

30:47🔗 Drew You're gay. I moved.

30:50🔗 David Alan Grier Let's help the babies.

30:51🔗 Caller Let's help the children.

30:52🔗 Adam That was beautiful.

30:53🔗 David Alan Grier Take some calls, Adam, man.

30:55🔗 Adam Tina. You're 25.

30:58🔗 Caller Yes.

30:59🔗 Adam Whatever your question is, please do not inspire David Alan to break in the song.

31:04🔗 Caller I'll try not to.

31:05🔗 Caller Go ahead.

31:06🔗 Caller I want to know if use of a vibrator can desensitize a woman and make it harder for her to climb it.

31:14🔗 Drew Yeah, it can.

31:14🔗 Caller No, it can't.

31:15🔗 Drew Yeah, it can.

31:16🔗 Caller No, it can't.

31:16🔗 Drew Yeah, it can.

31:16🔗 Caller No, it can't.

31:18🔗 Drew Yeah, it can.

31:19🔗 Adam Have you found that it's happened with you, Tina?

31:21🔗 It's concentrating.

31:23🔗 Caller I've never been able to climax having sex with a man. I've never been able to climax having sex with a man.

31:30🔗 Drew Which is common, especially your age.

31:31🔗 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

31:32🔗 Drew In fact, let's say normal.

31:34🔗 David Alan Grier A lot of guys just get to the poking.

31:36🔗 Adam What about oral sex? Can you have an orgasm?

31:40🔗 Caller Either way, I can't. No, I can't.

31:41🔗 Drew Not with a partner. Not with a partner. We're utilizing some of your equipment.

31:45🔗 Caller Right.

31:46🔗 Caller Yeah, but I usually finish up myself.

31:49🔗 David Alan Grier What are they? Are they there?

31:52🔗 David Alan Grier No, they're not there. You've never done it. Have you ever used your vibrator with your partner? You know, kind of let the brother just lay back and let mama get all you know what I'm saying? Put on a little show for brother. Have you? Have you done that?

32:04🔗 Caller You like? Yes, I have.

32:05🔗 David Alan Grier Do you live in the LA area? No. Has that like helped out a little bit?

32:13🔗 Caller Well, after I have spikes, it's much easier for me to climax using my toy, whatever you want to call it.

32:18🔗 Adam Right. The juices are flowing. What about a compromise? What about if the guy shoves a vibrator up his ass and then enters you?

32:24🔗 Drew Oh, wow.

32:25🔗 Adam That might be a compromise.

32:27🔗 Caller Ew.

32:28🔗 David Alan Grier Have you used a vibrator while a guy's inside you?

32:31🔗 Caller No.

32:32🔗 Caller Try that.

32:32🔗 Caller I don't have that type.

32:34🔗 Drew No.

32:36🔗 Caller I don't have that type.

32:37🔗 Drew Type of vibrator.

32:38🔗 David Alan Grier Well, wait a minute. If you're on all fours and he's like pounding away, you just put that bad boy right on the love button and press that button.

32:43🔗 Ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra. Ka-bam!

32:46🔗 David Alan Grier Yo, baby!

32:47🔗 Woo!

32:48🔗 Adam Oh, wait a second. You don't have to be on all fours. You can be on your back and put it on your clitoris.

32:53🔗 Caller My other question is this.

32:55🔗 Adam Can't you? Wait a minute, Tina. What type do you have?

32:59🔗 Caller The ones I have aren't the ones that would go in.

33:03🔗 Caller No, no, no, no.

33:04🔗 David Alan Grier I said you do it while your partner is inside you.

33:07🔗 Adam He gets in you and you isolate the vibrating action on another part. Right.

33:13🔗 Caller Okay. No, I've never tried that.

33:14🔗 Adam Is he saying? Now, when you use the vibrator, do you put it in you or do you put it on you?

33:20🔗 Caller On.

33:20🔗 Adam On. All right. So you put it on while he's in and then you have your orgasm.

33:26🔗 Drew There you go.

33:26🔗 Caller Well, let me ask you this.

33:28🔗 Adam Will you do that for us, please? Hold on.

33:29🔗 Drew Here's another question.

33:31🔗 Adam The guy will not mind.

33:32🔗 Caller Is it possible for me to have an orgasm and not know it? I have my hood pierced.

33:36🔗 Drew Oh, boy.

33:37🔗 Caller And since I've had that done, I noticed that I will not be doing anything and I will all of a sudden just be really wet, dripping, things like that. Is it possible for me to have an orgasm and not know it?

33:50🔗 David Alan Grier I think that's an infection. But tell her the thing. Why would you have your hood pierced or your clitoris pierced?

33:56🔗 Caller My hood.

33:57🔗 Right.

33:58🔗 Adam On the other hand, that's not a bad place because I get lost down there. And if I had some sort of- A marker.

34:04🔗 Caller Marker.

34:05🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, you wanted a little ring with a bell on it.

34:07🔗 Adam Yeah.

34:08🔗 Drew No, he wanted an arrow.

34:10🔗 Adam Eat it, Joe's. It would flash. No, the point is, you know, a half inch under the hoop, you've struck a hole. Oh, boy. Drew, knock it off.

34:21🔗 David Alan Grier That was a close one.

34:22🔗 Adam Hey, Tina, here's the plan. You get your boyfriend in you, put the vibrator on you, and I bet you'll have an orgasm.

34:29🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, you can't. It's not going to desensitize you.

34:33🔗 Drew Do you want to explore why the hoops and-

34:35🔗 Adam Yeah. What's up with you? What do you mean? Why are you so crazy?

34:39🔗 David Alan Grier Why do you have to be crazy to have your-

34:41🔗 Adam You do.

34:42🔗 Caller You're headed your vagpiers.

34:43🔗 Adam You do.

34:44🔗 David Alan Grier You do not.

34:44🔗 Adam Yes, you do.

34:45🔗 David Alan Grier No, you don't.

34:46🔗 Adam I know you had yours done in high school, but you were drunk.

34:49🔗 Drew You have issues.

34:50🔗 Adam Yes.

34:51🔗 David Alan Grier What issues do you have, dear?

34:54🔗 Caller My first encounter with sex, I was raped.

34:55🔗 Drew How old were you?

34:57🔗 Caller I don't have a very good opinion of men.

34:59🔗 Drew How old were you when you first-

35:00🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, I'm going to step outside now.

35:01🔗 Drew I was 21. Nothing happened before, then? We were physically abused or anything like that?

35:07🔗 David Alan Grier No.

35:07🔗 Drew Was this a clitoral piercing part of the-

35:10🔗 David Alan Grier No, she said the hood, not the clit.

35:13🔗 David Alan Grier What kind of doctor is that? Yeah, hood, clit. It's all this thing there, Dave.

35:18🔗 Adam Yeah, when you have to take the right hand, the left hand.

35:20🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, it's all this. It's your body.

35:22🔗 Drew The deal, though, is, is that part of your attempt to sort of gain mastery over your feelings about the rape, or is that something you had already? The piercing.

35:31🔗 Caller No, I recently was to got that.

35:33🔗 Drew The piercing. So this could be about the rape.

35:35🔗 Caller I pierced myself quite a bit.

35:37🔗 Drew Oh, so you were nobody ever raised their hands to you when you were a kid?

35:41🔗 Caller No, not really.

35:42🔗 Drew Oh, come on. Oh, come on.

35:43🔗 Caller Why were you a virgin at 21?

35:45🔗 David Alan Grier Don't be bullied by these bastards, honey. There you go. Stick to your story, honey. Don't let them get it out of you. They used to be LA cops.

35:52🔗 Adam You need to stick to your story. What were you beaten with, a switch or a Bible?

35:56🔗 Caller Neither.

35:56🔗 Adam Who beat on you?

35:58🔗 Caller My parents. Yeah.

35:59🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, Adam, did you and Dr. Drew work on the McMartin School case?

36:02🔗 Caller Cause I see a pattern here.

36:04🔗 David Alan Grier Draw a picture, honey.

36:06🔗 Caller Make a little skeleton, man.

36:07🔗 Adam What was he doing to you? Is that lamb chop or a penis?

36:12🔗 David Alan Grier But now why don't you have a good, I understand you don't have a good opinion of men. Do you only sleep with guys or do you double-dipping or what's going on?

36:20🔗 Caller I've experienced. I'm not preference to women, but I've experienced.

36:24🔗 Adam All right. So Tina, basically here's your life in a nutshell. You come from a very religious family. Your parents are very uptight. They're slightly physically abusive. You are very pious and you're under their thumb. And then you got raped at 21 and just opened the floodgates and you started the piercing and the experimentation and basically went nuts. Right. Your vagina went on a rampage. Sure. OK. So what's the deal? Is it was it it was a physical abuse before you were 21? Is that a little bit?

36:56🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

36:57🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:57🔗 David Alan Grier Isn't a rape.

36:58🔗 Adam What happened to her?

36:58🔗 David Alan Grier Isn't a rape.

36:59🔗 Drew Who raped you? People who are raped usually were victimized before.

37:02🔗 Caller My friend's husband.

37:03🔗 Adam Oh, did you ever bring him to do?

37:07🔗 David Alan Grier I'll say no.

37:09🔗 Caller No, no.

37:10🔗 Drew In three notes.

37:10🔗 No, no.

37:12🔗 Adam Never said anything. Why not?

37:15🔗 Caller Because I told one person, I told a couple of people and they told me I was lying and I decided it was easier to stop it.

37:20🔗 Caller All right. All right.

37:21🔗 Adam So all right. So, Tina, listen, we're going to let you go. But here's the deal. You got bigger issues than the orgasm and the vibrator.

37:29🔗 Caller That's what I want to know about.

37:30🔗 All right.

37:30🔗 Adam Well, I told you, use the vibrator while you have some stranger mounting you.

37:35🔗 Drew That took two seconds.

37:36🔗 All right.

37:36🔗 Adam The other stuff is going to take a little therapy and a little soul search and all that stuff. Because you want to get a good guy and get married and all that stuff one day, don't you?

37:44🔗 David Alan Grier Have your relationships been healthy with good guys or what?

37:47🔗 Adam No, no, no.

37:47🔗 David Alan Grier Excuse me, Mr. Flappy Lipperton. I think I was talking to a woman here.

37:52🔗 Drew Sorry, Flappy Lipperton.

37:54🔗 Adam That's right. It's Flappy McLipperton, I think is what we call him. Hey, Tina, speaking of Mick, that's a good one for an Irish guy. Tina, have you had good relationships with men?

38:04🔗 Drew No.

38:04🔗 Adam Alright, so why don't you do a little work on yourself so you can have that. Don't you want that? Yes, you do. Thank you. And I bet you the orgasms will follow.

38:14🔗 David Alan Grier They will come.

38:14🔗 Adam You'll find a guy, you'll fall in love, you'll get a little healthier.

38:17🔗 David Alan Grier I just said they will come, the orgasms will come.

38:20🔗 Drew Get it?

38:24🔗 David Alan Grier Man, I feel so great. I've been here for 40 minutes and regurgitation free. I think I'm going to make it to midnight.

38:32🔗 Drew Very good.

38:34🔗 Adam James.

38:35🔗 Drew And we thank you.

38:37🔗 Adam James, you're 19. What's up?

38:39🔗 Caller Yeah, I have a couple of questions.

38:40🔗 Adam Alright, hurry.

38:41🔗 Caller I was watching the man show and I was wondering what happened to the fox?

38:44🔗 Adam Fox is dead.

38:45🔗 Caller He died?

38:46🔗 Adam Yes.

38:47🔗 Caller Okay.

38:48🔗 Drew Was it prostate cancer?

38:49🔗 Adam Yeah, I think it was.

38:51🔗 Drew Wasn't liver disease amazing?

38:52🔗 Adam No, no, not from alcohol.

38:53🔗 David Alan Grier Who was the fox?

38:54🔗 Adam He was the jovial man who played the piano and sung dirty songs on the fabulous first season of the man show, second season. Of course, he passed away.

39:04🔗 David Alan Grier It's interesting. Adam never invited me on the man show.

39:07🔗 Adam We're suing his family because we had a two-year contract with him.

39:10🔗 Caller Well, business is business.

39:11🔗 Caller David wants to be on the trampoline.

39:13🔗 Caller Well, I think that someone's avoiding the issue.

39:15🔗 Adam Oh, yes. We're going to have David on the third season.

39:18🔗 David Alan Grier Okay. I don't know if I can fit it in my schedule now that I have my own hit show on a real network.

39:23🔗 Adam This will be in a few weeks.

39:25🔗 David Alan Grier Okay.

39:25🔗 Adam James? Yeah. You're 19. What's up? What's going on?

39:30🔗 Caller I masturbate.

39:31🔗 Caller Shocking.

39:34🔗 Caller And when I climax...

39:37🔗 Adam Yes.

39:38🔗 Caller Sorry about that.

39:39🔗 Caller A couple of seconds after, I just have this urge to pee.

39:43🔗 Drew Yeah, that's an irritant. The semen irritates the urethra.

39:46🔗 Adam Every guy does that.

39:47🔗 Drew A lot of it. It's a more or less degree.

39:49🔗 David Alan Grier So Dr. Drew, is that is that similar to the irritable esophagus syndrome?

39:55🔗 Adam No, you blow it out. That's what you do. I mean, that's the way we're set up biologically, right?

40:02🔗 Drew Sometimes it's a little spasm of those muscles that cause the semen to come out, but more often it's actually just irritation.

40:07🔗 Adam But Drew, is it important to any degree that a man after he ejaculates urinates?

40:13🔗 Drew No.

40:14🔗 Adam I mean, physiologically?

40:15🔗 Drew No.

40:16🔗 Adam No, it's not good for you. Would it prevent anything? Do you know what I'm saying?

40:20🔗 Drew There's a theory, yeah, that perhaps you could clear the urethra.

40:24🔗 Adam Yeah, I mean, let's say, this is a crazy thought.

40:27🔗 David Alan Grier I'm going to tag team on your wonderful idea, Adam. Say, Dr. Drew, I just came a bucket, you know, and I take a little glass pipette and you ram it up the old penile stem and I force some water into my bladder.

40:45🔗 Drew Literally, that is like saying, is that crazy? That's like saying, no, Adam has a cold, he blows his nose, I shake his hand, I wipe my nose, then go, oh my God, and try rinsing my nose out to get the virus out of my nose.

40:57🔗 David Alan Grier So in other words, I'm on the right track.

40:59🔗 Adam Yes, I think he is.

41:00🔗 David Alan Grier Is that what I'm getting from you?

41:01🔗 Drew No.

41:02🔗 Adam But Drew, wouldn't it be healthy, let's say our friend David Alan Grier here did have some sex with his partner, he came a bucket, and yet even though he was done with his orgasm, he still had a little fecal matter up in his urethra. Wouldn't he want to urinate and push that out? Wouldn't that be important? So it is healthy, David.

41:24🔗 David Alan Grier I told you I wanted to do that the last time we were together. And you told me not to.

41:32🔗 Adam I told you I was clean, man. And that if you loved me, you would listen to what I said, give me a beer and go to bed.

41:39🔗 David Alan Grier You know, my pet name for Adam over there is Dingleberry.

41:45🔗 Caller Oh my goodness.

41:47🔗 Adam We will take ourselves a little break. What is it with these breaks?

41:51🔗 David Alan Grier Can't you stay on for more than 37 seconds? There are kids out here that need your help. Caller 5, I'll take it. Honey, put it through, yeah? Go ahead.

41:59🔗 Adam We'll be right back.

42:03🔗 We'll be right back.

42:04🔗 Caller Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

42:22🔗 You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

42:47🔗 Adam It's a love line. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew, David Alan Grier is our guest tonight. DANG is the name of the show. Big Hit, Real Network, comedy.

42:58🔗 David Alan Grier Zany Nabi, Uncircumcised Hit. I'm talking about man.

43:03🔗 Adam Tuesday night, nine o'clock.

43:05🔗 David Alan Grier Nine thirty, you bastard.

43:07🔗 Adam I thought it was nine.

43:08🔗 David Alan Grier Guys, stand up right now.

43:09🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, Adam, stand up. Come on. I want you all to put your hands over your head and go, go, go, go.

43:17🔗 Caller Loveline rules.

43:18🔗 Caller Loveline rules.

43:19🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, sit down, take a deep breath, and let's take some calls. Guys, do you feel energized?

43:23🔗 Adam Yeah, I do.

43:24🔗 David Alan Grier That was a little Richard Simmons moment there.

43:26🔗 Adam Laura?

43:27🔗 David Alan Grier Yes.

43:27🔗 Adam You're twenty?

43:28🔗 David Alan Grier Yes, I am.

43:29🔗 Adam What's up?

43:30🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, my first question is for Dr. Drew. I am eight months pregnant right now, and I'm just wondering if after I have a baby and I'm breastfeeding, if I am able to take birth control.

43:47🔗 Drew Yeah, you can. And to some extent, birth control is its own natural birth control, but you still could get pregnant. So, yeah, women do normally get on the pill within a month or so.

43:55🔗 David Alan Grier You don't get a pass on that.

43:57🔗 Caller Birth control is its own.

43:58🔗 Drew No, I'm sorry. Breastfeeding is its own birth control.

44:00🔗 David Alan Grier No, you said birth control is its own birth control.

44:03🔗 Drew That's how tired I am.

44:06🔗 Adam You're eight months pregnant?

44:07🔗 Caller Yeah, I am.

44:08🔗 Adam And...

44:09🔗 David Alan Grier You're horny all the time?

44:10🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:11🔗 David Alan Grier How'd you know that?

44:12🔗 Caller But wait a minute. How'd you know that?

44:13🔗 David Alan Grier Because I love the pregnant girl.

44:15🔗 Drew He's into that.

44:16🔗 David Alan Grier I do. Were you recently in rehab?

44:18🔗 David Alan Grier What? No.

44:19🔗 Drew And that's one of God's great mischievous acts is to make the very pregnant women very...

44:25🔗 David Alan Grier But this was before I was pregnant. I mean, it's been for, like, since I was, like, a teenager.

44:29🔗 Adam I see. And is your husband...

44:31🔗 David Alan Grier But has it increased, though?

44:33🔗 David Alan Grier Well, I'm not married, but, yeah, it's majorly increased.

44:37🔗 David Alan Grier Isn't that hormonal? Is that hormonal?

44:39🔗 Drew Tell me about just the passive congestion in that area. I think swell up down there.

44:42🔗 David Alan Grier But let me ask you something, Drew, because weren't you telling me that in the third trimester, when you keep to the banging, isn't it true that the baby can actually be born with a knot right on his head? Because you're banging him in there, you know?

44:53🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

44:54🔗 Adam Depending on how he's positioned.

44:57🔗 David Alan Grier If I'm actually not having like intercourse while I'm pregnant because the husband, my boy, my fiance is not around.

45:05🔗 Drew Is what?

45:05🔗 David Alan Grier He's not here at the moment.

45:07🔗 Drew Right.

45:07🔗 David Alan Grier He hasn't been here for the whole pregnancy.

45:10🔗 Adam Wednesday in parole.

45:13🔗 David Alan Grier That was funny.

45:16🔗 Caller Well, Dr. Drew, that was funny.

45:21🔗 Adam Let me say something. I'll tell you why I don't like David Alan Grier.

45:25🔗 Caller He's really...

45:30🔗 Adam David Alan Grier is really the only guess that's funnier than I am. I rarely admit this, but he really is a lot more funnier than I do.

45:38🔗 Caller Oh, yes, they're funnier than I am too.

45:41🔗 David Alan Grier They're from Detroit too.

45:42🔗 Caller What up?

45:43🔗 David Alan Grier Insign, Clown, Posse, whoo!

45:46🔗 Adam Hold on, Anderson just mentioned Andy Dick. So anyway...

45:49🔗 Caller Bobcat, both way.

45:50🔗 Adam Okay, okay, and Bobcat, both way. Okay, so here's my point.

45:53🔗 Caller Here's...

45:53🔗 Adam I don't resent David Alan so much anymore. No, listen, I am funnier in Bobcat and David Alan, but not Violent J.

46:01🔗 David Alan Grier Violent J, was he for real when he was talking about when he was crazy and they had to send him away and all that stuff?

46:07🔗 Caller You are an asshole.

46:08🔗 Caller Oh, I love that dude.

46:10🔗 David Alan Grier Can I meet him? I wanted to come down to the studio, but I thought that would be like a punk move. I wanted to check him out.

46:15🔗 He was wild.

46:17🔗 Caller He is crazy.

46:18🔗 Adam Play a little of that, Violent J.

46:20🔗 Caller The only way I lift is my own, my big fat ass every day when I wake up.

46:25🔗 David Alan Grier That was pretty good.

46:29🔗 Caller He played that again.

46:32🔗 David Alan Grier I am a little scared though.

46:34🔗 Drew Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

46:36🔗 Adam You should be more than a little scared.

46:37🔗 Drew Be very afraid. Be a lot scared.

46:39🔗 David Alan Grier I was actually, I was watching Public Access one night and it was Insane Clown Posse and they were doing a porno movie or something.

46:46🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

46:47🔗 Caller Like they were like, Are you sure that these pornos-

46:50🔗 Caller Wrestler guys that are on Public Access or something?

46:52🔗 David Alan Grier And it was Colin and his horny friends or you know the dude.

46:55🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

46:55🔗 David Alan Grier And they were like on the porno set in Insane Clown Posse. We were tag teaming this girl. Tag teaming this girl.

47:00🔗 Drew Nice. What kind of crap do you watch, David?

47:03🔗 David Alan Grier I watch everything, man.

47:04🔗 Drew You know what?

47:05🔗 David Alan Grier I have really a lot of trouble sleeping. Can you recommend something that?

47:08🔗 Drew No, no. He is bipolar. He is bipolar.

47:11🔗 David Alan Grier I think I am, man, because I get juiced up, you know, and I'm like, I can't sleep. I am and I stay up to like four or five in the morning.

47:18🔗 Caller Yeah, he speaks.

47:20🔗 David Alan Grier Why does why is it bipolar? Everything you try and diagnose everything, Dr. Drew, you don't ever experience people getting angry. Yeah.

47:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

47:27🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah. You know, your wife goes morning.

47:30🔗 Caller Little on edge.

47:31🔗 Drew Yeah.

47:32🔗 Adam Just like the parents.

47:33🔗 Drew It's not called PMS. It's a premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Yeah.

47:36🔗 David Alan Grier Now what does that mean?

47:37🔗 Drew PMDD. It means PMMS. What does that mean?

47:39🔗 David Alan Grier Man.

47:40🔗 Adam Man. Hold on. Let's get back to Laura.

47:42🔗 David Alan Grier Thanks, sir. I'm sorry. Laura, she's masturbating.

47:44🔗 Adam I see. So your husband's not around. Your fiance is not around. Where is he?

47:49🔗 David Alan Grier Well, he's in jail.

47:51🔗 David Alan Grier I knew it.

47:52🔗 Adam And when does he get out?

47:55🔗 David Alan Grier He doesn't get out till next year sometime.

47:56🔗 Adam I see. And did you get pregnant via a conjugal visit?

47:59🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, before he got it.

48:00🔗 Adam Before he went in? Yeah.

48:02🔗 Caller Laura, how old are you?

48:03🔗 David Alan Grier And I haven't had sex with anybody else or done anything with anybody else. I've, you know, but it's just really been really bad lately that I've really wanted to do.

48:11🔗 David Alan Grier What's in the joint for, baby?

48:14🔗 David Alan Grier Just for some stuff that happened a long time ago.

48:15🔗 Caller Really?

48:16🔗 David Alan Grier And what kind of stuff?

48:16🔗 Adam I see.

48:17🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah. What kind of stuff, baby? Why are you covering for him? I mean, we don't know who you are.

48:22🔗 David Alan Grier I know. I'm just, you know, it's just, it's really nothing important.

48:25🔗 Caller I mean, well, I think it is important enough.

48:27🔗 Drew Yeah, it's shaming to acknowledge what it really is.

48:30🔗 David Alan Grier What did he do?

48:30🔗 David Alan Grier Well, he just, he was involved in with some friends and he was there. And they had a gun.

48:36🔗 David Alan Grier They had a gun. What'd they do with the gun?

48:37🔗 David Alan Grier They pointed it at somebody and asked them for, you know, for stuff or whatever.

48:41🔗 David Alan Grier That's called robbery.

48:42🔗 David Alan Grier Robbery, I believe.

48:43🔗 Caller Is your last name Denial, Laura?

48:46🔗 David Alan Grier Get your fingers out of your twaddy and listen up, honey. Get your life together.

48:50🔗 Caller What the hell's going on here?

48:52🔗 David Alan Grier He was with some friends.

48:53🔗 David Alan Grier They had a gun. They pointed it at somebody. That's robbery.

48:56🔗 David Alan Grier See, this all happened before I was with him.

48:58🔗 Adam I see.

48:59🔗 David Alan Grier Also, therefore, you said, I'll take the robber in the corner, impregnate me. I did.

49:03🔗 David Alan Grier I did cure him. Honestly, he has completely made a turnaround even before he was in jail, even before.

49:09🔗 David Alan Grier Right now in jail, he's knitting and getting corn hold.

49:12🔗 Adam That's right. He found Jesus and Salt Peter.

49:15🔗 David Alan Grier And he found me. That's what he found.

49:18🔗 David Alan Grier Laura, how old are you? How old are you, Laura?

49:20🔗 David Alan Grier I'm 20 years old.

49:21🔗 Drew Let me ask you something.

49:22🔗 How long have you been blind, deaf, and dumb?

49:24🔗 David Alan Grier I can't take it Adam.

49:26🔗 Adam David's disgusted with the two of you. It's you and your infant.

49:29🔗 David Alan Grier You guys all know that if a woman can turn you around, you would damn well go ahead and do it. You know it damn well.

49:37🔗 Drew Laura, let me assure you that there is no such relationship.

49:41🔗 Adam And let me explain.

49:41🔗 David Alan Grier Hold up, hold up, Mr. Naysayer. What Laura here is talking about is a pill and it contains a drug called LOVE. But you wouldn't know anything about that, Mr. Cynical.

49:54🔗 David Alan Grier Would you, Dr. Mann?

49:56🔗 David Alan Grier Because your medicine, you can't manufacture that, can you?

49:59🔗 David Alan Grier You witch doctor.

50:01🔗 Adam I thought you were with Drew.

50:01🔗 Drew I thought you were sickened.

50:03🔗 Adam Hey, Laura, listen, we don't need turning around. I know.

50:07🔗 Caller I'm not saying anything about it.

50:08🔗 Adam But listen.

50:09🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, Adam, we like to turn those girls around, don't we?

50:11🔗 Adam Yes, we do.

50:12🔗 Caller Give me a high five on the cornhole.

50:16🔗 Adam Listen, Laura, when the guy gets out, just promise me this. If he's a good daddy and a good husband and all that stuff, fine. But if he starts getting in trouble again, you get away from him. When he does.

50:27🔗 David Alan Grier Between the hole, baby.

50:30🔗 Caller You know what?

50:31🔗 David Alan Grier Please don't play back my voice to me, because that is really upsetting.

50:35🔗 Drew Yeah, that's really upsetting.

50:38🔗 Adam I like to hear Laura's description of Arson. He made a flame and then he put the flame down and then this place that has a roof on it. And then it made more flames that were bigger.

50:50🔗 David Alan Grier Are you like he was with these guys who had a match and they threw it on this homeless guy and somehow a gasoline was involved? He got busted. I don't know.

50:58🔗 Adam We'll be back.

51:20🔗 Outrageous Talk Radio, 100.7, The Buzz, KTVC, Seattle. KTVC, Seattle.

51:41🔗 Adam You're on the Ultra Hot David Alan Grier.

51:47🔗 David Alan Grier Boy, guys, I just want to warn you, Dr. Drew, my medication is...

51:51🔗 I can see...

51:52🔗 David Alan Grier .kinda worn off. It's white-knuckle time, guys, because I made it that first hour. I'm just trying to make it to mid...

52:00🔗 Caller You okay?

52:03🔗 Caller Midnight, without having an accident.

52:05🔗 David Alan Grier So let's power through and take some calls.

52:07🔗 Adam Okay, you up to it?

52:08🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, I'm fine. You know, it'll help me, though, just don't... I think you were talking, you know, about, you know what, last time, and I kind of triggered the whole episode.

52:16🔗 Adam Vomiting?

52:19🔗 David Alan Grier I don't even want to repeat it, because, you know, then that's gonna start all over again.

52:22🔗 Adam All right, I'm sorry, I just... You know, we do a radio show, people get it out.

52:24🔗 David Alan Grier Right, it was about you, it was about your personal hygiene.

52:27🔗 Adam My boyfriend had such a huge shlong that he scrambled my anus.

52:32🔗 Caller Oh, come on. Oh, no.

52:34🔗 Caller Just breathe, just breathe.

52:36🔗 Adam Okay, Debbi, do you say, if you feel like you got to do something, you just turn over, just turn to the right there, so you can miss the console there.

52:44🔗 Caller Brett? Yes.

52:45🔗 Adam You're 21.

52:46🔗 Caller Yes.

52:47🔗 Adam What's up?

52:47🔗 Caller What's going on?

52:48🔗 Caller What do you want?

52:51🔗 Caller Well, two of my female friends and I kind of engaged in a threesome tonight. And we all worked in the same place, and we were talking about it.

53:02🔗 Drew Restaurant.

53:03🔗 Caller And we came home and we're drinking, and one thing led to another.

53:08🔗 Adam Where do you work?

53:09🔗 Caller We work in a restaurant.

53:11🔗 Adam Shocking. There's some about that.

53:14🔗 David Alan Grier Did you pop both of them? Or were they doing a little show for you? And what?

53:17🔗 Caller There was a little switching back and forth. All right. All right.

53:19🔗 David Alan Grier Did they seem to enjoy it?

53:22🔗 Caller I think we all had a good time.

53:23🔗 Adam How does that work? What do you do with the other chick when you're busy with one of them?

53:27🔗 Caller Well, one kind of, I guess, would take care of the other.

53:31🔗 Adam I see.

53:32🔗 David Alan Grier I talk a lot when I'm doing one.

53:34🔗 Caller I'm just going, God, you're so skinny.

53:36🔗 Adam Yeah.

53:37🔗 Caller Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, stuff like that.

53:41🔗 Caller So, well, I guess the problem now is we don't really know where to go from now. What do you mean?

53:46🔗 Adam Wait, you got to add a fourth.

53:48🔗 Caller No, we all have relationships on the side.

53:52🔗 Adam On the side?

53:52🔗 David Alan Grier It's a secret, man.

53:53🔗 Caller What do you have to do?

53:55🔗 Caller Let me explain some of that.

53:56🔗 Adam This is the relationship that's on the side.

53:59🔗 David Alan Grier Get a house. Move in with these two heffas.

54:01🔗 Caller But we all work together.

54:03🔗 Adam I see.

54:03🔗 Caller We all have to go to work tomorrow. It's going to be strange.

54:05🔗 Adam It's going to be weird. Can you refrain from getting on the PA system and announcing it to everyone else at work?

54:13🔗 Caller I think we can handle that.

54:14🔗 Adam They have boyfriends?

54:16🔗 Caller Yes, they do.

54:17🔗 Adam You have a girlfriend?

54:18🔗 Caller Yes, I do.

54:20🔗 Caller Where is she?

54:21🔗 Caller She's at work right now. Nice.

54:23🔗 Adam Fantastic.

54:24🔗 David Alan Grier This is a good move. Let's do some role playing. Adam, I'm going to play this young man going to work today. I'm going to be a bad doobie. I'm at work.

54:35🔗 David Alan Grier Dude, I just bowed two chicks. They're right across there. Hey baby. They were doing each other's man. I was like, I'm in stuff.

54:46🔗 Caller It was awesome.

54:48🔗 Adam And my co-worker?

54:51🔗 David Alan Grier Smell my finger.

54:55🔗 Caller Hold on.

54:55🔗 David Alan Grier Hold on.

54:56🔗 Caller That was just one hand. Give me the other one.

54:59🔗 Caller Yeah, man.

55:01🔗 Caller I did a video, man.

55:02🔗 David Alan Grier I recorded it.

55:04🔗 Caller Awesome.

55:05🔗 Adam Hey, dude, just not as good as your night, but I took a leak in the freezer before I locked up.

55:11🔗 Caller Yeah. Scene.

55:13🔗 Caller Okay. You don't want to do that.

55:15🔗 David Alan Grier You don't want to do that, okay?

55:16🔗 David Alan Grier Keep a secret.

55:17🔗 Adam Yes. Yes. Although it's going to be hard not to talk.

55:20🔗 Caller Wow. I mean, listen, when I was 20-

55:22🔗 Drew Breaking up with his girlfriend, so the direction he's going.

55:25🔗 Adam I was 21, I jacked off twice, and one night I rented out billboards today. I couldn't imagine. If I was with two women, I would have brought that up. I don't give a- I could have been at a funeral.

55:35🔗 David Alan Grier He's already talking to us. He doesn't even know us.

55:37🔗 Drew Yeah.

55:38🔗 Adam Right.

55:38🔗 David Alan Grier Now, it doesn't seem like he has a problem.

55:40🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, I don't know.

55:42🔗 Drew He needs to get out of that relationship. He's in this not a relationship. Why?

55:45🔗 David Alan Grier Do you feel guilty?

55:46🔗 Caller Oh, let me talk to him.

55:48🔗 David Alan Grier Brett, do you feel guilty about this?

55:50🔗 Caller Oh, no. No.

55:51🔗 So what's the problem?

55:53🔗 Caller Well, what's the problem, dude?

55:55🔗 Caller Well, the girls, they just don't know what to do.

55:57🔗 Adam Hey, Brett, how does it work with the orgasm when you're with two women? You know, you know what I mean?

56:02🔗 Drew What's it happen? What do you do?

56:03🔗 Adam No, I mean, do you save yourself for one or is it just kind of random? No, the other one offended. You both have it.

56:11🔗 Caller Yeah, you kind of pull out, you know?

56:13🔗 Adam Yeah, I like you. And where was the other one? She was within range?

56:16🔗 David Alan Grier She was very within range. Just like a little plop here, a little skeet there, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, everywhere.

56:23🔗 Caller Everybody, everybody, skeet, skeet.

56:25🔗 Caller That's how you do your threesome to me.

56:28🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

56:30🔗 Adam Oh, my God. It gets eerie when it takes on a sort of kindergarten theme with the threesome. Yeah, it's haunting.

56:37🔗 Drew Yeah, but not just the threesome.

56:40🔗 Caller It's the whole weird...

56:42🔗 Adam So a little...

56:43🔗 David Alan Grier A lot of fluids there.

56:45🔗 Adam A side of ranch for both of them, huh? Very nice. That's... Very democratic of you.

56:51🔗 David Alan Grier Adam, Adam, I don't want to dwell on stuff, but I just want to make sure you don't bring out...

56:55🔗 Caller This is David Alan Grier, ladies and gentlemen.

56:56🔗 Drew Thank you...

56:57🔗 David Alan Grier .the subject that kind of triggered my whole attack last time.

57:01🔗 Adam Oh, the ranch.

57:01🔗 David Alan Grier Well, you were talking about...

57:03🔗 Drew He was ran over.

57:04🔗 David Alan Grier No, you're talking about hygiene, about his personal hygiene, cleaning areas.

57:08🔗 Drew He has that.

57:09🔗 Caller Oh, he went on the other...

57:11🔗 David Alan Grier Stop, stop, stop.

57:12🔗 Drew Stop it right there. He went on the other night about...

57:18🔗 Adam Number two?

57:19🔗 Drew Number two.

57:20🔗 Caller Oh, boy, here we go.

57:22🔗 Adam Yeah, I was saying this, David, and back me up on this one, if you could.

57:27🔗 Caller Mouth's getting watery.

57:28🔗 Adam Sometimes you wipe your ass.

57:31🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

57:32🔗 Adam And it's as if the toilet paper never touched your coolly. I mean, you literally could blow your nose with the same stuff you wipe your ass with. There's nothing there. Nothing there. It's like, hey, did I just take a dump or what?

57:48🔗 Caller There's nothing on the toilet paper.

57:49🔗 Adam But then there's other times.

57:51🔗 Caller Adam, I beg you.

57:51🔗 Caller Oh, God love you.

57:53🔗 Adam There's other times.

57:54🔗 Caller There's other times.

57:55🔗 Caller Drew, get out of the room.

57:56🔗 Caller When you...

58:01🔗 Adam And you never stop wiping.

58:03🔗 Caller You never stop. And there's actually more on the paper the second time you wipe than there was the first time. And you can't figure it out.

58:15🔗 Caller Mom, I can't.

58:17🔗 Caller Now I've gone to a roll and I'm on to the hand towels. And I'm this close to the goddamn curtains because it still has not mopped up what is down there. It is like the Pugin Sound down there. Do you understand? I found a seagull floating in the toilet with the dead.

58:38🔗 Adam Bette Midler came in and cleaned an otter off. Set it free again.

58:41🔗 Caller Adam, please, please stop. I'm so sorry, Dr. Drew, please, can I get a mop?

58:49🔗 Adam Drew, it is literally like trying to sop up a 32-ounce can. Beef stew. It's like, it's like sobbing.

59:07🔗 David Alan Grier I didn't even know.

59:09🔗 Adam How does projectile bow syndrome work? Where it actually hits the underside of the leg? You know what I'm saying?

59:17🔗 Caller Where it doesn't go down, it goes up. It goes up.

59:22🔗 Adam You actually have a rooster tail of dookie coming out of you.

59:26🔗 Drew There's an example in the men's room right now.

59:28🔗 Adam It looks like a ski boat going through a swamp.

59:32🔗 Caller I want to apologize. I think I hit bottom.

59:35🔗 Adam Are you okay, David?

59:36🔗 Drew Let's call a dry heave now.

59:39🔗 Adam You all right, buddy?

59:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

59:42🔗 Adam I gotta tell you, Drew, I've gone through the paper, I've gone through the curtain, I've gone through the hand towel.

59:47🔗 Drew The anus squirting device.

59:57🔗 Adam I had to wipe myself with... I had to use bunny slippers. You understand? I was so... Anderson, will you leave my goddamn mic on? Are you okay?

1:00:15🔗 Caller I'm okay, guys.

1:00:17🔗 Caller You all right?

1:00:18🔗 Caller Doctors are gonna get me a red bull. I think I can. Yeah.

1:00:21🔗 David Alan Grier Let me just have some red bull. That always makes me...

1:00:23🔗 Adam Then I got up off the toilet.

1:00:25🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:25🔗 Caller And I went in one...

1:00:30🔗 Adam I watched TV. And I felt a little... And I thought, my God, I must be bleeding because this cannot be more fecal matter. Just cannot be because, sure enough, as God is my witness, I looked down on my underpants, it was like a Rorschach test down there.

1:00:52🔗 Caller I would do it so well, Dr. Drew. I know.

1:00:55🔗 Drew It's okay. You'll be all right, David.

1:00:56🔗 Caller I'm crying and vomiting.

1:01:00🔗 Drew It's been a good night.

1:01:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:03🔗 Caller Do you have a change of clothes? Yeah.

1:01:04🔗 Drew I have to change too.

1:01:05🔗 Caller You're all right, bro?

1:01:06🔗 Caller I'm okay.

1:01:08🔗 Caller Can I get Kleenex, please?

1:01:09🔗 Caller I just want to.

1:01:10🔗 Drew Okay, big boy.

1:01:10🔗 Caller You'll be all right.

1:01:12🔗 Adam Speaking of Kleenex, I went through a whole box of Kleenex.

1:01:16🔗 Caller Adam, please.

1:01:17🔗 Adam I'm sorry.

1:01:18🔗 Caller Okay.

1:01:19🔗 David Alan Grier Let's take a call.

1:01:20🔗 Adam Are you okay?

1:01:20🔗 Caller A few of our...

1:01:21🔗 David Alan Grier I'm sorry.

1:01:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:23🔗 David Alan Grier Sorry, guys. I'm all right.

1:01:24🔗 Adam I'm sorry. Was I getting into something that was upsetting David?

1:01:27🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:01:28🔗 Adam Okay. Melissa.

1:01:30🔗 Caller I'm so sorry.

1:01:32🔗 Adam You're 18, Melissa. What's happened?

1:01:35🔗 Drew Melissa.

1:01:36🔗 Caller Melissa.

1:01:39🔗 Adam She's been put of...

1:01:42🔗 Drew Spelled.

1:01:44🔗 Adam All right. Let's see. Speaking of expelled.

1:01:46🔗 Drew Colin.

1:01:47🔗 Caller Please, Adam. I...

1:01:48🔗 Caller Oh, you're gonna forget?

1:01:49🔗 Caller No. I'm just saying.

1:01:51🔗 Caller Okay.

1:01:52🔗 Caller Oh, God. I didn't know what was gonna happen.

1:01:54🔗 Caller I'm calling him Colin.

1:01:55🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:01:56🔗 David Alan Grier Don't even tell him what we just did here.

1:01:59🔗 Caller Oh, that's for real.

1:02:02🔗 Caller Oh, my.

1:02:03🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, I'm getting electrocuted.

1:02:06🔗 Caller Oh, my God.

1:02:07🔗 Caller Can you get electrocuted on your own vomit?

1:02:10🔗 Caller Gosh.

1:02:12🔗 David Alan Grier You know what, guys? I want to apologize because I didn't think I should have had chili tonight.

1:02:16🔗 Caller No.

1:02:18🔗 Caller It all looks like chili when it comes back. It's all right.

1:02:20🔗 Caller Yeah. Dr. Drew, please stop.

1:02:22🔗 Adam And Drew, the burning sensation you get down there, is that from the spicy food or is that just from the dilated or-

1:02:29🔗 David Alan Grier That's Jenny Weimann, my beautiful publicist. Thanks, Jenny, PLPR.

1:02:32🔗 Adam She's wonderful.

1:02:33🔗 Caller Oh, let me just...

1:02:35🔗 David Alan Grier You guys go ahead. I just want to...

1:02:36🔗 Caller I just need time.

1:02:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Colin? Yeah? You're 17.

1:02:42🔗 Drew Don't forget the table.

1:02:45🔗 Caller I just got to get some chunks.

1:02:46🔗 Adam Colin, what's up there?

1:02:48🔗 Caller Oh, first I got to say, David, you are the funniest guy I think I've ever...

1:02:51🔗 Drew By the way, David, thanks for blowing your nose and then wiping the table.

1:02:53🔗 Caller Thanks a lot.

1:02:54🔗 Caller You know what?

1:02:55🔗 Caller Germs are good, Dr. Drew. They rule the world.

1:02:57🔗 David Alan Grier They were here before we were born. They were, indeed. Okay? You know, germs aren't going to kill you.

1:03:01🔗 Caller They'll just make you real sick.

1:03:03🔗 Adam What's up there, Colin?

1:03:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:03:06🔗 Caller Well, I'm about to join the Army. I got a call like a week ago, and I figured I'll go for it since I was in ROTC when I was in high school, and I thought it was pretty cool. And I had this friend, and he got me started smoking weed, like about a year ago. And I think the last time we did it was like a month and a half ago, and he told me that I had to take a physical, it's like an all-out physical on Monday. And I want to know how long it takes for the weed to go through your system.

1:03:36🔗 Drew If you were a regular pot smoker, it could take a couple of weeks, but if you're just smoking once a month, it's gone. It's gone in a few days.

1:03:43🔗 Caller Back to the ecstasy, Dr. Drew.

1:03:45🔗 Adam Alright, Colin. Have fun killing people.

1:03:47🔗 Caller Back to the ecstasy, Dr. Drew.

1:03:49🔗 David Alan Grier Say you're a little older gentleman, you know. You take the ecstasy now and then.

1:03:54🔗 Drew You're very focused on this.

1:03:55🔗 David Alan Grier Would it kill you?

1:03:56🔗 Drew No, it will not kill you.

1:03:57🔗 David Alan Grier What would it do to you?

1:03:58🔗 Drew It makes you funny. It F's with your brain chemistry.

1:04:03🔗 David Alan Grier And like how would that manifest itself? Does it have anything?

1:04:06🔗 Drew Memory problems.

1:04:07🔗 David Alan Grier Have anything to do with vomiting?

1:04:08🔗 Drew Of course.

1:04:09🔗 Caller Panic attack?

1:04:11🔗 David Alan Grier I am so scared, boy.

1:04:12🔗 Drew Yeah. Anxiety.

1:04:14🔗 David Alan Grier Like now what kind of anxiety? Because I have, I do suffer anxiety.

1:04:17🔗 Drew No kidding.

1:04:18🔗 David Alan Grier Problems sometimes I do. I do.

1:04:20🔗 Adam Yeah. Just throw that on the ground like it's good.

1:04:23🔗 David Alan Grier I do. Obsessive thoughts too.

1:04:25🔗 Drew Yes. Yes.

1:04:27🔗 David Alan Grier I go over and over. I'm telling you right now.

1:04:29🔗 Drew I find that shocking, but yes.

1:04:30🔗 David Alan Grier Any, if you said something to me, any indiscretion?

1:04:33🔗 Drew You'd be obsessing about it for weeks.

1:04:35🔗 Caller Absolutely.

1:04:36🔗 David Alan Grier And I will see you a month from now and I'd go, thanks a lot. And walk away.

1:04:41🔗 Caller And I'd be like, really?

1:04:42🔗 David Alan Grier I feel really good. I told him, you'd have no idea.

1:04:46🔗 Caller Oh, man.

1:04:48🔗 Drew Well, he's going to obsess about this for a month.

1:04:50🔗 Caller It's the FCC calling.

1:04:51🔗 Caller Would you put David Alan Grier on the line, please?

1:04:54🔗 David Alan Grier No, but I would obsess about it. And, you know, I'd just come up and I'd go, you know, on October 30th in 1988.

1:05:00🔗 Caller You really upset me when you like turned away.

1:05:01🔗 Caller No, we noticed that you sort of...

1:05:03🔗 Drew Well, he sort of... David replays for us the show he'd been on just prior to coming in here. Right.

1:05:08🔗 Caller I don't even remember it. Yeah. And he's got the whole thing replayed for us.

1:05:11🔗 David Alan Grier I do. And to the woman in my life, I apologize so much because... You should. It takes a special lady to keep up with me. But I'll tell you something, the kooky people are always the most fun. I tell you. You catch me on one of my good days, sunshine all day long.

1:05:27🔗 Adam I'd like to do that sometime.

1:05:29🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:05:29🔗 Drew It would be nice to have a good day, wouldn't it?

1:05:30🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, hey, let's take some calls now that I got past my old vomiting thing.

1:05:34🔗 David Alan Grier I got it out.

1:05:35🔗 David Alan Grier It's not going to come back. You know, my tank's empty now.

1:05:38🔗 Drew You feel good?

1:05:39🔗 Adam Alex?

1:05:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:05:40🔗 Adam You're 17.

1:05:41🔗 Caller I am indeed.

1:05:42🔗 Adam What is up?

1:05:45🔗 Adam Good.

1:05:46🔗 David Alan Grier Excellent.

1:05:47🔗 Caller I have a confession to make. I actually, I made up my question, fellas. All right.

1:05:50🔗 Adam Good.

1:05:51🔗 Caller What's going on?

1:05:51🔗 Caller I'm terribly sorry.

1:05:52🔗 Caller You are an asshole.

1:05:53🔗 Caller What's going on?

1:05:54🔗 David Alan Grier Thank you. Thank you, Violent J.

1:05:56🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

1:05:58🔗 Caller First of all, I mean, the real reason I wanted to call is just to say hi to Adam Corolla. I mean, it's a pleasure just to speak to you, sir.

1:06:04🔗 Adam Thank you, Alex.

1:06:05🔗 Caller Well, thank you.

1:06:07🔗 Adam No, thank you.

1:06:08🔗 David Alan Grier Can we cut this homo off and try and help some people that are sick?

1:06:11🔗 Caller This is ridiculous. Alex, Alex, Alex, anything else? Just you want to say hi to Adam?

1:06:15🔗 Caller Yeah, that's pretty much it.

1:06:17🔗 Adam Whatever.

1:06:19🔗 Caller I feel sorry for you, Triner. I deceived you.

1:06:21🔗 Adam That's all right, Alex. And by the way, he prefers to be called queer, not homo.

1:06:25🔗 David Alan Grier Hold on, Jenny. Jenny, you are so wonderful. Jenny, please go home. That's my wonderful publicist.

1:06:30🔗 Caller She works too hard.

1:06:31🔗 Adam She's a dynamite lady.

1:06:32🔗 Caller You work too long.

1:06:33🔗 David Alan Grier Shannon? How are you, Shannon? What's going on, baby?

1:06:39🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. I'm having a problem. I'm dating this guy. Yeah. And he's got a very strange-shaped penis.

1:06:49🔗 Drew Uh-oh.

1:06:50🔗 Adam Like Lincoln's head?

1:06:52🔗 Caller No.

1:06:53🔗 David Alan Grier Does it curve?

1:06:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:55🔗 Caller Right, right.

1:06:57🔗 Caller My sister kind of described it.

1:07:00🔗 David Alan Grier Wait a minute. Wait a minute. How would your sister know what Homeboy's joint looks like?

1:07:03🔗 Caller Well, I didn't show her, obviously.

1:07:07🔗 Drew She seemed to know, strangely.

1:07:08🔗 Caller Well, I talked to her about it.

1:07:10🔗 Drew And how did she describe it?

1:07:11🔗 Caller Gonzo's nose.

1:07:13🔗 Drew Well, whose?

1:07:13🔗 Caller Gonzo from The Muppets.

1:07:15🔗 David Alan Grier Right.

1:07:16🔗 Drew Gonzo's nose.

1:07:17🔗 David Alan Grier Now, sometimes if it curves...

1:07:19🔗 Drew It goes this way or goes this way?

1:07:21🔗 David Alan Grier Does it curve up or down?

1:07:22🔗 Drew Down.

1:07:23🔗 David Alan Grier That's bad. That's bad for the girl. Sometimes if it has a little dip at the end, that's pretty good for you, girly girl, so you look at that.

1:07:28🔗 Adam Yeah, I use it as a hook.

1:07:30🔗 David Alan Grier What's up? Is it really pronounced or just faint?

1:07:33🔗 Caller Well, we haven't had sex yet. We've only been dating for three months and normally, you know, I'm pretty, you know, horny and so it's like...

1:07:41🔗 David Alan Grier Apparently, you ain't been that horny three months.

1:07:43🔗 Adam How bent is it?

1:07:45🔗 Caller It's significant.

1:07:47🔗 Adam If he got on top of you and really got in deep, would it poke out your ass?

1:07:51🔗 Caller I don't know. I would hope not.

1:07:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:07:54🔗 David Alan Grier Is he self-conscious about it or did he just plop it out on the table and say, look at that girl?

1:07:59🔗 Caller Well, we were fooling around and, you know, I grabbed to pull it out. You know, and I grabbed again, again, that was bent. When I went to straighten it, it wasn't going straight.

1:08:11🔗 David Alan Grier Word to the ladies, if something's bent, don't try and straighten it out, OK?

1:08:13🔗 Caller That's right.

1:08:14🔗 Adam Leave that to the professionals. Hey, Shannon. Now, Drew tells me that the vaginas curve that way.

1:08:21🔗 Drew Let's go to the picture.

1:08:22🔗 Caller Is it down or up?

1:08:24🔗 David Alan Grier I thought it was up.

1:08:24🔗 Drew I got to show David. No, it's down.

1:08:26🔗 David Alan Grier Let me, apparently, ladies and gentlemen, Adam and Dr. Drew here have what I like to call the old street guide to the Twinkie Hole.

1:08:33🔗 Caller That's right.

1:08:35🔗 Adam Let's see.

1:08:35🔗 David Alan Grier Now, Drew, we're going to take a peek down Main Street here.

1:08:39🔗 Adam That's right.

1:08:39🔗 Caller Holy cow.

1:08:41🔗 David Alan Grier Look at that thing.

1:08:42🔗 Drew We can back this way towards the...

1:08:43🔗 Yeah.

1:08:45🔗 David Alan Grier But wait a minute. But wouldn't it be better if it went up?

1:08:47🔗 Drew Why? It's all going this way.

1:08:49🔗 Adam That's true.

1:08:50🔗 David Alan Grier But still, if she's lying, you want a straight entry, you don't want it curving anywhere.

1:08:54🔗 Drew We're talking about going in the direction of the canal that way.

1:08:56🔗 Caller Oh, look at that.

1:08:58🔗 Adam Most penises curve up, though. Not many go down.

1:09:01🔗 Caller I don't want you looking at this.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Right. Let me see this.

1:09:04🔗 David Alan Grier Jenny, I don't want my publicists looking at it.

1:09:06🔗 Adam I see. And so what are you saying, Drew?

1:09:08🔗 Drew I'm saying that, you know, it's going that way.

1:09:10🔗 Adam Where's the hole?

1:09:11🔗 Drew It's right there. Going that way, going towards Mecca here.

1:09:14🔗 David Alan Grier So hold on there, Drew. Let's break this down for the people. We're looking at a cross section of the Love Box, the Twinkie Hole.

1:09:22🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:09:23🔗 David Alan Grier Now you're saying the Man Sword.

1:09:24🔗 Caller She's lying down on her back here.

1:09:25🔗 David Alan Grier There you go.

1:09:26🔗 Drew Right, on the floor there.

1:09:28🔗 Adam Right, right.

1:09:29🔗 Drew Now bringing things up a little bit doesn't hurt.

1:09:31🔗 David Alan Grier Show me a tipped uterus.

1:09:33🔗 Drew It would flip back this way.

1:09:34🔗 David Alan Grier Uh-huh. And the eye's got to go gentle with that.

1:09:37🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

1:09:38🔗 David Alan Grier You know what I'm saying?

1:09:39🔗 Adam Well, you brothers do. I never get that far.

1:09:41🔗 David Alan Grier Well, my sword is straight and true, my friend.

1:09:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:09:44🔗 Adam My dagger's straight.

1:09:46🔗 David Alan Grier There you go. My love, my pipe, my stick, my wand, my big boy. You know what I'm talking about, Dr. Drew. My love stick.

1:09:53🔗 Adam Is there pressure as a black man to have a large penis? You know what I mean?

1:09:57🔗 David Alan Grier You know what? I, uh, I don't know. No, no. I mean, you know, everybody's the same. Every, you know, everybody's the same. I don't really.

1:10:06🔗 Drew What the hell was that? Did he answer your question?

1:10:08🔗 David Alan Grier No, but there's no, do people, people don't really believe in the myth.

1:10:12🔗 Adam Here's what I'm saying.

1:10:13🔗 David Alan Grier Do women?

1:10:14🔗 Adam Yes, they do. Yes, they do.

1:10:15🔗 David Alan Grier Do you girls really, there's two Caucasian young women here. I'm looking at, we'll remain nameless. Do you believe that black men have larger units, larger packages?

1:10:26🔗 Adam Yes, yes.

1:10:27🔗 David Alan Grier One's nodding.

1:10:27🔗 David Alan Grier I like a dark guy with a very big willy. Yeah.

1:10:30🔗 David Alan Grier Do you, have you slept with guys of color? But you just believe that?

1:10:34🔗 David Alan Grier Why?

1:10:35🔗 David Alan Grier Why would you believe that if you don't know?

1:10:36🔗 Adam I'll tell you why, David.

1:10:37🔗 David Alan Grier Your friends told you?

1:10:38🔗 Drew They watched pornos.

1:10:40🔗 Adam I'll explain why.

1:10:41🔗 Caller Couple reasons.

1:10:43🔗 David Alan Grier Twofold.

1:10:45🔗 Adam First off, most of the black erections that I've seen in my life have come via porn, and they don't let a black guy in with a small dork. Well, you understand? The whole thing about porn is like, if we got to have a black guy, it better be big. Otherwise, it's going to be disappointing to the white viewing audience. You understand? Secondly, the reason a black penis looks bigger is because it's dark. Just like bodybuilders. They work out, they lie out in the sun, shows definition. Right? You got an albino guy with a shirt off, he looks fat. You got a black guy with a shirt off, he looks defined. So the black penis can actually look bigger even when it's not.

1:11:30🔗 David Alan Grier But don't you think, isn't that just a myth, you know?

1:11:32🔗 Adam No, but here's what, don't talk to him. Listen to me, David. You got a Chinese guy and you got a black guy.

1:11:39🔗 David Alan Grier Hold it right there. Have you ever seen Japanese porn? Homie.

1:11:43🔗 Adam Small?

1:11:43🔗 Caller It looks like a little pinky.

1:11:45🔗 Adam That's what I'm saying.

1:11:45🔗 David Alan Grier And they talk a lot of stuff, you know, the Japanese are like, Oh, my God. You know, and it's like, right. The honey bird.

1:11:55🔗 Adam So my point is, is if a lady hooks up with a Chinese guy and drops his pants and it's the exact same size as the black man's penis she's with a week later, she's excited to see it on the Chinese guy. But if the black guy has the same size one, she's disappointed. That's pressure, my friend. And that's what you gotta live with.

1:12:16🔗 David Alan Grier Well, I've never had a problem, you know? I'm not, I'm like every other American, slightly above average. That's all, that's all I claim to be. You know, but they did have that HBO special on the male member, and they had one dude who was great, this black dude, he was talking about his piece, and he was like, you know, a lot of times, I don't like to pull it out, cause you know, I can hurt you with it. I'm serious, I can do damage, rip blood vessels, you know, cause physical pain. Like I don't need anything like that, you know what I mean? Who wants that? You don't want flesh ripping.

1:12:55🔗 Adam No.

1:12:55🔗 David Alan Grier Action.

1:12:56🔗 Adam No.

1:12:56🔗 No, Adam. No.

1:12:57🔗 David Alan Grier You want something that fits. One of my good friends, Anka Radakovic, sex expert, said, every woman, girls back me up, you want something that fits, right? You know what I'm saying?

1:13:07🔗 Caller Right.

1:13:08🔗 David Alan Grier Am I right or wrong?

1:13:09🔗 Caller Yes, that's right.

1:13:09🔗 David Alan Grier Not too big, not too small. You just want this, like, clatter, fits.

1:13:13🔗 Drew What are you hanging out with Anka for?

1:13:14🔗 Caller She's a good friend.

1:13:16🔗 David Alan Grier She's like everybody else. She just wants love, you know?

1:13:18🔗 Caller She's a very good girl.

1:13:19🔗 Caller She's hard to find.

1:13:21🔗 Adam She's got a script she wants to read.

1:13:22🔗 David Alan Grier Well, yeah. When you're a sex writer, because there are expectations there too.

1:13:26🔗 Adam Let me tell you, for a chick to be a sex expert, here's all she has to do. Admit to sleeping with a bunch of guys and dye her hair some weird color and be pissed off at her parents. She becomes a sex expert. This is, it's very easy for a woman to do this. You know, Dr. Drew, we're going to take ourselves a little break.

1:13:42🔗 Caller It's homecoming time, we're all broken teacups.

1:13:46🔗 Caller Homecoming time.

1:13:48🔗 Caller Love the broken heart in you. Be back in a minute, Loveline.

1:13:57🔗 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

1:14:14🔗 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio. 100.7 The Buzz.

1:14:28🔗 Adam How dare you make fun of my two favorite celebrities, David Alan Grier and Ron Jeremy.

1:14:34🔗 Drew I love the fact that David's black is off. There we go.

1:14:37🔗 Adam There we go.

1:14:37🔗 David Alan Grier I'm not bipolar, but can I get your home number? Cause I really want to call you when I get four in the morning. Dr. Drew, it's me, David.

1:14:49🔗 Adam I'm having a spell.

1:14:51🔗 David Alan Grier We've got about 35 minutes, and I want to help some babies.

1:14:54🔗 Caller Let's see how some kids got to do that.

1:14:55🔗 Caller Enough with the funky stuff.

1:14:57🔗 Caller Bridget.

1:14:58🔗 Caller Hi.

1:14:59🔗 Adam You're 15.

1:14:59🔗 Caller What's up?

1:15:01🔗 Caller About three weeks ago, I had unprotected sex with this guy who's had sex with a lot of people.

1:15:08🔗 Caller He's a raver and does a lot of drugs. I'm sure you know how those guys are.

1:15:12🔗 Adam Oh, yes.

1:15:13🔗 David Alan Grier You tell me about it. Dr. Drew, wasn't I telling you about those guys, the friends of mine, the ravers?

1:15:18🔗 Drew You and your friends. Crazy.

1:15:21🔗 Caller What's the question? I'm afraid of STDs and stuff like that.

1:15:25🔗 Caller And pregnancy, yep, only good. It's all good.

1:15:28🔗 Caller I'm not pregnant because I did have my period, but I'm just wondering, I don't know, about getting tested because my mom doesn't know I'm sexually active, of course. I mean, I'm 15.

1:15:41🔗 Drew Why don't you go to your doctor or Planned Parenthood or anywhere?

1:15:44🔗 Adam Go to Planned Parenthood.

1:15:45🔗 Drew It's confidential after 14.

1:15:46🔗 Adam They won't even tell you the results. That'd be my policy if I ran a clinic.

1:15:51🔗 David Alan Grier She sounds so mature for 15.

1:15:52🔗 Adam So private, we don't even tell you the results.

1:15:54🔗 David Alan Grier You really do. She's like, you know.

1:15:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:15:57🔗 Adam Just go one of those clinics, all right?

1:15:58🔗 Drew Remember, if you use your insurance, though, an EOB might get sent to your parents and it explains your benefits. You got to watch out for that.

1:16:05🔗 Adam Oh, boy. What? Yes, Bridget?

1:16:08🔗 Caller Oh, I was going to say, and my friend's now interested in him and you know, he's interested in her. I don't really know how to tell her that, you know, he's dirty or something.

1:16:18🔗 David Alan Grier Well, why can't you tell her that?

1:16:21🔗 Drew Because she's into him.

1:16:23🔗 Adam Yeah. You're into him, right, Bridget?

1:16:25🔗 Caller No. No, my friend.

1:16:26🔗 Adam Why not? Why did you sleep with him if you don't like him?

1:16:30🔗 Caller I used to like him.

1:16:32🔗 Adam Right. That was a whole three weeks ago. This is the new Bridget.

1:16:35🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, I want to meet a girl like Bridget Butt who's 35. You know that you can just go like, I met this guy and we had sex and stuff and he's like an actor.

1:16:45🔗 Adam And he's really dirty.

1:16:46🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, and he got me down here in my stinky spot and stuff and he's on TV and stuff and my friend likes him, but I don't like him anymore.

1:16:54🔗 Adam And he was really funny on TV and on Living Color and DAG and stuff, but he got all weird and serious.

1:17:00🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, and he just kept flapping his jibber jabber. He talks really fast for like hours at a time and then like for days he's just almost comatose.

1:17:08🔗 Caller He cried right before he came and then he called his mom and did you know, and then he started yelling at her.

1:17:18🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, 35 year old chicks are like, what does this mean? What does this mean? We're talking, what does this mean?

1:17:22🔗 Caller Where's this leading?

1:17:24🔗 Adam He did this remake of Hogan's Hero.

1:17:28🔗 Caller Scene.

1:17:30🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, you bastard.

1:17:34🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

1:17:35🔗 Caller Brandon, Brandon.

1:17:36🔗 Adam Take it out on the gloves.

1:17:37🔗 Caller What's up, Brandon? How you doing?

1:17:38🔗 Caller All right.

1:17:39🔗 David Alan Grier You know, Adam got some skills.

1:17:40🔗 Caller Hey, Brandon's talking to you.

1:17:41🔗 Caller Oh, quiet please.

1:17:44🔗 Caller Brandon's talking. He's got a problem.

1:17:50🔗 David Alan Grier That's why he's squawking.

1:17:53🔗 Caller He's on the radio.

1:18:13🔗 Caller Adam, I can see it now. Loveline, the musical.

1:18:16🔗 Caller Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, that was wonderful.

1:18:18🔗 Caller David Alan Grier and his most challenging role ever, as the nappy haired Adam Carolla.

1:18:23🔗 Caller Somebody pick up the phone. Oops, we have another caller.

1:18:27🔗 David Alan Grier Wait five minutes, they'll be back soon.

1:18:28🔗 Drew Snappy dance? Numbers?

1:18:30🔗 Caller That's right.

1:18:33🔗 Drew A lyric sense.

1:18:34🔗 Caller Yeah, and the big song.

1:18:35🔗 Drew Huge range.

1:18:35🔗 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we have lines for love, and lovelines, lovelines, lovelines, and soon to the Pantages Theatre. Loveline.

1:18:51🔗 Adam Jeffrey Lines calls it a puckish satire triumph.

1:18:55🔗 Caller David Alan Grier is Adam Carolla.

1:18:58🔗 David Alan Grier Hello, can I take your call? Oh, it's 10.35.

1:19:02🔗 Caller Who's next, Bridget? You're 19. Having unprotected sex, who write to Bridget?

1:19:08🔗 Drew Andrew Lloyd Webber will write it. He'll pen it. I can see it now.

1:19:13🔗 Adam Run, don't walk to the theater.

1:19:16🔗 Caller Dr. Drew.

1:19:20🔗 Caller All right, okay, okay, okay. Don't cry for me, all you screwballs.

1:19:24🔗 Caller Roy Scheider puts in a Tony caliber performance as Dr. Drew in the searing dramatic scene.

1:19:33🔗 Caller You call yourself a doctor?

1:19:35🔗 Caller I called you, I needed help.

1:19:37🔗 Caller And you laughed at me.

1:19:39🔗 Caller Brandon, what's the deal?

1:19:43🔗 Caller What's up to David?

1:19:44🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, what's up, man?

1:19:45🔗 Caller How you doing? I'm just, I'm a big fan of the In Living Color.

1:19:49🔗 David Alan Grier Thanks a lot, man.

1:19:49🔗 Caller Thank you. And I'm trying to get out to California and I'm just wondering, I want to become an actor actually.

1:19:57🔗 Caller Right.

1:19:58🔗 Caller And, you know, I look at your work and I look at a lot of people on In Living Color. I'm a really big Jim Carrey fan.

1:20:04🔗 Caller Right, right.

1:20:05🔗 Caller In fact, didn't you, you were on Rosy O'Donnell the other day, right?

1:20:08🔗 David Alan Grier I was, I was. I saw Jim over there, man. He was on there. Jim was on the show with me.

1:20:12🔗 Caller You were on the same show with him.

1:20:14🔗 Adam Does he, does he know who you are now?

1:20:15🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, we kicked it. I'm gonna talk a little bit. Let me ask you something, brother. Excuse me, excuse me, fellas.

1:20:19🔗 Caller Can I jump in here?

1:20:20🔗 David Alan Grier Is this a sexual question?

1:20:22🔗 David Alan Grier No, no, come on.

1:20:22🔗 David Alan Grier Cut him off.

1:20:23🔗 David Alan Grier Cut him off. Cut him off. There are people in need. There are people in need.

1:20:27🔗 Adam You just did a 20-minute dance number.

1:20:29🔗 Caller Are you kidding me?

1:20:30🔗 David Alan Grier I did that to reach out for the kids out there. All right.

1:20:34🔗 Caller I understand.

1:20:35🔗 David Alan Grier For the sexually dysfunctional.

1:20:36🔗 Caller Go ahead, continue, my friend.

1:20:37🔗 Caller I'm just wondering what's the best way to break in the business.

1:20:40🔗 David Alan Grier Where are you at? What city do you live in?

1:20:42🔗 Caller I live in New Baltimore. It's out by Mount Clemens.

1:20:45🔗 David Alan Grier I'll tell you what you do.

1:20:46🔗 Caller What state are you in? What state?

1:20:48🔗 David Alan Grier That's Michigan.

1:20:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:20:49🔗 David Alan Grier It's Michigan. I'm from Detroit. Here's what you do. Any community, you guys have a theater. You probably have a theater company doing corny shows, corny plays. If you're in school, you start there. You start in your church group, any place.

1:21:05🔗 Drew How do they prevent from getting sucked into that vortex?

1:21:07🔗 Caller I'm taking classes like at Second City and, you know...

1:21:10🔗 David Alan Grier That's a good place. Go to Chicago is a great place. They have a lot of theater companies. Chicago is a wonderful city.

1:21:17🔗 Drew How do they break out of that into something more substantial?

1:21:20🔗 David Alan Grier Got to come to LA and got to come to New York.

1:21:22🔗 Drew And what do they do?

1:21:23🔗 Adam Oral sex.

1:21:23🔗 David Alan Grier Hit the pavement, baby. You get the pavement. You know, most people don't go about acting like...

1:21:28🔗 Caller Bigger pardon? You got to start in porn, don't you?

1:21:30🔗 Adam Yes.

1:21:31🔗 Caller Yes.

1:21:31🔗 Drew That really is... Not everyone has to follow David's path.

1:21:35🔗 Adam No.

1:21:35🔗 Drew Wow. Well, hold on.

1:21:38🔗 David Alan Grier Let's pump the brakes there, Mr. Mean Spirit.

1:21:41🔗 Drew Finish what you're saying.

1:21:41🔗 David Alan Grier I'm saying you can act where you're at.

1:21:43🔗 Drew You start... You say, pound the pavement?

1:21:45🔗 David Alan Grier Pound the pavement. I was saying that most people don't go about acting like it's an eight hour job. Meaning you work nine to five, you're in class, you're hitting a pavement, you're trying to meet people, you go about it like it is a business. You know, and I'm not saying eventually it will pay off because it's not a democracy, but hopefully you'll get into something, someone notices you, passes your name on, and you blow a couple people in your face.

1:22:09🔗 Adam Don't you find, seriously, most people spend more time strategizing about their career than they should just go do it, just do it, just hone your craft, and if you're any good, it'll work out.

1:22:22🔗 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

1:22:22🔗 Adam But don't try to work out a plan and fool people.

1:22:25🔗 David Alan Grier No, and don't be the 35 year old in acting class going, I got, I had a breakthrough in the mirror exercise, Adam.

1:22:32🔗 Caller I followed Jerome.

1:22:33🔗 David Alan Grier Remember, I told you about Jerome, the whole exercise today.

1:22:37🔗 Adam Jerome.

1:22:37🔗 David Alan Grier I don't want to be that guy.

1:22:38🔗 Adam Right. Now let's all get in a circle and lift an imaginary sewer cover. It's heavy. It's heavy. It weighs a lot. Slowly, slowly. Mark, Mark, you're over your head. Everyone's at their knees.

1:22:49🔗 David Alan Grier Gwyneth Paltrow, my dream girl, my Gwyneth, my Gwyneth. I love you, Gwynny. She never took an acting class in her life. And let me tell you something else, Mr. Naysayer. Judy Garland never owned a house. Did you guys know that? American tragedy.

1:23:03🔗 Adam It blew away, didn't it?

1:23:05🔗 David Alan Grier American tragedy.

1:23:05🔗 Adam Didn't Judy Garland's house?

1:23:07🔗 David Alan Grier Mickey Rooney said, told that story on the great David Letterman show that Judy never owned a house.

1:23:12🔗 Adam He's the gem that Mickey Rooney.

1:23:13🔗 David Alan Grier Hello.

1:23:14🔗 Caller Hi.

1:23:15🔗 David Alan Grier How you doing?

1:23:15🔗 Adam You're 19. What's up?

1:23:17🔗 David Alan Grier Elaine, how you doing, baby?

1:23:18🔗 Caller I'm fine. I have a bit of like a big gigantic dilemma. What's up? I, about two months ago now, I like I got off of these birth control pills because they weren't like making me regular.

1:23:30🔗 Caller Right.

1:23:30🔗 Caller And I got onto these new ones, like I was supposed to do a Sunday start.

1:23:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:35🔗 Caller Well, the night before, I had sex with this guy.

1:23:37🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

1:23:38🔗 Caller And it's like I just met him that night and I had sex with him and I was supposed to start my pills that Sunday, so I started them anyway.

1:23:46🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute, Elaine, be fair to yourself, honey. You met him in the early evening and you didn't let him get on top.

1:23:51🔗 Caller I like talked to him for about three hours.

1:23:54🔗 Adam What time did you meet him?

1:23:55🔗 Caller I met him around, I'd say, around 10.30 at night.

1:23:58🔗 Caller Okay.

1:23:59🔗 David Alan Grier You let him get in your drawers after three hours of chitty chat.

1:24:02🔗 Caller He's really nice.

1:24:04🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, where can I meet these women at? Okay, girl, what you doing?

1:24:07🔗 Caller I don't know, that usually never happens. I'm not like that at all.

1:24:10🔗 David Alan Grier You never did that at all?

1:24:11🔗 Caller No. Was it good?

1:24:11🔗 David Alan Grier Was the sexual experience good?

1:24:13🔗 Caller Yes, it was very good.

1:24:14🔗 David Alan Grier A lot of times that hook up, the booty call doesn't always work out.

1:24:19🔗 Caller It's just like you make sparks with him and I made sparks with him and it made it good.

1:24:23🔗 David Alan Grier I hear you. Did you let him tap that ass once or twice or did you just hit it once?

1:24:28🔗 Caller We're still having sex.

1:24:29🔗 David Alan Grier You are. You're having sex right now as we speak?

1:24:31🔗 Caller No, not right now. Put him on the phone.

1:24:34🔗 Adam All right. So now what's the problem?

1:24:35🔗 Caller Well, also, I've been taking some acne medication and-

1:24:40🔗 Caller Which one?

1:24:41🔗 Caller Let's see. It is doxycycline.

1:24:43🔗 Drew Okay, right.

1:24:44🔗 Caller And I've been taking it and I don't know if I'm getting either side effects because they also told me when I started taking this medicine that it could cancel out the effect of my pills.

1:24:53🔗 Drew It sure could.

1:24:54🔗 Adam Yeah. I think chicks with zits put out more.

1:24:57🔗 Drew That's nice.

1:24:58🔗 Adam Wouldn't you say?

1:24:58🔗 Caller Yeah, I don't have a lot of zits.

1:25:00🔗 Adam But enough to put out, right?

1:25:01🔗 Caller But look, you've got some concerns here, LA.

1:25:05🔗 Drew You missed your pills. You had sex before you were protected and you're on doxycycline, all of which can make the contraception get effected.

1:25:13🔗 Adam Quiet.

1:25:13🔗 Caller You're going to wake David Alan up.

1:25:16🔗 Caller I'm looking for any little signs because I already had one. I already have one kid.

1:25:20🔗 Caller Great.

1:25:20🔗 Caller You better get a pregnancy test.

1:25:22🔗 Caller And why don't you-

1:25:23🔗 Caller Does it count if I've had my period? Like I've had my period twice already since I got pregnant.

1:25:26🔗 Adam That was a miscarriage.

1:25:28🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, Dr. Drew, let me ask you a question. I once dated this girl who wouldn't get on the pill.

1:25:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:34🔗 David Alan Grier And I said, well, get on the pill was the worst kind of- She got on the pill and she went crazy. Like it like affected her moods and stuff.

1:25:40🔗 Drew Yeah, sure can.

1:25:41🔗 Caller But you date women, they're kind of on the edge of their head.

1:25:43🔗 David Alan Grier I like the nutty nuts. I like the nutty nutties.

1:25:44🔗 Drew So you put a little biology in there.

1:25:46🔗 Caller Oh, by golly.

1:25:48🔗 Drew I tell you what, they are firecrackers. Yes.

1:25:51🔗 Caller Oh, by gosh.

1:25:53🔗 David Alan Grier God bless the mentally ill Dr. Drew.

1:25:55🔗 Drew The girl-

1:25:55🔗 David Alan Grier That's my dating pool.

1:25:56🔗 Adam You date are so chemically imbalanced.

1:25:58🔗 David Alan Grier They're not.

1:25:58🔗 Adam They're not. Or precariously balanced chemically. I do joke. I do joke. A little too much salt on the celery. I'll send them over the top.

1:26:05🔗 David Alan Grier That was in the past. I'm with someone now who is very special.

1:26:09🔗 Adam Special lady.

1:26:10🔗 David Alan Grier Very wonderful. Very wonderful.

1:26:11🔗 Caller She's with me. Hey, man.

1:26:12🔗 Adam Yeah. Do you introduce her as your lady friend?

1:26:15🔗 Caller I introduce her as my gash.

1:26:17🔗 David Alan Grier And she's always lippin off.

1:26:18🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, that's no way to introduce your mom, you know. I'm like, whatever. We're going to break.

1:26:23🔗 Caller No, we're not.

1:26:24🔗 Adam I want to talk to Alex. Alex?

1:26:26🔗 Caller Hi.

1:26:26🔗 Adam You're 17?

1:26:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:26:27🔗 Adam Did you finish with Elaine, by the way?

1:26:29🔗 Drew Yeah, kind of. Just that she's not adequately protected as the master chef. You need to use a condom.

1:26:34🔗 Adam Alex, what's your problem?

1:26:37🔗 Caller I have like these really huge pimples on my tools.

1:26:40🔗 Drew No, you don't.

1:26:40🔗 Caller No, you don't.

1:26:41🔗 David Alan Grier How old are you, Alex?

1:26:42🔗 Caller I'm 17.

1:26:43🔗 David Alan Grier You're 12.

1:26:44🔗 Caller What year were you born?

1:26:45🔗 Come on, 83.

1:26:47🔗 Adam All right. What month?

1:26:49🔗 July.

1:26:50🔗 Caller I see.

1:26:50🔗 Caller But that's his real birthday.

1:26:52🔗 David Alan Grier We got a fake caller.

1:26:53🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:26:53🔗 David Alan Grier Drew, trace a call, because I'm getting in the four wheel. I'm going over there and kicking some butt. Come on, trace it. Trace it. Keep talking, Alex.

1:26:59🔗 Caller I really want you to, guys, if you could like help me.

1:27:02🔗 Drew You mean you have some carbuncles, like?

1:27:04🔗 Caller Yeah, I wanted to know if you take like acne medication for it.

1:27:07🔗 Drew No. Do you have just like one or two of these things, or do you have multiple?

1:27:11🔗 Caller You're so fake.

1:27:13🔗 Caller There's like one.

1:27:14🔗 Drew Yeah, you get these carbuncles, basically.

1:27:17🔗 Adam Listen, anything that adds width to my penis, I leave it be.

1:27:21🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:21🔗 Adam I don't land it.

1:27:22🔗 David Alan Grier Do you pop it? Does it have a head on it?

1:27:24🔗 Drew Usually they do, but you can ask him. Does the pus come out if they rupture?

1:27:31🔗 Caller Yeah, like the stuff comes out of it.

1:27:34🔗 Drew What's with your nose? Do you just have a bad cold or what's going on here?

1:27:36🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:27:37🔗 Drew You have asthma too or anything like that?

1:27:38🔗 Caller Yeah, I just have a bad cold.

1:27:39🔗 David Alan Grier Adam, let me ask you a question. This is David Alan Grier. You're not Alex. You're not snorting that goofy dust, are you, son?

1:27:47🔗 Caller No.

1:27:48🔗 David Alan Grier Speak up.

1:27:49🔗 Caller No, I'm not.

1:27:49🔗 David Alan Grier I want to hear your voice, boy.

1:27:52🔗 David Alan Grier Stay away from that goofy dust because it makes you goofy, Alex.

1:27:55🔗 Drew Be careful with those carbuffles so they can really get infected.

1:27:58🔗 Caller Like, I'm a drum major for the Reseda band and...

1:28:02🔗 Drew A what, Aider?

1:28:02🔗 Adam A drum major?

1:28:03🔗 David Alan Grier He's a drum major.

1:28:04🔗 Caller I'm the leader of the Reseda band.

1:28:06🔗 Caller Of the Reseda band?

1:28:07🔗 David Alan Grier And your name is Alex?

1:28:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:28:09🔗 David Alan Grier Wait a minute. I know you, man. Wait a minute.

1:28:11🔗 Adam You know this, Kev?

1:28:12🔗 Caller No, I don't know him. Okay. But it's like when I'm trying to lead the band...

1:28:16🔗 Adam Yeah, your penis gets in the way?

1:28:18🔗 Caller Yeah, all right.

1:28:19🔗 David Alan Grier It bangs on the drum?

1:28:20🔗 Adam He's an idiot.

1:28:21🔗 Caller Good night, man.

1:28:22🔗 David Alan Grier You know he was right.

1:28:23🔗 Adam Drew, why did you want to talk? You didn't know that was bogus?

1:28:25🔗 Drew I couldn't tell.

1:28:26🔗 Adam David Alan Grier is bipolar and he does this show twice a year.

1:28:30🔗 David Alan Grier I am not bipolar.

1:28:32🔗 Adam I'm defending you. The point is he knew.

1:28:34🔗 Drew You know, you're right.

1:28:35🔗 Adam You understand?

1:28:35🔗 Caller I am not bipolar. My girlfriends are not mentally ill.

1:28:39🔗 Drew I'm always humbled in the presence of greatness.

1:28:40🔗 Adam David Alan, he has a seventh grade education. He's been doing coke for the last 15 years. He knew it was a fake call.

1:28:50🔗 David Alan Grier I did.

1:28:51🔗 Drew I'm humbled.

1:28:51🔗 David Alan Grier Let's get back to Love Line The Musical.

1:28:53🔗 Adam That was great.

1:28:53🔗 David Alan Grier Did you guys record that?

1:28:54🔗 Caller Because I can't repeat it.

1:28:56🔗 Caller I'm like a gypsy that way.

1:28:58🔗 Adam We're going to take ourselves a little break.

1:28:59🔗 Caller No more breaks.

1:28:59🔗 David Alan Grier Come back.

1:29:00🔗 Caller Come on.

1:29:00🔗 David Alan Grier Next call. Put the next call through in, honey.

1:29:02🔗 Adam We'll be right back.

1:29:24🔗 Caller You're listening to Loveline on Outrageous Talk Radio 100.7 The Buzz.

1:29:38🔗 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline of Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. David Alan Grier is our guest tonight. Star of DAG, that stands for David Alan Grier. Tuesday Nights, 9 o'clock.

1:29:49🔗 David Alan Grier 9.30, man!

1:29:50🔗 Caller What is up with you, dude?

1:29:52🔗 Adam I thought it was 9.

1:29:52🔗 David Alan Grier You know what I used to hate when you guys did the speed round?

1:29:55🔗 Caller I really, ooh, I hate that.

1:29:56🔗 Drew The lighting round.

1:29:57🔗 David Alan Grier Oh my God, don't do that.

1:29:58🔗 Drew I hate that, too.

1:29:59🔗 David Alan Grier Don't do that. And there's some, I need to talk to you, Adam. There's sometimes when, Adam, you go on these rants that...

1:30:05🔗 Drew They're weak.

1:30:06🔗 David Alan Grier They're weak, man. I know. And you know when they're weak and like you could tell when Adam is like...

1:30:10🔗 David Alan Grier He starts pushing. Yeah, he starts pushing.

1:30:12🔗 David Alan Grier He's in his like Lenny Bruce mode. And one of your boys is at home giving you pounds like, dude, when you were talking to my hubcaps for 22 minutes, dude, oh, dude, it was all that, dude.

1:30:21🔗 Drew That's as opposed to singing the musical version of Love Line, which people will be moved and moved to tears by.

1:30:27🔗 Adam David, first off, I have two things to say.

1:30:29🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, you bastard. Hold on, hold on, hold on, Adam.

1:30:31🔗 Adam Was that a spot?

1:30:32🔗 David Alan Grier You really hurt me.

1:30:33🔗 Drew I'm sorry.

1:30:33🔗 Caller You really hurt me, Drew.

1:30:34🔗 Adam Well, he's very defensive. He defends me.

1:30:36🔗 David Alan Grier He's protective.

1:30:37🔗 Drew I'm trying to help my bro here.

1:30:39🔗 Adam Listen, I'd like to defend myself on my long jags.

1:30:44🔗 Caller This is going to be a long jag, huh, boy?

1:30:46🔗 Adam This will be an ironic long jag around about a jag. Nobody tells me they're good or interesting. I don't have any homeboys at home that are kissing my ass. Everyone says they're long and arduous.

1:30:57🔗 Drew And they suck.

1:30:58🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:30:59🔗 David Alan Grier Just don't ever be a parent because if your son comes home late, look out.

1:31:03🔗 Adam Oh, my God.

1:31:04🔗 Caller Sit down. What do you want here?

1:31:06🔗 Adam He'll be begging for a time out.

1:31:08🔗 Caller Holly?

1:31:09🔗 Adam Dad, I got you the belt. Please beat me. Anything. Just shut up.

1:31:12🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:31:13🔗 Caller Hold on. Holly.

1:31:14🔗 David Alan Grier Holly or Holly?

1:31:15🔗 Caller Holly.

1:31:15🔗 Caller It's Oli.

1:31:16🔗 Caller Oli.

1:31:17🔗 David Alan Grier That's a beautiful name. How old are you?

1:31:19🔗 Caller 13.

1:31:20🔗 Adam What's up, Oli?

1:31:21🔗 Caller I want to know if it's possible to be on and off of depression. Yeah.

1:31:25🔗 Drew Especially at your age, people can feel bad, then not so bad. How bad do you feel when you're feeling bad?

1:31:33🔗 Caller Like, I mean like in my room all day and I'll be like crying or I just won't want to do anything.

1:31:39🔗 Drew How often does that happen?

1:31:42🔗 Caller Well, right now, it's been happening a lot.

1:31:44🔗 Drew How often?

1:31:45🔗 Caller Maybe about twice a week.

1:31:48🔗 Adam Do you have anything good to be depressed about?

1:31:51🔗 Caller Well, about two years ago, my grandma died. And after that, I was like, kind of like, I don't know, I was suicidal.

1:32:00🔗 Adam Yeah, there's got to be something more than that.

1:32:03🔗 Drew Is there a depression in your family somewhere?

1:32:04🔗 Adam She didn't leave you anything? There's got to be more than that.

1:32:07🔗 Drew Depression in your family?

1:32:08🔗 Caller Yeah, she left me something.

1:32:09🔗 Adam I see.

1:32:11🔗 Caller Well, we had like mental illness in our family.

1:32:14🔗 Caller What kind of mental illness?

1:32:15🔗 Caller I don't really know.

1:32:16🔗 David Alan Grier Do you have any older sisters? Are they dating?

1:32:18🔗 Caller No, I don't know.

1:32:19🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, okay, darling. You guys take this call.

1:32:22🔗 Drew But, Olly, it's possible that maybe you inherited a genetic potential for depression. It's possible that having grown up around parents, the mental illness that sort of set you up for this. So it's a situation where there seems to be more than just grieving over the loss of someone. And indeed, after six months, the grieving should be included.

1:32:38🔗 Adam How about if you just listen to that footloose song every time you feel bad?

1:32:42🔗 David Alan Grier Which song is that? Which one are you talking about?

1:32:44🔗 Caller Now I gotta cut loose, footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes, jeez, Louie, yeah, that song.

1:32:54🔗 David Alan Grier Do they allow dancing in your school?

1:32:56🔗 Adam In my school, yeah.

1:32:57🔗 Caller Yeah, because when I saw that movie.

1:32:59🔗 Drew You ought to get evaluated to see if there may be some medication might help you out.

1:33:02🔗 David Alan Grier Speaking of medication, Dr. Drew, do you have some? I need some sleeping pills and I need to write medication.

1:33:07🔗 Drew I swear to God, between the two of you.

1:33:09🔗 David Alan Grier No, I'm saying the truth because I have sleep deficits.

1:33:14🔗 Drew So does this guy.

1:33:15🔗 David Alan Grier I don't sleep and then I have to work and here's what it is. I go to sleep and then I get anxiety because I count my hours. Because I know that I have a 14-hour day and I'm like, okay, now I'm not, it's 10 o'clock. I got to be up at six now.

1:33:29🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, now I can't.

1:33:31🔗 David Alan Grier Then that makes me not sleep more. Yes. Right. So I need some beans, brother. Something that mixes well with vodka, hold on, and gin. No, I don't drink. I don't drink at all. But you know, it's sleep and go.

1:33:42🔗 Drew Sebastian, 25.

1:33:45🔗 Caller David Alan Grier, what's up?

1:33:47🔗 David Alan Grier What's up, Sebastian?

1:33:48🔗 Caller I enjoyed DAG so much and I want to thank that guy that was co-starring the white boy on the B team.

1:33:53🔗 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

1:33:54🔗 Caller Steve Dunham.

1:33:55🔗 Caller You're fine looking in that.

1:33:56🔗 Drew You're gay.

1:33:58🔗 Adam Sebastian, you gay?

1:34:00🔗 Caller Well, I'm known here at Rocky Horror in Tucson as the world's favorite bisexual.

1:34:05🔗 David Alan Grier Wow. Really?

1:34:05🔗 Drew What world's favorite?

1:34:06🔗 David Alan Grier Steve Dunham is a straight shooter, my friend, but he is an actor who came in audition.

1:34:11🔗 Caller I'm only attracted to guys I can't have, generally only straight guys, so.

1:34:14🔗 David Alan Grier Right, I hear you. Right. How do you gay guys like that? You like, what is it with the gay world when all the gay guys, they want to turn out the straightest guy in America?

1:34:22🔗 Caller Like, I'm sleeping with Jerry Falwell. I swear I am.

1:34:26🔗 Caller He's sexy.

1:34:28🔗 Caller Well, Jerry doesn't do anything for me, but hey, I have a favor.

1:34:30🔗 Caller What?

1:34:31🔗 Caller If I told you I was rolling a tape right now, would you say something for my voicemail?

1:34:34🔗 Caller No.

1:34:35🔗 David Alan Grier Next caller.

1:34:36🔗 Caller Oh, come on.

1:34:37🔗 David Alan Grier Next caller. We're helping people tonight.

1:34:40🔗 Adam David doesn't like the buys. He told me during the break.

1:34:42🔗 Caller Well, thanks, guys.

1:34:43🔗 David Alan Grier Thanks a lot, man. Were you in the Glam Slam?

1:34:45🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:34:46🔗 Adam All right. Take care of yourself. All right. Where are we going here, Drew?

1:34:49🔗 Drew I'm just looking here.

1:34:50🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Just browsing. You want to talk to this?

1:34:52🔗 Drew That's fine.

1:34:53🔗 Adam Yolanda?

1:34:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:55🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:34:56🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:34:56🔗 Adam What's up?

1:34:57🔗 Hey. Well, I finally broke out this weekend and went out. I don't go out a whole lot because I don't know, I don't have sex a whole lot with different people. I'm kind of quiet. Yeah.

1:35:13🔗 Drew You had sex with somebody this weekend?

1:35:14🔗 Yeah.

1:35:16🔗 Drew What's going on?

1:35:16🔗 David Alan Grier Was it a hookup, a one night booty call? What's going on?

1:35:19🔗 Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's how I like to do it.

1:35:24🔗 David Alan Grier Was alcohol involved? Was alcohol involved?

1:35:26🔗 Oh, yeah.

1:35:27🔗 David Alan Grier Did you get loose enough?

1:35:28🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:35:28🔗 Drew What's the question?

1:35:29🔗 Adam Some heroin was involved too.

1:35:30🔗 Now I'm like itching real bad.

1:35:33🔗 Drew Down there?

1:35:33🔗 David Alan Grier Itching, right. What'd he do to you, baby? Did he put his nasty stick in you?

1:35:37🔗 Oh, everywhere. I mean, God, it was crazy.

1:35:41🔗 Adam Hey, Yolanda.

1:35:42🔗 Caller Well, hold on, hold on.

1:35:43🔗 David Alan Grier Let me get this number, man.

1:35:44🔗 Caller Hold on, hold on.

1:35:44🔗 Adam Are you a drug addict? No. No, don't you, Dr. Well, we're not drinking. Okay.

1:35:49🔗 Drew Listen, burning.

1:35:50🔗 Caller I drink occasionally.

1:35:51🔗 Drew Yolanda, burning, itching and discharges.

1:35:54🔗 Caller It just itches.

1:35:55🔗 Caller It's just, I mean.

1:35:57🔗 Drew Okay.

1:35:57🔗 David Alan Grier Well, that's that's condom. Do you remember?

1:35:59🔗 Caller Oh, of course.

1:36:01🔗 Drew Oh, wait.

1:36:01🔗 David Alan Grier No, I don't believe that.

1:36:02🔗 Caller Oh, of course.

1:36:05🔗 Caller This is an STD.

1:36:06🔗 Caller We use quite a few.

1:36:08🔗 Drew Really?

1:36:08🔗 Caller How many did you use, baby?

1:36:10🔗 Caller Um, about six.

1:36:12🔗 David Alan Grier Six? No, she said six.

1:36:15🔗 Drew Whatever, Yolanda, it's a sexually transmitted disease, okay? You've got to get checked out right away.

1:36:20🔗 Caller Oh, really?

1:36:21🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:36:22🔗 Caller Well, that's terrible. You know, you hold back and wait and then go out.

1:36:26🔗 David Alan Grier Hey, baby, that's it. But you know, you know, an anonymous booty call, that's what happens when you roll the dice.

1:36:32🔗 Caller You roll the dice.

1:36:34🔗 Adam Jesus Christ.

1:36:35🔗 David Alan Grier Yolanda.

1:36:36🔗 Adam Christy.

1:36:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:36:37🔗 Adam You're 20?

1:36:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:36:39🔗 Adam Quick question for David.

1:36:40🔗 Caller Yes, I was wondering if he was ever shy when he started acting.

1:36:43🔗 Adam Ever?

1:36:44🔗 Caller I was no.

1:36:47🔗 David Alan Grier Yeah, I'm not like this when you get to know me. I'm like, I'm really like, honestly, no, when I go home, I'm definitely, I'm like a policeman.

1:36:54🔗 Drew He's more boring than Adam is.

1:36:56🔗 David Alan Grier No, I'm not boring, Dr. Drew, but I'm not, I'm not like crazy guy. Like at home, if I come home, you're my, you know, my little surf Betty and stuff like, honey, what'd you do tonight? I was on the radio, whatever.

1:37:05🔗 Caller Right, right.

1:37:07🔗 Adam Well, that's bipolar.

1:37:08🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, stop it. I was a class clown. When I was in school, I was a class clown.

1:37:12🔗 Adam Right. Longing for the attention. Never got from his parents.

1:37:15🔗 Caller Right.

1:37:15🔗 David Alan Grier Exactly.

1:37:15🔗 Caller Stop, stop.

1:37:16🔗 Adam Two wrapped up in their own careers.

1:37:18🔗 David Alan Grier You know, what is normal for you two knuckleheads, huh? Is there such a thing?

1:37:21🔗 Drew No.

1:37:22🔗 David Alan Grier No, of course not, Dr. Drew.

1:37:23🔗 Adam No, there's better than you, baby.

1:37:25🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew.

1:37:26🔗 Caller Yeah, well, I'm normal.

1:37:27🔗 David Alan Grier Okay, there's people out there who love me and they love me for who and what I am.

1:37:31🔗 Adam That's right.

1:37:32🔗 Caller And every time you talk about me, Adam, you dance real fast.

1:37:35🔗 Caller Make sure they do.

1:37:37🔗 Caller It really hurts.

1:37:38🔗 Caller No, I'm sorry, man.

1:37:39🔗 David Alan Grier I come here every time.

1:37:42🔗 Caller I was just kidding.

1:37:43🔗 Caller You just beat me up.

1:37:45🔗 Caller And it hurts.

1:37:49🔗 Adam You want to go for a jacuzzi or something after the show?

1:37:51🔗 Caller No!

1:37:53🔗 David Alan Grier I just want to stop it.

1:37:56🔗 Caller Adam.

1:37:57🔗 Adam Unless I know a little out of the way place we can be left alone.

1:38:00🔗 David Alan Grier Stop Adam!

1:38:01🔗 Caller I'm serious!

1:38:05🔗 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, can I have some sleeping pills?

1:38:07🔗 Caller Maybe some Dylodon?

1:38:09🔗 David Alan Grier Oh, Valium, 25 ml.

1:38:10🔗 Caller God, nothing works!

1:38:11🔗 David Alan Grier I thought I was gonna get some drugs out of him.

1:38:33🔗 Adam All right, everybody, that is it.

1:38:35🔗 Caller DAG.

1:38:36🔗 David Alan Grier Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1:38:37🔗 Adam 930.

1:38:38🔗 Caller Guys, let's take a call.

1:38:39🔗 Caller Come on.

1:38:40🔗 Caller No, we're done. Let's end the call.

1:38:41🔗 Adam Tuesday nights.

1:38:42🔗 Caller And we'll see.

1:38:43🔗 David Alan Grier Put me through to Kimmy. Kimmy, you're 12.

1:38:46🔗 Caller What's going on?

1:38:47🔗 David Alan Grier Robin, Robin, you're 22.

1:38:49🔗 Adam Thank you, man.

1:38:50🔗 David Alan Grier And you have a Carbone call on your...

1:38:52🔗 Adam And Lovin David Alan Grier.

1:38:53🔗 Caller We'll be back.

1:38:54🔗 Adam And until next time, is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew? And David Alan Grier, saying mahalo.

1:38:59🔗 David Alan Grier Just like a little plop here, a little skeet there, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, everywhere.

1:39:04🔗 David Alan Grier Everybody, everybody skeet, skeet.

1:39:06🔗 Caller That's how you do your threesomes with me.

1:39:10🔗 Caller Hello? Is this Loveline?

1:39:11🔗 Caller Call 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1.

1:39:16🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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