1:02🔗VoiceoverListener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.
1:13🔗AdamHey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Yes. In tonight for Dr. Bruce. Dr. Drew's filming for Dr. Bruce. That's the way I look at it, at least for the remainder of this week. And we'll play next week by year. We will, Dave.
1:29🔗VoiceoverPhone number 1-800-LOVE-191-FACTS, number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist, fresh from his triumphant tour of Washington, DC.
2:01🔗DrewBut it was interesting. I spoke on Capitol Hill, and then that was more of a sort of coalition building experience with lots of other lobby groups. That was that was interesting. And then I spoke on behalf of the National Institute of Health later that afternoon. And where that was at the National Press Club. And that was speaking on behalf of the government, right? With the government and you have no idea how bizarre it is trying to just advocate on behalf of the government when you have the Washington Press there. Here's how it went basically. We got this thing where you teach kids about keeping their brain healthy and how XC what not affects brain. We have all this research, press immediately. How much money are you spending on this? Well, we did seven PSAs. I'm donating my time. I think they spent 160,000 on PSAs. How dare you? Then it's what? We got this big problem. Yeah, it's a huge problem. Why aren't you spending more money? How much money? How much do you think this is going to do against the huge problem? Well, we don't have the budget. Well, we're not suggesting you spend more money.
3:24🔗AdamNo actual senators or anything like that? No, no, no, no, no. No. See, I knew it. This is like the time you told me you're going to be on Larry King.
3:35🔗AdamAnd you said, as far as I know, just me on Larry King. And I said, we'll see about that. Turn on the TV later that night. There's a Drew and the the mother love. No, I was, you know, my brain is frackers and get enough sleep last night. But at the Mormon Tabernacle Choir with Dr. Drew and Mother Love and and 18 of the original 26 Harlem Globetrotters, the King Family and the Councils. All right. Kennedy, who you guys all remember as the Virgin Kennedy from MTV fame and a few other endeavors will be on here. Kennedy and Drew are doing a pilot daytime TV show. And she's going to come in here. She's a favorite of ours, a good personal friend of ours. And she'll be in here just a little bit later on. And that's good because I didn't get any sleep last night so she can carry the show tonight. That's what I'm looking forward to. And, Drew, you'll be here for the rest of the evening or do you have to go somewhere?
5:00🔗CallerAnd me and my buddies, and last time we were at a rave in May, we, we, I've got a source for some Pure E.
5:09🔗AdamYeah. What's the difference between the Pure E you can get and the E I have to buy at the park?
5:15🔗CallerOh, that stuff's pure. It's guaranteed. It's pure. It's no, nothing cut it.
5:20🔗AdamI see. So you're saying the difference between the Pure E and the stuff everyone else gets is yours is pure? Hold on a sec. Drew, pad and pencil.
5:45🔗AdamJesus, sounds like he's been driving a truck since Korea.
5:48🔗CallerWe met three girls and my buddies had a video camera and they wanted to take the East. So the three girls did. We got them on video, given permission to and after that...
6:04🔗DrewWhat, we give them permission? Yeah, like a release there for this is your likeness maybe.
7:21🔗AdamAnd when you're 17, you sound like you're 47. Jesus Christ. The hell goes on at these raves? Oh, my God. I'll tell you what I'd like to do. While your kids are at the raves, all the kids' parents should be arrested. They really should. You imagine, you got a 16-year-old girl, she's heading off to the rave. Are you kidding me?
7:49🔗AdamAll right, honey, I want you to be home by the time the street lights go off. What time is that? About 6.30 in the morning? Holy Christ. Honey, you said you're going to be in a 345, it is now 420. Where have you been? I phoned all the cheap motels looking for you. I don't know. Did he have a question?
8:30🔗AdamThese days. What screwball boyfriend of hers does not have a video camera? And if I had my hands on a video camera at 15 and was getting laid, you're goddamn right I'd be taping it.
8:44🔗AdamAnd how freaky would it be to watch now? I mean, can you imagine seeing your scrawny white bear ass on top of some pimpled face chick with a retainer? Just the decor in the room would be worth it. See your Allman Brothers poster and your lava lamp and your beanbag chair off in the corner? How freaky would that be? All right, Kenneth, what's up?
9:07🔗All right, first of all, I want to say you guys are great. Adam, you're very funny, and Drew, you help out a lot.
9:38🔗AdamThis is bad times, brother. Because you're not having the intercourse because you're trying to sort of sidestep Jesus. Meanwhile, you're getting the BJ and you think you're pulling a fast one over on the big man upstairs. But he shoots a bolt of lightning down your nuts and you can't have an orgasm. See how that works?
10:16🔗AdamLet me explain something. I heard this story that Tiger Woods' dad, when he was like ten and out on the links, would jack him off. You thought I was going somewhere. No. Tiger Woods' dad, when he was out on the links, he'd be getting ready to drive, right? He's like ten years old and his dad would be yelling trying to distract him. Hey, hey. You know what I mean? Hey, half-breed. You know what I mean? Wow. Yelling stuff. I made the half-breed part of it. That's me. That's called artistic license there, Drew. The point is, he wanted Tiger to be able to play under these conditions. Now, here's what I think Kenneth needs to do.
10:54🔗AdamKenneth needs to get like a strobe light going and put some AM talk radio on, maybe a religious station. You know what I mean? Open the curtains.
11:10🔗AdamNow, if you can have an orgasm under these adverse conditions, then when you're in a quiet room with your girlfriend, she's giving you a pleasure to be able to squeeze one off. That's what I do. That's how I keep my edge. Marie?
11:28🔗CallerWell, I'm going out with this guy. And I was seeing his brother about two years ago. And I've been going out with this guy for about a year. And I can't help but have dreams about this other guy. And whenever I see him, I can't, like, I keep thinking about how it was with us.
13:08🔗AdamHe wasn't comfortable with it. Good. Yeah. That's right. I like that. You know... Hold still. I'm not too comfortable with this right now. Here, you want some?
13:19🔗AdamHold on. Hold on. Take it all. Take it all. Yeah. Okay. Now, I want you to know just for the... Can you turn over? No, not wheelbarrows. Go, dog. Okay. Yeah. I want you... Hold my beer. I want you to know right now... Okay. Hold on. Don't talk. Let me focus here. All right. I'm not real... Okay. You got to go.
13:38🔗DrewNo. I'm so sorry. This is really bothering me.
13:41🔗AdamI'm so sorry. I'm not very comfortable with this situation. Now, get on your moped and go home. All right. That's wonderful. Listen, I... Marie, I question the whole family. How good can this brother be?
15:08🔗CallerBut that was like a couple months ago.
15:09🔗AdamAll right. Well, you have no excuse then. If you like the brother, stay with the brother. If you're thinking about the older brother, fine. You don't have to act on it. Listen, everybody. Everyone thinks about everything all the time. You get a little bit older, you realize you have crazy ass running through your head constantly. You have fantasies. You think about old lovers, old jobs, old bosses, old everything. Old cars and old bicycles.
15:32🔗AdamHere's the deal, though. You just keep going. It's like you become like Tiger Woods with his dad yelling while you're trying to hit a tee shot. You just keep going. You just don't pay attention. Now, you want to drop the club and turn around and start walking toward dad, then you're in trouble. So, that's it. You're thinking about the guy?
16:03🔗CallerI have this weird sleep thing. I don't know if you'd call it a sleeping disorder or what, but it's been happening a lot more than it used to lately. I will wake up in the morning or actually I'll wake up at any time when I've been sleeping and my eyes will open. My whole body is completely paralyzed and I cannot move.
16:29🔗DrewI beg your pardon, night terrors, we actually get up and yell. There are, what is the name for this? But it's part of the same syndrome.
16:35🔗CallerI heard it's called, I was talking to my dad about it because he gets it too, but not as much as I do and not as bad. Right. He thinks it's called sleep apnea.
16:46🔗DrewNo, it's not sleep apnea. He might get sleep apnea, but that's not what you have. No, this is more on the order of it. It is a sleep disorder and it is you being stuck in a certain stage of sleep, even though you're beginning to awaken. It can be associated with seizure type phenomenon. So it's not necessarily anything wrong. Do you take any medication?
17:04🔗CallerNo, nothing. The reason why I'm actually calling now, like before I just shrugged it off and figured, well, it happens, but like about a week and a half ago, I couldn't breathe. Like I stopped breathing. What I have to do a lot of times is just try really hard and I wake myself up. But the other day, I could not breathe and when I woke up, I was like, yeah.
17:35🔗DrewThat's more of a sleep apnea syndrome and that is something that does happen to people. You dream you're underwater, right?
17:43🔗AdamYou're 100 percent. All right. What should she do, Drew?
17:47🔗DrewI think it would be worthwhile if she was talking to a doctor. It might be worth it. Let me ask her, was she overweight? Let me ask her that.
18:11🔗DrewYeah, I thought you talked about it. It may be part of a more substantial sleep disorder.
18:15🔗AdamShe brought her dad up and reminded me of something I had with my dad today. Apropos to nothing, but that's the entire show. I was working at my house today, the party palace and leading the Latinos in a big, big work-off over there and my dad swung by, and a tool that I just bought, random orbital sander.
18:41🔗AdamTook it right out of the box, didn't work. I said, Jesus Christ, by the time I get back to Home Depot and take this thing back, it ain't even worth the 55 bucks a thing cost. It's not worth, it's going to take me two hours. My dad, who's really been kissing up to me lately, and he must want something. I don't know, he's the father I never had. My dad has turned into the father I never had. My dad goes, I'll go over to Home Depot, I'll drop it off, I'll exchange it. Wow. I said, dad, that's great. That's fantastic. Here's the receipt. All you got to do is bring it in there, and I just traded in. This one doesn't work. Still in the box. Here's the receipt. I bought it two hours ago. Give it to the guy in the tool department, get a new one, come back. He says, okay. I said, call me if there's any problems. He's got the box, he goes over there. He says, listen, he calls me an hour later. I'm over at the Home Depot. You can't just return it to the tool department. You have to go to the returns department, and then they credit, give your credit card credit, and then you use your money to go to the tool department by a new one. I said, that's fine. Thanks. Just get me a new one. Okay. He said, what was that tool again? I said, look at the box. I don't have the box, I return the thing. I said, okay. Listen to me very carefully, dad, do you have a pad and pencil there? No. Porter cable, five inch, random orbital, disk sander, hook and loop pad. He says, Potter hobble? That's a dad. Now, this is my dad. My dad's the guy who doesn't know any of my best friend's first names. You know what I mean? He's the guy. He's the guy that when I was talking to him about my partner Jimmy and I said, yeah, Jimmy's a good guy and Drew's a good guy too. He said, who's Drew? Better yet, he thought Drew was another guy named Drew who's a friend of a friend of mine who I don't even know. Oh, my God. I said, Dad, listen to me very carefully. Porter Cable, five-inch random orbital sander. Hi. Potter, Potter Hommel, rototiller. I said, Dad, it's not going to work. We need a pad and pencil. I don't have one. Now, say it one more time. I think I can get it. Porter Cable, five-inch. Hold on, start over. Forget about the five-inch. Porter Cable, random orbital sander. Porter Cable, roto-hammer. No, no, no. Okay, Dad, forget it. I mean, listen, Dad, I can't get three syllables into this thing. You're gone. I swear to Christ, I said, Dad, meet my friend, Jeff. He'd say, how are you doing, John? So I realized this is impossible. Says, Dad, you got a portable phone. You're on your cell phone? That's right. Start walking for the tool department. So I'm walking my dad through. It's like we're disarming a bomb. You know, you're in the tool department now, Dad. Yes. Okay. On the southeast corner of the tool, face southeast. Okay. Now walk forward about 20 paces to your left. You should see a box. Just put a cable on it, about the size of a football. I said, Dad, get someone to help you. He hangs up, calls me back an hour later. Son, we can't find it. I said, Dad, Dad, here's what it is. The old one was $54.95, right? Go get any sander that costs $54.95. It'll have to be that one. Calls back 20 minutes later. He has a guy with him. Now he's on the phone. Porter Cable, Random Orbital. Same guy? Yeah, he finally came back with it. It all worked out. Jesus Christ. I thought, all right, it's time to put him down. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, I remember when my dad got me my first butt plug. The Virgin Kennedy, who's no longer Virgin anymore because she's married, has rolled into the studio. She's looking good. She hasn't aged at all in the six months I've seen her. All right, she's going to come in here. Drew, you're going to talk about the new pilot?
22:29🔗AdamAll righty. And we'll also talk to Crystal. 16, 20 years old boyfriend jumped in front of a bus because he thought she cheated. Wait a second. The last person who jumped in front of a bus was the guy. Waited until the bus stopped.
24:23🔗AdamHey, why don't you tell everybody what's been going on with you since, let's say, MTV and doing the Olympics and Nagano. And all that stuff because there may be some people around the country lost track of you. And of course, publishing a book and having a litter of Hispanic kids and all the things you've been up to in the last few years.
24:44🔗KennedyWell, you've pretty much covered it. I left MTV in 1997.
24:48🔗AdamAnd now did you leave them or did they leave you?
24:51🔗KennedyI left them. I left them on very good terms and I said, thank you for the five years.
25:09🔗KennedyYou know what? Suck my white balls. You are such a damn baby. At least Drew had a good excuse. Drew couldn't go because he was going to his little fancy pants. I'm a doctor. I had to go to my 20 year college reunion.
25:21🔗AdamOh, I had to go to my 18 year Valley college reunion.
25:25🔗KennedyNo, you didn't. You didn't have anything. You were lazy and you were probably eating canned clams so you could make bad farts to offend Jimmy with on your van trip to Vegas or something.
25:38🔗AdamThat's probably right. Wait a minute. I got to check my calendar.
26:46🔗KennedyYeah, she did. It's made out of foil and my first pair of song panties.
26:50🔗AdamAnd now you're looking to head back into television where you belong. And you'll be working with the fabulous Dr. Drew.
27:00🔗KennedyWell, a lot of things have to happen before we actually work together on a TV show. I mean, you know that. You make a little Fardy presentation tape and the executives go, wow, that was great. Thanks for coming.
27:11🔗AdamRight. Right. That's how it goes for most people. I don't know how the heartache of disappointment works though, because everything I do turns to spun gold. But I do know how it works for the rest of you in the business. And I know that not everything, not every pilot turns into a series.
27:26🔗AdamBut with you two working together, although we don't know, Drew is pretty improving without me. But with you two together, I think you guys should be able to pull off a real strong pilot.
27:48🔗KennedyYeah, and she's a great idea, a large woman.
27:51🔗DrewYou know Doug Wilson from Politically Incorrect.
27:53🔗AdamYes. Doug Wilson is the genius, or was the genius, behind Politically Incorrect. Very, very talented man. So he's going to be involved with this.
29:14🔗AdamWhat is she doing? Because, you know, for me, I love listening to talk radio, but I won't listen to it at home. I got to be commuting or doing something.
29:28🔗KennedyAnd I'll come home and Tom Likus will be on because I'm on right before Tom Likus is on the buzz and the dog will be sitting there with a very confused look on her face.
29:47🔗AdamHe, who broke his back, is he OK now? Twice.
29:49🔗KennedyYeah, he's great. OK, so he's still snowboarding and he is, he is, he's the strength behind Team Supernatural, which is the greatest amalgamation of young snowboarders and snowboarding talent ever.
30:01🔗AdamI know. My dad was just talking to me about it before he went to Home Depot today. I don't think my dad knows what a snowboard is.
30:09🔗KennedyDo you know how many people will sit on a plane, they're like, so what does your husband do? He's a snowboarder. Is it like surfing?
30:15🔗KennedyYeah, it is. It's exactly like surfing.
30:17🔗AdamYou're still too hip though. All right, so Lakers on after your husband sits home and listens to you. Fantastic. My dad lives in Los Angeles, wants to know if he can come on the show Friday at around 7.30.
30:53🔗AdamI like that by the way. Her boyfriend calls up and says, here's what happened. Now she's calling to clarify things. Drew says, let's hear your side of the story, and she says it's not my side. Hey Crystal?
31:06🔗KennedyIt's the story, that's what she's saying.
31:14🔗CallerIt's because he threw on stuff in the bus because I told him, because he is kind of psycho. He's crazy to me. And I got sick of him accusing me of he-no-no. And so like he's the kind that don't like nobody picking me up, no guys, me dealing with nobody.
31:30🔗AdamSo his kind of boyfriend doesn't like you giving sex to other guys?
32:06🔗CallerSo now that he put himself in front of us because he got really cheated on him and the guy came forth and told him he didn't cheat on him and everything. And that the guy lied on me because he was mad because I guess he liked me and he went telling him I did. But then he came back and forth and told him he didn't.
32:33🔗CallerThen his mama, his mother, she was telling him how I did cheat with him and how all these years she didn't want me to be with him and stuff. So I had that on my mind. So now he's kind of mad because I'm not giving him enough like I used to.
33:49🔗AdamListen to me, Eugenius. Yes. I'm the smartest man in the world and I'm telling you, you're going to get pregnant, you're going to ruin your life, and you're going to adversely affect my life. Not as much as it's going to affect your life, but you're going to have some dents on my life. I have a few more in taxes and your son's probably going to roll me to ATM in 20 years. Now listen to me, do not get pregnant. Do you hear me? Yeah. It'll ruin your life.
34:11🔗DrewGet on the birth control pill nor plant something.
34:13🔗AdamDo not have sex with this guy. This pullout technique, this ain't a technique.
34:27🔗DrewIf you're trying not to get pregnant, we got to pilot do for Christ's sake. And Kennedy and I were having a discussion earlier today about people that beat their kids.
34:53🔗KennedyYeah, we were talking about whoopins. But I was the one who said, well, damn kids need a good whoopin is what they need.
34:59🔗AdamListen, I'm giving my kid the iron boot. I'm not going to kick him. I'm just going to actually hand him an iron boot.
35:05🔗DrewI need some corroboration on this one. Back me up on this. That the guy that's going to hit you with a shiv at the ATM is the guy that was whooped by his mom.
35:13🔗AdamIt helps. It helps. But no dad and no discipline helps, too.
35:18🔗KennedyNo discipline. That's what we're talking about. Thank you. I said that parents do not give their children enough discipline and structure. And if they learn how to tell their kids no every once in a while, these are the problems. These are the results of no discipline. But see, parents think that no spanking equals no discipline. Well, you know, I'm not going to yell at my child. I'm not going to raise my voice because that is just that's just not the way to do things. So I'm just going to present them with an alternative. I won't say no ever.
35:43🔗AdamI suggest the brand of parenting my parents took, which is they gave themselves a timeout. My mom locked herself in a room for 11 years. My mom took an 11 year timeout. Her timeout was, I'm going to smoke pot on a rattan chair in the back with my friend Pat. You go to your buddy's house and get something to eat.
36:02🔗KennedySee, my mom would always threaten us with a wooden spoon. I've never ever been touched with a wooden spoon, but it was like, here's the wooden spoon. It would just calm us down. My friend's mom had the wooden spoon that she kept in the mail box. She would keep the wooden spoon in the mail box in case the kids were playing out in the yard and she didn't have to go all the way back in the house. She would keep the wooden spoon in the mail box.
36:25🔗AdamWas this an extra wooden spoon that she kept outside?
36:33🔗AdamNice. My mom was going to threaten me with a wooden spoon, but she didn't know what a spoon was because she'd never been in the goddamn kitchen. I had to hand her a wooden spoon. She originally was one of those rubber spatulas is what she held up and said, I'm going to beat you with this wooden spoon.
36:53🔗AdamHe wants me to leave him something. All right, we're going to take a little break. The Fabulous Kennedy is our guest tonight. And when we come back, we'll talk to more of you after this.
37:40🔗AdamHey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, this is Dr. Drew over there. Kennedy has joined us, one of our favorite people in the whole world. Thank you, Adam.
37:48🔗KennedyThank you for having me. And you too, Drew.
37:51🔗AdamMy pleasure. I found out that 9.58 tonight, in 32 seconds. Hey, Kennedy is coming to Niagara. She's doing a pilot with the famous Dr. Drew, and we'll see how that goes. Drew?
38:13🔗AdamI didn't mean it to sound that way. I realized that I didn't have anything to say after it, like here's where you can find it, or here's what nights it's going to be on. So I was just trying to feather my way out of the pilot conversation.
39:57🔗CallerHe worked in the film industry. It was a cast and crew party for a film he's working on. And how do I know he's telling the truth? Well, first, he told me. But I found out he only told me because he knew that one of his friends' wives was going to tell me.
40:11🔗AdamYou know what I love about guys? This guy was so pumped that he banged the super molla, he had to actually tell his girlfriend.
40:21🔗DrewShe's practically giving him a high five. She's certainly giving him a buy on this.
40:25🔗KennedyBut that is something only people in Los Angeles will do.
40:28🔗AdamBut hold on, guys, I want you to all keep this one in your hip pocket because if you ever get popped for cheating, just go the super molla route.
40:36🔗DrewNo, this is the same girl that would have beaten up any girl that would come after her boyfriend.
40:43🔗AdamI think if you got popped, Kennedy, well, you don't have a high tolerance for cheating and you're very physical. But if Dave, your husband got popped for cheating, right? And it was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It was Letitia Costa. And he gave you a whole song and dance about who's your favorite dude. You know what I mean? Is it me? I don't know. Who is it?
41:05🔗KennedyWho is my favorite? You know what? I had a sex dream about Pete Sampras and I told him about it.
41:09🔗AdamHere's my point. Here's my point. If he came back at you and went, if you're at a party, you're drinking and Pete Sampras came on to you, come on, come on.
41:33🔗AdamYou know what I'm saying? Yeah, okay. It would help some.
41:36🔗KennedyIt would help some. But there are people who have these lists. I mean, there are people who say to themselves, okay, if I ever run into Letitia Costa, then I'm going to... Do I have your permission? Yes, of course, because they think it's never going to happen. Who has sex with Letitia Costa?
41:50🔗AdamI have one of those lists. It's a rape list, but it's the same list, same names. Well, what am I going to do, woo her? Come on, be realistic. Kathleen? All right, so he had sex with Letitia Costa, who's really hot.
43:17🔗KennedyDid he hurt you? Did he even hurt you?
43:20🔗DrewWhat is your question? What is your question?
43:22🔗CallerOkay, my question is, again, any other situation, I would... Okay, you know what? We don't... I don't need this. You obviously don't need me. However...
43:30🔗KennedySo you know what it is. She's in Los Angeles. She's so worried that her husband's career, like if he's that hot that he can get a supermodel, it's gonna blow up and she's gonna miss the gravy train. So she's gonna hang on.
43:39🔗DrewWait, Kathleen, you need to understand something. You need to understand more about how men work. Seriously. I mean, she's thinking like, oh, this guy cheated only because it was this overwhelming situation and that any other cheating would mean he doesn't want to be in the relationship.
43:58🔗DrewHe doesn't want to be in the... You know what I'm saying? He doesn't want to be in the relationship. He doesn't love me. That's why he's cheating. Guys cheat because they can cheat.
44:07🔗DrewAnd this is just a situation that sort of put pressure on that to cause him to cheat. But he would cheat if he had a situation with a lesser stimulus but less likely to be caught, he'd also cheat.
44:20🔗KennedyAnd that's also the only reason that he told her was because he was caught.
44:37🔗AdamI think there's a big difference between Leticia Costa and some chick you work with. Now, just listen to me, Kathleen. I'd forgive him, keep an eye on him, and let this one slide. You're not married, right?
45:10🔗KennedyYou have Marcus Schenkenberg's baby. I hear he's available now.
45:12🔗DrewHow long should she watch him before she gets reengaged?
45:16🔗AdamHere's all I'm saying. You'll have your answer in the next six months of whether this guy was worth hanging out for or not. In the meantime, you're not doing anything in the next six months, so hang out. By the way, reap the rewards of his F up. He's going to be treating you better than he ever has. You know what I'm saying? Why get out now? You know what I mean? Let him kiss your ass for a few months and then dump it.
45:39🔗DrewI would bet strongly that he has done this before. This is not the first time.
45:43🔗KennedyI would say so, but he was about to get caught and he was a little bit proud of it.
45:52🔗CallerWell, my dad has, like recently, my mother come in front of me about going to lesbian websites and she said she was freaked out and I didn't go to them. And she asked my dad about it and I never got a response from her about whether or not he was looking at them. But it's just kind of freaky because she was really freaked out. And I just think it's gross. And I know guys will look at porn and stuff, but it's just my mom thought it was me and that, like, I think it's kind of rude that she automatically.
46:22🔗AdamAll right. So did you tell her mom, your mom it wasn't you?
46:25🔗CallerYeah, I told her it wasn't me, but she doesn't believe me because she's like, I've kind of broken her trust before from doing the other stuff.
46:42🔗AdamDoes she have any reason to think you're a lesbian?
46:44🔗KennedyBut how much easier is it for the mother to think that her daughter is the one looking at lesbian porn because, you know, she's mischievous, she's a girl, she's experimental, all these things, but if she has to come to the realization that her husband is doing this, right, that's the worst-case scenario for the mom.
47:08🔗KennedyDoes my mom live in your fantasy world, Adam?
47:10🔗AdamShe lives in Drew's mom's fantasy world. Drew's mom cornered me to party, had a few high balls and told me about her playing with Les Brown in the 40s for about, well, it's actually to present day. The story started in 1939 and went into 2000. Hey, Kimberly? Yeah? We got to go to break. This, I don't care about this that much, okay? It's not that big a deal.
48:46🔗AdamKennedy is in town doing Politically Incorrect and doing herself an award-winning radio show up in Seattle and is also doing a pilot with the fabulous Dr. Drew, friend of the show, and just swung on in to say hi.
49:02🔗KennedyI knew Adam when he'd only been fondled by a very famous old man.
49:14🔗AdamB slash C celebrity that I am today. Ace Rockolla. Let me tell you something, Kennedy. Kennedy was always very nice and very generous to me, and I'll never forget that.
49:27🔗AdamVery smart. She kissed up early. Let that be a lesson to you all. Jonathan? Jonathan, you're 20.
49:35🔗CallerOh, yeah. I want to ask both of you guys a question, actually. You guys are running a great show, by the way. You guys are doing a lot of help for some kids out here.
49:44🔗CallerKids are messed up. I just want to know, every time I smoke weed, I get the shakes. It's almost like I'm feeling like I have Parkinson's disease or something. I was going to ask Drew if...
50:10🔗CallerI definitely think it should be legalized. I don't condone its use like all the time, but I think it should be legalized, too.
50:14🔗KennedyI think it's irresponsible to link drug use for the underage people to the benefits of medical marijuana, because I think it does have some amazing benefits.
51:23🔗AdamGod, are you a retard? Let's do a little Loveline recreation here. Let's replace pot with rocky road ice cream for the sake of argument here. Let me illustrate a point. That sounds good, rocky road. There we go. We got fudge on that and Jimmy sprinkles. There's a good argument for not smoking the weed right there. What I was trying to say is, let's say you called up and you said, each time you ate rocky road ice cream, you got the shakes, you had a seizure, you had tremors. I think the easy answer would be, why don't you stay away from that particular brand of ice cream or maybe ice cream in general? Seems like a layup, right? I would say the same with pot. Listen, you move on to booze or whatever else. And plus tremors with weed is no good because you'll spill that bong all over the carpet. You'll never get your cleaning deposit back. And let me tell you guys a little something real quick.
52:15🔗KennedyWhy can't we move on to self-mutilation?
52:23🔗KennedyI just picture a butterfly shrimp. And a man's genitalia is not meant to look like a platter of skippers.
52:30🔗AdamI picture the kielbasa sandwich where they take the kielbasa and split it down the middle and open it up and put it on a Kaiser roll.
52:37🔗DrewYou get an interesting sort of imagery. You guys both use food.
52:40🔗AdamYeah. She's shrippin. We got a little surf and turf going over here on the filet Johnson. Who would filet their penis? I understand. Now, when I was in high school, I cleaned and gutted my penis once, but I never went as far as fileting it. I had a buddy actually can his penis. He had to gaff it on board. It was great. Oh, my god. Listen, listen. When can we just admit that certain things aren't hobbies? They're neuroses. You know what I mean?
53:11🔗AdamHey, you're doing it because you're effed up, not because you're expressing yourself. Let's not get behind these people. Same with the sex changes, same with putting beads in the Johnson, same with the whole thing. All right. Where the hell were we? Oh, here's what I'm going to say about the Hemp Movement. The Hemp Movement is great and everything, but I have a quick question for all you people that are really into the Hemp Movement. I got a gift pack sent to me from the Hemp Shampoo and Hair Company. They make creams and conditioners and shampoos. I mean like a $99 thing. First off, that stuff is ridiculously expensive. It's like $34 bucks for a thing of shampoo. By the way, $34, in my budget, that's 10 years of shampoo for me because I buy the $0.69 Suave stuff. One 12 ounce lasts me a year. I rarely bathe. Here's my point. I read the ingredients and it had aluminum sulfur chloride was 80 ingredients up higher than the hemp seed oil. The hemp seed oil is at the very bottom. The big pot leaf is on the front, but the hemp seed oil, zero. It's not even in there, can't even be measured. I mean, it's literally ingredient number 147 on it. So who are you stoners kidding? Give me a break. You could remove the hemp seed oil from that shampoo, and I guarantee the guy, the chemist who manufactures it wouldn't know it if he used it. Absolutely. And if anyone's got a problem with that, and if the people who make it got a problem with that, don't make me bring that shampoo bottle in here and read it on the air, because I'll get to about 35 chemicals you can't pronounce before I get to the hemp seed oil. So I'm for pot legalization too, but come on. Jeff?
55:30🔗AdamWhere the tip of your penis meets the shaft? Yes. Yeah. Now, where the tip of your penis meets the shaft means you have to bend your penis around and touch it somewhere in the middle, right?
55:40🔗No. Okay. Excuse me. I mean, where the head meets the shaft. Okay. All right. And this is what happened, like, about a year and a half ago, it got caught in a zipper. And I thought that it was going to-
56:16🔗Because I was like zipping up my pants and it just like fell out and got caught. But anyway-
56:23🔗AdamI'll tell you, do you do a lot like a spoken word type performance because you paint such a graphic and interesting picture there? So it did come out of your underwear. Yeah.
56:34🔗AdamHold on. Quick Loveline reenactment here. You're wearing boxers? Yeah. So it was hanging out of your underpants, it got stuck in your zipper. No, no, no, no. It was really funny. Here's how it went. I was zipping my pants up and it fell out. It got stuck in there. Oh, I see. Totally different than what I described earlier.
56:52🔗DrewIt didn't fall out of your underwear, it fell out.
56:54🔗AdamNo, it shot out of your ass, circled around and actually was heading back in when it got caught in the zippers. Is that what happened? All right, buddy. So now you got the scab.
57:05🔗Yeah. Okay. Now, when it happened, it scabbed over and I thought it was going to heal up correctly.
57:22🔗I would say it's like a centimeter. It's not like huge, but it just won't go away. Hold on.
57:30🔗AdamLet me talk to Kenny. Kenny, don't ask or call us any questions. You understand? We reset the clock each and every time you ask them a question. We just added 45 minutes to that call.
57:40🔗DrewYou'll learn that they don't actually answer the question.
57:42🔗AdamDon't answer. Just listen and nod. All right. So now, how do we get rid of this scab?
58:03🔗DrewIt doesn't sound like that. It sounds more like some sort of persistent dermatitis. You need to talk to your doctor about getting some creams for that.
58:13🔗DrewNo, I bet you some steroid creams will take care of it. Again, it's important when wounds don't heal, there's actually ulcers that don't heal or even associated with cancers and things. It's important to get it looked at.
58:52🔗DrewNo, when we were laying there trying to sleep.
58:55🔗AdamOh, well, probably once or twice, but the problem is I'd already had had myself a couple of times during the day. So, I mean, there was the obligatory get home from work one.
59:08🔗KennedyHow many times a day do you masturbate?
59:10🔗AdamI'll tell you, I'm normally, normally you can put me down for one, but last night, got the hat trick.
1:01:09🔗AdamYeah. Yeah. Your husband, Dave, he says he's home listening to the show. Yeah. No, no, no. Feel the VCR when you come home. See if it's warm. I guarantee it's warm.
1:01:19🔗KennedyYeah. My husband's sitting at home masturbating to a ball draining cum videos.
1:01:25🔗AdamNo, he may have you on the radio. I'm not saying the sound is up.
1:02:06🔗AdamAll right. Let's... We'll do it during the next commercial. We've got five minutes, all right? All right. My grandmom's going to be a ton of crap when I see her next...
1:02:30🔗AdamMy grandmother asked me if I knew what a rim job was. Don't worry about her being Catholic. Listen, I'll tell you, I tell you, my greatest grandmother, I said, come on, you know, an ale-boater. My grandmother, when my grandfather passed away a few years ago, this is her greatest, this is my grandmother, her best, she goes, I said, you know, she was really depressed. They've been married for 50 years. You know, this is a month after he died. I said, how are you holding up grandma? She said, it's hard. Everything, we've lived in this house for 50 years. Everything around here reminds me of him. I see the, I open the closet. I see his overcoat reminds me of him. I open a file folder. I see some of his love letters to me reminds me of him. Open the medicine cabinet. I see the vaginal lubricant. It's like, thanks for that grandma. There'll be no hat trick tonight.
1:03:21🔗KennedyYeah. Put grandma on your little thought bubble.
1:03:31🔗AdamI ask you, what kind of grandma talks about vaginal lubricant and as answers related to the deceased grandfather? Oh my god. Oh no. This is going to be another conversation. I swear to Christ. Grandma, if you're listening right now, don't call me tomorrow. I don't want to talk about this. You can call me. We can talk about other stuff, but not this, okay? All right. Line one, line one, line one. Logan? Yeah, what's going on? Oh, she listens to the show. Tell Drew it's pronounced Labia, not Labia, or no, no, no.
1:04:29🔗CallerSorry. Yeah. And I thought I knew her. Yeah. I mean, I've only known her for three weeks, but I started going out with her like last week. And she told me at the football game...
1:05:08🔗CallerActually, like, she would be lying in bed, and her dad would think she was asleep, so he'd come over and touch her and say things to her.
1:05:22🔗AdamOkay. Because he's 15 and he's spazzy.
1:05:26🔗KennedyHow many Logans and Chantels can there be?
1:05:29🔗AdamWell, Logan ain't his real name. It's just Chantel's real name. That's the irony of it.
1:05:32🔗CallerNo, that's the sad thing. That's my real name.
1:05:35🔗AdamAll right, Logan. Lovely name. All right, listen, Logan. Yeah. She's going to be a handful. If you've listened to this show, you know she's going to be a handful. Oh, yeah.
1:05:45🔗CallerWell, that's not even the end of it. She just told me that she wanted to have a threesome. Of course. With me.
1:05:57🔗AdamLogan, here's the thing. It may sound like a victory or it may sound like a good time, but you're basically taking someone who's screwed up and screwing them up more.
1:06:15🔗AdamWell, let her be 15 too. Hey, give her love, give her support. See if it works. I don't think it will, but you can try. Yeah. Imagine being a 15-year-old having to cope with this. You know what I mean?
1:06:27🔗KennedyDid you tell Drew about the call the other night where the girl was molested by her brother for so many years, and her boyfriend told her to confront her brother so she finally did, and he shot himself in front of her?
1:06:39🔗AdamNo, I didn't. Drew, let me tell you about this call. This girl was being molested?
1:06:43🔗AdamYeah, I forgot. I said, you must have been listening, I guess, Kenny. Thanks. I was saying, I got to tell Drew this when he comes in naturally. I didn't, but did you hear that?
1:06:54🔗DrewI just did. What happened to Bruce Hanlon?
1:06:56🔗AdamSo he just went and got a soda. He couldn't handle it. What happened though is the girl's freaked out because she doesn't want to tell her parents.
1:07:06🔗AdamYeah. So basically what the parents think is she walked into his bedroom while he was cleaning his gun and basically he killed himself just sort of timing, serendipity, when she walked in he killed himself. She can't tell the parents it's because he molested her. Now she's totally freaked out because she feels responsible for suicide and I guess she's angry at him obviously for molesting.
1:08:41🔗AdamIt's a penthouse model. Yeah. I nailed her good from across the board with my pants on. And what's that, Jesse? No. Okay, yes. Let's say yes.
1:09:32🔗AdamThey have like a senior's division and stuff like that and golf and track and that kind of stuff. What I'm saying is I'm 36 years old. If I was 18, I'd put a real whooping on yours. You know what I mean?
1:10:01🔗KennedyI mean, you need to get some potassium back in your system.
1:10:06🔗AdamI tried going on number 19, I turned inside out. My body shot through my urethra and I actually was inside out. My penis was then facing in and I had to close my mouth, hold my nose to pop my penis back out.
1:10:22🔗CallerHow can I stop? I just can't seem to leave it alone.
1:10:24🔗AdamAll right. Hold on. We got to call Kennedy's husband Dave and find out where he hides the porn. Can he say he has no porn around the house?
1:10:33🔗KennedyHe does such a good Adam impression.
1:11:00🔗This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.
1:11:26🔗AdamIt's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Our old friend Kennedy is in the studio tonight. Kennedy and Dr. Drew are gonna be doing a pilot soon.
1:11:41🔗DrewAs sort of oblique as it was, I've never heard him give quite such a resounding endorsement.
1:11:55🔗AdamBut when you do a project like this, it's important to have a false sense of confidence going in, otherwise it could really hurt the product.
1:12:12🔗KennedyAdam, what were we thinking not making you the third go host?
1:12:16🔗AdamYeah. I got a project with UPN right now where I call it, SYNC Cam. We just have a camera that said we place the drain on the sink with a camera. I just put it. They just watch me. Watch me get brushed my teeth in the morning.
1:12:51🔗AdamWhy not? She's a friend of yours. All right. Listen, we were talking. Kennedy's recently married. Her husband, Dave, is a professional snowboarder, broke his back a couple of times. But he's none the worse for wear, right? Great guy. I was speculating that Dave had a little pornography stash around the house. I was guessing in the board bag. But we have Dave on the line now. Dave?
1:13:42🔗AdamYeah, but I'm not talking about that. By the way, I don't consider that porn. Yeah, I mean- Now, it's a coaster. Yeah. That's what the Playboy is. Now, do you have anything floating around the house?
1:13:56🔗KennedyWe have that one video that Jamie accidentally brought over. He thought he was showing us a golf video and it was in the golf case, but Jamie's friend put in a Playboy, we're going to show you our boobs video.
1:14:44🔗KennedyWe were all in Austria. It was Dave and I and two other snowboarders, and we went into a shop, and I was the one sitting there looking at the filthy German bratwurst mags.
1:15:22🔗AdamFirst off, your wife is here. She's not at home. This is a good...
1:15:27🔗DrewAnd he knows where she is during the radio broadcast.
1:15:29🔗AdamYeah. Oh my God, what you could do with that pornography. It scares me. Okay, here's the point. You need it for nights like tonight. Kennedy's here. You're back there with the dog. The dog's out of action, if you know what I'm saying. Just neutered, right?
1:16:05🔗KennedyYeah, we have this message on our machine saved for so long. And whenever we were down, we would listen to this. Hey, Kennedy. It's Adam. Hear that? Big fart. Right in the phone. Missing you. Loving you. Call me.
1:16:25🔗CallerIt's the most amazing message we've ever heard.
1:16:27🔗KennedyYeah, we saved that for a few months.
1:16:30🔗AdamI am so proud. I am Tickled Pink. That is excellent. Big fart.
1:16:35🔗KennedyYeah, you said it. And it was so loud and long, too. It was like, hey, Kennedy, it's Adam. Big fart. As if we didn't know what it was.
1:16:47🔗AdamWell, hey, I farted on the phone today with my buddy, Louise, and he thought it was static. So it's a good thing I said fart. Now, isn't it?
1:17:34🔗KennedyThere's no weenus. It's always flaccid. The women are gross. It's unbelievable. Right. It's completely unsatisfying. We've talked about this before.
1:17:44🔗AdamRight. I just got back from Canada and they show you the full thing over there. Great.
1:17:49🔗KennedyAlthough at the Hotel Nico, they had this one pornographic video that was just filthy.
1:18:57🔗DrewYou have to get treatment for your sexual addiction, sexual compulsion. This is the result. This is what happens. The trajectory that people get sent down when they're sexually abused or sexualized as young children.
1:19:15🔗DrewI just call local AA. Those are usually easier to get a hold of. But when people are sexualized as a young child, it sort of wires in some brain chemistry that wasn't meant to be activated yet. And it sets you off on a trajectory that causes compulsion and addiction.
1:19:29🔗AdamYeah. So in LA, the problem is you call the AA meeting and you go, hey, SA, and they go, hey, cabacho. That's a little Spanish joke there. Jason?
1:19:44🔗CallerYeah. Well, I think that I'm starting to have a problem with drinking. And I was wondering if when your sex drive is lower, then maybe that's a sign that you're-
1:19:53🔗DrewYes, that's maybe a sign. He made up that question.
1:19:55🔗AdamOh, he did. What's he care? All right, Casey?
1:20:13🔗AdamJust let me make a quick disclaimer. We didn't build a fort in your living room. You understand? We'll just talk like adults here for a second. She's nuts. Listen, hold on.
1:20:25🔗AdamGive me the flashlight. Hey, Pat. Hey, don't poke out the Oreos. All right. Yeah. Girlfriend's nuts.
1:20:32🔗CallerOkay. We broke up 10 times in two years and every time we break up, she runs to my friends, starts crying, and wants me back hella bad. I don't know why.
1:21:13🔗CallerBut the main part of the story is she got back this summer and we had plans to get back together at the beginning of the school year. She told me all this stuff that she did with these guys. She gave guys blow jobs and hand jobs and she got fingered at the dinner table.
1:21:30🔗AdamWell, first off, you don't know what the custom of the house that she was eating at.
1:21:35🔗CallerWell, it was a camp, like a summer camp.
1:21:38🔗KennedyWell, that's part of the rules at some camps. Mabel, Mabel Strong and Abel, get your elbows off the table.
1:21:49🔗KennedyYou got to put a finger in the dike for the Lord.
1:21:52🔗AdamShow of hands, we're going to make lanyards or finger bang? We'll go with the finger bang.
1:21:57🔗CallerOkay. But the second day of school, for some reason, I just didn't want to touch her or look at her or talk to her, so we broke up. Then she calls me up yesterday and just starts crying to me on the phone, how bad she wants me back.
1:22:13🔗AdamYeah. Okay. You're very desirable. Listen, Casey.
1:22:55🔗AdamYeah, it's like if someone was high on heroin and they'd quit once earlier, but they're back on heroin and I said quit heroin, you wouldn't say, I did. I'm just doing it now. Now I'm talking about this time. Break up and stay broken up. She's given the hand jobs and the finger banging at Christian camp.
1:23:12🔗KennedyChristian camp. What is she going to do at S&M camp?
1:23:15🔗AdamThat would not go on at Jewish camp. I'll tell you that right now. There'd be a lawsuit. Tom?
1:23:24🔗CallerYeah, me and my girlfriend, we've been together 10 years and lately, past couple months, whenever I try to get intimate with her, she backs off.
1:24:34🔗KennedyHow do you know? You've never been with anybody else. What if she's not the woman that you're meant to be with? What if you're just together because, just for the sake of being together for so long?
1:24:46🔗CallerI wouldn't look at anyone else again.
1:24:49🔗CallerNot the way I looked at her and the way I feel about her, no.
1:24:52🔗KennedyWell, you never look at the same two people in the same life.
1:24:54🔗AdamWhat about Leticia Costa? Who? That's my point exactly. Thank you.
1:25:00🔗KennedyThat was brilliant, Adam. I've never seen a maneuver like that in my life.
1:25:02🔗AdamThank you. Here's what I'm saying, Tom. You look at her as a sort of end all and be all, but the reality is that she's been a crutch for you over the last X amount of years. Your development has been put on hold because you've been in a relationship since you were 11 goddamn years old. I can't even fathom that. And even 10 years later, you're scared if she leaves, she's going to take your life with her. Well, the reality is she's pulling out of this thing. And the reality is that's probably the best thing that's ever happened to you. It's going to be the worst thing that ever happened to you for about six months. But if you get your crap together, it'll be the best thing that ever happened to you. You see what I'm saying?
1:25:40🔗DrewYou can't be in a relationship where you're not a whole person.
1:25:42🔗AdamUnderstand, if she pulls out, you're going to have the world's worst six months. But if you play it smart and you work hard, the rest of your life will be great. Or you can keep on with this, I'll never look at anyone the same nonsense, and you're screwed for the rest of your life.
1:26:40🔗AdamYeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Forget about the phone number. Kennedy is our guest tonight, our good friend Kennedy. She is out here doing a pilot with Dr. Drew.
1:27:10🔗DrewBilly Ray Cyrus, who I was on with him once, and there was a woman, a commentator, sitting next to him. All of a sudden, people were getting lost in a big discussion. He was quiet, and all of a sudden, he leans over and goes, Honey, you're just so beautiful. Sitting there, you just look so great.
1:28:04🔗I've been kind of like seeing this guy for about a year now since like last August, but I'm not sure if I should stay with him or not, because when we got together, like he had a girlfriend, but I knew and everything. But I don't know if I should keep seeing him, because he like sees other girls and stuff.
1:28:55🔗KennedyWell, then that's not love. Move on. If you're going to put your heart out for somebody like that, why don't you at least do yourself a favor and expect something in return? This guy's never going to give you anything.
1:29:07🔗AdamAll right. I got two questions for you, Darla. You give me A or B, all right?
1:30:21🔗AdamHere's the deal, baby. Look at yourself as a little bit of a fork in the road here. One way is a very bad life. It's a whole life of being on the guy's stumps and being stepped on and sucking. Okay. The other way is an empowering lesbian road. You understand? The other one says, I'm going to stand up for what's right. I'm going to do what's best for me. Now, here's the problem with this. You're at the fork now. Once you go down this one road for a while, that's just your life. You can't even get off it. You just become the doormat.
1:30:52🔗It sucks though, because even when I'm with other guys, I can't help it.
1:30:55🔗AdamIt doesn't matter. It's going to be better when you get away from this guy and you give yourself some strength. Get away from him.
1:31:01🔗DrewJust some time away. No contact. No contact.
1:32:41🔗AdamPassed away. He's only in the 50s. Here we go. All right. Let's hear it with Dr. Drew.
1:32:46🔗DrewPee on this stick. Makes me sick. Pee on this stick. Makes me sick. If I find you stealing my underwear again, here's what's going to happen.
1:32:58🔗DrewStuff like this. Stuff like this. Stuff like this.
1:33:01🔗AdamGot another 40 seconds here. Makes me sick.
1:33:02🔗DrewYou're fat. Asshole. You're fat. Can I say that? You're fat. You're overweight. I want to be dominated. You're gay. I want to be dominated. You're gay. When I was 19, I ate about four boiled peyote buttons and stayed up all night but felt no effect. It's called intimacy. Can I say that? This is not acceptable. Can I say that? You're fat. Not acceptable. Pee on this stick. Not acceptable. Boiled peyote button. Not acceptable. You're overweight. Not acceptable. Can I say that?
1:33:33🔗AdamHold on, Drew. Hold on. The mic's hot, buddy. Hey, hold on a second. Anderson, you wave to Drew when the mics heat up so we don't have any more of those embarrassing situations go out over the air. Okay, Anderson? You hear me?
1:33:48🔗AdamYou start doing your job. When we're coming back out of a song or drop or something, wave so Drew doesn't get caught in the middle of a sentence that way.
1:33:56🔗I'm trying to do my best here under really difficult circumstances.
1:34:59🔗AdamWell, as you, you know, I heard you were in town. I made a few phone calls, pulled a few strings, and we're able to get you in here just last second. Hey, I want to thank Drew for coming in tonight. It's a pleasure. You gonna be back tomorrow night?
1:35:28🔗This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.