3:22🔗
Voiceover
Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.
3:33🔗
Voiceover
Yeah, Coast to Coast, you hear that, everybody? It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew tonight. Dr. Bruce is board certified. He's also addiction medicine specialist. He also specializes in emergency medicine. He's a good guy to take camping except for the sex part. And he can take a tattoo off a con faster than you can say. Will Robinson, is that how that went? How's that cliche go? Okay, Bruce, forget it, forget it, forget it. Just forget it. Don't talk, no, don't talk. Just don't.
4:14🔗
Danger, danger.
4:18🔗
Adam
Listen, Bruce, you're an intelligent man who's done no drugs in his life. If I say to you like, how does that cliche go?
4:30🔗
Adam
Okay, all right, all right. Bruce, who we had to coax into the goddamn studio 10 seconds ago because he was playing grab ass in the hall.
4:37🔗
Adam
How dare you. Bill Bellamy is allegedly our guest tonight. He is not here yet, although he's still not late by Loveline standards because we don't count our guests as late until the full 10 minutes after the show has begun. Let me tell you guys something, kids. Every show I do, I am forced to get to at least an hour before it starts. Not Loveline. Our guests usually, let's say on an average, show up four minutes before the show begins, on an average. But two out of four or five will get here after the show begins. Almost, I mean, you could set your watch by it. You really could. I find that bizarre. I'm not exactly sure if other national radio shows work that way, but I certainly know ours does. And if Bill is anything like any of our other guests, he will stroll in here in the next 45 seconds. But I'm always amazed that our guests get here at like 10 in 30 seconds, which I find strange. I don't understand what their publicists are doing or what their managers are doing. I don't blame them because I wouldn't show up any earlier than I had to either.
5:48🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
They're saying if we can avoid five more minutes of anal sex conversation on the radio, they're five minutes late.
5:54🔗
Adam
I think it, I don't know. I think I blame our camp for that. Shouldn't it be us that gets them here at a certain time or do we just tell all the guests to get here at 9.45 and they show up at 10.10? Interesting. Anyway, thank God I don't care about this show or I'd be upset.
6:13🔗
Adam
Obie? Here? Okay. Bruce, you know what? You have no idea how thin the ice is that you're skating on, brother.
6:25🔗
Hey.
6:28🔗
Caller
Well, first of all, I just wanted to say that I think you, Andrew, do a lot of good stuff for a lot of people. And I just wanted to congratulate you on that.
6:45🔗
Caller
Okay, my question was, I recently went out with my best friend. And we broke up because she wasn't willing to tell anyone we were going out. And I called on Thursday to ask about that. But then on Friday, I found out, well, her sister told me, her sister's also a really good friend of mine, and she told me that she had only gone out with me based on a vent. And I'm not really sure who to believe.
7:17🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Oh, yes, they were. You're perfectly normal. At age 14, relationships usually last about that long. People are afraid to tell their friends. Look, what do you see when you watch a bunch of 14?
7:28🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Into him at 14? He was delusional. She was into him for the perfect amount of time a month. Obie, that's really normal. And at 14, girls like to hang together, do things in groups. They're a little bit afraid to get out and tell people they have a boyfriend. That's very normal.
7:42🔗
Adam
Obie, she's not into you. That's all right. There'll be others who are. They'll be fat, but there'll be others.
7:48🔗
Caller
Yeah. I just wanted to know if I should just confront her about the fact that her sister told me that she only went out with me based on a bet.
7:55🔗
Adam
Forget her and move on. Okay. I'll tell you, that's one thing I've learned over the years. You don't have to right every dating wrong. Just move on. They don't want to be with you? Fine. Move on.
8:06🔗
Adam
Hey, you never feel any better. I've done it a few times in my life where I've decided to confront the person, tell them off, straighten them out. Never works. Always walk away feeling worse. Bill Bellamy has just entered the studio. Good to see you, Bill.
8:31🔗
Adam
You'll make up for it tonight. Bill, I apologize for Dr. Drew's absence. I know it's a little disappointing to see Dr. Bruce sitting in his chair.
8:42🔗
Adam
Drew is in actually in Washington, DC., allegedly addressing Congress, although I'm sure we'll get the full story on that when he gets back because I know he addressed him in the cafeteria or in the bathroom. He was not on the congressional floor.
8:57🔗
Adam
But we'll get to that. Bruce will be here and he'll suffice until Drew gets back, although I hope he hurries, and we'll begin the interview. So Bill. Yes, sir. Well, let's talk about a couple of things that you're doing, and then we'll get to some other stuff. First off, San Francisco Punchline, Thursday the 14th, that would be through Saturday the 16th. I was just at the San Francisco Punchline like three weeks ago.
9:28🔗
Caller
I'm on the road right now. I've been doing my comedy thing and I'm warming myself up. I was in DC about a week ago, did my thing in DC, sold out all the shows, had a fabulous time in DC. And I'm performing at the House of Blues next Tuesday. And I haven't performed in LA in a while. So, you know, and I'm taping a special, so I want all the people who are listening to come out, if you want to laugh, I'm giving you a straight hour and a half of funny, of the funniest, Bill Bellamy's greatest hits.
10:15🔗
Adam
She can't get out of the house. So that'll be the House of Blues again on Tuesday, the 19th. And what time should people show up?
10:23🔗
Caller
I think they should get there around 8 o'clock. I think they should get there and have a few drinks.
10:31🔗
Caller
No, industry people don't seem to have as much fun as real people. Industry people are very stiff.
10:38🔗
Adam
They have as much fun as an appraiser has in an auction. They don't raise their hand. They don't shout anything out. They just stand there and scratch.
10:48🔗
Adam
Yeah. They're thinking, Bill is hysterical. I must make a note of this Monday when I get to the office. But they never make a sound. And so that's why you don't want them there.
11:02🔗
Caller
Yeah. Actually, I've been in the stand-up game from the very beginning. And a lot of people don't know that I'm a stand-up comedian. They just think I'm funny. Oh, that boy is crazy. I watch him on MTV.
11:12🔗
His skin cracked.
11:16🔗
Adam
Yeah, I wouldn't tell people I was a stand-up because it was like, hey, Bill Bellamy's a real funny cat. He's done stand-up for 15 years. He's not that funny. So you shouldn't tell anybody.
11:25🔗
Caller
No. But it's cool because a lot of the fans that I have who already know they come out to see my shows and we laugh and have a really good time. And then sometimes I find out that a lot of people were just like, they know my name from different things. They go, I wanted to see if you were really funny and stuff like that.
11:41🔗
Adam
Well, you do kind of run the gamut. I mean, lots of features, of course MTV, a lot of hosting duties, television stand-up. That's pretty versatile.
11:52🔗
Caller
I have had definitely a fun career so far. MTV came as like a blessing. I was doing stand-up in New York in a club. And a lady who was the head of talent at the time was looking for a new host for a show called MTV Jams. And you know, young guy in a club making people laugh. She was like, well, I would like you to audition. I thought she was playing around. She was serious, gave me the MTV card and everything. And I got an audition and got the job. Now, they like learn how to be a VJ, how to be a VJ back then. They were just going around talent scouting, like, you know.
12:27🔗
Caller
Yeah. Now you can send in the tape or you can like, you know, stand outside of Times Square and become a VJ like that.
12:33🔗
Adam
So also we'll get into some of the features in this Music Mania 2000, which is coming up on Fox.
12:40🔗
Caller
Yeah. Yeah. That was real cool. Actually, if you're, if you're like eight years old, from eight to like 16 and a half, right. And you can really, really scream. Summer Mania 2000 is for you.
12:52🔗
Adam
Yeah. Now our, our listeners are a little bit older than eight, but they're really stoned. So they, they can enjoy the Backstreet Boys or N-Sync. Who was on that? Britney Spears?
13:30🔗
Caller
Yeah. But it's, it's pretty much a pop market right now. And I don't know the difference between Mandy Moore and Jessica Simpson. They both look alike.
13:51🔗
Hey.
13:56🔗
Caller
Adam, I want to first of all say I love the man show. Let's get that on a cable channel.
14:06🔗
Caller
I think I'm going to fit into this conversation. When I was in college, I developed panic disorder. I've had it ever since. It's been about five years, since I was 20. Through benzodiazepines, other medications, I've been able to keep it under control. I've also done some of the behavioral cognitive retraining type of false alarm test or procedures.
14:36🔗
Caller
What they have you do is make you breathe through a straw, so you actually think you're suffocating, but you're really not. You bring on a panic attack and you face it head on. That's helped a lot. They also make you run in place, spin around in circles. It's funny when you first start doing it, but it really did have its-
14:54🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Have you been on a serotonin reuptake inhibitor? Any kind of united person?
15:01🔗
Caller
Well, you just get an immediate, intense feeling of fear. For me, my hearing gets really sensitive.
15:08🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So you have discrete panic attacks, not generalized anxiety disorder?
15:15🔗
Caller
Basically, well, I've got this panic disorder semi under control, but the whole thing that I have a comorbidity with is, I smoke marijuana every day.
15:29🔗
Adam
There's a lot of people that have panic attacks just from smoking weed. I mean, you know, like Republicans, when they smoke weed, they freak out.
15:39🔗
Adam
I mean, like, Bruce, you smoke weed, you freak out, right? When straight guys smoke weed, they get weird.
15:45🔗
I was such a pussy.
15:51🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something. You got to start drinking because nobody ever had a panic attack when they were loaded.
15:56🔗
You know what I mean?
15:59🔗
Adam
So coming down, but I mean, when you're high, let's put it this way, you're driving a car and you're high, you're going 35 miles an hour, you're on the freeway, the blinker is on, you're doing hand signals that haven't been invented yet, you freak out, your eyes, some guy pulls up to you with a ski rack, you think it's the cops, you know? I mean, you're both hands on the wheel, grabbing it hard. Now when you're driving drunk, you got your foot hanging out, you're going 80 miles an hour over the speed limit.
16:26🔗
Adam
You think you see a cop behind you, you'll bring it on. Yeah, you get a little rowdy. That's what I'm saying. I mean, if Joe put down the bong and picked up a bottle, it might straighten his panic attack out a little.
16:42🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, did your doctors know that you were doing the pot while you... Did the doctors know you were smoking pot all this time they've been treating you?
16:49🔗
And it was...
16:53🔗
I was...
16:54🔗
Caller
No, no, and I would explain that in small amounts, it was therapeutic, but in larger amounts, it would send me...
17:00🔗
Yeah.
17:05🔗
Caller
And, you know, and so I'm thinking my question is, in order to fully attack the panic disorder thing, do I have to attack the marijuana thing for the panic disorder?
17:16🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Okay. Probably what's going on is the marijuana is making the panic attacks worse, making it more difficult for you to deal with them and making the therapy less effective. Marijuana is a hallucinogen class, and it's like LSD. It's a mindset and setting drug. Your mindset when you use it, and the setting you're in will dictate to a large extent.
17:43🔗
Adam
If something's bad is going on in my life, you can drink, but you can't smoke weed. You'll freak out. Let me give you an example. Your girlfriend breaks up with you, she leaves you, she takes off with some other guy.
17:54🔗
Adam
You get stoned, you're going to just picture her having sex with this new guy the entire time.
18:06🔗
Adam
You got to smoke pot when things are good. Like, I basically, ever since I got a couple TV shows, I stopped smoking pot because I'll freak out. And I certainly am not going to do mushrooms. If I did mushrooms and thought about being on TV, my head would explode. I would go insane. Like, you'd sit around and you'd go, you get high on mushrooms and go, I got to go do the House of Blues tomorrow night. And just start freaking out. I can't do it. I can't do it. I don't want it. I'm going to wet my pants when I get out there.
18:37🔗
Adam
But you can get drunk. You can get drunk and you'll go, I'll do it right now. Bring it on. Let's do it.
18:53🔗
Adam
Bruce, you couldn't make a point if I held a gun to your head. Now, that's it. This is the number one call. I'm not spending 20 minutes of call with you tonight. Do it.
19:03🔗
OK.
19:05🔗
Right.
19:14🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Joe, the important point is when you stop smoking pot, another psychiatric disorder could arise like depression or some other disorder of that sort. So it's important to stop. Continue seeing your psychiatrist. You're probably self-medicating for something else also.
19:35🔗
Adam
All right. All right. Thank you very much. Bruce, that was very concise. I want you to approach each call with that 25-second roll.
19:51🔗
Caller
The basic gist of my question is I'm wondering why I'm attracted to older guys, and I have no interest in guys my age.
20:01🔗
Caller
They have jobs and money, and they have security. They can take you places. Most guys at 17 don't have any dough.
20:22🔗
Adam
You're just truly attracted to older guys? Yeah. Yeah. You're like every chick who was in my high school when I was in the 11th grade.
20:29🔗
Caller
You can't go out with anybody in 11th grade when you're in 11th grade. You got to go out with somebody who has a W2, he has a 401k flash.
20:43🔗
Adam
Listen, the only thing I could do when I was in 11th grade is go and start dating seventh graders. Thank God the junior high was nearby.
20:49🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
From masturbation, I thought that was- I forgot about that. Lauren, here's the important point. At 17, you should be doing stuff that 17-year-olds do, taking your time, and even the guys, they're not going to figure out how to get you to have sex with them for a lot longer. 27-year-old is going to get right for the bedroom, okay? So you're cheating yourself. You may feel that you're attracted to these guys, but there's no law of teenagers that says that just because you feel like doing something or you're attracted to them, that you should go ahead and pursue it. And you're old enough to understand there are consequences for behaviors and maintenance.
21:36🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
And a 27-year-old guy that wants to go out with a 17-year-old girl.
21:44🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
What's wrong with this guy that a 27-year-old wants to go out with a 16-year-old girl?
22:14🔗
Adam
Oh, forget it. Here's, you know, it's funny, whenever we get these calls where there's like some 15, six-year-old who's dating a 27, 28-year-old. Yeah. First question is, are you having sex with a guy? And sometimes they go, no, no. We've been dating for six months. We're not having sex. And then I think for a second, and I think the guy's screwier because now I'm thinking, okay, the guy's not that nice. The guy's 27. He ain't even in it for sex.
22:39🔗
Adam
Now he's 27. He's just dating a 15 or 16-year-old, and he ain't even try to get laid. Now I'm really starting to think there's something wrong with the guy.
22:56🔗
Yes.
23:00🔗
Caller
Okay. Let me give you a short little breakdown. I'm seeing this guy who's maybe like he's 30. I'm 22. He has a very stressful job. I kind of have like the Lauren syndrome, older guy.
23:15🔗
Caller
And every time we have like sexual time together, I guess I really please him because it's just very short and he's very dramatic and vocal and at first I was like, okay, this is kind of cool and flattering, but now I'm like, wait a minute, this sucks.
23:30🔗
Caller
When you say vocal, how much time is he giving you? Is it like 30, 40 seconds, maybe like three minutes the most? What's up?
23:40🔗
Caller
I start doing my thing and then next thing you know, he'll just be like, oh my god, oh my god.
23:49🔗
Adam
Right. Yeah, but let me explain something. I don't want to burst your bubble, Gwen, but it's not that you're that exciting.
23:56🔗
Adam
This guy could rape a beanbag chair and get off in 45 seconds. Guys who come fast come fast. It don't matter whether they're with Christie Brinkley or they're with their grandmother's corpse. It's still 45 seconds. Maybe a little faster with the corpse. Guys who go quick go quick.
24:16🔗
Caller
But I think if you're really attracted to a girl, you know, like sometime when you're really attracted to the girl, you know, the anticipation and the anxieties going through the roof, you might, you know, make...
24:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, I mean, there's a point there. I mean, if he's not attracted to you and you turn him off, there's going to be problems. But then he wouldn't be in the bedroom in the first place. Anyone he goes in the bedroom with, he's going to have this quick problem with.
24:39🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
And the anxiety is a problem, just like it is when someone has a problem with an erection. He's anxious about this, I guarantee you, and he's aware of it. Have you talked to him about it? Have you guys talked about it?
24:48🔗
Caller
I tried giving, like, subtle hints, like, okay, let's try to, you know, try to pause in between doing stuff.
24:59🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, well, there are lots of things, like masturbation before he has sex with you, using a condom.
25:06🔗
Caller
Is there a lot of foreplay, though? A lot of foreplay could really make it like, oh, oh, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
25:35🔗
Yeah.
25:46🔗
Adam
Yeah, I could give you one. Bill could, too. If Bill... I'd get you started and Bill come in and finish you off.
25:57🔗
Caller
So, now I have a question. Should I start living, leaving like books around my apartment for him to maybe like...
26:08🔗
Adam
No, listen, Gwen, Gwen, you have to have... You're being intimate with him, right? You can have a conversation with him. He knows this is a problem. This isn't the first time this has happened to him. He doesn't want to talk about it because he's uncomfortable. But you talk to him about it. And don't talk to him about it when he has an erection. He's probably going to explode. Just talk to him about it when you're eating dinner or something and see if he can listen to Dr. Bruce over here. If he masturbates maybe a half hour before hand, an hour before hand, maybe takes a little starch out of his sheet. You know what I'm saying?
26:44🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
How long have you been together? How long have you been having sex?
26:52🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
You've met him two months ago, you started dating, started having sex two months ago.
26:55🔗
Caller
We started dating and gradually into having sex. So we had sex like maybe like a week after seeing.
27:19🔗
Adam
Right. Or finish her off no different than pulling the chair out when you go out to eat. Yeah.
27:25🔗
Adam
You got to. And if you know you're going to come in one minute, get down there and give her her orgasm and then you can pop up. It'll be over in a minute and she won't care. Gwen, this guy isn't great.
27:49🔗
Adam
Oh, shut up. For him, how much more comfortable can he get? The seaman is flying out of his penis as he walks into her bedroom.
28:05🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I'm telling you, as time goes on, as they discuss this and he's less anxious, this will work itself out.
28:14🔗
Adam
Bruce doesn't want anyone to have sex until year number five. And I'm telling you that you having an orgasm in one minute has nothing to do with you guys getting it on a week after you met. If you got it on six months after you met, he'd still have the orgasm in one minute.
28:29🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
We'll see how many times you hold your side in pain tonight when you ask how many kids they have if they wait a couple days longer to have sex.
28:36🔗
Adam
All the metal workers. Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew, Bill Bellamy filling in for Bill Bellamy tonight. And doing an adequate job. Not great.
28:45🔗
Thank you very much.
28:46🔗
Adam
I've seen Bill do Bill better. Bill is going to be at the House of Blues coming up and also at the Punchline in San Francisco. We'll get more into that, more into him, more into you, more into us all after this. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there.
29:38🔗
Adam
Dr. Bruce filling in for Dr. Drew. Bill Bellamy is our guest tonight. He'll be at the House of Blues coming up on Tuesday the 19th. Before that, he'll be in San Francisco at the Fabulous Punchline on Thursday the 14th, which is a very nice club. Very nice. It's kind of like an office park or something.
30:06🔗
Adam
Good audience over there. All right, Bruce, what do you say there, buddy? You ready to roll? Oh, yeah. All right.
30:14🔗
Yeah.
30:28🔗
Caller
I'm an IV user. I was supposed to get married on the 24th of June, and my fiancee caught me in the bathroom.
31:13🔗
Yes.
31:16🔗
Adam
I see. First off, maybe I'll just hold off on the marriage until you get this under control.
31:22🔗
Oh, yeah.
31:49🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah. I mean, heroin is such a difficult drug to get off of and many people, you'll hear them say, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just stop. And there is a tremendous depression that goes along with it. And the recovery rate is notoriously low unless you have a lot of structure. And really, long-term treatment is so important in this. And almost living somewhere where you have support structure and going to meetings, doing the 12-step thing. As far as methadone, something that replaces the opiate, which methadone is a long-acting synthetic opiate.
32:25🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Right. And that's the issue. They get on it. They get on it for years. It's very tough to get off of.
32:31🔗
Adam
Yeah. Then you're on something else. Dr. Drew is not a big fan of the methadone. I, however, would like to try some.
32:38🔗
Caller
And my mom kicked me out when I was 12. So I like hopped freight trains and hitchhiked all over the country.
33:02🔗
Adam
I was going to say, remember the part where you said the post-traumatic stress disorder was a death that you saw when you were younger?
33:24🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So, Kaylee, you're 22 and you have the desire to get clean and sober, and you've tried the 30-day hospital program and it didn't work.
33:33🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Right. But I mean, okay, since you have the desire to do it, there are programs out there that will work. But don't cheat yourself. You've had a past that most people probably wouldn't have survived. And you are a survivor. You're alive at this point. You've got a kid and you've got a relationship to look forward to. But you've got to be willing to go, I think, go into something structured in long term. And if you do that, the withdrawal will be easier. The detox will work. And you've got to get off it for that three to six months in a structured program. And these other issues are going to come back and you're going to need that kind of structure and support to deal with these things. Don't start trying to deal with all the stuff from your childhood in the first week, month, or several months of recovery. That's another mistake people make.
34:21🔗
Yeah.
34:24🔗
Yeah.
34:28🔗
She loves you.
34:37🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah. Hold on. We'll put you on hold, and during the break, I'll come out, and I'll give you a couple of numbers, okay?
34:51🔗
Adam
What if you went over there in five minutes and she committed suicide? Oh. How would you feel about yourself?
35:03🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Pick a call. You don't like thyroid calls? Okay. Here's the one that I've been waiting. This is what you like.
35:17🔗
Yeah, he's out there.
35:54🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Well, theoretically, you can, if you have the vesicles and they're draining fluid and you get it into someone's open skin, that virus can be transferred.
36:02🔗
Adam
So it's not that easily transferred, though. But if I gave him a hickey on his shingle-laden neck and I had an open sore in my mouth, I might get one.
36:10🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, if you somehow stretch your penis to the area where you have shingles and rub it there and then have sex. Let's hypothetically get it.
36:25🔗
Adam
I do the math. That's right. It's just a hopskib in a jump to my mouth at that point and that's the day I stop coming in to work. Hey, Mike, you're fine. If you can get laid with shingles, I don't know. She sees that growth on the side of your neck. That's not exactly...
36:40🔗
Adam
Shut up, Bruce. I was right in the middle of talking, you idiot. He steps on my punch lines every time. No, get in there, Bruce. Go ahead.
36:47🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
How many times do you... That's not something you get over and over. If you do, then maybe there's an immune problem. How often do you get it?
36:53🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
That's... Yeah. And it happens to young, healthy people. It's more common in older people. And if it occurs on both sides of your body or in multiple nerve layers, nerve levels, then that's worrisome. What you're having now is perfectly normal. People have that.
37:16🔗
All right.
37:20🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Don't rub the open vesicles on anybody. And if you're that way, maybe you should stay away.
37:36🔗
Adam
Wash your hands. Bill, as a black man, you're very lucky because you can get stuff on your skin and it's not a big deal.
37:52🔗
Adam
I got some new stuff. I've been experimenting with some stuff and I've knocked it down a little bit. But I'm the white dude with the neck rash because I have the black man's kinky hair. Right. And I have what a lot of the black man don't have, which is the beard that goes way down the neck. So I get it both ends. I get the beard that comes down to the Adam's apple and I got the kinky hair that equals neck rash. A lot of black guys get a neck rash, but don't really show up on them because they're black. I get a neck rash guy driving the other way on the freeway honks his horn because he sees it.
38:27🔗
Adam
That's what I'm saying. You can get shingles, maybe even herpes. I'm trying to think what else is it? Whatever you guys get, it doesn't look as bad as it looks on the white guys.
38:37🔗
Caller
Yeah, I think it depends on your complexion. Like if you're like, I'm like pretty much a light brown, you know, and you won't see it right away. But certain things, you know, if you're really pale, you're done.
38:52🔗
Adam
Yeah, you see like a red haired guy. It's a zit and it looks like one of those beacons on the top of a television transmitter. Bruce, right? You get a zit and your wife sees it before you come in the front door, right?
39:06🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
It doesn't matter now, but the trauma of teenage years, I could light up that. But I'm going to bring the hair removal laser and we'll do Adam on the air.
39:15🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
He wants me to get on his butt hairs, but I don't want to do that.
39:38🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
You guys will be working at McDonald's six months after you ask her.
39:51🔗
Yeah. I don't know how to go about it.
39:57🔗
Caller
Yeah. I don't want to freak her out and have her quit or anything. And then I don't want to be slapped with a sexual harassment lawsuit at the same time.
40:08🔗
She kids around, yeah.
40:13🔗
Adam
Listen, you know, Drew freaks out whenever we talk about dating at the workplace. And I don't know if Bruce is going to freak out. But I always say this. When you're single, your work is like school. It's like what school would be to you if you were in college or in high school. That's the place. You get up at 7 in the morning, you show up with the same people, that's what you do, and at 4 o'clock you go home. This is now your school.
40:39🔗
Adam
Shut up. There's no reason why you can't date someone when you're in college or you're in high school or it's in your biology class. But when you work with someone, for some reason, it's the world's worst idea to date them. I disagree. I think if you're single and you don't get out that much and you work a lot of hours, the only place you may meet somebody is at work.
41:03🔗
Adam
No. It's not. I'll tell you the difference between that. The teacher is of age and you're underage.
41:15🔗
Caller
A lot of people end up dating someone that's in their environment. I understand that. But when you work with them, it always jeopardizes personal and business every time. So you have to ask yourself, I mean, can you deal with the business? Now you can deal with her from a business level and it's pretty much clean. But once you get personal, if that happens, you got to deal with it. And then what if it goes bad? What do you do now?
41:40🔗
Adam
Right. And then here's what happens. You go, you guys are dating for six months and you go, Sherry, could you file these for me? And she goes, kiss my ass.
41:53🔗
Adam
All right. But listen, listen, can we all, can we live our lives based on some attorneys? Do you know what I mean? I mean, there's somebody we work with. We're attracted to this person. We have no ill intent for them. We can't ask them out now. We have to worry about the litigious nature of this country.
42:11🔗
Caller
But what about this? You date this girl, everything goes fine, but you break up. It's OK. Now you got you meet a new girl. When she comes up to the job for lunch, what do you do then? Oh my God. Now you feel uncomfortable because you just broke it off with this chick. Now you can't even talk to another girl in the parking lot.
42:27🔗
Adam
But John ain't going to meet a new girl for another five years. She'll be long gone, right, John?
42:37🔗
Adam
OK. Listen, John, here's what I would do if an I was you. And I think this is fine. I don't think there's anything wrong with this. I think you go up to her, and you say to her, hey, you know, I'd like to take you out for a cup of coffee. And I understand we work together, and I understand I'm your boss, and I'm going to understand that can be a little strange. And I gave it some thought, but I'd like to have a cup of coffee with you. And if it's something that you're not into or something that you think is a bad idea, that's fine. And I'll never bring it up again. And don't worry about it. We'll just go, we'll show up at work tomorrow. Nothing will have happened. No big deal. But if you like to get a cup of coffee, I'd like to get a cup of coffee with you.
43:21🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
When was the last time you took a girl on a date for a cup of coffee?
43:24🔗
Adam
I'm saying that's code for we're going on a date, but I'm not calling a date. So you can say no to the cup of coffee, and it doesn't seem like you jilted me. Right.
43:42🔗
Caller
I was like, you know what? That's pretty smooth because he said it without seeing it. That's kind of cool.
43:47🔗
Adam
Listen, I don't think there's anything wrong with just being straight up with people and saying, I know we work together and I know maybe that's a no-no, but I'm attracted to you and I'm 25 and I'm a guy and you're a girl. What the hell?
44:02🔗
Adam
I know. Oh my God. All right. On the other hand, she'll probably quit in six months anyway. We'll take a little break.
44:49🔗
Adam
Hey, hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Bruce over there. That was Bill Bellamy talking about how hot it is in the Valley.
45:11🔗
Adam
I know. And it's disconcerting when, especially, it gets weird when you're like coming out of a strip club and it's 2.30 in the morning and you're drunk and it's 88 degrees. And it's kind of weird and you think you've stepped into hell and you think you're being punished for something and it gives a whole like weird sort of surreal feel.
45:32🔗
Adam
It's one thing for it to be like dark and hot, but it's another thing for it to be 2, 3 in the morning and be like 85 degrees and you're standing outside waiting for the valet to get your car and you're sweating through your pants and you're thinking, this is weird. And then you think, whatever it is I'm doing, I got to stop it. Like you go, no more booze, no more strip clubs. This is too much. I can't come back here. I got to get my ass together.
46:06🔗
Adam
It's like whenever I go to Vegas, I think about, now I can handle being in a big air conditioning, big air conditioned hotel and a casino or whatever. But I think about all the people who work at that casino, who have to drive 30 minutes over to Henderson because they live in a trailer park or they live in an apartment, and it's 125 where they live. How do they get, I mean, hey, if they could live in the casino, that'd be one thing. But they got to go home eventually, and what is going on with that? I'd kill myself. He kills me.
46:47🔗
Yeah.
46:54🔗
Caller
Hi. Actually, I'm going to the doctor on Monday the 18th, and I'm going to get my thyroid destroyed with radioactive treatment.
47:07🔗
Caller
Another time. I smoked pot probably two days ago, and I hardly ever do. It's probably the third time I've ever done it. But I was just wondering if, A, they were going to take a test, or if they'd find out, or if it would affect anything.
47:41🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Radioactive iodine is taken up by the thyroid, and then you just put your own thyroid replacement.
47:47🔗
Adam
So what they do is they stop your thyroid gland from producing thyroid, and then they'll give you the right amount of thyroid from that point on.
47:58🔗
Caller
Yeah, they can slow it down, but I've been taking medicine for probably two or three years now.
48:02🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Oh, okay. Well, then it's not okay. Yeah, it's something else. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, it's normally with the thyroid, there's a thyroid inflammation that's very common in females, but the thyroid will burn itself out. It gets hyperthyroid. And so you have something else. But the bottom line is it's a safe procedure and they'll put you on the thyroid replacement. They're not going to do a drug test unless you look like you've.
48:23🔗
Great.
48:48🔗
Caller
I've been trying to get my girlfriend to let me go down on her, but she's kind of reluctant to let me. I'm trying to figure out how I can convince her to let me.
49:02🔗
Adam
I didn't get that close to a vagina until I was like 31. I couldn't imagine. I wouldn't know what to do at 14 being down there. I would have thought that was a big hairy pez dispenser or something.
49:21🔗
Adam
Hey, Lance, here's the thing. You can't get her to do stuff she's uncomfortable with, or she'll take it out on you later. Trust me.
49:36🔗
Adam
All right, Lance, listen to me. Here's the problem with naming your kid Lance. He's going down on chicks at 14.
49:44🔗
Adam
Yeah. Trust me on this one. You can suggest it or bring it up once in a while, but don't bug her or force her or manipulate her, because if you get a woman to do something she doesn't want to do, she might let you do it once, and then you'll spend the rest of your relationship paying for it. We got to take a quick break. Bill Bellamy is our guest tonight. So is Dr. Bruce. Don't worry. Dr. Drew will be back sooner than we know it, and we'll be back.
50:55🔗
Adam
It's Loveline. It's Bill Bellamy. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce Filney for Dr. Groove on number 1-800-LOVE-191. Bill can be found in a whole bunch of stuff coming up. One of the things coming up this Friday on Fox will be the Summer Mania 2000. Yes. It's Music Mania 2000 is what they're calling it, Bill.
51:23🔗
Adam
It's Britney Spears in sync, 98 Degrees, Cisco and many, many more. That's 8 o'clock coming up on Fox this Friday. Where did you guys film that?
51:32🔗
Caller
In Jacksonville at the Convention Center. It was insane. If you watch it, the energy that was in there is like watching a football, like a Nebraska football game. It was crazy.
51:49🔗
Caller
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why they went to Jacksonville. All I know is that the support sold out in 14 minutes.
52:02🔗
Caller
That's his hose, his hose. Me like his hose out there working. I told my hose to stop. Page me when I'm working. I'll be there soon.
52:28🔗
Caller
Call up the House of Blues. It's right in LA on Sunset Boulevard. Tell them, you know, you want to come check out the show. The tickets are very, very inexpensive, actually. They're not that expensive at all.
52:40🔗
Hi.
52:49🔗
Caller
All right. Well, I've been having some problems with my boyfriend. It's like, I don't know how long they've been really going on because, well, let me put it this way, I'm a pretty depressed person back in like eighth grade. I'm a junior now. I was in a psychiatric hospital for attempting suicide. So, yeah, anyway, how old is your boyfriend?
53:37🔗
Caller
Yeah. What do you call it? Basically, since I'm so depressed and everything, it's really easy for me to do that. So, like, my boyfriend and I will be talking on the phone, and he'll just be like, he'll be in a really good mood and everything. It seems like every time he gets into a good mood, I'll say something or do something. I don't know why, but it just completely changes the mood of the conversation. And I think he actually told me this, he said, he thinks that maybe I'm trying to find a reason to break up, but I'm not succeeding in it. I don't want to break up with him on the outside.
54:15🔗
Adam
Like, you don't know if you're alive unless someone's yelling or someone's screaming or something's going on.
54:30🔗
Caller
No, I was on Prozac for a month after I got out of the hospital, but then they're like, oh, well, you're fine, so you don't need to be on it anymore.
54:40🔗
Adam
All right. Listen, you need to get a little therapy because you're depressed. And this is a miserable way to go through life.
54:52🔗
Adam
And what about what about activities and things at school, you know, soccer teams and that kind of stuff?
54:58🔗
Caller
I do performing arts in my school and plus I'm on the varsity softball team and I'm playing softball outside of school right now because the season doesn't start till spring.
55:05🔗
Caller
Oh, man, you're doing it. You're an athletic. You must be hitting that softball hard as hell being that depressed.
55:25🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So, you got, it sounds like your depression is not the type of depression where you can't sleep or eat or you're immobilized by it.
55:45🔗
Caller
Yeah. I, what do you call it, in sixth grade was like the first time I saw her. Like every summer or every like Christmas break I visited her. She lives in Colorado now. She used to live in Maui.
55:56🔗
Adam
What have you said to your dad? Hey dad, you know what? I feel real bad and I want to talk to someone about it because I feel bad. I want to do that for myself. I want to help myself. What do you think he would say?
56:08🔗
Caller
I'm not sure exactly what he would say. He'd probably go through the whole discussion again of why I tried to kill myself, things like that.
56:15🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So what did he say? You're trying to kill yourself. It wasn't really that you're going to kill yourself. You just wanted to get attention and take control.
56:22🔗
Adam
But tell him anyway you slice it. I mean, listen, I'm going to the shrink tomorrow and I feel fine. You know what I mean? I mean, it's not like you don't have to be at the brink of killing yourself in order to go to the therapist.
56:37🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So your dad, is there an adult male in your life that you communicate with? It sounds like you can't get your dad's attention anyway and he doesn't listen to you when you do.
56:43🔗
Caller
He is the only one because the guy that my mom is married to now, he's a really cool guy. But it's just like he's another kid, you know? He and I are on a really good friendship level.
57:07🔗
Caller
No, I have a pediatrician but, oh, what's it called? I had surgery on my back last August.
57:30🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
If it's over a certain percentage, there's a way of measuring the angle.
57:35🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So, is your family doctor, your pediatrician, pediatrics supposed to go to age 21, but I know one pediatrician says if they have pubic hair, we're not comfortable with them. Are you comfortable with, is it a guy or a girl?
57:48🔗
Caller
It's a guy. I mean, I don't go to him that often. So, I guess I don't really have one field and one other form.
57:55🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Okay, normally, as a teenager, it's great to have an adult male, a dad, that you can interact with, that you respect, and that you learn some of the healthy relationship issues that you develop eventually with adult males when you're a child. So, if she could go, doesn't sound like a school counselor.
58:22🔗
Adam
Yeah, but he didn't really talk to him. Or you go get your own shrink. You got to pay for it.
58:28🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Or God is Catholic. Ask your mom if there's a family therapist you can all go see.
58:32🔗
Adam
Your mom is out of town. You got to go to a local college and ask them. What about that? Okay, that's genius. Thank you. Jay?
58:47🔗
Caller
No, my question was kind of two questions. My question was about penis enlargements and penis bumps and if they work or long term effects.
59:31🔗
Adam
OK. Listen, Jay. First off, when's the last time you measured your penis? It may have grown.
59:38🔗
Adam
Yeah. I swear to God, I think every male measures his penis once between the age of maybe 14 and 17 and then never again. But every guy does it at least once. And the problem is, is their last measurement is what they're going off of. I'd re-measure mine. As a matter of fact, I don't measure mine anymore. I did the water displacement test. It's much more effective. I fill a graduated cylinder with water. Right. I dunk my penis into it and I see how much water I displace, but that shows overall volume.
1:00:10🔗
Caller
I measure mine in depth. How hard I hit the uterus. You feel me? So if I'm hitting the uterus, I'm deep. If I hear a rib crack, I'm really deep.
1:00:27🔗
Adam
If you turn a chick inside out, I couldn't hit her uterus. But listen, Jay, here's the deal with the penis pump. A, if they work, they'd be a hell of a lot more than $39.95. And it wouldn't be just advertising the back of Hustler. Everyone would have one of these. Every guy would have one of these on his nightstand. It does not work. Drawing blood to your penis is what happens when you wake up in the morning. It's what happens when you get an erection. I mean, you have blood drawn to your penis five times a day every day when you're 18. It hasn't grown any, has it? No, so that's not going to do anything. The procedures, these medical procedures, they don't work. They were all the rage about five years ago, and now they're having a lot of bad side effects. So that ain't going to work either.
1:01:11🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I think it's mostly if you have circulatory problems, like diabetics, they can't get the blood to circulate there.
1:01:22🔗
Adam
I saw one that said enlarge your penis to mammoth proportion. I thought, I was thinking while I was reading this ad, I was thinking, I wouldn't mind adding a couple inches, but mammoth proportions, I mean, I've got to go work on Monday. I don't want to be dragging my penis behind me.
1:01:39🔗
Adam
You know what's funny about the ad too, in the back of the magazine, it shows the dude flaccid, and then it shows the same dude with an erection, and it's like, well, no, duh, his penis is bigger. I mean, the guy's got a boner now. You know what I'm saying? None of this stuff works. Let me explain something. Bruce, quiet down. I know about the penis, because I have a very average penis. I've never had any complaints. Women don't care about the penis size that much. You know what they want? They want some good lovemaking technique. They want a guy who's present and a guy who's sensitive. They want a guy who knows what he's doing when he's going downstairs on him.
1:02:13🔗
Adam
Now, if you polled a hundred women and asked them, would you like to have a guy with a huge penis who didn't go down on you too good, or a guy with an average penis who did a great job when he went down on you? All hundred of them would say they'd like the guy with the average penis who did a good job going down on me.
1:02:30🔗
Adam
That is. You guys out there who are a little light in the shorts, you just perfect the technique of oral sex, compensate they call it, and you'll have a fine sex life with plenty of satisfied customers. Thank you very much, Bruce. Susan. I love schlong. Susan, you're 15.
1:02:48🔗
Caller
Okay. I told my boyfriend that my brother molested me, and he said to confront him or he would confront him.
1:03:05🔗
Caller
And so I confronted him and I started telling him like how much I hated him for doing it to me and stuff. And like I started really yelling at him and stuff. And then so he like pulled, he pulled out again and he shot himself.
1:03:56🔗
Adam
Okay, hold on a second. Note to self. Do not confront people with sensitive emotional material when they're cleaning their gun. That is a bad time in there. Susan, so he just lifted the gun up and shot himself right in front of you?
1:04:20🔗
Adam
In his room? Okay. And so obviously you're traumatizing now. Do you feel responsible in some way?
1:04:27🔗
Caller
Yeah. Like the thing is I don't want to tell my parents because they don't know why he did it. And I'm afraid to tell my parents because I don't want him to like look bad and stuff.
1:04:38🔗
Adam
This is really, really freaky. Really? So the thing is, and it's a very, it's a dilemma because you don't, in a way, you want to tell your folks what this guy was doing to you. But in another way, you don't want them to hold you responsible for what he did to himself.
1:04:53🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah. Susan, you have been a victim in terrible things. I mean, being molested is more than anybody should have to ever deal with. And you've had to deal with that. And then you took someone else's advice and something horrible happened. And now you're feeling guilty about what happened and you're afraid to talk to your parents. You need a support system. You need someone you can talk to.
1:05:30🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
No. When your brother, when this happened to him, did you go somewhere to the hospital or to a counselor?
1:05:37🔗
Caller
My parents heard the gunshot and stuff, so they like, they like went, they ran to the gym and I was in there and stuff.
1:05:53🔗
Adam
So you said you just walked in and he did it? And when the police came and all that, no counselors came?
1:06:00🔗
Caller
Yeah, the counselor came and stuff and they just like told me that was okay and stuff. Like, they just asked me why do I think he did it? And I said, I don't know.
1:06:10🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Okay. And they gave you their phone number, I would assume, a card?
1:06:18🔗
Adam
The battery went down. To make things worse that your goddamn Porta phone was running low on batteries the whole time. Wow, that is a really, really heavy call and a real serious dilemma and more than any 15-year-old should ever have to deal with and oh my god, I don't know, I don't even know where to begin because after experiencing this, I mean, can you ever really bounce back from that?
1:06:43🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
You can bounce back. The critical thing is getting therapy that's intensive within 24 hours because the interesting thing is without going into a diatribe.
1:06:53🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
That there's a huge outpouring of hormones like your steroid hormones and your sex hormones and your brain is bathed in these and it's sort of a self-preservation thing but it actually stimulates your brain to develop different pathways that are what eventually are the nightmares and the anxiety and the depression.
1:07:14🔗
Adam
Okay, so that's interesting. So right after something horribly traumatic happens like you see a loved one get killed in front of you, you got to get to the counseling like a 24-hour window because that's when all these things are being released.
1:07:29🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Right and it instead of rechanneling or having new pathways develop like that by venting and by working through the...
1:07:38🔗
Adam
Okay, so let me ask you this. Should she say anything to her parents? I don't think she should. I think she should go to the counselor and work it out there.
1:07:47🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Right. There's no... We can't give her any of... I talked to her. She needs to get to a profound... I'm surprised. I'm just shocked that there wasn't more follow up with this because she should have been...
1:07:55🔗
Caller
They probably wouldn't even think of it though. They probably didn't even think of how...
1:07:58🔗
Adam
But just the fact that she saw her brother blow himself away, you know, right in front of her seems like enough.
1:08:03🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Yeah, not the parents but whoever she saw. I mean, she's got to call back and just go and talk to that person and see them on a regular basis.
1:08:10🔗
Adam
And understand the family she's coming from. You got a brother who's getting it on with the little girl for eight years and the family's oblivious to it. So these people aren't exactly emotionally on top of everything that's going on under that roof. So I could see them dropping the ball in a big way. Plus they got a disturbed kid who's got a gun collection. That's number two.
1:08:36🔗
Adam
Right, and she's got to deal with that. All right, so my advice is please get hold of this counselor because you're going to do a lot of stuff the rest of your life that you're not going to want to do based on the molestation, based on this trauma. You got to get to this now.
1:08:51🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
And it's only going to get better when you do that, when you get to start venting and start not being a victim. She's just been a victim her entire life.
1:09:00🔗
Adam
What a dilemma. You dropped the bomb on this guy. He kills himself right in front of you. And your whole life you feel responsible. And the thing that's worse is you're angry at the guy who you feel sorry for.
1:09:14🔗
Adam
I mean you must have a ton of hatred for the guy for doing what he did to her. But in a way you also feel responsible for what he did to himself. Yeah, call that counselor. Lindsay? Hi. Little Drew hears about that one. All the good ones come when Drew's gone. I don't mean good, but I mean... You know, there's a handful of calls I remember or doing the five...
1:09:37🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
The kid in the tub that time. He was at the party. He was staying with his mother and his boyfriend. Oh, there's a CPS report.
1:09:45🔗
Adam
Hold on, the way you paint a picture, Bruce, it's wonderful radio. A kid in the tub with the...
1:10:00🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I thought you'd remember, because it was a boy that woke up in a party. Right. His mom left him with her boyfriend, and he had all his friends over. And then the kid, he says, I woke up, they gave me something to drink, and when I woke up, I was naked in the tub, and I had blood in my rectum. I think I should get some help. We're just talking about a former... Are you serious? Oh, yeah, and that I...
1:10:24🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I filed a CPS report, Child Protective Services Report. And the guy called back, and it was amazing.
1:10:35🔗
Adam
And by the way, speaking of bloody rectum, Bill Bellamy can be found at the Punchline. Thursday the 4th, it's Saturday, and then House of Blues on the 19th, that's Tuesday, right? Oh, go ahead there, Lindsay.
1:10:47🔗
Caller
Um, yeah, I just was wondering, like, I have a boyfriend and he's 19 and I'm 17, and when I'm over at his house, he puts in porno sometimes, and a lot of the time they're just like female with female, and they really turn me on, and I feel like sexually attracted to the women, and like ever since then, I've been like fantasizing about having sex with women. I was just wondering if it made me a lesbian or if I should actually go for it and do something.
1:11:25🔗
Adam
Yeah, me neither. And what and and you see, here's the thing. Or he's into dudes and he knows it. But it's not like he saw some gay porn and thought, hey, what's up with that side of me?
1:11:48🔗
Adam
I know chicks call all the time and say, you know, I'm not into chicks, but my friend Tammy, she's so beautiful, man. And we were like, I slept over at her house, you know, she has beautiful breasts, and I just started caressing her. And I was thinking as a picture, a guy saying that, like, I'm not into dudes, but I went over to Larry's house and we're out in the garage and he's really cool. So we started making out.
1:12:12🔗
Caller
So you're never going to be able to go to the movies with your friends again. You know, playing pool is totally different now.
1:12:18🔗
Adam
That's right. He's bent over trying to trying to thinking about getting the bridge out and you're looking at his ass.
1:12:33🔗
Caller
Like when I was about 12, my babysitter's neighbor, like, locked me in a closet and kind of did that. I'll show you mine if you show me your thing.
1:12:58🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Okay. From my medical perspective, I'm concerned about you've had some abuse, you're watching porno, and you're thinking you're really focused on sex, and you've got the maturation thing, the growing up thing at your age, you should be working on the relationship issues, how to have a stable relationship with somebody. And it sounds more like the watching the porno and being attracted to women may be an outgrowth of what happened to you before. Rather, it doesn't sound like you're a lesbian, it sounds like you've got some issues to deal with. Have you gone to a counselor?
1:13:31🔗
Caller
No, but I fantasize about it, but when it comes down to it, I don't know if I'd really ever want to.
1:13:36🔗
Adam
Okay. Well, that's fine. Hey, listen to me, Lindsey, we got to go to break, but I'll tell you this right now, almost everyone who calls this show who acts on one of their fantasies regrets it.
1:13:45🔗
Adam
Threesomes when they're married, lesbian things, all this stuff, it all turns into a nightmare. Clit piercings, it never works out. It's always horrible. So let it be a fantasy, fine.
1:13:59🔗
Adam
You and your boyfriend, go out and get some pizza once in a while. Don't just go flop it over at a parents' place watching lesbian porn. And where were these chicks when I was 19?
1:14:13🔗
Adam
If I said to some chick, hey, how about you come over, hey, pick up a six pack and stop by Noggles and pick me up like a burrito and we'll watch some lesbian porn for about six hours and I'll bang the bejesus out of you and then you can find your own way home. I mean, what the, where were these chicks?
1:14:31🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Things like The Man Show destroying the morals of young Americans.
1:14:34🔗
Adam
Oh, how dare you. Bill Bellamy is our guest tonight. I'm going to give Dr. Bruce a light beating and we'll be back after this.
1:14:43🔗
Hello, what is this?
1:15:11🔗
Adam
Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That's the alleged Dr. Bruce over there. I like to see some certifications.
1:15:43🔗
Caller
What's the pause? What's up with the pause, Adam? I mean, she's asking what school he go to.
1:15:49🔗
Adam
How comfortable would you feel if you asked your doctor where he went to medical school and he got like a 10 second.
1:15:59🔗
Adam
Yeah. That's the last thing you saw before the anesthetic kicked in and you passed out.
1:16:11🔗
Adam
What is Andrews? Is that run by, is Julie Andrews founded that school in 1977? It's an Air Force base, man.
1:16:20🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
It's a university. It's in Michigan. It's a private university.
1:16:36🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I used to do lectures on Dungeons and Dragons, heavy metal music.
1:16:49🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I'm sliced and diced. Two comedians and me in this small space.
1:16:51🔗
Caller
Hey, man. Let me say, you know what? He sounds like he knows what he's talking about. When he gets serious, he sounds like...
1:17:10🔗
Adam
What was the name of the team? The Running Nerds? What was the name of the basketball and football team?
1:17:38🔗
Adam
No. You know what the name of Drew's college mascot was or the team that he played? He didn't play for it, but his college, where did he go? Amherst? He went to Amherst. The name of the team? The Lord Jeffs.
1:17:54🔗
Adam
How excited are you when you're playing for like the Wolverines or the Badgers and you're going up against the Lord Jeffs?
1:18:04🔗
Adam
Yeah, you're thinking you're going to see a bunch of like guys with powdered wigs on out there running around scared about breaking their nails. The Lord Jeffs. That's a bunch of hemophiliacs with powdered wigs. The Lord Jeffs.
1:18:26🔗
Adam
Oh, you're talking about football. I thought we meant soccer football. We don't play football. That's something else. We call that something else.
1:18:39🔗
Adam
That's right. All right. You know, Bill Bellamy, by the way, can be found at the punch line that would be coming up this Thursday in San Francisco. And like I said, I was just there. I recommend it highly. It's a very good room. And then the House of Blues, which we all know is great out here on the Sunset Strip. Tuesday, the 19th. Also, you can find him on the 15th at the end of the week. Wait a minute. Didn't I say it was on Friday?
1:19:03🔗
Caller
Yeah, but this is a television. Television. It was pre-taped. The Summer Mania 2000.
1:19:08🔗
Adam
I see. But I'm looking here and it says, it says September 15th, 8 o'clock, Cisco and on Fox and InSync 98 Degrees and all that good stuff. Britney Spears. So you don't want to miss that. All right. Now, where the hell is we? We're on 6. We're getting back to the phone.
1:19:29🔗
Adam
I want to hear a little Dr. Drew Boogie, too, before the night is over. We always hear that when Drew's out on vacation.
1:20:03🔗
Tried to be straight, or I thought I shouldn't be straight, and I was confused.
1:20:28🔗
Confused.
1:20:34🔗
Not acceptable.
1:20:39🔗
Adam
Oh, Drew. I gotta tell him when those mics are hot. You know, sometimes we talk. What happens is how all those things get picked up is Drew and I have, you know, very frank, open, honest conversations during the commercial break. Sometimes Anderson leaves the mics turned up and Drew starts speaking about his personal life, about the raping, about the doing the peyote, about his boyfriends, what he did in college, his illicit sexual, drug life, the whole other side that you don't hear about in the radio and ends up getting picked up on the microphone. I did some gay porn in the late 70s. Well, sometimes I open up. I just got done whacking off to my mom. Listen, what about the physician-client privilege? You know, when I'm talking to a doctor, Anderson, during a commercial, you've got to have those mics down. That is a confidential moment we're having. You understand? Please. Mark? Yeah. You're 27? You've got to put that whacking off the mom in the context. If you'd heard the conversation before, then it all makes sense. Go ahead, Mark.
1:21:52🔗
Caller
21. Okay. Wife married a jock and the jock turned into a complete and total computer nerd.
1:22:01🔗
Caller
Yeah. Yeah. And now I guess I'd say this is going to sound bizarre. And no, it's not porn or anything. It's just the computer negates the need for sex.
1:22:16🔗
Adam
Well, if it's not sex or it's not porn that you're looking at, what are you looking at?
1:22:32🔗
Caller
I'm writing programs, debugging programs, building on things our people have already built. Right.
1:22:40🔗
Caller
Actually, I do the same thing at work, but at home I do it too and it has nothing to do with work.
1:22:52🔗
Caller
Well, not only is it time-consuming, it gets to the point where, I mean, don't get me wrong, my wife is very good-looking and everything, but it's gotten to the point where she can roll on the floor naked, and goddamn it, you're in my way.
1:23:10🔗
Adam
All right. Well, listen, Mark, let me ask some questions here. When is the last time you had sex with her?
1:23:42🔗
Caller
Now I'm worried about you. Everything else sounds good until you said you didn't masturbate.
1:23:45🔗
Caller
I've never said I never have and I'm just saying it. Right. Right now, there's more important things to do.
1:23:49🔗
Adam
I've got one off during the last commercial break. But you've become obsessed with this computer.
1:23:58🔗
Adam
Right. We could really fill anything in with the computer. I mean, what I mean is we could take the word computer out and plug in gambling, or plug in pornography, or plug in alcohol, or whatever. That's what you're doing. It's not the computer. It's better than heroin, but it's really the same effect, which is you're not spending time with your family, you're spending time obsessing over something that you shouldn't be obsessing over.
1:24:24🔗
Caller
But I can say this from personal experience, I can get on my computer and literally an hour will go by so fast.
1:24:33🔗
Caller
I mean, between reading what's going on, emailing, returning, an hour and sometimes two hours can go by pretty fast. Now, I'm not programming, so I'm imagining if you're programming you are spending some time, you love it, you seem to really be into it, you spend a lot of time. What's the average time you would spend on it?
1:25:01🔗
Caller
My computer is on. I can control my computer from home too. So I can work on my computer from the office.
1:25:08🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
So Mark, have you come to the point where you feel that this is a problem? Because the way you stated it, it sounds like, well, I just want to get my wife to accept it.
1:25:16🔗
Caller
That's exactly it. If she could just accept that sex does not need to happen right now at this moment, now is not the time.
1:25:28🔗
Adam
Yeah. But Mark, here's the thing. It ain't sex. It's you. She misses you. Women don't miss sex as much as they miss their man. The sex becomes like a metaphor for the relationship. You've checked out of the relationship. When you checked out, you took your penis nuts with you. But you checked out and she misses you. So you don't want to be intimate with her. When I say intimate, I don't just mean sex. I mean you don't want to pay attention to her and women need that and she keeps talking about sex and sometimes when a woman needs a man, she'll try to lure him in for sex. But she don't even want the sex. She wants him to pay attention to her and you're paying more attention to your computer than her. You're going to lose the relationship. This is something that you become obsessed with. It's a problem. It's not her job to understand it. It's her job to understand a few hours a week. It's not her job to understand 26 hours a week or 30 hours a week or 60 hours a week. You got a problem and you got to go to work on this. If you want to save this marriage, but why be married? Why not just get a divorce, stay home, and sit in a puddle of your own semen on your computer for the rest of your life?
1:26:56🔗
Adam
She is. Listen, she is unhappy. Any woman would be unhappy in this situation. And she will begin cheating very soon. Possibly with one of your friends. I guarantee it.
1:27:17🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Have you had a friend that's been alcoholic that you've had to deal with, or somebody with a drug problem? No. Okay, well, have you... You need to get to the point where you...
1:27:27🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
.hear from somebody else, or you have consequences, which may be bottoming out, and you accept that you got a problem, because...
1:27:34🔗
Adam
This guy's your worst nightmare. All right, we gotta take a break, but this guy doesn't seem to think he has a prom, although he calls in with a prom. And listen, all you boneheads out there in Radio Land, don't call this goddamn show like you got a prom, and then tell me you don't got a prom, and have us talk about the prom you don't have, that you called in with. It's like your car doesn't run right, so you take the mechanic, and then he says, what's the prom, backfiring, stalling, missing, bad timing, pinging, and you go, no, no, no prom. You know what his answer is? Get the F out of my garage then. Why did you bring your car in? That's what I say about this show. Mark, you got a problem, you don't even know it, and believe me, she will shock you into knowing it, because let me tell you what women do. They ask nicely for about the first 10 times, and then they'll cheat on you, and then after they cheat, they'll make god damn sure you know about it too. She'll make sure you find out about it, and you know what she'll say when she's telling you? Good, you should have listened to me. Now, I've woken you up from your slumber, you're screwing this relationship up, you're gonna lose me, and on behalf of the kids, you gotta have a relationship with your wife, and what are these kids doing the whole time he's on the computer? You gotta get some therapy, I'm getting excited, I gotta take a leak.
1:28:41🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
And their medications, Mark, that might be able, because it sounds like he's OCD or whatever.
1:28:45🔗
Adam
All right, that's it, we're taking a break. Bill Bellamy's here, I'm gonna urinate, we'll be back after that.
1:29:30🔗
Adam
Hey, it's Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce. Fill in for Dr. Drew. Bill Bellamy is our guest tonight. Find him at the Punchline and Frisco on, coming up this Thursday. Through the whole weekend. Sorry. House of Blues on Tuesday, 19th and then on the Big Fox extravaganza on the 15th. That is on Friday. So Bill's all over the place. Also some feature films coming out soon. And yes, Dr. Bruce.
1:30:07🔗
Adam
I want to say something to all the incarcerated right now. I know I come down on you guys once in a while. And all you guys are going to be in there for a while, you can kiss my ass. But this message goes out to the folks that are going to be paroled shortly. You I love, you are my friends. And when I see you on the outside, it's like we're brothers, all right?
1:30:30🔗
Adam
You guys that are in there doing that mandatory sentencing and lifers, you guys can rot in hell. You guys are getting out soon.
1:30:38🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Remember, remember who your brother is. CYA all out by 25, my friend.
1:31:00🔗
Caller
I've got a couple questions about ecstasy. A very, very solemn drug user. The only thing I've ever done and the only thing I have any interest in doing, I've been exposed to it twice. And I'm currently looking for a new job. I was wondering how long it stays in your system.
1:31:28🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
It's a problem. Any time you talk about it though, I was at a rave last weekend. 40,000 kids. I've seen more ecstasy.
1:31:43🔗
Adam
You're just letting it loose, just getting pumped up full of X and just chasing the dragon. What were you doing?
1:31:54🔗
Adam
Was that at the rave? Did that happen at the rave? That's what they call a downer trip.
1:32:01🔗
Adam
What did you do? You get really high on the X and then you put that mentholatum under your nose and smell that. Is that what you guys do?
1:32:20🔗
Caller
So you moonlight at the rave as a doctor. Do they pay you? They're waiting for somebody who needs help.
1:32:25🔗
Adam
You mean it's like when they hire off-duty cops to work in productions, do the street traffic?
1:32:49🔗
Adam
I see. And you go and you hang out at these raves, and what do you do? Just pick up on younger chicks or just get high or what?
1:32:57🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
We work with the paramedic group. The Med Event is a company and they specialize in going to these type of events where an understanding of what's going on, what drugs are present, who needs to be transported because there are lots of people that come to the medic tent. And if you understand the nature of the drugs, they're usually a lot of LSD, ecstasy, ketamine.
1:33:24🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Well, they expected 15, 17,000 or 40,000. No live music. It's basically DJs piped in music.
1:33:43🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Just good radio. I learned it from Drew. Yeah. It's a teaching lab really because you see things that you, by the time they get to the emergency room.
1:33:53🔗
Adam
And what, is there an admission? Is it five bucks ahead or 10 bucks ahead? Or what are they charging it in?
1:33:59🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Well, if you bought your tickets last April, you paid 25 and if you paid at the door, it was like 70 or something like that.
1:34:10🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
No, there's gonna be another one in a couple of weeks and Dr. McKenzie from LA Children's, maybe Drew.
1:34:17🔗
Adam
I'll fill up all the chicks who pass out. Someone's gotta do it. It might as well be someone who's trained.
1:34:25🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
But ecstasy is a drug that people say, well, I just use it when I, and I'm not saying everybody that goes to raves is doing drugs, but.
1:34:31🔗
Adam
Oh, well, not all of them. I mean, not you and not the guy who takes a ticket at the door, but the other 39,998 are high.
1:34:43🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
And the problem with something like ecstasy is even if you just use it once in a while, there are greater concerns with permanent changes.
1:34:50🔗
Adam
So, who are you seeing at these tents most often? Ketamine or X? Or what drugs are they on?
1:34:57🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
I'd say for the number of people using ketamine, there's a lot of complications with it, because when you're coming out of it, you have, they call it a TUR. You go into a TUR state, you have an emergence phenomenon.
1:35:12🔗
Adam
Really? And they're freaking out? And what do you do when someone is having a bad trip?
1:35:20🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
The opposite. And the key thing is to sit with them and keep them calm. Really, it's not high-tech medicine.
1:35:28🔗
Adam
Hold on. Your dad, your gym coach, and your priest are just behind this curtain. They want to talk to you. Hold on a sec. Just maintain. Let me go get them. Is that what you do, stuff like that? Yeah.
1:35:41🔗
Adam
But with your dad, your priest, your gym coach, your uncle molested you, and there's a guy who just towed your car. He's with him. So come on in, guys.
1:35:50🔗
Bill Bellamy with Dr. Bruce
Right. This is like the guy with anxiety disorder. You get tremendous anxiety when the police... Should we transport this guy to the...? Right. But the great gamma-hydroxybutyrate, the GBH, GHB, that, when they drink just a little bit of alcohol with that, they stop breathing. Those are the very serious cases.
1:36:07🔗
Adam
But isn't breathing sort of overrated? I mean, can't you go a couple of days? You can't make it. These pussies can't make it a couple of days without breathing. When I was a teenager and I used to go to raves, we never breathed.
1:36:19🔗
Adam
All right, we'll take a little break. We'll be back. Well, that's about it for the Fabulous Show. Oh, I'm going to give a few more prompts to Bill Bellamy. San Francisco Punchline coming up on Thursday through the whole weekend, coming up this weekend. House of Blues, Tuesday the 19th. He's going to film that. So go out and be part of that fun. And then the Music Mania 2000, which is coming up on Fox this Friday.
1:37:24🔗
Caller
Adam, it's always a pleasure to kick it with you, man. And, you know, tell your man to come back, man. This guy's crazy. I don't even know if he went to a real medical school, man.
1:37:38🔗
Adam
Okay, listen to me. Bill, come back. I know you got some big features gonna be released in the next few months. Come back and plug those.
1:37:58🔗
Dr. Bruce
This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.