Monday, July 17, 2000

1:48🔗 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

2:00🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-44-55. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. And tonight we'd like to welcome back to the show Jaguares.

2:21🔗 Yeah.

2:23🔗 Adam I think I nailed that Jaguares to you and me.

2:27🔗 You have good pronunciation.

2:29🔗 Adam I get that one right. Alfonso, Andre and Saul. Saul Hernandez is our guest tonight. You guys, what is this, the third time in here? Second, I guess. Second? The first one must have just felt long.

2:43🔗 Drew The third time.

2:44🔗 Adam It is the third time. Yes, I knew you guys had been around here for a while. The Latin Rock, as we talked about the first time, and probably the second time, and now the third time, is really, well, it's going past making inroads, I think, into the American culture. It's here. You guys are selling tickets, selling out the pond, selling millions of albums up for three Latin Grammy nominations, but who's at the show? Is it exclusively Latino folks or is it a mixture? And is it becoming more white as the years wear on?

3:31🔗 It's becoming more, huh?

3:32🔗 Jaguares More mixed each time. There's a lot of also Latinos, but they don't speak Spanish. They've been born here and they don't speak the language, but they like the band.

3:45🔗 Adam I went to school with a bunch of those guys. Yeah. Jorge Espinosa don't speak a lick of Spanish. But we can still make fun of him, you know.

3:54🔗 Drew Adam Corolla doesn't speak a lick of Italian.

3:56🔗 Adam Oh, Paisan. Yeah. All right. All right. I can pronounce most of food and cheeses though. And you guys are from, where was it?

4:07🔗 Jaguares Mexico City.

4:07🔗 Adam Mexico City. That's what I wanted to say. Yeah. And you make your homes still there, right?

4:14🔗 Jaguares Well, Saúl has moved wisely out of Mexico City because it's really a nasty place to live.

4:19🔗 There's a lot of crime out there.

4:21🔗 Adam I heard it's the smoggiest place on earth, which as a LA resident made me feel good. Because I always figured we were living in the smoggiest place.

4:29🔗 Drew I have patients that live down there. Really the main thing that gets you is the crime.

4:33🔗 Jaguares Yes.

4:33🔗 Drew It's very scary.

4:34🔗 Jaguares Very, very scary.

4:34🔗 It's the crime and we are like 22 million people in the city and the surroundings.

4:41🔗 Jaguares Surroundings.

4:42🔗 And we are a lot of people. Too much traffic. But it's really nice in the sense of madness and a lot of things happen in the city. It's really active.

4:53🔗 Jaguares Surrealistic.

4:54🔗 Surrealistic. It's nice.

4:57🔗 Adam You guys got a new president now, right?

5:00🔗 Jaguares Yes. A new party ruling. For 70 years, we had the same one. It was like a dictatorship.

5:07🔗 Drew Is it a good thing, everyone?

5:09🔗 Jaguares We don't like it very much, but the change is good. It's a good thing.

5:12🔗 Adam The guy's really, his ego must be brimming because every interview from every Latin guy here, here's how it goes. So you like the new guy. Well, no, we just didn't like the old guy. That seems to be the popular opinion. They hated the old guy. They're not so sure about the new guy, but the new guy, the best thing he has gone for him is he's not the old guy.

5:36🔗 Jaguares Yes, absolutely.

5:38🔗 He's a new guy from the old guy.

5:41🔗 Adam Oh really, he's from the old party. He was from the old party?

5:44🔗 This is a new party. But the people vote for against the old party. So this is the one who became more confrontation with the old party and the people start to believe what happened. And we hope something really is gonna change.

6:04🔗 Adam Well, what do you care? You're living. Where are you living now?

6:06🔗 Now I escaped from the city.

6:08🔗 Jaguares He still lives in Mexico.

6:09🔗 Adam Oh, you're still in Mexico, just not in Mexico City.

6:12🔗 Jaguares He moved to the beach.

6:13🔗 Adam Well, now how does it... I thought the whole place was a beach. How does it work? How do the elections work? I mean, here we do the president once every four years. They do...

6:23🔗 Jaguares No, it's six years.

6:24🔗 Adam Six years?

6:25🔗 Jaguares Yes.

6:26🔗 Adam Yeah, let's see. If you factor Naps in, I think you're on about the same timetable. You know what I'm saying? This is a little more laid back. All right. We will hear something from Jaguares off the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack, which is... How did you make it on to that? How did that come about?

6:45🔗 We really don't know. Something, some accident happened, and some people from Paramount Pictures called to the office and asked me if I can write a song for the soundtrack. And that's it. I came and I work with Stuart Copeland.

7:03🔗 Adam Yeah, Stuart Copeland was on the show, I think, about a year and a half ago. Smart guy, nice guy.

7:08🔗 Yeah, he's a great musician, and we worked together with a couple of friends from Puerto Rico. They played percussions.

7:17🔗 Adam Had you worked with Stuart before? Did you know his work from the police?

7:21🔗 Yeah, of course.

7:21🔗 Adam Did you want to work with him?

7:23🔗 Actually, we made...

7:25🔗 Jaguares There was this tribute album to the police made by Latin artists, and Saul was in that one also.

7:32🔗 Drew They were talking about that last time.

7:33🔗 Adam Oh, right. Yeah, which song did you do for the tribute album?

7:38🔗 I choose one, Does Everyone Stare? It's from Regatta de Blanc?

7:47🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, the thing about the police is all their names are some kind of Spanish. What does that mean? What are the two... They had the regatta de something and the blanco de... Yeah. What's that mean?

8:01🔗 Jaguares Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Spanish, at least nothing.

8:04🔗 They said that means queremos tacos. That was Stewart said in Mexico in the conference.

8:10🔗 What means is queremos tacos.

8:12🔗 Okay. So this is the only signification.

8:17🔗 Adam All right. We will... You guys know how the show goes. People call in. They bear their souls and we make fun of them. Kiki? Kiki. Oh, boy.

8:29🔗 Drew Caller goes by Kiki.

8:30🔗 Hello?

8:31🔗 Adam Yes. You're 34 years old. What's up?

8:33🔗 Caller Well, I can't have an orgasm when my husband and I are having intercourse. And I'm 34 years old. Is it too late to even try? Am I over the heel? What should I do?

8:46🔗 Adam When can you have an orgasm?

8:48🔗 Caller When I'm having oral sex. Okay.

8:52🔗 Adam And you've never been able to have an orgasm through intercourse, right?

8:57🔗 Caller Never.

8:57🔗 Drew With anybody?

8:58🔗 Caller With anybody.

9:00🔗 Adam Okay.

9:00🔗 Drew Well, you can always work on it with your husband. You can talk about it. No, I mean, just bring it up and work on it and not say in your usual ride.

9:10🔗 Adam It's not going to work. How about?

9:12🔗 Caller I've been faking it for so long.

9:13🔗 Adam Oh, have you been faking it?

9:15🔗 Caller Yeah, I have. Good girl. That's great.

9:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Listen, a lot of people get offended when they hear that. I think it's the greatest gift a woman can give to a man to fake the orgasm.

9:27🔗 Caller Right.

9:28🔗 Adam You guys comprender with the fake orgasm?

9:30🔗 Jaguares Yes, we comprender.

9:33🔗 Adam That's right.

9:34🔗 Very good.

9:35🔗 Adam Wow, I almost had one. Hey, Kiki.

9:38🔗 Caller Yes.

9:39🔗 Adam Here's how you could possibly have yourself an orgasm while you're having intercourse with your husband.

9:44🔗 Caller Okay.

9:46🔗 Adam You got a pen and pencil there? Okay. Write this down. Dildo? Okay. I'm done. Now, get a vibrator, right?

9:55🔗 Caller Okay.

9:56🔗 Adam Then you get the vibrator going and you get the clitoral stimulation going while your husband is having intercourse with you.

10:04🔗 Caller Right.

10:04🔗 Adam Then you have your orgasm while he's in you.

10:08🔗 Caller Okay.

10:09🔗 Drew Never work.

10:09🔗 Adam It'll work.

10:10🔗 Drew Sometimes it does.

10:11🔗 Adam It can work. It's your only option.

10:14🔗 Caller Yeah, it's your only option.

10:15🔗 Adam Right.

10:16🔗 Caller So he won't catch on to doing something different.

10:19🔗 Drew Listen, guys.

10:19🔗 Caller I've been faking it for so long.

10:21🔗 Drew No, not about the faking.

10:22🔗 Adam No. Just tell them you want to introduce it.

10:25🔗 Drew Guys believe exactly what you want them to believe.

10:27🔗 Adam Okay.

10:27🔗 Caller Oh, okay. Okay.

10:28🔗 Adam All right, Kiki. So you get that vibrator. Not one of those big novelty ones either. Just a small one. You can direct the pressure on the clitoris. All right? Okay. I'll do that. Okay. Bye. In Spanish, clitoris?

10:42🔗 Jaguares Clitoris. The accent.

10:44🔗 Adam I see. Yeah. That's how my grandmother pronounces it. I swear to God, my grandmother pulled me aside and said something was bothering her. She listens to the show. She said, it's not clitoris, it is clitoris. I said, how do you know? I have many friends who are doctors. They all say clitoris. I said, well, Drew's a doctor. She believes now that we're friends, you're no longer a doctor. You're just one of my F-up buddies. So we looked it up and it says you can go either way.

11:13🔗 Drew Wichram, I knew there was something we need to talk about tonight. Remember last night we left off with the...

11:19🔗 Adam Me cramping in a popcorn bucket?

11:21🔗 Drew We didn't tell the story. You and I left off with that.

11:24🔗 Adam Well, write that down, Drew, and we'll get into it in the next hour. Make yourself a mental note there. Also, I saw the roof of my house on TV today when a medium speed pursuit went right by my house.

11:38🔗 Drew Went up that hill?

11:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Did you see any of that?

11:41🔗 Drew I heard about it. I didn't realize it went up in the hills.

11:42🔗 Adam Do you guys see that car pursuit? No. I don't think they would handle it the same way in Mexico.

11:47🔗 Drew It's a red pickup truck, right?

11:48🔗 Adam Yeah.

11:49🔗 Jaguares Here, Here you are a star if you're in one of those. Yeah.

11:52🔗 Adam You're a big celebrity for, this guy was on the road for about an hour and 45 minutes.

11:57🔗 Drew Three hours.

11:57🔗 Adam No, not three hours. That's what you heard, but you heard wrong. He was about an hour and 45 minutes, and because of all the lawsuits against the LAPD, these guys are scared to do anything. So not only will they not stop you, they'll just follow you, and they won't even follow you closely because they don't want you to feel pressured. It's a really bizarre thing for a police, you know, it's an interesting ploy for the police or strategy for the cops to adapt, which is this guy's making a run for it. Let's give him room, fellas. And they sit way back, they're 150 feet behind the guy, and they followed him. And he came up my street, he came around the back, he came right around my house, I was just watching it on the news, I saw the guy drive right past my house, right down the hill, and he drove through Travel Town and through the zoo and through Burbank, he came back around to Hollywood again, he went through Silver Lake, then he got on the freeway and he drove all the way out to Woodland Hills, he got off.

13:02🔗 He stopped in the 7-Eleven, he took some groceries, and he continued.

13:06🔗 Adam That's right, he held up a guy at an ATM, they gave him room. They just give you room, and the thing I can't figure out about it is especially, you know where I live, Drew, up in the hills there, all you'd have to do is when this guy went one direction up the hill, there's only one outlet and that's the other direction, they could just sent a car up the other direction, just parked it.

13:27🔗 Jaguares Yeah.

13:27🔗 Adam There's just no possible way to escape if you did that, they're not interested in stopping them anymore. There's no spikes, there's no ramming, there's no nothing and like I said, they don't even follow closely, they're way behind the guy. And it goes on for hours. Now in Mexico, that wouldn't happen, would it?

13:46🔗 Jaguares No. They would shoot them or something.

13:48🔗 Adam They'd shoot them, they'd throw a tequila bottle at the guy, they'd do something, right? I mean, how long, here's what I'd like to know.

13:56🔗 Caller There is much easy.

13:58🔗 Adam How long is the?

13:58🔗 Caller We have more, more, we're more civilized because the police stop and you take your wallet, you say, hey man, give me a break and you give money and that's it.

14:09🔗 Adam Nobody ever flees.

14:11🔗 Caller Nobody dies, nobody shoots.

14:13🔗 Adam I wouldn't do it either. I bet you we would cut these pursuits by tenfold if you knew you could just hand the guy 50 bucks and be on your way. I mean, that's how it is in Mexico, right?

14:26🔗 Caller Just grease the guy's palm and a little not all the time, but most of the time sometimes happened.

14:31🔗 Adam Yeah, I saw a cop on a police motorcycle in Tijuana. He rode a wheelie down the street. I thought you don't see a lot of that in LA. Yeah. All right. Elizabeth.

14:42🔗 Yes.

14:43🔗 Adam You're 19.

14:44🔗 Caller Yes, I am.

14:45🔗 Adam What's up?

14:46🔗 Caller Okay. My boyfriend's dad's going out of town and I'm on the pill and I'm supposed to have my period this week and I wanted to know if I can just start another packet of pills and not have it and if it'll be okay.

14:59🔗 Adam Your boyfriend's dad is going out of town so you get to have sex?

15:02🔗 Caller Exactly.

15:03🔗 Adam I see. And he's living at home, I guess?

15:06🔗 Well, yeah.

15:09🔗 Caller We're all going to school.

15:11🔗 Adam How old is he?

15:11🔗 Caller We'll live at home and mooch off our parents and go to school.

15:14🔗 Adam I see. All right. And now it's time for sex. And what was the pill question again?

15:19🔗 Drew Can she, in other words, start a packet up without waiting that one week in between and not have her period until?

15:25🔗 Adam Oh, I see. Yeah.

15:27🔗 Drew You can do that. I've done that for people when they're like weddings approaching and that sort of thing.

15:32🔗 Adam I hope they tip you for that.

15:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:34🔗 Adam That's interesting.

15:35🔗 Drew Yeah. It can screw things up that you can get heavier bleeding and your cycles can be all screwed up and you can be uncomfortable.

15:40🔗 Adam But you can jog the period.

15:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

15:43🔗 Adam I mean, if you had, I don't know, some long distance romance and the guy was coming in from New York for a weekend, nice.

15:51🔗 Drew It's not a healthy thing particularly. Are you on a monophasic pill? What pill are you on?

15:55🔗 Caller The, oh gosh, orthotricyclin.

15:59🔗 Drew Yeah. See, it's a little trickier with those tricyclic pills.

16:02🔗 Adam Who's got a bigger problem with it, you or your boyfriend?

16:05🔗 Caller It's his thing.

16:06🔗 Adam He's not into that?

16:08🔗 Caller No.

16:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:09🔗 Drew Tell him to not be such a pussy.

16:11🔗 Adam Thank you, Drew. Yeah. You tell him to lighten up.

16:15🔗 Caller It's a little bit so, like if I started another-

16:18🔗 Drew It's part of the wonder that is the female form.

16:20🔗 Adam Yeah.

16:20🔗 Caller Is it okay or would I not get pregnant kind of thing?

16:25🔗 Drew Yeah. You'll be protected that way.

16:27🔗 Caller Okay. So then it just wouldn't start and then it would-

16:29🔗 Drew Well, you'll get a screwed up period. You'll have some spotting and stuff. It's not a great thing to do. If I were you, I wouldn't recommend it.

16:37🔗 Caller Okay.

16:38🔗 Adam All right. It's time for him to prove he loves you.

16:42🔗 Drew Yeah.

16:43🔗 Adam You do what I do. You put a little compressed air up there, you dry it out, you clean it out a little bit, it's fine. No, compressed air. I don't blow up there. I need about 90 PSI. All right, Elizabeth. Okay, thank you. Hey, listen. But here is a safety tip. Take dad's good down comforter and go ahead and just roll that off the bed. The last thing you want to do is leave that trail of evidence. Do you know what I'm saying?

17:10🔗 Caller Don't worry. We're smart.

17:11🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. Good luck to you there.

17:15🔗 Drew The section went on in the bedroom.

17:17🔗 Adam Brittany, you're 14.

17:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

17:20🔗 Adam You're on with Jaguares.

17:22🔗 Caller Okay.

17:22🔗 Adam That's good.

17:26🔗 Caller Okay. Yeah. Me and my boyfriend, we were having sex and I don't know if it was the physician. We were on doggie or whatever and I don't know. So I started cleaving and all and all of my juices just went all over his stomach and I don't know.

17:46🔗 Drew You were squirting.

17:47🔗 Caller Right.

17:48🔗 Adam Yeah. You guys, they were in the doggie, what the hell? What the hell is a dog?

17:54🔗 Drew Doggy style.

17:54🔗 Adam The perro.

17:56🔗 Jaguares Perro.

17:57🔗 Adam Perro.

17:57🔗 Jaguares Perrito se dice en Spanish.

17:59🔗 Drew Perrito.

17:59🔗 Jaguares Perrito.

18:00🔗 Adam Perrito position.

18:01🔗 Jaguares Perrito position.

18:02🔗 Adam Perito position?

18:03🔗 Drew Little doggy.

18:05🔗 Adam Oh, the pequiro perito position?

18:07🔗 Caller The perrito.

18:08🔗 Adam Right. Okay. So that's the doggy position. And how do you translate queef? Oh, I know. You guys, right? You have a word for that? Not farting.

18:19🔗 Jaguares It's what we say is farting.

18:22🔗 Adam Oh, you call farting?

18:24🔗 Jaguares It's a vagina farting.

18:26🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Good. I like that. All right. So that's what happens when you're in the...

18:33🔗 Drew Anderson has a weak stomach, doesn't he? As soon as you go down that road...

18:35🔗 Adam Yeah, he doesn't like any farting.

18:37🔗 Drew He doesn't like human anything.

18:39🔗 Adam He wants to marry a fembot. Brittany?

18:43🔗 Drew Yeah.

18:43🔗 Adam All right. So that's pretty natural, except for the part about the fluid flying out.

18:47🔗 Drew No, the fluid thing is some women do that, and it's a normal thing. Most men sort of appreciate that. What do you say, Adam?

18:55🔗 Adam They do maybe the first time out, but after a few years, it probably gets old. All right.

19:00🔗 Drew Men are always wanting to see the results of their work.

19:03🔗 Adam All right. That happened when you had an orgasm?

19:06🔗 Caller Huh?

19:07🔗 Adam When you had an orgasm, the fluid came out of you?

19:11🔗 Caller I don't think I've ever had an orgasm.

19:13🔗 Adam Oh, okay. So just a fluid. See that, Drew?

19:16🔗 Jaguares I thought it was like coming.

19:20🔗 Adam Yeah, but not in Brittany's case. Hey, Brittany, how old is this guy?

19:24🔗 Caller 16.

19:25🔗 Adam All right. Slow down, baby. You're 14.

19:27🔗 Caller I know.

19:28🔗 Adam All right. What are you using for protection?

19:31🔗 Caller Nothing.

19:32🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

19:33🔗 Adam You'll be pregnant this time tomorrow.

19:35🔗 Drew When will you last with him?

19:37🔗 Caller Um, Saturday.

19:39🔗 Drew You still have time to get the morning after pill, right?

19:43🔗 Adam Oh, she's not going to do that.

19:45🔗 Drew 1-888-not-number-too-late. 1-888-not-too-late. Call the number. They'll refer you to some place locally.

19:50🔗 Adam Hey, Brittany. Yeah. I know you're stupid and young and horny and you make a lot of noise when you have sex and everything, but we're now warning you, OK? You're an adult. You're doing it in the perro position. And it's time for you to get some protection, all right? All right.

20:08🔗 Caller Well, my friend, we're going. We're supposed to be going up there to the GYN sometime.

20:14🔗 Adam You're going to the gyno?

20:16🔗 Caller Right.

20:16🔗 Adam All right. Get going.

20:17🔗 Drew Get that morning after pill. Keep it in your medicine cabinet.

20:20🔗 Adam He's got to use protection until then. You're going to get pregnant, you idiot.

20:23🔗 Drew Or else just get on the pill.

20:24🔗 Caller Se pongo un bosal.

20:25🔗 Adam All right? Yeah. All right.

20:27🔗 Drew Perito protection.

20:30🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what's going on in Mexico City, right? Not enough birth control. Too many people. Then you get crime, then you get smog, then you got to move. You got to move to the country.

20:43🔗 Caller Too many perito positions.

20:45🔗 Adam That's right. All right. We should hear something from Jaguares. What do you say? All right. This is off the Mission Impossible soundtrack, right, Ant? Is that the first one we're playing? Yeah. This one is called Gliding. We'll be gliding from Jaugares off of the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack. Jaugares is our guest tonight. We're going to take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to Michelle, whose 18-boyfriend made out with a stripper at a bachelor party. She wants to know if she should be mad. We'll explain why she shouldn't after this.

25:11🔗 You know what I'm saying, I'm there.

25:13🔗 Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

25:48🔗 Adam It's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-LVE-191. Alfonso and Saul are both here from Jaguares, and Drew apparently is out of cough, and he's about to throw hissy fit. You all right, Drew?

26:03🔗 Drew I was trying to catch Daniel's attention there.

26:05🔗 Adam All right. All right, you need some sort of, you need one of those buzzers that the teller presses with a foot when the holdup man comes in.

26:14🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

26:15🔗 Adam The red light goes off over Daniel's phone.

26:17🔗 Drew Actually, while I was sort of going through those machinations, I was thinking about the fact that there were demonstrations today, the Adam Carolla demonstrations.

26:26🔗 Adam There were a handful of unemployed actors who showed up at the KROQ studios this morning to demonstrate against me and some comments that I made against my own union, SAG and AFTRA, when I did the-

26:40🔗 Drew I actually support them. I actually support this issue.

26:43🔗 Adam Craig Kilbourne Show. Oh, who cares? That's my point.

26:46🔗 Drew Hey, well, you haven't even thought it through. You just don't like people whining. That's all.

26:48🔗 Adam I'm just- listen. Actors- here's the problem with actors. And anyone who knows any can identify with this. You have a very, very bad combination between incredibly inflated ego and a very wounded child, all in the same person. So you have total grandiosity meets a sort of hurt, crushed, insecure little being. And that combo is a horrible combination. I don't mind grandiose, inflated people-

27:26🔗 Drew Oh, wait a minute. Grands of people always have-

27:27🔗 Adam If they mean it. If they mean it.

27:29🔗 Drew They always have that in them.

27:29🔗 Adam There's a handful of guys out there who really can back it up, like myself, thank you, who I'm fine with. I enjoy those kind of people. Those are what you call colorful.

27:39🔗 Drew I call that sociopath.

27:41🔗 Adam But the actors, here's the combo. Grandiose meets wounded child meets tons of free time equals picketing and letter writing. They're on strike. I told them to get back to work, essentially, and quit their whining. And now they're all upset, writing me letters and picketing and so on and so forth.

28:00🔗 Drew Well, I'm going to cram if I'm wrong.

28:01🔗 Adam What?

28:01🔗 Drew For you. We have not discussed this, by the way.

28:03🔗 Adam Yes.

28:04🔗 Drew We're just excited for the first time right now. It was a joke.

28:06🔗 Adam What?

28:07🔗 Drew What you were saying.

28:08🔗 Adam Not really, no.

28:08🔗 Drew It was a joke.

28:09🔗 Adam What are you talking about?

28:11🔗 Drew You really don't care. You don't care either way.

28:13🔗 Adam I don't really care.

28:14🔗 Drew But it was a joke. No, not really. If it weren't a joke, you wouldn't have mentioned it.

28:20🔗 Adam Well, I said it because I was trying to get a laugh, but I do feel that way for the most part.

28:25🔗 Drew Yeah, but really you don't care.

28:26🔗 Adam No, I don't care.

28:27🔗 Drew Okay.

28:27🔗 Adam Listen, if somebody can get paid for a job that they do years after they've done it, more power to them. But I wouldn't cry about it. As I'd mentioned on Kilbourne, if I'm with a hooker, I don't have to give her 50 cents every time I whack off to her in years to come. I just pay her the 150 for the one time. And when I was a carpenter, when I built a deck on someone's house, I didn't get 10 bucks every time they threw a barbecue. They paid me for my day's work. I got my money and I went home. I didn't keep ringing them like a bar rag. Fine, get back to work. That's all I'm saying. Drew, I appreciate you trying to get me out of trouble by giving me the opportunity to say I was just kidding. And I am in the sense that I'm trying to get a laugh. And it's true, I don't care either way.

29:13🔗 Drew I know you don't care.

29:14🔗 Adam I know I don't care, but that's the funny thing about it.

29:16🔗 Drew And I actually would support them.

29:17🔗 Adam They want me to apologize for not caring.

29:19🔗 Drew You haven't thought it through. You don't even know if you care or not, but at this point you don't care.

29:23🔗 Adam I just don't care. All right, they should all get back to work. That's all I'm saying. Michelle?

29:27🔗 Yeah.

29:28🔗 Adam You're 18?

29:29🔗 Caller That's right.

29:30🔗 Adam What's up?

29:31🔗 Caller Okay. Well, I-

29:32🔗 Adam Hold on a second. You realize we're in a union, Drew, where the president of our union played the teacher from Boy Meets World. Do you understand what kind of insanity that is?

29:44🔗 Drew It's impressive.

29:45🔗 Adam All right. That's all I want you to know. How can you take that union seriously?

29:49🔗 Drew Ronald Reagan was the president of that union.

29:50🔗 Adam Michelle?

29:51🔗 Drew Oh, wait, Adam.

29:52🔗 Adam Uh-oh. Looks like some of Culver City's finest have slid into the building. Hope I didn't do anything wrong. Michelle?

29:59🔗 Drew Wait, maybe you can tell us something about the chase.

30:01🔗 Adam Oh, just leave me alone. Michelle, what's up?

30:04🔗 Caller Okay. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a little over two years now. He's a really good guy. He loves me a lot. I know that. He's a really good person.

30:15🔗 Drew All right. Stop convincing us. Just tell us what went on.

30:17🔗 Adam What did he do?

30:17🔗 Caller Okay.

30:17🔗 Adam Oh, he made out with the stripper?

30:19🔗 Drew No, no, no.

30:19🔗 Caller That's incorrect. He went to his friend's bachelor party, and the stripper was jumping around, putting whipped cream on her boobs, and sticking her chest into people's faces.

30:28🔗 Adam That whore.

30:29🔗 Caller And people were licking the whipped cream off of it.

30:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

30:32🔗 Caller Well, my guy did the same thing, and, you know, it really hurt me when he told me, and...

30:37🔗 Drew He told you?

30:38🔗 Caller Well, yeah, I asked him what happened, and he told me, well, she came, she did her little lap dance, and sh-t on my face also. And I said, well, did you also lick him, like everyone else did? And he's like, well, yeah. You know, it was just fun. It's not a big deal. I didn't...

30:52🔗 Adam Right. All right. So what do you care? Not a big deal. I know that... And he's the world's greatest guy.

30:57🔗 Caller Just the thought of it, it hurts. And it was really... I usually don't get upset with a lot of things. I don't let things bother me.

31:03🔗 Adam Oh, yes, you do. You let everything bother you. Where's daddy?

31:07🔗 Caller Daddy?

31:08🔗 Adam Yeah.

31:08🔗 Caller He's downstairs.

31:09🔗 Adam Yeah. You like him?

31:11🔗 Caller Uh, no.

31:12🔗 Adam Why not?

31:13🔗 Caller He's not the best father or husband.

31:15🔗 Adam Did he cheat on mommy?

31:17🔗 Caller No.

31:18🔗 Adam What'd he do? Why isn't he a good husband?

31:20🔗 Caller Uh, well, he forced my mom to have sex with him a lot, and so I kind of witnessed this as I was growing up.

31:32🔗 Adam Uh, well, now we're getting somewhere. So he raped your mom and you witnessed it?

31:36🔗 Caller Well, you know, I wasn't watching, but I heard and I knew what was going on.

31:40🔗 Adam All right. Well, that's kind of a pretty traumatic thing for a young girl, right?

31:44🔗 Caller Well, yeah, but... All right.

31:45🔗 Drew So those sorts of objectifying, demeaning, powerless, or disempowering situations can be really important to you.

31:54🔗 Adam All right. That's where it's coming from.

31:56🔗 Drew And for any woman, although Adam has no sense of this, this is a...

32:01🔗 Adam Well, I don't care. Same with the actors here.

32:02🔗 Drew You don't care, but it's a violation of trust, and it's sort of... It's gross.

32:06🔗 Adam No, your wife's listening.

32:07🔗 Drew No, no, no. I think... Listen, women are... Remember, they are a higher form of the species.

32:14🔗 Adam Yeah. They're so smart. Why do we run them around?

32:17🔗 Drew No, but because men, when they behave as they will, it's a real disappointment. It was a deflation. They're like, Oh, that's gross.

32:23🔗 Adam Okay. Let me say two things. Michelle has an energy in this department.

32:28🔗 Drew Oh, yes.

32:28🔗 Adam I felt it immediately. I tapped right into her daddy, and it turns out her daddy did horrible things to her mommy.

32:34🔗 Drew I'll give you that.

32:35🔗 Adam Any time a male interacts with somebody in her life, it's going to remind her of something. Yes, your boyfriend, who's the world's greatest guy, fine, leave it at that. He just did what everyone else does at a bachelor party. Big deal. This is what young guys do. You go in and get some therapy for what happened. I don't want to defend the guy, but this is something that guys do all the time. It's no big deal. Let it go. Get some therapy.

33:00🔗 Drew Have you been watching The Big Brother at all?

33:01🔗 Adam And number two. Hold on a second. It's interesting. I had a conversation about licking whipped cream off of boobs just before I left my house today on the way into the station.

33:13🔗 Drew Imagine that.

33:13🔗 Adam I talked to a friend of mine who's in Montreal, and he's up there for the comedy festival. He was an old roommate of mine. The first thing I said was, are you having a good time? How are the strip clubs? He said the strip clubs are great. Anything goes in Montreal. It's cheap. It's 10 Canadian, which is like six American dollars. But anything goes is great, except for you don't want to be licking some boob that some fat Canadian guy who'd had 16 molsons under his belt was suckling on five minutes earlier. I said, you're right. He said, yeah, you know me. When I go to the bathroom, I use a towel to open the door. I'm not going to be sucking on some hooker's boob.

33:51🔗 Drew Who is this?

33:52🔗 Adam This is Cordy. Oh my God. I said, that's right. I said, they should carry moist towelettes, wipe themselves down in between guys. Then I said, if I were a stripper, that'd be my name, moist towelette. I'd pass myself off as a Frenchman. I would say, my name is a moist towelette. To give everyone the feeling of cleanliness. You know how a name can sort of invoke certain feelings? Again, I'll pronounce it. Hello, ladies. My name is moist tollette. And I would pull one of those things right out of my fly. I'd have the dispenser in underneath my shorts, and they could keep pulling them out. Be like a clown. Like when all the clowns get in the car. Yeah. Moist tollette. That's a good name for a French stripper.

34:44🔗 Drew I want you to do me a favor. And this is not just for promotion purposes. The stripper on Big Brother is challenging our routine assessment of stripper and what puts them in that position.

34:55🔗 Adam I never heard of Big Brother.

34:58🔗 Drew It's a TV show. I was pretty much every night on CBS.

35:00🔗 Adam Cable?

35:00🔗 Drew Yes.

35:01🔗 Adam CBS? Oh, that's old people's channel. I don't watch it.

35:04🔗 Drew I have to analyze some of the stuff that's going on in that house.

35:06🔗 Adam You're on that show now?

35:07🔗 Drew Yeah, I'm on that show.

35:08🔗 Adam Boy, they're scraping the barrel.

35:09🔗 Drew Yes, they are indeed. Thank you for the interview.

35:11🔗 Adam What happened to Dr. Arlene or Dina Dell or one of the real TV doctors?

35:14🔗 Drew Not cool enough, I guess. But she is really interesting. I would just be interested in your thoughts if you tune in. It's like one night.

35:22🔗 Adam When's it on?

35:24🔗 Drew It's on pretty much every night at 8.

35:25🔗 Adam All right. Well, I usually don't watch a lot of TV.

35:28🔗 Drew Because this one is, because I think there's more going on.

35:30🔗 Adam Drew, you know I only watch six and a half hours of TV a day. So I don't always have time to squeeze new shows into my slots. Liz?

35:37🔗 Hi.

35:38🔗 Adam You're 20?

35:39🔗 Caller Yes.

35:40🔗 Adam What's up?

35:40🔗 Oh my God.

35:41🔗 Caller Saul?

35:44🔗 Caller Can you talk to Saul?

35:44🔗 Adam Yeah, here he is.

35:45🔗 Caller Hi. How are you? Oh my God. I'm such a big fan. I'm one of your biggest fans and I wish I could have been there in your concert on Saturday, but I couldn't get tickets.

35:54🔗 Adam At the pond?

35:56🔗 Caller I'm not sure exactly where it is.

35:57🔗 Drew Well, I wish you could get tickets.

35:59🔗 I couldn't get tickets.

36:01🔗 Caller Right.

36:01🔗 Adam Well, you're calling from LA though, right?

36:03🔗 Caller Right.

36:03🔗 Adam All right.

36:04🔗 Caller Right.

36:04🔗 Adam You got a question for Saul?

36:05🔗 Caller Yes. I wanted to know if you guys are going to make an English CT. I was turning on Loveline right now and I heard them and I'm like, what the hell is going on?

36:16🔗 Adam Oh, yes.

36:18🔗 Caller So I was just wondering if you're going to release an English.

36:22🔗 Caller Well, not now. First, I have to go to some Harmon Hall. Some classes. Yeah.

36:35🔗 Drew For lits for English.

36:36🔗 Caller The fact is that I don't think in English. I can't write in English. Yeah.

36:41🔗 Adam But hold on a second. I think in Spanish, thankfully. So here's the deal. Can't you just write the songs in Spanish and then translate them into English and then learn? I mean, you speak these in English? Yeah. Moisturlet. You can sing just phonetically. I mean, the Beatles had like Love Me Do in German or something. All bands do that all the time.

37:07🔗 Jaguares Horrible.

37:07🔗 Adam Okay. It sounds like crap. That's true. But you could do it.

37:11🔗 Jaguares Yeah. Why do it?

37:13🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

37:13🔗 Jaguares All right.

37:13🔗 Adam Well, maybe I have a point. Hey, Liz, I'm going to do a all French radio show coming up in a few months.

37:20🔗 Caller I will listen to it, Adam. You are so sexy. I go to sleep with it every night.

37:28🔗 Drew Every second night?

37:29🔗 Adam Every second night. You know what my French name is? It is Patrice Moist-Talette. Patrice first name, Moist middle name, and of course, Talette being my parents name. All right, Liz. Okay.

37:47🔗 Caller Best of luck to you guys.

37:49🔗 Caller Gracias. Hasta luego.

37:52🔗 Adam Dr. Drew, you speak French, do you not? Speak a little French. Send us to a commercial break in French.

38:03🔗 Drew I don't know how they do that.

38:04🔗 Adam No. Come on, you idiot. Say something in French.

38:07🔗 Drew Il faudra que nous partissons.

38:08🔗 Adam Say it again.

38:09🔗 Drew Il faudra que nous partissons.

38:12🔗 Adam What's that say?

38:12🔗 Drew We have to leave.

38:15🔗 Adam Say we'll be back with more Jaguares and Loveline after this.

38:20🔗 Drew Nous retourrons avec plus de Jaguares après cela.

38:25🔗 Caller Merci.

39:04🔗 Adam And that bra that is Dr. Drew over there.

39:06🔗 Drew What do you think about that strategy, though, of telling the Culver City PD, you do 65 down Culver?

39:11🔗 Adam Quite down. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Alfonso and Saul are here. They're from Jaguares. We'll hear something else from them before the night is through.

39:24🔗 Drew But first, we gotta finish this popcorn bucket scenario. People have waited till last night to hear this.

39:28🔗 Adam Okay, all right, here's the story. And I hope we're not boring the guys. This kind of humor crosses all international boundaries. It's what we call poop humor. There was a time in my life when I was sort of banished to the garage.

39:49🔗 Drew By an evil stepmother.

39:50🔗 Adam Yeah, my dad had a part of it, too.

39:52🔗 Drew Yeah, but we have not bashed your stepmother at all, ever.

39:55🔗 Adam Okay, we should bash her, too.

39:56🔗 Drew Your mother's got nailed, your mom's got nailed, you've never seen them.

39:58🔗 Adam As I've said to my family a thousand times, you guys rolled the dice and came up snake eyes when it came to me getting a radio show. My poor son of a bitch parents never thought I'd get myself a radio show, and now it's payback time. The whole nation can know what crappy parents they were. It's time for revenge. Yes. Those sons of bitches thought I'd be crawling under a house for the rest of my life and not telling anybody about what horrible parents they were. Well, now it's payback time. So I was forced, not forced, I lived out in the garage, which was sort of half converted into a room. No bathroom, no air conditioning, no heater, no nothing like that. But it was kind of a room. I lived out there when I was about 18, 19 years old. My stepmom was wanting me out of the house, which was ironic because I was already out of the goddamn house. I was in the garage. I was driving a beat up motorcycle and work in construction. I didn't go into the house. As a matter of fact, I couldn't get into the house. I get locked out of the house after a certain time in the evening, 9 or 10 o'clock. No. No, but my stepmom didn't like me too much. I wasn't crazy about her and I wouldn't go in the house and she'd lock me out of the house.

41:12🔗 Drew If you saw her in the window, you'd avoid, you'd wait till she walked into the other part of the house.

41:15🔗 Adam Of course. My dad is such a spineless wuss that he never, my dad is 100 percent pussy. 100 percent puss. He really is.

41:24🔗 Drew Point one.

41:25🔗 Adam Oh, he's just, he's one, if it went up to 101, that's what he would be. And he's so spineless, he never stood up to her, so she just bashed me around. So I was out in the garage and what I did was, and I've told Drew this story before, I had a bar of soap that I would keep by the hose in the back and I would shower, you know, it was during the summer. I was working construction. I'd come home, I'd be filthy dirty from digging all day and I would shower with the hose. And so Drew was saying, well, where did you pee? And I'd say out in the bushes. But last night, and I don't know why you wanted to go down this road, Drew, but last night you asked about number two. Where did you go number two?

42:07🔗 Drew Yeah, what did you do for that? Because you said there was no bathroom and you couldn't get in the house. I thought, what the hell is going on here?

42:12🔗 Adam All right, well, let me first qualify this statement before I explain where I went number two. A, it wasn't as if I ran home to cramp in a popcorn bucket. You understand?

42:23🔗 Drew I understand.

42:24🔗 Adam If I was at someone's house, I would use their toilet. You understand? If I was at the job site, I'd use the porta potty or what have you. And technically, I could use the bathroom indoor with the plumbing before, let's say, nine, ten o'clock at night.

42:38🔗 Drew Which you never did. You never went in the house.

42:39🔗 Adam Well, I was scared to go in there.

42:41🔗 Drew Yeah.

42:41🔗 Adam But at a certain point, if I was home and I had to go, my cousin, Vince and Pat Bruno, for Christmas earlier that year, they got me one of those big five-gallon tubs of popcorn, you know, the metal tins. They have a snap lid on them. You guys have seen those. They're decorative. They're all sectioned off. They got the caramel, the cheese, and the butter one. Well, after I was done with that, I was looking at it and I thought, hey, it's got a nice air-tight snap lid on it. It's sturdy construction and it's easy on the eyes. I mean, it has nice pictures of Santa Claus and Rudolph on the sides. Very festive. Very festive. So I told Drew much too. I think his and Anne's horror.

43:28🔗 Drew Well, Anne I think slept last night.

43:30🔗 Adam She was tossing and turning and thinking about the popcorn bucket I crapped in when I was 18. I told him I used to crap in the popcorn bucket. Yeah.

43:38🔗 Drew Yeah. Not just I did it.

43:40🔗 Adam Yeah.

43:41🔗 Drew But I did it and I emptied every three visits.

43:45🔗 Adam I think I may have said two, but yeah, could have been three. Hey, it had a snap lid. Hey, Drew, what the hell the pioneers do? Yeah.

43:54🔗 Drew They went somewhere a fair distance from where they slept, I suspect.

43:58🔗 No. No.

43:59🔗 Adam This was me against the elements, Drew.

44:01🔗 Drew It's amazing when a porta potty is like major, major luxury.

44:06🔗 Adam A porta potty to me was like Liberace's bathroom. It really was.

44:12🔗 Drew Oh, Ann, are you all right?

44:13🔗 Adam Yeah, snap a lid.

44:14🔗 Drew Ann, you okay recovering from the- okay.

44:16🔗 Adam All right.

44:16🔗 Drew She's okay.

44:16🔗 Adam All right. Are you done?

44:17🔗 Drew How would you dump it? We dump it in the pool or in what pool?

44:20🔗 Caller In the pool?

44:21🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I did. I don't know. I'd go out and hose it out or something.

44:26🔗 Drew You'd hose it out in the backyard.

44:28🔗 Adam It was my bathroom. What d'you want me to do? You'd just cramp on the floor. My buddy Ray did cramp on the floor once just as a joke, and my dad did walk in and find it, by the way. That was a good one. But by then, we were so far gone, it didn't matter anymore.

44:44🔗 Drew I swear to God, the chimpanzees have better hygiene.

44:47🔗 Adam Drew, what would you have done? What would you have done? I ask you. I'll ask Jaguares. What would you have done? You'd have to do it. What are your choices? You have no choices.

44:59🔗 Jaguares I don't know. Dig a hole, my god of choices.

45:02🔗 Adam Dig a hole? I couldn't dig a hole. My stepmom would have thrown me in it and buried me. It's seen as a golden grave opportunity.

45:12🔗 Caller You can buy big pumpers.

45:14🔗 Drew I don't blame you.

45:15🔗 Caller Big pumpers.

45:17🔗 Drew I blame her.

45:18🔗 Adam You blame my stepmom? Yeah. Well, she was bad. Yeah, no doubt about it. Michael?

45:24🔗 Yeah.

45:25🔗 Adam You're 30?

45:26🔗 Caller Yes.

45:27🔗 Adam What's up?

45:28🔗 Caller How's it going?

45:29🔗 Adam Good.

45:30🔗 Caller I had a question regarding heroin. I started the use of it about nine years ago and I was smoking it. And what the effects of aluminum foil have on your body, because I've heard of Alzheimer's and different things that...

45:50🔗 Drew Are you off to heroin now?

45:51🔗 Caller Yes, I am. You're in recovery.

45:55🔗 Adam How many people smoke heroin these days?

45:58🔗 Drew It's probably a little less common right now, but it was going through a big, big resurgence for the last couple of years.

46:03🔗 Adam Really?

46:04🔗 Caller It's actually not that common at all. Most people either snorted or injected.

46:08🔗 Adam Thank you very much.

46:09🔗 Drew I was dealing with a lot of people who smoked it for a while.

46:11🔗 Adam You saw two guys in eight years who did it.

46:13🔗 Drew No, no, no. For a while, particularly college people, college age, I'm just smoking.

46:18🔗 Adam What's the best way to smoke it?

46:21🔗 Caller Well, you put it on aluminum foil and you let it drip down, and the smoke comes up and you suck it in.

46:27🔗 Adam What do you mean you let it drip down?

46:28🔗 Caller Well, it melts down the foil. It's called chasing the dragon.

46:32🔗 Adam Oh, it melts the foil. I mean, it has a kind of a drip.

46:34🔗 Caller Well, the foil doesn't melt, but the heroin on the foil melts down. It makes like a trail.

46:40🔗 Adam After you put a flame under it, right?

46:42🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, exactly.

46:44🔗 Adam You put it on the foil and it drips down. Isn't that a great explanation? You got to get the fire worked in there. Yeah?

46:50🔗 Caller In California, it's black tar on the west coast. It's black tar heroin on the east coast. You got China White.

46:57🔗 Drew There's no evidence that I know of that anything significant happens with that kind of aluminum exposure, if any aluminum exposure is significant.

47:03🔗 Adam All right, Michael? If it makes you feel any better, I've smoked a pot out of a Coke can many a time.

47:09🔗 Drew The Alzheimer connection is very weak, very weak. There are plenty of people walking on extraordinarily high aluminum levels, even to the point of having their bones chelated with aluminum that weakens their bones, all kinds of things can go on. Those people do not get dementia.

47:22🔗 Adam Yeah. This was something that was talked about some years ago, and then it was sort of disproved a little bit. Is it back?

47:31🔗 Drew It's back and forth. It's the fact that there's aluminum depositions in these scars that basically form in the process of Alzheimer's. It doesn't have anything to do with causation.

47:40🔗 Adam Dr. Drew, you were more exciting to the listeners when you were speaking in French. You understand? All right. Jaguares is our guest tonight. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak. Drew, start doing your job here.

47:54🔗 Drew I would wait.

47:55🔗 Adam No, please.

47:56🔗 Drew Talk to you about the band.

47:57🔗 Adam No, come on. You got to give me a good but question. That's a horrible question. All right. We'll be back with a good one after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Number 1-800-LOVE-191. We're here with Jaguares. Jaguares has sold themselves over a million of the albums that are currently out. Their latest album, which is something we'll hear something from sometime in this hour, 5 million over their career, doing all right. We have Alfonso and Saul here from the band. I think this is their third time here. That's what I'm going with. Drew, you with me on that one?

49:22🔗 Drew Third time.

49:23🔗 Adam All right. Saul thinks two, but I say three. Or we say Trace.

49:29🔗 Caller La Tercera Vez.

49:30🔗 Adam That's right. Priscilla. Priscilla.

49:34🔗 Drew Sleep.

49:35🔗 Adam Really? Oh, she's been on hold for 84 minutes. Almost an hour and a half. Priscilla.

49:41🔗 Yeah.

49:42🔗 Adam Hey, there you go, baby. You're 17. What's up?

49:44🔗 Caller Hi. Well, I lost my virginity like four months ago. And like a month and a half or two months after that, I like started getting these fainting spells. Like I was like out in the middle of the parking lot and I just like fainted right there. And I've done it four times. What's up with that?

50:00🔗 Drew Have you been evaluated for it?

50:02🔗 Caller Well, they took me to the hospital the first time. They did a bunch of tests and they didn't find nothing.

50:07🔗 Drew I suspect that the fact that you lost your virginity two months prior is sort of a spurious association. There is nothing causative about that.

50:19🔗 Adam What do you think the chances of young Priscilla knowing what spurious or causative means?

50:26🔗 Caller None.

50:28🔗 Adam Spurious is like, it's, I'm trying to think of how to describe what that word means. It means neither here nor there. It's like as if you'd said, I was late for work. If you told your boss you were late to work because your toaster broke.

50:45🔗 Drew Not significant.

50:46🔗 Adam Right. Probably not a factor. Probably. So I know you're putting those two things together, but they're probably not connected.

50:55🔗 Caller Okay.

50:55🔗 Adam So.

50:56🔗 Drew Are you on medication or anything?

50:58🔗 Caller No. Not lately.

50:59🔗 Drew Are you on any medication?

51:01🔗 Caller No. I know.

51:02🔗 Adam And what did they say when you got the test?

51:05🔗 Caller They didn't say anything really. They like, actually I only saw the doctor once and he said it was going to run some tests and some x-rays and I didn't see him again after that and they just released me from my hospital.

51:16🔗 Drew Were you on medication at the time you passed out?

51:19🔗 Caller No.

51:19🔗 Adam Okay. Well why don't you follow it back up again?

51:22🔗 Drew Had you been recently stopped on some medication at that point?

51:26🔗 Caller No. I was like, no. It was like three months prior to that when I stopped.

51:33🔗 Adam What medication?

51:35🔗 Caller Just like naproxen.

51:37🔗 Adam Just like naproxen?

51:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

51:39🔗 Adam Okay. Thanks for having us have to ring you to get that piece of information out of you and devote half the show to it, Priscilla. We appreciate it.

51:48🔗 Caller Oh, okay.

51:49🔗 Adam I hate Priscilla. I don't know why. Do you guys hate her too? I don't like her at all. Why do I dislike her so much?

51:56🔗 Drew There's a hostility running underneath.

51:57🔗 Adam There is? Is that what that is? I hate asking the same idiot the same question 10 times, which is what we do on this show. All right. Drew, what should she do?

52:07🔗 Drew Follow through with her usual doctors. See if you had appropriate work up, she can finish. There's literally dozens and maybe even hundreds of different causes of this, most of which are not significant.

52:15🔗 Adam Not losing the virginity. Now, you lose your virginity, your dad faints, right? But not you.

52:20🔗 Drew Is that how it works? Sometimes your mom, sometimes your grandma.

52:23🔗 Adam That's right. That's right. And often another side effect of a virginity is a deceased grandparent could roll over in his or her grave.

52:30🔗 Drew You've heard of that.

52:31🔗 Adam Yes, I have actually seen that. I remember-

52:33🔗 Drew Sometimes the forefathers.

52:34🔗 Adam When my sister lost her virginity, my grandmother from Philadelphia who died five, six years prior to my sister losing virginity- Spun over in her grave. I remember hearing the creaking. She was a large woman and we had her buried in the basement of the house. Brian?

52:51🔗 Hi.

52:51🔗 Adam You're 16. What's up?

52:53🔗 Caller First of all, I just want to say that I saw you on the Perry Kilburn show. Hilarious.

52:58🔗 Adam Thank you, Brian. Thanks for causing more trouble.

53:01🔗 Drew The Screen Actors Guild thinks it was hilarious too. They're still laughing.

53:04🔗 Adam All right. Go ahead there, Brian.

53:07🔗 Caller Well, my problem is that every once in a while, I just have these bouts of depression. The only last usually a day or two, and I was just wondering what was causing them.

53:17🔗 Drew Puberty.

53:17🔗 Adam Yeah. You're 16. What happens? You have a little trouble motivating during those days?

53:22🔗 Caller Yeah. My dad just said, what's going on? You seem like down in the dumps. It's just like it only lasts a day or two, and then I feel better.

53:32🔗 Drew Certain amount of that is normal. You keep an eye on it, take care of yourself. Don't ignore these feelings and certainly don't keep them to yourself if they start getting really severe. But consider what things might be contributing to you following these depressive episodes.

53:47🔗 Adam Go on a walk.

53:48🔗 Drew Yeah. Get act shy and stay focused on doing things that are good for you and you want to do. But know that at 16, the biology is, tends to set people in this spiraling depression.

53:58🔗 Adam I think more people get depressed in this country.

54:01🔗 Drew Then where?

54:02🔗 Adam Mexico. The rest of the world.

54:07🔗 Drew Too much free time?

54:08🔗 Adam Yeah. You know what I think happens to Americans is, we have it pretty good. We're used to things being pretty good. When we don't feel good, it's a big deal. Yeah. If something goes wrong, it's a big deal. If you take a look at other countries and most of the rest of the world, survival, day-to-day struggle.

54:30🔗 Drew Big deal.

54:31🔗 Adam You don't really have time for depression. Or maybe your whole life is depressed and you don't notice it.

54:36🔗 Drew I think the other thing.

54:37🔗 Adam Do they get depressed in Mexico?

54:38🔗 Caller No. Also, it's like, everything is settled.

54:42🔗 Caller Everything has to be fine.

54:44🔗 Caller Everything has to be good.

54:46🔗 Jaguares Everything has to be all right.

54:47🔗 Drew I think also in this country, our family systems are so screwed.

54:51🔗 Caller So systematic situation here.

54:54🔗 Drew The whole system?

54:54🔗 Caller Yeah, the whole system. They have to be online. If it's a little broke, you are in trouble. It's a disaster. We've grown up with no line. I mean, it's a different idiosyncrasy.

55:09🔗 Adam You're saying in Mexico, they do or don't have all this health care and all this stuff?

55:15🔗 Jaguares No, he's talking about the way people here are more like, how a direction, everything has to be a certain way.

55:23🔗 Adam Right.

55:24🔗 Jaguares In Mexico, it's more chaotic. I think that's what he was trying to say.

55:29🔗 Caller You mean? Sort of.

55:31🔗 Adam We mean like, here it's like, get an education, get your degree, graduate from college, become a lawyer. I mean, there's a lot of pressure. A lot of kids are forced in a direction. Whereas other parts of the world, it's maybe a little, well, except for like Japan and maybe China.

55:51🔗 Caller Big problem.

55:52🔗 Adam Yeah. But I bet they're pretty depressed over there. You know what I mean? Listen, I just came back from Jamaica. No one's depressed over there. They're just high and their motto is just-

56:05🔗 Drew Hang loose.

56:06🔗 Adam Yeah. No, it's not hang loose. Those are the Hawaiians, or by the way, also high and happy. Yeah. The more pot that seems to be in the culture, in the closer the beach, the less the depression. Now, here's Jamaica's. No problem, man. I mean, we're just a bunch of white guys from Hollywood. It's like, when's the flight? Where's it? No problem. It's just everything. It's just no problem. Just have a drag off a joint. No problem. Take your shoes off.

56:34🔗 Drew But I think here, our connections, the family systems are so weak and so poor that we don't have the usual internal resources and family resources to make ourselves feel better.

56:44🔗 Caller Isolation.

56:45🔗 Drew Isolation, disconnect, lack of development emotionally. I've traveled a little bit in Mexico and I remember seeing, although I'll see lots of poverty, lots of happiness. The family is together, doing things. I mean, they don't have anything but happy.

57:01🔗 Jaguares That's true. I mean, the unity of the family there is so important.

57:04🔗 Drew Very tight.

57:04🔗 Adam And here it's like, Well, you got 40 people in one room. You better be tight. I can't go to my parents' house and be happy.

57:13🔗 Drew I saw circumstance after circumstance in that country where people would have been, oh my God, lamenting that anybody could live like that. They're fine.

57:21🔗 Adam They're just fine. Put it this way. The overwhelming majority of Americans between the age of 15 and 40, look at their parents as a pain in the ass. And Drew, I know I not only speak from personal experience, but I know you have certain feelings about your parents. You don't want to go camping with them, do you?

57:43🔗 Drew No, no camping.

57:44🔗 Adam I mean, you go over there twice a year, Easter and Thanksgiving, you've had an ass full, right? Could you imagine moving back home or something like that?

57:53🔗 Drew Right.

57:53🔗 Adam All right, so here's the point. In what other country does the average adult look at their sort of aging parents as a pain in the ass? I think only the United States, and that's why this is the greatest country in the world. Don't ever forget it. We not only neglect the elderly, we abuse them. Oh, boy, what is that?

58:16🔗 Caller Rojelio.

58:16🔗 Adam Rojelio.

58:18🔗 Caller Yeah, what's up?

58:18🔗 Adam Hey, you're 26. What's up?

58:21🔗 Caller I have a question for her. What is actually for Seúl and Alfonso?

58:24🔗 Adam Great.

58:25🔗 Caller Is that all right?

58:26🔗 Adam Yeah, go ahead.

58:27🔗 Caller All right. Cómo están, compas?

58:28🔗 Adam Bien, muy bien. Y tú?

58:29🔗 Caller Muy bien. Gracias, gracias.

58:31🔗 Adam Okay, they said, how are you? And he said, fine. Okay, Drew?

58:33🔗 Caller I got it.

58:34🔗 Caller Okay.

58:36🔗 Caller My question. One of my favorite songs, Las Ratas No Tienen Alas, what is the meaning? What's the significado behind that? What is that about?

58:47🔗 Caller Es una crítica al gobierno, al sistema político.

58:50🔗 Jaguares Criticism to the system, the political system in Mexico.

58:54🔗 Caller De traición.

58:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:56🔗 Jaguares Talks about betrayal.

58:59🔗 Caller Y bueno, like rats, como ratas, pues no, no pueden volar.

59:04🔗 Drew Is that why you guys don't trust the new system that's in? You just figure it's more of the same?

59:07🔗 Caller Well, that song was wrote in the old system.

59:12🔗 Caller But I don't know what is going to happen in the new system.

59:16🔗 Caller Maybe we have to write like the new rats also doesn't have wings. I don't know.

59:22🔗 Adam You have any other questions for Jaguares?

59:26🔗 Caller Not so much questions. Just wanted to say muchas gracias for your inspiration. Because of you guys, I play the drums now, and I also write poetry, thanks to Alfonso and Saúl and Lomás.

59:38🔗 Long live Jaguares and Rock.

59:40🔗 Caller Muchas gracias Rogelio.

59:41🔗 Adam Thank you Rogelio.

59:42🔗 Caller Thank you.

59:43🔗 Adam Take care of yourself there. All right. Is that a common name? I never heard that name.

59:48🔗 Jaguares Rogelio. In Mexico it is common.

59:51🔗 Adam Really? Name one famous Rogelio in the big leagues.

59:56🔗 Drew Rogelio Gonzalez.

59:57🔗 Caller In baseball.

1:00:00🔗 Adam Nice try. Alfonso. Now, there's a name. Stacey?

1:00:05🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:06🔗 Adam You're 15?

1:00:07🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:00:07🔗 Adam What's up?

1:00:09🔗 Caller I was wondering how I should tell my parents that I'm choosing to become sexually active.

1:00:15🔗 Drew The way you asked that made us suspicious already.

1:00:18🔗 Adam Yeah. Why do you want to have that talk with them?

1:00:22🔗 Caller Because I want to be honest with them.

1:00:25🔗 Caller Why?

1:00:27🔗 Drew Why is that important if that's something you're choosing to do? Not that I object to. I think it's a great idea, but just sort of the energy behind it doesn't sound right to me.

1:00:39🔗 Caller Because my parents have always told me that if I decide to do anything, I can tell them and that they can get me birth control and condoms and protection.

1:00:50🔗 Caller All right.

1:00:51🔗 Drew That doesn't sound too bad. Have they otherwise been sort of energetic in their attempts to educate you about the harms and the ill of sexual activity?

1:01:04🔗 Caller I don't know. I just want to know how I should bring the topic up.

1:01:08🔗 Drew Ask the question again.

1:01:09🔗 Adam All right. Hold on. Stacey, we're just trying to figure out what the motivation is. You love your parents?

1:01:15🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:01:16🔗 Adam That didn't sound like a ringing endorsement. Do you love your parents?

1:01:21🔗 Caller For the most part.

1:01:22🔗 Adam All right. So you're mad at them for some reason?

1:01:25🔗 Drew Where have they been a pain in the ass?

1:01:30🔗 Caller I don't really know.

1:01:31🔗 Caller It's just-

1:01:33🔗 Caller What?

1:01:34🔗 Caller My stepmom is kind of-

1:01:39🔗 Adam Makes you crap in a popcorn tin? Is that what happened? Honey, I feel your pain.

1:01:44🔗 Caller My stepmom is just kind of-

1:01:46🔗 Adam Who knows what the long-term medical repercussions of me sitting on that sharp metal rim were for so many months.

1:01:52🔗 Drew You sit around letting your farts now is probably the only way to amuse yourself.

1:01:55🔗 Adam That's right. It's my way of coping. Stacey, who are you mad at? Your dad or your stepmom? Who are you angry at? Is that dad?

1:02:11🔗 Caller Okay.

1:02:12🔗 Adam Stacey, you want me to tell him? We'll tell him right now.

1:02:15🔗 Caller Okay.

1:02:17🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:02:18🔗 Caller Oops.

1:02:19🔗 Adam Stacey? Yeah. You just missed the golden opportunity. Drew could have really had a sit down with dad.

1:02:24🔗 Caller No.

1:02:25🔗 Adam Oh, I thought you wanted to tell him. Listen, if Drew says it's okay, it's okay. He'll go out and get your male prostitute if Drew says okay. So Stacey, who are you mad at? Your stepmom or your dad?

1:02:39🔗 Drew Or your real mom?

1:02:40🔗 Adam Or your real mom?

1:02:43🔗 Caller My real mom.

1:02:44🔗 Drew Why are you mad at her?

1:02:45🔗 Adam What did she do? Abandon you and leave you with the evil stepmom?

1:02:50🔗 Caller It's a long story.

1:02:51🔗 Adam Okay. Well, see you. Let's just move on. Cecilia? Yes? Listen, I don't want to sit there and play 20 questions with some prepudescent teen. Screw you. I don't want to sit there and drag her. Well, I mean, screw you. Go ahead. Half sacks. Tell your dad. Here's what we do. Write it in shaving cream on the mirror. I'm getting late.

1:03:15🔗 Drew All right. The point is, though... We'll see you in the morning. Your choice in doing this is driven by your desire to get back at your mom.

1:03:21🔗 Adam Of course. I mean, okay, listen, let's just talk about this for a second. Here's what I've learned on my five years here at Loveline. People think the truth is very noble, and you can never go wrong if you tell the truth. And we put a lot of emphasis on this as a society. And whenever you talk about founding fathers or noblemen or gentlemen, it's always talking about integrity and truth. But when people tell people the truth, I found on this show, they have less than philanthropic reasons for doing it.

1:03:57🔗 Drew Let's put it this way. When adolescents tell their parents and partners, male, female, or male, male partners tell each other something, there's motivation. It's not the truth. It's motivating.

1:04:06🔗 Adam Right. So she wanted to tell her parents she was going to become sexually active, which sounds great. And we questioned her and she said, well, they always said, come to us first, and we'll get you on birth control and we'll get you condoms. But it still sounded a little suspicious. And as we scratch beneath the surface, it turns out she's angry and it's ready to sort of screw you time for mom. And listen, especially women. Women are very vengeful, spiteful creatures, they really are. Men would be, but they're fixated with their penis and they have sports, and they're basically busy running the country. Women have plenty of time to sort of plot and scheme. They're like mad scientists, all women. All women have a little mad scientist in them, you know? And that's where the problem comes in relationships. Men don't know what's going on. They're too busy going to work and rooting for the Dodgers. And women are down, they're hard at work in the lab. They really are. So here's what I'm saying. All you people that have young daughters especially, don't screw with them. They will screw with you one day. You're a dad, you don't pay attention to your young daughter. You drink a little too much. You physically abuse her. Don't worry. It'll be payback time soon. She'll become a prostitute. She'll do a couple of porn movies. You're going to have a good time going back to work at the plant with all the guys on the assembly line who have a couple of porn tapes starring your daughter. There will be payback time.

1:05:38🔗 Caller They can make a business together.

1:05:40🔗 Adam They certainly can. And she's 15 and it's time to pay them back. So if I was, what the hell was her name? Miss Bitterman? She should just sit on that. Don't get pregnant. Get your birth control. But when you tell your parents, tell them because you want to tell them.

1:05:56🔗 Drew Because you want to share it.

1:05:57🔗 Adam Because you want to share it, not because it's payback time. Cecilia? You're 20. What's up?

1:06:03🔗 Caller Okay.

1:06:04🔗 I have a question for Los Jaguares.

1:06:06🔗 Adam All right.

1:06:07🔗 Caller Okay.

1:06:07🔗 I just want to know, qué significa el symbol que tienes en el primero CD?

1:06:12🔗 Caller Perdón?

1:06:13🔗 El symbol.

1:06:14🔗 Drew The symbol in your first CD.

1:06:15🔗 Caller Ah, the symbol. Es un cazador. It's a hunter.

1:06:20🔗 Adam What?

1:06:21🔗 Jaguares A hunter.

1:06:23🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

1:06:24🔗 Jaguares The symbol.

1:06:25🔗 Caller De la época.

1:06:26🔗 Adam Right. The one I don't have in front of me. That's right.

1:06:28🔗 Caller Pero hispanica.

1:06:29🔗 Adam Right. I think we got into that one time.

1:06:32🔗 Jaguares Yeah. This thing.

1:06:34🔗 Adam The logo, the Jaguares. If Jaguares was a baseball team, this is what would be on their hat.

1:06:40🔗 Jaguares Yes.

1:06:40🔗 Adam Right.

1:06:41🔗 I have another question.

1:06:42🔗 Adam I'll tell you what it means in Spanish. Pot plant. That's what this thing looks like.

1:06:47🔗 Caller It's a hunter. Come on.

1:06:48🔗 Adam It's a hunter. Right. The guy's hunting for pot plants. You see the character?

1:06:53🔗 Caller For a joint.

1:06:54🔗 Adam What else?

1:06:55🔗 Drew It looks like a Dr. Seuss character.

1:06:56🔗 When are they going to be touring in Tijuana?

1:06:59🔗 Caller Ah, well, next year. Probably.

1:07:02🔗 Caller Because now we're on vacation.

1:07:06🔗 Adam Oh, yes. Are you going to play Tijuana? Yeah.

1:07:11🔗 Caller Next year.

1:07:12🔗 Adam Where do you play in Tijuana? Can I play that highlight?

1:07:15🔗 Caller No, we play in the theater.

1:07:18🔗 Jaguares No, there's a bullfight ring that we play there.

1:07:21🔗 Caller And a big...

1:07:24🔗 Adam You guys know Tijuana well?

1:07:26🔗 Caller No, it's great.

1:07:27🔗 Adam Yeah, it's great.

1:07:28🔗 Caller Tijuana's great.

1:07:29🔗 Adam Avenue and Tijuana Tilly's, and what's my... The Unicorn Bar. That's a good nudie bar. Underneath Revolution Avenue, guys perform oral sex on women on stage.

1:07:44🔗 Drew Guys, like for the audience?

1:07:45🔗 Adam Yes, these are our professionals. These are drunken Marines.

1:07:49🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:07:50🔗 Adam Well, at least that's how it went when I was younger.

1:07:53🔗 Jaguares It's a heavy place.

1:07:54🔗 Adam It's a good time, though. Yeah, you know, the thing about...

1:07:57🔗 Drew Enjoy.

1:07:57🔗 Adam No, you hang out in Tijuana for a little while, and then you go to Ensenada. It's boring. Tijuana or Rosarito or something.

1:08:03🔗 Caller Some of the parents I was talking about can go to Tijuana to give themselves a role so they can see what can happen.

1:08:09🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:08:11🔗 Jaguares Those parents can go and check out what could happen. Yeah.

1:08:14🔗 Adam Yes, that's right. All you bad fathers, go to Tijuana. See where your daughter's first place of employment will be. Lorena?

1:08:24🔗 Yes.

1:08:24🔗 Adam You're 22?

1:08:25🔗 Drew Good times.

1:08:26🔗 Yes, I am.

1:08:27🔗 Adam What's up?

1:08:29🔗 I have a question for Saúl, or actually I want to tell Saúl something.

1:08:32🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

1:08:34🔗 Saúl, hi, my name is Lorena. I just wanted to let you know that I am from here. I was born here. I really got into your music a couple years ago. I do not speak the language at all. I love everything about Hahuatis. I've been to every single one of your concerts. In the past two years, every single one of them, all the way to Vegas, going to Chicago, I just want to let you know that you don't know what you do to the local scene that's out here, the local rock scene. I'm involved with a lot of local rock bands.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Where are you?

1:09:03🔗 I live in Covina.

1:09:05🔗 Adam Where?

1:09:05🔗 Caller I live in Covina.

1:09:06🔗 Adam Oh, Covina.

1:09:07🔗 Caller Yeah, in Covina. It's like 20 minutes from LA.

1:09:10🔗 Caller But everywhere I go is in LA.

1:09:12🔗 Adam Covina is a Spanish word meaning crap hole. Oh, God.

1:09:16🔗 Caller Don't leave my field alone.

1:09:17🔗 Adam It's very true. It's true. So we'll dump that Covina.

1:09:20🔗 Drew Only to be exceeded by West Covina.

1:09:22🔗 Caller Your major fans are right outside the building.

1:09:26🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:09:26🔗 Adam Wow.

1:09:27🔗 Caller And we love you.

1:09:29🔗 Caller Thank you.

1:09:30🔗 Adam Where are you? Hold on. What do you got going on?

1:09:32🔗 Caller You have a party there?

1:09:33🔗 Caller I have pizza here. You guys want some?

1:09:34🔗 Caller I ordered some.

1:09:35🔗 Drew What kind of place you in?

1:09:36🔗 Caller What was that?

1:09:37🔗 Drew Where are you? What kind of place are you in?

1:09:39🔗 Caller What kind of place?

1:09:40🔗 Adam The parking lot. Hold on.

1:09:41🔗 Drew Wait a minute. Is it a restaurant?

1:09:44🔗 Adam I like the band, but their fans aren't real smart.

1:09:46🔗 Drew Wait, let's try again. Is there you in a phone booth?

1:09:48🔗 Adam Where are you?

1:09:49🔗 Caller No, I'm on my cell phone.

1:09:50🔗 Caller I'm wasting like...

1:09:52🔗 Caller Wait.

1:09:53🔗 Drew Where are you?

1:09:54🔗 Caller We're right out front. Look out your door.

1:09:59🔗 Adam They're here. They're not in Covina.

1:10:00🔗 Drew Okay.

1:10:01🔗 Adam All right.

1:10:02🔗 Caller Please. I'm in Culver City right now.

1:10:04🔗 Adam All right. Listen.

1:10:05🔗 Drew Okay.

1:10:06🔗 Adam Let's get the Culver City PD back here.

1:10:08🔗 Drew Please.

1:10:09🔗 Adam Fire a couple of concussion grenades into the crowd. They'll scatter. Drew, you cover me. I'll make a break for my car, right?

1:10:15🔗 Drew I'm ready. And go.

1:10:18🔗 Adam No, I saw them all. They're all out here on the parking lot by the van. All right.

1:10:23🔗 Drew Listen, those are all people picketing your Let's go say hi to them. All right.

1:10:27🔗 Adam I'm going to do that. Hold on a second.

1:10:29🔗 Drew Lorena.

1:10:29🔗 Adam Hey, Lorena.

1:10:31🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm here.

1:10:31🔗 Adam Do you have any food?

1:10:32🔗 Caller Yes. We have pizza.

1:10:33🔗 Adam Oh, do you? What kind?

1:10:35🔗 Caller We have pepperoni and pineapple.

1:10:37🔗 Adam Pineapple. Hey, settle down. Settle down.

1:10:40🔗 Caller We have pepperoni and ham and ham sausage and ham.

1:10:44🔗 Adam Do you have thin crust?

1:10:46🔗 Caller What?

1:10:46🔗 Adam Is it thin crust?

1:10:48🔗 Caller Yes, it's thin crust.

1:10:48🔗 Adam Okay, I'll be there in a minute. Okay, he's going to be here with you. The band isn't coming. I'm coming.

1:10:56🔗 Caller He's going for the pizza.

1:10:57🔗 Adam Are you talking to those guys? Huh? Who do you want to say hi to?

1:11:01🔗 Caller I want to say hi to the Cure and the Adels.

1:11:03🔗 Caller I want to say hi to Neva Lim.

1:11:05🔗 Caller I want to say hi to you.

1:11:06🔗 Adam All right, all right. It's not American bandstand. All right, now don't anyone do anything weird to that pizza. I'm coming out there right now.

1:11:12🔗 Caller Okay, come get pizza.

1:11:13🔗 Adam All right, we'll see you in a second. All right, I'm going to be back with some tainted pizza. And Jaguares after this.

1:11:19🔗 Hello, this is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:11:57🔗 Adam Yeah, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Alfonso and Saul are both here from Jaguares. They have rambunctious fans that they've camped out in the parking lot, and I just went out there and ate myself a nice slice of pizza, and so did Engineer Anderson. We're keeping it real here. I've said it many a time, somebody sent some homemade popcorn balls over here. I ate three of them the other night.

1:12:24🔗 Drew They were awful.

1:12:25🔗 Adam I still ate three of them. My point is is-

1:12:28🔗 Jaguares Do you like popcorn, huh?

1:12:30🔗 Adam My point is is if someone sent me anything, even if it looks like they made it in their driveway, I would eat it. I'm a man of the people, right, Drew?

1:12:40🔗 Drew Did you?

1:12:40🔗 Adam That is.

1:12:40🔗 Drew When you're hungry.

1:12:41🔗 Adam You understand? There's other B slash C celebrities that would never do that. They would have someone taste it for them. They would think it was poison. Not me. I trust the people. Anyway, you guys gotta go out there and say hi to those people at some point.

1:12:57🔗 Caller We already did.

1:12:58🔗 Adam They already did?

1:12:59🔗 Caller Yeah, we'd take pictures.

1:13:00🔗 Adam Yeah, they want to see you again.

1:13:01🔗 Caller A lot of things we do before we eat.

1:13:04🔗 Drew They own Adam now. They've given him pizzas.

1:13:05🔗 Adam They're all wearing the Jaguars shirts. One girl has the tattoo of the Jaguars, the pot plant symbol on the back of her neck. Yeah, that's love. Drew has a cheap trick tattoo on his back, but that was many years ago.

1:13:21🔗 Drew Yeah, this is Dr. Sue's character.

1:13:23🔗 Adam I see. Yeah, that's very, very clever, Drew. Fernando?

1:13:27🔗 Hey, what's up? How's it going?

1:13:28🔗 Adam You're 18?

1:13:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:30🔗 Adam What's up?

1:13:31🔗 Caller I have a question for Jaugares first.

1:13:32🔗 Adam All right.

1:13:33🔗 Caller How are you?

1:13:35🔗 Drew Bien, bien.

1:13:36🔗 Caller I was wondering...

1:13:37🔗 Adam Said good, good.

1:13:39🔗 Caller I was wondering if you guys are going to come up north to Oakland or San Francisco maybe next year?

1:13:45🔗 Jaguares We will.

1:13:46🔗 Caller Cool, cool.

1:13:48🔗 Adam Where is the biggest for you guys in the States? Los Angeles?

1:13:51🔗 Jaguares Here in the States, I guess, around the area of Los Angeles.

1:13:56🔗 Adam What is second? Chicago? New York?

1:13:58🔗 Jaguares Chicago is very big.

1:13:59🔗 Adam Oh, Texas, yeah. Yeah, I can see that being a good place.

1:14:02🔗 Jaguares Chicago, I think, is the second one.

1:14:04🔗 Adam Oh, really? Over Texas?

1:14:06🔗 Drew That's interesting.

1:14:07🔗 Caller And I also have another question.

1:14:08🔗 Adam What the hell are they getting over there, Dr. Ryan?

1:14:09🔗 Drew Fernando, go ahead.

1:14:11🔗 Caller Yeah. I just want to thank you guys, Adam and Dr. Drew, for you guys having a great show. I know it must be hard for you sometimes for, like, getting all the weird people, but it's really good that we have people like you.

1:14:22🔗 Adam Oh, thanks.

1:14:22🔗 Caller And give advice.

1:14:23🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:14:24🔗 Caller And I love the man show. You're great. I think you should adopt that little kid, the little Cub Scout kid.

1:14:28🔗 Adam Oh, yes. Aaron, the man show boy.

1:14:31🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. You gotta adopt that kid. I mean, you should be your kid right there, man.

1:14:36🔗 Drew His mom would appreciate that.

1:14:37🔗 Adam Thanks, Fernando. He's homeschooled, by the way. So it's nice for him to get out of the house and do a little man show bit. This is in reference to Aaron, the man show boy who we have go out into our bidding for us.

1:14:51🔗 Drew So I'm yesterday trying to get somebody to buy a beer for him outside of a lift.

1:14:54🔗 Adam Yeah, that was my idea.

1:14:55🔗 Drew Come on, don't be such a pussy.

1:14:57🔗 Adam It was great. We took this 11-year-old kid who's about 200 pounds. He's a big boy, but he's short and he's lily white. He wears a Cub Scout uniform and we sent him out to try to buy beer, try to get someone to buy a beer. Lo and behold, a guy eventually did buy him beer, was not set up. It was great. He was like, what do you want? He was like, six pack or 12 pack? The thing was funny is the guy was in a rush. It was funny. Let's go. Okay, what do you want? You want to know if you want it domestic or imported? What is the legal drinking age in Mexico? 18? Do they have one?

1:15:37🔗 Jaguares Yes, 18.

1:15:38🔗 Adam How is it enforced? I mean, when you were 15, could you go to the liquor store?

1:15:44🔗 Jaguares You cannot buy cigarettes or booze, but I guess you can.

1:15:49🔗 Adam Right.

1:15:49🔗 Jaguares It's the same as with the cops. You can...

1:15:51🔗 Adam Right. Grease someone's palm. I like that. I mean, now that I have money, I wish we lived in a society where you could do a little palm greasing. You know what I'm saying, Drew?

1:16:02🔗 Drew They can just send the police in to buy the beer for them.

1:16:04🔗 Adam Well, what I mean is you get pulled over, right? Do you feel like a criminal? Do you know what I mean? Do you feel like you need a lesson taught to you? You know it's a big hassle. You know it's going on your driving record. Wouldn't you love just to be able to pull 100 bucks out of your wallet and hand it to the guy? And furthermore, Drew, how fast would you do that if you got pulled over? How fast?

1:16:27🔗 Drew Fast. It doesn't sound like a great idea for the society at large, though.

1:16:30🔗 Adam Look at Mexico. It's a utopia. What are you talking about?

1:16:34🔗 Jaguares Yeah, sure.

1:16:35🔗 Adam You're going to the airport. You don't want the guy to check a certain bag. You give him 20 bucks, you keep walking, right? Please. How dare you make fun of Mexico, Drew. Is this Armstrong, Sergeant Armstrong?

1:16:50🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

1:16:50🔗 Adam What's up there, Sarge?

1:16:52🔗 Caller Oh, hey.

1:16:54🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

1:16:54🔗 Adam Yes, you're 28.

1:16:56🔗 Caller Yes, sir.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Yes, sir.

1:16:58🔗 Get on your knees, scumbag.

1:17:01🔗 Adam A little full metal jacket for you there. What's up, Sarge?

1:17:06🔗 Well, I was in a, I can't disclose the location, but I was in an area where a lot of sand was. About three weeks later, after coming back stateside, I developed a rash in my growing area.

1:17:19🔗 Adam I see.

1:17:20🔗 I went to the VA and they told me it was nothing but mere heat rash and go away in a week.

1:17:25🔗 Drew Fungus. Fungus.

1:17:26🔗 Yeah, consequently, it did not.

1:17:28🔗 Drew Did you take a fungus cream?

1:17:30🔗 Do I do what?

1:17:31🔗 Drew Did you use a fungus cream?

1:17:34🔗 No, sir. I didn't know it was a fungus at the time. It's now gotten to the size about, oh, you split a baseball in half and put it on both sides of the growing on both sides.

1:17:42🔗 Drew Yeah. Go get yourself some.

1:17:44🔗 Adam Antifungal, right?

1:17:46🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:17:46🔗 Adam What kind of stuff?

1:17:47🔗 Drew Oh, some good ones out there. Low tremendous work, microtenal work.

1:17:51🔗 Adam Just spray the junk down there?

1:17:52🔗 Drew I'll tell you what, the Lamacil is the one you want. Go ahead and get the Lamacil over the counter.

1:17:57🔗 Does the fungus usually react fairly violent against sweat and other?

1:18:03🔗 Drew Yeah. It's called Jockitch.

1:18:05🔗 Yeah.

1:18:05🔗 Drew That's what Jockitch is.

1:18:07🔗 Adam Let me explain something, Sergeant Fungus, which would be a good wrestling name, by the way. Here's the deal. You're groin, you're nutsack. It's like a dinner roll. Okay. It's like a piece of bread. You take that piece of bread and you sprinkle water on it, and then you put a glass over it and you put it out in the sun, and you get heat and you get moisture and you get a greenhouse effect. Well, in a couple of days, what do you got on that bread?

1:18:34🔗 Drew Mold.

1:18:35🔗 Adam You got mold.

1:18:35🔗 Drew Penicillin.

1:18:36🔗 Adam You got stuff growing all over that bread. But you take that same roll, you put it out in the sun with the wind blowing, and what do you got?

1:18:43🔗 Drew Dry bread.

1:18:43🔗 Adam What do you got? Mold. It's a horrible point. Old bread. The point is that a rat eats it. Okay? So, what's worse, mold on your nuts or a rat devouring your scrotum sack? I think I've made my point. No, here's the deal. You want to dry something out, you gotta free ball it a little bit, you gotta dump some powder down there, you gotta spray that Mycidin or that Desinax, whatever that Lamisil, you gotta keep it dry. If it's a moist, wet, if it's a moist, warm environment, the mold is gonna propagate. Is that a good word there, Drew?

1:19:17🔗 Drew Beautiful.

1:19:18🔗 Adam Thank you. Yeah, you gotta dry everything out. I'll tell ya, like for instance, you get a cut, you get a cut, you put a band-aid on it, you leave that band-aid on for two weeks, you pull the band-aid off, it looks like you got to cut 10 minutes ago. You gotta air it out. That's what heals everything, blow wind on it. I'll put a fan down my pants a couple times a day, just to air it out, just to ventilate.

1:19:41🔗 Drew Is that what you're doing?

1:19:43🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm putting a fan down my pants, thank you. Jaime, you're either Jewish or Mexican, which one?

1:19:50🔗 Caller I'm Mexican.

1:19:51🔗 Adam Okay, good, because that'd be a horrible name for a Jew. Kind of cruel parents for those to be. That'd be funny if you named your kid Jaime, your Jewish family.

1:20:01🔗 Caller Isn't there some joke with like Jaime Town or something like that?

1:20:04🔗 Adam Oh yeah, yeah.

1:20:05🔗 Caller I haven't heard of him too much, that's right, I'm Mexican though, so that's all right. I had a question for Jaguares.

1:20:12🔗 Jaguares Que paso?

1:20:13🔗 Caller Alfonso, Saúl, Buenas noches.

1:20:14🔗 Jaguares Hola, Buenas noches.

1:20:15🔗 Caller I have a question about the new song they have on the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack, only came out on the Latin American edition.

1:20:25🔗 Jaguares Yes.

1:20:25🔗 Caller So I was wondering if that was going to be available in the United States.

1:20:29🔗 Jaguares It's going to be in a new CD that's coming out with some songs from the history of the band, from Jaugares. And this song and another song that's all did with, how do you call it? Chep Calen.

1:20:46🔗 Adam So it'll be on a Jaguares compilation.

1:20:49🔗 Jaguares Compilation, yes. It's going to be released here in August.

1:20:53🔗 Adam All right, Jaime.

1:20:54🔗 Caller Okay, I'd like to ask one more question. Sure. I know Alfonso plays with the band called La Barranca.

1:21:01🔗 Jaguares Yes.

1:21:01🔗 Caller And I was wondering what does Jaguares do when he goes off and plays with them? Do you agarra un otro que toca bateria or do you kind of just take a vacation and start writing or how does that work?

1:21:14🔗 Jaguares No, La Barranca has another drummer that plays when I cannot make it.

1:21:19🔗 Adam But what does Jaguares do when you can't make it?

1:21:23🔗 Jaguares I can always make it.

1:21:24🔗 Adam Oh, okay. Well, there you go, Jaime.

1:21:26🔗 Caller Okay. Thanks a lot, guys. You guys are a great band. Thank you.

1:21:29🔗 Adam Yeah, that's called, in Spanish, it's called Prioritiasia. Prioritiasia. Priorities. Priorities. There you go. True. You know, the Mexicans, they rip off all our big words, and they try to make it their own like a dictionary. Like how do you say dictionary?

1:21:45🔗 Jaguares Dictionary.

1:21:45🔗 Adam There you go. Another one of our good words.

1:21:48🔗 Jaguares That's the other way around.

1:21:49🔗 Drew They steal the big one.

1:21:51🔗 Adam Parking lot?

1:21:52🔗 Jaguares Estacionamiento. That's a different one. It's better to say like parking.

1:21:56🔗 Adam What the hell kind of point are you trying to make over there?

1:21:58🔗 Drew In France they say parking.

1:22:00🔗 Adam Hypochondriac. How do you say that?

1:22:02🔗 Jaguares Hypochondriaco.

1:22:03🔗 Adam There you go. You put the O at the end, like it's all of a sudden like you made it up. Please, who are you fooling? That's our word. You guys start making up your own words.

1:22:13🔗 Jaguares That's the other way around actually. Those are Latin words and our language comes from Latin directly.

1:22:17🔗 Adam Let's not confuse this with the truth. I was on a roll. Drew, any more parking lot references you'd like to make or can we go to commercial?

1:22:25🔗 Drew Let's go.

1:22:26🔗 Adam All right.

1:22:27🔗 Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:23:06🔗 Adam Hey, yeah, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. We have a Jaguares here tonight. Their CD is called Bajo el Azul de Todora Barabadas. Maestro?

1:23:20🔗 Jaguares Bajo el Azul de Tu Misterio.

1:23:22🔗 Adam Wait, say that again.

1:23:23🔗 Jaguares Bajo el Azul de Tu Misterio. Under the mystery of your blue or something like that. It will be the translation.

1:23:30🔗 Adam I see. All right. I was on a roll there. I just kind of petered out at the end. Maybe I got a little excited. You were doing great. I sounded like I was calling a soccer match instead of giving the name of the CD.

1:23:38🔗 Caller Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal.

1:23:39🔗 Adam Oh, man, he must be. How much commercial? Where's that guy from? Is he from Mexico? The goal.

1:23:46🔗 Drew Where's he from? Pasadena.

1:23:48🔗 Adam Pasadena?

1:23:48🔗 Drew His dad works with me.

1:23:49🔗 Adam He's a gringo?

1:23:51🔗 Drew I don't know. No, he's Argentinian. He's Argentinian.

1:23:54🔗 Adam The guy at the soccer match.

1:23:56🔗 Caller I think he's from Argentina.

1:23:57🔗 Adam At the World Cup. Half an hour.

1:24:02🔗 Caller He has a hole in the voice.

1:24:06🔗 Adam Imagine how many commercial endorsements he's getting back in his homeland of Argentina. All right, we will hear something from Jaguars off of the Bajo eso de la Carola. And, oh boy, Drew, what's this one called?

1:24:23🔗 Drew Tu reino?

1:24:23🔗 Adam Tu reino?

1:24:24🔗 Jaguares Así es. Yeah? Tu reino.

1:24:26🔗 Adam Tu reino. That is little Jaguares off here, something called the Torreno. And that of course is off of the Baja el Zula, Calat, Calanonar, Calarera, which means how blue are your eyes? Which means Bajorahabalabala.

1:29:27🔗 Jaguares Clear, clear.

1:29:28🔗 Adam Yeah, that means blue eyes, right?

1:29:30🔗 Caller Blue something with the blue?

1:29:31🔗 Caller Blue mystery in the something happening.

1:29:35🔗 Adam Oh, okay. There you go. Another good one from Jaguares. Ryan?

1:29:40🔗 Yes.

1:29:41🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:29:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:42🔗 Adam What's up?

1:29:44🔗 Caller I think my girlfriend cheated with my stepbrother, and I don't know. I don't know how to confront her with that.

1:29:49🔗 Drew Why do you believe that?

1:29:50🔗 Caller Why do I believe that? Well, her birthday was last Monday. She had a party, and she lives down in North Carolina. It's where I really live. I'm just up here visiting my mom, and I wanted to attend it and all, and I found out from another friend that my stepbrother went over there and stayed the night that night, and she's starting to act all weird about this stuff now, and I don't know, you know.

1:30:11🔗 Drew Why don't you talk to your stepbrother?

1:30:13🔗 Caller Huh?

1:30:13🔗 Drew Can you talk to your stepbrother?

1:30:16🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:17🔗 Adam Well, he's just going to deny it. How old is he?

1:30:19🔗 Caller How old is he? He's 14.

1:30:21🔗 Drew How old is she?

1:30:22🔗 Caller She's 15.

1:30:23🔗 Adam She's 11. She's, and where are you now?

1:30:26🔗 Caller Where am I now? I'm in Cincinnati.

1:30:29🔗 Adam You're now in Cincinnati? Is that where you are now, right now?

1:30:31🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:30:32🔗 Adam Where are you now? Cincinnati. Okay. So when are you going home?

1:30:36🔗 Caller I'll be home the first week of August.

1:30:38🔗 Adam I see.

1:30:39🔗 Drew I suggest you end this relationship.

1:30:41🔗 Caller Why? I mean, it's a lose-lose situation.

1:30:44🔗 Adam Well, hold on a second. So somebody told you your stepbrother spent the night. Yeah. Would there be any reason to spend the night?

1:30:53🔗 Caller I see none.

1:30:55🔗 Adam Yeah. But if you talk to him, I mean-

1:30:57🔗 Drew What's he going to say?

1:30:57🔗 Adam He's going to say, I drank too much, I passed out in the spare room, right?

1:31:02🔗 Caller More like you smoked too much, but basically, yeah.

1:31:04🔗 Adam Right. Do you think those two have had a thing? Do you think they like each other?

1:31:09🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:31:10🔗 Adam Well, then why-

1:31:11🔗 Caller That's what scares me.

1:31:12🔗 Adam But here's my point. It shouldn't scare you because- Here's what should scare you. If you noticed a little chemistry between the two of them in the past. Do you know what I mean?

1:31:23🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:23🔗 Adam You can't get a read off of her. I mean, most 15-year-old girls who have a 16-year-old boyfriend, even if it's you, Ryan, don't want to go back to some 14-year-old kid.

1:31:33🔗 Drew Right.

1:31:34🔗 Adam Do you ever get any vibe off of her that she had any interest in him?

1:31:41🔗 Caller Sometimes. It's kind of rare, but yeah, a little bit.

1:31:43🔗 Adam A little bit? Sometimes, but not much?

1:31:46🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:31:46🔗 Adam Okay. Well, write that down, Drew.

1:31:48🔗 Drew Yeah. Ryan, either he... I don't know. I didn't know where to begin. All right. My thing is, hey, you're 15, you freaked out by your girlfriend.

1:31:54🔗 Adam Can you talk to your... All right.

1:31:56🔗 Drew If you don't trust her, you shouldn't be in the relationship.

1:31:59🔗 Adam Ryan, this sounds like more you.

1:32:00🔗 Drew Yes.

1:32:01🔗 Adam You sound pretty easily freaked out.

1:32:04🔗 Caller I'm more of the quiet type, but yeah, you could say that.

1:32:06🔗 Adam Yeah, you're quiet, but you're just the kind of guy who snaps, and gets a hunting rifle and goes up to a water tower, right? All right, Ryan. Wait a minute. He's making a note now, too. Let's see. Get a rifle, go to hunting tower. Yeah. Oh, God. Isn't it horrible being a 16-year-old man?

1:32:26🔗 Drew That's true.

1:32:27🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

1:32:27🔗 Drew Oh, absolutely.

1:32:28🔗 Adam You guys remember that? Jealous.

1:32:29🔗 Jaguares Yeah, yes, it's terrible.

1:32:31🔗 Adam Yeah. Now, you get to be our age, and it's like, listen, is she cheating? Oh, who cares? I got to watch TV. I mean, you care, but this poor Ryan, he's up all night. He's creating elaborate scenarios.

1:32:48🔗 Drew I swear to God, I go to animal models. When I think about the young orangutans jumping around, and then the old guys sitting in the back, you can barely get up.

1:32:56🔗 Adam Yeah, the older orangutans, they're sitting in the tree, they're picking stuff off themselves. That's it. You stop picking on other people, you start picking yourself. That's what happens. When you're young, you go pick on everyone else, then you get home. Now you want to be left alone so you can pick it yourself. You got stuff, psoriasis, scaling.

1:33:13🔗 Drew I watch you in your nose every night.

1:33:14🔗 Adam Oh, I go out, yeah, and drive home. I got one fan. It's amazing. I can drive a stick and pick my nose the way I do. Thank you, Drew. So what have we learned tonight? I cramp in a popcorn bucket and I pick my nose. Anything else, Drew? Can I talk about the time I cried when my hamster died when I was nine? Drew, you'll not rest until I can't get light.

1:33:33🔗 Drew Evelyn, what's going on?

1:33:34🔗 Caller Quick. I have a question for Howard.

1:33:37🔗 Adam Yeah, Tate?

1:33:38🔗 Caller First of all, hi, Adam. Hi, Drew. I really love your show.

1:33:40🔗 Adam All right, now hold on a second. Drew, what do you say? How high are you? How high are you? Here's the question. Drew wants to settle in 47 seconds. He wants to know.

1:33:52🔗 Drew He'll ask if he can't bring it. He's not going to get through it.

1:33:54🔗 Adam Well, I just want to know how stupid Drew is. She want to know how Saul got over his drug addiction, and he says, do it in 30 seconds.

1:34:03🔗 Drew Well, ask her question in 30 seconds. All right.

1:34:06🔗 Adam You're over your drug addiction?

1:34:08🔗 Caller Sort of, yeah.

1:34:08🔗 Adam Yeah, all right. Sort of. But you're not high now, right?

1:34:13🔗 Caller No, I'm not.

1:34:14🔗 Adam All right. That's over with. How did you sort of get over it, I guess is the question.

1:34:19🔗 Caller No, it's just that suddenly you get conscious about that, and you have to confrontate it and clean yourself. It's not so big deal.

1:34:29🔗 Adam What was your drug of choice?

1:34:31🔗 Caller Well, it's cocaine and... acids.

1:34:37🔗 Adam Acids. But listen, Mexico is different. Everyone does.

1:34:40🔗 Drew I'm also not sure.

1:34:41🔗 Caller We don't have heroin in Mexico.

1:34:42🔗 Drew I'm not so sure. That's not addiction. Let's just use... using a lot of drug is not addiction.

1:34:47🔗 Adam Okay.

1:34:47🔗 Drew Two different things.

1:34:48🔗 Adam We're going to take a break. Drew's going to do a quick urine sample of Samuel.

1:34:52🔗 Drew And we'll be looking for some bento that can eat.

1:34:54🔗 Adam We'll be back after this.

1:34:58🔗 Drew Hello. What is this? This is Loveline.

1:35:00🔗 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline. We'll be right back.

1:35:28🔗 Adam And Drew just made a very valid point that Eskimos were worse than Mexicans, right, Drew? Thank you. You're sure you're not just kissing the ass because Jaguares is here tonight? All right. I want to thank you guys very much for coming in. The night flew by, which is a compliment to you, because it always means there was some entertainment to be had. Everyone go out there and support Jaguares. They've been here three times, so they're officially family, and guys, we do appreciate it.

1:35:58🔗 Caller Oh, thank you.

1:35:59🔗 Adam So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:36:03🔗 Drew Grandes exitos en español.

1:36:06🔗 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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