Monday, July 10, 2000

1:57🔗 Voiceover 50 seconds.

2:07🔗 Voiceover 40 seconds. 30 seconds.

2:26🔗 Voiceover 20 seconds. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

2:46🔗 Voiceover It's meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, Coast to Coast.

3:06🔗 Voiceover Yeah, Coast to Coast. It is Loveline, Coast to Coast. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. All right, Drew, ready to get on the phones here, bud? Yeah, let's go. Wow.

3:29🔗 Drew Oh, you're all business tonight.

3:30🔗 Adam That's right. Got all business. I have nothing to say. Boring. Robert?

3:36🔗 Hi.

3:36🔗 Adam You're 17.

3:37🔗 Caller Yes.

3:38🔗 Adam What's up?

3:40🔗 Caller I have these two big pillows I rip open and I pretend I make out with them.

3:47🔗 Adam The two pillows?

3:48🔗 Caller Two, yeah, two big pillows. And I get all naked and I stick it in there.

3:56🔗 Adam Into the lower pillow?

3:58🔗 Caller Into the big pillow.

4:00🔗 Adam The big pillow?

4:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

4:02🔗 Adam Where are you from?

4:03🔗 Caller I'm from Portland.

4:07🔗 Adam Oh, home of the pillow.

4:10🔗 Caller Um, huh, what?

4:11🔗 Adam World's largest manufacturer of pillows.

4:13🔗 Drew Now, Adam, you had a friend that did some weird ass stuff.

4:16🔗 Adam I had a friend who humped a bean bag. That's what he called a bean bag chair. But he never humped a pillow. He just humped a bean bag. I see. Who, Bella Lugosi?

4:29🔗 Caller No, my name is Robert.

4:30🔗 Adam Robert, okay, I understand.

4:32🔗 Caller I listen to you guys every day.

4:34🔗 Adam I appreciate that. Robert, are you okay? Do you have any kind of disability?

4:38🔗 Caller Um, no.

4:40🔗 Adam Besides humping the pillow?

4:42🔗 Caller No.

4:44🔗 Caller I don't have any disability.

4:46🔗 Adam I see. You have just a hint of retardation in your voice. You know, like if there was, like if it called, you know when recipe calls for seasoning, just a pinch of herb of tarred?

5:00🔗 Caller An inch?

5:01🔗 Adam Just a pinch. Just a pinch. Just a, would you have a dash of tarred in you? You know what I'm saying?

5:07🔗 Caller Uh, what?

5:08🔗 Drew Okay.

5:10🔗 Adam And do you go to high school?

5:12🔗 Caller Yes, I do.

5:13🔗 Adam You'll be a senior next year?

5:14🔗 Caller Yes, I will.

5:15🔗 Adam All right. And are you hit with the ladies?

5:18🔗 Caller Um, no.

5:20🔗 Adam Hold on. I have to scrape Drew up off the floor.

5:22🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

5:22🔗 Adam Drew's flabbergasted. So you just, now, are these foam pillows? Or are these feather pillows?

5:30🔗 Caller They have white stuffing in them.

5:34🔗 Adam White stuffing?

5:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

5:35🔗 Adam Yeah. That's that, like, dacron stuff. Yeah, that can cause penis cutoff.

5:41🔗 Caller Is that bad?

5:43🔗 Adam It's not good. I mean, if I'm going to hump a pillow, I'm going to hump a goose down pillow.

5:47🔗 Drew Really? That might rot.

5:48🔗 Adam Oh, really?

5:49🔗 Drew Why not leave it with the synthetics?

5:50🔗 Adam And where does...

5:51🔗 Drew It'll solidify, but that's the worst.

5:53🔗 Adam And do you reach orgasm in the pillow?

5:56🔗 Drew Yeah.

5:56🔗 Adam I see. And how many times do you do that before you take the stuffing out and put it through the wash?

6:03🔗 Caller I never do.

6:04🔗 Adam Oh, you never do?

6:04🔗 Drew But by a new pillow.

6:07🔗 Adam These are your pillows?

6:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:09🔗 Adam The ones you use to sleep on?

6:10🔗 Caller Yes.

6:11🔗 Adam I see. All right. So it feels good.

6:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:14🔗 Adam Fantastic.

6:15🔗 Drew Enjoy.

6:15🔗 Caller It feels good.

6:16🔗 Adam Okay.

6:17🔗 Caller Is it normal or?

6:18🔗 Adam That's fine.

6:18🔗 Drew It's fine, Robert. It's fine.

6:19🔗 Caller It is?

6:20🔗 Adam Yes. It's good.

6:21🔗 Caller I also have a girlfriend.

6:22🔗 Drew You also have a girlfriend?

6:24🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:24🔗 Adam What's she stuffed with?

6:25🔗 Huh?

6:28🔗 Adam Do you have sex with her?

6:30🔗 Caller No.

6:30🔗 Adam No.

6:31🔗 Caller Good.

6:31🔗 Adam How far do you get with her?

6:34🔗 Caller I get nowhere with her.

6:35🔗 Adam Nowhere?

6:36🔗 Caller I just hug her.

6:37🔗 Adam She's a hugger?

6:38🔗 Caller Yeah.

6:39🔗 Adam We're talking about your mother or we're talking about a girlfriend?

6:41🔗 Caller A girlfriend.

6:42🔗 Adam I see. How old is she?

6:44🔗 Caller She's 14 and I'm 17.

6:46🔗 I see.

6:47🔗 Adam Good. Well, you just keep, you hug her and then you rape that pillow when you get home, okay?

6:54🔗 Caller Okay.

6:54🔗 Adam All right, Robert. God bless you.

6:56🔗 Drew Just think about how men are. Just think about that. That's the man.

7:00🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah.

7:02🔗 Drew That's the man.

7:02🔗 Adam Surprised he's not getting tail thrown at him left and right.

7:05🔗 Drew The thing about that man, they need that closeness, but when it gets right down to it, they're humping pillows.

7:12🔗 Adam Well, it's all right to hump pillows when you're young, even humping multi pillows. But at some point, you're going to have to settle down.

7:17🔗 Drew You're going to blow up the wall.

7:20🔗 Adam Well, marry a pillow, is what I'm saying. And God willing one day, you'll be blessed with some throw pillows. Sherry?

7:30🔗 Guest Yes, sir.

7:31🔗 Adam What the hell was that guy's, what was his, was that accent or affect?

7:36🔗 Drew It was an affectation.

7:37🔗 Adam It was like a young Truman Capote.

7:42🔗 Guest Adam?

7:43🔗 Adam Yeah, Sherry?

7:44🔗 Guest Yes. Well, first of all, before I state my problem, I want to tell you, you know how you're going back to all the TV, like what you want to see more of, the quicksand? Yes.

7:52🔗 Adam Yes.

7:52🔗 Guest I thought of one. I was doing my makeup the other day, and it's the first day of school and this girl isn't getting anywhere, she's not meeting anybody. She goes to buy a soda and nothing comes out, and the most handsome guy in the world comes up and bangs on it just in the right spot and the soda can comes out. Happened all the time.

8:09🔗 Adam Yeah, it's got a little let-fonds going for it, but still not a staple like Quicksand or taking the house and splitting it in half.

8:19🔗 Drew I was just reading a history about Theodore Roosevelt, and indeed, Quicksand really existed up in the big plains, in the badlands of North Dakota and stuff. I really thought it was just a Gilligan's Island fabrication.

8:30🔗 Adam No, I thought I knew it existed, but it just seems like it's all been cemented over now. Sherry?

8:36🔗 Guest Yes, sir.

8:36🔗 Adam All right, so what else can you waste our time with tonight?

8:40🔗 Oh, no, I'm hurt.

8:42🔗 Guest Okay.

8:42🔗 Adam That's all right.

8:44🔗 Guest Well, I came out of this somewhat long relationship for a 17-year-old, and we were engaged. I started dating other guys, and during... I mean, after every guy, we date a little while, go out three, four times, and then mysteriously, I never hear from them again. That's my first question. And I want to know either what I'm doing to find these guys, or is it me, or...

9:09🔗 Drew Okay. How many times has this actually happened? Because a certain amount of this is dating. That's just what dating is.

9:17🔗 Guest Well, no, it's severe. It's weird.

9:19🔗 Drew Like 10 times?

9:20🔗 Guest Yeah, like eight, nine times.

9:22🔗 Drew Every time, every time?

9:23🔗 Guest Every time. It hasn't not happened. They just don't call.

9:26🔗 Drew Three, four times.

9:27🔗 Adam What do you do with them?

9:30🔗 Guest I don't know. I mean, it's not like... I slept with them all.

9:33🔗 Drew Right.

9:34🔗 Guest I didn't sleep with any of them, but...

9:35🔗 Adam Hold on a second. Something just popped in my head, Drew. As people, we're very fragile, I realize. That's why we've created a lot of things, Heaven, Hell, God, that kind of stuff. Don't you think we also look for rhyme and reason?

9:50🔗 Drew In everything.

9:51🔗 Adam And we try to add, we try to sort of ascribe patterns to things that may be slightly more random.

9:57🔗 Drew Yeah, always.

9:58🔗 Adam And I remember doing a lot more of that when I was 17 or 18.

10:02🔗 Drew That's when you're also not stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk.

10:04🔗 Adam If something happened twice in a row, I was damned to it. It was a pattern. I don't know how I got started down this path. I stand back and look at it. Usually the stuff that I was calling patterns, there's more stuff that I was responsible for, or there wasn't actually a pattern. It happened twice. I deleted every time I dumped a girl, or every time I didn't call a girl back. So the only thing left was the pattern that I was trying to create.

10:32🔗 Drew The pattern also reinforces your sense of yourself and the world.

10:36🔗 Adam Right.

10:36🔗 Drew Your beliefs.

10:37🔗 Adam All right. So Sherry, all right, maybe this is happening more than it should, but I bet you could think back to a couple of guys who you turned down or you went on a date with.

10:47🔗 Guest That's the funny thing is that I used to do that a lot. You know, I'd go out and then I'd give them a reason why, but they just don't call. They don't give me a reason. They don't do anything. It's not like I don't put out, you know, not to sound like.

10:57🔗 Drew Guys don't don't give reasons.

11:00🔗 Adam Yeah. All right.

11:01🔗 Guest Well, I mean that and then you're dating guys, aren't you? Yeah.

11:05🔗 Drew They don't give good reasons.

11:06🔗 Adam Okay. Not 18 year old guys.

11:08🔗 No.

11:10🔗 Adam All right. So listen, find yourself a guy.

11:14🔗 Drew You're dating guys are too exciting.

11:15🔗 Guest Yeah.

11:16🔗 Adam Boring guys. Remember the guy who called who was dating the pillow?

11:21🔗 Guest No.

11:21🔗 Adam Date a guy like that.

11:22🔗 Guest Well, okay. That was my first question. And then, like, just to continue on that just a little more, it's like, you know, one of the guys that I went out with, like, right after I got out of that relationship, he ended up raping me. And then he called me back and he's like, well, it's just not going to work out because, you know, I respect you more than I've ever respected anyone else. And it's just, you know, it's not going to work out. I don't want to be using girls for sex anymore.

11:47🔗 Drew I'm a rapist. You don't deserve me. This was the call.

11:51🔗 Adam You moved around too much while I was raping you.

11:54🔗 Drew Sherry, you believe this BS?

11:56🔗 Guest No, I don't. But I mean, that's why I wanted to, you know, figure out...

12:00🔗 Adam How'd you let the guy rape you? What happened?

12:04🔗 Guest We were out on a date, right? And he had been a friend of mine previous to that. And it was right after I broke up with my ex-fiance. And like, he had, I guess, liked me for a long time. He finally asked me out. And we went to the drive-in theater and it was shut down. So we stopped by a party. And he drank a couple of beers, not to justify, just to put that in there. And then we, the two of us ended up sitting in the back of the cab of the truck, not the cabs yet, the bed of the truck under the canopy. And on the way home, it happened.

12:33🔗 Adam And he pulled over and he went back.

12:36🔗 Guest No, no, no. There was somebody else driving. There was a group of six of us all together.

12:40🔗 Adam Oh, really?

12:41🔗 Guest Yeah, they were in the cab of the truck as we didn't see it.

12:43🔗 Adam So what did he do? He came on to you?

12:46🔗 Drew He didn't say, hey, help me, guys?

12:47🔗 Adam He didn't bang on the window?

12:48🔗 Guest Well, I was screaming, but they thought it was out of pleasure. And I mean, because they couldn't really hear what I was saying.

12:55🔗 Adam You were screaming like, my god, I'm being raped!

12:57🔗 Guest Help! Well, no, I didn't. I don't know. Maybe I was just out of my mind.

13:01🔗 Adam I got to use that in case I go to prison one day. Thanks, Anderson.

13:04🔗 Guest I doubt they'll hear you there either.

13:06🔗 Adam Yeah.

13:07🔗 Drew Why weren't you yelling like that?

13:08🔗 Adam I don't want to make it your fault, but you didn't do a great job of letting people know.

13:12🔗 Guest That's why I don't find it surprising that it wasn't stopped. I don't blame it on anyone but myself.

13:18🔗 Adam Well, you don't have to do that, but I mean, what's up with you?

13:23🔗 Guest What do you mean, what's up with me?

13:24🔗 Drew That you didn't yell, help. What's wrong with your esteem that you couldn't stand up for yourself there? Had you been victimized in the past? Or how many times have you been victimized in the past?

13:34🔗 Guest Sexually? Well, I was raped at 15. And I don't remember anything else before then.

13:42🔗 Adam Who raped you at 15?

13:44🔗 Guest Another one of my boyfriends.

13:45🔗 Drew Did you report that rape?

13:46🔗 Adam No.

13:48🔗 Guest It was one of the, I've heard you mention it before, it was a no right after it started.

13:53🔗 Drew Let's just stop the pattern here.

13:55🔗 Adam All right, hey listen, Sherry, you're engaged, you've been raped a couple of times. You're 17, right?

14:01🔗 Drew You're dating A-holes who are not available?

14:04🔗 Guest Why do I find these guys?

14:05🔗 Adam Well, your dad's an asshole.

14:07🔗 Drew Right.

14:07🔗 Guest I don't know.

14:08🔗 Drew No, yes, of course.

14:09🔗 Adam He must be a world-class A-hole.

14:11🔗 Guest No, not really.

14:12🔗 Adam Really? Where is he?

14:15🔗 Guest Right now he's in Portland. He's a truck driver.

14:17🔗 Adam Okay, so he was never around.

14:19🔗 Guest Well, he is around. I went fishing with him all weekend this weekend.

14:22🔗 Drew Was he there every night to put you in bed?

14:24🔗 Guest No.

14:24🔗 Drew Okay, that's just a minimum dad responsibility.

14:28🔗 Adam Drew's not around to put his kids in bed anyway, but he has the dignity to pay someone to do it.

14:31🔗 Guest You're on the radio every night.

14:32🔗 Drew I make sure they're in bed before I leave.

14:34🔗 Guest Yes.

14:35🔗 Adam All right.

14:35🔗 Guest I have another question too.

14:37🔗 Adam No, we don't have time for you.

14:38🔗 Guest It's about my kidneys.

14:39🔗 Adam Don't care.

14:40🔗 Drew What's wrong with your kidneys? Quick, go.

14:43🔗 Guest I was given, well, they found kidney stones.

14:47🔗 Drew Yes.

14:47🔗 Guest I guess they were stuck in the ureter or something.

14:49🔗 Drew Go.

14:50🔗 Guest I was wondering if the pain should be in front because I'm having severe pain there. Back.

14:54🔗 Drew Back. You can go like radiate to the front of the groin and man it and go down to the testes.

14:58🔗 Adam Oh, boy. All right. Listen, Sherry, you're effed up beyond belief. You really are. I mean, you're 17, been engaged in rape twice. That's not great. You got to get some counseling. You got to, whoever it is you're attracted to, don't go out with them.

15:14🔗 Drew Don't go. Again, I've said this before, but learn to not trust attraction, but trust instinct. You know, because usually people are like, oh, I'm so attracted to him, but that voice inside me said he's dangerous, I shouldn't go out. That little voice you could barely hear, that's the one you listen to. Not the, oh my God, I got to go out with that guy.

15:30🔗 Adam And furthermore, all you folks that hook up with, mainly women who hook up with guys, but guys do this with women too, get married to, get engaged to, have relationships with, have children with, people that turn out, turn out to be psychopaths.

15:45🔗 Drew Yeah, they don't start.

15:46🔗 Adam Take some responsibility for that, because you should be able to sniff that out on the first date. In the first half hour of the first date, you should know when something's up with somebody. And if you can't tell if something's up with someone enough to the point where you start a family with them or you get married to them, that's your fault. It really is, because there are psychopaths everywhere. Anyone could find one. You must have that force field around you that detects those. And if you don't, you got to look into it. Tim, you're 14. What's up?

16:18🔗 Caller I just wanted to know if there's an over-the-counter drug for depression.

16:22🔗 Adam Yes, called Booze.

16:24🔗 Drew Look, if you have depression, let's just call it disease X. There's a one out of five chance that you're going to die of that disease. Wouldn't you want to see a doctor by now?

16:36🔗 Caller No, I haven't.

16:37🔗 Drew Tim, he's missing my point.

16:39🔗 Adam All right, Tim, go see a doctor if you're depressed.

16:41🔗 Drew I know a lot about depression. I would never treat myself. Over-the-counter medicine, any kind of medicine. Okay, if you have depression, it should be treated. It's a dangerous condition, especially at your age.

16:51🔗 Caller All right, like a drug called St. John's Ward or something like that.

16:55🔗 Drew Tim, see a doctor. If the doctor recommends it, if the therapist or doctor recommends St. John's.

16:59🔗 Adam What if he tried St. John's Warrant and he thought he was better? No, not going to work?

17:05🔗 Drew It might work. It might give him some better.

17:07🔗 Adam Well, now it's not going to work.

17:08🔗 Drew No.

17:08🔗 Adam Tom wasn't going to work.

17:09🔗 Drew No, but he needs supervision, he needs...

17:12🔗 Adam Well, maybe he's not that depressed. I was depressed. Tim, how depressed are you? Really depressed. All right, go see a doctor then. Stop wasting our time.

17:20🔗 Drew Like I said, if you just put this, you'd call it a different disease. Call it disease A and there's a one in five chance you're going to die. That's depression.

17:27🔗 Adam You got to name it after my first initial?

17:29🔗 Drew Yeah. Thank you. If you were any other disease, you wouldn't even contemplate not seeing somebody had a 20 percent chance of dying of it.

17:39🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, yeah, you have a 20 percent chance of dying of it, but it's not the cancer that kills you or the disease that kills you. It's the gun that kills you because you put it to your head and people don't think of it that way. It's not a 20 percent chance. One out of five that have been institutionalized or hospitalized for their depression. It's not depression as an umbrella.

18:03🔗 Drew This age is one of the highest risk categories.

18:05🔗 Adam How do you quantify real clinical depression? How do you make it into that one in five category? You see what I'm saying?

18:13🔗 Drew No. Who is that category made up of? Yeah. Mostly severe depression, but also adolescent depression is a big part of it.

18:20🔗 Adam Pepe.

18:22🔗 What's up, guys?

18:22🔗 Adam Hey, you're 19.

18:24🔗 Caller How you guys doing?

18:24🔗 Adam You're destined to open a Mexican restaurant with a name like Pepe.

18:28🔗 Caller Well, that's the name because I also had a question about my Pepe.

18:31🔗 Adam Fantastic.

18:33🔗 Caller But, well, pretty much K through high school, I've been doing really poor in school, and I'm going on my third year at community college, and I want to know if I'm just fooling myself, if I just-

18:47🔗 Adam Yes.

18:48🔗 Caller Am I? You think so?

18:49🔗 Adam That's right.

18:50🔗 Drew I'm going to comedy.

18:51🔗 Adam Yeah. You're not cut out for academics.

18:56🔗 Caller All right.

18:56🔗 Adam All right. That's fine.

18:58🔗 Caller All right. And Dr. Drew.

18:59🔗 Adam Do something else.

19:00🔗 Caller All right. This one's about my Pepe.

19:01🔗 Drew All right.

19:02🔗 Caller If I put some vinegar on it and I put a black light to it, can I see warts?

19:06🔗 Drew Yeah. Pre-wart. Pre-warts. They'll turn a little white there. All right. We forgot all about that.

19:12🔗 Adam Bring that in, Drew.

19:13🔗 Drew Yeah, we got to get that going.

19:13🔗 Adam I challenge you to a duel.

19:16🔗 Drew Ann, while you were gone, you realize, do you know about this duel?

19:18🔗 Adam Yeah, she was in there?

19:19🔗 Drew No, she was gone. Adam has warts. He was convinced he doesn't. He must have them.

19:25🔗 Adam First off, how dare you? And secondly, how dare you? I do not have warts.

19:30🔗 Drew Okay.

19:31🔗 Adam I have never had warts. Drew asserts that 65 percent of single people have warts, and this leads me to believe that Drew has warts.

19:41🔗 Drew And so to prove that, and it has it, you can put vinegar, basically, acetic acid on the penis and shine a wood light on it, a black light basically, and these little pre-wart lesions will turn up. And so we're going to do that.

19:52🔗 Adam That's right.

19:52🔗 Drew I need oven mittens.

19:54🔗 Adam And I'm going to put a hundred dollars down so that I can laugh all the way to the bank after none of these are discovered on my penis.

20:00🔗 Drew We need the black light, we need the black light and the quarter percent of acetic acid and stuff, and then oven mittens and one of those welders masks.

20:08🔗 Adam How dare you and how dare you? Please.

20:10🔗 Drew And then we're ready to go, okay? When do we do it? As soon as you get the equipment.

20:14🔗 Adam As soon as you- Oh, I have to get it? Hold on.

20:16🔗 Drew As a producer, come on.

20:17🔗 Adam I'll get it.

20:18🔗 Drew Adam, I'm providing the evaluation. I'll go get it. She is providing the equipment.

20:23🔗 Adam All right, but you're a doctor and you have access to this stuff.

20:26🔗 Drew I'm not a dermatologist, I don't have that equipment.

20:28🔗 Adam You know dermatologist, you could tell your secretary to pick up the phone and it'd be done. Done. Tell Ann to call your secretary.

20:35🔗 Drew If you want to go to the dermatologist's office with me-

20:37🔗 Adam How dare you.

20:37🔗 Drew And use their woodslight, that's fine, but we can't take it out of their office.

20:40🔗 Adam First off, I'm a big B slash C celebrity. I do not go to the dermatologist's office, have a light put on my penis.

20:47🔗 Drew B minus C plus.

20:48🔗 Adam Our producer of the man show, Daniel Kellison, calls me B slash C celebrity. He does not go to these dermatologist's office, have a light flashed on his penis.

20:59🔗 Guest Now, he wouldn't know if he had these already.

21:01🔗 Drew Would not know.

21:02🔗 Guest He can't see him, can't feel him.

21:04🔗 Drew I'm just playing my odds that he's got them.

21:07🔗 Guest How many sexual partners have you had in the last five years?

21:11🔗 Drew Doesn't matter. Five years.

21:14🔗 Adam Last five years.

21:14🔗 Guest I'm just trying to get some information right now.

21:16🔗 Adam Yeah. No hedging. What are the odds here? I got 100 bucks that says my penis is clean. Drew's got 100 that says it's going to have white spots on it. I am so confident in this, I said, bring it on. Shine the light on the Pepe. Can we all watch?

21:33🔗 Drew Shine the light. Sure.

21:35🔗 Adam No problem. So Drew.

21:38🔗 Drew Yeah.

21:38🔗 Adam Okay. Anne, you call Drew's secretary and get her to make a phone call or two. That's how it's going to work. You can have Anne running around trying to scrape up one of these things.

21:47🔗 Drew If I knew how the hell to get one of these things, I'd have it up here.

21:50🔗 Adam Plus, what do you want her to do? You probably need some license to purchase these things. No.

21:55🔗 Is it just a regular old black light?

21:58🔗 Drew The best ones come with a big magnifying glass with the light inside the lights. You can really... I want the magnifying glass.

22:04🔗 Adam We'll show them those later. Please. You put a magnifying glass on...

22:08🔗 Drew I might see your penis.

22:09🔗 Guest We know enough doctors. Maybe they could help us out.

22:11🔗 Drew Ooh, maybe we could put a plea out. Maybe Marcel's got something.

22:15🔗 Adam Okay. Hold on a second. I don't need strangers handling my junk for nothing.

22:20🔗 Drew They're not gonna say... I'm gonna handle...

22:21🔗 Adam Drew, that is your job.

22:22🔗 Drew I'm gonna handle. I gotta have the oven...

22:24🔗 Adam You get a regular black light. Will that work? And what about vinegar? Or do you need a synthetic acid?

22:31🔗 Drew I wanna do it the way it's supposed to be done.

22:33🔗 Adam Well, then you procure the instruments. Ann will help me.

22:36🔗 Drew Ann will help me.

22:37🔗 Adam How is Ann gonna get medical supplies?

22:39🔗 Drew How am I gonna get them?

22:41🔗 Adam You're a doctor, Dilweed.

22:43🔗 Drew That's the point, the same way. Call a medical supply house.

22:46🔗 Adam No, call a dermatologist friend of yours.

22:49🔗 Drew Why would they give me their equipment?

22:51🔗 Adam Do you have friends that are in the business?

22:52🔗 Drew They are not gonna give me their equipment.

22:53🔗 Adam Listen, I used to work...

22:54🔗 Drew They use their goddamn equipment every day.

22:56🔗 Adam How dare you? I used to be a carpenter. I know plenty of guys who are carpenters. I could pick up the phone and call a guy and borrow a chop saw from one of the guys if I needed to because he's a carpenter and I'm a carpenter.

23:08🔗 Guest How about if there's a dermatologist listening in the area?

23:11🔗 Drew That's fine.

23:12🔗 Guest Call me.

23:13🔗 Drew That's fine. And you work on it with my staff.

23:15🔗 Adam Okay, good times. Okay, thank you.

23:17🔗 Drew How dare you? How dare you?

23:18🔗 Adam Don't you know any dermatologists?

23:21🔗 Drew Yes, and first thing in the morning, they need their equipment.

23:24🔗 Adam Well, you don't get it first thing in the morning. You ask if you could pick this thing up.

23:27🔗 Drew How am I getting it across town, back here, back to there? It's not gonna work. What happened?

23:32🔗 Adam Hey, you want the money.

23:35🔗 Drew I wanna get the big magnifying glass thing. I gotta see your penis.

23:41🔗 Adam And Drew, listen, you put an electron microscope on anything, you're gonna see something crawling around. Now, come on.

23:49🔗 Drew Oh, oh, Mr. Confident suddenly hedging.

23:51🔗 Adam You look with the naked eye.

23:52🔗 Drew No, no, no, no, no, no, no. These things are all set up with the magnifying glass.

23:55🔗 Adam I don't want you staring at my soul with that thing.

23:57🔗 Drew Let's take a break.

23:58🔗 Adam All right, that's fine. And listen, I'm gonna laugh like a hyena. And you know what I'm gonna spend that money on? Crack and hard candy. That's what I'm gonna spend your 100 bucks on, Drew. Cigarettes, booze, and if I have enough left, a hooker. All right. All right.

24:13🔗 Drew Enjoy.

24:14🔗 Adam We'll take a break. We'll be back. Oh, yeah. Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-191. And let's pop back on the phones, see what America is doing. Elizabeth.

25:05🔗 Hi.

25:06🔗 Adam You're 16. What's up?

25:08🔗 Caller Okay.

25:08🔗 The problem is my boyfriend is far, far away right now, and I'm absolutely in love with this guy.

25:14🔗 Adam Where is he?

25:15🔗 He's in England.

25:16🔗 Drew How old is he?

25:17🔗 He's 18. He's turned 18 today, actually.

25:19🔗 Drew How long has he been gone?

25:20🔗 He's been gone for three weeks.

25:21🔗 Drew All right.

25:22🔗 Adam What's he doing in England?

25:23🔗 His parents are Air Force, so he moved over there with them.

25:27🔗 Drew For good?

25:28🔗 He'll be back for college in the fall.

25:32🔗 Drew Okay.

25:32🔗 But my problem is that I'm having some serious commitment issues here. I'm driven by hormones. I have the functioning mind of a guy. I just, well, I think with my hormones here. But he's so far away and I absolutely love this guy and I want to spend forever with him. I mean, we've talked about this. We're both cool with, like, forever. We want our lives to be one from now on.

25:58🔗 Adam Yeah, everyone's cool with the concept of forever when they're 16.

26:02🔗 Drew The problem is the forever part.

26:03🔗 Well, see, no. I want the same thing, but I just don't want right now.

26:08🔗 Drew Elizabeth?

26:09🔗 Yeah?

26:09🔗 Drew Honest enough. That's a perfectly healthy place to be.

26:12🔗 Adam Break on up.

26:12🔗 Drew Yeah, don't be ashamed of that. Just that's right. That's where you are.

26:15🔗 But should I still try and stay friends with him? Because he's coming on coming and staying with me during college when he has nowhere to go.

26:21🔗 Adam During college. Where's he coming to college?

26:24🔗 Well, he's coming right down five hours away from me. His parents are in England. He has nowhere to go.

26:32🔗 Drew Where's he going to school?

26:33🔗 Virginia Tech.

26:34🔗 Adam Yeah, but he's going to live on campus.

26:37🔗 Drew Five hours away. He might as well be back in England. Yeah.

26:40🔗 Adam He's not going to drive five hours every weekend to come stay with you.

26:45🔗 Drew Yeah, this is over. This is over, Elizabeth. It's normal for your age, for life circumstance, to prevent these forever relationships from really being forever. They shouldn't be forever. You're 16. You need to get to know who you are with other people. That's fine. Maybe when you're both through college, you can reconnect or something.

26:59🔗 Adam All right. When you're done being a young slut, then maybe you guys get back together.

27:04🔗 Okay. Thanks, Adam. That's really encouraging.

27:06🔗 Adam All right.

27:06🔗 Drew Well, you sound fine, Elizabeth.

27:08🔗 Adam Yes. You're young, you're healthy, you're in full effect. All right.

27:12🔗 I love the show, guys.

27:12🔗 Adam Thank you very much.

27:13🔗 Adam, she did say that her dad was in Israel.

27:16🔗 Adam No. That one drop.

27:18🔗 Drew Let's hear it. Here it is.

27:20🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

27:21🔗 Guest My dad's in Israel.

27:23🔗 Adam Sarah, what's your dad doing in Israel?

27:24🔗 What's my dad doing in Israel?

27:28🔗 Drew Let's hear that again.

27:29🔗 Adam She said Israel. Yeah. She ended with an M. I got to give her that, but she started with the is.

27:35🔗 Drew Let's hear it again.

27:35🔗 Adam Where's your dad?

27:36🔗 Guest My dad's in Israel.

27:38🔗 Adam Sarah, what's your dad doing in Israel?

27:40🔗 What's my dad doing in Israel?

27:46🔗 Adam I don't know why that's funny.

27:49🔗 Drew We heard it the second time you can hear in his room.

27:51🔗 Adam If you say in his room, it'll be in his room, and if you say Israel, it'll sound Israel. But no, it does sound more like in his room.

27:57🔗 Drew But first time I heard Israel.

28:00🔗 Adam You heard Israel too?

28:02🔗 Drew Oh, yeah.

28:02🔗 Adam Israel. Yeah. Well, listen, we have a show where people say hello. So you never know. And listen, it is really, it's like at doing the show, even though we're speaking to English speaking people, you still have to do your best to kind of piece together the sentences.

28:19🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's America, it's America, baby.

28:22🔗 Adam Justin?

28:23🔗 Oh my gosh.

28:24🔗 Adam Yeah.

28:25🔗 It is great to be on the phone with you guys. I've been trying to get ahold of you for like two weeks.

28:29🔗 Adam Let me say this too, real quick. All you liberal types out there who want a billion different languages to be taught in every school. Listen, you crackpots, we can barely understand each other as it is. You don't want people to learn English in school. We've had people learning English already, it's not really working out. You want them learning 150 other different languages? This place is going to be total chaos in a matter of years. Please, how dare you? That drives me insane. As somebody says, hey, we should teach English in schools and some a-hole's got a problem with that. What the hell is that? What's wrong with everybody? And how come people can't just yell at these people and tell them to go back to the a-hole they crawled out of, namely their own country?

29:14🔗 Drew Well, part of it is we came from this liberal tradition the last 30 years. You can say that because you had hippie parents. You can see through all this.

29:21🔗 Adam Oh, it's total nonsense. Listen, everybody, please listen, you are here because your country is a dump. That's why you're here. Just everyone close your eyes for one second. Let's see. You're here and we're not there. Okay. And you know why you're here and we're not there? Because here is much better than there. That's why you came here. Now, here's our plan. Not to turn here into you're there, because you're there as a dump. So, please, let's not fight with that. And you guys shouldn't be doing, shouldn't be complaining either, because then you're not going to have anywhere to go. Your country sucks. Now, this country sucks. Where are you going? The moon? Please, we'll do the driving. It's really, it's like, it's as if you said, my house is dangerous. My house is a fire hazard. It's falling apart. Can I please come to your beautiful home? And then I come into your beautiful home and I go, okay, I got some changes I'd like to make. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Wait a minute. That's, remember your house? Your house is falling apart. Remember that? It's got rats and roaches. It's on fire half the time. That's your house. Don't worry. We'll handle our house. You should just go in the guest room and take a nap. That's what I want to say. That's the platform I'm going to run on. Go to the guest room, take a nap. Thank you. Justin?

30:48🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

30:48🔗 Drew So, Justin, what's going on?

30:50🔗 Caller Actually, I'd like to say, first of all, you guys do a great job. You guys really balance one another out. I've listened to you guys since I was probably 13 or 14, off and on through the years. You've helped me through a lot. I mean, just listen to some of the callers. My father died when I was 18.

31:07🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

31:09🔗 Caller And actually, it's kind of funny. Dr. Drew sort of got me interested in the health profession, you know, the interest in human beings helping other people. I'm a paramedic in Maryland now.

31:23🔗 Drew Fabulous.

31:24🔗 Adam How'd your dad die?

31:26🔗 Caller He suffered from cancer for four years.

31:29🔗 Drew What kind of cancer?

31:30🔗 Caller Pardon?

31:31🔗 Drew What kind of cancer?

31:32🔗 Caller He started out with bladder cancer.

31:34🔗 Caller And it turned...

31:36🔗 Drew How old was he?

31:37🔗 Caller He was 48 when he passed away.

31:38🔗 Drew With bladder cancer? Poison.

31:41🔗 Caller See, what happened was he was first diagnosed with bladder cancer when he retired. He was a police officer when he retired in 95.

31:50🔗 Drew That is so rare in that age. Most bladder cancer is much, much older men.

31:55🔗 Caller Yeah, and that was a surprising part. The first tumor was about the size of a dime. They missed a tumor the size of a quarter when they went in and did their minimally invasive surgery.

32:06🔗 Drew Yeah, yeah.

32:07🔗 Caller And he went to a specialist at Hopkins. Yeah. And they didn't do radiation. They did chemotherapy.

32:16🔗 Yeah.

32:17🔗 Caller And then they removed his bladder and did a new procedure where they actually made him a new bladder out of part of his colon.

32:27🔗 Yeah.

32:28🔗 Adam All right. Now I got to pee. All right. Hey, Justin, that's sad. But what's the question?

32:33🔗 Caller OK. I've been going out with my girlfriend since I was 17. She was 15. Her stepbrother molested her from the time she was 8 or 9 till the time she was 11. Now it's sort of a touchy subject. She still lives at home with her mother. Her mother sort of has mixed emotions about me because she was very young when she had kids and we were very young when we met and we've been close since then.

32:59🔗 Adam Where's stepdad now?

33:00🔗 Drew Stepbrother. Well, I know.

33:04🔗 Adam I just said stepdad because I figured he was attached to the brother.

33:08🔗 Caller Well, he lives with her mother. He's actually a good guy. He's sort of a quiet guy. But he's a good guy. The stepbrother, he lives with his mother.

33:20🔗 Adam So he's not living in that house?

33:22🔗 Caller No. Fortunately, he got out of the situation not long after.

33:27🔗 Adam Why is he a good guy?

33:29🔗 Caller The stepfather was a good guy. The stepbrother was not.

33:31🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

33:32🔗 Caller All right.

33:33🔗 Adam Now, okay. I brought that on myself by bringing stepdad into this. So the point is, how old was the stepbrother? How much older than his girlfriend?

33:41🔗 Caller He was 15 when he started.

33:42🔗 Drew At nine.

33:43🔗 Adam At nine.

33:43🔗 Drew Six years older.

33:44🔗 Adam Nine.

33:45🔗 Drew All right. So what is the question exactly?

33:46🔗 Caller Okay. Well, my question is, should she in fact bring this point up with her mother?

33:52🔗 Drew No. She should bring it up with a therapist.

33:54🔗 With a therapist.

33:55🔗 Caller That's what I try to tell you. I try to express upon her the same feelings that I have that she really needs to figure it out for herself before she brings it up to her mother.

34:05🔗 Drew What would her goal be in hamming her mother with this except that she's pissed?

34:08🔗 Caller I think it's a lot of closure.

34:10🔗 Drew No.

34:11🔗 Caller Her and her mother have been close, but I think there's sort of been a gap between them because she's felt like she's sort of had to protect her mother from that. She's grown up with her mother having to support two kids that she had when she was young and everything else. And she doesn't want to have to confront her mother with this fact that when she was young, she was neglected.

34:33🔗 Adam I don't think it's a big deal for her to bring it up to her mother, but she should then get some therapy.

34:38🔗 Drew I don't think it'll do much for her if I bring it up to her.

34:40🔗 Adam No, it's not. But you're carrying around something. You're not telling somebody something, and then you're resenting the person for you not telling them something because you've concocted a situation in your mind where they're not going to be able to handle it or they would reject it. So you end up resenting them, and then they're walking around and they don't know why you're resenting them. They deserve to know if you're going to make it an issue.

35:04🔗 Drew That's true, but the mom has a certain amount of resistance to the truth, I'm sure, and that's why it's not easy for her to lay it on her.

35:12🔗 Adam Well, mom must have a certain blind eye and a certain deaf ear because how can your daughter be molested in your own house for five years and you not know about it?

35:22🔗 Drew I don't think it's going to be, it certainly is going to create closure and it's not going to be very gratifying talking to mom about it. She's just pissed that mom let it happen. Yeah. And that's normal, that's fine.

35:30🔗 Adam She should be. That's dropping the ball and brought it into the house. Charles, oh boy. And listen, all you screwballs out there, you bring a 14, 15, 16 year old stepson into a house and you got a daughter floating around there, expect some raping, some goosing, some molesting. Expect it. I'm going to give the kid a dollar for every day he doesn't molest my kid if I get into that situation. Do you know what I'm saying?

36:01🔗 Drew It's, you need a stronger word than expect.

36:04🔗 Adam Assume.

36:04🔗 Drew Assume.

36:05🔗 Adam Predict.

36:05🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:07🔗 Adam It's going to happen. You take a 15-year-old male, especially guys, he's coming from a broken family. He's probably a little whacked out. You bring this 15-year-old male into a house and tell him to sleep in the same room or a wall away from your 10-year-old daughter or 11-year-old daughter, whoever it is, or a 15-year-old daughter. Whatever it is, expect something's going to happen.

36:29🔗 Drew Assume it's happening. I think that's it.

36:31🔗 Adam It happens constantly. And I don't know why, because people think, you know, the kids are like, hey, you got married. I ain't married. I mean, this chick who's now my sister, I saw her at the wedding.

36:44🔗 Drew She was at my class last week.

36:45🔗 Adam She looked hot. Yeah. No way. And I don't think you're going to talk anybody out of that at 15.

36:51🔗 Drew Well, the presumption is that...

36:51🔗 Adam Now, hopefully they're not going to go down to a 9-year-old, but I'm more so talking about if you got a 13, 14-year-old girl in that situation. All right. Tiffany?

37:00🔗 Guest Yeah.

37:01🔗 Adam You're 15.

37:02🔗 Guest Yeah.

37:03🔗 Adam Your ex-boyfriend wants you back.

37:05🔗 Guest Yeah.

37:05🔗 Adam But only for sex.

37:06🔗 Guest Yeah.

37:07🔗 Adam All righty. Sounds like a fair trade.

37:10🔗 Oh.

37:10🔗 Adam He's up front, though. You got to give him that.

37:12🔗 Drew How old is he?

37:12🔗 Well, he... No, he never really said that, though.

37:15🔗 Drew How old is he?

37:16🔗 17.

37:18🔗 Adam He didn't say sex. He said for some of that.

37:20🔗 Well, like... Because we fooled around when we were together, and now, like, he called me and, like, alerted his house and stuff, and that's all he wants to do, and he won't call me to talk to me and stuff.

37:30🔗 Adam All right, welcome to the United States and the planet Earth.

37:34🔗 Drew This is the introduction to the Y chromosome.

37:37🔗 Adam Yes, enjoy. So just break up. You know what he wants, you know what he's about. Don't go over there anymore.

37:43🔗 Drew Because he's having sex with you, it doesn't mean he gives a damn. Yeah. It's so hard for women to accept that. Well, they can't... Help them, please. When I say it, it seems to fall on deaf ears.

37:55🔗 Adam We have guys humping two pillows, and his girlfriend. You know what I mean? Seventeen year old guys especially.

38:02🔗 Drew Seventeen to like 1920. Oh, forget it.

38:06🔗 Adam Thirty. I mean...

38:07🔗 Drew Yeah, 24, yeah.

38:08🔗 Adam Yeah. Believe him. He wants sex. He'll keep that going with everyone he's ever been with. Every guy will.

38:15🔗 Yeah.

38:15🔗 Adam You gotta cut it off. You have to be the strong ones, ladies, except for with me. We'll take a little break and we'll be back after this.

38:24🔗 Hello? Is this Loveline?

38:26🔗 Call 1-800-LOVE-191. Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back.

39:10🔗 Yeah.

39:14🔗 Adam It's the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over the air phone. I'm at 1-800-LOVE-191. Kari Wurr, Crazy Kari Wurr is going to be in here tomorrow night. Thank you. Kari is an actress that people don't know by name that well. I mean, I don't mean that as a slight to her, but not everyone knows Kari Wurr's name. But if you saw her, you'd go, oh yeah, she's that cute chick who was in those 100 movies.

39:39🔗 Drew Anaconda.

39:40🔗 Adam Right. Right. In however many other projects and movies.

39:45🔗 Drew Sorry, it's something else. But you know what they are, Kari, she looks different every single time.

39:49🔗 Adam Yes.

39:49🔗 Drew She plays, she's a good actress. She looks different.

39:52🔗 Adam Yeah. Yeah. I do too. I have an ever-changing look. Sometimes my hair is brillo-y and then sometimes it's extra brillo-y. Thank you. I saw Kari on and David Allen Grier, but not on the same show, but just a couple of days apart. Have you guys been noticing all these beach shows where celebrities are running around, they're at Sandals Resort in Jamaica, and they're having a jet ski race or something? There's all these things going on. She was hosting some whatever, and now that I know how it works, I know how it works, which is these places say, hey, listen, we'll fly you and whoever, boyfriend, husband, friend, neighbor, we'll fly you down to Jamaica, you stay at the Sandals Resort, everything will be paid, you'll stay there for an entire week, and all we need is two days of you doing a little half day filming stuff, and everyone just goes, eh, sounds cool. They go down and do it, and then they have, I guess the producers cut a deal with these resorts or whatever, and now they have a show that they didn't have to really pay anybody for. And the resort has a commercial for the resort, and everyone's happy. Meanwhile, I could see David Alan Greer on a jet ski.

41:06🔗 Drew I just saw him in Rocking Bullwinkle over the weekend.

41:10🔗 Adam How was that Rocking Bullwinkle? Bad?

41:13🔗 Drew Not bad.

41:14🔗 Adam Not good.

41:15🔗 Drew Missed some opportunities. You know what I mean? There's so much, there was a couple of really clever things where I laughed out loud. I thought, God, if it had only been a lot of that. How, uh, you know what I mean?

41:24🔗 Adam So you're saying you laughed, and you said, if only there was a lot more of those parts where I laughed. In the movie. Let me write that down. I may make a movie one day.

41:32🔗 Drew Well, because there was tons of opportunity for clever stuff, but it just was sort of not taking it seriously.

41:36🔗 Adam And how was David Allen's career?

41:37🔗 Drew He was his usual self.

41:38🔗 Adam Which is good.

41:39🔗 Drew Which is good.

41:40🔗 Adam Yeah. And how do they get a guy like De Niro in that movie?

41:43🔗 Drew How does that work? There was, everybody in Hollywood did a cameo in that film.

41:47🔗 Adam Yeah, how does it work? You know how it works? Here's how it works.

41:51🔗 Drew I thought about this. His friend's the producer.

41:52🔗 Adam Anderson, you may want to listen up here, because I know you're in a movie.

41:55🔗 Drew His friend's the producer.

41:56🔗 Adam Okay, Drew? No. I need to shut up. Here's how this works. De Niro, I suspect De Niro is a little insane. I really do. I think he's nuts. I think the reason he doesn't do any of these talk shows, Leno or Letterman and all that kind of stuff, the reason he rarely does any of that stuff is because he's insane. Not because he's just some reclusive genius. I think he's nuts. But here's how it works. I'm so scared. I'm so scared.

42:22🔗 Caller I'm so scared.

42:25🔗 Adam I think the way it works is this. I think somebody says, we gotta film. We should take the budget for the money that we're gonna pay the actors and some of the special effects and everything. We'll give it all to De Niro. We'll give De Niro like 15 million bucks and we'll tell him it's only gonna be like six days work. So we'll give all this money to De Niro. Okay, good. Now we got De Niro signed on. Now De Niro signed on. All we gotta do is we'll go to every other lesser celebrity and everyone's a lesser celebrity than De Niro. And we'll go, hey David Allen-Greer, you wanna do Rocking Bullwinkle? Please kiss my black ass. De Niro's doing it.

42:59🔗 Drew Oh, where do I sign? You'll be working with De Niro?

43:02🔗 Adam You'll be working with De Niro. And then they just go from one celebrity to the next going De Niro's on board. Now, seriously, if you're an actor and there's a project and it's Rocking Bullwinkle or whatever, and you're like, geez, I don't know, we'll call you, and they go De Niro's doing it, well now you're all ears. So you're smart, you get De Niro first, and then you get a whole bunch of other celebs to do cameos, because De Niro did it.

43:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

43:28🔗 Caller Thank you.

43:30🔗 Adam I think that must be how it works.

43:31🔗 Drew Do you think all great actors are insane?

43:34🔗 Adam I think all actors that play-

43:36🔗 Drew Insane people.

43:37🔗 Adam Insane people are insane, and therefore not great actors, just people that are out who should be institutionalized. That's my feeling. Why is it sort of magically that all these guys that are nuts in movies turn out to be nuts?

43:50🔗 Drew Have you seen John Malkovich?

43:53🔗 Adam Yeah, I know John Malkovich has to be nuts. He's got to be nuts, because he plays nuts in everything. But he's a great actor. I got to give him that, and De Niro is a great actor.

44:03🔗 Drew He plays sort of interesting more than that.

44:06🔗 Adam Listen, anyone who saw Raging Bull has to know that De Niro has to know. One of the greatest movies of all time. Daniel?

44:15🔗 Caller Hey, what's up?

44:15🔗 Adam You're 13.

44:16🔗 Caller Yeah. First of all, I want to say, Dr. Drew, Adam, you guys are the best.

44:21🔗 Adam Thank you.

44:22🔗 Caller All right. I want to say I had some problems on my penis. I got some, it's really like dry and itchy, and it stings a lot, and it's been bleeding lately.

44:34🔗 Drew The skin?

44:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

44:35🔗 Drew Do you have other rashes anywhere else?

44:39🔗 Caller I guess a little bit around the waist and under the armpits.

44:44🔗 Drew Okay. How long have you had this for?

44:46🔗 Adam First I was going to say he's whacking off with aqua-velva again, but no?

44:50🔗 Caller No.

44:50🔗 Adam Under the arms?

44:51🔗 Drew Well, I'll tell you what, that distribution, anything around your ankles?

44:55🔗 Caller No.

44:56🔗 Adam Scabies?

44:57🔗 Drew Scabies, yeah.

44:58🔗 Adam Yeah. I could be a doctor. Yeah.

45:00🔗 Drew You worry about it. How long have you had this for?

45:04🔗 Caller Well, the penising I have had for maybe a couple of weeks.

45:09🔗 Drew How about the other rash?

45:11🔗 Caller Well, I have been off and on under the other places and the other places.

45:15🔗 Drew You need to see a dermatologist or at least a regular doctor about this because you might get some over-the-counter cortisone cream and start with that. But this could be scabies.

45:22🔗 Adam They have a super high octane brand that has a whole whopping 1% now that you can buy.

45:27🔗 Drew You can actually get 1%.

45:28🔗 Adam Over-the-counter. And let me tell you, that's impressive.

45:31🔗 Drew And to get 2.5%, you need a prescription.

45:32🔗 Adam That's really impressive. There's nothing better than going and buying some cortisone with the big lettering on the front. Now, 1% strength. Put the 1% behind anything. Not real impressive. Not impressive. Even if it only went up to 4%, still not impressive. Well, now wait a minute.

45:49🔗 Drew Your logic doesn't hold. 1%. Because the stronger cortisone creams, the flucenilide and that kind of stuff, is a 25, 1000th of a percent. The really strong stuff.

46:02🔗 Adam So you're saying the lower the percentage, the better?

46:04🔗 Drew I'm just saying the stuff that's prescription is fractions of percentages because they're so potent.

46:09🔗 Adam Yeah, but 1% hydrocortisone..025%..001%. Nobody knows what you're talking about, including you at this point.

46:19🔗 Drew The 1% is relative really just to what the potency of whatever it is you're talking about. The prescription.

46:26🔗 Adam It's not 1% hydrocortisone.

46:28🔗 Drew It's 1% hydrocortisone.

46:30🔗 Adam Right.

46:30🔗 Drew Okay.

46:31🔗 Adam That's not impressive.

46:32🔗 Drew The stuff you get prescription is 1, 1000th of a percent of something stronger.

46:38🔗 Adam Okay. But if it was hydrocortisone, it'd be 2.5. It'd be terrible. Please quiet down now. Star?

46:47🔗 Yeah.

46:47🔗 Adam You're 18?

46:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:49🔗 Adam The only way you can fall asleep is to masturbate?

46:51🔗 Sometimes.

46:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

46:52🔗 Adam Sometimes?

46:53🔗 Caller It's not always.

46:54🔗 Adam Okay.

46:56🔗 Please.

46:57🔗 Adam Is that a question? Sometimes the only... And by the way, that's not a correct sentence. Is it sometimes the only way I can fall asleep?

47:06🔗 Drew No. It doesn't fit. Non sequitur.

47:08🔗 Adam Thank you. All right.

47:10🔗 Drew We're breaking early.

47:10🔗 Adam Go ahead and masturbate.

47:11🔗 Drew You seem to be set to go. What's going on? You have to pee or something?

47:14🔗 Adam No, I don't. You're right. Charles? Hello? You're 28. Just found out your girlfriend is really only 15.

47:20🔗 Drew Let's take a break. You're gone already. Let's take a break.

47:24🔗 Adam Well, listen. Thank God we dedicated the last hour to your microgram.

47:29🔗 Drew The hour before that was De Niro's Nettiness. Come on.

47:32🔗 Adam Okay, but that was provocative talk radio.

47:34🔗 Drew How dare you refer to a genius like that as nut?

47:37🔗 Adam Listen, you don't know how to sell the How Dare You. I'm going to do it one more time and you're going to have to take notes.

47:44🔗 Drew How dare you?

47:45🔗 Adam It's good to gasp a little. And let me explain, everybody, the How Dare You you do twice. The first one is a caught off guard. You're still processing the information, How Dare You. And the second one comes when the anger has built and you've really been able to sort of digest the insult that has been put forth to you.

48:05🔗 Drew And by the way, please don't think Adam is just doing this on the radio. We have to listen to How Dare You all day long now.

48:09🔗 Adam All day at the office, yeah. Yeah, so here's how it goes. So the first How Dare You is a sort of, like I said, I'm still processing the information and the second one is just outrage. All right, you ready?

48:18🔗 Caller Yeah.

48:21🔗 Adam How dare you? How dare you? You see? So it's good to go. Thank you. Thank you very much. Back in a minute. Yeah, I got to get a drum kit just so I can do that thing on the cymbal, you know? Oh, not this part. I couldn't do that.

49:22🔗 Drew You couldn't do the first part either. It is for you.

49:25🔗 Adam I feel I have the makings of a great drummer.

49:28🔗 Drew And guitar player. I've seen you play air guitar.

49:31🔗 Adam Yeah.

49:31🔗 Drew That's it.

49:32🔗 Adam Yeah, that's what I could have done. Well, every time. Well, next time John Popper comes in here, I'm gonna bring my drum kit in. All right, what'd you do there, Drew?

49:41🔗 Drew Nothing.

49:42🔗 Adam All righty, it's the Loveline. Oh yeah, it's a little blues trailer. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Kari Wehrer from Remote Control, fresh off her hot series Remote Control on MTV. I'll be in here tomorrow night. Hopefully, I'm gonna pick her up because she lives down the street from me. I think I just roll down the hill, honk the horn and go get her. Charles?

50:08🔗 Caller Hi, yeah, this is Charles.

50:10🔗 Adam That's right. You're 28, you just found out your girlfriend was 15?

50:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:15🔗 Drew How old did you think she was?

50:16🔗 Caller She told me she was 18 when I met her.

50:18🔗 Drew Still pretty good age spread there, isn't there Charles? 18 and 28?

50:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

50:23🔗 Adam Yeah.

50:24🔗 Drew Yeah.

50:24🔗 Adam Charles, you're pretty desperate, huh?

50:26🔗 Caller Well, no, I mean, I was in Korea when I met her on a vacation.

50:30🔗 Adam I see. Hey, remember last night I was talking about how all Koreans are mean?

50:35🔗 Caller No, she's not Korean, she's Russian.

50:36🔗 Adam I know. There's a mean culture too. But do you find that the Koreans are mean?

50:43🔗 Caller Well, not mean, but their culture is different.

50:45🔗 Adam Yeah. Whereas they yell at people and shoot them?

50:48🔗 Caller They just don't smile that much.

50:49🔗 Adam Yeah. They're not a happy people.

50:51🔗 Drew What was it, Megan told you again last night?

50:52🔗 Adam Actually, I was trying to think. Who do you think, I still think Iranian are the meanest, those are the meanest people.

51:01🔗 Drew No, I don't think that's the media images of them.

51:04🔗 Adam Oh, no, no, I've dealt with a few of them.

51:07🔗 Caller I think it's something about your neighbor wanting to kill you.

51:10🔗 Adam Yeah, Iranians, you get caught for adultery and they bury you out in the street and run over your head with a jeep and stuff like that.

51:18🔗 Drew Your neighbor wanted to kill you?

51:19🔗 Adam What's that?

51:20🔗 Caller Well, you're right.

51:21🔗 Adam Oh, my neighbor, yeah, yeah. Well, I think she was Israeli.

51:25🔗 Caller North Korea.

51:25🔗 Drew I didn't hear about this story.

51:27🔗 Adam Wait, you're talking about my pain in the ass neighbor?

51:29🔗 Drew Oh, the woman with the sun?

51:30🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know what she was. The whole Middle East, a bunch of pissed off people over there. Why shouldn't there be no water, sun, and a bunch of ugly broads running around?

51:37🔗 Drew What was it the Minca told you that night?

51:39🔗 Adam Minca?

51:40🔗 Drew Yeah.

51:40🔗 Adam I'm number one Oriental big boob queen. That's right. And then she said, everyone love me because I have big breasts and I'm skinny. My plastic surgeon tell me I have thick skin. That's why I can have big boob. Thickest skin he ever seen. Really? Yes. He said very thick skin. He said most Korean broad skin, 10 mil. Mine 25 mil thick. That's how they measure skin in Korea. It's great. Hey, Charles.

52:14🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

52:15🔗 Adam So people in Korea don't smile too much.

52:17🔗 Caller No.

52:18🔗 Adam What do they got to smile about if you think about it?

52:20🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, North Korea wants to take them over.

52:22🔗 Adam Right. Never since Minca left the whole country's been in mourning. All right. So you found out your girlfriend was 50. Where were you over there? In the service?

52:31🔗 Caller No. I was vacationing. I'm a writer, freelance writer.

52:35🔗 Adam I see. What do you write for?

52:37🔗 Caller Travel journals.

52:39🔗 Adam I see. Hey, would you agree with me when I say that most writers are whack jobs?

52:44🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:45🔗 Adam Yeah. They're screwed up people. Writers? Yeah. They're amongst the most screwed up people. Any kind.

52:52🔗 Drew The journalist. He's a journalist.

52:53🔗 Adam Well, travel journals maybe not, but creative writing. That's what I consider creative, isn't it?

52:58🔗 Caller Definitely creative writing.

53:00🔗 Drew What's artists? Creative writers.

53:02🔗 Adam What do you do? Like, soul on 25 bucks a day? No.

53:07🔗 Caller Just look at the art of different countries, and I just was getting soul.

53:11🔗 Adam Okay. So the point is that you got yourself a 15-year-old white check, right?

53:14🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:15🔗 Adam And you're 28.

53:17🔗 Drew From Minsk.

53:18🔗 Adam And you should know better, right?

53:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:21🔗 Adam And how did you find out she was 15?

53:24🔗 Caller She told me after we stayed three days together. I met her parents, her parents, even tell me how old her daughter was.

53:30🔗 Adam Okay. Well, you got to break up.

53:32🔗 Caller Okay.

53:34🔗 Adam I know you're disappointed, but.

53:35🔗 Caller Yeah. I mean, she's a really nice person.

53:36🔗 Adam She's a great girl. Yeah, she's a great girl. Girl. Little girl. She's a great little, great. She'll make a fine 10th grader next year. Okay. I'll tell you, when she gets in that 10th grade, she's really going to blossom. All right? All right, Charles?

53:51🔗 Caller What if I kept in contact and then, you know, maybe five years down the road?

53:54🔗 Adam Hold on a second.

53:55🔗 Caller You sicken me.

53:56🔗 Adam Remember what I was talking about with riders? They're all whack jobs. And historically, think about some of these riders.

54:04🔗 Drew Dylan Thomas, Hemingway.

54:05🔗 Adam All pieces of work, all of them. Think about them. Charles, come on, buddy. He's 28, down the road when you're 31 and she's 17 and a half. That down the road or how far down the road we going? And listen.

54:21🔗 Caller I don't know. You know, you just.

54:22🔗 Adam Okay. But Charles, what's up that you can't get chicks?

54:26🔗 Caller Again, I get plenty of them, actually.

54:27🔗 Adam All right. Good.

54:29🔗 Caller She's a nice person, you know, and we've had great days with her.

54:33🔗 Adam Hope he doesn't marry her. I know. But really, I mean, here's, okay, here's what I want to say. You can't meet quality women. Do you know what I mean? I mean, you're one decent date away from a quality 23-year-old chick. You really are. And there's got to be a part of you that's semi-desperate. And listen to me, y'all. People always do that. They get really individual about stuff. She's a dynamite 15-year-old. You don't know this 15-year-old? Yeah. She just got her braces off. She looks hot. She's going for her learner's permit next year. It's going to be great. She gets her own wheels. She doesn't have to, her dad doesn't have to drop her off to my apartment so I can bang the bejesus out of her for three days and three nights. Listen, everybody, the day some decent-looking 25-year-old with a job and her head screwed on half straight comes into your life, you're done with this one. You know what I mean? All these guys that are madly in love, think about it. You can't get anything else. That's what you should focus on, not clinging on to the one you're not supposed to have with two hands, but figuring out why it is you can't get anybody else. That's what you got to focus on. John, you're 18.

55:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:44🔗 Adam What's up?

55:45🔗 Caller I do acid a lot, like almost every day. Wow.

55:50🔗 Adam Every day?

55:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:52🔗 Adam Wow.

55:53🔗 Caller At school and stuff, during the sixth period, I drop a couple.

55:56🔗 Adam A couple?

55:57🔗 Caller Yeah. Wow. About five.

55:59🔗 Adam No, you don't do five.

56:02🔗 Caller Well, I've been selling it, so my tolerance has been going up.

56:06🔗 Drew Yeah, he's right. Your tolerance will go up if you're doing it every day.

56:08🔗 Caller What? Yeah.

56:09🔗 Adam What kind of buzz do you get after five tabs?

56:14🔗 Caller I just, I don't know, I trip hard and I just can't go to sleep. And I was just wondering what the effect on it will be.

56:22🔗 Adam No negative effect. You'll be fine.

56:24🔗 Drew Sean, what do you think?

56:25🔗 Adam Well, you'll be able to sell drugs for almost the rest of your life.

56:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:30🔗 Drew Even if he'll lose capacity for that, he keeps going at this pace.

56:32🔗 Adam Oh, really?

56:33🔗 Drew Yeah.

56:36🔗 Caller And another thing, last night, the chick called in and said that she gets a gram for 100 bucks of coke.

56:43🔗 Adam Yeah.

56:44🔗 Caller I get an eight ball, which is 3 and 1 half for 80 bucks.

56:48🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. I was outraged.

56:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

56:51🔗 Drew John.

56:52🔗 Caller I can make money off of her.

56:53🔗 Drew John, the acid will damage your brain. It already has.

56:58🔗 Adam Yeah, it already sounds like Victor Hugo. I'm trying to think of who the guy who played the Hunchback.

57:09🔗 Drew Yeah, Quasimodo.

57:10🔗 Adam Yeah. Victor Hugo? Look that up, Anderson.

57:16🔗 Drew Boris, no.

57:17🔗 Adam Yeah, he already sounds like the sidekick to a mad professor.

57:22🔗 Drew Right. Yeah, Igor.

57:24🔗 Adam Igor. There he goes. Hey, John.

57:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

57:30🔗 Adam John, really, you're screwing, oh boy. Stop taking acid.

57:34🔗 Caller Okay.

57:35🔗 Adam Please, buddy, you're destroying yourself.

57:38🔗 Caller What about, like, to go to sleep, because I can't go to sleep after?

57:42🔗 Drew You should consult, really, you need to consult with a doctor, because what you've done to yourself will have long-term effects.

57:49🔗 Caller Like what?

57:50🔗 Drew Well, mostly mood problems. That's going to be the big issue. It's going to be extremely difficult to, you're going to have a lot of panic attacks.

57:59🔗 Adam Where are your parents?

58:01🔗 Caller My dad kicked me out of the house because I tried to cut his throat, and my mom left me when I was, I don't know, about five years old.

58:09🔗 Adam Hold on a second, was his throat still attached to him, holding his head on?

58:13🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:13🔗 Adam Okay, then that's not right.

58:15🔗 Drew Was he, is he beating the crap out of you?

58:17🔗 Caller No, no, no, he was just talking about me behind my back.

58:20🔗 Adam Ooh, I remember the one time my dad tried to drop a dime on me, I heard him talking to my stepmom about that, something to do with the laundry. I kicked the door right in, put a shiv in him.

58:30🔗 Drew Is he your biological father?

58:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:33🔗 Adam Yeah. Hey, John.

58:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:35🔗 Adam Why don't you just go, is there a prison nearby you can just sneak into?

58:40🔗 Caller Oh, I just got out.

58:42🔗 Adam Oh, you did?

58:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

58:44🔗 Drew What were you in for?

58:45🔗 Caller Assault with the deadly weapon, aggravated assault.

58:49🔗 Adam With your dad?

58:50🔗 Caller Yeah. With my dad and my little brother.

58:53🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

58:54🔗 Caller They tried to hold me down and I kicked my little brother in the head a couple of times and stuff.

58:59🔗 Adam All right. Well, I'm sure he had it coming. Hey, John, where do you live?

59:02🔗 Caller Huntington Beach.

59:03🔗 Adam Okay, good. You don't have a car, do you?

59:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I do.

59:06🔗 Adam Uh-oh. What kind of range does that baby have?

59:09🔗 Caller Suburban right now.

59:11🔗 Adam Oh, man.

59:12🔗 Drew How'd you get that?

59:13🔗 Adam He deals drugs. Listen, John, promise me you'll never put more than a quarter tank in that thing. I don't want you coming out to LA.

59:20🔗 Drew All right, bro.

59:21🔗 Adam All right. Now listen, John, seriously, you're really going to hurt yourself with this acid. You're really going to, you're really hurting yourself.

59:28🔗 Drew That's not an issue to John, though.

59:29🔗 Adam You got, you're going to, your life will be over. It really will. You'll be walking around brain dead. You'll be like, you'll be like that suburban with no computer. You'll just be sitting in the driveway looking brand new. Won't work. You know what I mean? You've got, you've got to stop with the acid. You got to talk to a doctor.

59:46🔗 Drew Maybe this is a job for cannabis.

59:48🔗 Adam Start smoking weed. Please start smoking weed. Oh my God. Listen, if I was in control, I'd just put him down right now. I really would. Here's what I would determine. I would determine that something's going to happen eventually. Let's just nip it in the bud. You know what I mean? Here's when I'm in charge. Here's how I'm going to approach crime, by the way. First off, profiling. That's all I'm going off of. That's all I'm going to do. You look like a troublemaker. I don't care what color you are. I don't care what sex you are. I'm going to find the ethnicity, the sex, and the age that causes the most trouble. I'm going to pull them over constantly. You know why? Because I'm smart. That's what you do when you try to eliminate problems. You figure out whatever race, whatever race it is, whatever sex it is, and whatever age it is, whoever that is that's causing the most trouble, they get pulled over the most. That's number one. Why? Because pulling over old broads in new cars don't find as many guns and drugs. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm going to be more efficient with my officer's time. That's number one. Number two, none of this sitting around waiting for crime to happen. I'm going to start putting criminals down before they become criminals. When I deem them criminals. That's right.

1:01:14🔗 Drew Criminality will not be determined by behavior or accountability.

1:01:17🔗 Adam No. Posture.

1:01:19🔗 Drew Jeans plus environment, that's it.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Yes. Jeans, it's how high you wear your jeans and how slow you walk when you're crossing the street. Megan?

1:01:28🔗 Caller Yes.

1:01:29🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:01:30🔗 Caller Yes.

1:01:31🔗 Adam By the way, when I'm in charge, any healthy person who drags their ass across the street in the middle of the intersection can be clipped at no expense or any legal prosecution brought on the motorists. As a matter of fact, accommodation will be given out to them. Any snot-nosed, punky 15-year-old kids who drag their ass across the middle of the street, not in an intersection or crosswalk, who get clipped by a car, it will be completely their fault.

1:01:58🔗 Drew Did that just happen to you over here in Colbert City?

1:01:59🔗 Adam It happens everywhere. They will have to pay for the damage done to the car if they survive. That will be my process. Listen, I see some snot-nosed 15-year-old kid dragging his sorry ass across the street with a pissed-off look on his face. I go right at him. I really do. I don't slow down for a second. If he don't get out of the way, he's getting clipped. And they get out of the way. I have no problem with that. Zero problem. When I was a kid, I ran across the street. All you punks, start running. Megan?

1:02:26🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:02:26🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:02:27🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:02:27🔗 Adam What's up?

1:02:29🔗 Guest Well, I was raped when I was 14 years old.

1:02:32🔗 Drew By whom?

1:02:34🔗 Guest Huh?

1:02:34🔗 Drew By whom?

1:02:35🔗 Guest It was a friend of mine. He was like a friend of the family.

1:02:40🔗 Adam I was going to say that. It always sounds funny. A friend of the family. So, okay. Yeah. How old was he at the time?

1:02:46🔗 Drew 20.

1:02:47🔗 Caller He was 18.

1:02:48🔗 Adam 18. Whose friend was he?

1:02:51🔗 Guest Well, it was my mom and his mom were really good friends growing up. His mom had moved away and then they moved back to my town where I live in now.

1:03:01🔗 Adam Did your mom and his mom go to high school together or something? Hold on a second. How surreal, bizarre, and sad is that? Yeah. I mean, you're good chum.

1:03:10🔗 Drew No, actually, they grew up together, went to high school together.

1:03:12🔗 Adam You're good chum from high school. One day, God willing, your son will grow up and rape my daughter. You know what I mean?

1:03:21🔗 Drew There's your next script.

1:03:23🔗 Adam Yeah. Isn't that surreal?

1:03:26🔗 Drew It's terrible.

1:03:26🔗 Adam All right, Megan. So what happened? Did you ever call the cops or try to do anything?

1:03:31🔗 Guest Yeah, there was a big ordeal on it.

1:03:33🔗 Adam And that's good.

1:03:35🔗 Drew Yeah, it was good.

1:03:36🔗 Guest Yeah, he got in a lot of trouble on everything.

1:03:38🔗 Adam Good. Good. You're healthy. You stood up.

1:03:41🔗 Guest Yeah. And I have a boyfriend now and he moved to my town when he was when we were 15 years old. And we started dating then. And he doesn't know about what's going on. And he's kind of been leaning towards the sex deal. And I really, really am not ready to have sex.

1:04:01🔗 Adam What happened with the rape? I mean, were you dating this guy? No.

1:04:06🔗 Drew Was it a violent rape?

1:04:07🔗 Guest Yeah.

1:04:08🔗 Drew Did you have any treatment for it?

1:04:10🔗 Caller Well, I'm still in counseling now.

1:04:12🔗 Drew Good. Megan, that's fine. I think you should tell your boyfriend.

1:04:16🔗 Guest I think I should too. And my mom thinks I should. And I've talked to my mom about it.

1:04:21🔗 Adam Oh, Lord.

1:04:23🔗 Drew What did your therapist say?

1:04:23🔗 Adam Hold on a second. How's your mom, by the way, with her best friend now?

1:04:28🔗 Guest They're still friends. It didn't affect their friendship. And I didn't want them.

1:04:33🔗 Drew Adam, when you have kids, we'll be best buddies.

1:04:36🔗 Adam Your mother's a woman of strong convictions. I like that. She's going to have to let a little rape come between her and a good high school child.

1:04:43🔗 Guest I didn't want to tell my mom because I didn't want them to be torn apart.

1:04:46🔗 Drew Of course not. You feel responsible for that. The adults are responsible here. That's the point.

1:04:51🔗 Adam Yeah. Where were they and where were you and how did this happen?

1:04:54🔗 Guest He was watching me and my little brother and his mom went out for the evening.

1:04:59🔗 Drew He was the babysitter.

1:05:01🔗 Guest He was watching us.

1:05:03🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:05:04🔗 Guest My little brother was downstairs watching a movie and I was upstairs using the bathroom and he came in.

1:05:10🔗 Adam You were 14, huh?

1:05:12🔗 Guest Yes.

1:05:13🔗 Adam Yeah. This guy, boy, I'm so glad you called the cops or whatever.

1:05:18🔗 Guest It was a while afterwards.

1:05:19🔗 Drew That's all right. It's full scale predator.

1:05:22🔗 Adam Good for you. All right. So listen, how old is your boyfriend now?

1:05:25🔗 Drew He is 16. Good.

1:05:27🔗 Adam Listen, I wouldn't tell him.

1:05:29🔗 Drew You wouldn't?

1:05:29🔗 Adam No.

1:05:30🔗 Drew He's going to pressure the hell out of her.

1:05:31🔗 Adam Now, I'm telling you and maybe this is just my own projection. I think he's going to freak out a little bit. I think it's weird. It's weird for a 16-year-old guy.

1:05:42🔗 Drew Sometimes, though, maybe he's a little bit of a caretaker. It'll make him back off a little bit.

1:05:46🔗 Adam Did you say jack off?

1:05:47🔗 Drew No. Well, he's already doing that. Back off.

1:05:49🔗 Adam Oh. Listen, hold on a second. I got to talk to her. Here's the deal. You know when you're 16 and you're extra hell, when you're 18 or 19 and you're actually super weird about like-

1:06:00🔗 Drew Everything.

1:06:00🔗 Adam Ex-boyfriends and partners and prom dates and all that stuff, this rape thing is really going to haunt the guy. I mean, it'll screw him up. He'll really be thinking about it all the time. He will. It'll whack him out. You're 16, you stay with your counseling, and you explain to him that, you know, hey, you're not ready. If he doesn't respect that, he doesn't respect that. Listen, there are reasons why people aren't ready. It's not always rape. What if it's not rape? Do you have to explain it? You have to explain the next reason?

1:06:37🔗 Drew People do, typically. Here's why I'm not ready. This is what I'm in.

1:06:40🔗 Adam Well, no. I mean, let's say you're a 16-year-old girl.

1:06:44🔗 Drew Let's say I'm not ready.

1:06:46🔗 Adam Well, let's say you're a 16-year-old girl. You're not ready. Maybe you were brought up in such a way that, you know, it suggests that you're not going to be ready for another couple of years. You want to be with them for a little more time or whatever it is. I mean, do you need a definitive reason as to why they're not ready at 16? And if he can't respect that, then forget it. Meanwhile, you keep going with your counseling. And, you know, I know it's tough, but, you know, not every man represents this rapist guy, and not every sexual encounter is going to be a rape.

1:07:17🔗 Drew It's great that she's holding up. She is not ready. She's all been acting out until she's like 18. Good.

1:07:22🔗 Adam And it's not really going to do anything anyway, other than kind of weird the guy out a little bit while he stands around. He's not going to know how to approach her. I wouldn't say it. To me, he's 16. Let him be 16, you know.

1:07:34🔗 Drew I would. I'd tell him, but that's me. I see your point of view, and it's valid.

1:07:39🔗 Adam Would you want to be told?

1:07:40🔗 Drew Yeah, absolutely. You would? And it would cause, I'm such a damn caretaker, it would cause me immediately to back off, put her stuff ahead of mine, just going to that nurturing caretaking role.

1:07:50🔗 Adam But wouldn't it weird you out to a certain degree?

1:07:52🔗 Drew No.

1:07:53🔗 Adam Not at least. It wouldn't be like, oh man, oh man, she's screwed up now.

1:07:57🔗 Drew Oh no. No, no, no.

1:07:59🔗 Adam No?

1:08:00🔗 Drew But that's, look how sick I am, though, so.

1:08:03🔗 Adam All right, buddy. Hey, I was right.

1:08:07🔗 Drew I feel so much stronger about you now.

1:08:08🔗 Adam Thank you.

1:08:08🔗 Drew Come much closer.

1:08:09🔗 Adam Thank you. I was right in the parking lot last night when I was leaving the show. Chris?

1:08:13🔗 Drew No, that's what you did to me.

1:08:14🔗 Adam Oh, that's right. Chris, you're 20.

1:08:17🔗 Drew Chris?

1:08:18🔗 Caller Oh, hello. Sorry.

1:08:19🔗 Drew Caller who goes by Chris?

1:08:21🔗 Adam Yeah. What's up?

1:08:22🔗 Caller This is my question for you guys.

1:08:24🔗 Caller It has to do with condom size.

1:08:26🔗 Caller I really don't know what size to use, and I know they have those ones called magnums and stuff. But I've seen on TV when they're demonstrating how to put a condom on, they do it on a banana, and it seems to go on fine. But I just, I mean, my penis is not the size of a banana, but the regular size condoms are just really hard for me to get on.

1:08:46🔗 Drew Too big or too small?

1:08:47🔗 Caller Way too tight. I've had them break after penetration.

1:08:52🔗 Drew Do you roll down the tip?

1:08:53🔗 Caller Yep.

1:08:54🔗 Drew Well, get the magnum.

1:08:56🔗 Caller I mean, but does this happen to, you know?

1:08:59🔗 Adam I don't know.

1:09:00🔗 Caller I'm the big boy.

1:09:02🔗 Adam Listen, Chris, you're a nice guy, but if the standard size isn't fitting, seems way too tight, seems to break all the time, then step up to the next size. Oh, okay, forget about condoms. Let's talk about pants, shirts, you know what I mean? Medium seems a little tight, little confining. May want to go ahead and step up to the large.

1:09:22🔗 Drew But how do you know?

1:09:23🔗 Adam I don't know. Call it woman's intuition, Drew. A wild hunch. But when I'm trying on a shirt and the large feels a little tight around the shoulders, you know what I do? Extra large.

1:09:35🔗 Drew But when I look at the mannequins in the store, the shirts fit just fine.

1:09:38🔗 Adam That, that, the large is tight, I step up to the extra large. That's just me. But then again, I'm going off 36 years of experience here, and I've been around. All right, wait a minute. So go ahead, put the magnum on. What's the worst case? Use that twist tie that it comes with. Melissa?

1:09:58🔗 Caller Yes?

1:10:01🔗 Drew What's the matter?

1:10:02🔗 Caller Look, I have to say, I've been listening to you for nine years, so please go easy on me.

1:10:07🔗 Adam All right, then.

1:10:10🔗 Caller I'm having some really problems, and I just, I think you guys are the right people to talk to.

1:10:18🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:10:19🔗 Caller And I really need a lot of help. One, I'm married. I'm currently separated. A year ago, I got raped the night my father died, and I got raped at a club, and because of this, it's like caused all types of problems in my marriage.

1:10:44🔗 Adam You were married at the time you were raped?

1:10:46🔗 Caller Yes, I was.

1:10:46🔗 Drew What were you doing at a club?

1:10:51🔗 Caller Well, my father was sick, and that morning he told us that he was ready to die, and he was tired of being in pain, and I kind of knew that that night he was going to die, and I didn't want to be home to see it because I'm real close to my father.

1:11:06🔗 Drew Why didn't you go out with your husband?

1:11:08🔗 Caller Well, my husband was back east. I came with my daughter to come visit my dad the last few days that I had with him.

1:11:16🔗 Drew Got the picture.

1:11:17🔗 Adam All right. Hold on a second. Let me talk to Drew. First off, what's your dad, like Navajo Indian? I'm going to die tonight. This is it. You know what I mean? That's something out of the movies. I don't think people make that call. Number two, you go cross country to visit your dying dad. He says he's going to die that night, so you go out clubbing?

1:11:37🔗 Drew There's a lot going on here. You can just feel it, can't you?

1:11:39🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. All right. So what kind of club?

1:11:45🔗 Caller It was a hip hop club in Huntington Beach.

1:11:48🔗 Adam I see.

1:11:48🔗 Caller It was very upscale.

1:11:50🔗 Adam And what happened? How did the rape happen?

1:11:52🔗 Caller Well, I was walking to the bathroom. I was drinking and I got really nauseous and I needed to go to the bathroom to puke. So I asked whoever was next to me if they could direct me to the restroom and I walked to the restroom and I saw the security guard standing right there and the bathroom door was wide open. So I just walked straight into the stall and that's when it happened.

1:12:19🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

1:12:21🔗 Caller I'm sorry.

1:12:22🔗 Drew Something missing from the story, but okay.

1:12:24🔗 Adam Okay, security guard was there, the bathroom door was wide open, you walked in and then you were right.

1:12:29🔗 Caller Yeah, he slipped right in my stall and it happened really quick.

1:12:33🔗 Adam Where was the security guard?

1:12:34🔗 Caller He was right by the door.

1:12:35🔗 Adam Oh, just right there.

1:12:36🔗 Drew Was it a men's room?

1:12:37🔗 Caller No, it was a woman's room. I believe there was women, I couldn't really see.

1:12:43🔗 Drew Who knows what happened? You were loaded. Come on.

1:12:45🔗 Adam You didn't cry out or anything?

1:12:47🔗 Caller No. First of all, I don't really drink a lot. I drink once in a while and I drink wine and that was all I had. I had like maybe three glasses of Zinc.

1:12:57🔗 Adam Do you think you were drugged?

1:12:58🔗 Caller Well, that's just the thing.

1:13:00🔗 Adam How many times you were raped before this?

1:13:02🔗 Caller None.

1:13:03🔗 Adam Zero?

1:13:03🔗 Caller Zero.

1:13:04🔗 Adam Molested?

1:13:05🔗 Caller No.

1:13:06🔗 Adam Huh?

1:13:06🔗 Caller No.

1:13:07🔗 Adam Physical abuse?

1:13:08🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:13:09🔗 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:13:09🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:10🔗 Adam There you go.

1:13:11🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:13:11🔗 Adam Well, okay. By your dad?

1:13:14🔗 Caller Oh, no. By my first love. Well, not my first love but my daughter's father.

1:13:20🔗 Adam Your daughter's father?

1:13:21🔗 Caller Yeah. I was young.

1:13:22🔗 Drew What about that?

1:13:23🔗 Adam What about your dad?

1:13:24🔗 Caller My dad was, he was cool. He was, he never.

1:13:28🔗 Drew Never raised his hand to you?

1:13:30🔗 Caller Well, I always got whoopings but it was like just, you know.

1:13:34🔗 Drew Okay, whooping and beating?

1:13:36🔗 Caller No, I got, my dad.

1:13:38🔗 Drew Melissa, Melissa. My dad kicked my butt.

1:13:40🔗 Adam Your dad kicked your butt.

1:13:40🔗 Drew That's called a beating. That's called a beating.

1:13:42🔗 Adam All right, we had a feeling your dad kicked your butt.

1:13:44🔗 Caller But I mean, it wasn't like.

1:13:45🔗 Adam No, I know. That's a beating. You shouldn't have spilled that milk.

1:13:49🔗 Caller Well, yeah, he had a temper.

1:13:51🔗 Adam Yes, okay, that's, okay. So let me give you the whole, let me give you your life here. Your dad gave you a lot of beatings and had a temper. You then became attracted to your first love who magically and coincidentally had a temper and gave you beatings too.

1:14:07🔗 Drew Magically.

1:14:08🔗 Adam Then all that lined you up for this rape. Not the actual rape part, but the part where there was a security guard standing by the door, you were getting raped in a woman's room and you couldn't go, second time in one show.

1:14:19🔗 Caller I'm being raped too.

1:14:22🔗 Caller You know what? The crazy thing is that normally me, I would have knocked the guy down or I would have fought him. I would have kicked his butt. But for some reason I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I couldn't hear.

1:14:35🔗 Adam That's part of being beat on your whole life. Yeah, hey, hey. Listen.

1:14:41🔗 Caller Let me tell you, I ain't never been beat or out on conscience. I'm not that type of person. That has not happened to me. I'm very, you know, I've had fights, but I can hold my own.

1:14:54🔗 Adam Yeah, you can hold your own so well that you got raped five feet away from a security guard and couldn't alert him.

1:15:00🔗 Caller That's right. And you want to know the other thing?

1:15:02🔗 Adam Touche. I guess you made her point there. That's right.

1:15:05🔗 Caller The only thing was, is that eight days after I was raped, somebody else was raped at that club.

1:15:11🔗 Adam All right. Well, this guy was a predator. He was hanging around there.

1:15:14🔗 Drew He knew who to pick.

1:15:14🔗 Caller He knew that's not my problem.

1:15:16🔗 Drew He knew who to pick. All right. Let's take a break here. Wait, we got to take a break.

1:15:19🔗 Adam All right. Hold on. Hold on.

1:15:20🔗 Caller Hold on.

1:15:21🔗 Drew We'll find out how to put up the problems.

1:15:22🔗 Adam Hold on. All right.

1:15:25🔗 Drew This business of whooping versus beating, I'm sorry. There's no difference.

1:15:29🔗 Adam I don't even know. I thought whooping is just black for beating.

1:15:34🔗 Drew A lot of people use whooping as a way of defending against the reality that parents are abusive.

1:15:38🔗 Adam Whooping doesn't sound great. Beating sounds worse. Spanking sounds better in whooping. I go spanking, whooping, beating, and then killing. That would be the last one. No, spanking, whooping, beating, maiming, killing. There it is. That's the chronology of it. We'll take a little break. We'll get back with the sad and confused Melissa after this. Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-V-1-1. All right, let's get back to the phones here and speak to Melissa. Melissa? All right, so you were at a club. Your dad beat you. He died. What's your nationality?

1:16:50🔗 Caller Puerto Rican.

1:16:51🔗 Adam Puerto Rican. And where did you grow up? New York?

1:16:57🔗 Caller The streets of LA.

1:16:58🔗 Adam Really? I thought we didn't have Puerto Ricans here.

1:17:01🔗 Caller Very few. I'm hard to find.

1:17:04🔗 Adam How do the Mexicans treat the Puerto Ricans?

1:17:06🔗 Caller Not very kindly.

1:17:07🔗 Adam Really? I know. Everyone thinks white people are the only racists. They have like the market corner on racism. I tell you, these Latino guys, the Mexicans, they hate the El Salvadorians, and the Salvadorians, and they don't like the Nicaraguans.

1:17:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:17:22🔗 Adam And it's all a big mess over there.

1:17:24🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:17:24🔗 Adam Yeah, and the Puerto Ricans don't like the Nicaraguans.

1:17:27🔗 Caller Puerto Ricans usually food with the Cubans and Dominicans.

1:17:31🔗 Adam Right. And it's funny, to white people, it's all one big Mexican.

1:17:34🔗 Caller I know.

1:17:34🔗 Adam We have no idea. We have zero idea. We're like, why are those two Mexican guys fighting? One guy is from Dominican Republic, the other guy is from El Salvador. And that in the same place?

1:17:44🔗 Caller Yeah. You know what's even funnier is that white people always say white. They never say like Irish or Dutch or French.

1:17:52🔗 Drew Oh, not only that. We deal with that all the time here. We ask them where their ancestors from and they say, they say Downey.

1:17:58🔗 Adam Yeah. All right. So Melissa, so your dad died. You got raped in a club and now your marriage is suffering.

1:18:05🔗 Caller Yeah. And I think he's my soulmate.

1:18:09🔗 Adam Yeah. Sure.

1:18:10🔗 Caller I mean, really.

1:18:11🔗 Adam Hold on. Did you say cellmate or soulmate?

1:18:14🔗 Caller Soul.

1:18:14🔗 Adam Oh, I see.

1:18:15🔗 Caller I see. I asked for him and he came.

1:18:18🔗 Adam I see. You asked Satan for him and he showed up? Well, listen, I don't trust this guy because he's abusive.

1:18:26🔗 Caller Who?

1:18:27🔗 Drew This is the next husband.

1:18:28🔗 Adam He's got to be abusive too.

1:18:29🔗 Drew No. That's why she's maybe sabotaged.

1:18:31🔗 Adam Oh, interesting. This guy's not abusive.

1:18:34🔗 Caller Who?

1:18:35🔗 Adam Your husband.

1:18:36🔗 Caller No.

1:18:37🔗 Adam And you're having trouble.

1:18:39🔗 Drew Verbally.

1:18:39🔗 Adam Verbally abusive?

1:18:40🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:18:41🔗 Drew She'll turn him physically abusive.

1:18:42🔗 Adam You found a guy who's confined to a wheelchair. He's just verbally abusive.

1:18:46🔗 Caller No, it's both.

1:18:48🔗 Caller I'm very vicious with my tongue also.

1:18:50🔗 Adam I understand.

1:18:51🔗 Caller I've been lashing out at men. I've been looking towards women.

1:18:56🔗 Adam Looking toward women?

1:18:57🔗 Caller Well, yeah. Oh, boy.

1:18:59🔗 Adam Hey, you got kids, right?

1:19:00🔗 Caller Three.

1:19:01🔗 Adam Oh, for Christ's sake. Hey, you want to know why Puerto Rico is a mess?

1:19:07🔗 Caller Easy.

1:19:08🔗 Adam Please. You got three kids in your whack job.

1:19:12🔗 Caller Listen.

1:19:13🔗 Adam Hey, you look. What's happening with these three kids? How are they going to turn out? Oh, yeah, they're great. Your parents think they did a great job with you, too?

1:19:23🔗 Caller Well, no, but I'm doing my best with my kids. My kids are very smart.

1:19:28🔗 Drew Where are they right now?

1:19:29🔗 Adam They're sleeping.

1:19:31🔗 Caller Well, my two kids and my husband, he has my baby.

1:19:35🔗 Drew How old is the baby?

1:19:37🔗 Caller A year.

1:19:38🔗 Drew Why does he have a one-year-old?

1:19:39🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

1:19:40🔗 Adam Why does he have it?

1:19:43🔗 Caller Because the other two aren't from him.

1:19:46🔗 Drew Wait, Melissa, one-year-old away from mom? That is not doing a good job.

1:19:49🔗 Caller I don't even know what is going on to me.

1:19:51🔗 Drew Melissa, that's not, I'm sorry, but that's troublesome. That's not, I'm doing a great job.

1:19:58🔗 Caller I'm thinking about going back just because of my baby, but-

1:20:01🔗 Drew That's not, I'm doing a great job, Melissa. That's, I'm not even there.

1:20:05🔗 Adam You're thinking about going back. What do you mean, with him?

1:20:07🔗 Caller There's problems at home.

1:20:09🔗 Adam Oh, baby.

1:20:09🔗 Caller I'm good.

1:20:11🔗 Adam Okay.

1:20:11🔗 Caller For my kids.

1:20:12🔗 Adam Okay. Can you be sterilized, A number one?

1:20:16🔗 Caller From having any more kids?

1:20:17🔗 Adam Yes.

1:20:17🔗 Caller My husband wants me to have like seven more.

1:20:20🔗 Drew Oh my God.

1:20:21🔗 Adam What is he? He's Puerto Rican too.

1:20:23🔗 Caller No, he's black and white. He's mixed.

1:20:26🔗 Adam Oh my God. This is a disaster over here. Seven more kids.

1:20:30🔗 Caller He's a great father and we have a good with him.

1:20:34🔗 Adam Okay.

1:20:35🔗 Drew Well, then go back and make a stable home with him.

1:20:37🔗 Caller I'm not happy and since this, I can't have, I won't. I don't like to be intimate.

1:20:43🔗 Adam Okay. Hey, hey. Okay. You listen to me. I'm going to give you 15 seconds and then I'm hanging up. It's going to be the most important 15 seconds of your life. You understand?

1:20:51🔗 Caller Yep.

1:20:52🔗 Adam You're not happy with him. You're never going to be happy with anybody. It's not him. It's you.

1:20:57🔗 Caller I'm happy.

1:20:58🔗 Adam Shut up. Your dad was abusive. Your life is a mess. You have to shut up. You have three kids now. You're going to screw those kids up worse than you got screwed up. Shut up. You get some therapy. You read some books. You take care of your own ass. And God help you, don't screw up those kids. And stop having kids, by the way. Stop it. All of you. Stop it. Want to know why this world is going the direction it's going? It's because the Melissa's the world got three kids.

1:21:31🔗 Drew With seven more on the way.

1:21:33🔗 Adam I think he was counting those three. I think he just wants four more.

1:21:36🔗 Drew She said seven more.

1:21:38🔗 Adam Stop having kids, you screwed up bastards.

1:21:42🔗 Caller Amen.

1:21:43🔗 Adam Jesus Christ. And listen, anybody who's involved with anything, stop what you're doing. This has to be your number one cause. All you pussy politicians out there. How come this is never talked about? This is it. This is the only problem. This is the only problem. This is it. It's the only problem that we have facing this country. Kids are being raised by chaotic Melissa and are screwed up hubby. That's it. That's the only problem. That's crime. That's drugs. That's unemployment. That's education. That's pollution. That's all of it. It's all of it. That's it. You just gotta go to the nest. That's all. Why we can't see that? Why we can't accept it? I don't know. And I know the politicians must know it on some level, on a surface level. They just don't want to talk about it. Somebody's gotta talk about this. People gotta stop having effed up kids, and it's done. Then we're living in a utopia. Everybody, think about healthy people. And then realize, no more locks on doors, no more car alarms, no more insurance fraud, no more dumping toxic waste into the rivers, no more anything. Just a bunch of good people doing good things. That's it. It's utopia. Are we ever gonna have to worry about Drew's triplets, stabbing us, ripping us off, stealing our car stereo, faking an injury at a casino trying to collect some insurance? It's not gonna happen. Road rage, spousal abuse, unemployment, prison overcrowding. None of it.

1:23:33🔗 Drew All right, all right, all right.

1:23:34🔗 Adam None of it. Jesus Christ. I swear to God, we gotta sterilize these people. It's gonna be it. It'll be 20 years. Utopia. Sarah?

1:23:47🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:23:47🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:23:49🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:23:49🔗 Adam What's up?

1:23:51🔗 Guest I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time the other night and I've had sex before but he was a virgin and I started crying like towards the end of it and I don't know why.

1:24:04🔗 Adam He didn't tip you.

1:24:05🔗 Drew How old were you when you first had sex?

1:24:07🔗 Caller 15.

1:24:08🔗 Drew And what was that like? What was that all about?

1:24:11🔗 Guest It's never like affected me before like that.

1:24:13🔗 Drew Who was it the first time?

1:24:14🔗 Guest Huh?

1:24:15🔗 Drew Who was it the first time?

1:24:16🔗 Caller My ex-boyfriend.

1:24:18🔗 Drew And how old was he?

1:24:19🔗 Guest He was 17.

1:24:20🔗 Drew And how old is your current boyfriend?

1:24:21🔗 Caller He's 16.

1:24:24🔗 Drew And how do you feel about him?

1:24:26🔗 Caller I like him.

1:24:27🔗 Adam How was the first sexual encounter you had?

1:24:31🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:24:32🔗 Caller Normal, I guess.

1:24:34🔗 Drew Was it a good experience?

1:24:35🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:24:36🔗 Adam All right. So the first time you had sex was good. Second time you had sex was all right. And you start crying.

1:24:42🔗 Caller Well, yeah.

1:24:44🔗 Drew Maybe it's not as good as you're sort of trying to force yourself to leave.

1:24:48🔗 Caller I don't know why.

1:24:51🔗 Drew Well, here's what I hear from most older women when they look back at their 15, 16 year old experiences is that they numbed themselves up. They felt the way they were supposed to do in order to have sex, which was usually suppressing a lot of feeling about not feeling okay about it, about wondering why they were doing this, about being overwhelmed by the intimacy.

1:25:12🔗 Guest It felt fine.

1:25:13🔗 Caller I just, I don't know why I started crying.

1:25:16🔗 Adam Well, maybe because he came in three minutes.

1:25:18🔗 Drew Did you hear anything I just said though? Do you understand what I'm saying?

1:25:21🔗 Adam He doesn't care.

1:25:22🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:25:22🔗 Adam Listen, Sarah?

1:25:23🔗 Caller Yeah?

1:25:23🔗 Adam Everything good in your life?

1:25:25🔗 Caller Huh?

1:25:27🔗 Adam Okay. Did your dad die or anything?

1:25:29🔗 Caller No.

1:25:30🔗 Drew Okay.

1:25:31🔗 Adam Everything's happy?

1:25:31🔗 Drew This is that, this is that I'm denying my feelings.

1:25:36🔗 Adam Oh, who cares? Listen, a woman can start crying at any moment, depending on where her menstrual cycle is.

1:25:42🔗 Drew Yeah, but I've heard this a lot of times, though, from women who are older, saying, oh my God, I just, I feel so bad about myself for having done that, I just numbed myself up because it was what I was supposed to do, it was what I wanted to do.

1:25:53🔗 Adam Ah, I haven't heard that much of that.

1:25:56🔗 Drew You don't talk to kids around here.

1:25:58🔗 Adam I don't talk to who?

1:25:58🔗 Drew Anybody.

1:25:59🔗 Adam How dare you? How? Okay, no, you're right. You're right about that one. But you know, the only reason I don't talk to people is because I don't like people.

1:26:08🔗 Drew I didn't ask for an explanation. I just stated a fact.

1:26:10🔗 Adam Oh, okay.

1:26:11🔗 Drew Couldn't be better. Unless they're flying airplanes, then you're okay with them.

1:26:13🔗 Adam You know anyone who's flying a model airplane?

1:26:15🔗 Drew You talk to them.

1:26:16🔗 Adam Oh, yes. I'm going out Wednesday flying that model airplane.

1:26:19🔗 Drew I just imagine all the guys sort of with the baseball caps on, kind of plaid work shirts open with the sweat pants on, and the shirt hanging out over the belly.

1:26:28🔗 Adam Let me tell you the kind of guys who fly the model airplanes. The guys who wear the baseball caps, but the ones with the sort of foam rubber front on them. I don't know what that is. It's mesh on the back.

1:26:39🔗 Drew It's cheap.

1:26:39🔗 Adam And it's Anderson. Listen, you know, Anderson tries to tell me about 15 things a week. It's usually 14 of them I already know. It's foam rubber on the front. It's a weird, it's like a weird trucker's hat. It's like a regular baseball hat is $6. This is $4.99. And it's made out of like, you know, Dacron, Stainron, and all it does is smell and get weird. It doesn't, there's not a natural fiber in it.

1:27:09🔗 Drew It's always, panels are different color too, right?

1:27:12🔗 Adam Yeah, it's just a big, big thing of foam in the front. It's a baseball hat, but it's like that weird, it's not-

1:27:16🔗 Drew Dome, dome of foam.

1:27:17🔗 Adam Yes, it's not made out of cotton or anything. It's all synthetic. Then they got themselves a shirt, usually a shirt that says like-

1:27:28🔗 Drew Making bacon?

1:27:28🔗 Adam No, no. B47 Flying Fortress, Northrop, 1948. There's a little discussion on the airplane. Just so you know, they're in the airplane. Then generic tennis shoes.

1:27:44🔗 Drew Potbelly.

1:27:45🔗 Adam Kind of tennis shoes. You know those tennis shoes? Instead of laces, they got the two big Velcro straps and they're light blue.

1:27:51🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:27:51🔗 Adam You get them at the supermarket out of the big bin or whatever. It's like, here's the thing I never understand either. I know we got to go to break, but I got to say to all these people out there, because I'm helping people live their life and much more than just their sexual problems. You can go down to the Foot Locker, the Big Five or the Sporting Goods store. You can go right over to the whatever they got on sale department, and you can get yourself a nice set of Nikes for 24 bucks or-

1:28:16🔗 Drew 19 bucks.

1:28:17🔗 Adam Okay. For 19 bucks, brand name pair of tennis shoes, or for $1.50 less, you can wear a weird generic brand that's going to wear out 10 times as fast as you get from Target, and everyone knows you're in A-hole-it. These guys choose to go the weird generic brand of tennis shoe. They go that shirt, and then they're wearing, right, sweatpants or some sort of jeans they were wearing last time. Yes, beer gut and-

1:28:45🔗 Drew Shirt out and hanging over the gut.

1:28:46🔗 Adam Yeah, part of the gut hanging out underneath the shirt. Yeah. That is the look, and they're my guys. They call the wife the old lady, and they call their children the kid.

1:28:55🔗 Drew You could talk all day to those people.

1:28:57🔗 Adam That's right, except for Only About Planes. We'll be back.

1:29:01🔗 Caller Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:29:42🔗 Caller Yep. Yeah.

1:29:44🔗 Adam Here's Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. Forget about the phone number. Kari Warr. You know her from the hit series Remote Control on the fabulous MTV's. MTV's still on, right?

1:29:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:29:55🔗 Adam All right. Fabulous MTV and million other movies. Anaconda. That's probably your biggest movie.

1:30:04🔗 Drew Your favorite anyway.

1:30:06🔗 Adam I enjoyed that. I like a movie where there's a giant reptile eating people. I'm really into that. I like that. I like an ocean movie.

1:30:13🔗 Drew Have you seen The Perfect Storm?

1:30:15🔗 Adam No, I haven't seen The Perfect Storm. I got to see that. I recommend Dead Calm as a nice rental for people. Very, very good ocean movie.

1:30:25🔗 Drew Is that because the Jaws was right in your wheelhouse? Right in your film viewing impression years? There's something that twisted you into the ocean genre?

1:30:35🔗 Adam Something I always found sort of provocative about the ocean. I thought, to me, my greatest fear in life would be to fall off the back of a cruise liner in the middle of the ocean at night. You just see the lights sort of get dimmer as it's steamed away. That to me is, I could think of nothing worse.

1:30:56🔗 Drew All those fish underneath you, reaching up and grabbing you and sharks.

1:31:00🔗 Adam You just sort of floating around out there.

1:31:02🔗 Drew Nowhere.

1:31:03🔗 Adam With no chance of anything. And when I, you know, you hear about those, when you hear about those bizarre maritime accidents and disasters and stuff, it's just crazy. And when you think about those convoys of merchant ships in the 1940s, World War II, and German submarines hovering all around and they're out in the Atlantic and it's the middle of the night and a torpedo hits one of them and everyone's going into the water. How do you sleep on that boat at night, by the way? You know, half of them don't make it. You know what I'm saying? Crazy. I don't know who gets on that thing. What goes on? Did you ever get on it? Think about that. You're getting on a boat, you're not coming back and you'll get hit at night. Don't worry. You'll be torpedoed. You're going to be sleeping in the bottom of it. Good times. You're out in the middle of nothing.

1:31:54🔗 Caller Good times.

1:31:57🔗 Adam And it's 25 degrees outside. You're not going to last five minutes in the water. Matt?

1:32:06🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:07🔗 Adam You're 20.

1:32:08🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:32:08🔗 Adam What's up?

1:32:10🔗 Caller Well, I took some peyote about a year ago. I had a good time and everything, but the past couple of months, I've been having some flashbacks.

1:32:19🔗 Drew How often?

1:32:20🔗 Caller And I'm wondering, I'm a little worried about it. I don't want to have one of them driving or nothing. I was wondering how long I'm going to be having these.

1:32:27🔗 Drew What are the flashbacks? What are they? How are they manifesting?

1:32:31🔗 Caller They mostly happen when I'm drinking and I'll start to see some of the things.

1:32:34🔗 Adam Or doing peyote. Yeah.

1:32:36🔗 Caller What's that?

1:32:37🔗 Adam Or doing more peyote.

1:32:38🔗 Caller No, I haven't done any since then.

1:32:40🔗 Drew And what happens? When I'm drinking alcohol. And what happens?

1:32:44🔗 Adam Hey, does peyote make you throw up?

1:32:47🔗 Caller No, it didn't make me throw up.

1:32:48🔗 Adam It didn't?

1:32:49🔗 Caller No.

1:32:49🔗 Adam Have you taken acid?

1:32:50🔗 Caller No.

1:32:51🔗 Adam Have you taken mushrooms? No. Just peyote?

1:32:54🔗 Caller Just peyote.

1:32:55🔗 Adam Interesting.

1:32:55🔗 Drew And so what happened? What did you see?

1:32:59🔗 Caller I saw a bunch of different stuff when I was on the trip. I mean, I went-

1:33:02🔗 Drew No, when? Lately. What are the flashbacks?

1:33:03🔗 Caller Lately, it's just been mostly images from the trip. You know, certain things that I saw when I was on the peyote trip.

1:33:12🔗 Drew And these are not memories. You're actually having hallucinations again.

1:33:15🔗 Caller Sometimes, yeah. I'm getting some visuals. You know, as far as I'm seeing stuff floating in front of me.

1:33:20🔗 Adam Okay, so what should you do?

1:33:21🔗 Drew I can't get a bearing on what he's getting.

1:33:24🔗 Adam Well, maybe he's having one now.

1:33:25🔗 Drew I'm just wondering if he's having panic attacks or something else.

1:33:28🔗 Adam No. Who should he talk to?

1:33:29🔗 Drew There's really no one to talk to.

1:33:31🔗 Adam Medicine man?

1:33:32🔗 Drew Yeah. Peyote flashbacks. It would be hard to know exactly what's causing that. I wouldn't drink. If they only occur when you're using alcohol, don't use alcohol. Maybe the alcohol is liberating it from the fat cell in some way. I don't know. It's interesting.

1:33:42🔗 Adam Martin?

1:33:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:43🔗 Adam You're 16?

1:33:44🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:33:45🔗 Adam How long after sex can you find out if you have an STD?

1:33:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:33:51🔗 Adam Well, they vary.

1:33:52🔗 Drew Yeah. What's happening? What do you got?

1:33:54🔗 Caller Yeah. Because I was at a party and I got pretty wasted. And then I went upstairs with a girl.

1:33:59🔗 Adam Yeah.

1:34:00🔗 Caller And then, you know, things happened.

1:34:03🔗 Adam I see.

1:34:04🔗 Caller And then I woke up and I don't know what the hell was going on.

1:34:08🔗 Adam Okay. You know, I just had a thought. You know why I never got laid in high school?

1:34:12🔗 Drew You never went upstairs with a girl?

1:34:13🔗 Adam I've always had single story houses. Never basement, never upstairs. I've realized from doing the show that, you know, me and this chick, we went down to the basement, down to the rumpus room down in the basement, or I took her upstairs. Single. You're living on a slab like I did. You just go over. You can't get laid. That's what it is. I always thought it was me. And I realized, no upstairs, no downstairs. Can't get laid.

1:34:37🔗 Drew Why was it that Chris seemed to do okay?

1:34:41🔗 Adam He lived in an apartment. He used to bang the chick who lived upstairs.

1:34:44🔗 Drew How dare you?

1:34:44🔗 Adam That's how he got laid. And how dare you, by the way? How dare you? All right. I don't know. Listen, see a doctor.

1:34:51🔗 Drew If you have symptoms, symptoms usually develop anywhere from the next day, like within 12 hours up to two weeks later. So if you're not having symptoms, doesn't make a lot of sense to get tested unless you want an HIV and hepatitis C as well.

1:35:03🔗 Adam Annie, you're 19.

1:35:04🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:35:05🔗 Adam I want to know if your hymen's gonna break if you have a pelvic exam.

1:35:08🔗 Drew It's probably already broken at 19. I haven't had one yet.

1:35:12🔗 Adam All right. Get your pelvic exam and find out. Yeah. Don't worry. They're not gonna hurt you. Yeah.

1:35:16🔗 Drew They won't hurt you.

1:35:16🔗 Adam Amanda?

1:35:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:35:18🔗 Adam You want to know how to stop the flashbacks from your molestation?

1:35:21🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:35:22🔗 Drew Therapy.

1:35:22🔗 Adam You going to therapy?

1:35:23🔗 Caller No.

1:35:24🔗 Adam You gotta do that.

1:35:25🔗 Caller All right.

1:35:26🔗 Adam You were molested. You gotta go to therapy.

1:35:27🔗 Caller Okay.

1:35:28🔗 Adam I'm going tomorrow. How dare you. You want to go with me?

1:35:31🔗 Caller No.

1:35:32🔗 Adam Okay. Now you go to your own.

1:35:34🔗 Caller All right.

1:35:34🔗 Adam All right, baby. Take care of yourself.

1:36:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:36:18🔗 Adam All righty, there you go. Another fabulous program, ending on time for a change.

1:36:23🔗 Drew For the first time.

1:36:24🔗 Adam That's right.

1:36:24🔗 Drew We'll go over.

1:36:25🔗 Adam Kari Wurr in here tomorrow night. That little temptress will be in here, and maybe I'll pick her up on my way.

1:36:31🔗 Drew I beg your pardon?

1:36:33🔗 Adam How dare you. Maybe I'll pick her up on the way in, because she used to live down the street from me.

1:36:38🔗 Drew You're that kind of guy.

1:36:39🔗 Adam There you go. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. My God, I'm being raped!

1:36:46🔗 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback