Thursday, November 25, 1999

0:00🔗 Adam Jennifer, after you have, let's say, heaping, helping of semen, would you then cleanse your palate with some sorbet or something like that before you sampled another penis or yourself? Or how does that work?

0:14🔗 No.

0:14🔗 Adam I mean, what's proper etiquette is what I'm saying. I know you don't just swill it down.

0:21🔗 Drew Look, Jennifer, wouldn't you, oh, man. It's a hell of a way to start the show. Wouldn't you expect that if you ate something spicy, it might change your breath?

0:31🔗 No, because, I mean, for a whole year.

0:33🔗 Adam Hold on, hold on. Restate the question again, and Jennifer, this time, listen with the good ear.

0:38🔗 Drew Jennifer, don't you think when the moon goes down tomorrow and it's morning, the sun's going to come up?

0:43🔗 I understand that.

0:45🔗 Drew She can't even say yes to that.

0:46🔗 What's it going to do if I eat?

0:48🔗 Jennifer, it's your birth control pills. It's kind of messing with your body chemistry.

0:51🔗 Drew It's not necessarily messing with it, but there are definitely changes in women, particularly. Men, it is alleged that there are changes, and it makes sense that there would be some change.

1:01🔗 It is true.

1:02🔗 Drew But with women, the change can be quite profound, because the environment down there is highly affected by many things, including things like the acid-base status of the region. And so I think certain bacteria can overgrow. A lot of things can change it.

1:13🔗 So it kind of happens the same way in my boyfriend also, when he does it.

1:16🔗 Drew It's a little different. Yeah. First of all, your boyfriend is a crack addict. You have the whole other issue to deal with with that. Jennifer, of course, is insolent and resistive, won't listen to anything.

1:27🔗 Adam Hey, Jennifer, why are you hooked up with the Speed Freak?

1:30🔗 We have great sex.

1:31🔗 There's better things out there.

1:33🔗 Drew Okay, Jennifer, you're 19. Paint the picture, Jennifer, of black clothing, black finger nail polish.

1:40🔗 Adam Really?

1:40🔗 Oh, no, he doesn't have that.

1:41🔗 No, I don't have that either.

1:43🔗 Adam I'm going more stripper, but with her infant on stage with her while she's stripping.

1:47🔗 I think the verbiage.

1:49🔗 That's perverted.

1:49🔗 Order your semen with no crank next time. That's my advice.

1:52🔗 Adam Yeah, what I'll do is I'll...

1:53🔗 Well, he lied to me, and I can always tell him.

1:55🔗 Drew Jennifer, we're very worried about you. We're very concerned, and these issues are the least, should be the least of your concern right now, okay?

2:02🔗 Adam Oh, boy.

2:03🔗 Drew Really worried.

2:05🔗 Adam Here's my question. Why is she posing that as a question? Doesn't she know you're going to dig into her when she says that her boyfriend's semen, the flavor's altered by the immense amount of crank that he does? I mean, is she reaching out for help in her own annoying way? What is that?

2:23🔗 Drew She wants help. No, she doesn't, though.

2:25🔗 Adam She doesn't?

2:26🔗 Drew It's...

2:27🔗 Adam Why is she waving it in front of you, Samora?

2:31🔗 Drew I can't answer that.

2:32🔗 Adam Okay.

2:32🔗 Drew I can't figure that out. I wondered that. I mean, why do... It's a subversion of that is why do people call us and then say, no, you're wrong. I'm not listening to you. Okay.

2:40🔗 Adam Well, they're all a-holes. That's what I figured out. Randy?

2:44🔗 Hello?

2:44🔗 Adam You're 19.

2:46🔗 Caller That's right.

2:46🔗 Adam What's going on?

2:48🔗 Caller About, well, almost a month ago, I had an affair on my husband with his best friend.

2:54🔗 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. I'm going to see how many times I can work that in tonight.

2:58🔗 Drew You're 19?

2:59🔗 Caller How long have you been married for?

3:01🔗 Caller A little over two months.

3:03🔗 Caller How long have you known him?

3:04🔗 Caller I've known him for, well, since I was 15.

3:07🔗 Caller So you haven't had another relationship since then?

3:09🔗 Caller Well, I have. I haven't been dating him since. I didn't date him then, but I knew him.

3:16🔗 Adam OK. When we say, how long did you know, goofball? We mean, you know, how long have you been with him? Not when you saw him in the hall four years before you went on your first date.

3:25🔗 Caller Why did you get married?

3:26🔗 Drew Right.

3:27🔗 Caller Because I loved him.

3:29🔗 Drew No, not the unacceptably answer I love.

3:31🔗 Adam I'll go for it.

3:32🔗 Drew Why did you marry him?

3:34🔗 Caller Why did I marry him?

3:34🔗 Drew Yeah.

3:35🔗 Caller Because we had been living together and we had fallen in love and we thought we were right for each other.

3:41🔗 Caller What was your situation at home?

3:44🔗 Caller What was my situation at home?

3:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

3:45🔗 Caller Well, it was pretty normal.

3:48🔗 Adam No, Maya's going right for the chug.

3:49🔗 Drew Yeah, Maya's going the right direction.

3:51🔗 Adam Hey, Randy. Why would you have this affair with his best friend so soon into the marriage? I mean, at least...

3:59🔗 Drew Things are perfect.

4:00🔗 Adam Hey, you're 19. You've been married for two months.

4:03🔗 Drew Two months ago, you were in love with him.

4:05🔗 Adam Yeah. What happened? Why the quick turnaround?

4:10🔗 Caller I don't know.

4:12🔗 Caller Had you cheated on him before?

4:13🔗 Caller No.

4:14🔗 Adam Were you paying him back for something?

4:17🔗 Caller No.

4:18🔗 Adam He didn't do anything to you?

4:19🔗 Caller Well, he, I told him before that when he masturbated, it made me feel like he had cheated on me, and I caught him doing it. And I guess it was kind of my way. I guess it could have been revenge.

4:31🔗 Adam Okay, yeah, I like that. That's a good angle, revenge for masturbation.

4:35🔗 Caller How old is he?

4:36🔗 Caller He's 19.

4:37🔗 Adam 19.

4:37🔗 Caller That's the problem.

4:38🔗 Adam We're doing some gambling right now. Hold on a second, Drew's got the wallet out. Colin, Maya, you got any money on it? I know MTV doesn't pay any money on it.

4:49🔗 Caller My $4.50 an hour went out the door when I got a burger before I came here.

4:53🔗 Caller I might have some change.

4:54🔗 Adam Spent that on poi. Anything? Drew's half Jewish and he's pretty tight. He just bought a new house. He doesn't like the dip in the wallet much. But Drew, seriously, you got any more singles? I got a five. Colin, really? I'm out.

5:09🔗 Caller I had to force somebody to buy me a burger.

5:11🔗 Caller I have a quarter. Is that good?

5:13🔗 Adam You can put that in as a sort of token.

5:14🔗 Caller I'm putting 50 cents. I got 50 cents.

5:16🔗 Caller How about my driver's license? You can see my middle name.

5:18🔗 Adam This is not the ball checkout room.

5:21🔗 Caller It's Hilda.

5:22🔗 Adam We just need money.

5:24🔗 Caller I thought you wanted people to know.

5:25🔗 Caller That is very disrespectful.

5:27🔗 Caller Hilda, don't do this to us. Come on, Hilda.

5:29🔗 Drew By the way, this is how Maya and Colin broke up too.

5:31🔗 Caller This is my deceased grandmother's name.

5:32🔗 Caller I got money.

5:33🔗 Adam We got money.

5:34🔗 Caller Money just came in.

5:34🔗 Adam Put a buck in there.

5:35🔗 Caller That's partially mine for that content.

5:37🔗 Adam Put the other one in. Come on. What went in for Maya?

5:40🔗 Caller Put the five in too.

5:42🔗 Adam For all the good times.

5:43🔗 Caller Hey, you don't own me.

5:44🔗 Adam All right.

5:45🔗 Caller Own me.

5:46🔗 Adam Now here's how this game works if you're not familiar with it. We are gonna gamble on Randy's past. What led her to cheat on her husband of two months at 19 years old? Why? And this is when Drew went for the wallet. She looks at masturbation as cheating by her husband.

6:04🔗 Caller All right?

6:05🔗 Adam All right. Drew, would you like to get the ball rolling to sort of be a template for the kids?

6:10🔗 Drew I would say a cheating, abusive, alcoholic dad. Physically abusive to her.

6:15🔗 Adam Physically abusive.

6:16🔗 Drew But it was real bad. Mistreated mom.

6:18🔗 Adam Mistreated mom, and she saw that.

6:20🔗 Drew Yeah, but she was physically abusive to her.

6:22🔗 Adam Physically.

6:22🔗 Drew And I smell alcohol.

6:24🔗 Adam No sexual abuse. Well, I farted earlier. That could be it. I had a few beers on the way over.

6:29🔗 Caller All right.

6:29🔗 Adam Colin, any... Now, by the way, if you want to go parents together, everyone loves each other, no strife, no trouble, that's a decent bet sometimes, too.

6:39🔗 Caller First, I want to point out, if we as men don't have masturbation, what's our last savior going to be? I mean...

6:45🔗 Adam We don't have anything.

6:46🔗 Caller Come on. We have nothing, if not that. But I'll go with... I'm going to stray from the abusive father. I'm going to go for past, like an ex, an abusive ex. All right.

6:59🔗 Adam But we're going back further than that.

7:00🔗 Caller I've got a reason for that.

7:01🔗 Adam Why'd she get hooked up with the abusive ex? Know what I'm saying?

7:05🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

7:05🔗 Adam All right, Maya, let's go to you. Colin, we'll come back to you.

7:08🔗 Caller I also say no alcoholic, abusive father. I'd have to go with lost virginity early. Parents had a kind of strict curfew, even though they were loving. Just grew up a little bit before her time, wanted to get married, and is finding out that, as most young people who get married do, that it's not meant to be. She's too young.

7:27🔗 Drew But how strict was the curfew?

7:28🔗 Caller I'd say it was strict, but not too strict. I think she just wanted to get out of there.

7:31🔗 Adam Let me write that down. Not strict, but not too strict. All right, so no abuse in the past, in other words. All right, Colin.

7:38🔗 Caller What about married as a necessity, not out of love, because she didn't have anywhere to go with her life. She found herself caught in the marriage, and she wanted to get some more action on the side.

7:46🔗 Adam Trudeau's a-gone, though, sort of retarded, it replies. We're going back to her past. It has to be her past.

7:52🔗 Caller That could be it.

7:52🔗 Drew Maybe she was disenfranchised from her parents, or they were addicts, and were out there somewhere, and didn't know what to do with their work.

7:58🔗 Adam Well, listen, we're gambling on her past.

7:59🔗 Caller A family that wasn't there, a family that wasn't there.

8:02🔗 Or an absent family.

8:04🔗 Caller Her dad ran away to Kansas to do some goat-herding.

8:07🔗 Caller No, they're normal. An abusive brother?

8:11🔗 A step-brother and a bear?

8:13🔗 Adam Hold on, hold on, everybody. Let me just rein the show back in for a second. First off, you get one guess, and that's six and a half guesses. Secondly, it's on her past, her childhood, that sort of thing. So Colin, you have parents that just were absent.

8:26🔗 Caller Abandoning parents.

8:27🔗 Adam Abandoning parents.

8:28🔗 Drew That's good.

8:29🔗 Caller That's what I'm going with.

8:30🔗 Adam Okay, Maya, you have no prom, just got married too early, but no real problems in the past.

8:35🔗 Caller But lost virginity early.

8:36🔗 Adam Yeah, see, the whole looked at masturbation as cheating thing could either mean very religious family that sort of got twisted up and bizarre, but I'm with Drew on The Abusive Dad. Wait, can I change my answer? No, I'm going with, because the show's only two hours.

8:53🔗 Drew Just consider this.

8:54🔗 Adam I'm going with some sexual abuse.

8:57🔗 Caller Married to have sex.

8:58🔗 Drew Just consider this. Imagine the amount of rage it takes to catch your newlywed husband doing something you thought was inappropriate. So you go out and sleep with his best friend.

9:08🔗 Adam Right.

9:08🔗 Drew But imagine that rage.

9:09🔗 Adam Right. OK, that's why I'm going with, you want with alcoholic dad?

9:13🔗 Drew Physically abusive.

9:14🔗 Adam Physically abusive. I'll go with some sexual abuse. Not necessarily from dad, just a young age. All right. Randy. All right. Now that we've floated many theories, let's get to the facts here. Where are your parents?

9:28🔗 Caller Well, my mom and my dad are divorced.

9:30🔗 Adam They're divorced. OK. When did they get divorced?

9:33🔗 Caller When I was two.

9:34🔗 Adam Two. And why did they get divorced, you know?

9:38🔗 Caller Well, I don't know from them, but I know from other people that my mom had cheated on my dad.

9:42🔗 Adam Oh, interesting. Well, the acorn doesn't fall too far from the tree. And what, that's why your dad left your mom?

9:51🔗 Drew Why did your mom cheat?

9:55🔗 Adam Okay, what about alcohol? Any alcoholism in the family?

9:59🔗 Caller Stepdad.

10:03🔗 Adam And I'm guessing, He's the husband, your dad must have been too. Your real dad was an alcoholic too because your mom wouldn't have remarried an alcoholic unless your...

10:11🔗 Drew Right, her dad was an alcoholic so she only marries alcoholics. That's where that pattern works.

10:15🔗 Adam Do you know if your biological dad was an alcoholic?

10:18🔗 Caller Well he is now so I guess he might have been in the end but he was...

10:21🔗 Adam He is now but...

10:23🔗 Caller He's always been an alcoholic but he's really showing it now but he did...

10:27🔗 Adam Okay so hold on, hold on jackass, put that money down. Put that money down.

10:31🔗 Caller He almost hit me when he erupted.

10:33🔗 Adam Put that money down Drew. And we got to flush this one out. We're not getting the money yet. Step dad.

10:41🔗 Drew Biological dad is an alcoholic too.

10:42🔗 Adam Yeah, yeah fine. Everyone's an alcoholic, I understand.

10:45🔗 Drew Grandfather is an alcoholic.

10:45🔗 Adam You sniff that out, that's a layup though. So what else? What about step dad? What kind of guy was he?

10:54🔗 Caller He was a raging alcoholic. He was abusive.

10:58🔗 Drew Physically abusive.

10:59🔗 Adam What about any sexual abuse?

11:02🔗 Caller My grandfather.

11:03🔗 Drew Your grandfather sexually abused you.

11:05🔗 Adam Yeah, that just got me two bucks out of that pot, sweetie. One buck? Come on, I had abuse.

11:12🔗 Drew I had the trifecta for Christ's sake.

11:14🔗 Adam All right, hold on. You went with alcoholism.

11:16🔗 Drew Physical abuse.

11:17🔗 Adam And physical abuse. I went with sexual abuse. That was my angle. And of course, that implies alcoholism. Well, you do not sexually, listen, you don't bang your granddaughter unless you're drunk. Now, come on, right?

11:30🔗 Caller This is absolutely uncanny.

11:32🔗 Adam Okay, so.

11:33🔗 Drew Let's make a point here. People do not behave like this without extraordinary reason. Okay? This notion that people have that our sexuality is some sort of, just a thing we just expressed when we were dealing. Look, this requires profound rage, profound boundary issues. And this kind of impulsivity usually implies the biology of alcoholism, in my experience.

11:55🔗 Adam Yeah, and the part about being outraged or looking at masturbation is cheating. That's a lot of hatred and mixed up feelings about men.

12:01🔗 Drew It's just all those triggered old feelings about men that come zooming up in a rageful, rageful event.

12:07🔗 Adam And listen, why shouldn't you have those feelings? I mean, if your grandfather got a hold of you that way, I mean, how else could you feel?

12:14🔗 Drew And look, even if, there's a flip sign to Randy. Let's say husband was a very available emotional person.

12:21🔗 Adam She'd screw that one up.

12:22🔗 Drew She'd screw that one up too, because the feelings are so missing.

12:25🔗 Adam He may be a decent guy, and that's probably why.

12:27🔗 Drew This happened so fast.

12:29🔗 Adam Your husband's a decent guy, huh? Yeah. Yeah. So you can't stand that.

12:34🔗 Drew It's too scary.

12:35🔗 Adam So you got to freak out with his best friend, right? You can't handle those feelings of him being a decent guy, right? Like, you got to stir it up.

12:47🔗 Drew You ever been treated, Randy?

12:49🔗 Caller I'm sorry?

12:50🔗 Drew Have you ever been treated?

12:51🔗 Caller Treated?

12:52🔗 For your, for your, yeah.

12:54🔗 Adam Yeah, you got to do that. You don't have any kids, do you?

12:56🔗 Caller No.

12:57🔗 Drew Oh, good, good.

12:58🔗 Adam Don't have any kids.

12:59🔗 Drew Morning after pill. Prevent emergency happen, contraceptive. Go get that and put it in your...

13:04🔗 Adam Randy, please don't have any kids. All right, listen. Do you want this marriage to last?

13:10🔗 Caller Yes, I do.

13:11🔗 Adam You do? All right, you got to get some help then. Don't tell him you cheated on him. Just get yourself some help and deal with it and stop acting out.

13:18🔗 Caller Well, see, that's the thing. I'm afraid that his best friend is gonna tell.

13:21🔗 Drew Well, that's irrelevant. Your best friend has no motivation to tell. Because you want to be killed?

13:28🔗 Adam No, he's not gonna tell.

13:29🔗 Drew He's not gonna tell, Randy. Get that chaotic thought out of your head. That's more your drama building.

13:34🔗 Adam Let me float this one. She is going to let him find out about it.

13:39🔗 Drew Somehow.

13:40🔗 Adam Yes, absolutely. Because when you're in the chaos, you are in the chaos. Randy had a decent marriage for about two months, married a decent guy, went insane, and went out and did something to rock the boat. Now, the boat has not been rocked until the husband finds out that it's been rocked. And so far, he doesn't know the boat's been rocked. She will get it back to him. Believe you me, just so he can blow up, freak out, and then she can have just a little slice of that chaotic past of hers. Alright, I'm taking two bucks here, Drew. I really am. I had the sexual abuse there. Come on.

14:12🔗 Caller You're putting up no fight, Drew?

14:14🔗 Drew I don't care.

14:15🔗 Adam Alcoholism. Of course there's alcoholism. I smelled it on her breath, too. Physical abuse, sexual abuse. Alright, so, that was the layup. You guys got any more money?

14:25🔗 Caller Is this your way to reel guests in? I don't think we're on a level playing field here.

14:29🔗 Adam Well, I was trying. I really was. I let Drew go first. He floated all those ones with the alcohol and the abuse and all that. And you guys went right to tough night at the prom. And, you know, I was trying. I was trying to give you a layup there. Alright, that's alright. It's just a buck. You'll win it back. Danielle, or Daniel.

14:49🔗 Caller Oh, hello.

14:50🔗 Adam Hey, you're 16.

14:52🔗 Caller Yep.

14:52🔗 Adam You're on with Colin and Maya from the real world.

14:55🔗 Caller Yeah, Amaya's very hot.

14:58🔗 Caller Yes, she is.

14:59🔗 Caller And Adam, likewise you.

15:01🔗 Adam Oh, thank you. And let me tell you, this Colin is not Chop Lever either.

15:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

15:05🔗 Caller I'm no Adam, I'm no Adam. That's for damn sure.

15:10🔗 Caller Yeah, I was just calling about lighting your fire. Farts on fire, because none of my friends have tried it, and I haven't tried it yet either.

15:18🔗 Adam Okay.

15:19🔗 Caller And I've heard you talking about it, and I was wondering like what to wear and how to do it.

15:23🔗 Adam All right, well, let me give you some tips on that. First off, don't call it lighting your farts on fire, because that's like engaged to be married. You know what I mean? It's a little redundant. You know what I mean? People know you're rookie and novice. Like when they, on those TV shows where they go, he was framed for murder. He didn't commit. It's like that part. It's like, oh, framed for murder? Good, that's enough. They didn't commit part? Nope. That was implied with the framing. You cannot frame someone for something they did. So when it comes to the farting, you want to wear denim, Daniel. Yeah. Drew, you've seen me do it many times here on The Loveline, have you not?

16:01🔗 Drew Many times. I'm afraid you might suddenly be inspired tonight.

16:04🔗 Adam In fact, I won't do it.

16:06🔗 Drew So much so.

16:07🔗 Adam I won't do it in the sweatpants. Oh, nice. What the hell is that doing here? Drew, by the way, because he knows good radio, likes to hold things up, make reference to them, but not say what they are and then move on. He also does a lot of pointing and gesturing, too, that he doesn't explain.

16:25🔗 Caller Oh, but like it's effective on dog farts, too.

16:27🔗 Adam There's a fire extinguisher here, by the way.

16:30🔗 Caller A fart extinguisher.

16:31🔗 Caller Also, Daniel, you know, it's very attractive. Girls are absolutely turned on.

16:35🔗 Adam Is it turned on?

16:35🔗 Caller Yeah. It's a huge, huge, a lit up fart is just, it's an aphrodisiac.

16:41🔗 Adam Lights your heart up. Yeah, it's better than Christmas. It's what we call an aphrodisiac, by the way, true, in certain circles. Now, Daniel, here's what you gotta do. First off, you need a decent, you need like a lighter or something. A book of matches is no good. You're always striking it, there's trouble. Use a lighter. I always wear denim pants, and it's always important to hike your legs up on something, like if you're in a chair that reclines or something like that. And then, you have to get the lights. Drew, will you testify with the lights? I mean, not now, but would you explain about the lights?

17:16🔗 Caller You want me to explain?

17:17🔗 Adam What I'm saying is-

17:18🔗 Drew You've impressed us many even.

17:19🔗 Adam It's much more graphic that way, isn't it?

17:21🔗 Drew Yes, the plume is in full bloom.

17:24🔗 Adam They don't have the Fourth of July celebration at noon.

17:27🔗 Drew Right, it's a similar issue.

17:30🔗 Adam Same principle supply. It's great. Hey, listen, you think I'm kidding. Drew, seriously, you're a doctor. I've sat here and let- How many go in one night?

17:38🔗 Drew 30.

17:39🔗 Adam 30. And what kind of flame on these things?

17:42🔗 Drew Six, eight inches.

17:44🔗 Adam Oh, please.

17:44🔗 Drew Twelve inches?

17:45🔗 Adam Oh, thank you. Six, eight inches. I mean, what kind of circumference?

17:49🔗 Drew I don't know.

17:50🔗 Adam It's about the size of a nice balloon on a few of them.

17:53🔗 Caller Who lights these?

17:54🔗 Adam No, I light them. Drew gets the lights. Everyone else runs for cover. Oh, I think we had Cake in here last time I was doing that.

18:02🔗 Drew Oh, and they were freaked out.

18:04🔗 Adam I think they were mused on the first, like, twenty, twenty-two, twenty-three. By the time we got up in, like, the mid-forties, they were like, they'd had enough.

18:13🔗 Drew Let me out of here. Remember sitting over there looking at his girlfriend?

18:16🔗 Adam Listen, Vince, Vince the Trumpet, well, their girlfriends were here, so they had to pretend like they weren't enjoying it, but Vince the Trumpet player sent me a nice picture from the road of me with my leg hiked up that way. Listen, it's funny, it's entertaining.

18:30🔗 Drew It's great radio, speaking of great radio.

18:31🔗 Adam It's strong radio.

18:35🔗 Caller Loveline's phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191.

18:38🔗 Caller Loveline, with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

18:41🔗 Caller We'll be right back.

18:50🔗 Caller It's not hard to swallow.

18:53🔗 We've got a frog in our throat.

18:55🔗 Caller Lick it up.

18:55🔗 It's Loveline.

18:57🔗 Caller W-E-B-N.

19:04🔗 Adam Yep, it is Loveline.

19:06🔗 Did you guys record this music too?

19:08🔗 Adam No, we didn't lay this down, as we like to say in the business.

19:11🔗 You guys are like the Pogues.

19:13🔗 Adam Blink 182.

19:14🔗 Caller The Pogues.

19:16🔗 Adam We got a pretty good cult following there, don't we, Drew?

19:19🔗 Caller Yeah.

19:19🔗 Adam That is Dr. Drew. John Popper is our guest tonight. Blues Traveler is his band, but he's doing a solo thing. Zygote is the name of that CD. And here's the thing, I want everyone to go out and get this CD. John Popper is good. Everything he does is synonymous with quality, and this is no different.

19:36🔗 Caller Like a fine Swiss watch.

19:37🔗 Adam He just keeps on ticking. We, as tradition would have it, I jam along a little with John, because John always brings his harmonica in when he comes to do Loveline, and I got in the habit of bringing my axe, excuse me, guitar, I know a lot of you don't know what an axe is.

19:54🔗 Caller He's also a serial killer.

19:55🔗 Adam Oh, I brought a sax in. I brought my saxophone in one year.

19:58🔗 Caller Adam is also a serial killer, and he does have an axe.

20:00🔗 Adam I swing it, and only at school-age girls. Drew was nice enough to bring his bass guitar in, which quite frankly, I didn't even know he had.

20:09🔗 Drew It's a pain in the ass getting it here.

20:10🔗 Adam Until about three days ago.

20:12🔗 Caller I was checking it out, and it actually is signed by Jaco Pastoris.

20:15🔗 Adam Nobody knows who that is.

20:17🔗 Caller He was the best bass player that ever lived.

20:19🔗 Adam John Entwistle, maybe, but Jaco Pastoris.

20:22🔗 Caller Oh, I put Jaco Pastoris up against Enrique de Salade.

20:24🔗 Adam I don't know who, what band did he play with?

20:27🔗 Caller Weather Report.

20:28🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

20:29🔗 Caller He was one of the best. I mean, he was a sick man.

20:32🔗 Adam Is he not alive anymore?

20:33🔗 Caller He used to run naked through Central Park, screaming at the top of his lungs, I'm the best, I'm the best.

20:38🔗 Adam True, he does that, but in Pasadena. All right, so I think we should jam again, you guys, get your bass on.

20:46🔗 Caller All right, okay.

20:48🔗 Caller Wow, that's pretty good.

20:49🔗 Caller All right, let's tune up again. Okay, I'm in tune. So what do we want to do now?

20:58🔗 Caller What do you call it?

20:59🔗 Caller All right, let's do something. Boy, well, let's start with a little slow blues.

21:06🔗 All right.

21:07🔗 Caller Because we did the last time.

21:08🔗 Drew Adam, listen this time, will you?

21:10🔗 Caller Let's do B and come in off the five. That's off the five, okay?

21:15🔗 Yeah, let's do it.

21:16🔗 Caller That's a little musical time, ready? One, two, three, four.

21:44🔗 Caller Sing it, John! Yeah, John!

22:43🔗 Caller And Drew likes to slap that bass in the classical tradition of Freud and brothers and of course our old pal Jung.

22:54🔗 Caller I pronounce it Young.

22:56🔗 Caller That rhymes better that way.

23:48🔗 Adam Everyone listen to me.

24:06🔗 Caller I'm not sure about the general principle, of course, mind you, but... Come on, Adam, blow a little for us.

25:12🔗 Caller Play it through, yeah.

25:25🔗 Caller Well, basically radio and television, I guess.

25:27🔗 Caller That's true, baby, that's several.

25:36🔗 Caller You might want to talk to someone else, but these guys are good in the meantime. Ah, you guys are pretty soulful, soulful.

25:54🔗 Adam Yeah, John.

25:56🔗 Caller Nice, yeah, take that thing off, okay.

25:58🔗 Adam You guys had a little fun on that one. Woo, John Popper, everybody.

26:02🔗 Caller Adam almost played with his teeth, but he backed over the last time he was threatening to.

26:06🔗 Adam True, just keeping up and keeping the beat, and wow.

26:10🔗 Caller Yep.

26:11🔗 Adam John, thanks.

26:11🔗 Caller Well, you know, I have actually, you know, there was this marriage psychologist, actually, who, he had this couple, they just wouldn't talk to each other at all, they would not communicate, so he took out his bass solo and did a solo and they started talking right away.

26:24🔗 Adam That was Drew, the legend of Drew, and that's how it grew.

26:28🔗 Caller I got one more bass joke.

26:29🔗 Adam Go ahead.

26:30🔗 Caller How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

26:32🔗 Adam I don't know. Who cares? All right, come on. Be nice. Drew, it's not as complicated as the guitar, it doesn't take as much talent, but it still takes some talent, and I think Drew deserves kudos.

26:44🔗 Caller At least they have bass player lightbulb jokes, I mean, they don't even make any harmonica ones.

26:48🔗 Adam All right, there you have it, everybody. Oh, this is why I love John Popper. I'll tell you what, we should take a commercial break. I'm going to soak my fingers because I heated up a little with the slides.

26:59🔗 Caller Yeah, there was a little sparks going on, that was pretty cool.

27:02🔗 Adam And Drew? Yeah. Yeah, you can take a little, you all right? Good, all right.

27:06🔗 Drew I'm tired, I'm sick.

27:07🔗 Caller You guys make the funniest faces when you play though, they all like bite their tongues.

27:11🔗 Adam Well, let me say something without, I don't want to sound pompous here, but I am the music when I'm playing it. I mean, there's no separation between the sound and me.

27:21🔗 Caller If you at home could see this, his hands literally become blurry and so do the strings, and there's just sort of like this sort of effervescent kind of nebula.

27:30🔗 Adam I don't care if the cat's in front of me or 50,000 screaming fans are there, I got the same look on my face. I'm locked in, I'm zoned.

27:37🔗 Caller And the music is right, he becomes a vapor.

27:40🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm in his zone, I'm in his zone.

27:41🔗 Caller You're like gas.

27:43🔗 Adam That's right, speaking of gas.

27:44🔗 Drew Oh boy, don't give me the opportunities.

27:46🔗 Adam We'll take a little break, I'll let some gas go and we'll be back after this. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800- Oh, that's it, Drew.

28:31🔗 I can't do it.

28:35🔗 Drew I'm starting to cry.

28:36🔗 Adam 1-800-LOV-191. Meshell Ndegeocello is our guest tonight. Bitter's name of the latest CD, and she's touring in the fall with Sting.

28:48🔗 Yes, I am.

28:49🔗 Adam You've played with Sting, though, right?

28:51🔗 No, no, no. You haven't?

28:52🔗 Adam You never played with him? But you've played with everybody, haven't you?

28:55🔗 Pretty much, but he's a bass player.

28:56🔗 Adam Oh, that's right.

28:58🔗 Caller That's right.

28:59🔗 Adam I forgot about that.

29:00🔗 Yeah, so.

29:01🔗 Adam Honey, he's one of... He's one of, and this includes you, but I'm trying to think of what other bass players get out there and sing. There are a lot of them, and I just don't notice them. I think they're playing the guitar funny.

29:16🔗 Jack Bruce from the Cream.

29:18🔗 Adam Oh yeah.

29:21🔗 Rush, Geddy Lee.

29:23🔗 Adam Oh, well, you've done your homework. It's not the Cream, is it? It's Cream.

29:27🔗 Yeah, from Cream.

29:28🔗 Adam Yeah. All right, I'm hip. Drew, you're hip to Cream, right?

29:31🔗 Drew Of course.

29:33🔗 Adam As he holds his coffee.

29:34🔗 Drew From 1969. That Cream?

29:37🔗 Adam Yeah, our listeners know Jack Bruce. Wasn't Ginger Baker in that band, too? Or is that... That's the drummer. That's right.

29:45🔗 Drew And it's the bass and Cream.

29:46🔗 Adam All right. So let's... So what do you want to talk about? We're going to talk about the new CD. Are we going to hear something off it? I heard you had to turn around and go get it. That's why you were late, right?

29:59🔗 Right. No, just... Yeah, I don't really want to talk. I'm... Unfortunately, I'm not the really self-absorbed artist. You can play the music and that's great, but I don't really feel like talking about it.

30:11🔗 Adam I... You know, we haven't seen you in like three years, and we always talk about you. I mean, not verbally, but I think we're thinking about you. Drew, I've got you thinking about Meshell, right?

30:23🔗 Drew Oh, yeah. In fact, you just...

30:24🔗 A little twitch in the side.

30:26🔗 Drew I know, he just goes, You're thinking about Meshell, aren't you?

30:28🔗 Adam Yeah. And you're one of the few guests we've had on the show that's only been on one other time that we really like, that we put into our...

30:36🔗 Drew You've been on three times, right?

30:37🔗 I've been on the TV show.

30:38🔗 Adam Yeah, but this, the radio show...

30:41🔗 Once.

30:41🔗 Adam Once.

30:42🔗 Yeah, twice. No, I came on with the guy from Everclear.

30:45🔗 Drew Yeah, long time ago.

30:47🔗 Adam Oh, was I here for the second time?

30:49🔗 Drew Different studio.

30:49🔗 Right.

30:50🔗 Adam Ah, okay. Well, the point is, is it's been too long. That's what I'm saying. And we like you. And it's been too long in between trips. So we'll see if we can double up on the love tonight. Drew, you hip? Ready to take some calls? Yeah. All right. Maggie.

31:13🔗 Hey.

31:14🔗 Adam You're 18. What's going on?

31:17🔗 Caller Well, I have like a fiance. And I had like my first time with him. And I could feel it, but I don't get like an orgasm. I'm not that.

31:35🔗 Drew How old are you?

31:36🔗 Caller 18.

31:37🔗 Drew That will be pretty common at your age. And it was only the first time you only had sex with him once?

31:44🔗 Caller Yeah, like, because I hardly ever seen him in the Navy, but I...

31:49🔗 Drew So it was one time?

31:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

31:51🔗 Drew The first time and only time is usually not a particularly gratifying experience.

31:56🔗 Caller I had like three times after that, and it doesn't have to happen.

32:00🔗 Adam Well, I hope you had the dignity to fake an orgasm.

32:05🔗 Oh, she did.

32:06🔗 Adam She did? Very good.

32:08🔗 That's horrible, Drew.

32:10🔗 Drew That's Adam. Don't confuse us.

32:11🔗 That's horrible.

32:13🔗 Adam Oh, yeah, that is.

32:15🔗 If you're faking, the brother's not going to like kick in and figure it out.

32:19🔗 Adam Right. That's right. There'll be... There's no reason to solve a prom if there's no prom.

32:26🔗 Drew Especially when it comes to the male ego, where they don't want to acknowledge it. This could be a problem.

32:29🔗 Adam Right. Maggie? Yeah. Can you speak up a little bit? Okay. Are you all right? I mean, here's what I'm hearing. Not only did you not have an orgasm, but it didn't seem particularly enjoyable to you.

32:43🔗 Caller Well, yeah, it was, but...

32:45🔗 Adam It was.

32:46🔗 Caller I just, like...

32:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

32:49🔗 Adam Yeah. There's a big difference, though, with women between their early part of their career and then what I like to call the golden years. They get a little bit of seasoning under their belt. Quite literally. You know what I mean?

33:04🔗 Drew Have you... Quite literally?

33:06🔗 Adam Well, I mean...

33:07🔗 Caller Under the belt.

33:08🔗 Adam No, I mean... You know what I mean.

33:11🔗 Drew Under the belt. I thought the seasoning was literal.

33:13🔗 Adam No, you idiot. I mean, there... Michelle, jump in here. But isn't there a big difference between 18 and 30 for a woman?

33:22🔗 Huge difference. But I guess my question is, can you achieve orgasm by yourself?

33:27🔗 Drew That's the question.

33:28🔗 Yeah.

33:29🔗 Caller I never tried it.

33:30🔗 Drew Okay, so there ain't no way you're going to do it with a guy.

33:34🔗 Right. That's something I think a lot of women don't explore because, you know, someone else doesn't necessarily know your rhythms, what you need, what feels good to you.

33:46🔗 Drew What do you know?

33:47🔗 Find it yourself.

33:48🔗 Drew Why do you think women have such time finding that?

33:51🔗 Because by the time you're 11 or 12 years old, your sex pops up and stares you in your face when you're a guy. As a woman, it's something, you know, I got to get a mirror. I got to check it out. Your mother doesn't discuss it with you.

34:03🔗 Drew Yeah, but nobody discusses it with guys either. In fact, they tell them, hey, hands off. And you could hide that penis inside a vault and the guy would find it. Right, right. And also, Adam, what's your say?

34:14🔗 Adam Well, I'm guessing if your highness penis inside the vault would be attached to him, Drew, so he'd whack off in the vault. But the point is, probably use like $100 bills to wipe himself off or something.

34:23🔗 Drew The point is, for the male biology, it's not about that. It's just the guy will just does that. That's just what they do.

34:31🔗 Adam Well, but Meshell was saying that for a guy, the thing just pops up and you go for it.

34:37🔗 Drew But it's not about it just, no.

34:39🔗 Caller What are you saying?

34:40🔗 Adam Don't disagree with the guess.

34:42🔗 Kicks in at the, you want to discover it.

34:44🔗 Drew Even if you lopped off a male's penis, he'd still figure out a way to masturbate. Seriously, I really believe that's true.

34:51🔗 Adam Yeah, I think there's a little more of a biological imperative for males.

34:55🔗 Drew Especially that age.

34:56🔗 Adam Just because 95% of 15-year-old males masturbate and 40 or 28 or whatever percent of females at 15 masturbate. Women are a little more complicated, a little more complex.

35:08🔗 Drew That's what I'm saying.

35:09🔗 Adam It takes a while to figure it out.

35:10🔗 Drew I can tell you when it comes to little boys, you're telling them all the time, hands off. Hey, hey, hey, not here. All the time.

35:15🔗 Adam Right.

35:16🔗 Drew It's not like you're saying that to little girls. You don't have to.

35:19🔗 Adam My mom said it all the, no jacking off in the house. That's her policy.

35:25🔗 You should go to like a store that, an erotic store or an erotic boutique and you know, maybe buy a vibrator or some books on different, do you know, masturbating techniques and just have some time with yourself.

35:41🔗 Drew Do you think that women, now looking back on where you've been, I don't want to put you in an awkward position, but that there's something about how you develop emotionally and your ability to access sexual functioning?

35:52🔗 Right. Definitely, I was very lucky. I mean, extremely lucky. No, I just had a partner that was like, you know, you're supposed to get more out of this than just laying there and, you know, letting me do what I want to do. So luckily I had a male partner that was like, you know, you know, helped me work that through.

36:14🔗 Adam And same story with Drew. It was his uncle. It was one of the best summer in Idaho you had ever spent. Is that not Drew Drew?

36:24🔗 Drew Catalina.

36:24🔗 Adam Oh, that's right. That's right.

36:26🔗 Caller Sorry.

36:29🔗 Adam Kitty.

36:29🔗 Caller Hi.

36:31🔗 Adam I'd Alina. Let's just compromise.

36:33🔗 Drew The isthmus of Catalina.

36:34🔗 Adam You're 17 years old.

36:36🔗 Caller Yes. First, I gotta tell you, I think you're so hot.

36:40🔗 Caller Oh, wow.

36:41🔗 Adam Thanks.

36:42🔗 Caller No problem. Okay. My question is, is that okay?

36:45🔗 Adam Michelle doesn't see it, but okay.

36:49🔗 Caller Me and my best friend, like we are very close. She lived with me for a long time. And at one point we had a couple of threesomes with a couple of different people. And I don't know, it's like kind of weird because we spent so much time together. And lately she moved to another country and like she calls me a lot and whatever. And like the last phone conversation we had, she told me she loved me more than a friend. And I don't know how to tell her it's kind of weird because she's come to stay with me for a while. And I don't know how to tell her that I'm not like that and like keep her as a friend. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

37:27🔗 Adam So you're 17. How old is she?

37:30🔗 Caller She's 18.

37:30🔗 Adam And you've had a few threesomes?

37:33🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:33🔗 Drew Were you with her during these threesomes?

37:35🔗 Caller It was me, her, and a guy.

37:38🔗 Drew No, but I mean, were you and she?

37:40🔗 Caller Oh, we would just kiss. Like, I, you know, I would never do anything. She like asked me a couple of times, but I wouldn't do it.

37:46🔗 Adam You're a little bit prude, are you?

37:47🔗 Caller Not that kind of girl? It's just I'd rather have guys.

37:50🔗 Adam Well, your sensibilities are a little bit more old fashioned.

37:53🔗 Caller Well, guys please me more than girls do.

37:55🔗 Adam Right, and so she's bisexual or maybe lesbian?

38:01🔗 Caller No, she's never mentioned anything like that.

38:04🔗 Adam Right, but now she's in love with you now, right?

38:06🔗 Caller I think so.

38:07🔗 Adam Okay, so she's something now. And she didn't want to do stuff with you when you guys?

38:12🔗 Caller She did.

38:13🔗 Caller She did.

38:14🔗 Adam You didn't?

38:14🔗 Caller Yeah, she would ask me and stuff, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it because I'm more attracted to guys than girls.

38:20🔗 Adam I'd love to hear the guy's reaction while she was asking Kitty to do something. I'd be like, come on, it's the case of Ace Rockolla.

38:28🔗 Caller Come on. And I didn't know what, you know, it's kind of awkward because I didn't look at her like that, like in such a sexual way. I think she's beautiful and everything.

38:36🔗 Adam Right.

38:37🔗 Caller It's just, I don't get pleasure out of going down on a girl.

38:41🔗 Shoot Me Down in Flames, what prompted the threesome?

38:45🔗 Adam Yeah.

38:45🔗 What made you two want to like?

38:48🔗 Caller We thought it would be fun.

38:49🔗 Adam But you did it a couple of times, right?

38:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:53🔗 Adam And the first time you did it, you got the feeling that she was a little bit attracted to you, right?

38:59🔗 Caller Well, the first time it was with one of my ex-boyfriends. And like, it started out where I was with him and then she kind of joined in.

39:07🔗 Adam Sure.

39:08🔗 Caller And you know what I mean?

39:09🔗 Drew I'm going to make a prediction that these two like are planning a career and like stripping or something. No, no, no. I don't mean to be pejorative about it.

39:19🔗 Caller And she also took me to get my tongue pierced.

39:20🔗 Drew The kind of boundary issues and powerlessness.

39:23🔗 Caller Yeah, it was like, she kind of, you know what I mean? She took me to, we went to the city once, she took me to get my tongue pierced. She was like, you know what you can get, you know what that means and stuff. And she took me to a sex shop.

39:35🔗 Adam Bit of a role model. She's like, it's like the mentor program, big sister. So what are you? Are you going to high school, Kitty?

39:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

39:45🔗 Adam You are? And how's that going?

39:48🔗 Caller It's great.

39:49🔗 Adam Oh, it is?

39:50🔗 Caller Yeah, I got kicked out.

39:52🔗 Caller Oh my God.

39:53🔗 Adam Hold on, we got to do a love line reenactment here for your listening pleasure.

39:59🔗 Drew So Kitty, do you go to school?

40:01🔗 Caller Mm-hmm, oh yeah.

40:02🔗 Drew High school?

40:03🔗 Adam Yeah.

40:03🔗 Drew How's that going?

40:04🔗 Going great.

40:06🔗 Adam Got kicked out.

40:10🔗 Drew Oh my God.

40:14🔗 Caller Kitty, what'd you get?

40:15🔗 Adam You kicked out for what? Too high a score on your SAT?

40:21🔗 Caller Assault.

40:22🔗 Adam Assault?

40:22🔗 Caller Yeah.

40:23🔗 Adam Ooh, okay.

40:25🔗 Caller Who'd you assault?

40:26🔗 Caller A girl who, like my father, passed away and she was going around telling people that he molested me.

40:31🔗 Adam Did he?

40:31🔗 Caller That's not true, no.

40:32🔗 Drew Who did molest you?

40:33🔗 Caller Nobody did.

40:34🔗 Adam Something.

40:35🔗 Caller And I've never been abused or anything like that.

40:38🔗 Adam Nothing, really?

40:39🔗 Caller Really, my parents were together, they loved each other and then he passed away.

40:42🔗 Drew What'd he die of?

40:43🔗 Caller A brain aneurysm.

40:45🔗 Drew How old was he?

40:46🔗 He was 42.

40:47🔗 Adam Oh boy.

40:49🔗 Drew So, how old were you?

40:51🔗 Caller I was eight.

40:52🔗 Adam You were eight?

40:53🔗 Yeah.

40:54🔗 Adam Oh, that's it. That's it. Because, you know, Kitty, to be honest, you really fit the profile of someone on this show who's had some trauma.

41:06🔗 Caller Yeah, I mean, I suffered panic attacks, and I had manic depression.

41:11🔗 Adam And it's probably the loss of your father.

41:14🔗 Caller Oh, it definitely is. I go to therapy.

41:15🔗 Drew And the biology of manic depression here, too.

41:17🔗 Adam Right. Okay, baby. Hey, can you slow down a little bit with all the activity?

41:23🔗 Caller Yeah, I kind of started really young.

41:25🔗 Drew You're going to end up with an HIV?

41:26🔗 How young?

41:27🔗 Caller I'm always protected.

41:28🔗 I'm on the pill.

41:29🔗 Drew And I have... The pill's not going to protect you against HIV, but what... You understand that?

41:33🔗 Caller Yeah, I always use protection, though.

41:35🔗 Drew Condoms.

41:35🔗 Caller And I have a diaphragm and everything.

41:37🔗 No, condoms. Do you use condoms?

41:39🔗 I use condoms.

41:40🔗 Drew And you said you lost your virginity at a young age?

41:43🔗 Oh, no.

41:44🔗 Caller I just started with sexual behavior at a young age.

41:46🔗 Caller At how old? Around 15.

41:49🔗 Adam All right. That's not terribly young. But boy, honey, you've been making up for it ever since. Kitty's like, oh, no, listen, I'm safe. I got an IUD. I use condom. No more playing. I take the depravera shot. I'm on the pill. I use a sponge. And diaphragm. And I use a diaphragm.

42:05🔗 Drew I'm protected.

42:06🔗 Adam Yeah. And there's a certain kind of tea I drink that...

42:08🔗 Caller I guess it's kind of like, I mean, ever since my father passed away, I've become very codependent with my... I'll become very close with one person. I've lost a lot of friends and I don't want to lose her.

42:21🔗 Adam Here's the thing, Kitty. You could afford to lose her. You really could. She's a very troubled person. Doesn't mean she's a bad person. Just means she's a troubled person. And at 17, it's hard to handle troubled people.

42:35🔗 Drew Especially when you're a big fixer and have your own issues.

42:37🔗 Adam Right. You will go down with them. I think this is an interesting point because there's a lot of 17, 18, 16 year olds, whatever. They have friends. They're good people, but they're troubled. They're real troubled. And it's hard to say, you know, to tell them to walk away from a friend of theirs, but you will go with them too. I mean, you need to have your own thing going on and you don't have it at 17. You don't have your own house, your own job, your own car, your own husband or wife or partner or whatever. You don't have your own thing and you'll just spin out with your friends. And even though they're good people, they will take you with them. So she needs to get away from this person.

43:11🔗 And back into school.

43:14🔗 Caller That's right.

43:15🔗 Adam School is going great except for the battery charge.

43:18🔗 Drew She said that was such a gust of her. It was like, oh great!

43:22🔗 Caller Great!

43:24🔗 Adam I figured she was like in the, you know, in the chess club in the Madrinas Escaderas. It's like the Spanish club, you know. All right. Meshell Ndegeocello is here. The album is Bitter. Anderson, where is that? We don't have it. What's going on with that? Oh, they want to go get it. Oh, I. I'm cool. All right. Now I got it all worked out. You're cool.

43:48🔗 This is on tape, right? That my record company forgot to bring the record.

43:53🔗 Adam Oh, yeah. You can play this back at the next meeting.

43:56🔗 All right.

43:56🔗 Adam All right. We'll take a break. We'll be back.

44:00🔗 Be right back in a minute.

44:11🔗 Caller We're the G-spot on your radio dial.

44:14🔗 Caller Oh, yeah, right there.

44:15🔗 Caller Loveline on 1027.

44:19🔗 Caller WEBN, Cincinnati.

44:30🔗 Adam We're going to take a quick ten-second timeout for a little affiliate association identification, and then we'll be back. Little Motley Crue and we'll do one more good call with them in just ten seconds. All right. Nikki and Vince were nice enough to hang out for one more call here, and they picked it. Now, I think they actually, they narrowed it down. Do we want to get Nicole, who caught her boyfriend making out with her brother, or do we want to talk to Christopher, who's obsessed with porn?

45:15🔗 Drew Girlfriend's obsessed with porn.

45:16🔗 Adam Oh, the girlfriend's obsessed with porn. Oh, okay.

45:18🔗 We should go with the pornography.

45:19🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah, that's the thing that's always the same thing.

45:21🔗 Go with pornography.

45:22🔗 We might have some insights.

45:23🔗 Adam Go with what you know. I think that was a Pat Travers record many years ago. Christopher?

45:31🔗 Yeah.

45:31🔗 Adam You're 19?

45:32🔗 Caller Yep.

45:33🔗 Adam What's going on?

45:34🔗 Caller Well, first off, I wanted to say hi to Vince and Nicky. How's it going, guys?

45:37🔗 Caller Oh, really good, man.

45:39🔗 Caller Oh, that's cool. Glad to hear that. And Adam, you're my best fan, man. You are so awesome.

45:45🔗 Adam Thanks. Yeah.

45:47🔗 Caller The situation that's going on is that my girlfriend, I found out recently that she's become really obsessed with porn. And it's gotten so out of hand now that she watches so much more porn than she wants to do, like spend more time with me. And it's starting to really bother me because, I mean, yeah, I'm a guy, I like to watch porn, you know, on occasion. But the thing is that whenever she and I want to go out on a date or something, she says she's got to like sit down and watch like porn before we go out. And it's like before we, before the easing is over, she's got to watch more porn. And it's like, it's really starting to bug me because I'm starting to wonder if she's like getting more attached to the porn than she is on me. And it's like, I'm trying to figure out what I can do about it.

46:30🔗 Does she, I mean, is it just, is it always masturbation with her?

46:34🔗 Caller Yeah, she likes to just go ahead and, you know, like masturbate whenever she's watching porn. It's like, she likes to feel herself up on it. And the thing is, is that it just really starts to bog me because I think she's like trying to replace porn or replace me with porn.

46:50🔗 Adam What kind of, well, it better to be replaced by porn than a soap opera or a dishwasher. I mean, if you've got to be replaced by something, please aren't me porn. Yeah, the pool man. Hey, what kind of porn is she into?

47:04🔗 Caller Namely, she's more into like x-rated videos, but other times she'll like go ahead and read up on magazines, stuff like, like Penthouse.

47:12🔗 Adam Yeah, but does she, is it girl on girl stuff or is it three-way stuff or what is it?

47:19🔗 Caller It kind of varies. It's more like a girl, girl, guy, girl, threesomes, like orgies, stuff like that.

47:25🔗 Just anything.

47:27🔗 That's a whole gambit.

47:28🔗 Adam She's versatile.

47:31🔗 Does she involve you in this, as far as you guys have sex and watch tape together, or is it all about foreplay?

47:39🔗 Caller Yeah, she's tried to pull me, to try to get me into it along with her. The thing is, if I want to get in it with my girlfriend, I want to do it when the TV's not on with a whole bunch of porn going on, or if there's a whole bunch of porn magazines lying around. I want to be having some quality time with just me and her.

47:56🔗 Adam Can you turn the sound down? Listen, I know you're looking for sympathetic ears here, but I don't think you're going to find any. I don't mind some porn going on in the background.

48:06🔗 Caller You can always make one yourself, have her watch it.

48:09🔗 That's not a bad idea, Vince. That's not a bad idea, Vince.

48:12🔗 Caller Actually, yeah, make one with your girlfriend.

48:14🔗 Caller She might dig that.

48:17🔗 We're getting the evil eye in here. That is bad advice.

48:23🔗 Adam Christopher, listen, you sound a little insecure. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. Enjoy it with her. She's not cheating on you.

48:34🔗 Caller Well, at least not that I'm aware of.

48:36🔗 Drew Is she pulling away emotionally?

48:38🔗 Caller Well, sometimes she likes to get, you know, like a little bit withdrawn whenever it's like, I don't want to sometimes participate in it. I mean, I've participated in it a couple of times. You know, it's like I didn't have a problem before, but it's like every time she watches porn, she wants me to get involved in it every single time. And it's like, I tell her that I don't want to do it every time. You know, it's like I want to sometimes just spend some cloudy time with her.

48:59🔗 Drew Is she pulling away emotionally from you?

49:02🔗 Caller Well, not really. She just...

49:05🔗 Drew This is all your issue.

49:06🔗 Caller She seems to get more withdrawn. You know, it's like when I say, I don't want to go ahead and...

49:09🔗 Drew Now, forget when you sort of refuse to participate. Is she actually using that as a way of avoiding contact with you, or is it your issue?

49:24🔗 Caller No, I don't think she uses it to like try to pull me away. I mean, yeah, I think in a big fact, the matter is that, yeah, I think it is...

49:31🔗 Adam All right, Chris Verff, listen, this is a blessing. Just get involved. Go ahead. Live a little. You know what I mean? Yeah. Enjoy yourself. She's not cheating on you. She likes the porn. Turn the sound down. You face the window. She can face the TV, work out one of those positions. She can have her porn. You can have her...

49:53🔗 What happens if you try to go a weekend without watching any porn? Can you guys talk? Can you guys, you know... Can you do anything? I mean, do you guys have anything in common besides just jumping in the sack together?

50:06🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Well, no. We got a lot of different things in common. I mean, she and I, we met through her sister. Her sister, she knew me and she said that I should go out with her sister because she thought that she and I would get along really well. And we got a lot of different things that are in common. And when we first met, we had nothing but we talked for like two days and then afterwards, we started getting intimate with each other. It was just not until recently, about two weeks ago, that she was starting to be more demanding on having me wanting to get more involved while she's watching the porn.

50:43🔗 Drew Two-week problem here, too.

50:45🔗 Yeah, I was going to say of two weeks, it's not that big. I mean, it's a big issue to you, but it's not. I thought you were talking six months or something, you know, and you were kind of losing your mind here.

50:56🔗 Caller Oh, no, no, no. She and I, we've known each other for the better part of about maybe a month and a half.

51:00🔗 All right.

51:01🔗 Caller I mean, she was doing this thing with porn before. It wasn't starting to get more. She wanted to do it every time until just a couple of weeks ago.

51:08🔗 Adam All right. You're fine. Just watch the porn, would you? Just shut up and watch the porn. You know, I've never thought I'd have to talk a guy into watching porn, you know. Please, for her, make the supreme sacrifice. Watch the porn. I know it's tough. I know it's like nails on the chalkboard, but you're going to have to just bite the bullet and watch the people getting it on while you're getting laid. And I know that's, I know it's a tall order, but sometimes you just have to make the sacrifice when you're with a woman. Jesus Christ. I wish I could, wait a minute, she has a sister. All right, we're going to let the guys go because they got to go to bed early.

51:46🔗 Caller You actually got to go put on a porn.

51:48🔗 Adam Yeah, I know. Me too. As a matter of fact, I can't talk about porn for the song without watching porn, Drew. Drew, take your pants off at least. Just get me through the show. I got to see something. All right, guys. Thanks a lot for coming in. We do appreciate it. We're going to go on to another call. Everyone go out and see. You're not going anywhere, Drew. Oh, okay. You can do that. I'll do that, too. Don't be strangers. Come back anytime you like. See you, guys. Gus?

52:16🔗 Yeah?

52:16🔗 Adam Gus, you're 15.

52:17🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:18🔗 Adam You're the only 15-year-old named Gus.

52:21🔗 Caller Well, it's my nickname.

52:22🔗 Adam Oh, it's your nickname.

52:23🔗 Caller Yeah, I just didn't want to give it away.

52:24🔗 Adam Okay.

52:25🔗 Caller Because everybody knows it would be me.

52:27🔗 Adam Right.

52:28🔗 Caller I've had this problem for a long time. What's your problem?

52:31🔗 Drew What's the deal?

52:32🔗 Caller Well, me and my, okay, first of all, me and my girlfriend, she's been, well, we had sex about two months ago. I called and I was talking about the day after pill, or.

52:45🔗 Adam Right, right.

52:47🔗 Drew Did you get it?

52:48🔗 Caller They gave me, they treated us like dirt and they wouldn't give it to us.

52:52🔗 Drew Who wouldn't give it to you?

52:53🔗 Caller The pharmacist. Her gynecologist told us to go to you.

52:57🔗 Adam So you had sex with your girlfriend.

52:59🔗 Caller Yeah.

52:59🔗 Adam It was unprotected.

53:01🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:02🔗 Adam You wanted to get the morning after pill.

53:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

53:04🔗 Drew And the doctor wrote a prescription for it.

53:06🔗 Caller The gynecologist, yeah.

53:08🔗 Drew And somebody wouldn't give it to you when you brought your prescription in?

53:12🔗 Caller They thought we were like too young and it's like really messed me up. Now this is three months later.

53:18🔗 Drew Why didn't you take your prescription to another pharmacy?

53:21🔗 Caller Because she just felt terrible and she didn't want to go through it again.

53:24🔗 Drew Oh, you know what? If I were that, the parents of that kid, I would do something. I feel like doing something now, you know. This is an outrage consumer. I mean, this is an unwanted pregnancy has incurred because of somebody being an idiot.

53:41🔗 Adam Yes. Now, we just, although we're talking to Young Gus, so we just have to make sure we're getting the story exactly right from Young Gus. Unprotected sex, girlfriend goes to her gynecologist, she gets a prescription for the morning after pill.

53:57🔗 Caller Yeah. She's how old?

53:59🔗 Caller Who?

53:59🔗 Drew She's how old?

54:00🔗 Caller 14.

54:01🔗 Drew Just 14.

54:02🔗 Adam And she gets a prescription for the morning after pill just a day or two after you guys had the unprotected sex?

54:09🔗 Caller The day after.

54:09🔗 Adam The day after.

54:10🔗 Caller That's what you're talking about.

54:13🔗 Adam She gets a prescription and she goes to the pharmacy. And the pharmacist says what?

54:19🔗 Caller He goes, because he's kind of like a family friend and I've known him a long time. He goes, well, you should know him better. Your parents brought you up better.

54:32🔗 Drew Was he working? He was working at a pharmacy at the time?

54:35🔗 Caller Yeah. At the clinic.

54:38🔗 Adam At a what?

54:39🔗 Caller At the clinic.

54:40🔗 Adam At a clinic.

54:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:42🔗 Drew Like a hospital.

54:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:45🔗 Adam Where do you live, Gus?

54:46🔗 Caller In Fresno.

54:47🔗 Adam In Fresno.

54:48🔗 Caller Yeah.

54:50🔗 Adam And he wasn't for birth control. I mean, he didn't think you were trying to get her on birth control.

54:55🔗 Caller No. We explained what happened and he goes, well, I don't want to tell your parents about this. I was like...

55:05🔗 Drew Why did you go to him? You guys might as well just go to a pharmacy and get the thing filled.

55:09🔗 Caller Huh?

55:09🔗 Drew Why did you go to him? Why not just go to a pharmacy and get the thing filled?

55:12🔗 Caller Because I thought he would understand more than anybody.

55:15🔗 Drew Oh, just go to a pharmacy and get the thing filled.

55:17🔗 Adam Okay, so you go to him and he starts giving you grief, and then what?

55:23🔗 Caller My girlfriend just said, let's just leave. I don't want to take more time with this. It's too humiliating.

55:30🔗 Adam Okay, so then he just lets you leave.

55:33🔗 Caller Well, he's saying, I might have to call your parents tonight, Eric.

55:38🔗 Adam I mean, Gus.

55:39🔗 Caller Yeah.

55:43🔗 Adam All right, Eric. So he said, you might have to call your parents tonight, and you guys just left.

55:55🔗 Caller He just took off because it's too humiliating.

55:57🔗 Adam You just took off? Okay. And the real question is, now she's pregnant?

56:02🔗 Caller Well, she's about three months pregnant, and she wants to keep it.

56:08🔗 Adam She's 14?

56:09🔗 Caller Yeah. And I'm saying, just adopt. We're not ready for this.

56:11🔗 Drew Oh, God bless you, Gus.

56:12🔗 Caller She wants to keep it. Who?

56:14🔗 Caller My mom.

56:16🔗 Drew These are the parents you were so afraid to have find out about this in the first place. Now they want to keep the child.

56:21🔗 Caller Well, my mom was very understanding, but her dad, her stepdad is so mad at me. Oh, my gosh.

56:30🔗 Adam Oh, man. And...

56:33🔗 Caller The whole family threatened me.

56:34🔗 Adam What about your dad? Your dad?

56:37🔗 Caller Oh, he doesn't care that much because he was 15 and he was a dad, so...

56:44🔗 Drew I can imagine that. Magical.

56:46🔗 Adam Drew shocked. How old is your mom now?

56:49🔗 Caller She's 31.

56:51🔗 Drew She was 16. Right about on track.

56:54🔗 Adam Wait a minute. He's not telling you about his 19-year-old brother. Do you have any older brothers or sisters?

56:59🔗 Caller Me?

57:00🔗 Adam Yeah.

57:00🔗 Caller I have one older brother.

57:02🔗 Caller Oh, Jesus Christ.

57:05🔗 Adam How old is the older brother?

57:07🔗 Caller 22.

57:08🔗 Adam No, wait a minute.

57:09🔗 Drew It doesn't make sense. Your mother was nine when she had an older brother?

57:14🔗 Caller What?

57:15🔗 Adam Listen, Eric.

57:16🔗 Drew How old is your older brother?

57:18🔗 Caller He's not really my brother.

57:19🔗 Drew Okay.

57:20🔗 Caller He's adopted.

57:22🔗 Drew Whatever.

57:23🔗 Adam I'm still trying to do some math there. Even with the adoption, it's a little mind-boggling. Okay. Listen. Um, you need to get your girlfriend to give this child up to adoption.

57:39🔗 Caller I'm going to turn it on, but she won't listen to me.

57:44🔗 Adam I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I would, um... I mean, I don't know if you have any legal recourse with the pharmacist or what you have. I don't know if it's, you know, he said, he said, or whatever. I don't know who's... I don't think Young Gus's testimony would stand up in court against a guy with a... Pharmacy degree. Any kind of decree at all is going to say even a GED. But, oh man, everybody. Do you see? I mean, you just, you gotta understand that this is the most permanent thing in the world. It just is. And it never goes away. I mean, I think if people really thought it was going to be a year commitment, they wouldn't do it if they could feel it. Do you know what I mean? But it's 18, 20 years, whatever. It keeps going. All right, so I don't know. You got a tough dilemma there, Gus. I would really seriously try to talk to your mother, try to talk to her mother and really go for adoption. And you know what I would do? I would try to enlist the services of somebody who could help you make this case.

58:54🔗 Drew Well, the cool mom, maybe.

58:57🔗 Adam Yeah.

58:57🔗 Drew Although she wants to keep the baby, which is...

58:59🔗 Adam Well, she was pregnant at 15 too or whatever. And she adopted a 22 year old. Oh, Jesus. Josh? Yeah. Yeah, you're 13. What's going on?

59:09🔗 Caller Um, hold on.

59:11🔗 Caller I, a caller called about, he had a double X Y chromosome.

59:19🔗 Drew Right.

59:20🔗 Caller My teacher, I had asked my teacher about that. And she said, uh, usually they live up to, uh, they live up to 16. I'm wondering if that's true or that could be wrong.

59:33🔗 Drew Uh, I don't see a word that would shorten left expectancy any.

59:36🔗 Adam All right, Drew, how does this work? You got the X chromosome as the guy one, right?

59:40🔗 Drew No, it's the girl one.

59:41🔗 Adam Oh, the X one's the girl one?

59:43🔗 Drew The Y is the guy one. X X. This is, this is girl. X X. Guy is X Y.

59:50🔗 Adam Oh, it is?

59:52🔗 Caller Oh, Jesus.

59:53🔗 Adam What? There's a, I'll get into it off the air. What? I don't want to advertise something, but I got to talk to you off the air. What? No, it's got nothing to do with me. It's nothing. When I talk to you off the air about it, you'll know what I'm talking about.

1:00:07🔗 Drew I hate the way you do this.

1:00:08🔗 Adam It's just, it's another show and it's-

1:00:10🔗 Drew Einstein money something?

1:00:11🔗 Adam It's something. And it's really, it sounds more tantalizing than it is. It's nothing. But so girls XX, guys XY, and XXY is what?

1:00:24🔗 Drew It should be a guy, I would imagine.

1:00:26🔗 Adam But not quite?

1:00:28🔗 Drew Well, this, again, I don't know much about the mosaics of systems that associate with the sex hormone abnormalities. Let's see, X-Kleinfelger is XYY.

1:00:40🔗 Adam All right, so.

1:00:41🔗 Drew And XXY, I'm...

1:00:43🔗 Adam What do you do, how do you get an extra chromosome?

1:00:45🔗 Drew It's just when the cells are dividing, when they're forming into eggs and sperm, instead of dividing into a single sex hormone, sometimes two travel together into one sperm or one egg.

1:00:55🔗 Adam Eggs and sperm, you know, it sounds like the world's worst omelet. I was just thinking just the way you said that.

1:00:59🔗 Drew Green eggs and sperm?

1:01:00🔗 Adam Yeah, can I have a side of ranchero sauce with that?

1:01:05🔗 Caller Josh? Yeah.

1:01:06🔗 Adam Okay, I don't know, but listen to your teacher, would you?

1:01:09🔗 Caller Okay.

1:01:10🔗 Adam Okay.

1:01:11🔗 Drew I don't know of any reason they would be dying at a young age. She may be confusing other true trisomies. There are things like trisomy 21.

1:01:18🔗 Adam Trisomy is when you have three chromosomes.

1:01:20🔗 Drew Three are the same, yeah.

1:01:22🔗 Adam Right. And bisomy is when you like guys and chicks, right? No.

1:01:26🔗 Drew That's half-summit.

1:01:27🔗 Adam Thank you. Nicole?

1:01:29🔗 Yeah.

1:01:29🔗 Adam You're 16.

1:01:31🔗 Caller Right.

1:01:31🔗 Adam Let's go now. Go ahead, Nicole.

1:01:33🔗 Caller Well, I'm really worried about vaginal odor.

1:01:37🔗 Caller All right.

1:01:38🔗 Caller I know that like Douche isn't good for you at all. And I don't know if there's any way other than Douche to like get rid of the odor.

1:01:47🔗 Adam Well, not only is it bad for you, but it's like a horrid aftertaste. Have you ever had this?

1:01:51🔗 Drew If you have an odor, it's often from an infection. And so you should talk to a doctor about some antibiotics.

1:01:58🔗 Caller Actually, I already went to the doctor. I thought, cause I read in a magazine about like Vaginitis.

1:02:04🔗 Drew Right, Vaginitis is either Gardnarella or Trichomonas. It has a bad smell. And that's a very common reason for that.

1:02:10🔗 Adam Drew, how far does Douche get up there?

1:02:12🔗 Drew It's just in the vagina.

1:02:13🔗 Adam Is it nothing, couldn't you handle that? The sort of in the tub?

1:02:16🔗 Caller I already tried it. It's like this long wand that goes up in. It's unpleasant.

1:02:24🔗 Drew Yeah, but it doesn't often do much for the smell thing.

1:02:26🔗 Adam But are you supposed to bottom out the container against the outside of the vagina?

1:02:32🔗 Drew Not necessarily.

1:02:33🔗 Adam The wand, how far is that wand supposed to go up there?

1:02:35🔗 Drew I suppose it's never comfortable because if there's pressure behind it, it'll fill the whole space.

1:02:40🔗 Adam Yeah. But couldn't you just do that like in the tub kind of thing?

1:02:43🔗 Caller Yeah, as opposed to what?

1:02:45🔗 Adam I don't know. I mean, why douche when you got the tub?

1:02:48🔗 Drew You'd have to have like a shower thing.

1:02:50🔗 Adam Yeah. Well, no. When you go in the tub and you're in water, when a woman's in water.

1:02:56🔗 Drew It doesn't fill up.

1:02:56🔗 Adam It doesn't fill up?

1:02:57🔗 Drew It's not like a bucket or something.

1:03:00🔗 Caller It fills up.

1:03:01🔗 Drew It sinks.

1:03:01🔗 Adam You just say bucket, didn't you?

1:03:02🔗 Drew It sinks.

1:03:03🔗 Adam Really? It doesn't work that way?

1:03:05🔗 Drew No. Why not? It doesn't work. Does your anus fill up?

1:03:11🔗 Adam With the help of a gondola hose or a jacuzzi jet, sure.

1:03:13🔗 Drew Oh, man.

1:03:14🔗 Adam Well, wait a minute. But if I go under water and I open my mouth, it'll fill up. Won't it?

1:03:22🔗 Drew Yeah. But if you...

1:03:24🔗 Adam Now, wait a minute.

1:03:24🔗 Drew I can't have this conversation.

1:03:25🔗 Adam If a woman goes under water.

1:03:28🔗 Drew Upside down.

1:03:28🔗 Adam And up, and turns herself upside down.

1:03:30🔗 Drew Head first in the bathtub.

1:03:32🔗 Adam Like you do that, like, I'll meet you at the drain, you know, in the pool. They go down to the pool and you swim down to the drain and she puts her fingers down and they drain. Then her feet are up and she opens her legs a little bit. Won't it fill up?

1:03:44🔗 Caller Nicole?

1:03:46🔗 Caller You know, I really wouldn't know.

1:03:48🔗 Adam Yeah. Get to the bottom of that.

1:03:50🔗 Drew So you saw the doctor.

1:03:52🔗 Caller Right, and I got tested for vaginosis and she was kind of confused why I came in. And then she said that there was nothing wrong, you know, but my boyfriend, you know, went down on me and he noticed an odor.

1:04:06🔗 Drew Boy, there's such simple treatment out of these, Metrogel, metronidazole cream for a week. It's an antibiotic cream you can take that gets rid of most of these vaginitis infections.

1:04:17🔗 Adam What?

1:04:17🔗 Drew Oh, no.

1:04:18🔗 Adam Yeah?

1:04:19🔗 Drew What?

1:04:20🔗 Caller She said that I didn't have it.

1:04:21🔗 Drew Well, perhaps she's wrong, perhaps she had a triose of antibiotics. I would continue to...

1:04:26🔗 Adam Maybe just ate Indian food or something too, you know? You know, I ended up just thinking, you know, all those conversations, all those commercials with the mom and the daughter and the whole freshness thing, it's always sort of chick on chick, one chick talking to another chick.

1:04:41🔗 Drew Oh, there's a thing for the man show here.

1:04:43🔗 Adam We should start weaving the boyfriend testimonial in there, you know what I mean? Where the woman's talking to mom saying, you know, I didn't feel as fresh as I could. And there's like some boyfriend like in the background going, oh, Christ.

1:04:57🔗 Drew Or something similar like those coffee commercials where they substitute instant coffee. Like a-

1:05:01🔗 Adam You mean like a testimonial?

1:05:03🔗 Drew Yeah, right.

1:05:03🔗 Adam Yeah, I'm just saying having a guy sort of testify on one of those not so fresh commercials, I think would really drive the message home. You know what I mean? Like what the hell is your mom care? How close is she getting to your crotch?

1:05:18🔗 Drew Oh no.

1:05:18🔗 Adam You know what I mean?

1:05:19🔗 Drew The guy can get quite impassioned.

1:05:21🔗 Adam Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying. Ham it up. He doesn't need to hold his nose or go like, woo Lordy or anything like that. Just have him in the background nodding his head. All right, we'll get to this after this.

1:05:48🔗 Caller Your office at night is so exciting.

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1:06:52🔗 Caller Half a mile to go.

1:06:53🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:06:54🔗 Caller Who are those people running behind us?

1:06:55🔗 Caller I don't know.

1:06:56🔗 Caller They're gaining on us.

1:06:57🔗 Caller Hey, hold up.

1:06:59🔗 Caller You're fast.

1:07:01🔗 Caller Excuse me?

1:07:01🔗 Caller We all just wanted to say thank you for giving to the United Way.

1:07:05🔗 Caller Oh, no problem.

1:07:06🔗 Caller You helped my brother's family get the counseling they needed to help them through a rough time.

1:07:10🔗 Caller You're a wonderful woman.

1:07:11🔗 Caller Well, thank you.

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1:08:23🔗 Caller Recently, I had laser vision correction surgery from the Cincinnati Eye Institute. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. My results are absolutely incredible. And I'd actually considered having this surgery before. I've gone in for all the procedures and all the pre-op and then I got chicken. I don't mind telling you. Someone mess with my eyes. I don't think so. Then I talked to the people at the Cincinnati Eye Institute. They talked me through the entire procedure. Made me feel so completely comfortable. And the best part was, didn't break the bank account either. They'll work with you for a payment plan that best fits your needs. The best experience of my life happened at the Cincinnati Eye Institute. Call them for more information. 1-877-984-2020. It's the Cincinnati Eye Institute. Call right now. 1-877-984-2020. My results are incredible. And for the very first time, don't need any glasses or any contacts. So thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone from the Cincinnati Eye Institute. The Cincinnati Eye Institute, they changed my life. They could change yours, too.

1:09:49🔗 Caller We're not keeping you up, are we?

1:09:51🔗 Caller I'm pitching a tent.

1:09:53🔗 Caller Oh, that's good. It's Love Line.

1:10:07🔗 Adam It is Love Line. Unwritten Laws are our guests tonight. Third CD is called Unwritten Law. PK and Scott are both here from the band. They're out in the parking lot smoking, so I think what we should do is hear something from Unwritten Law. This one is called Lonesome. Yeah, that's lonesome. Unwritten Law, that's a good song. Drew was, we were just talking to the guys during the, while the song was playing, we were in here having a conversation, and Drew gave the band quite a compliment. The guys, Scott asked Drew, hey, you guys having a good time? I mean, is it all right? We want you, you know.

1:14:11🔗 Caller We just want to make sure you guys are having a good time.

1:14:13🔗 Adam Right, because you guys have listened to the show for a long time, right?

1:14:16🔗 Caller You guys probably have a lot of people who suck on here.

1:14:19🔗 Adam Right. Well, we certainly have. And you guys don't suck. And that's as good a compliment as Drew gave you. Because Drew's honest.

1:14:26🔗 Caller Drew said it wasn't bad, so it's good. That was his compliment.

1:14:30🔗 As long as it's not bad.

1:14:33🔗 Adam All right. I was going to get to that.

1:14:35🔗 Caller I said it for you.

1:14:36🔗 That's all right.

1:14:37🔗 Caller How's that?

1:14:37🔗 Adam Jessica.

1:14:38🔗 Caller Jessica. Hello?

1:14:41🔗 Adam You're 18.

1:14:42🔗 Caller Yes.

1:14:42🔗 Adam Hey.

1:14:43🔗 Caller Hey.

1:14:44🔗 Drew What's going on there?

1:14:45🔗 Caller Okay.

1:14:45🔗 Caller I have a question.

1:14:48🔗 Caller My boyfriend and I have been with him for probably a year now. Hello?

1:14:53🔗 Drew Yeah.

1:14:53🔗 Caller Hey.

1:14:53🔗 Drew Just because we're listening doesn't mean we're not here.

1:14:55🔗 Caller Is this thing on?

1:14:56🔗 Adam Let's stop the part about this verbal affirmation after every syllable that comes out of your mouth. All right?

1:15:02🔗 Caller Well, I didn't know. Okay.

1:15:03🔗 Adam Just ask it.

1:15:04🔗 Caller Okay. Well, anyways. And so his penis used to be straight.

1:15:09🔗 Adam Right.

1:15:10🔗 Drew When?

1:15:11🔗 Caller Was that in NOM?

1:15:16🔗 Drew What do you mean, what do you mean?

1:15:19🔗 Caller Well, now it leans to the left a little.

1:15:21🔗 Drew When did it used to be straight?

1:15:22🔗 Caller Me too.

1:15:24🔗 Caller Well, I probably noticed in the past couple months.

1:15:26🔗 Drew So during the time you've been viewing this.

1:15:29🔗 Caller Yes.

1:15:31🔗 Drew All right.

1:15:31🔗 Caller I was just wondering.

1:15:32🔗 He probably has left the night.

1:15:35🔗 Caller Left the side is what's.

1:15:37🔗 Caller Well, I was just wondering if it's. Me or yes, it is.

1:15:43🔗 Adam Yes, no, not only are you at fault for his penis, but all the other millions of men. We now can put a name behind the disease.

1:15:54🔗 Caller It is Jessica left aside, left the night is what is it?

1:15:58🔗 Adam Cytosinitis, what do you figure you did do it?

1:16:01🔗 Caller Well, well, it's not just me. I mean, he he masturbates, but he does.

1:16:06🔗 Drew Oh, my God. Well, a little curve is normal. And is it hereditary or can you sometimes sometimes injury to the penis can cause it to curve one side or the other. I encourage them to take some vitamin E, vitamin E, about 40, 80, it's vitamin A. They might help that. Huh? It's not permanent. It can be. It's normal.

1:16:24🔗 Caller Dr. Drew, I take vitamin E for my hair and stuff, but I'm still like boomerang.

1:16:29🔗 Drew You're still curved.

1:16:29🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm still curved. I'm like that. And he's fine too.

1:16:32🔗 Drew He's curved.

1:16:33🔗 Caller Pat, you're okay, man.

1:16:34🔗 Caller Huh?

1:16:35🔗 Caller Vitamin E is helping, but you're still cool.

1:16:37🔗 Caller I'm cool, but like I'm still lefty. Lefty side. What'd you say?

1:16:40🔗 Adam That's fine. Jessica? Jessica? Okay. It's all right. But let me explain something. It could be a genetic problem. Something that was passed down from father to son. And the only way you can find that out is if you can actually see his father's erect penis. Now, listen to me. I'm dead serious here, Jessica. I don't know what you got to do, but somehow you got to get a picture of his father's erect penis. All right?

1:17:16🔗 Drew And then what should you do if she finds out it's hereditary?

1:17:18🔗 Caller Likely hereditary? Or do you think?

1:17:21🔗 Adam If you see that his father has a penis that's bent, I want you to confront him immediately.

1:17:27🔗 Caller What if it's entirely impossible for me to see his father?

1:17:31🔗 Adam Nothing's impossible.

1:17:32🔗 Caller Just ask.

1:17:32🔗 Adam Where there's a will, there's a way. Now, come on.

1:17:35🔗 Caller Just ask.

1:17:36🔗 Drew Jessica, don't worry about this, please.

1:17:39🔗 Caller Actually...

1:17:39🔗 Adam All right, Jessica, he's fine.

1:17:41🔗 Caller You stop, I'll stop.

1:17:42🔗 Adam No problem.

1:17:42🔗 Caller You stop, I'll stop.

1:17:43🔗 Caller Then everything will be okay. Boomerang.

1:17:45🔗 Adam Drew, you don't think that was solid advice?

1:17:47🔗 Drew Oh, brilliant. Genius.

1:17:49🔗 Caller Isn't that stuff normal, though?

1:17:50🔗 Adam Left and right?

1:17:50🔗 Drew Yes, it is.

1:17:51🔗 Caller It is, right?

1:17:51🔗 Drew You're dressed to one side or the other.

1:17:53🔗 Adam All right, but let me ask this, though, Drew. The curvature after... After...

1:18:01🔗 Drew The erection...

1:18:02🔗 Adam .starting, I mean, she said it was like, you know, halfway into the relationship, it began curving.

1:18:06🔗 Drew It's kind of weird, isn't it? Yeah.

1:18:07🔗 Adam But what a funny penis you've got. It's very peculiar. That was Rod Stewart, by the way, talking about how funny my penis was. I should have never shown that Lyme in my penis.

1:18:18🔗 Caller Oh, that Lyme.

1:18:19🔗 He called him that Lyme dude.

1:18:21🔗 Adam What a welch. Sean. Now, why would it start curving, though? I think she didn't notice it.

1:18:26🔗 Notice it.

1:18:26🔗 Adam It could be...

1:18:27🔗 Drew And trauma can cause it to move around. It can.

1:18:29🔗 Adam Sean?

1:18:30🔗 Caller Yes.

1:18:30🔗 Adam You're 29.

1:18:31🔗 Caller Yes.

1:18:32🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:18:33🔗 Caller Hey, how you doing? Good. Listen, I have an ongoing question between my wife and I. I'm very happily married. And my question is, if she can come, or most women can come and have an orgasm, those are two separate entities.

1:18:54🔗 Drew What the hell are you talking about?

1:18:55🔗 Caller Isn't that the same thing? Coming and orgasming?

1:18:58🔗 Drew Yes.

1:18:58🔗 Caller Well, women...

1:18:59🔗 Caller For guys.

1:19:01🔗 Adam Hold on, hold on. Don't let me lecture you guys.

1:19:04🔗 Caller Okay.

1:19:05🔗 Adam Go ahead. Say it again, Sean. First off, what swamp are you calling from? I swear to God, I just heard a frog be eaten by an alligator. What is going on over there? Are you calling from a tent?

1:19:21🔗 Caller Oh my God. Have a heart.

1:19:23🔗 Adam What's going on with the crickets over there? Just... All right. Sean, don't say anything. Okay. Let us hear the crickets.

1:19:29🔗 Drew Holy smokes.

1:19:32🔗 I heard it.

1:19:33🔗 Caller You can hear that.

1:19:34🔗 Sean, be quiet for a second.

1:19:36🔗 Caller Hello. Okay.

1:19:39🔗 Adam All right. All I can do is a hostess attempt to do certain things and then the rest is up to God and the listeners.

1:19:45🔗 Caller I'm sitting on my back porch here.

1:19:46🔗 Adam Okay. All right. So you say that your wife can come and have an orgasm.

1:19:52🔗 Caller Well, for the most part, most women can have two separate type of enjoyment.

1:20:01🔗 Adam No, no. We're not aware of that. We don't agree with that. We don't condone it.

1:20:05🔗 Caller Oh, no.

1:20:06🔗 Adam No, no. Listen to me, Sean. What do you mean by come and have an orgasm?

1:20:11🔗 Drew What the hell does that mean?

1:20:12🔗 Adam And why do you separate those two? All right. Let me ask you this, Sean, because I think we could be in for a long night. Can you come and have an orgasm?

1:20:23🔗 Caller Well, the question is most women on a light scale can have some enjoyment. And then on the other end of the scale, they can have an orgasm.

1:20:35🔗 Caller Is this true?

1:20:37🔗 Adam Well, women can, okay, a woman can sense pleasure just like a man can without having an orgasm. Correct. Once you have an orgasm, you have an orgasm.

1:20:48🔗 Drew How many means, an orgasm means achieving a climax that is a specific biological event?

1:20:54🔗 Caller That's an SAT question.

1:20:55🔗 Adam All right.

1:20:57🔗 Drew They're the same event.

1:20:58🔗 Adam I'm still not exactly sure what your question is. She cannot come and then have an orgasm. If you come, you have an orgasm, unless someone's calling you. That's different.

1:21:08🔗 Caller Come is just short for orgasm.

1:21:09🔗 Adam All right, Sean.

1:21:11🔗 Caller Well, there seems to be just a difference between the two.

1:21:19🔗 Adam Between men and women or between coming and orgasms?

1:21:23🔗 Caller Between different women. I hear from...

1:21:26🔗 Adam Oh, boy. Didn't...

1:21:27🔗 Caller They have two different types of feelings. They have a mild, let's say a mild orgasm or an extreme orgasm.

1:21:37🔗 Drew That's correct.

1:21:38🔗 Adam That is correct.

1:21:39🔗 Drew They can have different intensities.

1:21:40🔗 Adam And you've had good nights and bad nights yourself, though, right, Sean?

1:21:43🔗 Caller Now, I'm just curious. Hey, us men, are we on the mild end of the side or can we actually achieve one of those orgasms?

1:21:53🔗 Adam One of those big orgasms?

1:21:55🔗 Caller Such as...

1:21:56🔗 Adam All right, all right, Sean, here's what I need you to do. I need you to put down the jug and go back into the house. Oh, my God.

1:22:04🔗 Caller Lay off the grog.

1:22:07🔗 Drew There's a little extra spare time he's got on his hands.

1:22:09🔗 Caller What's he thinking?

1:22:11🔗 Adam I'm sure he's writing a book or something.

1:22:13🔗 Drew Oh, my God.

1:22:15🔗 Adam And you know what always cracks me up, too? It's like I've been married for 11 years. We have a wonderful marriage. And I think to myself, I've talked to Sean for two and a half minutes, I want to kill him. What can these two possibly be talking about? You know what I mean? What do him and his wife talk about?

1:22:36🔗 Caller All right.

1:22:38🔗 Adam You know what I was picturing when I saw the shot? I was picturing that Tabasco commercial where that fat, sweaty guy sits on his porch and a mosquito bites him while he's eating that Tabasco sauce and then it flies away and blows up.

1:22:51🔗 Caller All I can see is the Budweiser commercial.

1:22:53🔗 Drew Budweiser Frogs.

1:22:56🔗 Adam All right. Sean, I still don't know what your question is, but if you have an orgasm and your wife has an orgasm, God bless both of you. Never call the show again.

1:23:04🔗 Caller Exactly.

1:23:05🔗 Caller What are you talking about?

1:23:06🔗 Adam Well, that was the Budweiser there? Play it again.

1:23:09🔗 Caller What the hell?

1:23:12🔗 Caller All right.

1:23:13🔗 Adam We'll take a break. We'll leave with that Budweiser momentum.

1:23:38🔗 Caller It's love line.

1:23:39🔗 Caller Alright.

1:23:43🔗 Adam All right. Ben and Billy are both here from the Colt. They got nothing to plug, but... All right, let's see how much we can do in the next 10 minutes. Susie?

1:23:55🔗 Caller Yes.

1:23:55🔗 Adam You're 28, what's going on?

1:23:57🔗 Caller Oh, God, hi, I can't believe it. Billy Duffy?

1:23:59🔗 This is Billy Duffy.

1:24:01🔗 Caller This is a dream come true for me. You are my biggest influence. I just want to say that you are just the best guitarist I've ever heard. I'm a practicing musician myself and I just wanted to call and say hi. Hello, thanks for that. Thank you guys for getting back together.

1:24:18🔗 Adam Where are you calling from?

1:24:19🔗 Caller Riverside.

1:24:20🔗 Drew She's got the shakiness of that 20-year-old who spoke to her first call tonight.

1:24:23🔗 Adam Well, she's talking to her idols.

1:24:25🔗 Caller Really, I've written you a letter, you sent me your autograph, I don't know if you recall, but I'm not like poster boy for answering but I do get to it sometimes. I'm shaking. It's like a dream come true.

1:24:42🔗 Caller I practice every day, you know, and do you play any cult songs?

1:24:47🔗 Caller Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:24:48🔗 What's your favorite to play from a guitar point of view? Yeah. What do you like the best? Just from a guitarist point of view rather than a song, you know, a lyrical or whatever. What do you like?

1:24:58🔗 Caller My favorite song.

1:25:00🔗 Yeah. From guitar. Which one do you like to play the best?

1:25:02🔗 Caller I'm really spending a lot of time with the last cult release, the self-titled one.

1:25:07🔗 Oh, OK.

1:25:08🔗 Caller But I mean, I love everything, everything from death cult. I have everything. I have pictures all over my wall. I mean, this is such a dream come true.

1:25:15🔗 Adam And you play the guitar?

1:25:17🔗 Caller Yes.

1:25:18🔗 Adam And you play the riffs?

1:25:20🔗 Caller I'm doing my best.

1:25:21🔗 Caller The thing is, I hurt myself. I was so excited.

1:25:26🔗 Adam Pulled like a Pete Townsend where you put your hand through the wah-wah bar.

1:25:30🔗 It's a very physical thing. The guitar can tell you.

1:25:33🔗 Caller Yeah, sure.

1:25:33🔗 Caller Well, I was going through a really rough time. I was divorced and I got married and I got divorced and just doing a lot of soul searching and finding myself.

1:25:42🔗 Caller Music's very therapeutic.

1:25:43🔗 Caller Oh, yes.

1:25:44🔗 Caller Absolutely.

1:25:45🔗 Caller I mean, we were talking about that earlier, right, Dr? That's right.

1:25:48🔗 Caller I love you. Bye. Bye-bye.

1:25:50🔗 Adam All right. Boy, she was a sound like fan. Check that out.

1:25:54🔗 Drew We got to play a song now.

1:25:54🔗 Adam Do you want to do it?

1:25:55🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:25:55🔗 Adam OK. Let's do that.

1:25:57🔗 Caller I was hoping I could talk to one of my fans.

1:26:00🔗 You want to show it to your fan?

1:26:01🔗 Adam The show's only two hours.

1:26:02🔗 Caller My fan.

1:26:03🔗 I heard he was in a restaurant.

1:26:05🔗 Adam Oh, wait a minute. Oh, thank you.

1:26:06🔗 Caller He's at the bike shop.

1:26:07🔗 Adam Hold on. There's a man fan.

1:26:09🔗 Hey, we found him.

1:26:11🔗 Caller Billy, you rock.

1:26:12🔗 Adam You're 26.

1:26:13🔗 Caller Thank you very much.

1:26:14🔗 Caller Oh, enough about him. I saw you at the Viper room. I saw you a couple of years ago. A while back.

1:26:19🔗 Adam Let him talk.

1:26:19🔗 Caller You are awesome.

1:26:21🔗 Caller Thanks very much. We're having a lot of fun at the moment. It's a great band. I mean, we've had over the years, you've had several lineups of the cult that have evolved. And we're really happy. We're really excited about getting out there.

1:26:32🔗 Caller Oh, I saw you last month and it was awesome.

1:26:35🔗 Caller Isn't it good?

1:26:36🔗 Caller It was unbelievable.

1:26:37🔗 Adam Kiss Matt's ass for a minute, would you?

1:26:40🔗 Caller Matt, you kick ass too, man. Well, you heard the rest.

1:26:42🔗 Caller Now you got the best. So here you go.

1:26:44🔗 Caller I got something for Drew. He's the man. Drew, I want to personally thank you for giving me information on the morning after pill. My girlfriend and I used it. She is not pregnant. And I would like to personally, I mean, if I could, I'd just take your hand.

1:26:57🔗 Drew God bless you. We missed, there's another abortion.

1:27:00🔗 Caller Squirt away.

1:27:01🔗 Caller Taking away.

1:27:02🔗 Caller Right, avoid it.

1:27:03🔗 Caller We really don't need a kid right now. So Dr. Drew, thank you.

1:27:05🔗 Adam All right, David, what about me?

1:27:07🔗 Caller Adam, you can, man shows the bond.

1:27:09🔗 Adam Okay, there you go. All right, David, we all feel better. Geez, I don't know. We were supposed to play another cold film, but now we're screwed on time. So let's take another call. I don't feel bad. I mean, it's a sanctuary. You guys all know it.

1:27:24🔗 Caller We all know she's so sanctuary.

1:27:27🔗 Drew Very big as a bumper coming back.

1:27:29🔗 Adam Okay, we'll do that. We'll hear it as a bumper.

1:27:32🔗 Caller Jade? Hi.

1:27:33🔗 Adam What's going on?

1:27:34🔗 Caller Basically, I just wanted to know if you have any ideas. Usually when I feel like really emotional, the only thing that lets me get it out is to like pick up like anything sharp and just start carving on myself.

1:27:46🔗 Drew That's a common thing.

1:27:48🔗 Caller And I know it's bad and I need to think, I don't know of any ways to not do that instead.

1:27:54🔗 Drew Just think of it as a symptom and it's just something that should show you that you've got some very heavy feelings you're trying to deal with.

1:28:02🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:02🔗 Drew And hopefully compel you to get some treatment.

1:28:05🔗 Caller I've been diagnosed as manic depressive, or not manic depressive, but depressive. And I'm taking Zoloft right now.

1:28:13🔗 Adam But if she's still carving, should she take more?

1:28:15🔗 Drew Well, she needs some supervision. Are you seeing a therapist now?

1:28:19🔗 Caller Yeah, I am, but I'm not exactly carving right now, but I feel like sometimes it's like so much trying not to.

1:28:27🔗 Drew Yes.

1:28:28🔗 Adam But the point is you're not doing it.

1:28:30🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:28:31🔗 Adam So that's good.

1:28:32🔗 Caller I don't feel like I can keep it up because I'm ready to like just grab something right now.

1:28:37🔗 Drew Well, find, listen, find ways to reach out to other people when you feel this way, like you're doing right now with us. Does talking to the people in any way diminish this impulse?

1:28:51🔗 Caller Kind of, but not really.

1:28:53🔗 Drew It's still there, I'm sure, but you're not doing it, you're not thinking about it, you're talking to somebody right now. And that's the kind of thing you need to learn how to do and do in a way that you can connect with them and have them support you with some of these awful feelings you're having. I mean, right now when you finish with us, let me kind of give you a support line number at least. Yeah. Let's see, 800.

1:29:15🔗 Adam Hold on, you got a pen?

1:29:16🔗 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:29:17🔗 Adam You're not carving it into you, right?

1:29:21🔗 Drew 800-422-4453.

1:29:24🔗 Caller 422 what?

1:29:26🔗 Drew 4453.

1:29:28🔗 Adam That's 800 number?

1:29:29🔗 Caller Yeah.

1:29:30🔗 Drew And just somewhere you can go and just dump these feelings so they don't build up to the point that your brain has nothing else to do but to create these destructive behaviors.

1:29:37🔗 Adam That's the number of a liquor store in Kentucky?

1:29:39🔗 Drew I hope not.

1:29:40🔗 Adam No, what is that number?

1:29:41🔗 Drew It's Child Help USA.

1:29:42🔗 Adam Okay. Call that and take care of yourself, Jay. She's on the Prozac. She's getting a little therapy. It's all off, Jay. It's all off. Same thing, right?

1:29:51🔗 Drew Similar. Okay.

1:29:52🔗 Adam We'll take a little break. And we'll be back.

1:30:29🔗 Drew You did a good job of what you've got.

1:30:32🔗 Caller That's right.

1:30:33🔗 Adam I mean, I don't or I should?

1:30:35🔗 Drew Well, that means you focus on what you're doing.

1:30:37🔗 Adam Oh, it is? Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Drew. So, until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:30:46🔗 Caller This is been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. And they're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Anne Wilkins Engel. Now, please listen to this station longer.

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