6:34🔗AdamEep, it is the Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-L-A-V-E-191, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is a board certified physician and addiction specialist, medicine, whatever. Had a couple of beers over, watched the Kings game tonight. Got to go in one of those luxury boxes. You smell anything? No, less than usual. I ate 40 pounds of hot dogs to cover it up. I even keistered a few just to play it safe.
7:07🔗AdamYeah, yeah, it's nice. All right, so Kings were up 3-0 when I left and that was that. Our guest tonight is Oleander. We have Thomas Flowers and Doug Eldridge, both from the band coincidentally enough. They got themselves a CD out and it's about to go gold, I was told. What does that mean? You guys know what that means?
7:27🔗OleanderGoing gold means you have the opportunity to go platinum. Going platinum means you get the opportunity by your grandfather in your house.
7:51🔗AdamForever. As a matter of fact, I'm so Pavlovian in my training that when I heard the beginning of the song, I just thought it was time we're just coming back from a commercial.
8:00🔗DrewSo you're talking, we spent the afternoon again together today.
8:03🔗AdamOh, yes. Family Guy. Yeah, Drew and I did an episode of the Family Guy, which is a show I really enjoy. Actually, we did about 10 seconds of an episode of Family Guy.
8:12🔗DrewThanks for that direction, though, too. I appreciate it.
8:14🔗AdamTrue. It's the world's worst actor, everybody. I don't know if people listening to the show realize just how little ability you actually have. Well, actually, they should have a pretty good idea if they listen to the show.
8:44🔗AdamAnd Godsmack was just in here last night. And your guy was just telling me that you guys were at Woodstock, too. We were just talking to Godsmack about that. How was that?
8:55🔗OleanderThat was awesome. I mean, you know, we got to open up the West stage. James Brown on the East side opening up for us. I mean, it's pretty cool, you know, you got the Godfather Soul going on. Then we get to go on. It doesn't get bigger than Woodstock, you know. And, uh, or stinkier.
9:12🔗OleanderWell, by the end of the day, yeah, you know, by the end of the third day.
9:16🔗AdamHow do you get in and out of that place? I mean, as an act. I mean, how do you get to the stage and then how do you get to your hotel?
9:24🔗OleanderWell, our hotel was a 45 square foot roaming bus that got in easily on Friday and stayed stationary until we left.
9:31🔗AdamSo it wasn't like you have to take a helicopter out of like Hanoi or something.
9:35🔗OleanderNot for an almost going gold band. No, no, that's the difference. Maybe we've just defined what an almost going gold band is.
9:42🔗AdamI think we ought to hear something from Oleander because and I think we ought to hear the song of the bumper that I was talking about. What the hell? What's the name of that song?
9:54🔗AdamYes, that is. Oh, it's on the board there. Well, just, you know, I want everyone to know that I do this show without any preparation and without actually focusing or concentrating either. Drew, there's things on that screen that tell me what I should be doing. I don't even look at them, do I?
14:12🔗OleanderOf course, they're plotting for Creed in RLAD.
14:13🔗AdamPeace, but, you know, hey, it's Oleander unplugged. It's basically what that sound like there. Thomas and Doug are both here from Oleander. And I think we'll take some calls. Drew. Yep. Yep. John.
14:38🔗CallerAnd first thing I want to say, well, I want to learn how to shoot. You know how like in the porno movies, how the guys are like able to like shoot the sperm like so far, like maybe five to 10 inches or something like that. I've never been able to do that. All it does is just gurgle out. And I'm wondering if if it's like something that you're just born with.
14:57🔗AdamWhat's that? Yeah. Hey, John. Yeah. So you don't you don't get any distance.
15:05🔗CallerNo, but you know, it's just and I and I do the best I can. Like, you know, like I'll try to go for as long as I can. You know, I've been able to hold on to it for like an hour and a half.
15:41🔗AdamOK. There's certain things in life. Vertical leap, for instance, 40 times. These are all things that are worth proving. No, no. Things that can't be improved on much. Oh, no, no.
15:54🔗AdamHere's the deal. You're dealt a certain hand by the Almighty. And like I said, there's some guys have a vertical leap of 35 inches. They're 5'9, and they can dunk a basketball. And then there's guys that are 6'4, and they can't touch the rim because they have a vertical leap of 13 inches. If the guy worked out real hard for five years, he could add an inch and a quarter to that, but still nothing.
16:17🔗AdamThat's the same way with sperm production and distance. These guys are in movies because that's why they're there, because of the distance. As a matter of fact, they actually have a little calibrated chart, and that's how they figure out.
16:50🔗AdamAny band worth their weight in salt that's spent enough time in a bus on the road knows Peter North's work. What else are you going to do? I wouldn't even get off to play. I'd just stay on the bus.
17:36🔗CallerOkay. I have basically two questions. My first one is a friend of mine. I've known her for about 10 years. The past three weeks, she's been talking a lot about, like, suicide and she doesn't really want to go on. She doesn't think anyone likes her anymore. I guess her parents are fighting now.
17:53🔗DrewWell, you got to tell somebody about this because...
17:56🔗CallerYeah. And I was wondering, do you guys have, like, any phone numbers that I could have to, like, give to her so she could talk to people?
18:01🔗AdamDo you have a pad and pencil there, Natalie?
18:26🔗CallerAnd the second question was, a friend of mine, he told me that when he's limp, his penis is straight, but when it's erect, it curves towards the tip.
18:37🔗AdamMakes a hook. Yeah, it's good. And, you know, like, if you get locked out of your car, you drop that right in the crank, you know, like a coat hanger.
18:54🔗DrewAnyway, the curvature, right at the tip, is most often caused by the circumcision, actually. But curves in other areas along the shaft are just sort of one of those things.
19:05🔗AdamYeah. That's all right. And the only time you have to go and see a doctor is if there's some pain, right?
19:40🔗CallerWell, okay. I've been getting like contact with my ex-boyfriend right now. And technically I'm still a virgin. I've never had an intercourse with a man before.
20:17🔗DrewSo you're talking about cheating? I guess. I don't. Bisexuals reserve the right to consider sexual encounters with another sex. So not cheating. Just sort of practicing their bisexuality.
20:33🔗AdamYou can go to the other country and it's not like you're a traitor or anything.
20:36🔗DrewOr you're relinquishing the citizenship with the other.
20:38🔗AdamYou got two passports. Sarah, I'm tempted to gamble on Sarah. She's a virgin. It's strange. Let's hold on a second, Sarah. We haven't done any gambling in a while. Let's try this.
21:14🔗AdamYou got a dollar? Okay. We haven't gambled in a long time on the show. I got eight bucks. No, just put two out there. Just one for me and one for you. It's more of a token thing.
21:26🔗AdamAll right. Here's how the game works. It's been a while and I'm not getting anything real clear cut out of Sarah, but Sarah's 19. Sarah's technically a virgin. She wants to go back with her old boyfriend. She's bisexual. She's living with a girl and she's kind of seems kind of depressed to me. Now, here's where we gambled. What was her past like? Not her past, but how did she grow up? What were parents doing? Were they alcoholics? Is there any abuse? Maybe everything was perfect. That's not a bad bet sometimes. Parents still together, love her very much. No physical or sexual abuse. But you could also go the abuse route. So I'm going to get started just to set an example here. I'm going to go with... It's tough because sexual abuse and her being a virgin doesn't really work. But on the other hand, maybe she hates men, but she said, bisexual, this is tough. I'm going with some sexual abuse by a man. Male sexual abuse, and she doesn't like men because of that. It's turned her to women. Okay, go next.
22:37🔗DrewSomething weird in the family, like either some violence in there or somebody died or something, some source of like a flare of chaos around the age of...
23:02🔗AdamAge eight, wow, that is specific. Thomas?
23:05🔗OleanderWow, you guys get really deep with this stuff, man.
23:07🔗AdamWell, you guys are in a band, so we'll give you a little whiner. Li-Wei, yeah.
23:11🔗OleanderI'm going to say she went and saw a band play one night. One of the band guys got a little funky with one of her friends, a male guy in a band got funky with one of her friends.
23:29🔗OleanderI'm going to say she was attracted to women from the get-go. She heard the horror stories. She never went there herself. She was a little bit freaked about it.
24:27🔗AdamI'll go out to the car during the break. I'll give you guys, I'll plug the record a few extra times. It's like 50 cents a plug. I think it is. Was it? Am I up 75 now? Sarah?
26:54🔗AdamOkay. Even about answering that question. You know, we talk to people and I'll go like, when did you lose your virginity? And I'll go 16. I'll go anything before that? And they go, no, not really. And then you go, what, something before that? No. Not technically. Well, then why don't you just say no, you idiots. All right, Sarah. All right. So it's just pretty much mom is out of control, alcoholic or drug addict. You were raised by grandparents.
27:24🔗DrewI can't believe you were on the streets and nobody ever did anything weird or sexually inappropriate with you.
27:32🔗AdamSarah, why don't you just come clean with us? Come on. There's a buck out here for Drew. He's already spent it. Come on, seriously.
27:40🔗OleanderNo. Sarah, if nothing happened to you, you don't have to say anything other than that. Don't egg these guys on. They're just professionals.
27:46🔗AdamAll right. So nothing at all then, Sarah. You were just out on the street.
28:17🔗AdamSo you're out on the street, nothing happened, right? Okay. All right. Well, Sarah, then everything's fine. You got yourself a girlfriend. Don't cheat on her.
28:28🔗DrewYou got a lot of stuff to deal with that, Sarah, right? Your history, even more than what you're telling us.
28:36🔗AdamCan you just, I'll tell you what, you don't have to tell us, but would you tell us there's more here than what you're telling us?
28:43🔗DrewYes. There is. There just is. It has to be.
28:45🔗AdamAll right. Sarah, we're doing a radio show. Honey, you got to talk a little bit. I know you've been through a lot.
28:51🔗DrewYou got to deal with all this. You got to deal with it. You need some help. Even if it's just going to Al-Anon or Alateen, starting there and making some connections with people.
29:01🔗DrewIt starts with really addressing reality in reality terms. I'm sure it's just socked for you.
29:06🔗AdamYeah. And listen, I'm just pissed off because I'm trying to do a radio show here, but I feel bad for Sarah. Don't get me wrong. It's just I can't, when you're doing a radio show, it's tough to revisit the same issue over and over and get that long pause and the deep sigh and everything. All right. Let's figure out the money here. I'm going to take the $4. Wait a minute. Are we short a buck?
31:07🔗AdamI'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Oleander's our guest tonight. Thomas and Doug are both here from the band. February Sun is the name of the CD. Probably gold by now. It's going cold at the top of the show, and I'm sure it is gold by now. We will hear something else from Oleander in the next hour, but until then, we'll get back to the phones. Jimmy?
31:36🔗CallerI called in and go, well, my girlfriend was having sex with me, but I'm reluctant because she was raped when she was a little child, and I didn't think she really wanted to have sex. It was just her instinct.
32:29🔗AdamLike I'll go, that's F'd up. Are you Mother Affer? It's important that you do the same, you jackass. Using the entire F word on the radio. Please, we're not your family. Uh, alright, so how old is she? Sixteen?
33:16🔗AdamWell, Jimmy, good. You'll have a kid before you're 17, and you can drop out of school, forget about college, and just get a job at the factory and put papers on them. Yeah. Listen, screwball, and all you screwballs out there who don't believe in abortion, you better believe in condoms if you don't believe in abortion.
33:38🔗DrewOr morning after pill for Christ's sake.
34:28🔗AdamLet me tell you something. When I'm in charge, you hear politicians talk about the weed and seed program. I am not going to seed. I'm just weeding. I'm going to drag an entire rake over this country and get rid of all the jimmies of the world, put them on a big island for retarded teenagers where all they can do is have anal sex with monkeys. And there will be no teenage women on that island. And I'm sending...
34:51🔗DrewAnd guess what? That's probably what they'll do with the monkeys.
34:54🔗AdamIt's probably going to take a couple of weekends before they figure that out. But eventually they will get down to the monkeys.
35:03🔗OleanderMonkeys are themselves and you know they're going to go monkeys.
35:36🔗DrewHave you ever thought about maybe trying to get a relationship going so you have a chance to feel more comfortable and really sort of work this thing out?
35:43🔗CallerNo, I never really thought about it like that.
35:44🔗DrewWouldn't you think that would be the way to do it, Adam?
35:47🔗DrewWhat do you call this sort of, you get one relationship where you work it out, the work it out relationship?
35:51🔗AdamYeah, I can't remember what I call that. Well, let's just say I called it the work it out relationship. Every guy, and I think women, too, but I think more so for guys. You all had that one, especially if you're older, you had that one relationship you worked it all out in. You got all the positions in, you got your confidence, you sort of flexed your sexual muscles a little bit. I mean, a lot of guys had a lot of, they lost their virginity, that was a bust, that didn't work out well. Then there was that drunken thing with your friend's sister in the back, that was a disaster too. And then, you know, a series of sort of one-night-whatevers and fly-bys and everything. But then you get in that relationship and you get that chick and it's that first relationship where you're like walking around naked. You know what I'm talking about? Not just naked in bed, but you're actually doing stuff nude. You're heading down to the kitchen and stuff. You're getting it on in every room of the house. And you're getting all your positions down. You're getting your technique down. You're getting your confidence down. And all in this, like, six months or one year, or however long it goes, whether you're 16 or 21, whatever it is, you work it all out with this one chick. And from that point on, you're pretty good. You understand your weaknesses and your strengths. You get a little technique down. You've sampled all the positions. You kind of know what to expect. Steve needs one of those.
37:23🔗AdamYou got to work it out. Vagina is like a baseball mitt, Steve. You can't use a new mitt every game. You'll have a horrible day out there. You get the oil in there. You have dad park the car on it overnight. You know, you put the ball in it and then you put the belt around it. Right. And you work it in and then you use it for the whole season. And you get more confident as the season wears on.
37:44🔗I don't think it's really like a nervousness thing, you know, but it's like I can't really feel anything.
37:48🔗CallerIt's not like it's doing anything for me.
38:49🔗AdamAnd the soothing nasally drone of my voice has lulled yet another listener to sleep. All right, let's just all enjoy Brett's deep nasal drones for a second.
39:20🔗AdamI don't know, Drew. He seems about at least 15 to 20 ants away from picking up.
39:29🔗OleanderSounds like the back lounge of our bus on a long ride, man.
39:32🔗AdamThat was a short one. Wait a minute. That was good. That was what was left of the one before it. I'll tell you, I'd like to do like a pay-per-view special. We just had our listener snoring. It's great entertainment. Okay.
39:52🔗OleanderWe got to do a gamble on this one then.
40:47🔗AdamOleander's our guest tonight. We'll come back. We'll see if Brett's still asleep. But Lisa, please, don't do anything to disturb Vlad. All right. Get him some warm milk. All right. All right. We'll be back. Put him on hold. Come right. Oh, let me just. Okay. Let me just catch it. We're back here with Loveline. I'm Adam. That is Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Hey, a man shows on tonight if you're in the East Coast area, right? Does the show run on a delay?
41:59🔗AdamYeah, but it's tomorrow if you're out here. I want to get that pre-plugin. Thomas Flowers and Doug Eldridge are both here from Oleander. February Sun is the name of the CD. It's probably now coming on Platinum. Oh man. It's going on gold at the top of the show. All right. Now, should we check back in with Brad to see if he's still sleeping? I think it's a necessity.
42:20🔗DrewOr is it too soon? We were spoiling that.
42:23🔗AdamAll right. I'll tell you what. If we check back in with Brad and he's still sleeping, I just want to hear two snores and then two good ones. Two good ones. Then we'll because you're right, we don't want to we don't want to over indulge.
43:05🔗AdamUsually, it's when I go into one of my high school football stories. That's usually the point where they jump off. But tonight, I hadn't told these stories yet. I'm surprised you nodded off so quickly. Joe?
43:20🔗CallerOh, a lot, unfortunately. I work at a nightclub and I get hit on a lot. The girls flirt with me, but I've been abstaining from sex for a while and I get this really annoying boner and I can't seem to get rid of it at the nightclub and I'm getting teased about it. So.
43:43🔗CallerWell, I want you to meet a nice girl and the problem is, especially here in Southern California, there's just a lot of girls that are just screwed in the head, you know, problems with ex-boyfriends, parents' abuse, all sorts of stuff and it's just hard to find a nice girl that's not whacked.
43:59🔗AdamHave you had a bad experience with women before?
44:02🔗CallerOh, yeah. Real bad. What happened? Huh?
44:25🔗CallerWow. I'm trying to like try to wait and I don't want to end up with a son. I love to death and I don't want to end up with another son that doesn't have this. I'm not the full-time father.
44:53🔗CallerA girl starts talking about ex-boyfriends or everybody done me wrong song or what happened to them when they were kids are done, right then and there, done.
45:03🔗AdamSo can you go somewhere else to meet chicks?
45:11🔗CallerRight now, my problem is though, is I mean, I even tried whacking off a couple of times for going into work and it just doesn't seem to work. A girl flirt with me and I just, boing.
45:29🔗AdamYeah, well, that's the problem. You got to wear tight fitting zeppelin or Jordache style jeans. Zeppelin. Zeppelin.
45:36🔗CallerI'm a little out of style there, you know.
45:39🔗AdamI don't care. They keep the penis in check. You could not, you couldn't shove a popsicle stick down your waistband when you're packed tightly.
45:47🔗OleanderMan, there are singers and bands that would envy that position.
46:09🔗AdamWith a cold, a frozen ruler. Yeah, that'll get rid of it. But I understand a lot of guys at work don't have a frozen metal ruler at their disposal. No, if you get an erection, here's the thing. All right, here's my erection theory, but you guys jump in if you disagree. The penis is hanging down, right? It's in its normal states, facing the floor, right? Then it starts to get a little... I'll use my fingers as a penis indicator here. And of course mine's smaller, but it starts pushing. It starts getting a little wrecked and it starts rising up a little, but it only goes up a little bit. Now it hits the pants. Right, right. Now it has a little resistance now. So it starts pushing a little harder, sort of like... You ever go to the zoo and you see like a rhino scratching itself up against a post or something, you know, it starts leaning up against it. Friction comes into play too. It starts pushing and then of course the harder it pushes, the more the pant holds it back. And before you know it, you have a raging boner, sort of based on the resistance of the pants. Now the way you get rid of that boner, reach down, and you got to do this in a discreet way, grab the junk, pull it up so it's against your belly. Now, the penis is completely disoriented. Doesn't know where it is. It's facing your chin now. Now, when it starts pushing, it can't really push in that position because it can't push in your abdomen, and it doesn't push backside. It doesn't go down. The blood will drain right out of it into the testicles, right, Drew?
47:34🔗AdamIt is? Yes. Because if it's big, you're saying if you did that with yours, it just flopped right out of like the third button of your shirt would just pop off, and you'd be hanging out from your chest like if it was alien or something? Come on, Drew. It works. You might have to hike your pants up a little bit.
47:50🔗DrewOn the contrary, at the just raising up stage, there's a sort of a kink and it's difficult to getting the blood in at that point. Yeah, but if the pressure is high enough, downstream, stuff doesn't get in there.
48:04🔗AdamThat's so you're saying zeppelin jeans, then.
48:06🔗AdamOkay, and what I'll do when I wear the zeppelins is I'll put in two wallets, one on each ass cheek, to really add some tension to the front, in symmetrical tension. You know, you put one wallet in, it pulls a little harder on the left or the right side. You put two wallets in, it really adds a degree of pressure to the front. The chicks appreciate that. Jennifer?
48:32🔗CallerWell, I went out with these two guys and they ended up being stoners after they dumped me. And they were like totally clean when I was going out with them.
48:42🔗AdamSo you're saying you turned them into stoners?
50:16🔗AdamAll right, hold on. Andy, I'm going to put you on hold for about well, you've been on hold for 72 minutes. All right? I'm going to put you on hold for about another 15 minutes. Okay? I'm fine. Okay.
50:27🔗DrewDoes he know why? I don't think he's going to get the message.
50:30🔗AdamSo you mean it's like when your puppy takes a cramp and you start smacking on the newspaper, but the puppy doesn't know it's because of the cramp.
50:37🔗DrewIt's just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
50:38🔗AdamSo your puppy just thinks you're beating the cramp out of the newspaper for no good reason. So that's not good then, right?
51:03🔗AdamDrew, now you screwed the whole gambling thing up. He's still asleep. We know he's still asleep, please.
51:09🔗OleanderMaybe nothing was Andy's problem and he wanted you to address nothing.
51:12🔗AdamAll right. Well, you may have a interesting sort of cerebral point there. We'll check into it. We're going to take a break. Well, I'll tell you what. It'll be a coin toss. Where do we talk to Andy and ask him what's up? Or we get back to Brett.
52:03🔗I am about to be utterly and madly carried away.
52:09🔗AdamIt is Loveline. Oleander is our guest tonight. February Sun is the name of the CD. We have Thomas and Doug from the band here. And when we left off, we were listening to Brett snore. Let's see if he's still asleep.
52:59🔗AdamYou really were more valuable to us when you were asleep. We can get questions from anybody. I want you to go over to the sink and I want you to put some cold water on your face and come back and pick the phone up, all right? I'm here. Are you serious?
53:26🔗CallerUh, five-eight and a half, for sure, somewhere in there.
53:30🔗AdamAll right. You really snore like a battalion of Marines. You really do some snoring. You're not married, are you? Nope. Yeah. Wife divorced you because of the snoring?
53:42🔗CallerNo, she divorced me, but that wasn't why. No.
53:44🔗AdamShe didn't... She may not have said anything, but that had to be a factor.
53:48🔗AdamImagine sleeping next to Brett every night. Oh, my God. All right, Brett, what's your question? Where are you calling from, by the way, Brett?
55:18🔗AdamThat's what I'm talking about. Go put the cold water on your face, and I'm going to get back to you in about three minutes. Just set the phone down, all right? All right.
55:26🔗CallerHey, let's put along with Andy and see what happens.
55:28🔗AdamYeah. All right. Let's let's talk to Andy. All right. Now, no one's say anything. Let's see if I can keep going. I got a nice role with Andy. Each time I say what's up, he says nothing much. And that's that. That's right. Here we go.
56:16🔗CallerI've got like two questions for you. Real quick. Go. Okay. On like Monday's show, you said something about watching the Butch and Sundance show.
56:38🔗CallerBecause he's my ancestor and I'm just...
56:40🔗DrewThere's a famous movie from the 70s that you can't have lived in that decade and not have seen this film.
56:45🔗AdamAmanda Foreman was in here. She's on Felicity and her father produced that movie and other movies.
56:53🔗DrewIt's probably the most famous movie of that first half of that decade.
56:55🔗AdamIt's a really good 70s movie. Redford Newman. Good sort of Western. You guys drove that movie? Yeah, excellent movie. So Andy, someone says you're related to Butch.
57:09🔗AdamYeah. You know, my grandmother has rambled on for years about some ancestor of ours signing the Declaration of Independence. You know? But it's like, let's say he did. I still grew up in a dump in North Hollywood.
57:23🔗DrewWhich I saw today. I'm delighted to have seen that.
57:26🔗AdamAnd clean carpets for a living. So who gives a rat's ass whether he signed that thing or not?
57:31🔗DrewThe neighborhood was not nearly as much of a dump as I was expecting.
57:34🔗AdamNo, the neighborhood's not bad. But the barn.
57:37🔗DrewYeah, the house was interesting. It was not unappealing. It was just scary.
57:41🔗AdamWell, you didn't see it when the lawn was up to here and the roof was falling off. The house has been redone several times since. You kidding me? Drew and I were working in North Hollywood today and I was on a cell phone with Drew and he was driving home and he told me what street he was going down. And I said drive by the house I grew up in and I talked him through it. This is this street. Turn left. You'll be passing that street. So he went and you didn't have sex with my mom, did you? You didn't stop.
58:06🔗DrewIs your mom there still? Oh, yes. Well, that's her house.
59:17🔗DrewOh, Andy, getting to that is not a particular genetic issue. Interestingly, addicts get into that even before they get into their disease. It's part of the sort of thrill activation, thrill seeking that addicts can get into. So if there's alcoholism in your family, that sort of biology can fuel stealing.
59:41🔗AdamYeah, that's the guy you need to worry about more than Butch.
59:45🔗DrewSo it is dealing with an alcoholic dad plus probably having inherited that alcoholic tendency, Andy. That's the issue. It's not about inheriting behaviors that a stagecoach robber necessarily manifested 100 years ago.
1:00:38🔗AdamYou're going to be the richest, smartest one in your family. You just stay in school, you study, you go off to college, you make them all look like idiots. All right?
1:00:45🔗CallerYeah. Everyone of my friends kind of said that.
1:02:22🔗AdamI mean, really, here's your plan. Brett, I know you two are going to end up getting together because she likes you, right? Yeah. And there's not a whole long line of chicks that like you?
1:03:07🔗AdamAll right. We got to talk about this. Hold on a second. Hey, Brad? Yep. Here's your plan with this chick. You will go out with her. That's fine. Now, here's how this works. Take it slow. See if you can wait a few weeks. Then start going out with her. Be very discreet. Do not get sloppy. Do not get cocky. Then eventually this guy will find out. But if you're very discreet about it, he'll find out in three months, in six months, in eight months.
1:03:36🔗AdamWhen he finds out, you guys started going out the day before he finds out, whenever it is. Whether it's three weeks from now or three years from now. You understand? That's the angle.
1:03:47🔗DrewAll right. So do you think it is the activity of that job that creates the mindset or do certain kinds of people attract to certain kind of jobs?
1:03:56🔗AdamI have certain flares of clairvoyance that pop up every once in a while.
1:04:08🔗DrewNo, but yesterday you hit it. You hit a sheet rocker.
1:04:11🔗AdamYeah, sheet rock's a little easier to hit than siding. Siding's a little more specific.
1:04:15🔗DrewBut do you think a certain kind of person's attraction to a certain kind of job? Or does the job create the person to a certain kind of mindset?
1:04:23🔗AdamWell, here's what happens. I work construction for so many years. I understand that mentality. And I understand the distinctions between the Finnish carpenters, the framers, the sheet rockers, the signers, the foundation guys, and the tin knockers.
1:04:38🔗DrewYeah, yeah. There are certain cognitive levels that keep people stuck at certain positions or certain...
1:04:44🔗AdamWell, I knew this guy wasn't running a HMO, you know, out there in DeKalb or wherever. Where is he?
1:05:36🔗AdamHere's what this is. This is a combination of elimination. He's not a doctor. He's not an attorney. He's not a CPA. There's no white collar, anything.
1:05:48🔗AdamHe's not in college either. So there's a blue collar thing. Then he lives in Fargo. He's doing something with his hands. Well, it could have been. There's a combination between narrowing it down to about 25 jobs and then a little spike of clairvoyance.
1:06:08🔗DrewHow many citing professionals are there out there? How many need for citing is there?
1:06:12🔗AdamIn the greater Los Angeles area? Or are you talking about the country?
1:07:25🔗AdamWow, that's a pretty good run. I wish I could put together that kind of a half year. Yeah. All right.
1:07:35🔗CallerI decided that that wasn't something that, that's not the way I wanted to live my life. And so, I just, I didn't have sex with anyone. Or, you know, anytime the opportunity came up, I just wouldn't do it.
1:07:48🔗AdamIt's always great when you reach that guy at the end of the streaks, like I just got done banging half the neighborhood, except for now we're on date 15 and you ain't getting nothing.
1:08:21🔗AdamMy point is, and this isn't totally putting a light on my point, but women can do this. They want to do 18 in 6 months? They do 18 in 6 months.
1:08:31🔗AdamLet's go do it. Hell, you could have done 38 in 6 months if you felt like it. I mean, if your knees were up to it. Right? Sure. Guys go out and try to do 18 in 6 months if they end up whacking off 18 times.
1:08:45🔗OleanderI can do that in 6 minutes. I can do that in 6 minutes.
1:08:49🔗AdamFull body cast, I'd get off 18. Go ahead, there.
1:09:37🔗AdamHere's the thing that I've learned from doing this show, just like Drew's learned who does siding. People that have the eating disorder turns into a sexual thing at some point.
1:09:49🔗AdamIt's the same thing. And then the people that are sort of have the sexual disorder, they're either 18 or 6 months or they're nobody in 6 years.
1:09:59🔗AdamIt heats up and then it cools and then it just shuts right down. So you're shutting down right now.
1:10:06🔗DrewIt's part of this, it's part of this character syndrome.
1:10:09🔗AdamBut it's another part of this sort of eating disorder or the part that fueled the eating disorder in the first place. Right, right, right. So look into all that. But don't look into why am I, why this, what's wrong with this guy?
1:10:22🔗DrewShe's having pain because she is anxious and she's having vaginismus.
1:10:25🔗AdamBut it's not this guy, it's just timing. He just showed up at the end of the run.
1:10:30🔗DrewHe's having this phase of her, the expression of her condition. That's what's going on.
1:10:34🔗AdamIt's just like, I know I said it before, but it's the biggest bitch in the world for a guy because it's like you're with somebody who was having sex with everybody and now and you're not, you're probably not nuts about that, but to compound things, you ain't getting any. You'd figure, well, okay, she banged half the neighborhood, at least I'm getting the best sex of my life, but you're now getting nothing. So it's like sort of the worst of both worlds for a guy. She's got to hope he's understanding and look into treatment. There you go. All right. Why don't, why don't we play an Oleander song before we go to break? Sounds good to us. Yeah, let's get it in there. Come on Anderson, don't be such a prude, okay? Come on Anderson. Yeah, this one's called I Walk Alone. It is Loveline. Is that Godsmack?
1:16:32🔗CallerWell, there's a few, like four months ago or so I had my own apartment with my friend and we took on an extra roommate and he brought over this chick and she was like, I don't know, I didn't realize until later that she was like loopy dude, she's psycho or something.
1:17:33🔗DrewYeah, I know. Listen, it's not an accident. We know what that does to the human brain. It's not an accident. We can pick it up and we just hear, we just can talk to you and tell how long you've been smoking pot.
1:18:44🔗OleanderI know the stoner talk. I mean, you pig him.
1:18:47🔗AdamBut also, also, so here's what happened. Nick's smoking a ton of weed. Dad tells him to stop 100 times. He freaks out on him. They get in a blowout and he moves out.
1:18:57🔗OleanderMaybe Nick's smoking dad's weed and dad ain't cool with it.
1:19:18🔗AdamAll right, so Nick, you're well on your way. But why don't you be honest with us? You didn't move out because it was time to leave the nest. You had a blowout with your dad about your pod smoking.
1:19:28🔗CallerSort of both, but mostly probably the blowout thing.
1:19:40🔗DrewThat's good. But he's going to stay on the launching pad his whole life.
1:19:42🔗AdamWhy don't you just try to back off on the weed here, Nick?
1:19:46🔗DrewNo, it's not. He's trying to back out. The problem is with this level of when they do electron micrographs of brain that have been exposed to pod at this age for this long, you find this big, big layer around most brain cells in the cortex.
1:20:04🔗DrewThat's what it looks like, but honestly, it isn't.
1:20:06🔗AdamHey, don't bum Nick's high. He's trying to get a job. He doesn't need that thing. He doesn't need to be thinking about the layer of resin on his brain next time he's at a job interview.
1:20:16🔗CallerThat's what I'll do next time I'm broke. I'll just scrape my brain.
1:20:20🔗AdamJust put a coat hanger up your nose and see if you can get some resins.
1:20:27🔗AdamStop watching Discovery Channel when you're stoned and freaks you out. Hey, Nick. Yes, Nick. Here's what you need to do. You need to quit smoking weed like tonight. You need to start taking vitamins, doing push-ups and find Jesus Christ and keep your fingers crossed. By then, by the time you're 18, you'll be semi-normal. But brother, you smoke too much weed for too long, you got to stop. Your dad's an alcoholic, you're doing your thing, and this is going to be trouble.
1:21:00🔗DrewAll right. You didn't call about this, though. So what did you call about?
1:21:02🔗CallerYeah. Oh, anyways, so this chick, she was like-
1:21:05🔗DrewOh, really? Wow. Loopy chick living with you.
1:21:08🔗CallerLoopy chick. She was over at my apartment and she like, I don't know, she was totally psycho and she had a bad home life or something, but she had tried committing suicide and we were talking about it. And she asked me if I ever tried to commit suicide and I said no. And then she was like, all right, I'll be right back. And she went in the kitchen and she like cut her arm open. And I was like, dude, what's going on in there? So I went up and got in or I got up and went in there and she like, her arm was bleeding mass. She had like nine cuts in her arm. And so I took her in the bathroom and I like wrapped it up and freaking poured peroxide all over it and stuff like that. But I got like a whole bunch of blood on my hands. And I was wondering how long the virus stays alive and stuff after it like is not inside the body anymore.
1:22:12🔗DrewYeah. Tremendous blood exposure. Yeah. I mean, that is a potential if you had an open wound or something yourself. But a very unusual way to get this disease.
1:22:21🔗AdamSo you wouldn't put him on a suppressive cocktail.
1:22:24🔗DrewI might. If he'd come right away. But this is weeks and weeks ago, presumably.
1:22:29🔗AdamSo what they do is if you're like a paramedic and some junkie stabs you with a rig, they'll put you on the triple cocktail right away. I mean before you test positive, in other words. They'll just assume that you have it or that you're going to have it and they'll put you on this viral suppressing drugs, right?
1:22:57🔗AdamMaybe you wouldn't have gotten it anyway.
1:22:58🔗DrewNo. They did some studies where one group was treated and one wasn't and the conversion rate was higher in the group that wasn't.
1:23:04🔗CallerUnfortunate for the people that were not treated.
1:23:06🔗AdamImagine what a bummer it is. Paramedics who have the syringe stuck in their shin and or with the test group A, you go over here. You take a sugar pill and then.
1:23:16🔗OleanderGod bless them all though. I mean, man.
1:23:18🔗AdamMeanwhile, you fall apart. Yeah. Your arm falls off in two years. All right. Oh boy. Here's the point with our last caller there, Nick. Much bigger fish to fry than the than this potential HIV thing. This is, this is, you have a.
1:23:34🔗AdamZero point whatever percent chance of being HIV positive. You have about a 78 percent, maybe, maybe 90 percent chance of just being a complete brain dead alcoholic.
1:24:01🔗CallerWell, I've been seeing this girl for about six months now. And, you know, things have been going real good. I mean, you know, when we're together alone, everything's great. She's got a six-year-old boy from a previous boyfriend. And I can tell that this boy has a lot of his father in him. He's just really out of control. And, you know, I don't... My life is such an uproar right now that I don't know if I should take on the commitment.
1:24:34🔗AdamHow long has she been going out with her? Six months?
1:24:46🔗DrewDad, I'll tell you something about your feelings about this woman, though, right there.
1:24:49🔗AdamWell, it was pretty early. It was, you know, three, four months into the relationship.
1:24:53🔗DrewGood point. But again, his instinct was, I don't know, you know.
1:24:57🔗CallerThat's what I felt. I mean, you know, it was a little too early.
1:25:00🔗AdamHow do you know the father? You just know of him.
1:25:03🔗CallerWell, actually, I know her from high school. I know him from high school. And we ran into each other about six years later, which was about six months ago.
1:25:13🔗DrewYou know, I graduated high school when you were 20.
1:25:16🔗CallerYeah. Well, no, 19. Well, I graduated when I was 19. Yeah.
1:25:21🔗AdamCool. I will hang around long enough where you can actually drink beer during lunch.
1:25:33🔗CallerBut anyway, so, you know, my life is such an uproar right now that, you know, I'm having trouble with jobs and depression and the whole bit.
1:25:42🔗AdamRight. All right. And this kid's a real devil, huh?
1:25:47🔗CallerWell, I mean, you know, he's a good kid. I know he's got the intelligence, but he's just really out of control.
1:25:51🔗AdamI mean, you know, he says no to his mother, you know, no, and she can't discipline him.
1:25:58🔗CallerShe tries to, but he just totally ignores her.
1:26:01🔗DrewWell, he might need a sort of a neurological medical evaluation to make sure he doesn't have some ADD or minimal brain syndrome. Was she doing drugs or anything while she was pregnant?
1:26:11🔗CallerNo, no, she's a goody two shoes. And you know what? I asked her about that, if he had the ADD or whatever, and he was tested for that, he's got a problem with his eye. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but I know there's some kind of, there was something, the kids are just too high strung and they can't control it. You know what I mean?
1:26:41🔗DrewMaybe they also call them wham bam kids. They're the certain kind of kids that needs a lot of real physical experiences in the way of sort of organizing them, their emotional thought processes.
1:26:50🔗AdamDrew's got one of those. Hey Richie? Yeah? Is this guy, has this little kid been around his dad much? Is his dad part of his life?
1:26:58🔗CallerWell, you know, that's the shame about it, his father is, excuse my expression, but a prick. You know, he doesn't want anything to do with him.
1:27:09🔗AdamAll right. Hey Richie? Listen, here's the deal, follow your instincts. I mean, you've only been with her for six months, you got another good six months before you got to make a move.
1:27:21🔗AdamYou got to get your ass together. Why don't you give yourself six months, work on your career, work on your depression, work on whatever you got to work on, and just don't put any pressure on yourself. You'll continue dating, whatever it is. Give yourself until the summer. See if you can... She's ready to move on. I know she's ready to move on, and so am I. I put them on hold. I said give it six months. That's it. Just tell her. I want to get my head straight. I don't blame him. This is a tall order. I mean, my hat's off to these guys who can come into a situation with someone else's kid. The kid's out of control and he's acting out. And listen, this is one of the problems we're having in this country is dad is the disciplinarian. And when dad is never around, as is the case for, it seems like more and more of our kids in this country, the kids are out of control. They need the discipline of daddy. They absolutely do. I mean, it's a chemical thing. I swear to God, I watched this, I saw this thing on like 2020, the mom's driving the van and she's yelling at the kids to shut up while she's driving the van. And the kids are out of control. And then the dad drives the van and dad's like, shut up. The kids are, yeah. I mean, they put their cigarettes out and everything. Like they don't make a sound. They need, it's like a chemical biological thing. And if you get rid of papa, then everyone's running around like a madman.
1:28:52🔗OleanderI got to give this guy props, man. This is taking on the responsibility. It's a huge. It's a large commitment.
1:28:57🔗AdamLet's give it six months. Don't put the pressure on yourself. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we'll speak to Anthony. Went down on girlfriend, found what appears to be a penis.
1:29:12🔗AdamOh man. I'm guessing it could have been broken off like their last boyfriends. It's got lodge in there. Well, you know, like when a shark bites down on someone, it will leave a tooth.
1:29:55🔗AdamNRK. It is Loveline. Thomas and Doug are both here from Oleander. February Sun is the name of the CD. I recommend it highly. And we will speak to, oh yeah, we were going to speak to Anthony anyway. Anthony? Hello. You're 19?
1:31:04🔗DrewThe cervix looks... down the shaft of the vagina, the cervix can be anywhere from a couple inches to several inches down. And it looks like the tip of a penis, basically.
1:32:16🔗AdamAll right. All right. You listen. You've got to open a window when you deal with that toner. You understand? It's messing with your mind. All right.
1:32:27🔗AdamPrint shop. You know what I like about print? There's a couple of businesses that are open 24 hours a day that I sort of understand, like donut shop. People, they jones for some donuts. You know, you pick them up at five in the morning.
1:32:40🔗DrewThat sounds good. Right now, that sounds good.
1:32:42🔗AdamYeah, donuts always sound good. As long as there's pot, there's going to be donut shops open 24 hours a day. But the other thing that always freaks me out is the print shops open 24 hours a day. And people always tell me why, but I still don't... There's no... For me, a print shop being open at like 315 in the morning, 445 in the morning. Don't get it. It doesn't make any more sense to me than a hardware store being open at four in the morning or a bank being open at four in the morning. I don't understand the print shop 24 hours.
1:33:10🔗DrewIs the principle that you come in at the end of the workday and you gotta have these documents printed up by morning?
1:33:16🔗AdamYeah, I understand that. You drop it off by 637 in the evening and you can pick it up first thing when we open at 8 a.m. But I don't understand you wandering into the Kinkos at 430 on Tuesday.
1:33:27🔗DrewYou've never done the college thing. Hell no I haven't. That's sort of a routine thing when you're grinding out a paper or a term paper and you need to get it copied.
1:33:37🔗DrewNo, that is like essential I would think.
1:33:41🔗AdamI know, but listen, I didn't do the college thing, but I did the carpentry thing. And there were times when I was at the shop, I was like late delivering some cabinet job and I was working in the shop all night. It was 2 in the morning and I needed another sheet of plywood. I had to wait until 7 when the place opened up. You know, it was just, you know, you had to wait. I screwed it up, I didn't get the timing right, you know.
1:34:07🔗DrewAnd I'm sure there was a time when that was the way it was.
1:34:11🔗AdamAll right, it was. I'm just saying, as soon as one print shop is open 24 hours, now everyone is. So that's why I never opened a print shop. Can you imagine how tiring that'd be? That'd be a bummer. You'd never sleep, you'd just stand behind a counter. Michelle?
1:34:31🔗CallerI was just wondering why did you guys name yourselves Oleander? And why did you guys name your album February Sun?
1:34:41🔗OleanderFirst question first. Oleander was a flower that in and amongst the madness of trying to name our band and four different ideas, when we took a smoke break, one of us took a smoke break, all of us kind of looked at this bush and said, wow, amazing. And the chaos stopped. Rick the botanist, a guitarist who smokes, who was taking the smoke break, said, that's an Oleander bush. We all thought, wow, beautiful. And two days later, we thought nobody else on the planet would name their band Oleander.
1:35:47🔗OleanderLet's get on to the album. The album title itself, you know, that's the only other thing the bands argue about generally is, you know, what to call the band and then what to call the albums, right? Okay, well, we argued about that a little bit. As we were recording the album, we, I was reminded of a song that I had written earlier about my little brother who had died. He was born in February. Doug's son was born in February.
1:36:11🔗OleanderAnd the album was coming out in February. So we decided to pay tribute to the three and entitle it February Son.
1:36:19🔗DrewYou know what I like about these guys? There is a distinct reason behind what they do. Most bands, you go, what's the reason? They go, whatever it means to you. We hate that.
1:36:29🔗OleanderThat was us back in the 80s. This is us in the 90s. Unfortunately, we've been given the opportunity to do this.
1:36:36🔗OleanderWell, he like I was born allergic to everything. I just lucked out and was born to be allergic to one less thing. And he died of spinal meningitis. He had major complications of every kind you can imagine.
1:36:52🔗DrewBecause when he gave the antibiotics, he became allergic.
1:36:54🔗OleanderOh, you know, everything. And you know, like a year later, they realized how they could have saved his life. You know, and I was, you know, I was on deathbed taking three allergy shots per day for 12 years and whatnot. You know, so.
1:37:08🔗AdamWow. Yeah. How old was your brother when he passed?
1:37:10🔗OleanderWell, he was three and I was six and he was pretty much all I had. You know, the complete fractured, splintered, dysfunctional family. Yeah. Loveline show. Living Loveline show. And so we had Clinton.
1:37:45🔗CallerYou're welcome. I was wondering how did you get your start and how long did it take you to get up to the top? And do you like did it fall into your lap or did you have to like...
1:37:54🔗OleanderOh, no, no. First, let me start by saying if you're thinking of starting a band, stay in school. If you're in a band, stay in school. If you're even remotely interested in the music business, stay in school first, don't sacrifice relationships, and then like gradually take the advice of everyone else who might be lucky enough to have made it. We worked very hard, hit brick walls, and sacrificed much for a pipe dream that just so happened to come true so far.
1:38:26🔗OleanderDoug and I have been playing together for ten years. Doug I and Rick have been playing together for seven. Doug I, Rick and Fred, the complete band, about four. And we're not for the grace of God and for, you know, some very, very fortunate things to have happened. We would not be here today.
1:38:43🔗AdamAll right, good question there, Cassie. We got to take ourselves a quick time out. We'll be back with, well, by the grace of God, with more Oleander after this.
1:38:55🔗CallerLoveline, we'll be right back. Loveline, we'll be right back.
1:39:18🔗CallerLoveline was brought to you by Car Toys.
1:39:51🔗AdamWe appreciate it, and hopefully we'll see you in here soon. And until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.
1:40:00🔗CallerThis has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. And you're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkin Zingal. Now, please listen to this station longer.