Thursday, November 4, 1999

0:53🔗 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience. Loveline may contain sexually-oriented content. Losing her discretion, advised. Now, here's Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191 with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla.

1:06🔗 Voiceover What are you insane?

1:17🔗 Drew Okay, I'm not asking you, I thought in the fifth and sixth grade that you could tell us in the alternative school. What's going on there, Nicole?

1:25🔗 I just, like, I got in a lot of trouble with other kids and stuff.

1:28🔗 Drew In the sixth grade?

1:30🔗 Yeah.

1:30🔗 Drew And you're now in the alternative school?

1:33🔗 Yeah.

1:33🔗 Drew All right, can you work your way out of that alternative school?

1:37🔗 Well, you can, but you have to, like, earn enough credits and stuff.

1:41🔗 Drew Okay, well, work hard at that, would you? Because you'll get soft in that alternative school.

1:45🔗 Yeah, I'm doing pretty good.

1:47🔗 Drew Okay, good. Stay with that. We had an alternative school over at North Hollywood High. It was called Amelia Earhart. They basically carved out, like, a 40-foot square of the girls' softball diamond in the corner and fenced it off and just put all the troublemakers there. And forget about learning anymore. It's just, like, contained. Just sit there, smoke. You know, they're like smoking cigarettes and calling the teacher by their first name. You know, parking the motorcycles in the classroom.

2:13🔗 Wow.

2:14🔗 Drew But it's like, what they've done is, it's almost like a, it's like a little prison within this, the school system, which is, forget about these kids. We're writing them off. We're not going to teach them anything, but we don't want them to get in the way of the others they're trying to learn, so we'll just put them in the corner here and they can just smoke cigarettes and play Dungeons and Dragons and they'll cruise for about five years, and then we'll unleash them on a, a knowing society. Yeah.

2:39🔗 But I wonder what kind of trouble you're getting into in the fifth grade. I can't even remember that far back, but.

2:44🔗 It's not a good sign.

2:46🔗 What are you doing in the fifth grade?

2:47🔗 Drew I don't, I don't know, but like I said.

2:49🔗 Adam Maybe they're doing the crime and drugs and sex and all kinds of things.

2:52🔗 Drew Oh yeah, our listeners can't.

2:53🔗 Adam Yeah, they started early.

2:55🔗 All right, so.

2:56🔗 Adam But wouldn't you want that population educated about sexual functioning?

3:00🔗 Drew Yes.

3:00🔗 Adam Just the very one you want them to have?

3:02🔗 Drew I'd put Norplant in every one of them that came from the North.

3:04🔗 Adam And she's asking us if you can get pregnant by a small entailment.

3:07🔗 Drew Guys too. And by the way, you saying no just gave her the green light for the BJ.

3:11🔗 Adam I know. I hope you know that. No, no, no. This is a retrospective question. I guarantee it.

3:18🔗 Drew Oh, she's already done it.

3:19🔗 Adam She's worried that she's pregnant.

3:20🔗 Drew Okay. Oh boy. Christina?

3:22🔗 Hi.

3:23🔗 Drew You're 18. What's up?

3:26🔗 Caller Well, I've been in a Westin relationship for three years.

3:29🔗 Drew Three years?

3:30🔗 Caller Hello?

3:31🔗 Drew Yeah. Three years?

3:32🔗 Yeah.

3:32🔗 Drew And you only started at 15?

3:34🔗 Yeah.

3:35🔗 Adam How old is she?

3:35🔗 I think 22.

3:37🔗 Drew She got an alternative school?

3:38🔗 Caller No, I don't go to school.

3:39🔗 Adam So you got to have a new... when you were 15, she was 19.

3:42🔗 Caller Right. That's... Well, in that time frame, I know I was young and stuff, I discovered that I'm straight. And we've broken up a few times over it and gotten back together and stuff.

3:54🔗 Adam Why do you get together if you're straight?

3:57🔗 Caller Well, I didn't know it when we were getting back together. I wasn't... I was confused about my sexuality.

4:02🔗 Adam Were you sexually abused or something?

4:04🔗 Caller I wasn't sexually abused, but I was abused.

4:06🔗 Adam Physically abused? Emotionally abused?

4:07🔗 Caller Physically, emotionally, emotionally. Everything you can think of except sexually.

4:13🔗 Adam Well, but how old were you when you started having sex?

4:15🔗 Caller When I started having sex?

4:16🔗 Adam How old were you?

4:17🔗 Twelve.

4:18🔗 Adam And that was... How old a person?

4:20🔗 Caller He was sixteen.

4:22🔗 That's kind of abusive.

4:23🔗 Adam That's getting close.

4:24🔗 Drew Did you have any... Well, there's a big difference between a sixteen-year-old guy and a twelve-year-old girl. I mean, that's a huge difference.

4:31🔗 Adam Did you have any fun with your peers when you were younger?

4:33🔗 Did I have what?

4:34🔗 Caller Troubles?

4:34🔗 Adam Did you fool around with your peers when you were younger?

4:38🔗 Caller No, I started fooling around when I was like eleven. And then when I was twelve, I started having sex.

4:44🔗 I've had a lot of sexual partners.

4:46🔗 Caller Oh, boy.

4:47🔗 Drew All right. So you're not lesbian.

4:50🔗 Adam And you just you were confused.

4:52🔗 Caller Right. Exactly.

4:53🔗 Adam Right.

4:53🔗 Caller So anyway, like I've never met anybody like this girl before in my life. And I completely love her. And I want to be friends with her. And we're going to try and like actually break up for real this time and meet in three months and see how we're doing. And then three months after that.

5:09🔗 Drew Three months is five years, by the way, when you're eighteen. Three days. Yeah, really. And I don't understand what the point is. You're not lesbian. I don't trust this woman by virtue of the fact that you were fifteen and she was nineteen when she spooked you up. And the kind of condition you're in at fifteen, you probably... I don't trust your judgment.

5:33🔗 Adam You were a victim.

5:33🔗 Caller I don't trust my judgment.

5:35🔗 Adam You were a victim and she was a victimizer. What is so marvelous about this person?

5:40🔗 Caller Well, I don't know. We're both co-dependent, so I think that might be part of the problem.

5:45🔗 Adam You were both abused.

5:47🔗 Caller Well, she wasn't abused. She grew up in a family where people, they didn't really talk to each other. They didn't communicate.

5:52🔗 Adam Okay. I want you to check out her history a little bit. I bet you're going to find something more than just that there.

5:57🔗 Drew What did she do for a living, Christina?

5:59🔗 Caller She goes to school all right now.

6:01🔗 Drew All right. Junior college?

6:02🔗 Caller No, just regular college.

6:04🔗 Drew Regular college?

6:05🔗 Caller Yeah. Her parents are, you know, they're paying for her college and everything.

6:08🔗 Drew Okay.

6:08🔗 Caller You know, I come from a background where we were poor and didn't have enough food and stuff, and she comes from a completely opposite background.

6:15🔗 Adam All right.

6:16🔗 Caller Well, like, I want to be friends with her, but I don't know how to do it.

6:19🔗 Adam I think your plan is fine.

6:20🔗 Drew You're planning on time off.

6:22🔗 Adam You're going to be in here at least six months alone, but the three-month checkup is fine. Yeah. Just don't get back together in three months.

6:28🔗 Drew She won't.

6:29🔗 Adam They won't. And then in the three months.

6:30🔗 Caller That's another problem is that every time like we see each other, we break up. We just end up getting back together.

6:35🔗 Adam Yeah, but that's, that's, you have to have boundaries. She's going to come after you. When you establish a boundary, she's going to try to blow right past them.

6:42🔗 Drew Yeah. And she's a manipulator and Christine is a victim.

6:47🔗 Adam That's right.

6:47🔗 Drew So she's going to give in to her every time. And she's older and looks at her as sort of a mother figure. Oh, boy. All right. Are we ready to kill ourselves yet or should we take another call? Let's take another call. All right. I don't know. I think we should cut our losses.

7:01🔗 We'll stop right here.

7:02🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, as I always say. Let's take another one. It'll be the longest interview you've ever done.

7:07🔗 A eternity.

7:09🔗 Drew Michael.

7:09🔗 Yeah.

7:10🔗 Drew You're 27. What's up?

7:12🔗 Caller Yeah. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about two years. And we just recently started having sex about four months ago. And it was real intense for her. And now she's barely feeling it. And there's times where she doesn't feel it at all. And I still feel it. That's fine.

7:31🔗 Adam Is she on medications?

7:33🔗 Caller Just for her glaucoma, but she's been on that all her life.

7:36🔗 Adam Glaucoma drops?

7:37🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:38🔗 Adam Okay.

7:38🔗 Is she...

7:40🔗 Adam Any history of sexual abuse?

7:42🔗 Caller No.

7:43🔗 Adam You sure?

7:43🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:44🔗 Drew Okay. Well, wait a minute. You guys were together for a year and, you know, eight months. There's something before you had sex?

7:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:50🔗 Drew And you're twenty-seven?

7:51🔗 Caller Yeah.

7:52🔗 Drew How old is she?

7:52🔗 Caller Twenty-five.

7:53🔗 Drew Why were you together for so long before you had sex?

7:56🔗 Caller Oh, because she's Catholic and Hispanic and, you know, it's not right for her family to... She feels it's not right to...

8:05🔗 Drew I don't aim.

8:06🔗 Well, listen to that.

8:08🔗 Caller Her parents are real strict about it.

8:09🔗 Drew Really?

8:09🔗 Was she a virgin?

8:11🔗 Caller What's that?

8:11🔗 Was she a virgin?

8:13🔗 Caller No. But I was the only other second partner.

8:15🔗 Uh-huh.

8:16🔗 Drew Okay. You know, here's what I know from doing this show, Michael. It's sad but true. Most of the women who remain virgins for long periods of time will chalk it up to religion, family and values, but it's really just something going on. And I think you're now running into whatever was going on. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. No, it's a great notion and I wish people could do it, but people don't go till 25, 26.

8:45🔗 Caller Oh yeah, that's a little long.

8:46🔗 Caller Her first partner was when she was younger.

8:49🔗 Drew All right, but I mean, okay, people who aren't virgins don't get in relationships for a year and a half without having sex.

8:55🔗 Caller Yeah, that's why I was like, is she the first? Are you her the first or not?

8:59🔗 Adam How old was she when she had it?

9:00🔗 Caller I mean, why are we...

9:01🔗 Caller She was still in high school.

9:02🔗 Adam She was still in high school.

9:04🔗 Caller Then what happened in between? That's what I want to know because once you've had the sex, like, what are you waiting for? You're already...

9:08🔗 Drew You're already going to hell.

9:10🔗 Caller Those days are gone.

9:11🔗 Adam Let's get your kicks in.

9:13🔗 Caller Well, she never really was allowed to leave the house because she can't see very well.

9:18🔗 Drew Interesting. Wow. Okay, well, she can't see well. Maybe she doesn't know you're in it.

9:23🔗 Caller She's got her parents with her and she wasn't allowed to, you know, be out there.

9:27🔗 Drew I've had girls do that. I have to go turn the light on and let them know I was in them. I sometimes... I've refined it because the light's a little distracted. A little flashlight, like a pen light. Like, no, no, like the ones the ushers used to use at the old movie theaters. You know, the sort of red, long extension at the end. It's sort of, you know... And plus it can be used for other things.

9:47🔗 Caller Dr. Drew.

9:50🔗 Drew I'm in love with Melissa, by the way. I love that laugh.

9:53🔗 Caller A little bit of depression. A little bit of depression. Cause that?

9:57🔗 Adam Absolutely.

9:58🔗 Drew Yeah, some emotional going on, Michael. That's what I'm telling you. Yeah, and it's something you have to check into a little. It's not like, well, she just doesn't like sex anymore. She can't feel it.

10:09🔗 Adam She's cut off in more ways than just mechanically.

10:13🔗 Drew Okay. All right, so talk to her about it, and just see if you can open up some dialogue. Maybe she'll reveal something that will make more sense, some episode or something that's bothering her, and maybe she just needs to talk about it. If a woman says she can't feel anything down there, that's not a great sign.

10:32🔗 Adam Well, usually it's sexual abuse that causes that kind of disconnect. But usually it's constant. It doesn't come and go.

10:41🔗 Drew Yeah, but it is...

10:42🔗 Caller And they literally can't feel it.

10:43🔗 Adam They can't feel it.

10:44🔗 Caller Nothing, nothing.

10:45🔗 Adam They think it's like a numbness. They feel it.

10:47🔗 Caller That's not funny.

10:48🔗 Drew All right. John?

10:50🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:51🔗 Drew You're 26.

10:52🔗 Caller Yeah.

10:52🔗 Melissa De Sousa My question is for Dr. Drew. And Adam's not going to like this question.

10:57🔗 Adam Maybe he's going to answer it, too.

10:58🔗 Melissa De Sousa No, no, I can't. I want to know. I'm serious. I want to know what happens if I stop masturbation.

11:04🔗 Drew You explode.

11:05🔗 Adam So Adam has been experimenting with this within three days.

11:10🔗 Drew I, uh... I have?

11:14🔗 Adam When you're in your contest. Oh, well.

11:17🔗 Drew This is a long time ago, and I didn't really participate in this, but it was long before the Seinfeld episode that certified touched on it. But my friends decided to see who would go the longest without masturbating, and they had a t-shirt made up, and there was sort of a crown, you know, like the America's Cup, you know? One country wins it one year, and they hang on to it until somebody takes it from them. The holder of the shirt right now is the Wheeze, by the way, and he made it to like 22 days, but... He's held it for 24 years? He's held?

11:47🔗 Well, let's see, we're probably about 22.

11:48🔗 Drew Yeah, it was a good 10, 10, 12, 13 years, something like that. I never participated in a competition myself.

11:56🔗 Adam Too dangerous.

11:57🔗 Drew Yeah. I know that after day like 18, I'd probably take out a family. You know what I mean? Like, I'd get up on some water tower or something, start shooting innocent people. I know my limitations. I didn't want to do that. John?

12:12🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yeah.

12:13🔗 Drew Why do you, why are you interested in quitting?

12:16🔗 Melissa De Sousa Actually, it's for religious purposes. And I want to be solid until I'm married. All right.

12:22🔗 Caller But, that's all.

12:24🔗 Drew You're getting married this weekend?

12:26🔗 Melissa De Sousa No.

12:26🔗 Drew That's a horrible idea.

12:28🔗 Melissa De Sousa No, no, no. I've gone before. I've gone three, six and nine months.

12:32🔗 Drew Three, six and nine months?

12:34🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:34🔗 Adam Do you have nocturnal emissions?

12:37🔗 Melissa De Sousa Not, I mean, not like, you know, when I was younger, but... But that's rare.

12:42🔗 Drew You go nine months and you don't have a wet dream?

12:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

12:46🔗 Drew And what happens? Is it like a bear hibernating? Is it just shut down?

12:52🔗 Caller I don't know.

12:53🔗 Adam Yeah, you just shut down.

12:54🔗 Caller Do you have any prospects for getting married? Any woman?

12:56🔗 Melissa De Sousa Um, well, that's part of my fate.

12:59🔗 Adam What is?

13:00🔗 Melissa De Sousa I think not getting married. Well, there's things that I need to do. And when I get through that to the point where I need to do it, I think God's going to bring the woman to me.

13:08🔗 Drew All right.

13:09🔗 Adam Were you an addict one time?

13:10🔗 Drew Let me, hold on a second, let me just translate God bringing the woman in. Fast forward five years, he hasn't jacked off in four and a half years and he's feverishly thumbing through the LA Weekly, looking in the personal edge, just a single, yeah, okay, here's one, lesbian chick who likes long nails and long walks.

13:35🔗 Adam What went before this?

13:36🔗 Drew All right, what happened, what did you do? Would you just get out of prison or something?

13:39🔗 Melissa De Sousa No, no, no, I'm serious.

13:40🔗 Drew Seriously, were you an alcoholic or a heroine?

13:43🔗 Melissa De Sousa No.

13:44🔗 Drew Really?

13:45🔗 Melissa De Sousa No.

13:45🔗 Drew Who gets into religion at this stage of their life without killing somebody? You know what I'm saying?

13:51🔗 Melissa De Sousa I'm concerned if you stop, does it...

13:54🔗 Drew No, I want to know about your religion for a second. Were you always this religious?

13:58🔗 Melissa De Sousa No.

13:59🔗 Drew What happened that got you this religious?

14:02🔗 Melissa De Sousa Just a bunch of experiences.

14:04🔗 Drew Like what?

14:05🔗 Melissa De Sousa Like what? Just like going down the wrong...

14:10🔗 Drew John, come on.

14:11🔗 Adam Do not... Really? What happened?

14:14🔗 Melissa De Sousa What happened? Yeah. I just got into a bad relationship.

14:20🔗 Adam John?

14:21🔗 Melissa De Sousa Got into drugs.

14:22🔗 Drew Okay. Now we're getting warm.

14:25🔗 Adam Didn't I? Was it when we were saying drugs? I mean, that's what we figured here.

14:27🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yeah, but before I did drugs, I still had those beliefs earlier on.

14:31🔗 Adam That's fine, John.

14:32🔗 Drew Yeah, everyone has those. They just have sense enough to ignore them. Now usually either get into drugs or you go to prison. These are the ways you find Jesus. I'm convinced that Jesus is in prison. That's why everyone who gets incarcerated finds Jesus Christ. He's in the... That's why we never see the guy. He's in the lockdown.

14:51🔗 Melissa De Sousa Well, seriously, I know that as a man, your libido tapers off. If you stop when you get older, does that have an effect on your performance later on?

15:04🔗 Adam No, it doesn't matter.

15:06🔗 Drew Well, but what about in terms of just getting out of practice?

15:11🔗 Adam You know, you'll get right back in.

15:12🔗 You will?

15:13🔗 Just like riding a bike.

15:14🔗 Drew Just like riding a bike.

15:15🔗 All right.

15:16🔗 Drew This is the most foolhardy plan I've ever heard in my life. I love it when people... You know, here's my favorite part of life. It really is. People have a sort of... In this country especially, and probably in lots of parts of the world, a sort of retarded, half-baked, convenient approach to religion, you know? And then it's always sort of around. They do that thing where they go, well, sure, I'm nailing these chicks, and I got a couple kids out of wedlock, but yeah, I'm Jesus Christ as my savior. You know, but I'm not really that into him, but I'm still kind of into doing coke and getting laid, too. But yeah, I believe in Jesus Christ. That's like the one sort of retarded aspect of it. The other one is people wait until they F up royally, usually kill somebody, maybe vehicular manslaughter, something like that, or they do some time in prison, or they just freak out on crack or crank or whatever the hell they freak out on. Then they sober up, then they get bored, then they find religion, then they start trying to sort of figure out a direction via the religion. I'm going to stop jacking off, and I'm going to wait for God to deliver abroad so I can get laid without the jacking off. And it's just another big fat retarded distraction. This is not religion, this is not what God has in mind, and please don't get mired in these retarded details. And your own sort of half-baked interpretation is not the one that's correct.

16:39🔗 Adam But these things can work for people.

16:41🔗 Drew Good! If it keeps a guy away from heroin for another week, fine.

16:45🔗 Adam Yes.

16:46🔗 Drew But don't kid yourself.

16:47🔗 Caller I'm guilty of that too. I mean, I start praying at the, you know, I have a bad day, you know, I need something, you know. You know, we do it.

16:55🔗 Drew It's convenient. I have written it off completely, but that's just me. We'll take ourselves a little break and we'll be back after this. Right now. We just found out during the break that Drew was on Wheel of Fortune in 1944 or 45. What was that, Drew? 1980?

17:14🔗 Adam 1984. 1984, really?

17:16🔗 Drew Wheel of Fortune?

17:17🔗 Adam Yeah.

17:18🔗 Drew Drew got creamed by a woman with a GED from Kansas, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's not fair, though, on those game shows because really the key to those game shows is sitting home watching them day in and day out. You know, we are seeing Husky Housewives from Missouri have a step up on guys who are actually living their life. You know what I mean? It's like some card game that you haven't played too much of as opposed to when you're sitting next to someone who's been doing it for a few years.

17:50🔗 Adam So much can go against you other than the skill of the game.

17:53🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah. It's really luck with the wheel.

17:56🔗 Drew It's not your fault.

17:56🔗 Caller No, no, no.

17:57🔗 Adam I'm sorry about it.

17:58🔗 Drew Hey, look where you are today. I'm sure she's either dead or in jail, this bitch who took your car. And what would they give it away, like a Chrysler K car?

18:07🔗 Adam I can't remember. No. Make it like Firebird.

18:10🔗 Drew Something you would have looked cool in.

18:13🔗 All right.

18:13🔗 Drew So you won nothing.

18:15🔗 Adam Sunny Delight, Floor Wax.

18:17🔗 Drew Did you really win Sunny Delight?

18:18🔗 Oh, yes.

18:19🔗 Adam And they demand you take delivery.

18:22🔗 Drew I got to tell you, I would have sent the Sunny Delight to... I'm trying to think. Some ex-girlfriend I hated or something.

18:30🔗 Adam I can't remember how I got rid of it.

18:31🔗 Drew Your supply of Sunny Delight is worse than nothing.

18:35🔗 Adam And you had to pay taxes on it.

18:37🔗 Melissa De Sousa Oh, yes.

18:38🔗 Drew They tell you what it's worth and you must pay taxes. Sunny Delight is just some of the worst things that I've created. And floor wax? What the hell does a bachelor do with floor wax? Well, you could masturbate with it. Seriously, I don't even know what you do with floor wax. You didn't even have a floor, did you? You had walls and a ceiling, right?

19:00🔗 Melissa De Sousa No floor?

19:02🔗 Drew You open the front door, you fall right down in the basement. Oh, man. I tried out. You just keep going. You hit the hell out of there. I tried out for the dating game when I was... You know how the dating game works is people sign, and maybe this is true with other game shows too, but this is the dating game. Now mind you, we're talking about 13 years ago or maybe 12 years ago, but other people sign you up. When you go down there to do it, they hand you a sheet and it says, give us the names of some other young people you think would be good for this. And lo and behold, you just get a phone call and they say, come on down. I wasn't doing anything. I thought I could make a few bucks. I went down there and you played a little mock dating game in the producer's office and it's you and like 10 other guys. And there's like two checks and we did the little mock dating game. And then when it was done, I'll never forget this, the producer said, all right, gentlemen, all of you are fantastic. I have all your paperwork in front of me and I'll be notifying you all in just the next couple of days and we'll be giving you dates to come down here and film. So thank you very much. We'll be talking to all of you soon. There's a, there's just a couple of questions I have for a few people here. Let's see, Gerald McNeely, I don't have your address filled out here correctly on your application, Adam Carolla, you didn't, you got your phone number, just hang back, there's one other guy. And everyone got up and left except for the guys who screwed up on their applications. But as the other guys got up and left, I said, hey, that's just the ploy, you guys didn't make it. I was kidding. Then the door shut and the producer started yelling at me, oh, hey, hey. The guy got pissed, he was like, hey, a-hole, I kicked those guys out of there because you guys made it. Yeah, it was total BS with the application, I was just mouthing off. And this guy was seriously pissed at me.

20:56🔗 Adam Did you go on the show then?

20:57🔗 Drew Well, I went home and I told my girlfriend at the time, hey, guess what? And she said, hey, guess what? And I said, aww. And she said, aww. I said, come on, with the chaperone. No f-ing way. So I never went back. That was it. But look, I wouldn't want anything anyway. And look at Drew, he had to drink 400 gallons of Sunny Delight. And wouldn't chase it down with some floor wax. What a horrible, horrible prize. I couldn't think of anything even worse.

21:28🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yeah, I really couldn't.

21:30🔗 Drew Sarah?

21:31🔗 Yeah?

21:32🔗 Drew You're 18. What's up?

21:34🔗 Caller Nothing. About a week ago, me and my boyfriend were at a party. Okay, I would call it a party. I was like, get together, because it was like 10 of us. Well, it was like later on that night, I was going to the bathroom. And he like knocked on the door and he said, Sarah, can I come in? And I said, well, hold on. I'm going to the bathroom. And after I'm done, I open the door and he kind of pushes me back into the bathroom. And I'm like, well, what do you want? I need to ask you a question. And he's like, don't get mad, OK? And I was like, OK. And I'll be asking you anything. And he's like, well, I just promise me you won't get mad. And I was like, OK.

22:07🔗 Adam I think two sort of landmarks have been passed, milestones were passed. One of them pushes you back in the bathroom. I understand. Step one, that's when you call the police.

22:17🔗 Drew No, it's your boyfriend.

22:18🔗 Adam Come on. It's not a boyfriend.

22:20🔗 Drew I thought it was a boyfriend.

22:21🔗 Caller Yeah, yeah.

22:22🔗 Adam I was getting excited.

22:23🔗 Drew I know. Yeah, me too. Don't ever jump in when Melissa's getting excited.

22:28🔗 Caller No, it's my boyfriend. And well, he asked me, what do you think we could use to make our specs more spicy? And I was like, well, it's not good enough. And he's like, well, yeah, good. But I just wanted to know. He asked me if he could have somebody watch us while we had sex. Yeah.

22:49🔗 Drew Who's that?

22:49🔗 Caller My friend. He asked me, first of all, he asked me how...

22:53🔗 Drew Your female?

22:54🔗 Your female friend?

22:55🔗 Caller Yeah. He asked how good of friends we were. He's like, you're really good friends, right? And I was like, yeah.

22:59🔗 Adam Oh, you know what he's building up to here. This is a new tack. I've heard this one before.

23:03🔗 Drew Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Then he starts slowly incorporating her. It's like, what's your friend's name? Courtney. Here's how it works. Hey, Courtney, can you hand me the towel? Would you be a sweetheart? Thank you. Thank you. Just block the forehead. Thank you. Thank you.

23:18🔗 Caller Really, really working up the sweat. Come here.

23:21🔗 Drew Just, oh, oh, my shoulder. I think I kind of, well, you know, you're getting this push-up position for too long. I pinch a nerve. There you go. There you go. Rub it, right? That's good.

23:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

23:32🔗 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

23:33🔗 Drew That's the plan. Right?

23:35🔗 Caller Oh, yeah.

23:36🔗 Drew Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Sarah? Yeah. Who is that? Who is that? Is that Anderson?

23:43🔗 Adam Anderson.

23:44🔗 Drew Anderson, those drops are so nonsensical sometimes, or undecipherable.

23:49🔗 Caller I thought it was a boy, but I was like, oh, God.

23:50🔗 Drew That's what I thought it was, too. Who is that saying, oh, yeah? Just a guy? All right, you can't do that. It's got to be either, you know, it's got to either be one of the Simpsons or nobody, because I had no idea who that was. Sarah?

24:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

24:04🔗 Drew Okay, so what happened?

24:07🔗 Caller Well, he asked me, and my wife said no, and he said, well, kind of just think about it, okay? And I was like, I was just wondering why he would ask that. It just seems kind of weird to me.

24:15🔗 Drew Does he like Courtney?

24:17🔗 Caller Well, no, I don't think so.

24:21🔗 Caller Is she cute?

24:22🔗 Caller Huh?

24:22🔗 Caller Is she cute?

24:23🔗 Caller Well, no. Well, I'm not going to say she's cute or not, because I'm not that way, but no.

24:29🔗 Caller No, you don't have to be that way. I mean, you're a girl. I'd say my girlfriend was cute or not. No.

24:36🔗 Adam You're just learning about males and their sexuality, particularly young males.

24:41🔗 Caller I was just wondering why.

24:42🔗 Adam I mean, because it's there. That's why.

24:46🔗 Caller But she's totally opposite for me.

24:50🔗 Drew Listen, he's trying to wiggle his way into some sort of threesome.

24:56🔗 Adam How do you help this young lady understand how to put together?

25:00🔗 Drew Here's the deal. If you try to judge his behavior based on your sensibilities, it won't make any sense.

25:07🔗 Adam It won't make sense, right.

25:08🔗 Drew There you go.

25:09🔗 Adam He's not operating with the same set of neurons and principles that you are.

25:13🔗 Drew Well, it's like certain cultures that are very different than you. It's like we worship the cow and we eat the dog. Try to make sense of it. It doesn't make sense. Just don't move there.

25:24🔗 Adam You can make more sense of that than this.

25:26🔗 Drew Yeah, you can, but I'm just saying you're not going to go over there and correct everybody. Just don't vacation there and you'll be fine.

25:33🔗 Adam Right?

25:34🔗 Drew All right. That was a fine analogy. Ashley.

25:38🔗 Adam Hello.

25:38🔗 Drew You're 18. What's up?

25:39🔗 Caller Yeah. I have a question. I've been with my boyfriend for a lot of year and a half now. He likes to have anal sex and I have no problem with that. I've been doing it, but two days ago I went to a club and I met this guy. I went out with all my friends and I had anal sex with him. Ever since I did now and I'm bleeding.

26:02🔗 I don't know if I'm structure or something.

26:05🔗 Caller It's really painful and I'm scared to go to the doctor.

26:08🔗 I hate the doctor.

26:09🔗 Drew Melissa's ass hurts now because of this story.

26:11🔗 Adam You have to go to the doctor.

26:16🔗 Caller I'm scared to go to the doctor.

26:17🔗 Adam You must go.

26:19🔗 Caller What do you think could be wrong with me?

26:20🔗 Adam A lot of things could be wrong, but the bleeding can become uncontrolled and can be very dangerous.

26:25🔗 Drew You went out. You met a guy at the club.

26:28🔗 Caller Yeah, well, he's my boyfriend. That's why I don't...

26:33🔗 Drew Well, this isn't exactly cheating. This is a little playful anal sex with a stranger you met at the club.

26:40🔗 Adam Did he wear condom?

26:42🔗 Caller Yeah.

26:43🔗 Adam He wore condom, sure.

26:44🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm positive.

26:45🔗 Adam Then it didn't break.

26:46🔗 Caller No, no, no.

26:48🔗 Drew Who brought up the anal sex when you met this guy at the club? By the way, hold on a second. I've gone to clubs with some expectations before, but never this high. I've never announced this on my body. I'm going to do some cornhole in the night, boys. I mean, if I got a phone number with five of the right digits, it was a big night, a huge night. Maybe a little making out in the parking lot or something leaned up against the car. Maybe, but anal sex was like, I wasn't even done on me to think about that. What the hell kind of club is this? Ashley? Ashley?

27:27🔗 Caller Yeah. All right.

27:28🔗 Drew So whatever you say. I want to know what happened. You met a guy at the club.

27:32🔗 Caller I met a guy at the club.

27:33🔗 Drew You thought he was cute.

27:34🔗 Caller Well, the whole night, he was the first guy that I met and I was dancing with him the whole night.

27:38🔗 Drew Really working up a sweat down there.

27:41🔗 Caller Well, he asked me to go back to his place. So I went back there and we had normal sex. And then we just after that had the other kind of sex.

27:49🔗 Drew Who brought that up? I mean, he must have known something.

27:52🔗 Caller No, he didn't know anything. He just tried to and I didn't stop him. But I don't know if it was because he was larger than my boyfriend is. I'm just going to go to the doctor because I want my boyfriend to be like, why are you going to the doctor?

28:02🔗 Caller What's wrong?

28:03🔗 Adam Whatever happens at the doctor's is completely confidential and not in any way accessible to your boyfriend.

28:10🔗 Drew Does your boyfriend have to know you're going to the doctor?

28:12🔗 Caller No, but still...

28:14🔗 Drew Stop right there, idiot. No, but still. You're scared your boyfriend is going to want to know why you went to the doctor.

28:21🔗 Caller Well, that and I'm afraid he gets off work all the while and I haven't had sex with him. I'm afraid he has sex with me.

28:26🔗 Caller Well, when was the last time you had sex with him? Your boyfriend? Three or four years ago.

28:29🔗 Caller I don't see him.

28:30🔗 Caller Oh, well, did you have anal sex?

28:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

28:32🔗 Caller Look, I'm having this go live. I mean, well, then you can go to the doctor and just say that if you feel like he's going to find out if he does find out, just say, you know, you're checking up because the last time you did it, you've been in pain and you're bleeding.

28:43🔗 Caller It's that, and then it's because he's going to get off work tonight and he's supposed to come over tonight and I'm afraid that he's going to want to have sex now. What am I supposed to say?

28:50🔗 Drew No.

28:50🔗 Caller Hello.

28:51🔗 Drew Tell him you've got diarrhea. I was going to say you're on your period, and then I thought, well, that's not going to do.

29:00🔗 Caller Oh my God.

29:01🔗 Drew I was thinking of the sort of rectal equivalent to being on your period. Hey Ashley, listen screwball. First off, you deserve everything you get. I don't know why we're trying to help you, but don't be stupid. Call your boyfriend right now at work and tell him, listen, I ate something bad, I'm vomiting, I have like 102 temperature, I'm going to sleep right now. The next day, wake up, tell him you feel like hell, and you're going to go in and see the doctor. Okay?

29:30🔗 Caller Done.

29:31🔗 Adam What's the doctor going to do?

29:32🔗 Drew Just shut up and go to the doctor.

29:34🔗 Adam They're going to go in there and see what's bleeding, and they may have to repair something. We'll see.

29:38🔗 Drew Okay. Do you understand the sick story?

29:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

29:41🔗 Drew Okay. And don't be stupid. Maybe there's a party that wants him to find out.

29:46🔗 Caller I don't know.

29:48🔗 Drew There's a party that wants your boyfriend to find out.

29:50🔗 Adam Ashley, this is one of our tour of duties from Vietnam at 18.

29:54🔗 Drew Hey, Ashley, honey, what are you doing to yourself? Do you want your boyfriend to find out?

29:59🔗 Caller No, of course not.

30:00🔗 Drew Okay. Well, then don't be stupid. Just do the sick thing and go to the doctor, would you?

30:04🔗 Adam She's already done the sick thing. All right.

30:06🔗 Drew I don't care.

30:08🔗 Caller All right.

30:09🔗 Drew All right. And listen, would you take care of yourself?

30:11🔗 Yeah.

30:12🔗 Drew What's up with you?

30:13🔗 I don't know.

30:14🔗 Drew But stop acting out, would you?

30:16🔗 Can't help it.

30:17🔗 Caller No, you can't.

30:17🔗 Drew Stop it.

30:18🔗 Caller Yes, you can.

30:18🔗 Caller Stop it.

30:19🔗 Drew And for Christ's sake, don't get pregnant. As a matter of fact, nothing but anal sex from now on, you understand?

30:25🔗 Caller Uh-huh.

30:25🔗 Caller You already have kids?

30:27🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:27🔗 Caller Yes.

30:28🔗 Drew You have kids? You don't have two, do you?

30:31🔗 Caller No.

30:32🔗 Drew One?

30:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

30:33🔗 Drew Okay, come on, honey, that's enough. Take care of them.

30:36🔗 Adam Start behaving like the mother.

30:38🔗 Caller Would you, Mommy?

30:40🔗 Caller Okay.

30:40🔗 Caller Okay, Mom?

30:41🔗 Drew I'm going to make you guilt you into Mommy. Mommy, stop it, all right?

30:45🔗 Caller All right.

30:45🔗 Drew Take care of your kids. I know someone did something bad to you.

30:49🔗 Adam For a long time.

30:49🔗 Drew That doesn't mean you need to do something bad to your kid.

30:52🔗 Adam You understand me? No, half the bad things continue to be done to you.

30:54🔗 Drew Jesus Christ. Why can't people put that together? It's going to be the undoing of this country. That's going to be great with the boyfriend, too. Oh, God. Hey, listen. Wait a minute. Okay, I had anal sex with this stranger at the club, but here's the problem. Just hear me out. He was huge, much bigger than you, and I think he may have torn something. Oh, my God. All right. With kids, everybody, you want to know why I'm moving to Canada? That is why. Me and Melissa, right?

31:21🔗 Caller Yeah. Wow. That hurts. That hurts.

31:24🔗 Drew All right. We'll take a little break. I'm going to shower, vomit, and kill myself. And we'll be back after this.

31:31🔗 Caller You have five seconds.

31:32🔗 Drew Loveline, with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew, back in a minute.

31:47🔗 Adam Hey, this is Dr. Drew.

31:48🔗 Drew And I'm Adam Corolla. Welcome back to Loveline on America's Rock Station of the Year, 98 KUTD. It is Loveline. I guess tonight is Melissa De Sousa from The Best Man. I think Melissa is slowly falling in love with me.

32:15🔗 Caller I am.

32:17🔗 Caller Both of you guys are so cute.

32:18🔗 Melissa De Sousa Melissa. Wow.

32:20🔗 Adam He just says it because he's laughing at his jokes.

32:21🔗 Caller No.

32:22🔗 Caller You're both cute. You know, your intelligence and your funny.

32:25🔗 Melissa De Sousa Wow.

32:26🔗 Drew You hear that?

32:27🔗 Caller So cute.

32:27🔗 Drew Which one of us do you like more?

32:29🔗 Caller Here he goes.

32:29🔗 Caller Oh, I...

32:30🔗 Caller Come on.

32:30🔗 Adam Just say it. Just say it.

32:32🔗 Caller No, both of you are the same.

32:34🔗 Caller Same?

32:36🔗 Drew Now I don't trust that.

32:38🔗 Adam You trust that, Drew?

32:40🔗 Melissa De Sousa Really?

32:40🔗 Drew The same? Don't be diplomatic.

32:41🔗 Melissa De Sousa Come on.

32:43🔗 Drew You're gonna make me a little more. I understand. Okay. I'll just... That's fine. The Best Man is in wide release, number one in the theaters a couple weeks ago and number two last week and... Right back up to number one this week. Now, where the hell were we here, Drew? Also, by the way, next week, Donny Osmond will be in here, Dave Navarro will be in here, Our Lady Peace will be in here, and a guy I just saw on TV about an hour and a half ago, Bruno Campos will be here from Jesse.

33:12🔗 Adam And can you say something disparaging?

33:13🔗 Drew This good-looking guy was up there.

33:14🔗 Adam Some of our other crazy friends, so they could show up tonight even?

33:18🔗 Drew Yeah, that was a weird story. For those of you who missed last night's show, I was talking about David Arquette, and I had not planned on talking about Dave Arquette, although we don't plan on talking about anything when we come in here. It's just things happen to come out. I was saying what a crazy guy David Arquette is, I mean how he's sort of insane. I think I said he was nice. I think I said he was talented.

33:43🔗 Adam I was defending him, and we agreed that we really like him. He's a great guy.

33:46🔗 Drew But I said he was nuts.

33:48🔗 Adam He was nuts. You were talking about him in relation to John Malkovich. What you were asking is John Malkovich may agree that he was nuts too.

33:53🔗 Drew Right. I was curious how nutty people, you know, most guys can't hold down jobs, much less show up at the set, memorize the lines, hit the mark, play different parts, small town sheriff, you know, that kind of thing.

34:06🔗 Adam And it went so far as saying, I can say whatever. They sort of, they said, ooh, Adam, calm down. I can say whatever I want.

34:11🔗 Drew He's so crazy.

34:12🔗 Melissa De Sousa Couldn't even find his way here.

34:13🔗 Drew To the studio. Well, and we were sitting here, just like we're sitting here. He walked in the door about five minutes later, right in the studio.

34:21🔗 Melissa De Sousa Are you kidding me?

34:22🔗 Drew He just kicked open the door and is standing right there.

34:25🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yeah.

34:25🔗 Caller He wasn't supposed to come?

34:26🔗 Melissa De Sousa No.

34:27🔗 Drew No way. He drove up the freeway. Just a random person I was talking about.

34:33🔗 Melissa De Sousa Can you believe that?

34:34🔗 Drew No, I can't.

34:34🔗 Adam But yelling at you, standing in the doorway with a screen on.

34:36🔗 Caller He was yelling at a Jerusalemite.

34:37🔗 Drew He just opened the door and walked right in. It's like he was hiding in the closet.

34:41🔗 Adam It was weird. It was bizarre. I'm not sure it was five minutes. It was like, fast forward three minutes. He barely got off the conversation.

34:49🔗 Drew Yeah, when I say four or five minutes, I mean four or five minutes. I don't have to say 20 minutes. He started talking about him toward the top of the show. And long before we had to go to our first commercial, he came barging in here. So it was a little five minute window there. And it was surreal. I mean, I was dumbfounded. I really was. I'm frightened. Thank God. He's a really, really nice guy. And he's a really gentle guy. And he, thank God, he's got a good set of humor. Well, I didn't say anything too bad about him. Come on, he says he's an artist. I mean, an artiste. Thomas?

35:27🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yeah.

35:27🔗 Drew You're 19.

35:29🔗 Caller Yeah. I really love The Man Show.

35:33🔗 Melissa De Sousa Good.

35:36🔗 Caller I got a question for you. I went out with her in school for about six months, and then she woke up with me, and now about five months later, I want to figure out how to go about asking her about her best friend.

35:50🔗 Melissa De Sousa Oh, who?

35:52🔗 Drew It's been five months since she broke up with you.

35:54🔗 Caller Yeah.

35:54🔗 Adam Do you think it's fair game?

35:55🔗 Drew Yeah.

35:56🔗 Caller Five months, sure.

35:57🔗 Drew And she broke up.

35:58🔗 Caller Well, in high school, these guys would go out with my best friend the next day.

36:02🔗 Drew Yeah.

36:02🔗 Adam That's not good.

36:03🔗 Caller So you're doing pretty good.

36:04🔗 Adam But let's be serious, though.

36:06🔗 Drew Why did you wait five months? Is it one question I have?

36:09🔗 Caller Well, because I graduated and finally I came back to the...

36:14🔗 Adam He was in a coma.

36:17🔗 Drew He was in prison.

36:18🔗 Caller I graduated and I went back to visit some of the people in my old class. And her friend was there and she was pretty much just like hanging around me, just talking to me like the whole time in class. Okay. All right.

36:30🔗 Drew So you think she likes you.

36:32🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:32🔗 Adam Is she still in high school?

36:34🔗 Caller No.

36:34🔗 Drew And you think she likes you and her friend dumped you wasn't as if you broke her friend's heart?

36:42🔗 Caller No.

36:42🔗 Drew All right.

36:43🔗 Adam Fine.

36:43🔗 Drew Fine.

36:44🔗 Caller Oh yeah, she broke up with you?

36:45🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:45🔗 Caller Oh yeah, you're pretty much in the clear.

36:47🔗 Caller Yeah.

36:47🔗 Adam Yeah.

36:48🔗 Drew Yeah, that's fine.

36:49🔗 Caller Okay. Go ahead. I just don't want them to get like pissed off at each other.

36:53🔗 Adam That's their business then.

36:54🔗 Drew That really is, that is kind of between them. And like I said, it's a big difference between you dumping her and breaking her heart.

37:00🔗 Caller Exactly.

37:00🔗 Drew And she breaking over you.

37:02🔗 Caller That's what happened to me.

37:03🔗 Drew What happened to you?

37:04🔗 Caller Well, this guy in high school that was totally in love with, he broke up with me and the next day he was back with this other guy. Adam, Adam, again. Next day at the bus stop.

37:12🔗 Drew Friend of yours, really?

37:13🔗 Caller No, it wasn't a friend of mine, but it's just all the same hurt.

37:15🔗 Adam Where did you grow up?

37:17🔗 Caller In Queens, New York.

37:18🔗 Drew What was his name?

37:20🔗 I won't say his name.

37:21🔗 Drew Come on, he's probably better in jail by now.

37:23🔗 Caller His name was Lou.

37:25🔗 Drew Lou.

37:25🔗 Caller Luis.

37:26🔗 Drew Not so sweet Lou.

37:27🔗 Caller No.

37:28🔗 Drew Yeah. Well, you're big time now.

37:32🔗 Caller Who's crying his eyes out?

37:33🔗 Caller Yeah, no, I don't think so.

37:34🔗 Drew Well, let me see. How old are you?

37:36🔗 Caller I can't tell you.

37:37🔗 Drew Well, you're young. You can say it.

37:39🔗 Caller Yeah, I'm young.

37:39🔗 Caller Twenty-something.

37:40🔗 Drew Twenty-something?

37:41🔗 Caller Yeah.

37:41🔗 Drew You look early twenties.

37:43🔗 Caller Oh, thanks.

37:43🔗 Drew So Lou's probably what? Slinging hash in some diner in Queens somewhere?

37:49🔗 Caller I don't know. I think it was in Miami, I heard.

37:51🔗 Drew Miami. Yeah.

37:53🔗 Adam Except for your drug dealer.

37:55🔗 Caller Absolutely. Absolutely.

37:57🔗 Drew The only drug dealer in Miami is not getting laid.

37:59🔗 Adam That's Lou.

38:00🔗 Drew Yeah, he's probably fat.

38:00🔗 Caller And look at you. Look at you now.

38:02🔗 Drew Linda?

38:03🔗 Caller Hi.

38:04🔗 Caller You're twenty.

38:04🔗 Caller Yeah.

38:05🔗 Adam What's up?

38:06🔗 Caller I've been in relationships about five years with the same guy.

38:09🔗 Caller And he's the one person I've ever slept with. And I had about two weeks ago, I had a pap smear, my heavy pap smear. And on Monday I got a letter saying they have chlamydia.

38:18🔗 Adam Interesting.

38:19🔗 Caller And I obviously got it from him.

38:21🔗 Caller And on Tuesday I went and got treatment for it. And I want to know, you know, I could have had this for two months, I could have had this for almost a year. And I want to know like what kind of effects I'm going to have, and how long is it going to take for the treatment to work.

38:33🔗 Adam Well, did they give you, what did they give you, tetracycline or azithromax?

38:38🔗 Caller I don't know, they gave me something to drink. Yeah. I just drank it.

38:40🔗 Adam Yeah, it's one gram of azithromax. And that's fairly effective at eradicating this.

38:45🔗 Drew It's petracycline in a pill form.

38:47🔗 Adam Petracycline can take a couple of weeks. Azithromax just takes one dose and that's it. It's a liquid, it's almost a power, like a coolant.

38:52🔗 Caller Yeah, it's a power that you can drink with water.

38:54🔗 Drew Yeah, it's the stuff they took at Johnstown, right?

38:55🔗 Adam That's right.

38:56🔗 Drew So why would they give everyone this?

38:59🔗 Adam They do.

39:00🔗 Drew They would have choices.

39:00🔗 Adam I mean, you can do it in the middle of the...

39:01🔗 Drew I know, but why take the petracycline for three weeks?

39:04🔗 Adam Oh, if you're worried about other STDs in addition to chlamydia and sometimes people, I've seen doctors do this when they're concerned that there's been a more indolent, low-grade infection that will get people along. Of course, that's an old-fashioned way of doing it, frankly. But the fact is, the main issue here is it can damage the tubes and affect your fertility. And it's something you could have for a long time.

39:22🔗 Drew All right, so...

39:23🔗 Adam He needs to be tested, he needs to be treated also.

39:25🔗 Drew Okay, but she took the stuff.

39:27🔗 Adam Yeah.

39:27🔗 Drew All right, we're gonna go to break. I just want to say one thing to one guy. John?

39:32🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yes.

39:32🔗 Drew John, you're 20, you're dating a 15-year-old girl?

39:34🔗 Melissa De Sousa Yes.

39:35🔗 Drew All right, hang on. Pray you don't get hit by lightning during the commercial break. All right?

39:40🔗 Melissa De Sousa Well, hold on.

39:41🔗 Drew We're gonna take a little break, and when we come back, we'll speak to this pig named John who's dating a 15-year-old at the age of 20 after this.

39:50🔗 Caller Loveline, Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

39:52🔗 Melissa De Sousa The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. We'll be right back.

40:06🔗 This has been Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio station. And are probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Engel. Now, please listen to this station longer.

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