3:12🔗
It's Loveline.
3:14🔗
Voiceover
Phone number for Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, fax number 310-854-4455. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew would be the one who is the board certified physician and the addiction medicine specialist.
3:28🔗
Somebody spanked me.
3:30🔗
Adam
Shaun Palmer, who is the snowboarder extraordinaire, is our guest tonight. He'll be in here in just a few minutes. He's doing a photo shoot. USA called him the Athlete of the Year. And so did Details Magazine because the guy dominates the snowboarding stuff. Lord knows I don't know anything about snowboarding, but I know they have like a downhill race and a half pipe race and a snower cross or border cross or something like that. He wins everything and then he wins motorcycle racing and then he wins in the mountain biking.
4:20🔗
Adam
He dominates that. Yes, Shaun Palmer does that in the snowboarding and also in the mountain biking. Well, he'll come in here and tell us all about it. Anyway, Drew and I really pretty much had a date tonight. We met over at my place about 4.30 in the afternoon. I watched him change and clean up.
4:44🔗
Adam
We went over to USC. We did a little lecture tonight. Then it was back to my house for a little impromptu spaghetti meal.
5:00🔗
Adam
Drew thought he was going to, I said spaghetti. That's how he knows. Drew thought he was going to have some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But oh no. Big A whipped out the cutting board.
5:12🔗
Adam
Got out my big stove. Actually, I'd left that out. I don't unpack the stove each time I use it. Got some nice bell pepper, some mushroom, some asparagus, fresh grated parmesan.
5:26🔗
Adam
It's great. Then he proceeded to eat what was on his plate and then finished my plate off. Let me tell you something about Drew. Drew can put it away. He can put it away in a huge way and he eats fast too. He eats like a dog that you've had locked up in the yard for too long and he let him in. He had his nose in there before I was done straining the spaghetti. He went nuts with the cheese by the way. Actually, he started putting the cheese on and said, We're going to need more cheese. Like I was going to go on some sort of a cheese run. By the way, the reason he lapped it up is that we didn't start eating till 9 o'clock over at my house.
6:10🔗
Adam
Oh yeah, 9.10, 9.15 and I'm a half hour away. So Drew really got down. I think he may get a little gassy.
6:22🔗
Adam
It's very romantic. Then he walked me to the door and he put his thumb in my ass. Oh, Mike, you're... Mike had a cup of coffee tonight, everyone. So look out. It's funny. There's, there's, you know, he shows up every night, but sometimes he really shows up.
6:38🔗
Adam
All right, anyway, Shaun Palmer will be in here talking about the snowboarding and what it takes to be a champion probably in about 15, 20 minutes. Until then, Matt?
6:48🔗
Yeah.
6:50🔗
Caller
First off, I'm nervous, so please pardon. Well, the closest I've gotten to snowboarding is riding down my boys' sled, standing up, landing face first in the snow.
6:59🔗
Adam
Yeah, listen, I refuse to even attempt this snowboarding because everybody I talk to is in traction after they go snowboarding. They've all had some sort of heinous injury.
7:22🔗
Caller
My wife and I have been trying to have a child for a little over a year, and she's just wondering if maybe it was the C-section we had when we had our first child.
7:35🔗
Caller
That takes back a lot of the question. And now could it be that maybe I'm taking too many bullets out of the chamber because Adam likes to practice what he preaches, right?
7:50🔗
Caller
My wife and I work two-step or shift. I just got off work. And I'm just wondering when I have the urge, hey, if it feels good, why not?
8:08🔗
Drew
A treatment position paper. Matthew and his masturbation. Matt, listen, you have another child?
8:25🔗
Drew
Anybody on medication or anything now? None. How long have you been trying for this time?
8:37🔗
Drew
That's the point. Is your behavior different now than it was when you got her pregnant previously?
8:43🔗
Drew
That's not going to make a big difference, right? And even so, even if it was a new habit, you can't really run out of sperm, okay?
8:52🔗
Adam
It's funny though. Masturbation is not something you stumble on to on your 28th birthday.
9:05🔗
Adam
All right, so Matthew, it's not the masturbating, obviously, because you were masturbating when you knocked her up 3 or 4 years ago, right?
9:17🔗
Uh, is what?
9:24🔗
Drew
Go get an evaluation by a gynecologist or fertility specialist. You're trying for a year. If you've been trying diligently, you might get with the ovulation kits over the counter, try to get your timing down. But in spite of all that, nothing works. It's the time to get an evaluation.
9:45🔗
Adam
When things are going fine, you can't get someone pregnant. You pull out your front teeth, start boozing and bring a shotgun into work and get fired. That's when you'll knock your neighbor up through the fence. All right. Where are we, Drew?
10:02🔗
Mike.
10:03🔗
Yeah.
10:05🔗
Caller
Yeah, I just got a couple of questions. The first thing is, is it better to use two condoms? Is it any extra protection or not? My girlfriend seems to think so.
10:15🔗
Drew
No, it's actually a lesser protection because the condoms rub against each other and increase their likelihood of ripping or breaking. So it's worse.
10:29🔗
Adam
No, you know, you're breaking in a pair of skates, though. You don't want to get blisters. You put on two pairs of socks.
10:35🔗
Caller
My second question is, with my girlfriend, she's late. Yeah. But she's been real sick. Does that play any part?
10:47🔗
Yes.
10:48🔗
What is she sick with?
10:50🔗
Caller
She's had real bad cough and kind of like the flu, almost. She hasn't been really sure. She's been running around and coaching all of us.
11:03🔗
Adam
It's funny when the two condom question is followed up by the pregnancy question. Doesn't the second question sort of answer the first question?
11:11🔗
Drew
But I love the way he's thinking when it was, Yeah, she's nauseated all the time. She feels crummy. She's late. She must be sick.
11:23🔗
Adam
That's great. Yeah. Yeah, the guy's lost weight. His hair fell out. It must have given him cancer.
11:39🔗
Adam
Mike really. So according to Mike's strategy, if he used four or five condoms, that would really decrease the chance of pregnancy.
11:56🔗
Drew
But listen, we were talking to SC tonight, to the head of the student services. He was saying how they were offering free HIV testing and people were flocking for the test. Yet, free chlamydia screens, which a significant, maybe 5% of the population there would have chlamydia at any given time, 60 out of 3,000 things he sent out, 60 people took advantage of it.
12:18🔗
Adam
What the hell is going on with HIV? Is it just some Hollywood thing? Did everybody have to jump on this bandwagon wearing that red ribbon and everything? Is it just some sort of cause du jour or something? How big a problem is HIV in this country, realistically? Are there more people die on mopeds in this country each year? Where does HIV rank?
12:59🔗
Drew
But the point is, well, let's put it this way, it had been and it was looking dangerous. It was looking bad. The trend has shifted and the people with HIV are living a lot longer there and so have to die from it. It's better.
13:11🔗
Adam
Yeah. Listen, I don't think it's that big a deal. That's me personally. I just think we got bigger fish to fry, like the tragedy of second-hand smoke.
13:28🔗
Drew
You know what? I used to let that up and side and down. I don't have it at the top of my head. It used to be around 150,000 or so.
13:34🔗
Adam
I guarantee more people die in that age range in automobile accidents. I would say triple.
13:47🔗
I can't get on line anymore.
13:52🔗
Adam
Oh, for Christ's sake. Can't you get on someone else's modem and go get on someone's modem?
14:26🔗
Caller
Anyway, okay. I've got a problem. I have two questions actually. I'll get to my problem first. Okay. My nipples, they're always soft. Okay. They only get hard like when it's like cold, and when a guy goes down there, is he going to think something like, okay, why is it your nipple is hard or anything?
14:57🔗
Adam
Your boobs could fall off. They wouldn't know halfway into it. They're not going to complain about that. No.
15:20🔗
Caller
Okay. I got one more thing. Are you ever going to bring Marilyn Manson on to your show?
15:24🔗
Adam
We'd love to have it on our show, but we don't... listen, listen. We get the cast of Malcolm and Eddie on this show. We don't get Marilyn Manson.
15:37🔗
Oh, man.
15:47🔗
Drew
And just talked about how he and his son watched the show all the time. Blah, blah, blah.
15:52🔗
Adam
Here's the thing about this show, and I was yelling at Drew about this in our car ride over to the limousine. Everyone seems to agree it's a great show. Every time we run into some celebrity, such as Ann Hayes or Ellen DeGeneres, they're all over it. They love the show. Everyone loves the show. Everyone wants to do the show, except for the part about actually doing the show. There seems to be some trouble there.
16:20🔗
Adam
And we go to parties, we go to openings, we go, well actually we don't go to any openings, but we go do things and we see people and we run into celebrities and they just couldn't be bigger fans of the show and they're just dying to do the show. But something happens along the way. I personally blame the publicist for this, but that's just me. I happen to think that they do not want a lot of their celebrities exposed to the harsh reality of the light of Loveline. I know it was a little bit bumpy, but they're scared if Drew Carey sits around for two hours in here and starts talking about all the hookers he's banging, it's going to hurt the ratings on his show. And the publicists don't want it to happen.
17:01🔗
Drew
Is that what he was talking about on our TV show? He kind of eluded to that kind of thing.
17:09🔗
Yes.
17:13🔗
Caller
I had called your show a couple months ago. And I had mentioned the fact that I read your book and you guys were talking about son Pearson. I didn't agree with that. I don't know if you guys remember.
17:26🔗
Caller
I heard from a friend and I also read in a psychology book that it was illegal in some states to give oral sex.
17:37🔗
Adam
There is always a bunch of those old grandpa laws on the book. It's like you can't skin a buck on your front porch. If you are going to bleed a pig, it's just a bunch of nonsense that just happens to still be on the book, but no one pays any attention to it anymore. You know what I'm saying? It's the same with oral sex.
18:06🔗
Adam
Right. Which I'm still with by the way. Come on, Drew. That ain't right. You all right, Brandy?
18:13🔗
Caller
Oh yeah, I'm fine. I was just reading a psychology book that says the crime against nature and it really stunned me.
18:22🔗
Caller
They say oral sex is a crime against nature. It really stunned me. They could say something like that is so common. It's against the law.
18:51🔗
Caller
See, that was exactly my comment right there. I'm not consumed with oral sex. I didn't get it for that purpose.
18:57🔗
Adam
All right. Hold on Brandy. I got to cut you off for a second. You're not consumed with oral sex. You're reading books on oral sex and then talking to your friends out of state about the legality of oral sex. For Christ's sake. I watch 17 hours of pornography a day. I don't think that much about oral sex.
19:29🔗
Adam
What do you mean you're not obsessed with oral sex, Brandy? That's all you've been talking about.
19:36🔗
Caller
It just happened to come up in a conversation, and then I happened to read this. This was a couple of months ago when you told me this.
19:41🔗
Adam
Okay. But other than calling radio shows and discussing oral sex, you don't think about it.
19:49🔗
Adam
All right. Well, we can tell you that that tongue piercing is a green light. I see one of the tongue piercings and I put my penis right in her mouth. I'm telling you, if she yawns at a restaurant, I'll jump over the table and put my penis in her mouth. That, it's a magnet. It's what it is.
20:05🔗
Oh, really?
20:06🔗
Oh, well.
20:08🔗
Adam
That tongue piercing means your mouth is open for business. You might as well just put those western doors, you know, those saloon doors?
20:16🔗
Adam
Put them there, too. You can just bash right through. You know, I kind of miss those doors. There ought to be more places. Remember Drew, hold on a second.
20:33🔗
Adam
Here's what I want to say, Drew. Don't get me sidetracked. Remember in the 70s, in the 60s?
20:41🔗
Adam
There were the beads. And then there were also those western doors. People would put those in their house or the restaurant or their tavern. The kitchen had those. A lot of like louvered, bifolding doors. A lot of this kind of thing. And it was back in the day when you couldn't just walk through an opening.
21:01🔗
Adam
Yeah. And if it wasn't a place where you needed a door like the kitchen into the hall, you had to hang some goddamn beads or put some louvered crap there. There had to be some sort of something for you to negotiate. You had to like earn your place in the room.
21:17🔗
Drew
Well, if somebody had to let you know that you were exiting one room and entering another.
21:20🔗
Adam
That would be too easy for you to just walk from the hall into the kitchen. You had to negotiate these spring-loaded western doors with that TV tray you had.
21:34🔗
Drew
I think that was mid-sixties, really. By the time the early seventies came around, that's when everybody had them. But I think it was a mid-sixties notion.
21:49🔗
Drew
How awful a time was that? Horrible. All you got to do is look at the architecture. And it says it all. That's right. People did the buildings is what they did to their lives.
21:59🔗
Adam
Let's take some cottage cheese, acoustic spray. We'll put some gold sparkles in it. We'll spray it on the ceiling. Then we'll take some nice burnt orange. Paneling. We'll put that on the wall. We'll use some Z brick. Hey, it's fake brick, everybody. And I was saying to a friend of mine the other day, what do people think of Z brick was brick, plastic molded brick like wallpapering. It's stuck out from the wall about a quarter inch. They used to give it away on the price is right.
22:36🔗
Adam
And I always I've said to someone the other day. First off, why should your den look like the inside of a barbecue? Number one, since having a bunker, a good thing.
22:48🔗
Adam
Oh, behind the sun. No, but people people would do whole rooms in it too, or they do the fireplace wall and then a whole wall along that way. And you could see the staples. And I thought to myself, what are people showing up the next day going, hey, herb, what'd you do? Knock out the wall and put some brick. Oh, no, it's plastic. I guess there was a time when plastic was sort of a novelty, so it was kind of cool to have it, but oh, that's Zebrick. All right, Venus, you're 23.
23:26🔗
Drew
Yeah, you could, I've been doing this. Listen, I've been doing this show since you were eight.
23:47🔗
Adam
They're like pepper spray and a flask. If it ever comes after, you can throw it and distract it. Hang on, Venus, we're going to bring Shaun Palmer in here. Well, first, we're going to take a break. We'll bring Shaun Palmer in here and he'll tell us all about the snowboarding and then we'll talk to Venus and all that after this.
24:05🔗
You have five seconds.
24:24🔗
Adam
Hey, y'all. It's Loveline. Phone number 1-800-LEVE-191, fax number 310-854-4255, I'm Adam Corolla, it's Dr. Drew. Well, USA's, USA Today's Athlete of the Year has showed up, Shaun Palmer. Let me just get this straight. Four gold medals at the X Games?
25:02🔗
Shaun Palmer
Supercross last year, I qualified for a 125 main event at LA Coliseum and that meant more to me than any of these gold medals or any of these world championships because that is the baddest sport in the world.
25:16🔗
Adam
Hey, we had Jeremy McGrath in here just a couple of minutes ago. Oh, jeez, I got to try to. Oh, wait a minute. I got to get tickets.
25:25🔗
Adam
I got to get tickets for this gig. Hey, Lynch. Hey, you know, we got to talk. I'm pointing at Shaun's woman because she also handles Jeremy and some friends of mine want tickets. And I got to talk to her about a whole bunch of things. I want one of those scooters, too, those like scooters that you fold up and then I don't know.
25:57🔗
Adam
I just want a scooter. For what? No, I want one of those scooters. You know, like a skateboard with a motor with an engine on it and it folds up and it has like a handlebar on it.
26:11🔗
Shaun Palmer
It's a lawnmower motor with a fold-up handlebar unit that you can put like in a trunk of a Toyota Corolla.
26:25🔗
Adam
So you're lucky. He loves them Cadillacs. All right. So let's talk about you and then I'll figure out how I'm going to get my go-ped and why I think about Jeremy McGrath when I think about the go-ped. Why? I don't know why. I think he knows somebody who works for them or something. I don't know why I'm making that connection, but I'm going to try to work it out. This weekend, by the way, is the Swatch Bordercross at Bear Mountain. What is the Bordercross?
26:49🔗
Shaun Palmer
The Bordercross is pretty much a motocross track that they try to build. It's not quite as technical, which it should be, but it never is. This is the third stop on the Swatch Tour. The second stop was last weekend in Italy where I won the fifth world title, which was joined with that.
27:07🔗
Adam
And it's basically, is it five or seven guys doing a downhill simultaneously, jumps, berms, no whoop-dees. Are there whoop-dees?
27:19🔗
Shaun Palmer
There should be whoop-dees, but that would make us look pretty stupid out there, because we don't have no suspension except our legs, Adam. So give us a little break on that.
27:31🔗
Shaun Palmer
Head-to-head, six at a time. You are right with six. Six go out of the gate at once. We have qualifiers and three advance. Three go to the losers' bracket, and yeah, yeah, yeah, all the way to the final.
27:41🔗
Adam
And as far as being faster than the other guys are in a sport that's pretty much, you know, it's a soapbox derby with jumps in a way. I mean, I always watch that sport and I go, now I wonder if the fat guys are going to go down the hill faster, or the skinny guys are going to cut the wind better, or maybe the guy with the most wax on his board is going to pull out ahead. And I know you got to negotiate a few berms and you got to take a few jumps and if you take a good line and if you have good skill on those, you're going to pull ahead. But for the first, I don't know, 75 feet or 100 feet, how do you figure out who gets out first? I mean, isn't that sort of God's will there?
28:22🔗
Shaun Palmer
That is definitely God's will and it's right out of the gate. You really have to time it right. And once you get out of the gate first, it's open road. It's like any other sport.
28:32🔗
Shaun Palmer
No, you pull it, man. You got a handle and you're pulling. And it's the smartest man wins within five seconds. They say, rider's ready five seconds and the fastest guy out of the gate usually has an open road.
28:45🔗
Adam
Right. So it's sort of like BMX or even motocross in that you know about when the gate's going to drop, but to get the whole shot, you got to time it just right. And if you're a hair early, you're going to just spill over the gate, right?
29:02🔗
Shaun Palmer
That's a barge. Then you... I don't know what they do. I don't think we ever had... I don't think you really can barge. You just hit the gate and then, you know, you don't have enough power to really...
29:12🔗
Shaun Palmer
You just get a bad start. You just get a bad start and you're in the back. So...
29:24🔗
Adam
Well, I'm just going off what the notes say. I mean, five world snowboarding champions. Championships. But is your board faster than other guys?
29:41🔗
Shaun Palmer
By the way, I got a free snowboard for you. But only if you're going to ride it. Because I heard you went skiing. It didn't go that well and you're not too into snow. I want to know what the deal is.
29:52🔗
Adam
I don't know if you can see the scar on the bridge of my nose here. When Drew and I get in the makeup, she takes a little black eyeliner pencil and draws in the part of my eyebrow that should have been there. That was from the one time I went snow skiing.
30:09🔗
Adam
I enjoyed it up until the part where the 200 pound guy barreled over me with his skis and then whacked me and had to get a bunch of stitches on the bridge of my nose. But hey, if you give me a snowboard, I'll go. I'll probably sell it there. But I'll at least take it out to the snow.
30:25🔗
Shaun Palmer
You just have to go once. You can off it up there if you like, but I got one for you.
31:15🔗
Drew
And how old was he when he came into your life? How old were you when he came into your life?
31:22🔗
No.
31:48🔗
Adam
You got the world's dumbest callers. And I'm just going to go out on a limb and say listeners do.
32:51🔗
Drew
I would bet he's an alcoholic too. I mean, mom would not just suddenly start seeking out alcoholics.
32:57🔗
Adam
Yeah. Yeah. Usually if dad number two is an alcoholic, dad number one was an alcoholic. But the kids are too young to remember because dad number one took off when they were about two or three years old and they don't really remember. Shaun, has that happened to your dad?
33:13🔗
Shaun Palmer
That's happened to my dad. Yeah, he left when I was born. I didn't even see him.
33:27🔗
Shaun Palmer
No, I hooked up. He wanted to hook up with me when I was about twenty years old after he seen me on TV or something. I said it was a little too late.
33:33🔗
Adam
Yeah, good. What a nightmare. You know, that's the problem. You know, half the guys in the NBA, their dads are showing up at their door now. Hey, son, remember me? I can't remember your name, but you're number eighteen. Not on your jersey either. It's just I had twenty-two kids and you're number eighteen. I'd like to get back in your life and see if I can't get a shoe endorsement.
34:02🔗
Drew
Yeah, but it may be in recovery in name only. A lot of guys slip and slide around for those eleven years. And the fact that Venus is seeking him out. If you do it, you've got to commit to go into some Alan On for quite a while and work a program. Because this sounds like if he's in recovery now, you may be a part of pulling him out of it, if you're not in some sort of photo-pensure recovery.
34:49🔗
Adam
GoPed. I've got to get one. You know, I was talking to my friend, Kevin during when we were in Miami last weekend, and he said, I can't buy GoPed. I'm 37 years old. And I said, I can't buy one either. And I said, okay, here's the deal. I'll buy one for you and you buy one for me. You can go home and tell your wife I bought it for you.
35:09🔗
Caller
Well, I've been dating another guy for probably about six months. And things are going real, real well. We're getting along really well and we seem to be getting closer together. But he's got a lot of pressure with his family. Like he hasn't told anyone in his family. And he lives with his brother. And it seems like there's another girl that's a friend of his brother's that is interested in him. And he's not interested in her because obviously we've been dating. But I think that there's pressure that he might want to date her just so that his brother doesn't find out about us.
35:51🔗
Caller
Yeah. And I'm over at their house all the time. His brother just thinks we're friends.
36:00🔗
Adam
What do you do? You don't talk? You're over at the house? What? I can tell. I can hear in your voice.
36:16🔗
Shaun Palmer
They don't. Because that's what I always wonder. I go, if I'm going to be gay, I mean, I'm going to cuddle with a hairy man as my partner.
36:27🔗
Adam
You know why? Because hairy guys produce too much testosterone, which stops you from going gay.
36:39🔗
Drew
Todd, are you sure that he is not perhaps just making an excuse for why he wants to date this girl?
36:44🔗
Caller
I don't think that. I mean, he says he doesn't really want to date her. It's just that...
37:01🔗
Adam
Well, if he's dating her, he's clearly not as interested or committed to Todd as he should or could be.
37:12🔗
Adam
And if he's worried about... I mean, imagine that. You're trying to keep the wool pulled over your brother's eyes and you're living with the guy. I mean, just get out of there. It's too much pressure. It's like bosom buddies or something. Just get out of there. It's too much work. You want to be gay? You want to go in the parade and stuff? You don't want to butch it up in front of your brother? Don't take this the wrong way, Shaun. But I'm telling you, we'd make a great gay couple.
37:39🔗
Shaun Palmer
Oh, I agree. Don't you think so? We got the same hatred attitude. Are you hatred? No, no. No, I overreacted. He's apathy.
37:53🔗
Shaun Palmer
Now, if we had two Harley, some leather chaps, and two snowboards on our back, would we be going to the mountains?
38:05🔗
Adam
Yeah, I mean, you probably got a whole snap-on toolbox in your garage. Oh, yeah. I got a whole box full of tools. I can do anything. We could go snowboarding. I'd be your escort when you go to Italy, and win those World Championships, and I'd be getting all the free booties.
38:31🔗
Shaun Palmer
And it would be the Corolla and the El Dorado. So the El Dorado would definitely be the man.
38:41🔗
Adam
You would be putting your crank in my trunk. That's what you're talking about if you're working the car now.
39:06🔗
Shaun Palmer
He's not one of them dirty bathroom, kinky gay things. He's more like a take out to dinner dude. Right.
39:21🔗
Hey.
39:33🔗
Adam
We'll tell you everything you need to know about that vacuum pump. Shaun Palmer's here and we'll be back after this.
39:58🔗
Hey, it's Loveline.
40:00🔗
Drew
Can you believe, Mike, can you believe Adam and I are paid the same? Comes late, wanders in, talks to people at home. Imagine that.
40:09🔗
Adam
Come late on your ass. Hey, it's Loveline. You see how miserable this one, Drew takes the range for just 15 seconds.
40:26🔗
Adam
Shaun Palmer's our guest tonight. He is USA Today's Athlete of the Year and I think Details Magazine's Athlete of the Year too. Four gold medals at the X Game in three years. Five snowboarding world championships. Qualified at the, which supercross did you win?
40:55🔗
Shaun Palmer
Mountain biking, that's a summer deal too for me. I almost won the world championship in that by 1500 of a second. I missed it in 96.
41:08🔗
Shaun Palmer
There's dual slalom and downhill that I specialize in. There's also cross country. But that's for full, skinny, skeletor fitness freaks and I'm not really like them. I'd like to be. I appreciate it but I'm not like that. I'm more of a relaxed kind of guy that likes to go speedy, fast. Yeah.
41:28🔗
Adam
I look at the same thing when I turn on the TV. I see the Winter Olympics and I see the cross country skiing. I go, amazing. I could never do it.
41:37🔗
Shaun Palmer
Exactly. Because they're going, they're going, they're going. You're going, God, this guy's an Iron Man, but it sure is boring. Yeah.
41:44🔗
Adam
At least in the pentathlon, the guy stops and drinks like a pony keg and then fires a rifle off or something, and then like skins a deer.
41:59🔗
Adam
But yes, the mountain bike racing is cool, but I want to take a ski lift to the top and then coast down. I don't want to ride up the hill.
42:12🔗
Adam
At least. It seems to me, and I know you didn't have a lot of experience with downhill mountain bike riding before you got into it.
42:23🔗
Adam
I was reading the bio. It seems to me that if you got big wave-os and you're used to negotiating a hill at breakneck speeds on a snowboard, that the mountain bike, even though it ain't a snowboard, could be a fairly smooth transition. I mean, a lot of the same skills apply. I think they're translatable. Is that a word?
42:48🔗
Shaun Palmer
Definitely. When you ride BMX your whole life, you got bike skills and you always take the same lift up. That's a ski lift.
43:10🔗
Shaun Palmer
They put spikes on it, Corolla. They do spike them up, but I'm not, I'd rather ride my mountain bike in the dirt where it belongs, if you know what I'm saying.
43:19🔗
Adam
You know, one of the coolest sports in the X Games are these homemade dragster sleds. Have you seen these things? First off, they stop by deploying a snow shovel. The guy farts and a shovel comes out from where his ass is in the dragster, and it drags on the ground. I don't know why they all have a snow shovel on there. I see a guy, he's got like a Pennzoil sponsorship, he's got wind tunnel testing, he's got alloy and chromoly, tubing made out of the thing, his aircraft parts, and then a snow shovel comes out to stop him. They all stop at this snow shovel, even though they have these things that are worth as much as a Learjet now, but they stop by dragging a snow shovel. They should really just throw a piece of furniture, like an ottoman with a rope tied to it or something, or some sort of drag anchor. But these guys go 100 miles an hour down these things and they can't figure out how to steer them.
44:14🔗
Shaun Palmer
Those are called crack heads. These are manufactured in a little bitty garage somewhere where we've never seen. And I don't know what they do.
44:25🔗
Adam
They go fast in a straight line, but no one can figure out how to steer them or stop them.
44:34🔗
Adam
They hit the, they go to the bottom and they run into a big cargo net and they fall apart.
44:39🔗
Shaun Palmer
And then the camera zooms in on the guy's face and he's a hero, because he lived through it.
44:45🔗
Adam
Yeah, I know. And listen, I'd build one of those and just put a chimp in it and send it down, like the space program.
45:19🔗
Caller
My question is, you know, I hear these on the radio late at night, that is. You know, oh, buy my, buy this penis pump.
45:37🔗
Adam
And what are they, they don't call it a penis pump. They must, they must call it like an ego enhancement device or something.
45:48🔗
Adam
The, listen, the penis pump works if you keep it on. That's what I'll do. I'll just go ahead and pull the tube off the end and pull the condom up over the actual pump. But boy, it stays hard for hours.
46:03🔗
Caller
Well, the question is that, is it worth, is it really going to happen if I were to buy this thing that's quite expensive?
46:17🔗
Adam
I don't want to piss off any potential sponsors of the show. Me neither. But, Drew, the penis pump uses vacuum pressure to draw blood to the penis, correct?
46:37🔗
Adam
Right. Now, every morning when you wake up with a boner, there's blood drawn to your penis.
46:49🔗
Adam
Unfortunately. I don't know why God was so cruel with that. Meaning, when you do a curl, you draw blood to the muscle, right?
47:06🔗
Adam
No. All the penis pump does is, Drew, what Mother Nature already does. Now, they have penis bumps for guys. I just saw one at the Thrifties when I was at the pharmacy the other day. They have a pump that if you're having erectile difficulty, will draw the blood to your penis and then you snap a ring, like an O-ring at the base of it, like a clown tying a balloon at a kiddie's kid's party and it keeps it in there. So you suck it all in. I'll use my finger shot. Suck it all in.
47:42🔗
Adam
And before, before it can come out, you snap this ring around the base and when you want it to drain, you pull the thing off and it drains back down again.
47:57🔗
Shaun Palmer
Now, wouldn't an International Club magazine do the same sort of effect as the pump itself? I mean, if you're into women?
48:05🔗
Adam
Yes, it would unless you have a problem with your vascular system, right Drew? And so, in which case you need to rely on vacuum pressure. Andy.
48:37🔗
Caller
Yeah. My question is, I'm curious as to, I kind of identify with you. I tend to be good at most of things that I do, sports activity-wise.
48:58🔗
Caller
Yeah, more a sports guy. I don't think I have a lot of time, but I try to, it's hard to find time to practice a little time and get good at something when I've got to work, too. And I was wondering, do...
49:17🔗
Caller
How do you, I mean, do the sponsors take care of you? Or is it, how do you get started?
49:23🔗
Shaun Palmer
Well, my sponsors take care of me as far as traveling and paying for it. But as far as the anxiety attacks and pressure that I put on myself, that's all my own fault.
49:33🔗
Caller
But getting started, how do you, I mean, did you just start out just kind of hobby-ish and you know, go for it?
49:39🔗
Shaun Palmer
Yeah, kind of hobby-ish, I'd say. Corolla, what do you think? Hobby at first and then you kind of roll into the profession or?
49:48🔗
Adam
Well, you stop me if I'm wrong here, Shaun. But I don't think it's different than starting a career in show business or starting a band. What do you do when you have to practice and you're not getting paid and you've got a daytime job? How do you get the band off the ground? It's the same thing. I mean, you chip away, you chip away, you chip away. And only the ones that are dedicated enough, after they put in a 40-hour week and the wife's screaming at them and the kids crying, and they can still find a few hours to go practice the drums or the downhill snowboard or hit the weights or whatever the hell it is or go do some stand-up at some club that no one wants to see at for free.
50:29🔗
Adam
Sorry, sons of bitches. The point is, that's how you separate the wheat from the chaff, right?
50:36🔗
Shaun Palmer
That's how. You just have to stick with it and you will succeed if you really want to.
50:43🔗
Adam
Right, but your plan of getting a sponsor before you can actually go down the hill is probably, in theory, it's good except for practically no one's going to sponsor you. All right, hey, it's the Loveline. We're going to take a little ten-second top-of-the-hour station identification break, and we'll be back in ten seconds with more Loveline.
51:28🔗
Adam
It is the Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. A little correction, I said wheat from the chafe, it's wheat from the chaff, which I thought about. So I had Drew look it up, and Drew's still immersed in the dictionary, everybody. Hey, you know you're boring when your partner's got his face stuffed in a dictionary.
51:50🔗
Adam
I mean, if there's a bottle of salad dressing and Drew could read the ingredients on it, and the Hawaiian Thousand Island Giveaway sweepstakes, he would gladly do that. Anything instead of sit here and listen to my ass all night. You got it.
52:11🔗
Adam
Weep from the chest. Shaun Palmer, who is USA Today called the Athlete of the Year. So did...
52:20🔗
Adam
So did Details Magazine. Four gold medals at the X Games, five snowboarding world championships. I mean, this guy excels at every sport. If it involves speed.
52:40🔗
Shaun Palmer
There's motors. It's not gravity. You start them up, you smell the oil, you see the crowd. I mean, it's a different deal.
52:50🔗
Adam
At least according to the 70s commercial. I used to listen to it. There's nothing better than when the Super Bowl of Motocross would show up at the LA Coliseum. And they would drop 120 feet through the night air, through the peristyle, down to the floor of the Coliseum, and then through the whoop-de-do's.
53:12🔗
Adam
What they try to do is intimidate you into going. Like, you're scared. Maybe if you stay home, the announcer's gonna catch wind of it, come over and kick your ass. That's how they kind of used to do it. Same with the drag racing. Shirley, Cha-Cha, Mo Downey, the shy town hustler. TV's Tommy Idol.
53:32🔗
Adam
You know, it's great, too, is when they get some kind of trumped-up sort of argument going between the two guys. It's like, in the drag racing one, they'd go, oh, who was it? Shirley, Cha-Cha, Mo Downey, says she's going to take that trophy this year, but Big Daddy Don Goh has got other ideas. I was like, really? Did you really talk to Shirley and Big Daddy and get it sorted out before you came on the radio? Or is that just speculation on your part? All right. Do you remember the commercial?
54:19🔗
Adam
It went... Let me test the reverb. Okay. So he'd go, he'd go, nitro-methane. Drop it on the ground. Drop a match on it. Virtually nothing. But put it inside a 500 cubic inch Hemi-Head Mopar engine.
54:51🔗
Adam
I would love to find... Scott Mason probably has like a fourth pager with that guy's number. Have you seen Scott Mason's... Scott Mason's the engineer over K-Rock. He not only has pagers, but he has a pager belt. It has a holster on it. I mean, his pagers snap out. He's a multi-pager guy. Jenny. All right, page me.
55:28🔗
Caller
Yeah, there's like a whole magazine. There's a whole thing for hairy guys into hairy guys.
56:16🔗
Caller
It was fine. I found out when I was like 12 or 13. And my parents got divorced when I was seven.
56:25🔗
Drew
That must have been tough, though, that your parents were separated when you were seven.
56:34🔗
Shaun Palmer
So I need to butt in here. So when the Super Bowl went on, was there like 15 hairy guys at your house and you were the only one around?
56:44🔗
Drew
But there's a case in point here. I mean, what counts is the parents' availability for the children.
56:49🔗
Adam
Listen, I could see a gay guy being a better dad than most of the guys who call in this show. First off, he probably ran a pretty tight ship. I mean, it wasn't like a denty more stew cans all over the place, cigars put out in the sink, and dirty underpants everywhere, right? He kept it together. Play smelled of potpourri?
57:12🔗
Caller
Well, no. But he's like a regular guy. Like, you said you could hear that that guy was gay who called before. You would have no idea, my father.
57:34🔗
Adam
All right. I appreciate that correction. But I still think it's a very small percentage of men who are gay. Most, you know, I picture gay men and I do picture gay men.
57:48🔗
Adam
They're sort of hairless. You know what I mean? They're like mango. They're like the mango. You know what I mean? Put the mango on, Mike.
58:05🔗
Adam
Oh, we're going to another. That's all right. Go ahead. You put the mango on whenever you're ready.
58:19🔗
Caller
No problem. My question was, I don't have that many guy friends. And every time that I seem to make a friend, they seem to use me in some way, like we'll be hanging out or something, and we'll just like make a move, and I for some reason can't really know.
58:46🔗
Drew
Not all guys are that inappropriate. In other words, there's only one constant here. Either all guys are total a-holes, which is almost true, but not totally true, or something Katie's doing is responsible for this.
59:16🔗
Adam
Listen, when you say, I don't think so, other people do, it's really like you saying, yes, I am.
59:36🔗
Caller
I don't know. It's just like all the guys that I make friends with seem to be like that.
59:52🔗
Adam
Let me tell you something about Shaun. I don't know if he's book smart, but he has a certain je ne sais quoi. He has a certain style to him, a certain attitude, and a certain sort of street savvy that is very apparent. May not come through on radio, but I can feel it in the room. All right, Katie? Yeah. Is your dad a jag ass?
1:00:23🔗
Caller
I don't know what I'm doing wrong, why all the guys that I make friends with are like that.
1:00:52🔗
Shaun Palmer
Can we set it up, Adam? Is it legal on the radio to set up dates? I mean, not a date, but just a friendship, a start, something where I could just get to her without touching her or feeling her.
1:01:20🔗
Adam
I love the mango. All right, here we go. Now, where the hell are we, Drew? No mango for you. I'm looking at a call that says like, uh, uh, wife's, uh, wee-wee is, uh, dripping. All right, go ahead. Yeah, that, that sounds like, uh, my kind of call. Robert?
1:01:58🔗
Caller
Okay. And this is our third child. And with this child, she's got like a mucus drip coming out of her, like almost every day. And yesterday, she came out of the bathroom and she's like, I got this mucus drip coming out of me and it's just hanging on me like a burger.
1:02:22🔗
Adam
You just added eight minutes to tonight's whack-off session. Robert, I hope you're satisfied. Making a total of eight and a half minutes. I have to spend on myself tonight. Hey, Robert, hold on a second now. How old is your wife?
1:03:07🔗
Adam
Eighteen to twenty-three thousand dollars a year this SOB is pulling down. You're on your third kid. Why are you putting that kind of pressure on yourself?
1:03:18🔗
Caller
I, you know, I don't know. She's really the first girl I ever met. You know, we seriously had a good relationship going. You know, one thing led to another. I found out she got pregnant when I was seventeen.
1:03:32🔗
Adam
I understand, but, yeah, why three? I mean, how much money do you have? How much time do you have?
1:03:43🔗
Adam
I know you have a lot of years ahead of you. Hell, you'll be getting your GED by the time they're graduating the tenth grade. But I mean... How much time do you have when you get home from work? I mean, you got three kids.
1:04:04🔗
Adam
All right. To me, it sounds like a tall order. You're 20 years old, you're trying to get your career off the ground, and you have all this.
1:04:32🔗
Adam
Yeah. See, I don't think it's fair to do that to kids. Kids, you know, they need a yard and shoes and stuff, you know? GoPeds. And they need a GoPed.
1:04:44🔗
Caller
We don't live in like a big old huge apartment complex. We live in a little foreplay.
1:04:50🔗
Adam
All right, Robert, listen. No more kids, though, for a while. Would you please? All right.
1:04:59🔗
Drew
I don't know. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. I worry that she might be leaking or maybe she has a placenta, a previa, something. Has she had her prenatal care recently?
1:05:15🔗
It's a stop up, it's her labor.
1:05:20🔗
Caller
Um, she saw the doctor last week, but this started about maybe a couple days after the doctor.
1:05:25🔗
Drew
You gotta give them a call. It may be some sort of rupture, a placenta, previa, or something that's causing that. I would be very concerned about it.
1:05:57🔗
Drew
But we're used to Los Angeles kinds of cost of livings. You know what I mean? 18 a year in Los Angeles, you couldn't buy food.
1:06:06🔗
Adam
Drew, 20 to 30 grand a year, which by the way means 21.5 a year. Because listen, you know, by the way, on 20 to 30, you know the answer.
1:06:24🔗
Adam
It ain't 150 to 160 grand a year. It's 20 to 30. You know, he makes 21, 22,000 a year. Shaun, shut your cake over a second here. I don't care where you're living. I don't care if you're living in Kentucky in 1926. You got three kids. Now, the wife's not working, diapers, all that. She's in a perpetual state of pregnancy too. I don't understand that kind of thinking. Your wife has just been perpetually pregnant for, you know, whatever, four years now, right?
1:07:29🔗
Caller
Well, the last woman I tried to ask out, she, you know, when things started off real good, and, you know, real, you know, like, real fast, and, like, within, like, a two-week period, it just, like, stopped completely. And she just said she just wanted to be friends because...
1:08:12🔗
Adam
I don't know what the Devil's Advocate is, but the point is, is I was thinking of an old movie called Devil's Reign.
1:08:18🔗
Adam
Where people were like, uh, melting and screaming and I was hearing shrieks and, uh, anyway, the show I was thinking of started with Devil's Reign.
1:08:40🔗
Adam
So, Eric. Yes. You... Okay, hold on. Well, let's talk about Eric for a second. Just hang on. Eric's a weird guy. He spooks chicks. And he's one of those kind of intellectual, maybe Dungeon and Dragon type guys. He overthinks everything. And he describes... He's living a little bit of his own world, you know. He'll say, I met this chick. I asked her out. Things were going real fast. Things were hot and heavy, moving along real fast, going real good. Then she told me she just wanted to be friends. Now, if I'm talking 21 year old guy, says he met a chick, things are moving along real fast. I'm thinking he's gotten, you know, he's maybe nailing one of her friends. At the same time, she's got the video camera out or something.
1:09:22🔗
Shaun Palmer
Or he didn't play Monopoly when he was young like I did and come out to be totally normal.
1:09:27🔗
Shaun Palmer
I'm completely normal. I had park place and boardwalk every single time. I was the master.
1:10:21🔗
Adam
So you've had sex, how many times would you say in your life? Teens, twenties, thirties?
1:11:00🔗
Shaun Palmer
No, you don't try to be cocky with golds or prove you're some man. You go up to the bar as just a little shaky, you know, guy in the bar that's all alone. You pour a Budweiser straight over your head and then you go ask the girl to dance. And usually they come on to you, no matter, you know, it might sound weird.
1:11:18🔗
Shaun Palmer
But that's what works for me. Now this guy's playing a little too nice, I think. Girls are walking all over him.
1:11:25🔗
Shaun Palmer
He's got to change his ways. He's got to, if you act like a derelict, most of the time these girls love you.
1:11:52🔗
Adam
Here's the deal. Many a man has gone through many a slump in his life. God knows. I had my twenties. The entire decade. The entire decade was a slump. I don't know why, but it's just failure breeds more failure. You lose some face and some self-esteem and then you go walking around with this big kick me sign on your back. And women, because they're cruel by nature, seem to pick up on that very well. You're just a couple of good scores away. It's like gambling. It's really, you can. And we all know how gambling goes. You can sit down at that 21 table and you can lose 30 hands in a row or you can sit there and win 30 in a row, right?
1:12:37🔗
Adam
It's the same thing with this and Eric. So Eric, there's no way to fight out of this slump other than to stay busy, get a sport you're into, get involved and then just let it work its way out. But if you sit around scheming and strategizing, it's not going to work.
1:13:05🔗
Adam
You know, it's great over there. Ted, Ted's got the big bushy mustache and the big Coke bottle glasses. He's in his 50s and every time I see him, he goes, I lost my old lady to the sport. You lost your old lady to flying model airplanes? You're damn straight.
1:13:30🔗
Adam
Two-collar guys call their wives old ladies and they call their kids the kid. The kid and the old lady.
1:13:39🔗
Adam
The old lady. I got a world model Piper Cub that I keep in my garage. The old lady backed the car over it, so I backhanded her.
1:14:06🔗
Adam
You're uncircumcised. You want to know if this is going to be a problem when you pierce your penis?
1:14:17🔗
Shaun Palmer
No, you know, I've always left my penis stock because I don't really want to modify that thing because I want that thing to run solid. I've been into racing my whole life.
1:14:26🔗
Shaun Palmer
And once you modify something, you have to use race gas. It's kind of a pain in the ass. Right. You got to leave that penis stock. I leave in mine running clean because I don't want to modify and mess that up because I want that thing definitely to work the rest of my life. Now, don't cut in on it.
1:14:47🔗
Adam
No, I was going to say, but you avoid the warranty too if you make modifications on it.
1:15:28🔗
Adam
Hey, it's the Loveline, Shaun Palmer is here. The world's greatest snowboarder, and not a bad mountain bike rider or motocross racer, but certainly the world's best snowboarder. Well, he's got to be good. He's got a snowboard named after him. And Drew's got an ironing board named after him, I think. Drew?
1:15:54🔗
Adam
Very nice, of which I will be the recipient of, when the night is true, right? Because you've got one.
1:16:02🔗
Adam
The deal is, I perform oral sex on you in the back of that Cadillac you have parked out there. And you, oh, the one we got, the radio deal?
1:16:13🔗
Adam
The radio deal is, you give me the snowboard, and I go out and ride the snowboard, and then I sue you. Because I broke my collarbone.
1:16:27🔗
Shaun Palmer
No, no, no. That's not what it is? No. I give you Corolla, the snowboard, and you have to go up and ride it.
1:16:47🔗
Adam
You know, I'll tell you, we meet plenty of cool people on this show, and we have plenty of opportunities. Unfortunately, we immediately run home and take a nap. I mean, and I don't know, I'm doing this. I'm taking you up on this. I guarantee it because I got to start living here, Drew. Good. I have to, Carpe Diem. Know what that means? Start living. I broke my shin. That's in snowboarding ease. But I got to live and I'm going to do this. We have Jeremy McGrath in here. He wants me to go to the Super Bowl of motocross. I don't go. Someone's going to teach me how to ride a go-kart, and race go-carts. I don't do that. I got to get in that Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix thing. I think I may be just...
1:17:55🔗
Shaun Palmer
Yeah. I want to race you. I'm calling you out on the radio. I want to race you.
1:18:07🔗
Shaun Palmer
I could probably wing it. We could probably get you in there. I mean, with a name like Corolla, I mean, what's Toyota going to do? Shut you down?
1:18:41🔗
Drew
Tim gives an interesting example of denial and how detached people are from their real motivation and feelings. Look, let's just make an assumption that preferences and choices and behaviors happen for a reason, not random.
1:18:55🔗
Drew
Let's break through with Tim and see what we can figure out. What is motivating him to do this? It's almost enough.
1:19:00🔗
All right.
1:19:07🔗
Cure.
1:20:06🔗
Caller
It went on for about probably like, I don't know, probably over a period of a month.
1:20:32🔗
Adam
You know how many years he could be in therapy? In a piercing place right down at the mall. You know what?
1:20:37🔗
Drew
If the piercing solved one GD thing, I'd send him on down for the piercing. I'd start doing piercings. It just perpetuates the problem.
1:20:47🔗
Shaun Palmer
And then when you're flying to Europe, I mean, I travel so much, what is your penis going to go off when you go through that thing? Every single time you're going to have to show the lady you're weaning?
1:21:02🔗
Adam
And you can't take your penis out and put it on that little fish and chips basket that you throw your keys into to slide to the other side.
1:21:10🔗
Adam
What a technological breakthrough those airport guys have. The basket that they ate salt and fish chips used to come in is what you throw your keys and your cufflinks in.
1:21:19🔗
Shaun Palmer
Got to take your jewelry out, put it in there, walk through, put it back in. You'll miss your plane.
1:21:24🔗
Adam
Tim? Yeah? Seriously now, brother. You know, you had that guy screw around with you and it's going to cause you some problems and it already has. I mean, look at you. You're into the goss scene.
1:21:36🔗
Adam
You got to sort a few things out. But here's what you need to do. You need to sort things out, not act things out. Oh, Drew, remember?
1:22:20🔗
Adam
Yes. You need to sort things out, not act things out. You know, my definition of a multiple orgasm for male is, same boner, different jizz. That's the aphorism I'm proudest of. Hey, Jimmy.
1:22:44🔗
Yeah.
1:22:45🔗
Just to let you guys know, the penis piercing does not set off the metal detector at the airport.
1:22:50🔗
It doesn't. No, I have two and I haven't had a problem yet.
1:22:56🔗
I have the Apodravia and the...
1:23:01🔗
No, Prince Albert's half. I have the whole thing pierced, the whole head.
1:23:10🔗
It goes through the entire head, through the urethra.
1:23:13🔗
Shaun Palmer
Man, you might as well connect the chain to the two ball bearings down there and keep the whole unit together.
1:23:31🔗
Well, it bled at first, but it congealed after a while.
1:23:35🔗
Drew
How do they get it through the cavernous bodies there, the responsible erection, without rupturing them and causing them to not work?
1:23:43🔗
You mean, like, how do they do the piercing at first?
1:23:45🔗
Adam
Yeah, and let me just get this straight. It goes through the head of your penis, right?
1:23:50🔗
Yeah.
1:23:53🔗
It's in the head, just about the middle of the head, vertically through.
1:24:01🔗
Drew
But how do they miss the apparatus in there that's responsible for your erection? There are two cavernous bodies in there.
1:24:21🔗
That's how the head is going to get.
1:24:25🔗
They clip clamp it and then pierce through it. And so there's holes in the clamp.
1:24:29🔗
Adam
I gotta tell you, not only do I disagree with the guy whose penis is in the clamp, but I question those who are doing the clamping as well. I mean, it's a guy, right?
1:24:42🔗
Um, what, yeah.
1:24:49🔗
Adam
He's putting a Crown Royal sack and a bench vise and then a guy's dropping his penis into it. I mean, this is what you're doing for a living. God, your parents gotta be pissed.
1:25:00🔗
Shaun Palmer
What gets me is, what is, uh, what, what's the period of time where you can't use your penis after it's pierced?
1:25:07🔗
Two weeks.
1:25:11🔗
I waited one week and, uh, I got infected because of it, but the infection went away.
1:25:15🔗
Shaun Palmer
You went forward anyway. See, now that's my problem. If I went to Pierce, I couldn't hold out for two weeks, Corolla.
1:25:20🔗
Drew
It was very good revealing logic there, which was, uh, hey, I did it in one week. They said it should have been two weeks, but I did it in one week. Right. And then I got an infection, my penis almost fell out.
1:25:27🔗
Caller
But anyway, so, how dare they suggest I wait two weeks. He did it in one week and he got infected.
1:25:43🔗
Adam
It's like living in LA. I couldn't drop my car off at the body shop and take a bus for two weeks. You'd need, I mean, you know, like, Drew, how long could you do without your car? An hour. Not even an hour.
1:25:56🔗
Adam
The point is you'd need another one immediately. I feel the same way about my penis. I would have to drop my penis off at the place. I'd have to get a rent a penis. Preferably a black one that was like twice the size. Twice? Three or four times. And I'd have to wave that around town for two weeks until I got my penis back.
1:26:18🔗
Shaun Palmer
Looks like you might as well chop it off and have nothing for two weeks. I can't live in...
1:26:23🔗
Adam
Jimmy, you have that piercing, the one that goes right through the middle of your head, and then what's the other one?
1:26:27🔗
Oh, it's on the bottom, about a half inch below the head. It's just the skin piercing.
1:26:35🔗
Drew
Now, do you have special condoms in order to prevent the condoms from ripping with all that hard work?
1:26:39🔗
No, actually, I'm able to use even, I have a steady girlfriend, so we use the thin condoms, and they rarely break.
1:26:54🔗
Oh, there's a ton of stuff up with me.
1:26:57🔗
Yeah, I also have a gay bear dad.
1:27:05🔗
That's actually a big thing, it's not just one magazine. They have websites and it's little magazines and it's a big movement within the gay community.
1:27:13🔗
Shaun Palmer
I know I live in Tahoe and there's bears up there, but they're just the real bears. I never have problems with the bear daddies or these gay bears or any gay weirdo bears like that. When I first moved in, my neighbors had a bear in their kitchen, but I mean, it was an actual real bear. A real bear, you know, chase you up the tree, things like that. Where do these people come from, Corolla, that have these bear fathers?
1:27:38🔗
Adam
I don't know, but I'll tell you, I got a decent amount of hair on my ass, and I bet if I posed in the sort of celebrity skin section, you know, something for the ladies, or actually for the gents in this case, with the hairy ass, I could probably pick up some coin. What do you think, Drew?
1:27:59🔗
Adam
Shaun Palmer is here, the world's greatest snowboarder, and in the top 10 of every other sport. We're going to take a break, and we'll be back.
1:28:09🔗
Caller
Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline in just a minute or two. Call 1-800-LOVE-191.
1:28:36🔗
Adam
The Loveline, Shaun Palmer, the world's greatest snowboarder is here, and the world's greatest guy. I'm proclaiming him as your new partner, life partner.
1:28:54🔗
Adam
We have a whole snowboarding thing going on. I'm going to be your valet when we go to Europe next, when you take on the world in the snowboarding championship. You're, yeah, no, no.
1:29:13🔗
Adam
Jimmy's 25. He's got a ton of stuff going on. He's got a chandelier hanging from his penis. Right. And his question is.
1:29:23🔗
When I was younger, I took a lot of LSD. When I say a lot, like probably around 100 different trips. And each time I tripped, I took at least two hits, usually three or four of acid. So we're talking a lot of LSD. And about a year ago, I had these symptoms for years of just...
1:29:42🔗
Well, I found out it was depression, but it's like a brain fog and fatigue and my memory doesn't work. I'm in constant dizziness. And after therapy, nothing's really improved. And I wonder, is this brain damage? Am I going to be stuck?
1:29:57🔗
Slow-moving objects, yeah.
1:30:07🔗
Drew
No, it's the colors going after objects that are moving. And that's because of a brain damage. It's not, think about it, how else could that still be happening? Well, yeah.
1:30:19🔗
Adam
Yeah, because obviously you don't have any of the drug floating around your system ten years later.
1:30:27🔗
Drew
And I can tell you every person I have met who did a helicity a hundred times has chronic trailers and recalcitrant chronic depressions.
1:30:36🔗
Drew
Got to be on medication. And even then the medicines are tough to get this medicine to, it's tough to get this depression to respond to medication, but it usually does. But you got to go through a lot of different, different trials of medication to get through.
1:30:53🔗
Drew
I think it's, for many people it's over 20 hits. That seems to be around the threshold, but 100 you definitely in.
1:30:59🔗
The thing that I'm really worried about is it's sort of like a cloudiness or are they described as brain fog? I mean, am I going to be stuck with that or will that, can that disappear with the medication?
1:31:09🔗
Okay. And what should I, what do you, I mean, is there anything you can think of or do I, is that something?
1:31:13🔗
Drew
Particular medication? I have not seen that there is any specific medication that is generally good for everybody. If difficulty concentrating is the issue, more stimulant types of antidepressant like Wellbutrin come to mind. Usually they start you on serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Stay away from many addictive substances. And I got to tell you, many times I have seen this go to ECT, electric shock therapy.
1:31:43🔗
Adam
Drew, let me ask you a question. I swear to God, I feel like I am in a fog, I am in a haze. I feel like I feel like hell all the time, right? But yet my brain functions really well.
1:31:58🔗
Drew
No, I was going to give you a compliment in a savant kind of way. And you come back, tonight we talked to a kid, and we were at this college thing, and a kid complained about ADD and animus. He immediately went, I think I have that. After having done very complex kinds of interaction with the people, all of a sudden we are hearing about you having ADD. You are still able to focus and carry out very complex tasks, and even sort of difficult, peculiar cognitive tasks. Pulling things together and being able to tell stories, complex stories.
1:32:40🔗
Adam
The point is, I oftentimes feel like I'm in a fog, I'm in a haze, I'm tired, I can't think straight, my brain is not functioning. Yet I go on and everything comes out okay. But I feel that way. I rarely feel lucid.
1:32:58🔗
Adam
It's all going to change when I move in with Shaun. You know how quiet it is up in Tahoe?
1:33:03🔗
Shaun Palmer
Did you hear that voice? It sounds so beautiful. It's about time we have a beautiful woman for some question.
1:33:14🔗
Caller
Well I have, I broke up with a guy about six months ago and he basically told me he was going to marry me and no matter what I did he wasn't going to leave and I mean and I care about him, I love him, you know I lost my virginity to him, I really do care but I just, I don't know what to say to him. I have a new boyfriend, I moved on How long ago did you break up? Huh?
1:33:52🔗
Caller
Well he, I mean he puts me on all these guilt tests about how I break his heart all the time.
1:33:59🔗
Caller
Well that's what I did, I told him I didn't want to talk to him for a month and after that month then I was.
1:34:10🔗
Drew
What are you going to do? Let him cling to the notion that in a month I'll get her back, I'll talk her into it.
1:34:19🔗
Adam
I've been there and back. We've all been there. Listen, I've had a lot of diabolical plans. I swear to God, you understand that I could speak fluent Japanese right now if I spent one-tenth the time learning Japanese that I did plotting to get some old girlfriend back. Jesus Christ. I don't know what's wrong with my genes. I'll kick my dad in the nuts next time I see him, if I can find him. Megan?
1:34:55🔗
Caller
No, but when we broke up, he started drinking really heavily every night. And I worry about him because he has a heart, something's wrong with his heart.
1:35:07🔗
Caller
We don't know. He's a firefighter. And one night, he couldn't breathe, and I had to bring him to the emergency room, and something was wrong with his heart and his lungs and stuff.
1:35:46🔗
Caller
No, he is. He's a volunteer firefighter, and he just started getting paid for it because he was doing it for... He lived in a really small town. So... All right.
1:36:18🔗
Adam
Oh, okay. Listen, I know you care about him. If you care about him, listen, it's like the kid really cared about old Yeller, so he put a bullet in his head because he cared, because he was suffering. You understand?
1:36:43🔗
Drew
I just had to ask the question. All these things are not Megan's responsibility. If he's threatening suicidality, you call the police, he needs to be in a psychiatric hospital, let the caretakers take care of him. If he has a cardiac condition, let his doctors take care of him. He has to be able to go on through the normal stressors of living.
1:36:59🔗
Drew
And an 18 year old, unless the cardiac condition is something outlandishly serious, which by the way they wouldn't keep him in the hospital for a day and a half, in fact that were the case, this is not going to be something significant. You've just got to let him go.
1:37:28🔗
Shaun Palmer
No, no, no. This is just pure life. There's no sports here. This is just actual life.
1:37:41🔗
Adam
They see that windbreaker with the decals on it and they know you're being in business. What are you talking about? We gotta go break. Alright, we'll be back. All right, I want to give some plugs to my homie, Sean Palmer.
1:38:27🔗
Adam
Swatch Border Cross, Bear Mountain. That is this weekend. See Shaun there? See Shaun win? See Shaun break his ass on that snowboard, and then see Shaun get drunk in the chalet.
1:38:40🔗
Shaun Palmer
I won't get drunk. I'm a professional athlete. How dare you bring up alcohol on the radio in front of the kids and the women, and my sponsors might bum.
1:38:55🔗
Adam
All right. Well, it's good because the show's over. Shaun, thank you very much for coming in. And we're going to talk about freebies out in the parking lot. So until next time.
1:39:12🔗
Caller
This is Gittin Loveline. The views expressed on Loveline are not necessarily those of the staff, the management, or the sponsors of this radio show. And they're probably not the views of Westwood One Entertainment. Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins Engel. Now, please listen to this station longer.