Episode 1000754887382

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised.

1:05 Go!

1:07 Voiceover Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:13 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-8-5-4-4-4-5-5. Dr. Drew is a Board Certified Physician and Addiction Medicine Specialist. And guess what, everyone? He's tired.

1:29 Drew No, you're kidding.

1:29 Adam Because he's out making money, doing something other than his job, and then he drags his tired ass in here every night and barely puts together a show. But don't worry, I'm well rested.

1:39 Drew Actually, it was David Allen Grier that burned me out last night.

1:42 Wow.

1:44 Drew Good thing he's our favorite guest.

1:45 Adam Yes, he is bipolar though, wouldn't you say? Yes, yes, all right, tonight, we're going to talk about Invert 2000 at the Anaheim Convention Center coming up. That's this weekend, the 17th through the 19th, right? What's tomorrow? Is tomorrow the 17th? Yeah, the 17th. You know, I'm 36 years old and I still have a lot of difficulty with the dates.

2:09 Drew You have a lot of things you have difficulty with, Adam.

2:11 Adam 75% of the time, I don't know what the date is and probably couldn't narrow it down to a four or five day margin. Geoff Rowley, Ryan Nyquist and Kareem Campbell are all here now. Two skaters and one rider, right? Yeah. Yeah. Lean up on those mics. And this, how many years has this event been going on? Is this the first year? Second year. Second year. And it's ramps, half pipes, and people are just trying to kill themselves, basically.

2:40 Yeah, it's like a full-on event, you know.

2:43 Adam And what kind of, what, is it, is it in, it's inside the Convention Center?

2:48 Guest Yeah, it's in the Convention Center all weekend long, I think.

2:50 Adam Who would have dreamed that sort of non-powered sports would get this big?

2:57 Guest Yeah, yeah.

2:57 Adam You know what I mean?

2:58 Guest Yeah.

2:59 Adam Like, I mean, it used to be, you know, okay, if you drove a NASCAR, you rode motocross, you know.

3:04 Guest Times are changing.

3:05 Adam Yeah, now it's like guys who coast, they're making a lot of money. I don't mean coast, but whatever.

3:10 Guest We're really, you know, we're pumping.

3:12 Guest And we take it. Yeah, we deserve it, man.

3:15 Adam I know, I know, because the skateboarders, do you see what they do on those rails?

3:21 Guest Yeah.

3:22 Adam That they're intentionally trying to take their scrotum out on that thing. What do you want there, Drew?

3:29 Drew Is it pictures or video games of you guys doing this stuff?

3:32 Adam Yeah. Now, how does this event work? Do they qualify on certain days?

3:37 Guest Actually, qualifying was today for the skateboarding.

3:39 Adam It was. Did you guys make it?

3:41 Guest Actually, I didn't even go.

3:43 Adam Why? That's Geoff. Why didn't you go?

3:45 Guest I did a commercial somewhere else, but I'm going to go on Saturday.

3:48 Adam Can you qualify on Saturday?

3:50 Guest No, but I'm just going to go anyway and skate for fun.

3:52 Adam How much money can you make?

3:54 Guest Skateboarding?

3:55 Adam Yeah.

3:55 Guest Or the contest?

3:56 Adam Well, I mean, like, is there a grand prize for the winner in second and third?

4:01 You get cash.

4:02 You get a couple thousand dollars.

4:03 Adam But where is the money in this sport? Is it sponsorship?

4:07 Sponsorship. We all have our own curled shoes to skateboards and everything else. We make royalties, just like music and everything else. Right.

4:15 Adam But it's not so much...

4:17 Guest It's not so much in the contest...

4:18 Adam .the prize money.

4:19 No, not.

4:20 Adam That's more a means to get your face out there, sell some product, get some endorsements.

4:26 Guest Action money.

4:26 Adam Do that kind of stuff. Yeah. I'm going to ask Ryan a question. I... or it's more than a question. It's more of a statement. I tell this to all the BMX guys. Why? You know, you got those big buddy pegs on the front and rear axles, right?

4:42 Yeah. Yeah.

4:43 Guest Right.

4:43 Adam And I understand that when you're doing some kind of street maneuver, you're doing the trick, you're doing the freestyle stuff. But when you're just jumping and you're trying to do a flip, or you're trying to do whatever you're trying to do, why not unscrew the pegs so they don't wind up in your ass when you inevitably eat ass at the bottom of the truck?

5:00 Guest Well, I mean, hopefully you're not going to cry. Yeah.

5:02 Adam Hopefully, hopefully.

5:03 Guest There's been a couple cases, you know, I've known some people that kind of take it up the booty, you know, and that's definitely not fun, and you don't want to like that.

5:10 Adam Hopefully I'm not going to crash in my car, but I didn't put an ice pick on the dashboard just to tempt fate. You know what I'm saying? I don't plan on crashing, but I may one day, and I don't want the ice pick to be there.

5:23 Guest Like when you're riding ramps, you can use those, I mean, you can grind on the handrails of the coping of the ramps.

5:27 Adam I understand, like I, you know, I want to be fair in my position, and I do watch, and I see the ramps, and at first I thought, no, what do they need the pegs for on the ramp? But they do a lot of grinds and slides and stuff along the coping or the top of the ramp. But not on the dirt stuff. The dirt stuff, you don't need it.

5:45 Guest Yeah, I mean, a lot of guys, yeah, a lot of guys don't use them. I keep them on my bike because I ride the ramps and the dirt. I just keep them on there to kind of have a familiar feel of the bike.

5:53 Adam How long do you figure it would take to unscrew those things though?

5:56 Guest It wouldn't take long, but I mean, you know, you kind of got that mic cover on there. Is that to make sure that you don't sit on it?

6:04 Adam He brings up a valid point, Drew, although I don't know what it is.

6:07 Guest That's almost like a condom, in a sense, really. Oh, that mic can get pregnant.

6:11 Adam All I'm saying is I did this show once where the guy from what the hell was the BMX guy who did the two backflips? This guy was practicing the two backflips on a ramp indoors in a soundstage in Florida. I was doing some crappy show with John Ritter. And I was watching him practice and I kept thinking to myself, geez, what do you need those buddy pegs for? And sure enough, he ate ass on one crash thing, went right into his ribs, just landed. It was like, you know, it's like, why don't you just tape knives to the handlebars? Now I've cursed you. Now you got to take them off before you hit the third.

6:46 Guest No, I'm going to leave them on. I'm just going to tempt fate.

6:48 All right. All right.

6:49 Adam Have it your way.

6:50 Guest I figure if anything, this will draw a bigger crowd.

6:54 Adam Now, is it a double dirt jump you got going?

6:58 Guest Yeah, they have a, it's a dirt jump set where it's, we call it a set of quads, basically one jump right after another.

7:03 Adam Right.

7:03 Guest And then the racers have kind of like a, I guess a course outside that where they, it's like time trial sprints where they race each other.

7:09 Adam You know, it's amazing because I used to ride BMX when I was a kid and the craziest thing you could do was a cross up.

7:16 Guest And if you could do like, You could call them a helicopter, right?

7:18 Adam If you could do, no, no, I mean, I mean get in the air and turn your handlebar an eighth of an inch to the right and then straighten it out before you hit the ground. And then, you know, I had the Moto Mags and the Moto Guzzi or the, I think I had a, you know, the hot tip was back in the day because I'm old school. You get the Schwinn girls bike, the slick chick or something like that and you weld the piece of plumbing pipe across the front, you know, make it into a boys bike. You know, the Foxy lady.

7:46 Guest You're real fascinated with the pipe stuff, aren't you?

7:48 Adam Yeah, put that pipe across there and weld it. I had some Moto Mags going. Yeah, I was looking good.

7:53 Drew So why would you put the pipe?

7:54 Adam Redline bars.

7:55 Guest Pipe on the seat almost seems more dangerous than pipe on the wheels.

7:59 Adam How dare you make fun of my theory? I'm trying to save your nuts.

8:03 Drew Why would you go through all that with the bike?

8:05 Adam It was the hot tip. You don't know anything about style. You get the Schwinn Girls bike, you weld the bar across.

8:11 Drew I see.

8:11 Adam It's like chick, foxy lady. I don't remember what the other one was. But anyway, the most radical thing you do is a cross up. Maybe the really hot guys could do the pancake where they could really lay it out. The tabletop. Yeah. She's got a new name for everything now. But the point is, is that's nothing now. That's a zero.

8:30 Guest It still counts. Actually, I haven't really even been able to learn that trick just going straight. I have that kind of, you know. It's hard for me. Like, I got a different situation with my feet, my pedals, my stance and everything. But during a 360, I can do them pretty good. But those guys, they can get the bike upside down.

8:46 Adam My theory on all this stuff is whether it's skateboarding or motocross or bikes or whatever it is, it's not that guys today are stronger or better and the equipment's a little better. Maybe the guys are a little better. It's just seeing somebody do it makes you decide to do it and then all of a sudden everyone's doing it. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do.

9:06 Guest It takes one guy to really go out there and kind of start setting trends or go out there and try it. It's always easier to be the next guy to try it knowing that something's more possible. You know what I mean? It's the same way of skating.

9:16 Adam Well, that's why I like to think I laid the groundwork for some of the guys.

9:20 Guest I mean, actually people still talk about the sun she pulled.

9:23 Adam Yeah. Yeah, down at the Teen Center in Van Nuys on a Friday night with the paper plate strapped to the front of the bike. Drew, you didn't do that. Your parents wouldn't let you ride a two-wheeler, would they?

9:36 Drew No, I didn't train wheels.

9:37 Adam Even in the college, right? All right, I'm going to show you guys my elbows just so you know I'm hardcore. You ready? Drew, can you see this? Now, you're a doctor, right? You see that scarring there? Yeah, see you guys, look at this hardcore, right? See that?

9:48 That's nice.

9:49 Adam What's that? Now we go to the other side. This isn't just one, this is just from years, years of abuse, you see the scar tissue.

9:59 Guest Are you sure that's from Ryan? Because that might just be elbows on the table.

10:03 Adam How dare you.

10:03 Drew So Ryan, that's what you're talking about.

10:05 Adam Oh, please. All of you, please. All right, so this weekend, Anaheim Convention Center, and it'll be for the skateboards, it'll be the half pipe.

10:15 Drew Half pipe and street.

10:17 Adam Oh, street is the like freestyle.

10:19 The opposite.

10:20 Adam Oh, with all those bars. Yeah. I was watching MTV last night, and they did this thing where a guy got pulled on a motorcycle on a skateboard and cleared like a 10-foot bar that was over a ramp. Because is this going to be a new one now?

10:35 No, hope not.

10:37 Adam Getting pulled by a motorcycle along some pier, hitting a ramp and clearing a bar that was 10 feet above the top of the ramp.

10:45 Guest Is that MTV or something?

10:46 Adam Yeah, that was some sort of new sport. So, all right.

10:50 Well, we jump bigger than 10 feet, though.

10:53 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you that.

10:54 Guest That must have been an amateur.

10:56 Adam That half pipe is the coolest thing ever. It really is. I mean, back in the day, we'd have to skate pools. Right, of course. You know what I mean?

11:02 Guest Oh, they still skate pools a lot.

11:04 Adam But I was so hard core, I skated them while the water was still in them, oftentimes. I was that hard core. You know, during the winter when they'd fill up, Drew, I'd still be out there skating them. Hell yes. Dean?

11:15 Yes.

11:15 Adam You're 20.

11:16 Caller Yes.

11:16 Adam What's up?

11:17 Guest Not much.

11:19 Guest Not much.

11:20 Guest No.

11:20 Guest All right.

11:21 Adam Okay.

11:21 Guest Horrible problem.

11:22 Guest All right.

11:22 Adam What is it?

11:23 Guest Get to it. All right. Check it out. I come home from work. I know no one's home, so I go in the bedroom and I find my girlfriend masturbating to my magazines, right? This is about two or three weeks ago.

11:35 Adam Yeah.

11:35 Guest Now she doesn't like to have sex with me anymore. She just prefers to masturbate to my magazines.

11:40 Adam You're gay porn that you have lying around?

11:41 Guest Well, not my gay porn, but she, I think she's gay.

11:45 Adam You do?

11:46 Guest Yes.

11:46 Adam What magazines?

11:47 Guest What magazines? They vary.

11:50 Adam Which ones?

11:51 Guest Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Come on, baby.

11:53 Guest No, no. Like Lady Porn or what?

11:55 Drew No.

11:55 Adam He's bogus. Because he can't come up with specific details.

11:58 Drew He doesn't know exactly what's going on.

11:59 Adam Our callers are so goddamn stupid, though. It's like, what porn magazine?

12:03 Drew Uh, you know.

12:06 Adam You can't even spit out hustler jugs, you know, just to keep it moving? Biggins. Bogus, you like Biggins?

12:12 Guest I don't know. I just remember the time from my favorite children. Really? Wasn't that? Biggins?

12:16 Guest Married with Children.

12:18 Adam Oh, there was a porn? Yeah, I know the movie. I mean, I know the show.

12:20 Guest Out Blondie, Biggins.

12:22 Adam Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know that was his magazine. I know that one.

12:24 Guest I got it.

12:27 Adam Oh, boy. What name is that?

12:29 Drew Nollani.

12:29 Adam Nollani?

12:30 Guest Yes.

12:31 Adam Year 25?

12:32 Uh-huh.

12:33 Adam You Hawaiian?

12:34 Guest Actually, yeah. I'm calling from Hawaii.

12:38 Yeah.

12:38 Drew Where at? What's going on?

12:40 Adam Well... Let me jump in here for a second with some of these places like Hawaii, which is now I hear part of the United States. Either you guys stop calling it Hawaii or we start calling it Hawaii. But let's start agreeing on what we're going to call it. Because it's nothing worse than you go, hey, call from Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii.

12:58 Drew Hawaii.

12:59 Adam Should we? Let's just agree on. Let's just call it Hawaii. All right. So are you calling from Hawaii? Really?

13:05 Guest Yes.

13:06 Adam How's that work?

13:07 Drew We have two stations.

13:08 Adam Oh, we do.

13:08 Guest It's actually like eight o'clock at night here.

13:11 Adam I see.

13:11 Drew So what's going on?

13:13 Adam I got to do one in person.

13:14 Drew Honolulu and Maui.

13:15 Guest But my main question...

13:16 Drew Where are you, Noelani?

13:17 Guest I'm in Honolulu.

13:18 Drew Honolulu, yeah.

13:19 Guest Yeah.

13:19 Adam What's up?

13:21 Guest My main question is, I got married a couple of years ago and my sex drive is like 20 times higher than my husband's. And I don't know what to do about that.

13:32 Drew Has it always been that way or has it just been since you've been married?

13:36 Guest Just in the past two years, I think.

13:38 Adam Well, I mean, you got to give the guy a break. He's tired from spinning those fire torches all day and playing that big drum and dancing in that little skirt on the beach and paddling the canoe. I mean, the guy's put in...

13:49 Guest In a hotel, doing maintenance.

13:51 Drew Oh, okay.

13:52 Adam With the fire torch? No. Oh, I see. So he's not one of those guys.

13:57 Drew 20 times.

13:57 Guest Not one of those guys.

13:58 Drew What is it that you want as opposed to what he wants? How many times a week would he like to do this?

14:02 Guest I think he likes to do it like once a month.

14:04 Drew Once a month.

14:06 Guest And I'm more like twice a week.

14:08 Drew Twice a week. Twice a week, by the way, is normal.

14:10 Guest Yeah.

14:11 Adam Yeah. And only two years into the marriage, huh?

14:14 Guest Well, no. Like, I'm been married for four years.

14:17 Caller Oh.

14:18 Guest But in the past two years, I.

14:20 Drew Is he on a medication?

14:22 Guest No.

14:22 Adam Have you guys, have you been together for ten years or something?

14:28 Guest Yeah.

14:29 Adam You have?

14:29 Guest Not ten. Like five.

14:31 Drew A long time. Anything going on with him, his life or medically, anything?

14:37 Guest No, nothing at all. He's perfectly healthy.

14:39 Adam Yeah. And it just.

14:41 Guest I just got his sperm count back. He has 232 million sperms per mil.

14:51 Adam I don't want to brag, but I'm 235. That's just me. What are you, 228?

14:57 Guest 267.

14:58 Adam I see.

15:01 Drew Do you talk with him about this?

15:04 Guest No.

15:04 Guest Maybe I just nag him.

15:06 Adam Yeah. Why do you have his sperm tallied up?

15:09 Guest Oh, well, because I want to get pregnant.

15:11 Adam I see. You know, maybe he doesn't want to get you pregnant.

15:15 Guest Yeah. That crossed my mind.

15:17 Adam Does he not want to have kids as much as you do?

15:20 Guest He's not as enthusiastic, but.

15:23 Adam You know, I see. You know, think about it this way. If a guy doesn't want to start a family and a girl does want to start a family and the way you start a family is by having sex, this is maybe not be the number one reason. Yeah. He takes his ding-a-ling and he puts it in her ho-ho. You know, then he moves and then pow, that cream filling comes out of there.

15:44 Drew For most guys, it's still be hard to avoid sex even with that.

15:47 Adam No, but I just mean if she's bugging on him to start a family and he's kind of freaked out by that, then he may be just kind of closing down, not even intentionally.

15:56 Drew But once a month?

15:58 Guest He may be beating it.

15:59 Drew He might be at the hotel doing something else.

16:01 Adam Oh, servicing more than the coke machine over there. Maybe one of the maids. Drew, you're a very passionate man.

16:08 Drew Yeah, right.

16:08 Adam Passionate, passionate man. So I know you can't understand once a month.

16:12 Drew That's right.

16:12 Adam Well, wait a minute.

16:13 Drew And Adam, you when you see nipple play, possibly.

16:17 Adam Yes, I have sensitive nipples. I'm not ashamed of that. Nolani? Yes? You don't think he's got anything going on the side, do you?

16:28 Guest I don't think so.

16:29 Adam Well, let me say this, too. I think when guys have something going on the side, they kick it up a little so as not to arouse any suspicion.

16:37 Drew That's statistically is actually the case.

16:38 Adam It is? Okay.

16:40 Guest So that's your theory that he's got something going on the side? No.

16:42 Drew It's not a theory.

16:43 Adam No. I think he's more freaked out by the family.

16:45 Drew The pregnancy thing.

16:47 Guest Oh, you think so?

16:48 Adam Yeah. Are you guys using protection when you have sex?

16:50 Guest No.

16:51 Adam Yeah.

16:52 Drew So does he ask to? Does he want you to or does he want?

16:55 Guest All right.

16:56 Adam So tell him, do you guys use diaphragms or just half a coconut up there? What do you use over there?

17:02 Guest We use nothing.

17:04 Adam You use nothing?

17:05 Guest All right.

17:06 Adam Maybe you should use something.

17:08 Guest Maybe throw some knee pads, like elbow pads, helmet. That's what we use.

17:11 Guest Yeah.

17:12 Adam I mean, how about a little oral sex? I think Ryan is, I think he's asking. Until he got to the helmet part, I got confused there. Why don't you talk to him? Why don't you ask him if he's freaked out about the family?

17:23 Drew I'm a little surprised you haven't talked to him. Two years this has been going on, you haven't had a discussion about this.

17:28 Adam Yeah.

17:28 Drew That's not good. This serves me almost more than anything. That you have this major imbalance in your connection physically and you haven't brought that up with it. I wouldn't bring it up in the bedroom, bring it up at some quiet moment.

17:39 Adam Yeah, when you guys are screwing in the hall.

17:41 Drew Yeah.

17:43 Adam Do you eat a lot of spam? I see.

17:45 Guest I just had spam for dinner.

17:47 Adam Yeah. The Hawaiians, they like the spam. What? They like spam over there. Seriously? Yes. That's how I know they're crazy. They like spam. We ship all our spam.

17:57 Guest Here, take it.

17:58 Adam Good luck.

17:59 Guest Wow.

18:00 Adam He ate spam for dinner.

18:01 Guest That's my, that leads me to my other question.

18:03 Adam Hold on a second. You eat spam when you're camping. Maybe. Maybe. Like that's on like the 18th night you've been out in the woods. All right. Break the spam out. You eat spam for dinner? It's good. How do you prepare that spam? You just fry it up.

18:18 Guest It's good.

18:21 Adam You are horny, baby. All right. That's enough. We spent too much time on you.

18:26 Guest Oh, well, I just have one other question. All right. Why is it that we listen to your show like a month after you've broadcast?

18:33 Adam I have no idea.

18:33 Drew A month. Maybe it's a month after.

18:36 Guest Yeah.

18:36 Adam Oh, we ship.

18:38 Guest The show last night was before the election.

18:41 Adam Oh, it was?

18:41 Guest Yeah.

18:42 Adam All right. Well, you got some good ones coming up.

18:44 Drew David Algar. Way to hear that one.

18:46 Adam I talk about...

18:47 Drew The same clown posse.

18:48 Adam Talk a lot about my ass in November.

18:50 Drew Oh, yeah. Yeah, you do.

18:52 Adam You got that to look forward to.

18:53 Okay.

18:54 Adam What do you serve with that spam?

18:56 Rice.

18:57 Drew More spam.

18:57 Adam Just more spam and rice.

18:59 Yeah.

18:59 Adam All right. This is a big guy. That's why their calves are so big over there, you know? Did your husband have big calves?

19:06 Guest Um, no.

19:07 Adam Okay. All right. Well, that's the end of my stereo typing rant. Can you believe this guy? They eat spam over there every meal. Did you guys know that?

19:14 Guest I've never had spam in my life.

19:15 Drew It's good.

19:16 Adam No, you don't have. You eat spam when you have to eat spam.

19:20 Drew It's like a ration.

19:21 Adam Yeah, it's ration.

19:21 Guest It seems like one of those things you find in the motor home, like in one of those cupboards, like just trying to clean things out and you find a couple.

19:27 Adam Yeah, you eat spam.

19:29 Guest It's dog food.

19:30 Adam Like a drift at sea and stoned.

19:33 Yeah, that's right.

19:35 Adam Geoff's from the UK and he's making fun of spam. And over there, they eat everything.

19:39 Guest Oh, yeah.

19:40 Adam They boil brains and eat. You know, that's delicious. But they were brain spam.

19:45 Guest What's that?

19:45 Drew Well, you don't waste any part of the animal.

19:47 Adam Over there, right?

19:48 Guest There's a lot of fat people over there.

19:49 Drew That's not the point.

19:50 Adam I know.

19:51 Guest That is the point.

19:52 Adam You eat brains and eyeballs. Pancreas. Oh, it's delicious. For breakfast. Yeah.

19:57 Guest I've never eaten any of that kind.

19:58 Adam You don't eat any brains or anything? Good. Well, you're over here now. That's right. Nathan? You're 16. What's up?

20:05 Caller Hey, first of all, I just want to tell you, I think you're really awesome. And I think you and your porn collection are right up there with my brothers.

20:11 Adam Well, thank you. Whatever.

20:15 Caller You're pretty cool, too. You're a smart guy.

20:19 Drew Very enthusiastic.

20:20 Caller So I'm calling you guys up. Earlier today, me and my girlfriend were having sex and I wanted to try it without a condom. And so, you know, I didn't want to come inside here. So, you know, I wiped out a little pre come off and then I stuck it in maybe two or three times, went in and out, and then I decided not to. And I pulled it out and, you know, I like squeezed the shaft a little bit and a little bit of a little clear stuff, you know, came out.

20:44 Drew And it's the pre come again. Yeah.

20:46 Caller And I just wanted to know what the chances are of her getting pregnant.

20:50 Drew Well, there is a chance. She's pregnant. No, not necessarily, but there's certainly a chance. Well, why not get the morning after pill going here?

20:59 Caller We've done that one time when I thought the condom might have broke.

21:01 Drew Well, maybe this is another chance to do that. I'm glad you've done that. We can command you highly in having done that.

21:06 Caller Yeah, like, I mean, I don't think anything even came out. I don't think anything really came out while I was inside or it was your most famous.

21:13 Guest Well, you could see it while it was inside her. Yeah.

21:16 Caller What's that?

21:17 Adam Junk cam. He had it on the big screen. I'd like that.

21:21 Drew The penis cam?

21:22 Adam Yeah. Nathan's a real classy guy. He pulled it out, he took the stuffed animal, he wiped the head down pretty good, and then he put it back in for a couple tries. Nathan, you don't have as much control over your penis as you think you do.

21:33 Drew You already had pre-cum sitting there.

21:36 Adam Right, right. You're a leaker.

21:38 Drew And you reintroduced that back into her vagina.

21:41 Caller No, like what I did was...

21:42 Drew You can't wipe that off.

21:43 Caller No, after I wiped it off...

21:45 Drew You can't wipe it off. Oh, you put a condom on it.

21:47 Caller I wiped it off and then I just wanted to try it, and I wiped it off first because, you know, during the foreplay a little bit gets out there. Yeah. So I wiped it off and then I went in a couple of times.

21:55 Drew Yeah, that's it. Done. That's it. That's already done.

21:59 Adam Well, not necessarily, but possibly.

22:01 Drew That's it.

22:02 Guest That's safe and sorry.

22:03 Drew But the point is the semen is then introduced into the vagina. That's it.

22:06 Adam OK, but let me ask you this, Drew. I know we always err on the side of caution.

22:12 Drew Yeah.

22:12 Adam And why not? Yes, we're not going down to the planned parenthood and getting in line and all that. And we're just covering our asses.

22:18 Drew Worse yet, we're covering his ass.

22:21 Adam Right. But he may not. He should have covered his penis. But the point is, is he, he, he has problem right there. How many? OK, you have what, what comes out in a normal round of sex, you know, teaspoon or something like that?

22:35 Drew Yes.

22:36 Adam I don't like the idea that they measure it by the teaspoon because it implies someone's going to eat it later. Yeah.

22:42 Drew And most of that comes back out. Most of that flows back out.

22:45 Guest A full teaspoon.

22:48 Drew Most of it comes back out.

22:49 Guest Right.

22:49 Adam But here's what I'm saying.

22:51 Drew It repeats.

22:52 Guest OK.

22:52 Adam Let me ask you this, though, Drew. And you probably can't answer this because you're not as smart as people think you are. But if you have a full teaspoon, right?

23:00 Guest Yeah.

23:00 Adam And then let's say you just had a little of that pre-something. And that was just a drop. And it'd take 50 drops to make that. Is it 50 times less?

23:11 Guest No.

23:11 Adam You know what I'm saying? And why isn't it if it's 50 times less the volume? You know what I mean?

23:16 Drew Right.

23:17 Adam I know it only takes one.

23:19 Drew Let's put it this way. It's a race up the canyon there, right?

23:23 Adam Right.

23:24 Drew And the ones that get to the egg are the ones that get there first. Right. But a small amount will still release a bunch into the racetrack.

23:32 Guest Right.

23:33 Drew And eventually those will get there too. It just won't be as competitive.

23:36 Guest Right.

23:37 Adam Okay. So it's less, but there's still a chance and that's why you should get the morning after, right?

23:42 Drew Yep.

23:43 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break, talk a little skating, a little riding tonight. The Invert 2000 is coming up the Anaheim Convention Center this weekend. And when we come back, we'll speak to Nathan. He's six. No, no, no. We just talked to Nathan. We're going to talk to Jason. Jason is 23, wants to have anal sex with his wife. She doesn't want to have it and wants to know what to do. Sounds beautiful. Thank God we have skateboarders to talk to him about this problem after this. Hey, it's Loveline, I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew making very rare personal appearance here in Loveline's studio. Good to see you, Drew. Let's just, let's not argue, let's enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts. Enjoy Drew's presence, everybody. He's like St. Nick. He rolls in here once a year, except for his time. And then he rolls out to make more money. I'd like a little taste of that money you're making on the road, Drew.

24:37 Drew Well, if somebody would hire you.

24:38 Adam I feel like I'm doing some extra dancing in here. Do you understand? Like I'm picking up some of the slack.

24:43 Drew Please.

24:44 Adam All right. Well, let's just say I want to travel when you're traveling. Fine. Fine? Who's going to do the show?

24:50 Drew You can. We can call from different locations.

24:52 Adam Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Weatherly go right for that. You've been in Kentucky, I've been in New York.

24:58 Drew You've had several trips.

25:01 Adam Every week, twice a week.

25:02 Drew No, I've done five.

25:04 Adam Uh-huh.

25:05 Guest Uh-huh.

25:08 Adam All right. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That again is Dr. Drew, like I said, enjoying while he's here. Invert 2000 Anaheim Convention Center, November 17th through the 19th. I got some information here. Let's see. $60,000 worth of prize money. That's going to go to Scrodal Reconstruction for the skateboarder that wins. Pro Skate and BMX Contest. Geoff Rowley is here. Ryan Nyquist and Kareem Campbell are all here. Two skaters and then there's Ryan, who's the BMX guy.

25:40 Guest That's BMX.

25:41 Adam Now, the BMX, are you going to be doing the half pipe on the BMX too as well?

25:47 Guest Yeah, it's half pipe and dirt jump.

25:49 Adam We used to call them whoopty-doos and berms. They still have berms?

25:54 Guest Yeah, they got two of them out there.

25:56 Adam Two berms?

25:57 Guest Two berms, actually.

25:59 Adam Yeah, what else do we have? Alright, I can't think of anything else. Are you ready to go here, Drew? Yeah. Jason?

26:05 Yes.

26:06 Adam You're 23.

26:07 Caller Hey Adam, hey Drew, how are you guys doing?

26:09 Guest Good.

26:09 Caller Good, man, I just want to say David Alan Greer last night was probably the funniest radio I've ever heard.

26:15 Adam Yeah, he's real funny.

26:16 Anything can cause addiction, Adam, did you know that?

26:21 Guest Okay.

26:23 Adam Yeah, he's crazy. I mean, listen, his psychotic condition is your comedy, everybody. Enjoy it while you can.

26:31 Caller Hey, how about that skee-dee-ski little diddy you did last night?

26:34 Adam Yeah.

26:35 Like a little plop here, a little skeet there, skee-dee-skeet-skeet-skeet everywhere. Everybody, everybody skee-dee-skeet. That's how you do your three-some with me.

26:44 Caller Oh, man.

26:45 Adam Yeah, he's crazy. And in person, it's even weirder because he's very animate. His face moves a lot. Yeah, he's definitely tortured. What's up, Jason?

26:56 Caller Well, I've been married about three months now with my beautiful wife. Known each other for about a year and a half. And I've been thinking about other things since we've been getting together, or making love. And I've been trying to get her to buy a house together.

27:14 Adam I think so. My feelings are rampant.

27:16 Drew Oh, I see.

27:17 Yeah.

27:19 Adam Oh, yeah.

27:20 Caller And I was thinking, you know, about anal sex. And I bring it up a lot more often than not, it seems like now. Yeah. And she really doesn't want to stray from the missionary position.

27:31 Drew Oh, wait, is it straight from the missionary position? Or, hey, that would hurt like hell. I'm not interested.

27:37 Guest You got to just stick it in there.

27:39 Adam Yeah.

27:39 Guest You got to just wrap it in.

27:41 Adam You do what Geoff does. He gets on a skateboard, he gets his penis out. He gets a little head of steam going and pow.

27:46 Guest Full spin it goes.

27:48 Drew Why do you want to do that, Jason? Why is it so important to you? Your wife said it's painful to her.

27:55 Adam All right, but listen, Jason, what's going on in the background there? You have a TV or radio or something?

28:00 Caller Um, yeah, maybe the radio.

28:02 Adam Whatever it is, turn it down, please.

28:05 Caller I'd say number one is curiosity.

28:07 Adam Listen, here's the deal. You know, going from doggy or wheelbarrow to anal, that's that I can see. You know, I mean, that's a bridgeable gap. Going from missionary to anal, that's the Grand Canyon. You couldn't make it over that. Do you know what I'm saying?

28:23 Drew Work to the next position.

28:24 Adam Yes, start working her in...

28:26 Guest You're gonna scatter off going like that.

28:27 Adam Yeah, work her in to her getting on top, work that in to...

28:31 Guest Get the right angles down in that.

28:32 Caller Well, is that deviant behavior on my part? You know?

28:35 Drew I wonder where the impulse is coming from, that it's so important to you.

28:38 Caller Well, I mean, I've seen it in magazines and...

28:42 Adam Sure.

28:42 Caller Basically, you know, got into my mind through that way and...

28:46 Adam People are taking a leak on each other in magazines, too.

28:49 Caller Well, that doesn't appeal to me.

28:51 Drew Right. So what is it that's so important about this act?

28:54 Caller I think it's that...

28:56 Guest You just want to give it a go, right?

28:57 Drew Yeah, but again, there are lots of other things in the magazines that can be explained, too.

29:01 Adam Well, listen, let's... The man... You know, the man has a dream.

29:05 Guest I say we do this. Let the girl put the strap on on, and then just take turns on each other, you know?

29:10 Adam That is not a... It's not reasonable.

29:13 Caller It really isn't.

29:14 Guest That's not what he asked for.

29:15 Adam Hey, Jason, Jason, here's my humble advice.

29:18 Caller All right?

29:19 Adam You need to work her into a doggie position first, before you...

29:23 Caller We've been there. We've been there.

29:24 Adam You've been there.

29:24 Guest All right.

29:25 Caller And I've gone to poke her, and it's like, you know, it'll...

29:29 Guest Which finger? Turn out the whole mood.

29:31 Drew But it hurts her.

29:32 Caller Yes, it hurts.

29:33 Drew It hurts.

29:34 Adam It hurts. All right, Drew, are you getting it in the ass? How do you know so much?

29:38 Drew Working with you every goddamn night, it feels like.

29:39 Adam How do you know so much about what it feels like to be raped painfully? How do you know? Why are you such an expert?

29:45 Drew I'm just suspicious that it's something that she finds very painful and unpleasant and he's still pushing on it. And my question is, why that? Why is that behavior so important?

29:53 Adam Well, because there's two things a guy wants to do. One is he wants to check it off his list. Guys have a list. Exactly. They have the threesome. They have watching the lesbians get it on. They have the anal sex. They have, you know, they have the list that they want to check off.

30:09 Guest Public place.

30:10 Adam Right, public place. The whole thing, right? And then, and then, also, there's a, you know, alpha male thing going here. You know who's in charge.

30:21 Drew I mean, his thing is, his deal is, well, she's just so uptight and not into it. She's only into the missionary. That's BS. That's not true. I don't want to hurt her. Hey, listen, it's BS. You've had multiple positions, public places. Now this is one thing that hurts her she doesn't want to do. And now she's like uptight. Cornhorn.

30:39 Adam Yeah. Hey, Jason, I hate to agree with Drew, but I kind of do. She's not uptight. She doesn't want the anal sex, right?

30:46 Caller Exactly. She doesn't want it.

30:48 Adam Okay. Well, listen, if you get a woman to do something she doesn't want to do.

30:53 Drew You will live to regret it.

30:55 Adam You will enjoy the five minutes that you get to have your penis in her ass and then you will pay for the next 50 years. That is it. And women have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to bad things that their husband has done. When it comes to stuff that the mechanic told them was wrong with the car, that they don't know.

31:14 Drew Can't remember.

31:15 Adam Yeah. Five minutes later, what's wrong with the... The alterator said it needed anema or something.

31:21 Guest I don't know what he said.

31:23 Adam I can't remember. You say one smart ass comment on the ride home from some party when you got a few beers in you six years ago. They'll tell you what's two streets you were in between when you were on a freeway going seventy and when you said it and it gave you the exact wording. How can women have that kind of memory? Women tell me stuff I said to them all the time I don't even remember saying.

31:47 Drew Survive.

31:47 Adam Yeah.

31:48 Guest I have those problems severely.

31:50 Adam Do you?

31:50 Guest Yeah.

31:51 Drew That's part of it.

31:51 Guest Apparently I can't remember.

31:53 Drew Yeah. It's not like these words are sitting in front of me.

31:55 Adam I'm so excited about that.

31:57 Guest I apologize for that one. It's not my fault.

31:59 Drew That's the part though.

32:00 Guest It's okay. All right.

32:02 Adam So don't just leave her alone if she doesn't want it. Angel?

32:06 Yeah.

32:07 Adam You're seventeen. All right. What's your problem?

32:11 Well, I was molested when I was six years old for about I would say three years by two different people.

32:20 Drew Who were they?

32:21 Huh?

32:21 Drew Who were they?

32:23 One of them was my dad's really good friend. And one of them was my mom's best friend's son.

32:31 Adam So you're folks really know how to pick their friends, huh?

32:34 Oh, yeah.

32:35 Adam Yeah, they sound like dynamite folks. Well, they spend some time with us too.

32:40 Yeah.

32:40 Adam So, so. And then what?

32:44 Well, my mom's best friend's son, he made me perform oral sex on him.

32:52 Adam And how old was he?

32:54 He was 17, 18.

32:57 Drew And you were?

32:59 Six.

33:00 Adam Yeah.

33:00 Guest Oh, my God.

33:01 Yeah. And he he was a total drug addict. He was on cocaine, whatever he could get his hands on.

33:09 Adam Right.

33:10 And he probably didn't even remember it. And sometimes I can't even remember it. I just get these flashes. What's the question? Anyway, I was every time I get intimate with a guy and he wants oral sex, I completely freak out. I can't I can't handle it.

33:27 Drew Are you able to to engage in other activities? I mean, can you have sex with a guy and not freak out? Yeah. That's kind of extraordinary by itself.

33:35 Adam Well, that's not.

33:36 Drew No, it's extraordinary that she can have intimate relationships.

33:38 Adam She said she can have sex and says she has intimate relationships. Can you have a good relationship with a guy?

33:45 I've never been able to have a good relationship with a guy.

33:47 Drew That's more like it.

33:48 Adam All right. So, I mean, these are pretty pretty heavy things that happen to you. I understand why you have this aversion to oral sex. We couldn't be friends. I hope you know that. But be that as it may, you need to get some help for this problem, right?

34:04 Drew I mean, severely traumatized.

34:06 Adam You were abused and you got to get some counseling and work it out. It's not a death sentence. You're 17 years old. I mean, you can listen. I don't want to get too preachy, but I got to get preachy here for a second. You know, when you're 16, 17, 18 years old, if someone told you, you'd have your head on straight, you'd be doing well and you'd have it together by 25. You'd say that's way too long. I can't wait that long. But man, it comes up on you pretty quick. I'm telling you, and if you got your ass together by 25, you got the world by the nads, you really do. And she's 17, she's already asking questions, she has some insight, she understands what went on. A little counseling, a little therapy, take it slow, work it out, she'll be fine. It's not a death sentence. What? I like oral sex though, I was just thinking about that. Yes, I do, do you guys show hands? You like the oral sex? Not only do I like the sensation of the oral sex, I like the idea behind it. You know what I mean? I like the notion of oral sex. I like to look down and go, yes, finally. Thank God. Look at me. I need a mirror so I can look at myself. I can give myself a big thumbs up. You ever do that, Drew? You guys ever do that? You're having sex? Waving the mirror. In a position where the gal can't see it, give yourself a little thumbs up.

35:25 Guest I've never seen a mirror set up.

35:26 Adam A little wink. Oh, yeah, you got to get that mirror thing. It's good. Yeah, it's like, you're in a porn movie. It's great. You're starring in a porn movie. You go, wait, why's that porn dude got a small dick? What's up? Oh, wait a minute, that's me. This is great. Drew, you ever do that at the mirror?

35:42 Drew No, I can't say I have.

35:43 Adam Really?

35:44 Drew No. That's funny. It's funny that I've not done weird stuff in a mirror.

35:48 Adam It's funny because you're lying. You are a passionate, passionate, passionate man.

35:55 Drew Because of that, I'm involved in the moment. I'm not waving at mirrors.

36:00 Adam For me, it's like a ticker tape parade.

36:03 Drew Yeah, I know. I know.

36:05 Adam The Yankees won the World Series. I'm sitting in the back of a Buick. I got my hand up in the air. There's veterans who are sitting with their hand over their heart or saluting as I go by. There's kids sweeping up behind me with a mop.

36:19 Drew Something about the whole idea of oral sex includes that kind of grandiosity.

36:23 Adam Yeah, it's great.

36:24 Guest Yeah, I love it.

36:25 Guest All right, good.

36:27 Adam We'll take ourselves a little break. When we come back, we'll come back.

36:32 Drew Hello?

36:33 Caller Is this Loveline? Call 1-800-LOVE.

36:46 Adam Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, Dr. Drew, over there. Drew, your good friend, Lisa.

36:54 Drew Gibbons.

36:55 Adam Gibbons is going to be on Sunday, right?

36:57 Drew Right.

36:58 Adam Dynamite Lady. Are you friends with her?

37:00 Drew Yeah.

37:00 Adam You are?

37:01 Drew Kind of, yeah.

37:02 Adam Really? Why?

37:04 Drew I don't know. I admire her. No, we just work on some of the same stuff. You do?

37:08 Adam What are you working on?

37:09 Drew We're now working on Extra.

37:11 Adam She's working on Extra?

37:12 Drew She sort of runs the whole thing now in Extra.

37:14 Adam She's a little bit nutty, right?

37:16 Drew Not that you can see. I mean, she's smart and nice.

37:19 Adam I know. I hate it.

37:20 Drew Yeah.

37:20 Adam I hate it when people, I want to be nuts or nice to me. But I do have to ask her about the thousands of pictures of her in the Lisa backstage area.

37:30 Drew That's fine.

37:30 Adam I have to get to that. Have you been there in a while?

37:33 Drew That's over. I think her show is over.

37:34 Adam You don't do a show anymore?

37:35 Guest All right.

37:36 Adam Does she have all those pictures up at Extra?

37:37 Drew Not at all.

37:37 Adam She put them up in her car?

37:38 Guest No.

37:39 Drew No. The car is papered with them.

37:43 Adam We're talking about Invert 2000, Anaheim Convention Center, coming up tomorrow, right? Friday and Saturday and Sunday, right? All the way through the weekend, skateboarding, BMX, a contest, giveaway, certain death and injury. Jeff Ryan and Kareem are all here. It will be a spectacle. And how much air? Who gets more air out of the half-pipe? The skateboarders or the BMX guys?

38:14 Guest I don't know. Skateboards get up there.

38:15 Guest Depends what, ramp?

38:17 Adam It depends on the ramp?

38:18 Guest Bikes can, I think, generate speed faster, just because of the radius of the wheels and everything.

38:22 Adam Right. But the skateboarders are lighter. And the skateboards get a little more height, right?

38:26 Guest Yeah.

38:27 Guest It just depends, I guess, on the ramp, really. I mean...

38:30 Caller Matt Hoffman has accomplished a lot.

38:31 Guest He's done, yeah.

38:32 Guest They both go pretty high, you know, almost the same.

38:34 Guest Hoffman's gone. I think he's 21-foot air on a 20-foot quarter pipe.

38:38 Adam 21 feet of air. And, oh, man.

38:40 Guest I think that's the record.

38:41 Adam I'll tell you, people throw around numbers pretty loosely. But 21 feet is a two-story building.

38:47 Drew This is like what?

38:48 Guest Well, that's out on the top of a 12-foot, 20-foot ramp as well.

38:51 Adam Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter. Whatever he is over that lip, that's... I don't care if it's a 150-foot ramp. As long as... Whatever he is over that lip, that's what I'm counting. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, well, why are we speculating on the height of the ceiling in the studio that no one can see?

39:05 Drew I'm just curious.

39:07 Adam Yeah, it's close. Yeah, this is about 10 feet in here. The point is a two-story... Just stand outside a two-story building, look at the roof. That's pretty good air.

39:15 Guest Yeah.

39:15 Guest All right.

39:17 Adam I would only get 16, 17 feet back in the day. I never got to one. I never claimed to.

39:21 Guest With your X up, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

39:23 Adam With the pancake.

39:25 Guest Cross up. Yeah.

39:26 Adam Cross up. Yeah. Go down. Just like that.

39:29 Guest Real quick slow motion shot.

39:31 Guest Real quick. Yeah.

39:32 Adam Yeah. That was my maneuver. My other trick I used to do is where... And actually most of my real tricky stuff took place after the landing when I would lose control of the bike and go sort of skidding into something. Jeff. I mean, I'm sorry, Chris.

39:50 Yeah.

39:51 Adam Year 16. What's up?

39:52 I wanted to ask a question to Jeff.

39:55 Adam There you go.

39:55 Guest Oh dear.

39:56 Caller All right. What was the toughest trick that you've done in your whole pro career?

40:02 Guest I don't know.

40:03 Adam You don't have one?

40:04 Guest What kind of skating are we talking about? Like just anything?

40:07 Caller Just anything.

40:08 Guest As what? Technically or like scary or I mean, there's a lot of different different aspects.

40:13 Guest Like something that go down in like the record books.

40:15 Guest Oh, I don't know. That's up to everyone else.

40:17 Guest I don't know.

40:17 Guest How about some of the stuff like the last year? There's been like the scariest stuff I've done.

40:23 Guest I saw them. I saw them. What did you do? Like a backflip to kickflip to Benihana?

40:27 Guest Yeah, on the video game.

40:28 Adam Yeah.

40:28 Guest Oh my bad.

40:31 Drew I say the grind at the sports arena, the Coliseum, I'm sorry.

40:37 Adam What's a Benihana?

40:38 Guest Oh, that's disgusting. You don't want to do that.

40:40 Guest You don't want to do that?

40:41 Adam No.

40:42 Guest No. It looks like you're doing a big Kung-Fu kick with your board, like stuck right at your crack, basically. Oh, really?

40:48 Adam I can never figure out how the board stays on your feet.

40:51 Guest Definition of bad style.

40:52 Adam Hey, did those...

40:54 Guest All right.

40:54 Adam Hey, Chris.

40:55 Guest Yeah.

40:55 Adam Thanks.

40:56 Guest All right.

40:57 Adam I never... Remember those finger skateboards people were screwing with a year ago?

41:02 Drew They still...

41:02 Adam Are they still messing with that?

41:04 Guest Those things are going off.

41:05 Drew The little kids are.

41:06 Adam What's up with that?

41:07 Drew Little kids.

41:08 Adam Come on.

41:08 Guest It's a little bit of peace to hang on to, you know, when they're at school, you know, they want to skate.

41:11 Drew Same thing as hot wheels cruising.

41:13 Guest They got action figures now, too.

41:15 Adam Yeah, but who cares how good someone is with the finger thing, you know?

41:19 Guest No, definitely who cares, but it's still, you know, it's a little toy for kids to mess around with. They're cool, you know, little novelty.

41:24 Guest You know what's right, though? They got the same thing with bikes, and I play with them a little bit, and it's seriously, I mean, you can do stuff on the bike and just kind of see how it would work in a way.

41:32 Adam Yeah, I know.

41:33 Caller I mean, I could grab a model airplane and pretend to do a loop, but it's not going to help me.

41:38 Guest No, it's the mentality when you're thinking in your head, you know?

41:41 Adam Well, if you ride, for you doing it, it's like you're rehearsing or working something out. Maybe the pancake that I mastered in 1977.

41:49 Guest I still can't picture that. That's so crazy.

41:51 Adam You have to visualize. They called me the ninja when I rode because of my vision. Understand, Drew?

41:56 Drew You sure that's why?

42:01 Adam Philip?

42:01 Yeah.

42:02 Adam You're 17. What's up?

42:04 Caller Nothing much. Like around last year, around like October, I started seeing this 27-year-old woman.

42:12 Drew And you're how old?

42:13 Caller 17.

42:14 Drew You were 17 at the time?

42:15 Caller I was 16 at the time.

42:16 Drew She was 27.

42:18 Caller Yeah.

42:18 Adam She must have been some piece of work.

42:20 Caller Wow.

42:22 Adam She recently divorced or something?

42:24 Caller Yeah, like I moved in, like all within a year and everything.

42:28 Drew You moved in with her?

42:29 Caller Yeah, with her.

42:30 Drew How'd your parents feel about that?

42:32 Caller Well, they were, my mom was the big reason why I came home because she really wanted me to come home, you know?

42:39 Drew Yeah.

42:39 Caller And like about a year into the relationship is when it all ended, but...

42:46 Adam Tell your stone friends to shut up back there.

42:49 Caller Okay, sorry. But yeah, like it was over within a year and I still talk to her sometimes, but she seems like she really wants to get back together and like I've wanted to just be friends with her. She's told me that...

43:05 Guest Don't use rule, man!

43:06 Caller Shut up! See, I told him to shut up, but... Yeah.

43:10 Drew Thanks, thanks.

43:11 Adam Give him like a ball of foil or something he can play with.

43:14 Drew Just some strength.

43:15 Caller Some quark in the air. Okay.

43:18 Adam Hey, Philip? Yeah. She's got serious problems if she's looking to get back together with a 17-year-old at age 29.

43:24 Caller Okay.

43:24 Adam Right?

43:25 Caller Yeah.

43:26 Adam She had what? An abusive husband?

43:28 Caller No, I don't know.

43:29 Adam He was a jerk. He had to be a jerk.

43:31 Caller Yeah.

43:32 Adam This is what happens. All right, listen, Philip, don't get caught up in this mess.

43:36 Caller Okay.

43:36 Adam You know she's a little nutty. She have kids?

43:38 Caller No.

43:38 Drew Oh, thank God.

43:39 Adam That's good.

43:40 Caller Yeah, like, and honestly, it did feel sort of weird because like she sort of, like honestly, it was sort of like I was like a pet or something.

43:49 Drew Yeah. That's right.

43:50 Guest Well, she didn't have you on a leash, did she?

43:52 Caller No, but like, just like, I don't know, just like as great as it is when you're getting... She bought me skateboards and all the time.

44:01 Guest Oh, good deal.

44:02 My board?

44:03 Caller No, actually, he used to chartboard, but...

44:06 Adam Oh, okay. Listen, Phil, you had a little sugar mama, you know, you gave her sex, she scored beer for you.

44:14 Caller Yeah.

44:14 Adam So your buddies could drink it, but listen, she's crazy. And this happens all the time. And this is a classic syndrome, which is a woman is in a marriage, it's a bad marriage, the guy's a little abusive, they end up getting...

44:28 Drew She's a little nutty.

44:29 Adam She's a little nutty, they end up getting a divorce, and her next guy oftentimes is a... She don't want to get married again.

44:35 Drew It's a boy toy.

44:35 Adam But she's horny. So she just gets some guys, you know, 16, 17 years old.

44:40 Drew Who ain't gonna fight back. And she's nuts, and she's miserable, and then goes around talking about how wonderful it is to have this boy toy.

44:45 Adam And she could never... See, there's no potential for real relationship here because of the age difference.

44:51 Guest Maybe one last blast and then see it all.

44:52 Drew No, I should consider it like a person, just like you saw as a pet.

44:55 Adam Yeah. Well, listen, I don't mind being... Think about it.

44:59 Drew Guys cooperate with that.

45:00 Adam I do it too. You crap where you want, they clean it up.

45:03 Guest He's a dildo.

45:04 Adam That's right. That's fine. Listen, pet's not a bad gig. Really, really think about it. Get your belly rubbed all the time.

45:15 Drew Wave yourself in the mirror.

45:16 Adam Wave yourself in the mirror? You're screwing the neighbors, dog. Sure, it's a good life. All right, we'll take a break.

45:25 Caller Back in a minute.

45:44 Adam Oh yeah, there we go. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Jeff Reilly, Ryan Nyquist, Kareem Campbell are all here tonight. Invert 2000, which is going on at the Anaheim Convention Center. All this weekend BMX, half pipes and skating and booze and demonstrations and crazy like crazy kids with like tattoos and piercings and chicks with eating disorders and it's all going to be there. Go there and score. Bring your family. Bring the family. Come on down. That's right. Witness the carnage firsthand. Say you're there. And leave room in the parking lot so the Medevac helicopter can land. That's all I'm saying. Hi, Drew. You ready to roll?

46:41 Caller Yep.

46:45 Yeah.

46:45 Adam You're 14.

46:46 Caller Yeah.

46:47 Adam What's up?

46:48 Caller I'm a big fan of Tony Hawk too with Kareem Campbell and all that kind of and Bob Burnquist and all you guys. You guys rock. Geoff Rowley.

47:00 Adam We had Tony Hawk in here three months ago. Maybe not even that long ago. He had to go on it.

47:06 Drew He had to go on it a year ago too. He was just back. Really?

47:08 Adam Yeah. He's a real ambassador for the sport. Yeah.

47:12 Caller Hey guys, want a hard strong man? Come on, right here, right now. If you don't have a credit card and still want live, uncentered man on man action, press one.

47:21 Guest Don't worry about that.

47:22 Caller At this time, experienced credit card users should enter their credit card number.

47:25 Guest That's what's known as a technical difficulty.

47:27 Adam This is great.

47:28 Guest I thought that was his dad. I kind of go, what happened?

47:31 Adam Hang in there.

47:32 Drew David?

47:33 Caller Yeah?

47:34 Drew Did you do that?

47:35 Caller No.

47:35 Adam Do it again if you did it. Come on.

47:37 Caller I didn't do that.

47:38 Adam Come on, you goofball.

47:40 Guest I seriously thought that was like his dad.

47:41 Drew Yeah, at first I thought too. I was like, what is this?

47:43 Guest That was pretty cool.

47:44 Adam Steven, do it again. Come on. Can you do that? Do it again. Come on. All right. All right. What, does he got to re-queue the tape? What did he do? Hang up? No, I didn't. All right. Well, listen, do it again. Can you do it?

47:56 Guest Yeah.

47:58 Adam Can you do it tonight?

47:59 Caller Right now.

48:00 Adam Right now? All right.

48:03 Caller Any second.

48:04 Caller Hey, guys. Want a hard strong man? Come on. Right here, right now. If you don't have a credit card and still want live, uncentered man-on-man action, press 1 now. At this time, experienced credit card users should enter their credit card number.

48:18 Caller Only experience, yeah.

48:19 Caller We now accept American Express, Discover Visa, and MasterCard. Charges of only $4.99 a minute will appear in your credit card statement as ACW. You must be over 18 to use this service. Now get ready for hot horny studs. Remember, don't.

48:35 Guest Yeah.

48:36 Adam Now, is that for the ladies or is that the gay guys?

48:40 Drew Well, ladies don't use that, right?

48:41 Adam That's right.

48:42 Drew They might, I bet.

48:43 Adam All right, Stephen. Thanks for that.

48:44 Caller No, I wanted to ask a question.

48:46 Adam All right.

48:47 Caller If you have sex with a girl and you have the condom on, and then you take the condom off after you blow your load, and-

48:55 Drew 14 here, ladies and gentlemen, 14. Go ahead, yes, Stephen.

48:58 Caller And you take a picture of her, would she get pregnant?

49:01 Guest Why would you want to pee in her, man?

49:03 Caller I don't know, I was just wondering that.

49:06 Drew You get too much time with your hands.

49:07 Adam Don't even talk to this little jack-off.

49:09 Guest Do you have hair underneath your armpit, John?

49:10 Adam No. Listen, Squirrely, I'll see you in hell. All right? I look forward to a good ass-kicking, too.

49:16 Drew Junior Corolla there.

49:18 Adam Listen, all you troublemakers, I guarantee I will see you in hell. I'll know exactly who you are and I'm going to give you a beating.

49:23 Guest You go to hell and you die!

49:27 Adam Erin?

49:27 Guest Hello.

49:28 Adam These kids are so Squirrely today, Drew. No respect for the elders. What's up, Erin?

49:34 Guest Well, my friend said that there's a new kind of herpes that can cause AIDS, and I just want to know if that's true.

49:41 Drew Not that I'm familiar with. I don't quite know what she's referring to.

49:44 Guest I have no idea, but her dad told her something, and I don't know. He tells her things to scare her sometimes.

49:50 Drew He may mean just another virus or something that's causing an AIDS-like syndrome, and there's permutations of the AIDS virus out there. So I...

49:56 Guest Yeah, because I was telling her, I didn't think that that could be right.

49:59 Drew Yeah, it doesn't say herpes causes herpes.

50:01 Adam He doesn't believe it either.

50:02 Guest Okay.

50:03 Adam He just doesn't want her to have sex.

50:05 Drew Yeah.

50:05 Adam Smart.

50:06 Guest That's pretty much what I thought.

50:07 Drew I think you should, if you really want a young lady not to have sex, particularly oral sex, just inform her that the semen carries about 4,000 calories per semen.

50:17 Adam That's right. Drew, that's going to be your wrap for your daughter, right?

50:20 Drew Oh, absolutely.

50:21 Adam That's right. That jizz is going right to your hips.

50:23 Drew Even if it's taken vaginally.

50:26 Adam It's still consumed, right?

50:28 Drew Any plane is passed.

50:29 Adam That's right. Even if it gets on your hand, that's right. You'll balloon up to 400 pounds that evening. All right. Erin? I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't tell her this because you're going to undo all dad's hard work.

50:42 Guest Oh, it doesn't matter. He isn't doing very well at keeping her from not doing that anyway.

50:47 Adam Interesting.

50:47 Drew Nice.

50:48 Adam Does he tell her that the baby Jesus cries every time she has sex and stuff like that?

50:53 Guest No, he's not that bad.

50:54 Adam I see.

50:55 Drew And what is wrong with that anyway?

50:57 Adam She's going to town, huh?

51:00 Guest I don't want to say that.

51:01 Adam Yes. Well, you already did. All right.

51:05 Drew So, Erin's friend with the crazy dad.

51:08 Adam Yeah. Has plenty of sex. All right, Erin. Okay. Thank you. Good times, Erin. Bye-bye. Yeah. I don't know. I kind of hope. Here's what I'd like to, here's what I hope. I don't have a daughter, but I'd like to see her be like fat all the way through high school and then shed those pounds off somewhere around her second or third year of college, but still be very insecure for the rest of her life.

51:32 Drew She'd be a model, right? She'll immediately be in the modeling, isn't that the story of each and every model? Right.

51:37 Adam No, they weren't fat.

51:38 Drew Well, there was something wrong with them. They were lanky, they were too good looking.

51:41 Adam They were never fat. They were always tomboy's who couldn't find a date to the prom. So yes, if she couldn't find a date to the prom, she would then be a supermodel at some point. All right. Where the hell are we? Cassie?

51:55 Guest Yeah.

51:56 Adam You're 18?

51:57 Guest What's up?

51:59 Okay. My boyfriend, he has kind of weird habits when we're having sex. He likes to choke me like when he really gets into it. I was wondering if this is something I should be worried about or?

52:09 Drew Yeah. Yeah. I'd look into it.

52:10 Is it normal or?

52:11 Drew No. No.

52:12 Adam Well, were you trying to steal a stereo or something while you're having sex or just having sex?

52:17 Drew Just reminds me of that girl we had the other night who said, yeah, my boyfriend's in jail. What's he in jail for? He was in the group of people. They pointed a gun at someone and they asked for stuff.

52:26 Adam Asked for stuff. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, she was pregnant while he was in jail.

52:33 Drew Yeah, group of people.

52:34 Adam It was another group of guys and one of the guys had a gun and they were asking people for their stuff.

52:39 Drew He pointed the gun at people.

52:41 Adam Pointed the gun at people and said, yes, can I have your stuff? And for that, they throw people in jail. What is this, Nazi Germany?

52:48 Guest Did they say please?

52:50 Adam I'm sure, yes, may I have your stuff, please?

52:51 Drew He was just with this group too. It wasn't like he was shooting at people.

52:54 Adam No, he was hanging around with the guys who get stuff from people.

52:57 Guest The gun probably wasn't even loaded.

52:59 Adam They didn't even say what direction the gun was pointing. You know what I mean? The guy could have been holding the barrel for Christ's sake. They're throwing the railroading, everyone these days in a prison. Cassie? Yeah. I can't remember what your question was, Drew. Stop doing that to me.

53:15 Drew The strangulation.

53:16 Adam Oh, yeah.

53:16 Drew Yeah, that's not normal. It's dangerous. Do you ask him what he's up to or do you ask him not to do it?

53:21 Adam She can't talk. Her airwaves are blocked.

53:26 Drew Do you ask him not to do it?

53:27 Huh?

53:28 Drew Do you ask him not to do it?

53:29 Okay.

53:30 Drew Do you ask him not to do it?

53:31 Adam Oh, I haven't.

53:32 Drew Okay. Therein is the real bizarre piece in this puzzle. Guy strangles you. You should smack him.

53:39 Adam Well, no, but let me... Let me float this. Yeah. Do you like it?

53:44 I'm not really sure.

53:46 Adam Some... Oh, so you do like it a little bit. Some chicks like it. They all deserve it. But only some like it. Cassie? Yeah? Here's what could have happened. No, Drew. You want to gamble? No, it's gonna take too long. I'm not getting any weird vibe off her. Anyone do anything weird to you?

54:02 Caller No.

54:03 Adam No physical abuse? Huh?

54:05 Caller No.

54:05 Adam Physical?

54:06 Caller No.

54:06 Adam Sexual? Mental?

54:08 Drew Abandonment.

54:09 Adam Did your dad leave the family?

54:12 Caller He's around.

54:13 Drew Yeah, but he took off.

54:14 Adam He's around where? Leavenworth? Where is he?

54:17 Drew He took off when you were six.

54:18 Guest Ten.

54:19 Drew Ten.

54:19 Adam All right. Where is he? Just around?

54:21 Guest He's like in LA County, I think.

54:23 Adam I see. You know, it's a bad sign when people look at it as a small victory, that they know what county their dad is in. You know what I mean? Like, well, he's not in the house, but he's in the greater Los Angeles area.

54:39 Guest We've tracked him down to LA County.

54:41 Adam Yeah, we've narrowed it down to about 30 square miles.

54:44 Drew This was abandonment. This is that Cassie is so not present in her relationships and so unsure of herself, so unclear about who she is, that she can't even say no when somebody tries to strangle her.

54:55 Adam All right. Well, here's my theory. Sometimes guys get a girlfriend when they're younger and that girlfriend's a little screwed up and they get into some weird ass with that girlfriend. And then their next girlfriend, they just apply the same techniques to. Do you know what I'm saying? And if the person doesn't say anything, they just assume that's the way you do it or that's what chicks like. So that may be what he's doing. She needs to pipe up. But do it before you're getting strangled.

55:22 Drew Right? And, yeah, keep something handy to whack him on if he's, if he's, do you know what I mean? Yeah. What's going to make him stop?

55:31 Adam Well, she'll cut him off sexually eventually.

55:33 Drew That'll, that'll stop.

55:34 Guest Or she'll die.

55:35 Adam Or she'll die. But that may not stop him.

55:36 Guest But then he may be in necrophilia.

55:37 Adam A lot of our listeners will keep going. Drew, if someone dies while you're having sex with them, that's okay, isn't it? I mean, that's not like you're having sex with a corpse.

55:47 Drew In the eyes of God or?

55:48 Adam Well, not intentionally. Yeah, what I mean is, like, if you're driving somewhere and the guy dies in your car and you keep going, it's not like you're transporting a corpse. The guy died halfway to the concert.

56:00 Drew If you're having sex in the eyes of God, be sure to finish. Is that what you're saying?

56:05 Adam I don't think the coroner would know, you know, if...

56:07 Drew If you finished?

56:08 Adam Yeah. Yeah, there wouldn't be a court in the land that would convict you. Alright, now when they found this stuff a week later, I'm sure some questions might arise. Julia? What is it?

56:20 Guest Julia, it's Spanish for rain.

56:22 Adam I see.

56:23 Guest Okay, hi. Yes, Julia.

56:26 Guest Alright.

56:27 Guest Okay, I have a problem. Something weird happened to me. Like two months ago, I met this guy and we were like talking to each other and then...

56:37 Drew Where did you meet him?

56:38 Guest What?

56:38 Drew Where did you meet him?

56:39 Guest Oh, I met him over the radio. He worked for a local radio station.

56:42 Drew Strike One.

56:43 Adam Yeah, radio guy? He was... Oh, yeah.

56:46 Guest And then we were like intimate, but he had like a weird, like this sexual trip and it really freaked me out. He... We were like fooling around and then he stopped and he told me, oh, take a cold shower. And then I did, I didn't think anything of it. So then when we like were about to have sex, he like put like powder all over me. And then when, you know, he got on top of me, he told me, don't move. And that totally freaked me out. I got really uncomfortable. And like I guess after like five minutes of having sex with him, I stopped because, you know.

57:20 Adam Oh, this is the necrophilia.

57:21 Guest Yeah, this guy likes daisy. That's my question.

57:24 Guest I want to know if that's what it is, because, you know, it freaked me out.

57:28 Adam You want to take the cold shower, it'd be like a cold corpse.

57:31 Guest I want it nice and clean. That's what it was.

57:33 Adam Put some talc on you.

57:35 Guest Nice and dry.

57:36 Adam Did he put pennies on your eyes?

57:38 Drew No.

57:38 Guest He told me, he just, you know, I didn't put one on one together afterwards. Then I got off and I told him to leave. And I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore.

57:46 Adam You got an orgasm?

57:48 Guest No.

57:48 Adam You got off of him?

57:49 Guest Yeah, like...

57:50 Adam Well, I said, you... Hold on.

57:51 Guest No, no...

57:52 Drew Dead person.

57:53 Guest Yeah.

57:53 Adam How are you going to get on top? You can't do that as a corpse unless you got like a... Well, I used to use a garage door opener on him. I put him in a harness. You know, I use an opener back and forth.

58:04 Guest Yeah.

58:04 Adam I mean, I could do that. Yeah.

58:06 Guest Yeah.

58:06 Guest He was on top of me and I got off, like, you know, I just ran off because I got really freaked out.

58:13 Drew Understandable.

58:14 Adam All right.

58:14 Guest All right.

58:14 Adam So what do you want to know about Count Jackula over here? Write that down, Drew. That's going to be my next porn movie.

58:23 Guest Oh, my God.

58:24 Guest So mean.

58:25 Adam So, yeah. So he took off.

58:27 Guest Yeah. And, you know, I just I was wondering if that's what it is. If he's like a necrophiliac or something.

58:32 Drew It's highly suspicious, isn't it?

58:34 Guest Right.

58:34 Drew And whatever it is, it's rather inconsiderate of you. And it's freaky. And you had a good instinct. You got out of there.

58:40 Adam And that's why you should have known better when you went out with a radio guy. You really should have seen that coming.

58:46 Caller He's much older. He's like 38.

58:48 Drew 38. You'll get radio.

58:50 Adam Seventy eight percent of people in radio are necrophiliacs.

58:53 Caller You know that?

58:55 Guest I don't know.

58:55 Adam Very true.

58:56 Guest Maybe he just likes white girls.

58:58 Adam Yeah. Are you are you're Hispanic, right?

59:00 Guest Yes.

59:01 Adam Maybe you want to be with a white chick.

59:02 Guest But I'm not that dark. Yeah.

59:04 Adam But still, you got that juvian stuff, you know, your name meaning rain.

59:10 Guest Well, I don't know. He's weird. He's like half Irish and half Italian.

59:13 Drew It could be purple rain. Oh, Italian.

59:15 Adam Half Irish and half Italian. Yeah. Half Irish and half Italian.

59:19 Drew Highest probability of necrophilia in each of them.

59:22 Adam Yeah. It's not considered a bad thing in Italy to have sex with corpses. Did you know that, Drew? Who are you to question the ways of the culture I'm from?

59:33 Drew The cultural norms. The mores of your society.

59:36 Adam That's right. I should be able to do that here. And just practicing my cultural ways. Oh, fantastic. That is lovely. All right. And by the way, this is one of those stories, Juvia, that you should not tell your next boyfriend.

59:50 Drew You know what I was thinking?

59:51 Adam You guys, don't you hate this? You're dating a girl and you get in it. You know, what's the strangest place you are? And you go, one time me and my girlfriend of five years did it when we were camping. And they're like, yeah, well, I met this weird dude on the radio and he like, you know, he dumped all this powder on me and he banged the bejesus out of me when I was freezing. You know, my nipples were all hard. You're like, OK, OK, OK, that's enough. That's enough.

1:00:17 Drew I got to go home. I'm going home. I'm going home.

1:00:19 Adam Thanks. I can picture that for the next five years.

1:00:22 Drew You know, what is kind of weird is that the guys that get into weird situations like this sort of will catalog them and women will do anything they can to forget about them. Right.

1:00:30 Adam Right. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. Women, women, women. If you talk to a normal woman who's had sex with 15 or 20 guys, 14 to 19 of them, they wish they wish they hadn't had sex.

1:00:43 Drew They're nauseated when they think about it.

1:00:45 Adam It's so funny.

1:00:46 Drew They get ill.

1:00:47 Adam It's so funny that like every girlfriend I've ever had is nauseated when my name comes up.

1:00:53 Drew Well, just you, though, of course.

1:00:54 Adam Since you date Adam, oh, what was I thinking? I swear to Christ, if you see me with a guy like that, yeah, they get the shivers. Whereas like, I'm still jacking off to them. You know what I'm saying? How does that work?

1:01:10 Drew Yeah, that's weird.

1:01:11 Adam Most, I don't know, maybe that's just a rap.

1:01:13 Guest I just don't think they know what they're missing, really.

1:01:14 Drew No, no, no, I think that's real.

1:01:16 Adam Maybe they have that rap for the new boyfriend.

1:01:19 Drew Not a rap, no, no, no.

1:01:20 Adam That repentive rap, you know what I mean? Like when they're going, I wish I hadn't slept with him.

1:01:25 Drew No, no, no.

1:01:25 Adam He was a pig.

1:01:26 Drew Juvia is going to spend her life trying to forget about this.

1:01:28 Adam All right, with this guy.

1:01:29 Drew A guy would be just like, hey, I got to share this with my friends. He's been telling the story for 99 years.

1:01:37 Adam I know. Listen, I'm thankful to every woman who's ever let me into her pants, and I don't regret one second. I really don't. But no regrets. I'll be on my deathbed. I'll feel fine about everyone who let me have sex with them. I don't look at it as me having sex with you. I look at it as you letting me have sex with you. There's a distinction there.

1:01:57 Drew In the eyes of the law.

1:01:58 Adam I know that at least seven-eighths of women I've been with have regretted it. And they're ashamed, and oh, never again, and what was I thinking?

1:02:05 Drew Shut it when they think about it.

1:02:06 Adam I must have been high, and that's the last time I'll do heroin. I've heard it all. Sabrina?

1:02:11 Caller Yeah?

1:02:12 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:02:14 Caller Okay, well, probably when I was like 14, I started to get these really bad stomach pains, and I went to doctors and doctors and doctors, and nobody said anything about it.

1:02:23 Drew Were you sexually active?

1:02:24 Caller No, and I didn't become sexually active until I was 15.

1:02:28 Oh, a year later.

1:02:29 Adam This comes from a very religious family.

1:02:31 Drew Yes. Okay.

1:02:32 Caller So, here I am, and I have these terrible pains, and I'm a hypochondriac from hell, so everybody just assumes I'm okay. So I finally go to the doctor about three months ago. I went to the emergency room, I was in foster care, and they were like, honey, you're going to the doctors. So I went to the doctors, and it turns out that's what I have.

1:02:49 Drew What?

1:02:50 Caller Public inflammatory disease.

1:02:51 Drew Well, you get that from having sex, though, typically.

1:02:54 Caller Well, yeah, well, I went to talk to the doctor, and I told him that it was impossible for me to get that from having sex, because I'd never, I mean, I had had it before I had sex, and he was just like, so you're telling me you've had this pain for this long? And I'm like, yeah, and he was like, and nobody's ever-

1:03:08 Drew You were not sexually abused as a child?

1:03:10 Caller Not that I know of.

1:03:11 Drew Do you think maybe you were?

1:03:12 Adam What got you into foster care?

1:03:13 Drew Yeah.

1:03:14 Caller Well, I met this guy, and I ran away with him, and did all this crazy stuff.

1:03:19 Drew Why'd you run away?

1:03:21 Caller Because I live with a stepdad and a mom.

1:03:24 Drew And was somebody physically abusing you, or what?

1:03:26 Caller Mostly just verbal. Basically, I was every name in the book that she could think of.

1:03:30 Drew You were not sexually abused ever?

1:03:33 Caller No, not that I know of, no.

1:03:34 Drew Because unexplained pelvic pain, sexual abuse is one of the more common causes of that.

1:03:38 Adam Well, what about the part where you ran away with the guy?

1:03:40 Caller Well, we were going to get married.

1:03:42 Drew How old were you?

1:03:43 Caller Yeah, but-

1:03:44 Drew How old were you?

1:03:45 Guest I was 15.

1:03:47 Adam You didn't have sex with the guy you ran away with to get married?

1:03:49 Drew At 15 she did. The pain started before that.

1:03:52 Caller The pain did start when I was about 14.

1:03:55 Adam I see. How old was the guy you ran away with?

1:03:58 Caller 17.

1:03:59 Adam Really?

1:04:00 Drew I think it's reasonable for you to have been treated for pelvic inflammatory disease, but I doubt that's what's been causing the pain all along. I really do.

1:04:05 Caller I mean, I have no idea what else it would be. I've been doing it since.

1:04:07 Adam Well, what about just emotional-

1:04:09 Drew Yeah, the emotional stuff.

1:04:09 Adam Coming from an abusive family?

1:04:11 Caller Hold on, hold on.

1:04:12 Adam Can we talk amongst ourselves, sir?

1:04:14 Drew Yeah. Now that we're on to the real stuff.

1:04:16 Guest Maybe she has some bad fish.

1:04:17 Adam Did I tell you I had a FMF frame with the MotoMag wheels and the red line forks? Oh, I'm sorry. Are you ready?

1:04:24 Caller Hold on. I have to get off the phone. I'm going to get in a lot of trouble.

1:04:27 Adam I see. Okay. Don't get pregnant.

1:04:29 Drew Take the antibiotics.

1:04:30 Caller I'm kind of worried about right now.

1:04:31 Drew Yeah, you still can, believe me, and you can get atopic pregnancies. You're at high risk for that with the PID, and you probably will still be able to get pregnant. Take your antibiotics, but realize that the pelvic pain is probably going to continue.

1:04:42 Caller Okay. Well, thank you.

1:04:43 Adam All right, Sabrina.

1:04:44 Caller Bye-bye.

1:04:45 Adam Bye-bye.

1:04:46 Drew I forgot to beat about that. Oh, thanks.

1:04:48 Adam Hey, I got pelvic inflammatory disease. How are you doing there, fellas? Fantastic. All right, enjoy. Foster care. Oh, you horrible parents. You make me sick, all of you. You really do. Your kids. You horrible, horrible people. I hate all of you. All you horrible dads out there. You make me sick. I'll see you in hell, too.

1:05:10 Drew Oh, you will.

1:05:10 Adam Oh, yes. And here's my ass kick list. First, the snot-nosed teenagers who call this show, then I go to their dads. That's right. I get them all working over. And when I'm done, you know what I do? Because I'm in hell.

1:05:23 Drew I just said that would not be hell for you anymore.

1:05:26 Adam Yeah, but it's going to be hot.

1:05:27 Drew All right.

1:05:28 Adam You know, I sweat a lot. You'll have to work.

1:05:29 Drew They'll make you do it all at once. It'll be actual work.

1:05:32 Adam Yeah, hell. It's in Florida, right?

1:05:33 Guest Yeah.

1:05:34 Adam Yeah.

1:05:34 Guest During the summer.

1:05:35 Adam Yeah, it's right around. You know what I'm going to do when I'm done? I'm going to start at the beginning again. You understand? Yeah. That'd be like a conveyor belts of callers' asses.

1:05:45 Drew No sleeping, no napping, and no masturbating. That's hell for you.

1:05:50 Adam Let me explain hell, at least my interpretation of hell. They talk about in the Bible being tormented by the devil, not beaten or sodomized, but tormented. So what I'm thinking is like in my room, I got like a TV where the switcher, the knob is broken and I got to use pliers. That kind of stuff, you know, just sort of bothered by the devil. Tormented, they say. Not abused. You know, you torment someone. It's like that maybe the devil calls me Brillohead. You know, it makes one of my big teeth or something.

1:06:22 Drew It would be just like life then.

1:06:23 Guest Or Brillo-Chest.

1:06:24 Adam Brillo-Chest.

1:06:25 Guest You got that button.

1:06:26 Adam How dare you? You spindly extreme sport athletes don't know what it's like to have hair on your body. When I used to ride BMX, I'd shave my body. So when I got cut, you know, when I went down.

1:06:39 Drew You show it.

1:06:40 Adam No, no. It wouldn't get tangled up in me. It wouldn't pull the hair out. See, that's what we had to do. It's extreme guys. The guys in the novice class like myself. We're going to take ourselves a little break. We'll be back. OK, terrific. Hey, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew over there. Lisa Givens is gonna be on here Sunday. She's going to, what's she plugging, Drew?

1:07:10 Drew Sweeps for extra.

1:07:11 Adam I see.

1:07:13 Drew I'm doing a bunch of stuff for them.

1:07:15 Adam And she's doing a bunch of stuff for them.

1:07:16 Drew She is extra now. She's the anchor, and she does producing and stuff.

1:07:20 Adam Oh, she is. Doesn't she have enough money?

1:07:23 Drew You can ask her.

1:07:24 Adam Yeah, I don't trust people that work after they have.

1:07:26 Drew I know that. I know that about you. That's the part that I figure you'll go after with her. But she is disarmingly nice.

1:07:32 Adam I know.

1:07:32 Drew Very smart.

1:07:33 Adam I know. I hate that. Eating disorder, you think?

1:07:36 Drew Check it out.

1:07:38 Adam All right. And Drew, when can we see you on Extra, Extra?

1:07:43 Drew Most nights.

1:07:44 Adam Really? Yeah. Really? Starting when?

1:07:46 Drew Well, last couple nights.

1:07:48 Adam Remember how many times I saw you on Big Brother?

1:07:51 Drew Zero?

1:07:53 Adam Yeah. That's how many times I got to see you on Extra.

1:07:55 Drew You missed a triumph of modern television.

1:07:58 Adam I'm sure.

1:07:59 Drew You know what? Terrifically proud of.

1:08:01 Adam You're on during my prime napping and jacking hours, which is between the hours of 6 a.m. How dare you? 6 a.m. and 11.45 in the evening. Those are my prime nap and jack hours. Forgive me if I don't have time for your little projects. You understand? Yes. All right. Invert 2000 is what we're talking about tonight. Anaheim Convention Center coming up Friday. That is tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday. Geoff Rowley, Ryan Nyquist, Kareem Campbell are all here and they're doing some skating, they're doing some BMXing, half piping and whoop-de-do's and pancakes and berms. And what the hell else do we have? Nut sackers and rail nut draggers. And they got it all. Ano probing by the pegs.

1:08:50 Drew I just suddenly imagined.

1:08:51 Adam Pagan probe.

1:08:52 Drew Another new Dr. Seuss book. Nut rackers and rackernackers. Nut sack and drag.

1:08:58 Adam Yes, that's right. Watch Ryan do, to unveil one of his latest peg probes, he calls it. Sorry, it's where he tries to do the tabletop, but it doesn't work out. And Alex?

1:09:11 Hey.

1:09:11 Adam Hey, you're 16, what's up?

1:09:12 Caller Um, I have a question for Geoff Rowley.

1:09:15 Drew 16.

1:09:15 Adam Here you go.

1:09:16 Drew Compare this to the other 16. Oh, yeah. Yeah, hold on a second. Hold on a second.

1:09:20 Adam Yeah, this is what I love about doing this show. There's 16, there's 16, the guy we talked to earlier, he's like, hey, I'm banging this 29-year-old. She find me beer and skateboards. And anyway, I wash my hands with it. And then there's Alex 16, who sounds like Davy of Davy and Goliath.

1:09:38 Caller Remember that car too?

1:09:39 Adam Gee, Davy, we get there faster if we drove the car. Gee, Davy, I don't know. That's not a good idea. Would Jesus want us to drive the car?

1:09:50 Guest I don't know, Davy.

1:09:52 Adam The kids, is that on still?

1:09:54 Drew I don't think so.

1:09:55 Adam All right. Yeah, you guys really missed some quality viewing.

1:09:58 Drew It sounds like it.

1:09:59 Adam Great claymation. That's what we had. You guys got those mini skateboards, those mini BMX bikes and all the video games. We had some goddamn clay.

1:10:09 Drew And we had great 70s humor. I just thought of another thing that we missed out on. We were missing out on that, which is pregnancy humor in the 70s. The person about to give birth, mishaps en route to...

1:10:18 Adam Rushing to the hospital. That's right. Cop pulling up next to him. That whole thing. No, here was the big pregnancy joke. All right. Now, you guys are too young to remember this, but this was really funny in the 70s. Here's the deal. Nervous dad, pregnant wife. She's about... He's always more nervous than she is. That's the big joke. She's cool and calm, you know? And she taps him on the shoulder and says, honey, it's time. And he says, time for what? She goes, it's time. And he goes, and he starts running around and he grabs like the overnight case with all her stuff. And he's telling her to relax, stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. He throws the suitcase in the car, gets in the car, peels out, going down the street, then looks over to the side, realizes she's not in the car. That's the big joke.

1:11:03 Drew Goes back, grabs the dog.

1:11:04 Adam Peels back, grabs the dog, throws it in the car. Right. Cop pulls up. Yeah. A lot of... That's right. A lot of pregnancies.

1:11:09 Drew And always in the car and always a policeman involved.

1:11:11 Adam Thank you, Drew. All right. Now, what the hell were you talking about with Alex? Oh, Geoff. That's right. Yeah, go ahead, there, Ben.

1:11:16 Caller I'm a girl, too, so...

1:11:17 Adam Oh, no.

1:11:19 Guest Wasting your time there, mate.

1:11:20 Adam Listen, if you're a lesbian, you should say it right off the top so we don't go down that road.

1:11:25 Caller Okay. Anyway, hey, Geoff, when's the new flip video coming out?

1:11:28 Guest Oh, when it's done. Probably early next year. It depends.

1:11:32 Caller Oh, dude, I want to see Arto's part.

1:11:34 Guest So bad. Oh, my God.

1:11:35 Guest He's right here now. He's lagging behind me.

1:11:38 Caller And I also want to know, like, okay, I bought your shoes and, like, I get heel bruises, like, every time I try anything. I don't know what you do. Do you wear, like, insoles or something?

1:11:46 Guest No, I just take it.

1:11:48 Caller Oh, God, dude, you're tough. Okay.

1:11:50 Adam All right. Where are you calling from?

1:11:51 Caller Monterey.

1:11:52 Adam Monterey.

1:11:53 Caller Yep.

1:11:54 Adam You're not going to get down to the Anaheim Convention Center tomorrow, are you?

1:11:57 Caller No, that stuff's gay.

1:11:59 Adam All right.

1:12:02 Caller Why would you want to go to an event like that? It's all just extreme games crap.

1:12:05 Drew She just got back to...

1:12:06 Guest This one's a little different.

1:12:07 Caller No, it's crap.

1:12:08 Guest You haven't even been there. How do you know?

1:12:10 Guest Crap.

1:12:12 Drew Come down there. I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan.

1:12:13 Adam Crap.

1:12:14 Caller You're not even going to skate in it, Jeff.

1:12:16 Adam He's skating. How dare you? Are you skating? No. No, he's not skating. Oh, it's limerity. Crap. He gets those Korean kids to crank out those crappy shoes to make your heels sore. He doesn't skate at any events.

1:12:28 Guest I can't lie, I'm afraid. I'm sorry.

1:12:29 Adam You give a rat's ass about when the video comes out.

1:12:32 Caller I don't care about that stupid extreme stuff.

1:12:35 Adam No. Well, what do you care about?

1:12:36 Guest This ain't extreme, though. This is a trade show.

1:12:39 Caller Yeah. Well, I care like Jeff Ripps, but whatever.

1:12:43 Adam Do you want to meet him?

1:12:44 Oh, sorry, then.

1:12:46 Adam Hey, Alex.

1:12:47 Caller What?

1:12:48 Adam Where's your daddy?

1:12:49 Caller My dad's in LA. Who's your daddy?

1:12:51 Adam LA. Where is he?

1:12:53 Caller He's in LA.

1:12:54 Adam He is. You're a little angry, are you? You're all right? You like guys? Everything's good?

1:12:59 Caller Yeah, and Adam, you babble way too much. Seriously, like I was on hold for like five minutes while you're babbling about some crap.

1:13:04 Adam Listen, listen. You have just joined the ranks of people whose asses I'm gonna kick in hell.

1:13:14 Caller I'll kick my ass. Try me.

1:13:15 Adam Oh, listen, I don't punch lesbians as a rule, but for you, I would make an exception. Lesbians are hard. You better watch out. Yeah, I know. I know. They're tenacious. They're like Wolverines, those lesbians. Yeah. All right. Seriously, are you into chicks?

1:13:31 Caller No, I'm not into chicks.

1:13:33 Adam Really?

1:13:33 Caller I have a boyfriend.

1:13:34 Adam Really?

1:13:35 Caller Yeah.

1:13:35 Adam Is it a girl?

1:13:37 Drew Yeah. I like you, Alex.

1:13:39 Adam All right. She's spunky. Bye. Bye, really. Do you hate your dad, though? No, I like my dad. All right. You seem angry. It's all right. I like his skateboards. All right.

1:13:46 Guest Hey, Sheila.

1:13:47 Adam That's right. Sends her one of those skateboards up north once a year. I couldn't quite get her angle. She liked Geoff a lot.

1:13:56 Guest She just went off.

1:13:58 Adam Well, she wasn't a fan of your shoes. I know that, but why not go to the event? You see a bunch of guys skating and riding.

1:14:04 Caller I don't know.

1:14:05 Guest Doesn't make no sense.

1:14:06 Adam Aren't you into skating?

1:14:07 Drew This next call, I was just looking at it, and I think already, I think it's bogus, but let's see.

1:14:10 Adam Really?

1:14:11 Drew Yeah.

1:14:11 Adam All right. James?

1:14:13 Drew Yeah.

1:14:14 Adam You're 19.

1:14:15 Caller Yeah. Okay. I'm 19. I had sex with my girlfriend's mother, and two days later, I found out I had HIV positive.

1:14:25 Adam I see.

1:14:26 Caller And I had sex with my girlfriend before.

1:14:27 Adam I see. And what room did you have sex with her mother in?

1:14:31 Caller Her room.

1:14:32 Adam What was she wearing? Yeah.

1:14:33 Caller No, on the girlfriend's.

1:14:35 Adam I see. What was the mom wearing?

1:14:37 Caller Nothing.

1:14:38 Drew How do you get HIV?

1:14:39 Adam What was she wearing before she was wearing nothing?

1:14:42 Caller Huh?

1:14:42 Adam What was she wearing before she took her clothes off?

1:14:45 Caller Oh, just a regular, like, sundress.

1:14:49 Adam What color was it?

1:14:50 Caller It was like yellow.

1:14:52 Drew How do you contract HIV?

1:14:53 Caller I have no idea. I probably caught it from one of my other, like, playmates.

1:14:58 So to say.

1:14:59 Adam Hey, will you turn your radio down, screwball? Yeah. Okay. All right. Hold on. So do we believe this guy?

1:15:09 Drew Not yet.

1:15:10 Adam Not yet.

1:15:11 Guest He's got some details, though.

1:15:13 Adam Yeah. He's not really.

1:15:14 Guest He might have written down a piece of paper.

1:15:16 Adam You got to understand, most people call this show would fall into the category of retarded or unemployable, right? I mean, just the fact that they're able to answer, like, what color dress was it? Yellow.

1:15:32 Caller Yellow.

1:15:34 Adam That is a victory for our colors, right? But not a big deal by normal standards, would you say?

1:15:39 Guest Should we really drill them?

1:15:40 Guest Right.

1:15:40 Adam Drew, what color dress was she wearing?

1:15:42 Caller Yellow.

1:15:45 Guest All right.

1:15:45 Adam Don't make fun of it.

1:15:46 Drew I want to see more about how he contracted this thing. What do you mean it was some of your other playmates?

1:15:50 Caller Well, it's like, I'm, like, bisexual.

1:15:54 Drew Okay. So you're from a male.

1:15:56 Adam Hey, is your radio still on, Jackass?

1:15:59 Caller Hello.

1:15:59 Adam All right. Please listen, James, I'm sorry for your HIV, but listen, turn your radio down.

1:16:06 Caller Okay.

1:16:07 Adam All right. Yeah. Anderson said he's got on so his buddies can listen.

1:16:13 Drew That's what I thought.

1:16:13 Caller But yeah.

1:16:15 Guest It's a bad sign.

1:16:17 Adam Yeah.

1:16:17 Drew Let's see if he's turned it down now.

1:16:19 Adam I don't know. You know, it's really...

1:16:21 Drew It's a serious issue.

1:16:22 Adam It's against the Geneva Convention of Radio Goofs to go with the HIV because you can't make fun of a guy who's got HIV. I mean, you don't want to cut a guy off who may have HIV. On the other hand, I really don't believe it.

1:16:34 Drew Yeah, I don't either. But just go on the assumption that it's real. So if somebody happens to be suffering something like this out there.

1:16:41 Adam Who's listening other than James.

1:16:43 Drew James.

1:16:43 Guest Hello.

1:16:44 Drew Yeah. So what are you planning to do with your HIV?

1:16:48 Caller I don't know what to do.

1:16:49 Drew Where did you find out you were positive?

1:16:51 Guest At a...

1:16:56 Drew At a what? A what?

1:17:01 Adam Well, listen. Listen, guys. At least get that part down, for Christ's sake.

1:17:06 Drew And make it after Jesus.

1:17:06 How long have you been blind, deaf, and dumb?

1:17:08 Caller I can't take it, Adam!

1:17:11 Adam Jesus Christ. David Allen Grier. I'd say just put that thing in the best of pile. We'll just replay that once a week. Anyway, we'll stop coming in on Tuesday.

1:17:23 Drew Between David and St. Clown Posse.

1:17:26 Adam Yeah, that's it. Let them, they should just come over and do the show. Jessica?

1:17:31 Caller Yeah.

1:17:31 Adam You're 28?

1:17:32 Caller Yes.

1:17:33 Adam What's up?

1:17:35 Caller I wanted to make a comment about the girl whose boyfriend strangled her during sex. I had this done to me like six years ago by a boyfriend that I dated, and I found it real erotic and liked it a lot. But after we broke up, I could never find anybody to do that for me. I started experimenting during masturbation sessions strangling myself, and then I started thinking it was really weird going to this guilt thing. I got a book called Eccentric and Bizarre Behaviors, and it talks about this, I don't know, it's like a disease, it's called autoerotic esthetia.

1:18:16 Drew It kills people every year, lots of them.

1:18:19 Guest And anyway, it's true, your grandfather went that way, didn't he?

1:18:23 Drew Jessica, you need to get some help.

1:18:25 Adam He's a spokesman for the board, right?

1:18:27 Drew Right, you've looked into it.

1:18:28 Adam Three family members go that way, Drew?

1:18:30 Drew You got a book talking about how it being a deviant behavior and dangerous behavior.

1:18:34 Caller Yeah, I know, that's why.

1:18:35 Drew Now let's go ahead and do something about it.

1:18:36 Adam Well, there's nothing wrong with a little rough trade.

1:18:38 Caller My research did anyways, because I thought it was kind of weird, because I couldn't stop.

1:18:41 Adam I'd give you a little strangling if I was with you. I would. Well, not me personally, I have people that do that now.

1:18:47 Caller Oh, really?

1:18:47 Adam As Waldo, a guy who works at my house, I am strangling my bitches while I'm having sex.

1:18:51 Guest So he can wave, really? So he has hands free to wave?

1:18:53 Adam Yeah, I gotta look in the mirror. And, you know, when you're a millionaire, I mean literally a millionaire like myself, you don't get involved with, you know, dirty your soil or hands with this kind of stuff anymore.

1:19:02 Drew Wire, telephone wire.

1:19:04 Adam Yeah, use piano wire.

1:19:05 Drew Piano wire.

1:19:06 Caller So you really think I need, like, therapy even though I...

1:19:09 Adam Well, how much are you...

1:19:10 Caller I'm not sure about it and I'm not looking for that anymore.

1:19:12 Drew Yeah, well, it means something happened to you growing up.

1:19:15 Caller You see, that's all a thing because I had a real normal. I mean, my parents split up, but very tight family unit for being-

1:19:21 Drew No.

1:19:21 Adam No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, no, no, no, wait a minute. Now, some women, a certain percentage of women like a little rough stuff.

1:19:29 Caller It's rough, yeah.

1:19:30 Guest Yeah.

1:19:31 Drew Yeah, but this is a-

1:19:31 Adam Not an all out-

1:19:32 Drew Pulsing preoccupation.

1:19:33 Adam A little rough stuff.

1:19:34 Guest All right.

1:19:35 Adam And yes, she may be a little further along than most, but you have it under control, right, Jessica?

1:19:39 Guest Yeah.

1:19:39 Caller It's just like that, you know, holding your breath heightens the orgasm, you know?

1:19:43 Caller Whoa.

1:19:43 Guest Does it really?

1:19:45 Caller Yes, it does.

1:19:46 Caller Whoa.

1:19:46 Caller That's the whole thing behind the bondage thing.

1:19:49 Adam I just hold my breath because when I'm whacking off, I don't want to get in my mouth.

1:19:52 Caller Here's the deal.

1:19:54 Adam Drew, you ever do that?

1:19:55 Drew Here's what I can say about Jessica.

1:19:55 Adam You close your mouth?

1:19:56 Drew Yeah.

1:19:57 Adam You don't want to get any in there?

1:19:58 Drew No, I just say, keep your eyes tightly shut.

1:20:00 Adam Yeah, like, let's say you don't do it for like a day and a half or something, you're scared to get a little extra. Sometimes I get the ceiling fan going, you know, on a hot day.

1:20:08 Drew Here's what I can say about Jessica.

1:20:09 Adam Sometimes it's flying all over the place.

1:20:10 Drew My mom or dad was an alcoholic.

1:20:12 Caller I'm sorry?

1:20:14 Adam Which one of your parents was an alcoholic?

1:20:16 Caller No alcoholism, social drinkers, they don't drink now. My father passed away five years ago.

1:20:21 Drew From what he died?

1:20:21 Adam Cirrhosis.

1:20:22 Caller No, he had kidney failure.

1:20:24 Drew From what?

1:20:26 Caller I don't know, we admitted him into the hospital with flu and he had kidney failure and was in dialysis for 10 years.

1:20:32 Drew No, wait a minute. He was not a diabetic?

1:20:33 Adam He was a court of Jaeger-Meister.

1:20:35 Caller No, later, after five years of dialysis.

1:20:37 Drew Wait a minute, where did he get kidney failure from?

1:20:40 Caller I'm sorry?

1:20:40 Drew Where did the kidney failure kick in?

1:20:43 Caller What was that from? That's all we knew. We admitted him to the hospital with what we thought was like...

1:20:46 Adam Jessica, just admit your dad was a lush so we can move on here.

1:20:49 Drew I wonder if he was an addict.

1:20:52 Guest What causes your kidneys?

1:20:54 Caller I don't know if he was a closet drinker maybe.

1:20:56 Drew I'm not sure about drinking. I think he was using drugs maybe.

1:20:58 Adam What causes your kidneys to shut down like that?

1:21:01 Drew High blood pressure, diabetes, IV drug use.

1:21:03 Adam Maybe add that.

1:21:05 Drew No, she said no.

1:21:06 Adam What did your dad do for a living? This will determine it.

1:21:09 Caller Dental technician.

1:21:10 Adam Oh, heroin.

1:21:12 Drew Yeah, Demerol.

1:21:13 Adam Demerol, that's right.

1:21:15 Guest It's great.

1:21:16 Adam It's a great show, by the way. People mourn their beloved parents and we turn them into junkies ten years after they're in the ground. That's great, isn't it? My father was a dear, dear soul. No, he wasn't. Junkie. He passed away on my birthday in 1987. That's right, Odeed. No, he was actually, he pushed a kid who was standing in front of a bus and he was killed himself. He was drunk and he staggered out into the street.

1:21:43 Guest He was pushing through the kids.

1:21:44 Adam He thought that was a whore.

1:21:46 Drew He was trying to rape her. Here's the old Jessica though. There's somebody that needs-

1:21:49 Adam Drew, do you realize what you do to people with that?

1:21:51 Drew Listen, the deal with Jessica though, someone that needs that level of arousal, that orgasm is not good enough, that they're looking for more thrill, more arousal, that's addict behavior. It really is. And addicts use those sorts of mechanisms to regulate affect. So it means that there was an addict family system there going on.

1:22:04 Adam Who cares? All right, we'll take a little break. I'm tired.

1:22:06 Drew I want to talk to her again.

1:22:08 Adam You do?

1:22:08 Drew I'm not done.

1:22:09 Adam No, I'm done.

1:22:10 Drew I'm not done.

1:22:11 Adam I was done an hour ago with her. You go talk to her on the other phone on your own time.

1:22:15 Drew All right.

1:22:16 Adam Give her your phone number.

1:22:17 Drew But then when I find out what's really going on, you're going to be fine.

1:22:19 Adam Go find out. I bet you find nothing.

1:22:21 Drew I bet you.

1:22:22 Adam Okay.

1:22:22 Drew We're going to break.

1:22:23 Adam All right.

1:22:27 Caller Loveline will be right back. So get your problems ready.

1:22:53 Adam All right. Jeff, Ryan, and Kareem are all here tonight. Professional skateboarders and bikers or biker, and talking about the Invert 2000 at the Anaheim Convention Center, which is coming up tomorrow all the way through the weekend. Half pipes and rail drags and whoop-de-do's and berms. It's all there. It's really, it's a stoner's paradise. You guys get out there, you buy some of those Cadillac wheels and put them on your Black Night Board and get those Chicago trucks. Remember those, Drew?

1:23:29 Drew No.

1:23:29 Adam Oh.

1:23:30 Guest I do.

1:23:30 Adam You do? Yeah.

1:23:32 Guest Clay wheels anyway, the Chicago ones.

1:23:34 Adam Yeah, those were good.

1:23:36 Drew So Jessica's an addict.

1:23:37 Adam Oh yeah, Drew talked Jessica into being an addict.

1:23:40 Drew No, she's in recovery. She has a sponsor. So we sent her back to her sponsor to talk about these behaviors.

1:23:45 Adam Oh boy, let me check the phones there.

1:23:47 Drew They're still talking to them, is that what that means?

1:23:49 Adam Oh, they are?

1:23:49 Drew Yeah.

1:23:50 Adam Oh really?

1:23:51 Drew Now you get something. There you go. Oh, that's nice.

1:23:54 Adam Dynamite. Maria?

1:23:56 Caller Yeah.

1:23:57 Adam You're 22, what's up?

1:23:58 Caller Well, my husband and I have been married for almost four years now.

1:24:02 Caller And when we first started dating and first got married, he was able to last the average 10, 15 minutes when we were having sex.

1:24:10 Guest And now he lasts about maybe three to five seconds.

1:24:13 Drew Are you having sex less frequently?

1:24:15 Caller Yeah.

1:24:16 Adam Well, three to five seconds? Yeah.

1:24:19 Drew How often are you having sex?

1:24:21 Guest Probably once a week, maybe.

1:24:22 Drew Maybe. Give me a more reasonable estimate. Maybe every two weeks?

1:24:27 Guest Yeah.

1:24:28 Drew He may have a little build up action here.

1:24:29 Caller Even if we-

1:24:30 Adam Three to five seconds.

1:24:32 Drew But if he's not masturbating, he's getting behind.

1:24:36 Caller Yeah.

1:24:36 Adam Three to five seconds.

1:24:37 Drew I mean, it's ridiculous.

1:24:40 Adam That ain't even all the way in once, is it? I know. I know.

1:24:43 Caller What we were wondering, he's embarrassed to go to the doctor and we're wondering-

1:24:46 Adam I should say so.

1:24:48 Drew Is he on a medication?

1:24:48 Adam He'd be humiliated if I were.

1:24:50 Drew You guys should have more frequent sex, I think.

1:24:52 Caller Okay.

1:24:53 Guest Give him some sex.

1:24:56 Adam Yeah, but he still-

1:24:58 Drew How many kids? 22?

1:25:00 Caller Three.

1:25:01 Caller I just had a baby eight days ago.

1:25:03 Caller Wow.

1:25:04 Adam Once you give that vagina a little rest, it's either something going in or something coming out of it, all the time. It's like the entrance to a subway.

1:25:13 Guest It's a Holland Tunnel.

1:25:14 Adam Yeah. Let's dump a little water on it, I think.

1:25:21 Caller Well, what we were wondering would be-

1:25:22 Guest Like a sauna.

1:25:25 Guest Yeah.

1:25:25 Adam Get yourself like a eucalyptus leaf and slap it with a little little levy on it.

1:25:30 Drew What were you wondering, Maria?

1:25:32 Caller Viagra, would that help him at all or just more sex?

1:25:35 Drew Well, you know-

1:25:36 Adam Yeah, why not?

1:25:38 Drew It would help him last over erection. He would still have a quick orgasm, but he'd have erection that would persist after. Interestingly, with this-

1:25:45 Adam Maybe breaking it up, anything would break it up a little bit.

1:25:47 Drew Here's the deal. I'm just an extra one of the things I did with them was a study that Red Book put up on the web and they talked about people using-

1:25:53 Adam Red Book?

1:25:54 Drew Yeah.

1:25:54 Adam Oh, true. You're losing it now.

1:25:56 Caller Is that like the Red Book?

1:25:57 Drew But we did a study about use of Viagra and it was interesting that the people for whom they felt Vagra was helpful were people who had medical problems, side effects and medications. They all were like delighted with Viagra, but the person was sort of recreational experimenting with it, didn't find it so cool. It was uncomfortable. It kept, you know, the Vagra actually wouldn't go down for 10 hours. It was, it was just wasn't good.

1:26:16 Guest When they used that stuff in the graves.

1:26:19 Drew Viagra?

1:26:19 Guest Yeah. That's what I heard.

1:26:21 Adam I mean, the guys are just popping it to try to add a little turbo charge into their whatever.

1:26:26 Drew Right.

1:26:26 Adam I've talked to a few guys.

1:26:27 Drew They're dissatisfied with that. They're uncomfortable. Oh, really? Yeah.

1:26:31 Adam Well, you know what I think it is? I think expectations were a little bit high. I mean, this was made for guys who had a rectal difficulty, and then there's some 22 year old guy who's bisexual, and he's listening to that pop music that the kids listen to, and spinning around and dancing with all the shiny lights and everything. Is that what they do with these rays? And now he takes one of these things, and he thinks he's going to be Boner Man, and it turns out that it's a little better, but it's not what he expected.

1:26:58 Drew And that's Boner Man, but they think they're going to have this arousing experience, it's going to be highly sexualized, and it's sort of just this uncomfortable direction.

1:27:07 Adam But listen, he needs to try something, because two to three seconds.

1:27:11 Drew How about more frequent sex?

1:27:13 Adam I wouldn't be satisfied until I doubled, maybe tripled that time, you know?

1:27:17 Drew But those are reasonable goals.

1:27:19 Guest What about like four condoms?

1:27:21 Drew No.

1:27:23 Guest A bit of ice on the nads?

1:27:24 Adam Yeah, a little ice on the nads.

1:27:26 Drew On the nads?

1:27:26 Guest On my health.

1:27:27 Adam I don't even put ice on my... I'll freeze them in a tray before I have sex.

1:27:32 Drew You put a stick in them and put cellophane on top?

1:27:34 Adam I dump liquid nitrogen on my sack before I have sex.

1:27:38 Drew Yeah, but then you'd put a little stick in it and...

1:27:40 Adam That's right, that's right. For the summer, the kids love it. It's a fast treat, low cal. Nads on a stick. That's right.

1:27:49 Drew Nadsicles.

1:27:49 Adam Yeah, the problem with the liquid nitrogen is if something blunt hits your nuts, they will crumble.

1:27:55 Drew They crack.

1:27:56 Adam Yeah, like in Terminator 2.

1:27:58 Drew Yikes.

1:27:58 Adam Clifford, what's up?

1:28:00 Caller Hello.

1:28:01 Adam Uh-oh. What's up with you?

1:28:03 Caller Yeah, my burning question for this evening is circumcision, yes or no?

1:28:10 Drew Which of the guests?

1:28:12 Caller I am uncircumcised and happy with it.

1:28:14 Adam I see.

1:28:15 Drew We're proud of you.

1:28:16 Adam Are you happy with your penis?

1:28:17 Caller I'm over the moon. How are you?

1:28:19 Adam Okay, good. And where are you calling from?

1:28:21 Caller I'm calling from Huntington Beach.

1:28:23 Adam I see. And are you from there?

1:28:26 Caller No, from England.

1:28:26 Drew Yeah, he was born in Huntington Beach, Adam.

1:28:28 Adam I see. And what's the point?

1:28:31 Drew He's been studying the Beatles his whole life, though.

1:28:33 Caller The panel this evening.

1:28:35 Guest Right.

1:28:36 Caller Circumcision was a good thing or a bad thing.

1:28:38 Guest All right.

1:28:39 Caller Well, that's it.

1:28:40 Adam All right, let's put it...

1:28:42 Guest I like mine.

1:28:43 Adam All right, Ryan, Ryan gives a big thumbs up for circumcision.

1:28:46 Guest I'm into it, I'm into it.

1:28:47 Adam Jeff?

1:28:48 Guest What? Circumcision? Absolutely not.

1:28:51 Adam All right, no circumcision. All right. Well, good. I'm glad we settled that. As anyone knows...

1:28:56 Guest Maybe it's a skater thing.

1:28:58 Guest No, it's the half a man thing. You got no foreskin. You're like not quite the full man. You know what I mean? You've had a piece taken away.

1:29:05 Guest Kind of like that Stone-Tibble Palace song, like half the man I used to be.

1:29:08 Drew Stop clipping your fingernails and toenails.

1:29:10 Adam Yeah, why don't you just let everything grow?

1:29:12 Guest No turtlenecks.

1:29:13 Drew No hair, hair cutting.

1:29:17 Adam Yes, yes. I would like to gather all the foreskins that have been cut off other men's penis and add it to my own, so I could actually drag a foreskin.

1:29:25 Drew Didn't Howie Mandel tell us about burying some of the back end?

1:29:28 Adam Howie Mandel said that, and he was very serious about this, that he's Jewish and he performed. They had a circumcision for a son at the house. You know, the Jews are nuts, any excuse to eat. Hey, I'm chopping my son's dick off. You want to come by and have some brisket? Fantastic. Great. Can we get out of work? Beautiful. We're there. We can get out of work and eat. Fantastic. We'll be by. Bring a little wine. Have a good time. The moil cuts the guy's foreskin off. As some sort of tradition would have it, they bury the foreskin in the backyard and the dog digs it up and eats it. That's what...

1:30:04 Guest Oh, man. Apparently...

1:30:08 Adam Black Lab is what Howie said. So there was a little tension in there. We're going to take ourselves a break. We'll be back after this.

1:30:36 Guest There we go.

1:30:37 Adam Thank you very much. I want to thank Jeff, Ryan, and Kareem for all coming out here.

1:30:40 Guest Thank you.

1:30:41 Adam You're very welcome. Invert 2000, everyone. Anaheim Convention Center tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday, all weekend. Get down there, check it out, see the guys, say hi.

1:30:52 Drew Are we out of time?

1:30:53 Adam Support this board. Oh, yeah.

1:30:54 Drew We're long gone.

1:30:55 Adam I started ramping up at 11. I don't know if you noticed that, but this is it. My batteries are drained. We're going home.

1:31:01 Drew Liza's here on Sunday.

1:31:02 Adam Thanks, guys, for coming in. We do appreciate it. Liza Given's on Sunday. I want to thank engineer Anderson for doing a great job all week, Lauren for working her magic on the phone lines, and producer Ann, who's at home and asleep right now. But when she's here, she does a bang up job. So until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:31:23 How long have you been blind, deaf, and dumb?

1:31:26 Guest I can't take it, Adam.

1:31:28 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, November 16, 2000