Episode 1000754887325

1:02 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline Coast to Coast.

1:15 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there filling in for Dr. Drew, who's sick. I'm assuming he's sick, and he's sick, right? Yeah, he was sick last night and sick the last few days, so I guess he just whoosed out.

1:29 Dr. Bruce Some doctor.

1:30 Adam Yeah. I always tell him it's funny, funny when a doctor gets sick. It's like when the fire chief's house burns down, there's a funny irony around doctors getting sick. And then when they die of some horrible disease, that's hysterical.

1:43 Dr. Bruce Heart attack's the best one.

1:44 Adam Oh, yeah. That's good.

1:46 On the golf course.

1:47 Adam I like when doctors smoke. I always think that's funny, too. I like it. It sort of makes it OK for everyone else.

1:54 Dr. Bruce I like it when cardiologists smoking. That's what I like to see.

1:56 Adam Bruce, remember the microphone there? Oh, yeah. That's what you're supposed to talk into. I can't eat it, but I can. OK. It's also funny when Dr. Bruce comes in here with a couple of Mountain Dews and a Jumbo Snickers to chew on. Dr. Bruce, don't worry. I know he doesn't sound qualified, but he's just as qualified as Dr. Drew to do this job.

2:16 Dr. Bruce In your opinion.

2:19 He's smart!

2:20 Dr. Bruce He's much more beachy.

2:21 Adam You're board certified.

2:23 Dr. Bruce Right.

2:23 Adam Oh, that'd be a good name for your next surf film, Board Certified. Okay, write that down, Phelps. And he knows emergency medicine and also does a little addiction medicine, right?

2:35 Dr. Bruce Right.

2:36 Adam All right, Chris Malloy and Kelly Slater, both here, both champion surfers and here to plug. Chris has not been on the show before, but of course Kelly's no stranger to the Loveline studio. They're here to promote Adrenaline Theater and you guys go ahead and start plugging now. How does this work?

2:55 Dr. Bruce Well, there's a new surf film coming out called Hit and Run, which will be in AMC Theaters, Adrenaline Theater. It's called Surfskate Snow. And when is it? Hitting theaters?

3:06 Dr. Bruce How do we know?

3:07 Adam August.

3:08 Dr. Bruce A week or so.

3:08 Adam Two weeks.

3:09 Dr. Bruce Thursday is the premiere.

3:10 Dr. Bruce Thursday.

3:11 Adam And if you want to get more information about theaters near you that are going to be having this, and it's a series, right? I mean, it's not just surfing.

3:20 Dr. Bruce They've got snowboarding, skateboarding, motocross, the whole deal.

3:23 Adam You can log on to swell.com, W-S-E-L-L, excuse me, S-W-E-L-L and.com and find out some of that stuff. But is the first one just surfing?

3:36 Dr. Bruce Yeah, the first one's just surfing. And it's a project that we've been working nonstop on for the last six months, just traveling all over the world, everywhere.

3:43 Adam And what's different about this film? I mean, as opposed to your normal surf films?

3:51 Dr. Bruce Gosh, a little more documentary style than typical surf film.

3:54 Adam Good, because the only problem with surf films normally, in any of these kind of surf film, ski films, is sort of the corny narration and the bad jokes that they stick in. Oh, yeah.

4:06 Dr. Bruce Well, this is kind of like an upgraded version of a surf video.

4:10 Adam Right. And where is it? All over the world?

4:13 Dr. Bruce Everywhere. Like, we went to the Maldives, Tahiti, Hawaii, Australia, Japan.

4:21 Adam Get a little more on the mic there, which Chris...

4:22 Dr. Bruce Basically everywhere. And we only have... Usually we have a year and a half to work on a project like this. And this one was six months. So it was basically all of us. Taylor called us up. Taylor Steele, the guy that made the film, called us up and just said, look, we got six months to make the best surf film ever. And we've just been living out of a backpack ever since.

4:39 Adam Now, who... So when he says we got six months to make the best surf film ever, it's you and Kelly. And then who else?

4:47 Dr. Bruce There's about 10 or 12 guys that he worked with mainly on this one.

4:51 Adam And you guys all go to every location or does he send a couple of guys to another location and a couple of guys to this location?

4:58 Dr. Bruce I think Shane Doran, Rob Machado and a couple of guys went to the Maldives and we went to Mexico and then just Taylor Knox somewhere else. I mean, it's just kind of all over the world wherever.

5:09 Adam And do you have to kind of follow the surf? I mean, what if there's no surf wherever you end up?

5:15 Dr. Bruce We were literally waiting for swells and like, oh, it's going to be good in Mexico next week. Let's go.

5:19 Dr. Bruce Yeah, and it was crazy because we had just heard about a spot, a secret spot. We get down there, we ended up, we heard it was like a little walk to the beach, we ended up hiking like three miles through the jungle just to get to this wave every day. And we were on the deadline, so it wasn't like we could just find a different way to get in. So we did it twice a day every day. And this guy shows up on the beach, like blisters on his feet, just mosquito bitten.

5:40 Dr. Bruce Three miles wasn't bad for us, but Taylor still had a 70 pound camera.

5:46 Dr. Bruce It's your movie, bro.

5:48 Dr. Bruce What was that first classic movie from the 60s?

5:50 Dr. Bruce Endless Summer. Right.

5:51 Dr. Bruce Is that still a standard by which surfers?

5:53 Dr. Bruce Pretty much. That was a time when surfing was big at Malibu, and there was this whole buzz about it in Hollywood and stuff. So it was like the first film, and probably the only one that will ever capture that feeling.

6:04 Dr. Bruce A lot of those beaches seem so virgin. There'd be no one else out there, and these guys would be out great waves. Are those same places crowded now, as opposed to...

6:12 Dr. Bruce Yeah, pretty much. West Africa's not, but everywhere else is.

6:16 Adam Where's the best place you've each ever surfed in your life? I mean, I know you got a long list, but if you could narrow it down to one, what do you think?

6:24 Dr. Bruce There's a ton of places that have like, grade A, perfect, perfect surf, but I have a big place in my heart for Tahiti, because the surf is absolutely perfect. It's as beautiful as it gets, and the people are just magic.

6:37 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I just was in Tahiti like two weeks ago, and I just fell totally in love with the place.

6:42 Adam Yeah, people are nice?

6:43 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

6:43 Adam They don't hate the round eyes over there? No.

6:45 Dr. Bruce They're all right with you guys? If you're French, the French got to them first, so we're lucky. If you're French, you have more of a problem, but Americans are fine.

6:54 Dr. Bruce Yeah, they totally... the French screwed them over over there.

6:58 Adam All right, so this Adrenaline Theater is going to hit, what do we say, August? Fourth. August Fourth. And like I said, if you do swell.com, you can find out where it's coming to a theater near you.

7:12 Dr. Bruce And I love this nationwide and over 40 cities. Good start.

7:17 Adam Eddie?

7:18 Yeah?

7:19 Adam You're 20, what's up?

7:21 Caller Hey guys, Adam?

7:23 Adam Yeah.

7:23 Caller Bruce?

7:24 Hey.

7:25 Something great, I like it.

7:26 Great.

7:28 I actually have two questions. The first one is, I only seem to attract women who are clinically insane.

7:36 Dr. Bruce That's me too, man.

7:37 Dr. Bruce No, you're only attracted to clinically insane girls.

7:40 Dr. Bruce How do you define clinically insane?

7:42 But these women just seem to be attracted to me.

7:44 Dr. Bruce How do you define clinically insane? How do you know they're insane?

7:46 Because they've told me one of them was a big acid-free, big acid-free.

7:54 Adam You know, it's funny about being a guy though is in, I got to give you guys a heads up. You don't have to form a relationship with every chick who likes you. Takes guys a while to figure that out. I mean, you'll certainly have sex with anybody who shows any interest in you at all. And then you have some sort of bond and then you have some sort of relationship. I mean, women have done this throughout history. They have guys that are into them. They're not into the guy. It never turns into anything. Guys will always at least go down the road a little ways with them. And if they're nuts, then you're with them. I mean, it's hard to get their hooks out of you.

8:29 Dr. Bruce What are you projecting to these women? Are you sitting on a park bench reading a classic novel? Or do you look pretty out there?

8:37 Caller I used to look pretty out there, but not anymore.

8:40 Adam All right.

8:41 Dr. Bruce Long hair.

8:42 Dr. Bruce Listen, who cares? So if you had a chaotic home life when you were growing up, do you have any kind of interesting family background?

8:50 Well, my parents were divorced when I was about five.

8:52 Adam All right. Join the club. Listen, the guy is 20. He's gone out with some screwy chicks. I don't deem that as a problem. If you're attracted to somebody, question that attraction and go on. Put a condom on. Chris, you're 15. What's up?

9:11 Caller I got two minor questions. One is recently had sex, and you know how the first time is the best, and I couldn't get to the positions comfortably, and I was wondering how to get well hung.

9:25 Adam Okay. Well, A, you wait, the first time is the best?

9:30 Caller No, I said it's not.

9:31 Adam No, it's not. What positions couldn't you get to?

9:35 Caller No, I mean, I could get into some positions.

9:37 Dr. Bruce He might not have known them.

9:38 Adam Yeah. You don't have enough penis for certain positions?

9:42 Caller No, I don't. I don't have enough penis.

9:45 Adam You just didn't bring it with you? It's out in the car? I've used that one before.

9:49 Dr. Bruce You've heard that song before?

9:50 Adam Yeah, I didn't know I was going to use my penis. That's my life.

9:52 Dr. Bruce I'm sorry. It's a tangible penis song.

9:54 Yeah.

9:55 Dr. Bruce So, Chris, can you explain to me? I need a little help with your question. I don't understand it.

10:00 Caller It's like, I can go like, if you can imagine an angle and I can go like 90 degrees, and then like past that would be like someone, it would be uncomfortable.

10:10 Adam But what angle would we imagine?

10:13 Caller Just my penis, like a rat.

10:14 Okay.

10:14 Adam Well, let's say, let's put it this way. Let's say your penis is the little hand on a clock. Okay. I don't want to make the big hand.

10:25 All right.

10:25 Adam It's a little hand.

10:26 Yeah. All right.

10:27 Adam Now you take it from there.

10:29 Caller All right.

10:31 Adam Where's the big hand?

10:32 Caller The big hand is on.

10:35 Adam Your penis? No. Where's the big hand?

10:40 230.

10:42 Adam The big hand is at 230.

10:43 Caller Yeah.

10:44 Adam All right. I'm looking at the clock and your penis is on what number?

10:51 Caller I'm not sure about.

10:52 Adam About 215?

10:54 Caller Yeah. I'm not sure about how you're like.

10:56 Adam I don't know either. I confused myself on that one.

10:58 Dr. Bruce What's the big hand represent?

11:00 Caller Yeah, what does?

11:00 Adam I don't know. Let's say the big hand represents your body.

11:05 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

11:06 Adam So now where's your penis? And what are you talking about with the angle?

11:10 Caller All right. The big hand is at 12.

11:13 Adam So you're standing up.

11:14 Caller Yeah.

11:15 Adam Okay.

11:15 Caller And my penis is like at 230.

11:19 Adam Normal. 230. Okay. That sounds about right.

11:22 Caller But like after three, it just gets kind of uncomfortable.

11:25 Adam So if it gets bent down, as it approaches 330 and 4 o'clock, it starts getting uncomfortable.

11:32 Caller Yes.

11:32 Adam All right. But why are you facing it that direction?

11:35 Dr. Bruce The direction is not really made to go down that direction.

11:38 Caller I'm really meant to get down the way. I'm just kind of so conscious about these things.

11:42 Dr. Bruce Practice makes perfect.

11:43 Dr. Bruce Are you having sex with windmills or, you know, do you have a stationary partner or what is...

11:48 Dr. Bruce Just work on it. It'll come to you.

11:49 Caller Yeah. All right. And I have a really other small question. When's the next time you could get 9 Inch Nails in there?

11:55 Adam I don't know. I don't think they've been here in the five years I've been here. So probably tomorrow night.

12:01 Caller Do you think that's possible?

12:02 Adam Yeah. Tomorrow. All right. As a matter of fact, we'll do a special noon broadcast tomorrow. All right. We'll do it a little earlier. I get 9 Inch Nails in here.

12:12 Caller I don't think they're in LA right now.

12:13 Adam Don't worry. I'll fly them in. All right. Idiot. Mike?

12:19 Yeah.

12:20 Adam Mike, you're 15.

12:21 Caller Yeah.

12:21 Actually, I'm 14.

12:22 Adam Fantastic. What's up?

12:24 Caller Is it normal to masturbate with saliva?

12:27 Adam If you're camping or you're surfing or something, you're in a pinch.

12:32 Dr. Bruce I think it's abnormal not to.

12:33 Dr. Bruce It does have digestive enzymes in it.

12:35 Adam See, you could erode your penis.

12:39 Dr. Bruce Like a fly.

12:40 Adam Hey, Mike?

12:41 Yeah?

12:41 Adam I think it's normal in the absence of other lube. But if you're standing in a fully stocked bathroom and you're spitting on your hand, you got problems.

12:52 Well, I'm always in my room. I just don't feel like going to the kitchen.

12:55 Adam I see. What do you got in the kitchen there?

12:57 Dr. Bruce A little dish soap?

12:58 Adam A little bacon fat?

13:00 Yeah, after I do that, I got a shower, though.

13:02 Dr. Bruce Marjoram.

13:02 Adam All right. Hey, Mike? Huh? Have fun. Okay?

13:06 Dr. Bruce Get some.

13:07 Adam Yeah, it's normal. Well, like I said- We got some real problems here somewhere? Yeah, Bruce, pick out some real problems.

13:12 Dr. Bruce I was trying to deal with the chaos in the family of Eddie number first call, but-

13:16 Adam Oh, that wasn't a problem. All right. He picks out- All right.

13:20 Dr. Bruce Wait a second. Here's a serious one. Let's do this. Okay.

13:22 Adam All right. Well, let's not get too serious. This one- Okay. All right. We'll talk to Cody. Cody?

13:29 Yeah?

13:30 Adam You're on with surfing great, Kelly Slater and Chris Malloy.

13:33 Oh, great.

13:34 Adam What's up?

13:36 Caller I've been kicking it with this girl. She's 17 and I'm 15 and she was molested by her uncle when she was like three or four. And she gets real weird when we start having sex. She can't really control herself.

13:47 She's kind of impulsive.

13:48 Adam Yeah.

13:50 Caller And I was wondering what should I do? Because it's kind of uncomfortable to be around her.

13:54 Adam Yeah. That's tough, especially for a 15-year-old.

13:59 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Okay. Well, you have some good insight. You're 15 and you understand that there is a connection there. Okay. And I would assume she's probably not had any therapy. She's not dealt with that or has she?

14:10 Caller Well, she's trying to, but I don't think she, you know, she really wants to. She's like whole family is all messed up.

14:15 Dr. Bruce Okay. First of all, to be in a sexual relationship with that kind of stuff going on at 17 and with that history, it's not going to get any better. So you could do her a favor by talking to her about, you know, getting help before she gets in a sexual relationship. And you're not in it. It's not going to be a healthy relationship. It's not going to go anywhere. And, you know, it sounds like you have some insight into that part of it.

14:40 Adam What did she tell you about this?

14:42 Well, yeah, when I first met her, she told me about it.

14:44 Caller And I was saying, you know, that's how I messed up.

14:47 Adam You're right. All right. So but you're having sex.

14:49 Caller Yeah.

14:50 Adam But she gets weird when you're having sex.

14:52 Caller Yeah. She just I don't know.

14:53 I just I would understand that she would.

14:55 Caller But I always try to tell her to, you know, see a therapist. But she said she doesn't trust them.

15:00 Adam Oh boy.

15:01 Dr. Bruce Well, sure, she's going to have trust issues because look what happened to her when she was a child. And when you have sex, you're going to a lot of this stuff's going to come up and much of it's not under her control. I mean, she's not consciously deciding to bring these memories back. And there's a lot more to it. You're just at the tip of the iceberg here. The hope is that there's somebody adult and stable in her life that she will trust that will either be a therapist or get her to trust a therapist. So, you can do her a big favor by, I mean, to continue the relationship. And even if you end it, the chances are in what frequently happens, people like this, they go from relationship to relationship and become more mistrustful of men and sexual situations. So if there's some way, is there an adult you know, is there someone you both know that she trusts and sit down and take their advice?

15:50 Caller It's really hard to say. I mean, her whole family just, you know, she's kind of like the outcast of the family. So nobody really listens to her, what she has to say anyway. So I don't think she really has anybody to trust.

15:59 Dr. Bruce Right.

15:59 Dr. Bruce Wouldn't the outcasting of the family be from like some kind of denial in the family?

16:05 Dr. Bruce The what? It sounds like there's a chaotic family.

16:07 Adam The family's a mess. All right, quiet down there, Bruce. You said your piece. Cody? Yeah? You got your hands full. Yep. You're 15. You can barely masturbate. This is a job for like a 35-year-old guy who smokes a pipe. You know what I'm saying? You're in way over your head. So you just got to take it slow. Don't pressure her. You know, be there for her and encourage her to get some help.

16:30 Dr. Bruce But it's not good for her to have sex. So you're in a tough situation because that's obviously something you're...

16:34 Adam I agree with Bruce. You go for the blowjob. All right, Cody?

16:38 Dr. Bruce And she's at high risk to get into drugs because she's in a lot of pain and that's going to be something she's going to look... She'll find that alcohol, pot, those will numb the pain and maybe even make it easier to have sex. So she's a setup for a lot of other problems. So be responsible. Try and do what's best for her.

16:52 All right.

16:53 Adam All right.

16:54 All right.

16:54 Thank you.

16:56 Dr. Bruce Great advice.

16:56 Adam Well, I just mean, I couldn't picture being 15 and going out with someone who's 17 and had all this history and is crying when you're trying to get it on. I mean, this world's turning to a mess.

17:09 Dr. Bruce And she's with a younger guy that's probably more taller.

17:11 Adam I'm going to Tahiti.

17:12 Dr. Bruce He's a smart kid. There's guys that are 50 that don't get that.

17:14 Dr. Bruce That's right.

17:15 Dr. Bruce That guy's worried. I didn't have sex until I was 16. I sure wouldn't be worried about... I wasn't even thinking about these kind of issues.

17:22 Dr. Bruce The empathy for other people's not normally there.

17:25 Adam Right. Yeah. My biggest concern the first time I had sex was, you know, can I finish before the roofies wear off? I mean, that was my number one priority. I knew those things were going to kick off in about 40 minutes.

17:37 Dr. Bruce Why don't you reveal a sensitive view, Adam? I know it's there. I saw it on Bill Maher last night.

17:41 Adam Oh, you watched Politically Incorrect last night. God bless you. What were you doing watching that show?

17:46 Dr. Bruce You know, it's my bad habit nightline in Politically Incorrect.

17:50 Dr. Bruce I met Bill and I called him Gil. I didn't mean to. I was introduced to him and I had my back turned. And somebody said, this is meh, and I thought it, they said it was Gil. So I said, hi Gil. And I don't think he was very impressed.

18:02 Adam Yeah, he's a little tough to get to know.

18:04 Dr. Bruce He likes having you on there though, because I think, you know, he likes you pushing the envelope a little further than he would.

18:09 Adam Yeah, I think I took a dump in the envelope last night. It's more than pushing.

18:13 Dr. Bruce While you're sitting next to, what's her name?

18:15 Adam Kathy?

18:16 Yeah.

18:16 Adam You're 22?

18:18 Caller Yeah.

18:18 Adam What is that?

18:20 Caller You know what? I have a really bad problem with not being able to let go of a guy. It's like...

18:25 Adam Not being able to what a guy?

18:26 Dr. Bruce Let go.

18:27 Adam Let go, okay.

18:28 Caller Yeah, it's like, you know, it's not as though I'm just attracted to anybody, but once I'm attracted to somebody, I really, really like them.

18:36 Adam Not just anybody. He's got to drive the right truck, right?

18:39 Caller Well, you know what I'm saying. I just...

18:41 Dr. Bruce Like Cable Guy style?

18:43 Caller I'm very picky, you know. It's not just, you know, the look or what they do for a living. I mean, you know, it's how they are, you know, all together, you know, if they're well-rounded.

18:52 Adam Right. Okay. And so what happens? What happens? Do they want to break things off and you don't want to let them go?

18:59 Caller Well, yeah. I mean, it's like once it is over or whatever, we always create like some big, like dramatic, you know, ending, you know?

19:06 Adam Yeah.

19:07 Caller It's almost like we can't help but let go of, you know, the situation.

19:11 Adam Yeah. Do you think you create that?

19:14 Caller I must, you know...

19:15 Adam Yeah. Have you ever cheated on a guy?

19:17 Caller Excuse me?

19:18 Adam Have you cheated on a guy?

19:20 Yeah.

19:20 Adam Yeah. So you're into that sabotage and then you get to that drama that you crave, right?

19:26 Right.

19:26 Caller Right.

19:27 Adam All right.

19:28 Caller You know what, John?

19:28 Adam Who's the smart one here?

19:30 Caller Not like...

19:31 Adam All right. So where did that drama come from? Where's daddy?

19:35 Caller He's home, actually. He's retired. He's 53. And I'm still living at home, actually.

19:40 Adam Really? And how do you get along with dad?

19:44 Caller You know what? I have a weird relationship with him. It's like he's really great, but I don't know how to communicate to him. I don't know how to really talk. I mean, sometimes I can get in conversation, but it's not as though I can express my real feelings.

19:57 Adam Yeah, but did... Oh, well, listen, forget about expressing your real feelings. No one should express any real feelings to their parents.

20:02 Dr. Bruce It sounds like she's got a lot of communication problems that she needs to deal with. And you really got to focus on reality. And when you're feeling something, you got to listen to it and go with it. And it sounds like some guys are trying to communicate to you. You got to just listen.

20:14 Adam Yeah, but I would say that when Kathy feels something, not to go with it, because that's what leads you down that path.

20:21 Dr. Bruce Right, right. And it's exciting and you like it at the time, or at some point you do.

20:25 Adam Yeah, but where's this come from, you think? I mean, why the sabotage? Why the chaos? Did your mom and dad fight a lot or something?

20:31 Caller My mom was abusive. I mean, she hit me a lot and my sister as well. And yeah, my sister is just...

20:38 Adam What is she? What nationality is she?

20:40 Caller Italian.

20:41 Adam Yeah, I'm telling you. I was thinking Italian or Puerto Rican. Listen, I'm Italian. I know they're feisty. They're feisty, those guineas. And I can call them anything I want, because finally I got my own nationality. Those are stinking, hairy, filthy whops. Hey, you can say whatever you want about yourself, right? That's the rule. Yeah, they're all feisty. They're very violent. They're very passionate over there. The guys are feisty too, except for they're so drunk you can get away from them. But the women, they're sober. They go after you with a rolling pin or something.

21:15 Dr. Bruce So Cathy, you've got...

21:15 Adam All right, so you got a lot of chaos in your family. Now you create chaos in your relationships.

21:20 Dr. Bruce And you have some insight into it too.

21:22 Adam Well, I got insight into it.

21:23 Dr. Bruce She understands.

21:25 Adam All right, so how about moving out of the house?

21:27 Caller So, I mean, I've been working out those issues, you know, while I'm seeing her. So, I mean, I'm on the right track.

21:33 Adam While you're seeing who?

21:34 Dr. Bruce The therapist.

21:35 Caller The therapist.

21:35 Adam Oh, okay. And what about moving out from under the same roof Mama Celeste is living under?

21:40 Caller Yeah, you know, that's definitely in the near future. In fact, I just graduated college, and I'm going to be a teacher.

21:48 Adam Great.

21:49 Caller In fact, I just-

21:49 Adam You can warp young, fragile minds for the rest of your life.

21:52 Dr. Bruce Are you in a relationship with a guy right now?

21:54 Caller You know what? I'm staying away from guys.

21:56 Dr. Bruce Good.

21:56 Adam Good. Take a little break. Move out of the house. Establish yourself. Stay with your therapy.

22:02 Dr. Bruce Find a girl.

22:02 Dr. Bruce Get a cat.

22:03 Adam Go lesbian.

22:04 Dr. Bruce No.

22:05 Adam Start surfing. Listen, speaking of surfing, by the way, I was just saying to somebody, I'm saying to my partner, the Emmy Award-winning Jimmy Kimmel, yesterday, I think we're talking about the two things I wasn't going to let my kids get into, and I can't remember what the other one was, but one of them was surfing. No, it wasn't drugs. I'd rather them get into drugs, because one comes with the other. No, because all the guys, see you guys are making movies, you're traveling the world, you're making a nice living, fine. But for all the guys I knew who grew up surfing, they can't hold down a job now, because soon as the surf- There they are.

22:46 Dr. Bruce I was just going to say, did you have a Sean Penn?

22:49 Adam Soon as the surf rolls in, they magically quit their job, or they take a week off, or you can't find them. I mean, it is a lifestyle.

22:58 Dr. Bruce Hey, I was surfing Malibu yesterday and today, and there was like 120 guys in the water today. I was thinking, does anyone freaking work anymore?

23:07 Adam Yeah. I mean, right. It's Tuesday, and you're there at noon, and the place is packed, right?

23:12 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

23:12 Adam All guys who called in sick.

23:14 Dr. Bruce It wasn't kids. It was like 30 to 45, 50-year-olds.

23:17 Adam Those are my buddies.

23:18 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

23:18 Adam They're all going to get fired when they roll into work tomorrow.

23:21 Dr. Bruce I know more doctors that surf. Surfers, I think it's a good balance in your life. A lot of people do that.

23:26 Adam I'm telling you.

23:27 Dr. Bruce How many of them smoke pot too?

23:29 Adam They all smoke pot. They all surf. They're still living at home. It becomes a way of life and that's it.

23:35 Dr. Bruce They have more fun than you.

23:36 Adam I know. That's what I hate though. That's the part I hate. I think the joke's on us. I really do. All right. Chris Malloy and Kelly Slater are both here. We're talking about, what the hell is that? Adrenaline Theater, which is something we'll talk about a little more when we come back. And also, we'll talk to Isaiah, who's 21. Oh, I has a question for Kelly about the six world titles after this. Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew, who's a little bit under the weather tonight. Probably a lot under the weather. It takes a lot for that guy not to come in here. Kelly Slater and Chris Malloy are our guests tonight. They are champion surfers, and they're here to promote their new movie. Is it called Adrenaline Theater?

25:06 Dr. Bruce It's called Hit and Run.

25:07 Adam Oh, okay. And it's a part of the Adrenaline Theater series.

25:10 Dr. Bruce It is, yes.

25:11 Adam And it starts August 4th, a couple of days. And Kelly, weren't you supposed to say something about the Orange County?

25:19 Dr. Bruce Chris was.

25:21 Dr. Bruce It's going to be at the Block in Orange. And they got all the guys that are in the film going to be there. And it's going to be a ton of fun. And the film is, hit and run kind of comes from the fact that we made the thing in six months and it was just jump on a plane, hit one spot, and look at the wave map and hit the next spot. So that's basically what it comes down to.

25:41 Adam All the guys are going to be down there in Orange County on August 4th. Correct? Do you have a time?

25:47 Dr. Bruce It is going to, the film is from eight to nine. Everybody's going to be there at seven to, you know, do posters and do the whole thing. Yeah, eight o'clock is when the thing starts.

25:56 Dr. Bruce I wonder if I'll get there at seven.

25:59 Adam Isaiah?

26:00 Caller Yes.

26:00 Adam You got a Crescent for Kelly?

26:02 Caller Yes, I did. How's everybody doing tonight? I just wanted to say that it really is an honor to talk to all you guys, you, Adam, and Kelly and Chris too. And I just wanted to ask Kelly, after winning your six world titles, do you still serve the same? Because I know, for at least for a lot of us, surfing is more than just contest and everything. You still enjoy it as much or probably even more when you're not in a contest. And do you have any plans to ever come back to the tour? Or are you done just serve for fun now? And that's...

26:43 Dr. Bruce Well, thanks for the kind words. No, I'm... I don't know if... I'm just sort of seeing what happens with the World Tour. I didn't like a lot of the format and stuff.

26:55 Caller Right.

26:56 Dr. Bruce To tell you the truth, I lost a lot of my desire. I just... I did a lot of the things I wanted to do competitively.

27:02 Caller Kind of burn out on it?

27:03 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I basically burn out on it. But I get excited now about some of the events, like Pipeline and Trestles coming up, and like Jeffery's Bay or Kira.

27:14 Caller Right, those are the good ones.

27:15 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but I'd say I probably am enjoying my surfing more now because now it's like I'm not getting prepared for a contest or I got to know my equipment. It's just I just go surfing because I want to go surfing.

27:25 Dr. Bruce And I'll vouch for him on if he's still where he was before. We just did a trip down to Mexico, and it usually takes about a year to get a whole segment for one of Taylor Steele's films, and he busted it out in three sessions, and it was pretty mind-blowing. And it was a trip because he hadn't surfed for a month before that, and I was ready for him to be a little shaky, but he hit it hard, and it worked out really well.

27:46 Adam Thanks, Isaiah.

27:47 Dr. Bruce Thanks, Chris.

27:47 Caller Thank you, Adam. Oh, and I do have a job, even though I surf, and it's not around metal. I just wanted to tell you that.

27:54 Adam No, I know. I know. It's not the same mind.

27:56 Dr. Bruce I believe you represent the majority myself.

27:58 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Adam's just full of it.

28:00 Adam No.

28:01 Dr. Bruce I got doctor friends, lawyer friends, like whatever.

28:04 Dr. Bruce I know more doctors that surf than...

28:05 Adam Those are guys who got into surfing later in life. They couldn't have completed school. They wouldn't have finished law school.

28:11 Dr. Bruce Musicians, actors.

28:13 Adam Musicians, actors, no problem.

28:15 Dr. Bruce Burnouts. We got the whole range.

28:18 Adam Now you're getting it. All right. Let's talk to Devin.

28:22 Dr. Bruce Drug dealers.

28:23 Adam Yes.

28:24 Hey, guys.

28:25 Adam Devin, you're 14. What's up?

28:28 Caller Nothing much. I can't tell what sexuality I am right now.

28:32 Dr. Bruce Kelly will help you.

28:33 Caller You're gay. No, I'm not.

28:36 Dr. Bruce That's because you're still in neutral. You're 14. You don't have to know.

28:41 Caller Well, I don't know.

28:43 Dr. Bruce It's normal when you're 14 to...

28:45 Adam Hold on. Listen, Bruce, just because you didn't figure it out to your 28th birthday doesn't mean everyone is this way. It's not normal. 14-year-old girls are supposed to be boy crazy.

28:55 Dr. Bruce It's like a mother issue, isn't it?

28:57 Dr. Bruce She's probably boy and girl crazy.

28:58 Adam What are you into?

28:59 Caller That's right.

29:01 Dr. Bruce I get...

29:02 Caller Okay. I've never had a crush on a girl, but I'm really into girl porn, you know?

29:08 Adam Oh, wait a second. Here we go.

29:09 Dr. Bruce I called you.

29:10 Adam 14.

29:11 Dr. Bruce That's cool.

29:12 Adam What then? How much girl porn do you have?

29:17 Caller I don't know, like a whole bunch of discs.

29:19 Dr. Bruce Is it your mom's?

29:20 Caller What?

29:20 Dr. Bruce Is it your mom's? Where are you getting this?

29:23 Caller It's not like...

29:24 Dr. Bruce You mean you just like watching the girls get their thing done?

29:28 Caller Yeah, like on the Internet and stuff.

29:30 Dr. Bruce Okay.

29:30 Dr. Bruce Great thing, the Internet.

29:31 Dr. Bruce Have you acted out sexually with other people or is it just the pornography?

29:35 Caller Yeah, it's just pornography.

29:37 Dr. Bruce Well, that's not a just... And this is tough to hear at age 14 and you're already into this, but there's a very strong stimulation that occurs when you watch pornography and it's not healthy for you. What's that?

29:50 Caller Whether it's girls or guys.

29:52 Dr. Bruce Yeah, at 14 and the stuff that's out there these days if you're getting the DVDs or whatever you're getting is very out there stuff and it's not good for you. But I'm telling a 14 year old and I'm sort of doubtful. Listen, the question is where are your parents? Where are the people that are supposed to be sort of keeping an eye on what's going on?

30:11 Caller My parents caught me one time. I kept a whole bunch of pornography under my bed and they found it. I wasn't allowed on the Internet for a long time but finally they let me on.

30:21 Dr. Bruce Right. For something that feels good, it's hard. No, it's not good for her.

30:25 Adam I know but it's too late. She's already in.

30:27 Dr. Bruce You know what? It messes with your head. Right. Because I don't mind watching videos or whatever but I notice that when I've done it more, then my brain is kind of messed up.

30:38 Dr. Bruce How old are you?

30:39 Dr. Bruce I'm 28. Yeah. I mean. No, but I was watching it when I was 15 or whatever.

30:43 Dr. Bruce It sounds to me like she's just in an age where she's just mischievous and she was having fun. You can hear it in her voice that she just is trying to do something different.

30:51 Caller Listen, I don't like porno that has guys in them. Guys' bodies freak me out but I have a crush on like everyone.

30:56 Adam You're gay. All right, Drew, that's Drew from home. All right, listen, hey, Devon, who knows? Just take it slow, would you?

31:06 Dr. Bruce No, you were molested. Nothing happened in the past.

31:09 Caller What?

31:10 Dr. Bruce Nothing happened to you in the past.

31:12 Caller I used to have sex with my cousin when I was like really little.

31:14 Adam Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. What was he in his 30s?

31:18 Caller How old was he? She's a girl. We were just playing around.

31:22 Adam Oh, well there you have it.

31:23 There you go.

31:24 Adam You got that lesbian scene planted in you early. That's what that is.

31:28 Dr. Bruce Lesbian scene?

31:29 Dr. Bruce Do your parents have an idea how much you're into the pornography?

31:33 Caller I don't know. I don't think that they think I do it anymore, but I totally do.

31:37 Dr. Bruce Okay. Is there an adult you trust that you can talk to a school counselor or somebody like that?

31:42 Adam No, you kidding, Bruce? I'm not kidding. What fantasy land do you come from? Nobody's going to talk. I wouldn't talk to my school counselor about school business, let alone pornography.

31:51 Dr. Bruce Every time I listen to this or I watch the show, I laugh because there's people that they're going, all these people don't know I do this. I'm like, well, they do now. Everyone knows now, right?

32:02 Adam Yeah. Well, if you can tell us, you can tell a counselor. Listen, she's not going to tell a school counselor. She's not going to tell a priest.

32:09 Dr. Bruce What you tell her?

32:10 Adam She has to exercise a little self-control. I'll tell you this.

32:12 Dr. Bruce In adolescent medicine, I see teenagers and they do discuss these things. And an adult that a teenager is comfortable with, teenagers will disclose stuff.

32:20 Adam They just have to trust her. So what if she talks to them about it? What are they going to say? Knock it off.

32:24 Dr. Bruce No. She has other issues and if she could get to a counselor, get somebody that was here on a regular basis.

32:30 Adam I'll agree with that.

32:32 Dr. Bruce A friend of mine, she's 18 or something. She goes out with a friend of mine. She goes out with a guy now, but she had a girlfriend from the time she was 14 to 16. And she's just kind of all over the map too. But I think she likes guys now. She kind of worked it out.

32:44 Adam Yeah. She'll be back. But here's my point. I agree with Bruce in that whatever went on with your cousin once upon a time is probably fueling this now. And you should talk to somebody about that, not about necessarily the byproduct of that, which is the love of pornography. Let me tell you a little story that happened today, fellas, about my... It was kind of serendipity porno story here. I went over to a house I'm building, right? The construction site. One of the guys brought a big bag of porn for me. Big shopping bag with about ten movies.

33:21 Dr. Bruce Is that a regular occurrence? Instead of bringing you lunch, they brought you...

33:25 Adam Well, this son of a bitch, you know what he would do? He would steal pornos from my house when he was working on my house, and then every six months or so, he'd go, I brought you a bag of porn. And I'd say, hey, Dave, thanks a lot. And I'd start looking through it, and I'd go, wait a minute, I know this one. Wait a minute, this is mine. And these are all mine. There'd be one, you know, 50 plus job in there.

33:50 Dr. Bruce He's a regifter, but he forgot he got this gift from you.

33:53 Adam Right. He recycled the porn that he stole from my house. So I got this thing. There's a lot of stairs to get from my garage to my front door. And I got a thing about thoroughly. I check everything in my garage like it's customs, because I know once I lug it up to my house, it ain't getting back out of my house. So my new policy is if it's some junk, I'm not bringing it in the house. So I check everything in the garage. So I had about 20 of these porn movies, and I was just going through them. And I was like, I remember that one, I remember that one, I remember that one. And then there's some titles, Midget Stump, this and that. I was like, no, I'm not going to watch that one. And I got the one, the title. I don't remember what the title was, but it seemed intriguing. It winked at me. It was like the force was with me. And I went, this is mine. This is a good one, I thought to myself. And I took that one and I left all the other ones down in the garage because I'll just give them to, you know, whoever comes by. That guy. Kids, that guy.

34:49 Dr. Bruce Dave, I'll be the only one to run.

34:50 Dr. Bruce Halloween's coming up.

34:52 Adam I went upstairs. That's right. You run out of Snickers bars, you start giving out hardcore porn. I ran up to the house. I popped the thing in and it was one of my favorite gals right in the middle of a wonderful gangbang scene. I thought, wow, this is a good sign. It is. Yeah. Some people say there's no God. I challenge that statement now. One of my favorite chicks right in the middle of a great scene. I was watching that and then producer Ann called. I think, what time is that? About 4 o'clock you called today? Producer Ann called me 19 times today, but one of them was about 4 o'clock, right in the middle of watching this movie.

35:33 Dr. Bruce Was it like your mother had walked in on you?

35:34 Adam I didn't pick the phone up. I looked at it and I went, Ann, boy. All right, I'll see you tonight. I got to be honest with you, Ann. You didn't have anything to say. I figured you'd say whatever you had to say in the message and I'd listen to it next.

35:47 Dr. Bruce I got an autograph from Ron Jeremy once. My little brother got it for me. He saw him somewhere and got an autograph and it said, Kelly, I can't wait to meet you, M-E-A-T.

35:56 Adam You can only see it if you hold a black light up to it.

35:59 Dr. Bruce Is it his intellect or something else that makes him famous?

36:03 Adam Janee, Janee.

36:04 Dr. Bruce It was the Fat Chick series.

36:06 Adam He's a very intelligent man.

36:08 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

36:08 Adam Janee, what's up?

36:11 Dr. Bruce Whenever I give oral sex.

36:13 Adam How old is she? Sixteen. Yeah.

36:17 Dr. Bruce When I give oral sex, like a while after, like in the next day, I get like a breakout on my face.

36:25 Adam No way. Me too. Oh, this is oral sex to guys?

36:32 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Yeah.

36:34 Adam What's that?

36:35 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

36:36 Adam I see.

36:37 Dr. Bruce Little girl voice.

36:40 Adam And how often does this happen?

36:42 Dr. Bruce What do you mean? Oh, it's like I've noticed it happening almost like every time afterwards.

36:49 Dr. Bruce How often is every time?

36:51 Dr. Bruce We wait, huh?

36:52 Dr. Bruce Once a week.

36:53 Adam All right. Hold on a second. We've got to go to commercial eight. Janie? Once you take some cold water and splash it on your face or something.

37:01 Dr. Bruce Are you getting any on you?

37:02 Caller What?

37:04 Adam How often does this happen? How many times does this happen?

37:08 Dr. Bruce Four times.

37:09 Adam Four times? Same penis? Well, that's refreshing. Maybe it's the one guy.

37:14 Dr. Bruce It's a bad batch.

37:16 Dr. Bruce She's at an age when she thinks everything is giving her, it's in her mind.

37:19 Right.

37:24 Adam What do you do with the semen when it comes down the pike there? Do you spit it out?

37:34 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

37:34 Adam Does it get on you?

37:36 Dr. Bruce No.

37:37 Adam All right. That's good. All right.

37:39 Dr. Bruce Why?

37:40 Adam I'm just curious if that's the cause.

37:42 Dr. Bruce You're not going to ask her any other.

37:43 Adam Semen could clog pores.

37:45 Caller What?

37:46 Dr. Bruce Like where? Like on my face?

37:48 Adam Yeah. That's what I was getting at.

37:49 Dr. Bruce Okay. No one doesn't.

37:51 Dr. Bruce Are you scared of getting caught and maybe you feel nervous, so you have a little outbreak or something?

37:56 Adam Very good point. Now, there's no correlation here, Janey.

37:59 Dr. Bruce There's nervousness due to outbreaks.

38:03 Adam Okay. Hey, Janey. Yes. How are you doing in school, sister?

38:07 Dr. Bruce I'm doing pretty good.

38:08 Adam Really? All right.

38:10 Dr. Bruce Why?

38:11 Dr. Bruce How old are your boyfriends? Have you had any kind of, were you ever molested? Anything happened?

38:15 Dr. Bruce I never had a boyfriend.

38:17 Dr. Bruce You haven't?

38:17 Dr. Bruce Just like my friend, though.

38:19 Adam Just your friend?

38:20 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

38:21 Adam Okay.

38:21 Dr. Bruce I've never had a boyfriend.

38:22 Adam Well, what about him being your boyfriend?

38:25 Dr. Bruce He's not.

38:26 Adam Yeah, I know, but what?

38:28 Dr. Bruce Just give blowjobs to any guy you meet?

38:31 Dr. Bruce No, my friend. He's my best friend.

38:33 Dr. Bruce But you know what, sort of that kind of intimacy is usually, it's sort of part of an intimate relationship, and it's not something you do with friends. So it's fringe benefits for him it is, but not for her. And it sounds, it just, in talking to you here, I think Adam's picking up on something.

38:50 Adam If you want to call it talking, I'm talking almost a Mongoloid type stupidity here. Janie?

38:57 Yeah?

38:58 Adam Listen, this guy may be taking advantage of you. How old is he?

39:02 Dr. Bruce 16.

39:03 Adam And don't you like him?

39:06 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

39:06 Adam You do? Why don't you see about making him your boyfriend?

39:10 Dr. Bruce We made an agreement that we weren't going to become boyfriend and girlfriend.

39:15 Dr. Bruce He's a pretty smart guy.

39:16 Adam This guy's a genius. That's great. He probably has that agreement going on with a few girls.

39:22 Dr. Bruce No, but that was my idea.

39:23 Adam Oh, it was your idea?

39:25 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Yeah.

39:25 Adam Why? Okay. Okay. Hold on a second though. But you said you'd like to be his boyfriend, wouldn't you?

39:31 Dr. Bruce No, I didn't say that.

39:32 Adam I mean his girlfriend. No?

39:33 Dr. Bruce No, I didn't say that.

39:34 Adam Why wouldn't you? I mean, you're best friends with the guy. You're no stranger to his penis.

39:40 Dr. Bruce I feel all weird because we've been friends since we were like seven.

39:43 Adam I know, but isn't it weird to then put his penis in your mouth? Isn't that sort of strange?

39:49 Dr. Bruce No.

39:49 Adam No?

39:50 Dr. Bruce No.

39:50 Adam Okay. Where were you when I was in high school, by the way? Besides not being born.

39:55 Dr. Bruce She wasn't born.

39:55 Adam No, I mean, hold on a second, Janie. Where are these girls?

39:58 Where were they?

40:01 Adam There were none of these girls when I was in high school. Yes, there were. No, there were not. Now you serve.

40:05 Dr. Bruce It's the guys that are lawyers today that were making arrangements like this when you were in school.

40:09 Adam All right, listen, we got to take a break. I want to get a little more in with Janie when we come back because she's scaring me after this.

40:17 Caller 1-800-LOVE-191.

40:51 Adam It is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Bruce over there, filming for Dr. Drew, and we do appreciate him coming out here on very short notice, although it makes us feel he's desperate. swell.com is where you can find our guests tonight, Kelly Slater and Chris Malloy, both big time surfers, and on the 4th of August, you can check out Adrenaline Theater, Hit and Run is the name of the first in the series, the best surfing movie ever made.

41:20 Dr. Bruce Can I plug something else real quick?

41:22 Adam Sure.

41:23 Dr. Bruce I got to say thanks to my friends at Toyota of Orange.

41:25 Adam What do they do?

41:26 Dr. Bruce Well, every time I'm here, they give me cars to drive.

41:28 Adam Oh, really?

41:29 Dr. Bruce Yeah. So I don't have to pay for rental cars and all that stuff. They just show up, here's a car, Kel. So I have to say thanks to my friends Bill Dinney and Bobba Lou.

41:38 Adam Bobba Lou.

41:39 Dr. Bruce Robert Ballou. So we call him, it's just Bobba Lou.

41:41 Adam The unfortunate part is he's driving a 84 TourCelt.

41:45 Dr. Bruce Well, you didn't have to mention that, did you?

41:47 Adam 270,000 miles on it.

41:48 Dr. Bruce I'm just going to talk about my car sponsor. When I'm home, I just steal my brother's car. I have two little brothers and it doesn't really matter what they say. They're clothing, they're everything they own.

41:57 Adam I would like to put a plea out to Toyota of Orange to drop the, well, you won't get a lemon. I would have got a lemon.

42:05 Dr. Bruce We can officially do that right now.

42:06 Adam That was not funny or intelligent the first time I heard it, and that was 10,000 times ago. Please write a new theme song.

42:15 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but how many times has it gotten stuck in your head while you're watching porn?

42:20 Adam I'm now forming a political action group, and we're going to try to bring down Cal Worthington and Pete Ellis Dodge as well, with the Long Beach Freeway Firestone Exit South Gate thing.

42:31 Dr. Bruce Are there any intelligent, good TV car commercials?

42:34 Adam No, not cars. No, that's true. Janie? All right, there, you little menza member, you. Now, you have this best friend, and you ingest his semen or you spit it out?

42:49 Dr. Bruce I spit it out.

42:50 Adam Okay. So why would that cause acne on you?

42:54 Dr. Bruce I don't know. That's why I'm calling.

42:55 Adam All right. Well, the answer is it wouldn't. You're 16 and you're a good candidate for zit once in a while, just like all of us were at 16.

43:03 Dr. Bruce Because it gets really bad like a day after, you know, like a week and so.

43:08 Adam Well, how often are you doing this?

43:11 Dr. Bruce I've done it like six, seven times.

43:14 Adam How often? Is it twice a week?

43:18 Dr. Bruce Like once a week.

43:19 Adam Once a week. All right. Why don't you take a couple of weeks off and see what happens?

43:24 Dr. Bruce Okay.

43:25 Dr. Bruce All right. Maybe it's not acne. You can be allergic to that fluid. But I think-

43:30 Adam Are you having sex with them?

43:31 Dr. Bruce No.

43:32 Adam No sex?

43:33 Dr. Bruce You've never had sex with anybody?

43:34 Dr. Bruce No, I'm a virgin.

43:35 Adam Why aren't you having sex with them?

43:38 Dr. Bruce Because I'm scared.

43:39 Adam Okay. Good.

43:40 Dr. Bruce Go with that. Go with that.

43:42 Adam Good.

43:43 Dr. Bruce Janie, listen. We're concerned about you. I don't know if you're picking that up from the way we're talking to you. But there's a concern about what you're doing with this guy. And it sounds like it feels okay. But just because something feels okay doesn't mean it's necessarily okay or good for you.

43:57 Dr. Bruce And if it's your best friend, talk to them about it.

44:00 Dr. Bruce Yeah. You're learning that to be in a friendship with a guy, it goes along with doing something really intimate and sexual. And that's going to get you in a lot more trouble later on. You set up patterns of behavior. So it may seem okay. But he's using you.

44:13 Dr. Bruce So you're saying that it's wrong for us not to be going out?

44:19 Dr. Bruce You're not going out.

44:20 Dr. Bruce It's wrong to be intimate with somebody that you don't have an intimate relationship.

44:24 Adam And if you're not getting paid. That's true. I agree with you. Yeah.

44:28 Dr. Bruce If you.

44:29 Dr. Bruce Does it. You understand?

44:30 Dr. Bruce It's wrong that we're just friends?

44:32 Dr. Bruce No. You know, listen, we're not.

44:35 Adam Listen, I can't turn this into a hooked on god damn phonics session. I can't save everyone out there. Just see if you can stop giving a guy a BJ for a couple of weeks.

44:46 Dr. Bruce Solvable problem.

44:47 Adam What's that? What do you say Anderson? Can you say something? Yeah.

44:50 I think she is special.

44:51 Dr. Bruce There is a solvable problem. He's been on the line for 59 minutes.

44:56 Adam That's nothing.

44:56 Dr. Bruce We can fix that.

44:57 Adam James?

44:59 Caller Yeah?

44:59 Adam You're 14?

45:00 Caller 15.

45:01 Adam All right. What's up, champ?

45:03 Caller When I masturbate, I'll ejaculate. And then like 10, 15 minutes later, I won't have an orgasm or just the sperm will just start coming out.

45:13 Adam Yeah. Just starts sort of leaking out.

45:15 Dr. Bruce Post ejaculation?

45:17 Caller I'm not sure.

45:18 Adam 10, 15 minutes later, huh?

45:21 Caller Like about 10, 15, 20 minutes later, it'll just start coming out.

45:24 Dr. Bruce Are you on any medications?

45:26 Caller No.

45:26 Dr. Bruce Okay. You're 14 and that problem will...

45:30 Adam It will? You better hope it will. Yeah.

45:32 Dr. Bruce Well, just don't masturbate like 10, 15, 20 minutes before you have to go somewhere important.

45:37 Dr. Bruce Unload that gun way before you leave the house.

45:39 Adam Hey, James?

45:41 Caller Yeah.

45:41 Adam How often do you do it a day?

45:43 Caller I do it once a day, but not every day.

45:47 Adam Well, actually it's more like two and a half times a day, right, because the 15 minutes later rolls out again. Can you feel it coming out of you?

45:55 Caller Sometimes.

45:56 Adam Yeah.

45:57 Dr. Bruce Sometimes it happens normally, because there is retrograde ejaculation in that.

46:02 Adam How about you just stuff a little toilet paper down your shorts before you leave the house?

46:08 Dr. Bruce Depends.

46:09 Adam You have gum in your penis. Yeah, gum. I forgot about that.

46:13 Dr. Bruce A surf wax.

46:13 Adam Listen, I just came up with an idea. A lot of guys do a lot of dribbling in the penis. What's wrong with a little penis beanie, a little camp, a little-

46:21 Dr. Bruce So we would call it a peenie?

46:23 Adam Yeah, a little peenie. Yeah. You just put your sponsor on the side of it or something. Just something you pop over your penis, keeps it warm.

46:30 Dr. Bruce Like the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

46:32 Adam Right. Offers a certain degree of protection to the junk and any dripping or any fluid that might come out of there.

46:40 Dr. Bruce Retrograde ejaculation.

46:41 Adam Yeah. Anything that may be coming down the flume is going to get absorbed by this thing. You throw it, it's washable. You toss it right in the wash at the end of the day. Maybe you get a few. You rotate them. During the summer you do like a cotton one. During the winter there's a wool one.

46:57 Dr. Bruce Well, they could be lubed inside too.

46:59 Adam Lubed, lubed. Right. It feels better. And it fills out the package.

47:03 Dr. Bruce I have a name for the product. The Corolla Cap.

47:05 Adam We already came up with the Peeny. Where were you?

47:08 Dr. Bruce peeny.com.

47:09 Dr. Bruce It could be the Corolla Peeny.

47:11 Dr. Bruce It would be similar based on his anatomy.

47:13 Adam We will take ourselves a little break when we come back. We will talk to Mike. He wants to know if it's wrong to let his dog watch him masturbate. After.

47:24 Loveline, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, we'll be right back.

48:08 Adam No, it's a horrible idea.

48:11 Dr. Bruce I think it's a good idea. How do they sound?

48:13 Adam It's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla, that is Dr. Drew. Kelly Slater's here. He just brought a bag of extra loud Funyuns and Doritos into the studio. This is going to be a disaster. Chris Malloy is also here, both the champion surfers here to promote the new movie that they're in. It's part of the Adrenaline Theater series, and it's called The Hit and Run, and it hits theaters August 4th, and you can log on to swell.com and find out more information and see where the world's greatest surfing movie is coming to a theater near you. All right. Now, let's get back to the phones and speak to Mike. Mike is 18. Mike? Hi.

48:57 Caller Hi, Dr. Bruce, Mr. Corolla. Love your work on The Man Show.

49:00 Adam Thank you.

49:01 Caller What's up, guys? All right. All right. I have a question now.

49:03 Adam Yeah.

49:04 Caller Well, I've come a long way in my masturbation escapades.

49:08 Adam Sure.

49:08 Caller You know, from, you know, you know, you lotion to Vaseline.

49:12 Adam Right.

49:12 Caller You know, I'll hold my couch.

49:13 Adam Right.

49:14 Caller Or I've got one of those giant teddy bears that you wanted to fair, you know what I'm talking about?

49:17 Adam No.

49:18 Dr. Bruce You're a messed up kid.

49:20 Adam All right, Mike, please. We don't have time for these bogus calls.

49:22 Dr. Bruce Creative kid.

49:23 Dr. Bruce What's the problem?

49:24 Caller Hold on. Anyway, lately, I've been getting into condiments like honey or chocolate syrup or sometimes Cool Whip.

49:29 Adam Nice.

49:30 Caller Now, my dog. We don't have any locked doors in my house.

49:32 Adam You let him lick it off?

49:34 Dr. Bruce I'm not buying this call.

49:35 Caller Hold on. So my dog.

49:36 Adam I don't either. I am letting him go. Your dog watches you?

49:40 Caller Yeah. Come on and watch me. That's cool of it. But what I want to know, chocolate syrup bad for dogs if they eat it?

49:45 Adam No.

49:46 Dr. Bruce No, chocolate's bad for dogs. If dogs eat enough, yeah. And it depends on the type of chocolate.

49:50 Adam What about if they just lick it off a penis?

49:52 Dr. Bruce It's very bad.

49:53 Adam Really?

49:53 Dr. Bruce It's bad for both the owner and the dog.

49:56 Dr. Bruce It's really bad on the dog's soul.

49:58 Dr. Bruce No, Mike, seriously.

49:58 Dr. Bruce Don't worry about your dog. Worry about yourself. You're twisted.

50:01 Dr. Bruce There's a chemical in chocolate, and I think dark chocolate's worse, that is toxic to dogs.

50:07 Adam Really?

50:07 Dr. Bruce Yeah, it's true.

50:08 Dr. Bruce I think it's a bogus call.

50:10 Dr. Bruce Well, yeah.

50:10 Adam Oh, it is.

50:11 Dr. Bruce I don't think his dog's eaten any chocolate.

50:13 Adam But just in general, don't feed your dog.

50:15 Dr. Bruce I think he's the dog.

50:17 Adam Nicole?

50:18 Yes. Hi, Adam.

50:19 Adam You're 19. What's up?

50:21 Caller I totally love you guys. Before I answer my question, I just want to say that Kelly, I doubt you remember this, but you did my voicemail last year at the-

50:28 Dr. Bruce At Huntington Surf and Sport? I don't remember that at all.

50:33 Caller Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. My friends are bugging me to change it and I love it so much. Chris, I brought a-

50:38 Dr. Bruce Wait, you still have it?

50:40 Caller Yeah, definitely.

50:41 Dr. Bruce It's strange.

50:42 Adam Yeah, let's hear it.

50:43 Dr. Bruce Let's call it.

50:44 Caller Okay.

50:45 I'll give you the-

50:46 Adam Now, why don't you just do it on your, do you have like call waiting or something?

50:52 Caller Well, I'm on my cell phone right now.

50:54 Adam All right. Listen, it's not that big a deal. We got Kelly here. He can recreate it if we want.

50:58 Caller Okay. Yeah, it's cool. But it's so funny. Also, Chris, I took a picture of you and me and I asked you to sign it this year.

51:08 Adam He wanted 10 bucks? No.

51:10 Caller I appreciate it. Anyway, I'm a surfer and I wanted to know, if you guys think that women like Lisa Anderson, and Tita Tavares, and Lane Beachley have stepped up the level of women surfing to the point that you think that they could start competing with men sometime in the future, and legitimately competing with men.

51:33 Adam All right. We'll put you on hold because your line's a little fuzzy. But what do you think, guys?

51:37 Dr. Bruce I hate to be totally chauvinistic, but I don't think so.

51:40 Adam No. No.

51:41 Dr. Bruce I just think it's a, no, it's just a strength issue.

51:45 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Women have strong points. They definitely, they have got a ton of grace, and they have a whole way about them. But as far as the things that the men are doing, who knows? But it'll be a while.

51:58 Dr. Bruce It's just like Martina Hingis returning Pete Sampras serve or something.

52:03 Adam Right. I'm with you. And what about, are there any women who surf big surf?

52:09 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

52:10 Dr. Bruce Yeah. There's a few. Lane Beachley charges big waves.

52:13 Really?

52:13 Adam Oh, man.

52:14 Dr. Bruce Yeah. There's- No, but I wouldn't say to the level that a hundred guys in the world do.

52:20 Right.

52:20 Adam Right.

52:21 Dr. Bruce But compared to all the other women, it's a total step.

52:23 Adam Listen, say no more. Women are inferior. I know what you're talking about. But what about that one model? That one is a model is really hot.

52:30 Dr. Bruce Malia?

52:30 Adam Malia?

52:31 Dr. Bruce Yeah. She charges. She charges harder than, I'd say, 80% of the guys I know that talk trash.

52:37 Dr. Bruce Really?

52:38 Dr. Bruce Yeah. I live right next to her in Hawaii, Rocky Point, Big Wave, Reef.

52:41 Dr. Bruce I'm not buying the 80% thing.

52:43 Dr. Bruce Of your friends at home in Florida, all your friends? I mean, think about it. You're talking about top 44.

52:48 Dr. Bruce Like Baron Knowlton.

52:49 Dr. Bruce Baron Knowlton?

52:51 Adam Baron Von Knowlton?

52:52 Dr. Bruce Honestly, honestly, she charges. She really, I mean, look at her knees are covered up in scar. She goes, I've seen her in Big Sur.

52:57 Adam That's not from Sur. Believe me.

52:59 Dr. Bruce Forget about it. No, seriously, she goes.

53:01 Adam I'm with you. I'm going to go home and masturbate to that. Believe me. I'll be doing my own paddle and out.

53:07 Dr. Bruce Looks like you wanted my picture.

53:08 Adam Jeff? You're 15. What's up?

53:11 Caller 16.

53:12 Adam All right. I don't know why this keeps happening tonight, but whatever the screen, maybe everyone celebrates their birthday on this show. All right. What's up there, Jeff? Yeah, Adam.

53:21 Caller Dude, I love you, man.

53:22 Adam Thanks, man. I love you. I love you, man. I love you.

53:26 Caller Really, you're the man.

53:27 Adam No, I'm not.

53:28 Dr. Bruce I love that Dr. Drew, but you're gay. Can you do that, Dr. Bruce?

53:31 Adam You're gay.

53:32 Caller Too bad Dr. Drew isn't there.

53:34 Adam Yeah, it really is a shame.

53:36 Caller He's awesome.

53:37 Adam Yeah, I love him.

53:38 Dr. Bruce No, man. You're awesome, man.

53:41 Caller Hey, surfers.

53:42 Dr. Bruce What's up, man?

53:43 Caller My friend is starting to surf and everything, and he wanted me to call up and see what's up and how you could start, and how you get started on the whole thing.

53:53 Dr. Bruce Go ahead, Kelly.

53:54 Dr. Bruce Advice for someone just starting to surf?

53:57 Yeah. You're at best advice.

53:59 Dr. Bruce Don't bodyboard.

54:00 No.

54:01 Dr. Bruce Don't bodyboard. Never. Go straight to surfing.

54:03 Adam Right. Then just get a surfboard and go surf, right?

54:06 Dr. Bruce Do it all day long every day.

54:07 Adam Should you start with a longboard?

54:08 Dr. Bruce You should start with a longerboard, yeah. Like something.

54:11 Adam But not a longboard, per se.

54:13 Dr. Bruce Maybe a longboard. Something stable you can get going on.

54:16 Dr. Bruce It's not about just getting up on a plank and running. It's about becoming familiar with the ocean. When you come familiar with the ocean, it's a cakewalk.

54:23 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Just pay attention to what's happening with the waves and the weight breaks and the bottom and stuff like that. All right.

54:29 Adam Let's hear a few Drew drops, by the way. Whenever Drew isn't here, I usually forget. But actually, this kid reminded me to do this. I love these out of context Drew drops. Anderson, play me a few of my favorites, would you?

54:43 This is from tonight, why you can't come in.

54:45 Adam Oh, really?

54:45 Painful erection that will not go away.

54:47 Adam Oh, really? I see.

54:49 I'm in pain.

54:50 My breasts hurt.

54:52 Caller Can I say that?

54:54 Caller Cornhole.

54:56 Caller He is a world class dick.

54:58 Adam Did he say cornhole?

54:58 If anything, I want to be dominated.

55:00 Adam Did he say cornhole?

55:01 Caller Cornhole.

55:04 Dr. Bruce Hey, I'm doing drugs.

55:05 I'm a prostitute. I'm a stripper. I've had five billion relationships. I don't know whether I'm gay or straight. I'm in my 30s. I live in an urban center, and I'm having sex.

55:14 Dr. Bruce I got a dog I want you to meet.

55:16 Jizz guzzling.

55:17 Dr. Bruce Oh my god.

55:18 Dr. Bruce That's a new one.

55:21 Caller I'm a rapist.

55:22 Caller Oh.

55:23 Dr. Bruce Did you rape yourself?

55:25 Adam He didn't know the mic was on for the rapist. Sit your moist ass down. I think he's talking to me.

55:31 I was bored, so I had my tongue pierced.

55:33 Caller I was bored, so I put a spear through my penis.

55:36 Caller Where's your penis?

55:38 Adam It's in your ass, Drew.

55:40 Caller What do you think you're talking to?

55:43 Adam Give me one more. What is that? Faggot Better Run.

55:49 Faggot Better Run?

55:53 Adam That's my all-time favorite, Drew Threat.

55:56 Caller They don't get old.

55:57 Caller Sometimes I'm scared because he's very active.

55:59 Caller He gives me oral sex. I just give him the hand.

56:05 Dr. Bruce This is like laughter therapy. He should start laughter therapy class and just sell tapes over.

56:11 Dr. Bruce Am I supposed to be holding up some standard here for Drew?

56:15 Adam Hey Anderson, remind me to play the Drew Boogie or the Drew Shuffle sometime before the night is true, right? All right. Don't let me forget that. We'll hump back on the phones and speak to Brandy. Brandy is 16. Brandy?

56:28 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

56:28 Adam What's up?

56:29 Dr. Bruce Nothing.

56:30 Okay.

56:31 Dr. Bruce She sounds 7.

56:32 Dr. Bruce Huh?

56:33 Adam Uh-oh. Go ahead, baby.

56:34 Dr. Bruce Okay. When me and my boyfriend have sex, he like sticks his fingers at my butt. Cool.

56:40 Dr. Bruce I see.

56:40 Adam Maybe he loses keys or something.

56:45 Dr. Bruce How old's your boyfriend?

56:46 Dr. Bruce 17.

56:47 Dr. Bruce How long have you been having sex?

56:49 Two months.

56:51 Dr. Bruce Is he your first partner?

56:53 Dr. Bruce My second.

56:54 Adam You sound real young. That's always a bad thing. Yeah. Anything happen to you when you were younger?

57:00 Dr. Bruce I was raped.

57:01 Adam I see.

57:02 Dr. Bruce How old were you?

57:03 Dr. Bruce I was 14.

57:05 Adam Before that?

57:07 Dr. Bruce No.

57:08 Adam Huh?

57:08 Dr. Bruce Nothing.

57:09 Adam Little something? Light molesting?

57:12 Dr. Bruce Nope.

57:13 Adam No. And who raped you when you were 14?

57:16 Dr. Bruce One of my friends' friends.

57:19 Adam I see. And did you ever prosecute that person?

57:22 Dr. Bruce No.

57:22 Adam No. Why not?

57:24 Dr. Bruce I was scared.

57:25 Adam Okay. Now really, was your dad, did your dad do some drinking or something? Huh?

57:31 Dr. Bruce No.

57:31 Adam Where's your dad?

57:32 Dr. Bruce You assume because she was raped that something happened in her family?

57:35 Adam No. Yeah. Good. Good. No. No, seriously. I know this is an opinion that's not a real popular one, but people who call this show, and I don't know about the rest of society, people call the show have the little girl voice especially, who got raped by a friend at 14. Usually something led them into that situation, whether it was molestation or abusive dad or something. Not that it was not her fault, but coincidentally they got themselves into a situation and there's usually something that precedes that. So Brandy, what would precede that? You like your dad?

58:17 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

58:18 Adam You do?

58:19 Dr. Bruce Yeah, he's my dad.

58:20 Adam He's your dad. Are your parents together?

58:24 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

58:24 Adam Yeah. And he never hit you or did anything?

58:27 Dr. Bruce No.

58:28 Adam No. And he doesn't drink or anything? No. And nobody, no babysitter, no cousin, never any contact with anybody?

58:36 Caller No.

58:38 Dr. Bruce Seriously.

58:39 Adam What happened when you were 14 then?

58:42 Dr. Bruce Me and a couple of my friends went to the fair, and then we went up to a field, and that's when it happened.

58:51 Adam And did you try to get the guy off you and kick and scream and stuff?

58:55 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

58:56 Adam And he didn't do it? And how old was he?

58:59 Dr. Bruce 17.

59:00 Adam And you didn't want to call the cops or anything?

59:03 Dr. Bruce Scared.

59:04 Adam Scared of what?

59:05 Dr. Bruce I don't know. I was young.

59:08 Dr. Bruce That's a very intimidating thing, and then you're afraid when you tell people they're going to say, oh, you wanted it or you're going to throw it on yourself.

59:14 Adam I understand. All right. I'm not getting to anything, but I know there's something here. What's your dad do for a living?

59:19 Dr. Bruce He's an inspector.

59:20 Adam Aha! Aha what? I don't know. What's he inspect?

59:25 Caller Roofs.

59:26 Adam What'd she say?

59:27 Dr. Bruce Roofs.

59:28 Adam Oh, well, there you go. He's around talking.

59:30 Dr. Bruce So, Brandy, you know why Adam's asking you all these questions?

59:32 Adam No.

59:33 Dr. Bruce Okay. Your voice, you sound very young. You've been a victim. You were raped when you were 14, and you've got an issue about something your boyfriend is doing to you now that you don't like, and you're asking us how to get him not to do it.

59:46 Adam Sometimes you like it.

59:47 Dr. Bruce Sometimes you like it.

59:47 Dr. Bruce Let him know.

59:48 Dr. Bruce The issue is when you sound really young like that, you've got some of the characteristics of the way you're talking. Many of the people that call in here have been abused or violated or had something done to them when they were much younger.

1:00:02 Adam All right, but that's not her, right, Brandy? That's not her.

1:00:04 Dr. Bruce She's saying it's not her. But it's real important that you talk to somebody. You know, the whole thing, when bad things happen when you're younger like this, you tend to say, well, I can move on with it. There are adults that will tell you, just pull up your bootstraps. Just deal with it. Deal with it and get on with your life. But it doesn't work that way. It doesn't sound like you've been to a counselor. You've talked to anybody about that extensively or have you?

1:00:25 Dr. Bruce I talked to my boyfriend about it.

1:00:27 Dr. Bruce Yeah, wrong person.

1:00:28 Adam That's the guy who's trying to get his hand up your ass. Remember him?

1:00:32 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:00:33 Adam Probably not the greatest guy to have this heart to heart about the rape with. You know what I'm saying?

1:00:37 Dr. Bruce Are you close to your mom?

1:00:39 Dr. Bruce No.

1:00:40 Dr. Bruce Is there an adult female you're close to?

1:00:43 Dr. Bruce My mom.

1:00:44 Adam Okay. Hold on. It's time for a quick loveline recreation. Go ahead, Bruce. Ask the question.

1:00:49 Dr. Bruce Is there an adult?

1:00:50 Adam No, no. Ask the one before that.

1:00:52 Dr. Bruce You're close to your mom.

1:00:53 Adam Bruce, I-

1:00:54 Dr. Bruce I don't want to go back to it.

1:00:56 Adam I swear to Christ. I got a vent for just one second. I tried. God knows I tried to do a little piece of theater here, and Bruce could not do it. I knew we couldn't do it. Just ask the goddamn question, you idiot.

1:01:07 Dr. Bruce Are you close to your mom?

1:01:08 Adam No. Now ask the follow up.

1:01:12 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:01:14 Adam I'll do it with Chris.

1:01:15 Dr. Bruce Is there an adult female you're close to?

1:01:17 Adam Sand crabs in his head. He's smarter than you are, you idiot. Go ahead. Sorry, Chris.

1:01:21 Dr. Bruce I don't have sand crabs in here.

1:01:23 Adam The guy serves for a living. You're a doctor, you jackass. Shut his microphone off, you retard. Sorry, Chris. Are you close to your mom? Loveline Recreation. Go ahead.

1:01:31 Dr. Bruce Are you close to your mother?

1:01:33 Adam No.

1:01:34 Dr. Bruce Do you have an adult female that you are close to?

1:01:36 Adam Yes, my mother.

1:01:38 Dr. Bruce Okay-dokey.

1:01:39 Adam Thank you.

1:01:40 Dr. Bruce All righty then.

1:01:41 Adam I'm sorry that took 20 minutes, you retard. Jesus Christ. Seriously, what part of Mexico did you get your license from to practice medicine?

1:01:50 Dr. Bruce Because I don't want to play-

1:01:51 Adam What part of Mexico? I don't want to play role playing with Adam Corolla. Guadalajara, Mexico City, please.

1:01:57 Dr. Bruce And you have something against Mexico.

1:01:58 Adam Chihuahua, where? Where in Mexico did you get that?

1:02:00 Dr. Bruce Mexico and Chinese people last night.

1:02:02 Adam I got nothing against Mexico. Next time you need some surgery, you go to Mexico. All right? Have fun. Come on. All right. Where the hell are we? Please.

1:02:13 Dr. Bruce Brandy.

1:02:14 Adam Brandy? Yeah. All right.

1:02:15 Dr. Bruce We're not making fun of you, okay? Even though Adam's trying to be funny.

1:02:19 Adam If you don't want him to do that, tell him you don't want him to do that.

1:02:23 Dr. Bruce She likes it sometimes.

1:02:24 Adam So you got to get a little counseling for the rape, right?

1:02:28 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:02:28 Adam And why can't you talk to your mom or can you?

1:02:33 Dr. Bruce I don't know.

1:02:34 Dr. Bruce No, you can talk to your mom about some things you're close to her, but it doesn't sound like you're comfortable talking to her about rape.

1:02:38 Dr. Bruce Talk to him, too.

1:02:39 Dr. Bruce Tell him if you don't like it, tell him to stop it when he does it right away.

1:02:43 Dr. Bruce Enjoy it.

1:02:44 Dr. Bruce Yeah, well, that's fine, but when you don't, stop.

1:02:46 Caller All right.

1:02:48 Adam That's not a question.

1:02:48 Dr. Bruce Maybe she thinks her mom is going to be mad at her because she's putting herself in a situation where she's got rape to remind her about that situation.

1:02:53 Dr. Bruce And maybe you should just wait for a while, wait a few years before you get into something so heavy with somebody.

1:02:57 Adam Yeah. Listen, I can tell you by the voice and the rape and you can't talk to the parents, there's some- I'm not saying she was raped when she was five, I'm just saying there's a bad family there.

1:03:08 Dr. Bruce There's like the timid voice.

1:03:10 Dr. Bruce Still not her fault.

1:03:11 Dr. Bruce The important thing is any relationship she gets into until she deals with this is going to be chaotic and not going to work out.

1:03:17 Dr. Bruce It's not your fault.

1:03:18 Adam Fun though. Oh my God. Imagine being like a 17, 18 year old dude these days and every girlfriend you have, you just got to talk about the time she was raped or molested. You know what I mean? You're thinking about the prom and putting your fingers in her ass and all she wants to talk about. I mean think about, I mean this is the second call we've had tonight where the girl was talking to her boyfriend about being molested or being raped. I mean think about the percentage of like 15, 16 year old guys who are talking to their 15, 16 year old girlfriends about the time they were raped or the time they were molested. And remember like when you were in high school or junior high, you didn't even like to hear about your girlfriend making out with some dudes who transferred into your school like two months ago or something. You know, just the fact that they took some other dude to the Sadie Hawkins dance and gave him a little tongue action was enough to keep you up at night. Imagine sitting there thinking about their uncle on top of them when they were 11 or whatever. I mean, that's got to be pretty freaky from a guy's standpoint too. Yeah, I mean, it's like they're going to need a credential to practice psychology in order to deal with these relationships. Nick, you're 18. What's up?

1:04:26 Caller Yeah, I'm like about 6'1, and my girlfriend's like 4'11. And when we have sex, she says that it hurts, like I'm going in too deep.

1:04:37 Dr. Bruce We call that the great name, Chihuahua Syndrome.

1:04:42 Dr. Bruce So it's sort of like any basketball player and his girlfriend kind of thing.

1:04:45 Caller Basically.

1:04:46 Adam Yeah.

1:04:47 Caller Like, is there any like type of position or anything that you could possibly do that could limit the depth of...

1:04:54 Adam Wheelbarrow.

1:04:57 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:04:58 Adam You asked a question I gave you.

1:04:59 Dr. Bruce From a medical standpoint, I was actually, I'm not sure where I was reading it, but it was a medical journal, Adam, for your information.

1:05:04 Adam High Times.

1:05:04 Dr. Bruce Yeah, no, I don't read High Times. And the question that many patients have in your situation, are there dangers physiologically? Or can you have trauma occur as a result of the discrepancy in size? And there's not. There's not.

1:05:17 Adam No. Listen, I'll tell you firsthand, I was banging this dwarf once.

1:05:21 Dr. Bruce Can I finish my medical statement?

1:05:23 Adam Go ahead.

1:05:24 Dr. Bruce And so, if the practice, if your sexual practices are limited by the discomfort level, and she's communicating that to you, you may have to alter the position you use and find the position that's most comfortable, but you're not going to have any trauma occur as a result of this, unless you don't hear her when she's saying that hurts or that's uncomfortable, because there is obviously quite a size discrepancy here.

1:05:46 Adam Are you done?

1:05:47 Dr. Bruce Yeah, I'm done.

1:05:48 Adam Okay.

1:05:49 Dr. Bruce Back to the banging the door.

1:05:50 Adam Yeah. It was on a circus train. I was pretty loaded. I don't remember a lot of it. It's not a time I'm particularly proud of. I was trying to get from us, and I think I was hopping trains across the country, running from my past.

1:06:06 Dr. Bruce Can we hang up on this call?

1:06:07 Adam Hey, Nick? Here. Really? Here's what you got to do, brother. And this goes out to all guys.

1:06:13 Dr. Bruce I meant you.

1:06:14 Adam Oh, I see.

1:06:14 Who's?

1:06:16 Dr. Bruce Can we hang up on you?

1:06:18 Dr. Bruce How dare you?

1:06:21 Dr. Bruce I want to talk to Nick.

1:06:23 Dr. Bruce Screw Nick.

1:06:24 Adam Listen. Here's what you got to do. You got to get her on top, and she's got to set the cadence and the pace of the sex, because if you're on top, and she's uncomfortable, and you're going at it, you may do a little damage. Let her go on top and go at her own speed, right?

1:06:39 Dr. Bruce Exactly. Now back to the dwarf.

1:06:42 Adam Tight, tight, super, super tight. Big calves on her. That really turned me on. And she was a Samoan dwarf, so she had extra big calves.

1:06:50 Dr. Bruce What angle did you go at?

1:06:53 Adam Well, if my penis was the big hand.

1:06:55 Dr. Bruce Like I said, Bruce, can we hang up on these guys?

1:06:58 Adam Ah, yeah.

1:06:58 Dr. Bruce No, man, come on.

1:06:59 Dr. Bruce Adam was on the train to Guadalajara to the medical clinic.

1:07:01 Dr. Bruce Come on, big hand, big hand.

1:07:03 Dr. Bruce He jumped off in Huatulco.

1:07:05 Adam Chris, Chris, you're 18. What's up?

1:07:10 Caller Me and my friend were just having a discussion. And we were wondering if a chick is like loose or tight from like the time like she's born or whatever, or does she get can she get looser as the amount of sex she has?

1:07:23 Adam Okay, let me tell you about this dwarf. No, that that area springs right back.

1:07:29 Caller It does?

1:07:30 Adam It's supposed to, right, Bruce?

1:07:31 Dr. Bruce After delivering a baby.

1:07:33 Adam You can have a kid.

1:07:34 Dr. Bruce So it's not like putting a baseball inside of a mitt.

1:07:37 Adam Right, it's not like you break in the vagina.

1:07:38 Dr. Bruce Well, we've had the Hymen discussion before. Do we need to go into the...

1:07:41 Adam I don't remember that.

1:07:42 Dr. Bruce Well, the Hymen is a partial membrane that after an initial introduction of an object into the vaginal canal, the tissue breaks, so there sometimes is pain and it seems narrow there, but after sex...

1:08:01 Dr. Bruce You're talking to four guys here. As we come out with each thing, we're going, right? So, you should talk to a group of girlfriends rather than guy friends.

1:08:10 Adam Hey, Chris?

1:08:10 Caller Yeah?

1:08:11 Adam I can tell you from doing the show and hearing this question more than once that it does not get stretched out.

1:08:18 Caller All right.

1:08:19 Dr. Bruce Dude, you're a looser. I thought you meant to get more uninhibited.

1:08:24 Adam No, no, no.

1:08:24 Dr. Bruce I thought looser was another term.

1:08:26 Adam No, he meant do they get stretched out. That's right. Don't read the board. You just got to listen to the question. Yeah. Although you have to read the board because you got to pick the call.

1:08:34 Dr. Bruce I would ask that question too myself.

1:08:36 Adam Well, here's the deal. Some women are anatomically bigger than others. And so there could be a difference from woman to woman, but it's not because she had a bunch of sexual partners. It's just because there's a little difference down there.

1:08:49 Dr. Bruce Have you ever seen the Texas Tunnel?

1:08:52 Adam Never mind.

1:08:53 Dr. Bruce Is that a porn film that Adam has?

1:08:55 Adam Really?

1:08:55 Dr. Bruce No, it's a porn star girl.

1:08:58 Adam Oh, really?

1:08:58 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:08:59 Dr. Bruce I mean, it's like, never mind.

1:09:01 Dr. Bruce You got Adam's attention.

1:09:02 Dr. Bruce We got another call here?

1:09:03 Dr. Bruce No, you got Adam's attention. Continue. Yeah.

1:09:04 Adam I'm not into the sort of macabre, bizarre, occult porn. I like the straight, you know.

1:09:09 Dr. Bruce Just dwarves. No, I just saw it in some porn magazine when I was like 18.

1:09:13 Adam You ever see Rex Cabo, Mr....

1:09:15 Dr. Bruce And she was complaining because guys weren't big enough for her. And it doesn't seem like she was just born that way. It became stretched out at some point, right?

1:09:23 Adam It doesn't.

1:09:24 Dr. Bruce Come on.

1:09:26 Adam Hey, listen, a baby can get its head through there and it can come back to normal.

1:09:31 Dr. Bruce Yeah, but if you leave a baby in there for like two years.

1:09:34 Adam Yeah, but if it was made...

1:09:35 Dr. Bruce It is debatable if it is absolutely normal afterward.

1:09:39 Adam All right, but hold on. Hold on a second.

1:09:40 Dr. Bruce It's a potential cavity. There's muscle involved. Just perunia, when people have pain, I mean, there's not relaxation of the muscle. So there's so many things that will determine the width, the tension there. And so this is kind of a question. It would have been better if it was about...

1:09:55 Adam Who knows what goes on in the old vagina, the old vagina.

1:10:01 Dr. Bruce Let's say you had two cloned girls, right? And one was having sex every day. And one only had sex maybe once every two weeks. Right. Now, don't you just think that naturally one girl would stretch out a little bit?

1:10:11 Dr. Bruce It's human flesh.

1:10:12 Adam I'm telling you.

1:10:14 Dr. Bruce But then if she stopped for six months, yeah.

1:10:15 Adam I put it this way. I've been pulling on my penis for 18 years now. I haven't gotten a quarter inch out of the goddamn thing. You need a phone.

1:10:24 Dr. Bruce But it does look like a handlebar grip.

1:10:27 Adam Yeah. It does have my knuckles built into it.

1:10:29 Dr. Bruce But man, it has some calluses.

1:10:31 Adam All right. We're going to take ourselves a little break. Bruce, I don't know what your point was with this call, but you didn't make it at all. You can explain to me during the commercial though what you were trying to say. Okay.

1:10:43 Caller Hello, who is this?

1:10:45 Caller This is Loveline. 1-800-LOVE-191. Loveline will be right back.

1:11:12 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce over there. Phone number 1-800-L-V-E-1-9-1. Dr. Bruce is filling in for Dr. Drew, who should be in, God willing, tomorrow night. Chris Malloy and Kelly Slater are both here, big time surfers, here to plug their new movie, which is a series called Adrenaline Theater, and it'll be, it's called, this one's called Hit and Run, and it's starting August 4th, and you should check out Swell, all capital letters, swell.com, to find a theater where it's at near you. All right. Should we get back on the phones and speak to Jacob, who's 16? Jacob?

1:11:54 Uh, hi.

1:11:55 Adam Hey.

1:11:56 Yeah, my problem is, my girlfriend is 17, and she's like a raging nymphomaniac.

1:12:03 Dr. Bruce That's your problem? Is that a problem?

1:12:05 Adam That's rough.

1:12:06 Because, like, yeah, you guys are bringing up the whole rape thing. Well, my girlfriend wanted to get raped.

1:12:13 Adam Right.

1:12:14 Yeah, when she was 14.

1:12:16 Adam What do you mean she wanted to get raped?

1:12:18 Well, she wanted the sex, and she wanted to be overpowered and all, but she didn't want it that hard. So...

1:12:24 Dr. Bruce She's got serious parental issues going on.

1:12:27 Adam Yeah. What's going on on the home front there?

1:12:29 Dr. Bruce She obviously doesn't know what rape is.

1:12:32 Well, yeah, it was pretty bad. But, see, the thing is, her parents are... She did it because her parents are religious fanatics. They're, like, really, really strict.

1:12:40 Adam I see. See what's going to happen to your kids?

1:12:43 Dr. Bruce Catholic girls are the craziest.

1:12:46 My biggest problem I'm having is the fact that I like her on an emotional level, but I guess I can't take all the sex, because, like, one time we're hanging out in public, and she was giving me oral sex, and she nearly threw up on me.

1:13:00 Adam Nice.

1:13:00 Yeah.

1:13:01 Adam All right. Hey, Jacob?

1:13:02 Yeah.

1:13:03 Adam You just added five minutes to my masturbatory session. You understand that?

1:13:07 Yeah.

1:13:07 Adam Look, it gets shaved off, then it comes back. It floats all night. Hey, Jacob? Yeah. You got your hands full here, right there, buddy?

1:13:18 Biggest problem is, it's like, I really, really like her, but I can't get her to get any help for this.

1:13:24 Dr. Bruce Your biggest problem is you can't loosen up and just go with it.

1:13:27 Dr. Bruce Yeah, man, roll with it, man.

1:13:29 Caller No, but listen.

1:13:30 Adam Okay, but you guys know what Jacob's talking about when a chick, what she's doing is fun, but you know it means she's nuts. That's what's fueling it, and so it freaks you out.

1:13:41 Dr. Bruce Well, at first, it's attractive, right? Then you start caring about somebody and you're like, oh, shh.

1:13:45 Adam Yeah, right. She's like, hey, slap my ass and call me a little bitch. You got a few beers in you and it's the first night and you're like, cool. Yeah, all right. Yeah. But then what happens is later on, you start having feelings and it starts getting weird and then you start thinking, what's fueling that? Now, you start getting freaked out and again, this is another 16-year-old guy who has to cope with an older 17-year-old chick who has a whole Santa sack full of problems and he ain't equipped to deal with them.

1:14:15 Dr. Bruce Exactly. There's a complete difference between sex that's normal and that comes out of intimacy, love for a person and a normal relationship in this. And in this kind of situation, it tends to be almost like an addictive thing. And the person wants more and more excitement. And the things they did last week don't excite them. And we talked about being- All right.

1:14:34 Adam So here's what Jacob needs to do. Jacob, and this is what all guys need to do in this position or all women. You love the person, you care for the person. Try to steer them in the right direction. Try not to play their game too much. Try to get them to some help, try to get them some answers. But, if they ain't ready to hear it and they can't do it, you can't go down with this thinking shit.

1:14:54 Dr. Bruce This is the same situation as if it was a drug. Oh, she's totally addicted. Right. And the word addiction is so overused that people sort of shut off when they hear it. But this is, sex is something that releases endorphins, dopamine, and it's the same thing going on in her brain as if she was addicted to cocaine.

1:15:10 Dr. Bruce Exactly. And remember this, man, if you ain't giving her everything she needs, she's gonna go find it somewhere else quick.

1:15:15 Dr. Bruce But if he can help her by possibly getting her to somebody.

1:15:20 Adam I released some dopamine into a gym sock earlier today.

1:15:23 Dr. Bruce That's not dopamine.

1:15:24 Adam That's not dopamine? What do you call it then?

1:15:25 Dr. Bruce You know, you can do your part, but I mean, if the other person's not willing.

1:15:29 Dr. Bruce But he's not gonna stay with this because of what you mentioned earlier. There's no relationship there.

1:15:33 Adam Now, let him try. He said he's having some feelings for her. Let him try to get her some help. And if it doesn't work, you gotta bail out. Debbie?

1:15:42 Hello?

1:15:42 Adam You're 27. What's up?

1:15:44 Caller Well, I'm 27 and I used to be an exotic dancer and now I have a hard time with anybody.

1:15:52 Adam What kind of exotic dancer?

1:15:53 Caller I was a street dancer.

1:15:56 Adam Yeah, topless or bottomless?

1:15:58 Caller Totally nude.

1:15:59 Adam Totally nude, okay.

1:16:00 Dr. Bruce Did you work in Honolulu?

1:16:02 Caller No, I never made it there.

1:16:03 Caller Alaska, California. Alaska? I guess. Washington.

1:16:08 Adam Yeah.

1:16:09 Caller Pretty much the West Coast.

1:16:09 Adam Honolulu has some great strip clubs.

1:16:11 Caller Yeah, there's some pretty cool ones. A lot of my girlfriends.

1:16:15 Dr. Bruce I've never been to them.

1:16:15 Adam There's just one called the Rose or something over there.

1:16:19 Dr. Bruce Rose Tattoo, no.

1:16:20 Adam Was it?

1:16:21 Dr. Bruce Kelly told me that one was late in the day.

1:16:22 Adam Club Rose. Was that bad?

1:16:23 Dr. Bruce Club Rose.

1:16:24 Adam It was good eight years ago when I was there. Yeah, Fire Pole. Chicks come down, the fire.

1:16:30 Dr. Bruce Okay, so what's your question?

1:16:32 Dr. Bruce Whatever.

1:16:33 Dr. Bruce Debbie.

1:16:33 Adam Yeah?

1:16:34 Dr. Bruce Yeah? What's going on?

1:16:36 Caller Well, it's just like ever since dancing, especially like in this town, because it's been two years since I've quit and I've recently started doing other, I work like a normal job.

1:16:43 Adam What town?

1:16:45 Caller I'm in Washington.

1:16:46 Adam Not DC?

1:16:47 Caller No, it's Spokane.

1:16:48 Adam Okay. So what's the problem?

1:16:51 Caller Well, you go out and there's a bunch of people who used to go to the clubs, like our local clubs here, and it's just really weird because you can't meet a nice guy because they're all like, oh wow, you know she used to dance.

1:16:59 Dr. Bruce You didn't think about that beforehand?

1:17:02 Caller Yeah, I totally thought about it.

1:17:04 Adam But listen, Spokane is not that small a town. It's not like you run into every guy who was in the club. What are you talking about?

1:17:12 Dr. Bruce Well, I've always been kind of in, it's always confused me how there's that double standard, like guys go in, but they don't feel like they're on that same level with the girls that are stripping, you know what I mean?

1:17:27 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:17:28 Dr. Bruce So it's like somehow the guys are above it because they're not stripping, but they're playing exactly in the, it wouldn't be happening unless they were.

1:17:34 Adam Well, they're not above it when they're in there, it's just when it's noon and they're outside and it's Sunday, that's when they're above it.

1:17:41 Dr. Bruce Right. So Debbie, a lot of gals that do that kind of thing, they may have issues, they may have had some abuse things. There are other people that they really need the money. They're, you know, they're not, you're not a bad person. This may have had an effect on your self-esteem, and it sounds like it's pretty tough to deal with at this point. But you're going to meet somebody that's going to judge, not judge you, and they're going to accept you for who you are. But I think in a place like Spokane, it seems like a small town environment, and maybe the circles you're running in, you need to change your...

1:18:13 Dr. Bruce There you go.

1:18:14 Adam Start hanging around with guys in their 80s.

1:18:16 Dr. Bruce Nice.

1:18:17 Adam Hey, Debbie?

1:18:18 Caller Yeah, I could...

1:18:19 Adam Okay, so you have no question. I mean, according to you, you need to move.

1:18:23 Caller We'll meet people.

1:18:24 Dr. Bruce We'll move.

1:18:25 Adam Everyone you run into remembers you from the club.

1:18:28 Dr. Bruce The new identity.

1:18:29 Dr. Bruce Are you hanging around at 7-Eleven at 3 in the morning? Is that where you're running into these guys?

1:18:33 Caller No, no, no.

1:18:35 Dr. Bruce Well, maybe a church you're running into them too.

1:18:36 Dr. Bruce Yeah, right.

1:18:37 Caller But listen.

1:18:38 Dr. Bruce What kind of work are you doing now?

1:18:40 Caller I'm in the health field. That's right.

1:18:43 Caller Okay.

1:18:43 Dr. Bruce Did you have any issues that landed you in the job stripping? Or is there anything you haven't dealt with?

1:18:49 Caller Totally screwed up teenager.

1:18:51 Dr. Bruce Right. So you've worked through that, yes. All right.

1:18:53 Adam Now, Debbie, focus on that and magically a relationship will fall into your lap.

1:18:58 Caller Oh, right on.

1:19:00 Adam Well, listen, it's not about the small town and running into guys who are at the club. And if it is, then move.

1:19:06 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:19:07 Adam What are your choices?

1:19:08 Dr. Bruce If you've changed, just focus on who you are and keep going. Things will work out.

1:19:11 Adam I'm not saying Spokane is a bustling metropolis. I'm just saying if you're seeing guys who are at the club, you may be still hanging out at the wrong places.

1:19:21 Dr. Bruce Different bar. You had a bar you go to before the club.

1:19:23 Dr. Bruce Do you do drugs?

1:19:25 Dr. Bruce Nation selling.

1:19:26 Dr. Bruce That's just like having faith and finding the right person.

1:19:30 Adam The coin op car wash. There's a place you shouldn't hang out. Brian?

1:19:35 Oh, hi.

1:19:35 Adam You're 18. What's up?

1:19:37 Caller Every time me and my girlfriend have anal sex, she seems to black out or faint.

1:19:42 Adam You sure it's not a brown out? Little poop humor there, Flay.

1:19:47 Caller Yeah.

1:19:48 Adam Thank you very much. She seems to faint?

1:19:51 Caller Yeah.

1:19:51 Adam Yeah. I would too. I really would. Do you have a big penis?

1:19:56 Caller I don't know. It depends on what you call big.

1:19:59 Adam I would take that as a compliment though if a girl fainted when I was in her.

1:20:03 Dr. Bruce I wouldn't. When, you know, for many years...

1:20:05 Dr. Bruce Then she would actually kind of... She wouldn't be as tense. Just go with it.

1:20:10 Dr. Bruce She faints.

1:20:11 Adam Game on, brother.

1:20:12 Dr. Bruce Depending on the nerve supply to the anal area, some people have a very strong stimulus occur when they have anal sex. For example, doctors doing rectal exams for years, they said you can't do them on somebody that's just had a heart attack because there's certain...

1:20:28 Dr. Bruce That's self-explanatory.

1:20:30 Adam Don't explain it. I know what you mean.

1:20:31 Dr. Bruce But anyway, there's something called...

1:20:33 Dr. Bruce Use no fist, doc.

1:20:34 Adam Listen, I had a heart attack.

1:20:35 Dr. Bruce You can't fist them when they just had a heart attack.

1:20:37 Dr. Bruce I haven't had a heart attack and if you do that to me...

1:20:39 Dr. Bruce Anyway, the stimulation could cause a response where your heart slows down. It causes your heart to slow down. It's like when people faint, when they see blood, it's the same thing going on in the brain.

1:20:48 Adam I call it a vasovagal reaction.

1:20:50 Dr. Bruce Vasovagal reaction. Adam is well trained from the Guadalajara School of Medicine. So, Brian, it's probably this vasovagal reaction where the stimulation goes to the brain, the central nervous system tells the heart to slow down and not enough blood is pumped and she passes out. So, it's not the size of your penis or the...

1:21:08 Adam Right.

1:21:08 Dr. Bruce I think it's a sign, man. Really.

1:21:10 Adam Hey, Brian, maybe you ought to just stay away from that region for a little while.

1:21:14 Caller Yeah.

1:21:15 Adam What do you say?

1:21:16 Caller The first couple of times she didn't faint and then after that it started.

1:21:21 Dr. Bruce What does she have to say about it when she comes to?

1:21:24 Caller Nothing. She doesn't even remember it.

1:21:26 Dr. Bruce Yeah.

1:21:27 Dr. Bruce I say just do it more often so it loosens up.

1:21:29 Dr. Bruce Hold on.

1:21:29 Adam Maybe she should have herself a little checkup, shouldn't she?

1:21:35 Dr. Bruce Well, that's an excellent point. If you're passing out and there's not an explanation. Passing out is something that should always be evaluated. That's a good point. This sounds like there's an explanation.

1:21:47 Adam Now, what should you tell the doctor? Not that you've been getting cornhole, but that what?

1:21:52 Dr. Bruce My butthole was broken.

1:21:55 Adam You know what I mean? I mean, you tell them like you saw the Backstreet Boys and you passed out or something like that. What should she tell the doctor?

1:22:04 Dr. Bruce You have to mention passing out.

1:22:05 Dr. Bruce The Backdoor Boys?

1:22:06 Dr. Bruce Why would you tell the doctor I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple of times?

1:22:10 Adam Hey, put that on a cart, by the way.

1:22:12 Dr. Bruce I've been fearing that anything I said would go on a cart.

1:22:15 Adam Anderson, save that. I've had anal sex and I'm not going to finish Bruce's line.

1:22:21 Dr. Bruce Put that on a cart, Anderson.

1:22:22 Adam Listen, he's got hours on me and we don't have anything good on you. Bobby? Hello? You're 15. What's up?

1:22:30 Caller First of all, I just want to say, Adam, you're the funniest man alive.

1:22:32 Adam Oh, thank you.

1:22:33 Dr. Bruce I should see how he looks.

1:22:34 Dr. Bruce Yeah?

1:22:35 Caller You beat me too, yeah. I had a check last night.

1:22:38 Dr. Bruce Pretty nice. Nice, huh?

1:22:41 Caller Yeah, and I don't mind how you got a pristine penis and everything, so I was wondering. About a week ago, my girlfriend performed oral sex on me for the first time.

1:22:51 Adam Nice.

1:22:52 Caller And now I have these hard red bumps on it. And I don't know what it is.

1:22:59 Adam Hard red bumps. But it doesn't look like a blister.

1:23:03 Caller No, they're just hard red. They kind of stick out and, like...

1:23:08 Dr. Bruce Do they have a nice central core to them or do they look smooth and homogenous on the top?

1:23:14 Caller Homogenous, eh?

1:23:15 Dr. Bruce Homogeneous.

1:23:16 Adam Well, what I mean, what he means is there's like a head on them?

1:23:19 Dr. Bruce A pimple with a head.

1:23:20 Caller Yeah, actually, some of the more hard ones, like, actually, sometimes I scratch them and there's like fluid. It kind of looks like a zit, but...

1:23:29 Adam You just added five minutes, another five on the...

1:23:32 Dr. Bruce Is the bifax working?

1:23:33 Adam I'm up to 12 minutes now.

1:23:35 Oh, my ass.

1:23:36 Adam Hey, Bobby, do you say this on the base of your penis?

1:23:40 Caller Yeah.

1:23:42 Adam All right. What do you think, Bruce?

1:23:43 Dr. Bruce Pearly, pustule, pearly.

1:23:45 Dr. Bruce Wait, he never had these before?

1:23:46 Adam Okay.

1:23:47 Dr. Bruce First of all, anytime you have something new on your skin after you've had an intercourse, you have to have a doctor see it. Because I was joking.

1:23:54 Adam This was a BJ, but... Yeah, fine. Just say fine.

1:23:58 Dr. Bruce And many people don't think you can contract any kind of venereal diseases through oral sex, but you can. You can get gonorrhea in the throat. You can get, theoretically, other venereal diseases.

1:24:08 Adam Okay. We're talking about him, by the way. How's he going to get gonorrhea in the throat?

1:24:13 Dr. Bruce I'm saying just in general, when individuals have oral sex, it can go male, female.

1:24:17 Adam All right.

1:24:17 Dr. Bruce In this case, somebody has to look at the lesions.

1:24:19 Adam That's right. Bobby, you got to go to the doctor.

1:24:21 Caller Can I trust Dr. Bruce on that?

1:24:23 Adam Listen, Bruce is a babbling idiot.

1:24:25 Dr. Bruce Have you eroded the faith of the listeners in me to the point where he's asking you if you can trust me?

1:24:31 Caller I'm crushed.

1:24:33 Adam Bruce got his license from Panama. I'm now moving further south.

1:24:39 Dr. Bruce They have some fine medical institutions.

1:24:41 Adam Yeah, sure. Hey, Bobby, listen, I'll tell you what. Why don't you give it a week, see if it goes away. If it doesn't, you got to bring your penis into the doctor.

1:24:51 Dr. Bruce Okay.

1:24:51 Adam But no picking on it.

1:24:53 Dr. Bruce Sounds like, how about molluscum contagiosum? That's a good one for you.

1:24:56 Adam There you go. It's a wart.

1:24:57 Caller Adam, I'm looking forward to that Drew boogie tonight, right?

1:25:00 Adam Oh, yeah. We got to play that. That's right. Anderson will play that when we come back. What do you say after this?

1:25:09 Caller Love Line will be right back. So get your problems ready. Ready.

1:25:45 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Bruce, Kelly Slater and Chris Malloy are both here, both plugging away the Adrenaline Movie Theater Series, which is Hit and Run. That's the surf film. That's the first in the series, and that premieres August 4th. So look for it in a theater near you. All right. Now, we said we were going to hear the Dr. Drew Boogie or Shuffle? I think the Boogie. Shuffle. The Shuffle? Which one's newer? The Boogie or the Shuffle? I can't remember.

1:26:17 They're both really, really old.

1:26:19 Adam Yeah. But that's not the answer I was looking for because one is like a year older than the other, and I can't remember which one. Ask the guy again. What did he want? He wanted the Boogie. The Boogie? All right.

1:26:27 Caller Let's hear the Boogie.

1:26:38 If I find you, have sex with me.

1:26:40 Caller If you get hurt, have sex with me. If you get better, have sex with me.

1:26:45 Dr. Bruce I want to have sex with me.

1:26:47 Caller I was born, so I had anal sect.

1:26:49 Caller Gee, it hurts.

1:26:51 Caller Still a virgin.

1:26:51 Caller Tried to be straight, or I thought I should be straight, and I was confused.

1:26:54 Caller Pardon me.

1:26:55 Caller You know, pee on this makes me sick.

1:26:58 Caller Hurts when I urinate.

1:26:59 Caller Makes me sick.

1:27:01 Caller Anal sect makes me sick. This guy's penis makes me sick.

1:27:12 Caller It's called intimacy.

1:27:13 Dr. Bruce Can I say that?

1:27:14 Caller You're fat.

1:27:15 Caller You're gay.

1:27:17 Caller Confused.

1:27:18 Caller You're sick.

1:27:19 You're overweight.

1:27:20 Caller You're still aversion.

1:27:21 You're dysfunctional.

1:27:22 Adam Not acceptable. That is Dr. Joyce Brothers, by the way.

1:27:28 Dr. Bruce Can you get that on Napster?

1:27:29 You hit your nuts?

1:27:30 Adam Hey, Drew, I mean, Bruce, can I finish my goddamn sentence before you jump in? What is it? Drew does the same thing. It's really, it's a weird impulse. Seriously, I know you had a joke and all that kind of stuff, and I don't mean to break your balls too much.

1:27:47 Dr. Bruce Or after the last call, or I mean nothing would...

1:27:49 Adam But you know, as soon as you got the same bug Drew does, you know what Drew does is I'll go, well, tonight we have our guests in, and their website is www.and Drew will lean in and go, and start talking, and I'll go, Drew, let me just finish this.

1:28:06 Caller All right, all right, okay.

1:28:07 Adam That's what he does when I start yelling at him. John?

1:28:11 Yeah.

1:28:12 Adam You're 26?

1:28:13 Caller Yes, I am.

1:28:14 Adam What is up?

1:28:15 Caller All right, I recently started dating this girl. She's 20 years old, and every time we have sex, and she orgasms, it's like gushing. There's huge pools of whatever it is that comes out of her on my bed. You know, there's a big mess. I have to wash the sheets all the time, and she gets all embarrassed about it. It doesn't bother me that much, but I was wondering if there's any way, or anything that I could do, or she could do that would, you know, prevent that from happening.

1:28:44 Adam Put some kitty litter up her.

1:28:46 Dr. Bruce Most people are trying to move more in the direction of that problem, so. That's not abnormal, and women do have varying amounts of fluid released, so it's, as many things, there's a variation of what's normal.

1:29:00 Adam All right, hold on. It is abnormal.

1:29:02 Dr. Bruce This occurred to me once.

1:29:04 Adam It did. What happened?

1:29:06 Dr. Bruce Yeah. Well, it seemed as though it was around during the orgasm.

1:29:11 Adam That's good.

1:29:12 Dr. Bruce Her orgasm.

1:29:13 Adam Right.

1:29:13 Dr. Bruce And then, I mean, I thought she was urinating or something.

1:29:16 Dr. Bruce Sometimes that happens. Sometimes there is a little incontinence with that.

1:29:20 Adam Some female orgasmic incontinence. But they also have, they can have a little fluid coming out of there too. You sure you didn't just spill your beer?

1:29:31 Dr. Bruce You know what? Now that I think about it.

1:29:32 Caller Yeah.

1:29:34 Adam Hold on. Where was John? John?

1:29:38 Caller Yeah.

1:29:38 Adam Yeah. You think it's urine or do you think it's juice?

1:29:45 Caller Well, I'm pretty sure it's juice because of, I mean, she gets...

1:29:48 Dr. Bruce It's natural.

1:29:49 Adam It's a natural thing. You ever down there during oral sex when this happens?

1:29:54 Caller She, for some unknown reason, doesn't like me to do that.

1:29:58 Adam Yeah. Well, it's not unknown. She doesn't want to take an eye out. You get a detached retina. All right. So, Ace John...

1:30:04 Dr. Bruce She's self-conscious of it.

1:30:05 Adam She has it, though, during intercourse, right? Yes. God bless you. You're way ahead of the game. And it's nice to have some sort of physical, tangible evidence. I mean, you know she's not faking it, right?

1:30:15 Dr. Bruce Very true. Go with it, man.

1:30:18 Adam Right. There's nothing you can do about it, though.

1:30:20 Caller Nothing at all, huh?

1:30:21 Adam Well, what do you think?

1:30:24 Dr. Bruce Stop having sex with her.

1:30:26 Caller It's not an option.

1:30:27 Adam No. I know.

1:30:29 Dr. Bruce Go with it, man.

1:30:30 Dr. Bruce Keep her on the bottom.

1:30:32 Adam My heart goes out to you and so does my towel, but there's nothing you can do. I mean, this is what she does. It just, you know, put a towel down and don't put your best sheets on and have at it.

1:30:46 Dr. Bruce Her bed.

1:30:46 Her bed.

1:30:47 Adam Robert?

1:30:48 Yeah.

1:30:48 Adam You're 16. What's up?

1:30:50 Caller Well, every time I masturbate, I always picture girls from like 10 to 4 naked.

1:30:58 Adam Age 10 to 4?

1:30:59 Caller How old is he?

1:31:00 Adam Yeah.

1:31:01 Caller Yeah.

1:31:02 Caller Yikes.

1:31:03 Adam Why is that?

1:31:05 Caller I don't know.

1:31:06 Adam Yeah. Anything happened to you growing up?

1:31:09 Caller Well, when I was like around eight or six or something. Yeah. My stepdad did really bad drugs, anything.

1:31:20 Adam Yeah.

1:31:21 Caller Emmett, he did it.

1:31:23 Dr. Bruce What did he do to you when he was doing the drugs?

1:31:26 Caller He did nothing to me.

1:31:27 Dr. Bruce What did he do to your sister?

1:31:29 Caller He raped my sister.

1:31:30 Dr. Bruce You saw him?

1:31:31 Caller No. He tied me down to the basement.

1:31:34 Dr. Bruce You need help, buddy.

1:31:34 Dr. Bruce But you knew what was going on.

1:31:37 Caller My mom told me this.

1:31:38 Dr. Bruce You need help, buddy.

1:31:39 Dr. Bruce Thanks, Mom.

1:31:40 Adam That's for sure. Hey, Mom.

1:31:42 Dr. Bruce Have you talked to anybody?

1:31:43 Adam I just asked what we're eating for dinner. I don't know where the rape story came from, Mom, but thanks.

1:31:47 Dr. Bruce Are we the first people you've talked to about this? Have you talked to a counselor?

1:31:50 Caller Yeah.

1:31:51 Dr. Bruce Well, listen, it's good you called. It's good you brought this up.

1:31:53 Dr. Bruce Healing can begin.

1:31:55 Dr. Bruce Right, because, you know, I can tell you it's not normal, and you you already sense that it's not normal. And I don't want to make you feel like you're, you know, that you have some terrible problem. You're a terrible person. You're not a bad person. There's a reason for this, and you've, I, you know, we've tried to help you identify that reason, what happened, what your father did, and things like that can affect you now. You can get help, okay, you can get help from a counselor, and this doesn't mean you're going to be a pedophile, that you're going to have this problem the rest of your life, identifying with young girls, but is there an adult you can talk to? Question I ask many times.

1:32:29 Caller I used to have a counselor, and that was when I was living up in Washington, and I never had this problem before. It never came up before.

1:32:37 Dr. Bruce How did you get to the counselor? What was the issue?

1:32:41 Caller Short temper.

1:32:42 Adam Okay. Hey, Robert, you got to find a new counselor. And where's your biological dad? I'm sure he's a piece of work.

1:32:49 Caller No, he's not. He ran off when my mom was pregnant with me.

1:32:53 Adam Oh, really? So you never know him. Yeah.

1:32:55 Dr. Bruce He's probably a piece of work.

1:32:56 Adam Still probably a piece of work.

1:32:59 Caller He was around when I was like five or something.

1:33:02 Adam Okay. Hey, Robert, you need to get some counseling. Okay.

1:33:06 Dr. Bruce Do you have a doctor that you go to, a family doctor? Is there anybody in the health field that you-

1:33:11 Caller No, I just kind of moved. I just kind of moved.

1:33:12 Adam Okay.

1:33:14 Dr. Bruce You got to get to a counselor or tell your mom you want to go to the doctor for a sports physical or something and then talk to them about that because even general practitioners today, they're taught to deal with these sort of things. No one's going to judge you. No one is going to get you in any trouble for it. They'll understand and they'll help you get to a counselor.

1:33:31 Adam Is stepdad gone now?

1:33:34 Caller My mom, that was the second stepdad I have. My fifth is coming up here. My fourth is coming up here pretty soon.

1:33:41 Adam Okay, so your mom's a real piece of work, huh?

1:33:43 Caller No, she's had a lot of bad guys around. Right.

1:33:47 Dr. Bruce Then she'll understand your need to talk to somebody.

1:33:49 Adam Talk to your mom and tell her you need to talk to somebody.

1:33:51 Dr. Bruce And tell her about that guy so that he's not going around doing that more, you know. He needs to be stopped. Oh, that wasn't.

1:33:55 Adam She knows, she told him.

1:33:57 Caller She's a force to that guy.

1:33:59 Adam All right.

1:34:00 Dr. Bruce You know, these calls, it's like when we get in these calls, it starts to make you realize like how deep these things are, you know. Like how, I mean, okay, he's got the mother that's like, had how many guys that are probably abusive, each of them.

1:34:13 Dr. Bruce Well, when you hear the sins of the father, you know, handed down, it's true.

1:34:17 Adam He's got anger problems too, so imagine what he'll be up to.

1:34:20 Dr. Bruce But then like escaping that and having the rest of your family admit anything or deal with anything, you know, it's like you're trapped for life in some, in most cases, in a lot of cases.

1:34:29 Adam I'll tell you what, let's all kill ourselves. We'll take a break. Come on, seriously. Let's make a pact, do a real Jonestown.

1:34:35 Dr. Bruce You know, we should give out a couple phone numbers maybe because Robert can call me.

1:34:38 Adam When you talk to him, I'll be here. Kelly, you go first with your plug.

1:35:23 Dr. Bruce All right. We gotta plug Jack Johnson, a friend of ours who just made his album and finished it. And it'll be called Jack Johnson, be coming out in about two, three months, October or something. And Chris has to congratulate his brothers. Oh, and Jack just got married, so congratulations.

1:35:38 Dr. Bruce I just gotta tell my brothers I'm proud of them. They just got second and fifth in the US. Open in Huntington Beach.

1:35:45 Adam Fantastic, and they lent you their cars.

1:35:47 Dr. Bruce Very proud of them.

1:35:48 Adam Bruce, give your phone number out.

1:35:49 Dr. Bruce Youth Crisis Line 800-843-5200, 800-843-5200.

1:35:55 Adam Alright, Hit and Run, the best surf movie ever made, everyone, coming out August 4th. Look for it in a theater near you. Go on the internet and punch up swell.com and find it at a theater near yourself. So, until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Bruce saying mahalo.

1:36:13 Dr. Bruce I've had anal sex and I've passed out a couple times.

1:36:17 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, August 1, 2000