Episode 1000754887138

1:38 Yeah, whatever.

1:39 Voiceover 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

1:56 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

2:08 Yep, it is Loveline.

2:10 Adam I'm Adam Corolla.

2:10 That is Dr. Drew over there.

2:12 Adam Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. Dr. Drew is aboard Certified Physician. Oh, boy. There we are. There we go. An addiction medicine specialist.

2:25 All right.

2:26 Adam Now, Anderson, I'm not going to take the mic, the backup mic until the thing Fs up again, all right? Okay.

2:33 Drew You're in a good mood.

2:33 Adam Yes, I'm feeling good tonight.

2:34 Drew You're charitable. Charitable.

2:35 Adam That's right. Sunday night, no guest tonight. Just the love that the hosts find between each other. Sunday night, we're going to do a special Loveline, pick a special topic, which is going to be ecstasy, and we're going to have, what are we doing, Drew?

2:49 Drew We're going to have people that...

2:50 Adam It's so special, I wasn't told about it.

2:52 Drew We're going to have people that claim it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and then we're going to have some doctors to talk about what actually happens to people that expose their brain to this garbage. All right. Yes, and then we're going to do a morning after pill in about a week. I spent my whole day, my whole morning in the library, researching, getting my ammunition together for those mother efforts, as you would say. Library, library.

3:11 Adam Oh, it's the house where they keep the books.

3:13 Drew Actually, it's a medical library. It's a place where they keep a computer.

3:16 Oh, I see.

3:18 Adam And then next week we'll have Andy Dick and David Alan Greer and Brian Hurtett. Wow, three of my favorite guys. I really like all those guys. So, it's a good week next week and tonight.

3:31 We'll take some calls, have some fun.

3:32 Adam Good times. Lucas?

3:34 Hey, what's going on?

3:35 Adam Hey, you're 17. What's up?

3:38 Caller Um, see, I made a little mistake, y'all. I, um, accidentally had got drunk and slept with my, uh, my best friend's girlfriend.

3:48 Drew Accidentally.

3:48 Adam I love that.

3:49 Caller Well, actually, it wasn't accidentally. It was kind of like on purpose. And...

3:53 Drew Kind of like on purpose.

3:54 Adam I see. Almost intentional.

3:56 Caller Okay, okay. Listen, you guys. This is the big thing right here. Okay, um, uh, my, okay, my best friend's girlfriend is her best, her best friend is my girlfriend. Oh, boy. So we like keeping it in the family.

4:10 Drew Oh, man.

4:11 Caller I'm wondering, should I tell my best friend? And I was kind of joking with them or whatever, and I was like, what if I do it? And he was like, I'll kill you.

4:19 Drew Oh, boy. So I think also telling him is probably not a great idea.

4:23 Adam Is this is this guy her boyfriend, did you say?

4:27 Caller Or what on the phone right now? But she's she's so shy. She's not going to say anything.

4:31 Adam She's on the other line.

4:32 Caller A diagram on the phone.

4:34 Caller Here's a call.

4:35 Adam What phone? Our phone?

4:37 Caller On my phone.

4:38 Adam Can she hear me?

4:39 Caller Yeah.

4:39 Adam What's her name?

4:41 Drew Lasagna.

4:41 Caller The lion. Yeah.

4:44 Drew Lasagna.

4:44 Caller Yeah.

4:45 Hold on.

4:53 Adam Is she black?

4:54 Yeah.

4:54 Adam What is going on with those blacks? I met a black chick named Provolone last day, just earlier this week. Is she really named Lasagna?

5:03 Drew Yeah.

5:04 Adam It's Lasagna?

5:05 Drew Lasagna. Okay. You guys are kidding. Get with it.

5:08 Adam Lasagna.

5:09 Drew All right.

5:15 Adam And I'm Italian and I'm hungry, so I like you.

5:19 Drew Here's the guy that's calling us. This is the girlfriend.

5:21 Caller Right.

5:21 Drew He slept with his best friend's girlfriend, and these two are best friends.

5:26 Caller Lasagna?

5:27 Adam Yeah. Your boyfriend is Lucas' best friend? Okay.

5:36 Drew And his girlfriend is...

5:38 Caller My best friend.

5:39 Drew See?

5:40 Adam Yeah. This happens, though. Do you guys like each other? Yeah.

5:44 Drew Lucas and Lasagna like each other.

5:48 Adam Why don't you two get together?

5:50 Drew Just break up.

5:51 Adam Just break up and call, you know...

5:54 Drew Break up. Give it a few months. Don't let anybody know that you guys have done this.

5:57 Caller Well, they already broke up.

6:00 Caller Oh.

6:01 Caller Me and my girlfriend were still together.

6:02 Adam Lasagna and her boyfriend, Tony Pimento, broke up?

6:06 Caller Yeah.

6:06 Caller Because he's a liar. And with... I mean, it was just a whole bunch of stuff that happened.

6:11 Drew How long ago did they break up?

6:13 Caller Lasagna, tell them the story.

6:14 Probably like...

6:16 Caller maybe like a week or so ago.

6:17 Drew And so, it was in response to you saying, Lucas, gee, she's free now. What if I sleep with her? He said, I'm going to kill you.

6:25 Caller Yeah.

6:26 Drew Right, Lucas?

6:27 Caller Yeah. Yeah, he's going to come over and shoot him and everything.

6:30 Drew If he actually... how did he catch wind of the fact that he might sleep with you?

6:36 Because I was like, okay, now what if this happened?

6:39 Caller What would you do?

6:41 Adam Yeah. Let me just give you guys a little heads up. It's bad to float those sexual hypotheticals in front of your partner. It's like, let's say I was to get a BJ from your sister. Would that...

6:52 Caller if you want?

6:53 Adam That's a horrible angle. It pretty much just tips him off. Because you wouldn't bring it up otherwise. Okay, so you guys should be together.

7:00 Drew Yeah, you gotta break up with your girlfriend though, Lucas. You really do. But don't immediately become a couple. Because the ex-boyfriend will still try to kill Lucas.

7:10 Adam Right.

7:10 Drew He needs a good six months before he finds out about this.

7:14 Adam And don't get the lasagna pregnant.

7:17 Drew No.

7:17 Caller Please no.

7:19 Drew I'm going to Detroit.

7:20 Caller I'm going to give birth to a little rigatoni at some point.

7:23 Drew I'm going to Detroit tomorrow.

7:25 Adam It's not lasagna.

7:26 Drew It's lasagna.

7:28 Adam What the hell is going on in the black community? What the hell is happening?

7:33 Drew I think that's a nice name.

7:35 Adam Listen, what about Harriet Tubman? Harriet. There's no black woman named Harriet. It wasn't lasagna, Tubman. Was it? Okay. I don't know. It just seems like you're setting yourself up for a life of ridicule when you name yourself lasagna. That's my main main main name. Now mayonnaise, that's a name.

7:57 Drew Yeah, I understand.

7:58 Okay.

7:59 Adam John?

8:00 Yeah.

8:01 Adam You're 23.

8:02 Caller Yeah.

8:02 Adam What's up?

8:03 Caller First of all, I want to say you guys are great. I listen to your show all the time. I'll get right to the point. Well, actually, I didn't tell you the girl everything. With this, I guess it actually started like years ago because I caught my cousin.

8:26 Drew Cousin.

8:27 Adam Shocking. Your cousin has something to do with this, yes?

8:29 Drew Yes. Cousin.

8:31 Caller Okay. I caught my nephew, I'm sorry.

8:34 Caller Oh, okay.

8:38 Caller Years ago, when he was like six or seven, somewhere around there, he's 13 now. And now actually, he just turned 14 two weeks ago. And I caught him with one of his little friends, you know? And but that was, you know, years ago. And then just last weekend, this Saturday, I was over at my sister's house. And because I kind of...

9:06 Caller Come on Anderson, please.

9:08 Caller Yes, go ahead. I'm sorry.

9:09 Caller Okay. I kind of, you know, move. I kind of, during a week's time, I might stay with three or four different people because I'm not working right now and stuff, you know?

9:18 Caller I see.

9:19 Caller You're drifting.

9:20 Caller Yeah. I was over at my sister's house. And the next morning, Saturday morning, I got up, and I was taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom. And I looked out the window, and because I was brushing my teeth, and I looked out the window, and I looked again, because what I seen was so shocking, I seen my nephew, which is 14 now. And I seen him with a dog pen. They got like a Lassie dog, you know?

9:49 Drew Collie.

9:50 Adam A Lassie dog.

9:51 Caller I see.

9:52 Adam You're like me though. You name your dogs after TV shows. You identify your dogs.

9:57 Caller His name's like, I don't know, Tom or something. I don't know the dog's name, but it looks like a Lassie dog.

10:01 Drew You just said Tom, but you're talking about him.

10:03 Adam Hey, John. Yeah. You know, we've trimmed the show down to two hours now. I don't know if anyone gave you a heads up on that.

10:08 Drew Hey, but are you doubting the veracity of what he's telling you?

10:12 Adam No, no. I'd like to. I'd like to, but no, I'm with you. I'm with you, John. So what did you see?

10:18 Caller And the dog pen, it's like made out of wood, so you can't see if you're standing on the ground, you know, like 20 yards away from me.

10:25 Drew By the way, those of you that are planning a bogus call, just take notes at the way John goes through endless detail about the experience of seeing something shocking.

10:32 Adam I don't think endless is a long enough word for the detail that John is putting forward.

10:36 Caller I see out the window, I see him with his pants down, around his knees, in the dog pen, and first he's pulling the dog's head up to his, you know, and then I kept watching because I was shocked by it, and eventually he starts sucking on the dog, you know.

10:57 Drew Oh, he goes to the dog.

10:59 Adam John, hold on a second, who are you to question his training techniques?

11:04 Caller Well, you know, I guess it would be kind of funny if it wasn't, you know, if I wasn't in it.

11:09 Drew What do you figure, this guy didn't think he was going to get caught doing that?

11:12 Caller Well, you can't see in the dog lair.

11:14 Adam I see.

11:16 Caller I was above it, right above it.

11:18 Adam He was performing fellatio on the dog?

11:21 Caller Yeah, and he, then he, after he did the dog, you know, he put the dog in his mouth, he got the dog down and was like laying on top of it, I guess, trying to do it. I don't know, but anyway, see, when I caught him years ago, I was the one who told my sister, his parents and stuff, right? So, now I don't know if I should...

11:45 Adam 14, hold on a second there, John, we get the picture.

11:48 Drew I think you should tell the first time.

11:50 Adam 14 years old.

11:50 Caller Well, should I talk to him first?

11:51 Drew No, it's more than a talking to is gonna straighten out. This is pretty messed up stuff.

11:56 Adam Ah, this is your worst nightmare as a 14 year old though, to him.

12:00 Caller But I don't see how the, you know, he turned out this way, cause my sister and her husband, you know, they're great and they're not alcoholics or, you know, all the stuff you talk about on your phone.

12:10 Drew Was your sister available during his infancy or was he left alone a lot early in life?

12:15 Caller Well, she went back to work like after he was a year old, you know.

12:19 Drew But not before that?

12:21 Caller No.

12:22 Drew And was she very involved with his life after the first year?

12:24 Caller Yeah, I mean, you know, she keeps up with his school stuff.

12:28 Drew I mean, was she really around?

12:29 Caller Yeah, right. Well, please.

12:31 Drew But this is this is this kind of thing is usually even sexual abuse.

12:35 Adam This kid may have a tumor or something. Putting pressure on part of his brain.

12:39 Caller Yeah. He has what they call attention and deficit disorder.

12:43 Drew Yeah. That's the beginning of the attention he needs to get. I mean, it's just not first diagnosis of many. OK.

12:50 Adam Talk to the sister.

12:51 Drew Yeah. Talk to the sister. Don't do not talk to the kid. Don't freak him out. I mean, why? Why? Why humiliate him?

12:55 Adam What's he going to do, by the way?

12:57 Drew This kid needs to be marched over to a professional and, you know, evaluated.

13:01 Adam Oh, yes. Veterinarian.

13:04 Jesus Christ.

13:06 Adam I understand the concept of the dog performing certain acts on you. I mean, that I understand as a fourteen-year-old. You know, any port in a storm. You know what I'm saying, Drew? But you're doing it to the dog. You've really crossed the line.

13:24 Drew That's low self-esteem, huh?

13:25 Adam Yeah, it really is. Mary?

13:28 Drew What are you talking about?

13:29 Adam Mary? Caller who goes by the name of Mary? Who's 28 years old?

13:34 Drew What's up?

13:35 Caller Hi. I have a question. I work two jobs and I was wondering if stress causes you to lose your sexual drive.

13:45 Drew Of course.

13:46 Adam Everything. It caused you to lose your hair.

13:48 Caller Oh my God.

13:49 Adam It caused you to lose everything.

13:50 Drew Your health. But listen, in women, anything causes you to lose your sexual drive.

13:55 Adam That's right.

13:55 Drew So.

13:56 Caller And my other question is, how can, I'm married, almost two years and we're now trying to have a family. How do I know when I'm most fertile so I won't have to, so I can be prepared to just do it and get pregnant?

14:11 Drew So you don't have to bother with sex during any other time during the month?

14:14 Caller I'm sorry?

14:15 Drew So you shouldn't be troubled by sex during any other time during the month?

14:18 Caller Yeah, exactly.

14:19 Drew Oh boy.

14:19 Adam Can't you get one of those basal temperature monitors or something?

14:23 Drew It's around day 18 and so it's within 24 hours of ovulation and there are kits that you can get in the pharmacy that will help you time.

14:28 Caller Yeah, I did try that but I didn't get, it didn't work.

14:32 Drew Well, keep working with it. That's the most accurate way.

14:34 Adam What do you do? Where do you put that thermometer?

14:37 Caller Um, in your urine stream.

14:39 Adam On your urine stream? You just pee on it?

14:42 Caller Yeah, and it has like a little felt tip to it.

14:47 Adam You pee on it and it measures the temperature of your urine? Is that how it works?

14:50 Drew No, there are different kinds of kits out there. There are things, there's basal body temperature things, but there's also ways of measuring the hormones in your system.

14:56 Adam Oh, I see. This isn't the temperature thing.

14:58 Caller And I don't know how to do that whole counting thing because my period is irregular.

15:03 Drew Well, then you can't do the counting thing.

15:04 Caller Right.

15:05 Drew So you got to use one of those kits. Maybe you didn't ovulate that cycle.

15:09 Adam Do you not ovulate every cycle?

15:10 Drew Not when you're irregular. Sometimes you don't.

15:12 Interesting.

15:14 Adam So, will you test yourself every day or will you test it, let's say, you know, 14 days after your period?

15:21 Drew What did you do?

15:22 Caller I've been doing it every other day.

15:24 Drew Yeah, she's pretty irregular, so.

15:25 Caller And it's come down to we're doing it every day now.

15:28 Drew Having sex every day?

15:29 Caller Yeah.

15:30 Drew That's rough. You know what's happening. Her boyfriend's going there and rigging the kit.

15:34 Caller The husband.

15:35 Drew The husband, yeah. It's quite a game.

15:37 Adam He's peeing on the felt tip before you get to it.

15:40 Caller This is what's happening. I usually tell my husband, OK, just be ready when I get home. But he's all like, no, I'm going to strike down.

15:48 Drew Oh, he's done.

15:49 Caller Now he doesn't want to. But you know, we do, but.

15:52 Drew That could be part of it too. You know, you sort of empty his chamber too much and the sperm count can drop a little bit.

15:57 Really?

15:58 Caller Yeah.

15:58 Hmm.

16:00 Drew You want to really try to hit it on the target if you can.

16:02 Caller Right. So, would you say that if I was to have less stress, that would help?

16:08 Drew Yes. Yes. Probably. Possibly.

16:10 Adam It couldn't hurt. What do you plan on doing? Quitting a job?

16:15 Yeah.

16:16 Caller I really need to have the two jobs. I just had to keep myself entertained because he works late. So.

16:21 Adam Really?

16:22 Drew Two jobs.

16:23 Adam You're one of those people who works because you enjoy it?

16:25 Caller Yeah.

16:25 Adam Oh, we could never spend time together. I'd strangle you.

16:30 Caller Hey, but I get to go all places throughout. Last year we went to Egypt, though.

16:35 Adam Really? With your job?

16:37 Caller Well, not my job, but because of the money we got.

16:39 Adam Oh, I see. All right. Good times there, baby.

16:43 OK. Well, thanks a lot.

16:44 Caller Good luck.

16:44 Adam All right.

16:45 Caller Thank you.

16:45 Adam We keep whizzing on that felt. She didn't sound like a world traveler to me. I mean, you wouldn't have guessed that Mary went to Egypt last year, would you?

16:55 Drew Well, some people go and it's so they visit the resorts and It's probably got relatives there.

17:01 Adam Dave?

17:01 Yes.

17:02 Adam You're 26?

17:02 Caller Yes.

17:03 Adam What's up?

17:04 Caller I sweat dramatically, but exclusively from my brow.

17:08 Adam Nice. Yeah, me too, brother.

17:09 Caller Like I don't get pits or anything and I sort of botox injections.

17:14 Drew Botox for sweating, huh?

17:15 Caller Yeah.

17:15 Adam Interesting.

17:16 Caller I've heard of people getting that in their palms who sweat excessively in their palms. Yeah.

17:22 Drew There are different things they can do for the palms. They sort of try to block out the nervous root in the armpit basically.

17:29 Adam Botox is that poison that very highly toxins.

17:32 Drew Botulism.

17:33 Caller Right.

17:33 Adam Poison that in very small amounts is basically paralyzes the area and they use it for wrinkles. But I could see it working for sweating. I guess if you paralyze the area that's sweated, maybe it wouldn't produce moisture.

17:49 Drew It's not so much motor paralysis as it must somehow interfere with the nervous input to that area and that's what causes the sweating.

17:54 Adam Yeah, I don't mean that the movement causes sweat but I just mean it just screws up, it sort of deadens that area. Did it work Dave?

18:03 Caller No, I'm wondering about it. I haven't had it done.

18:05 Adam Oh, I see.

18:06 Drew Well if it works, let's call you back because Adam will get it done.

18:08 Adam Yeah, who said to do that?

18:11 Caller I saw a special on 2020 on it.

18:13 Drew Why don't you call Marcel?

18:14 Caller He'll do it for you.

18:15 Drew He's got botox.

18:16 Adam He's calling from Denver. Oh, you want me?

18:18 Caller Yeah.

18:18 Adam I'm too lazy. I don't care. I sweat. But now I'm like a black minister. People expect it.

18:25 Caller You know what I mean?

18:27 Caller Is there a reason why I sweat exclusively?

18:30 Adam No.

18:30 Drew This is the Corolla syndrome.

18:32 Adam That's where you're set up.

18:34 Caller You have the same thing.

18:35 Adam Exactly.

18:35 Drew He doesn't give a drop from anywhere else.

18:38 Adam No. My ass sweats. I mean, for all you ladies listening, who are masturbating right now. No. My armpits. I'm one of the few guys you'll ever see that will have bone dry armpits and sweat streaming down my face.

18:52 Caller I'm in that movie. That's me.

18:53 Drew Yeah.

18:53 Adam But Dave, here's why I'm screwed. You work at El Pollo Loco and I got to do a goddamn TV show where I'm sweating all over the place.

19:01 Drew In front of 300 degree light.

19:02 Adam Yeah. Under a bunch of lights and everyone thinks I'm having heroin withdrawal.

19:06 Drew Hey, you're screwed. How about the people sitting next to you? Waiting for you to finish spritzing and wipe your brown, get the make up back in.

19:11 Adam What a pain in the ass. How dare you, sir? How dare you barge into my studio and attack my brow? I'm sorry, Dave.

19:20 Caller Go ahead. But you know, I appear nervous when it happens.

19:24 Adam You know why?

19:24 Drew Shifty.

19:25 Caller I'm really self-confident about that.

19:26 Drew Shifty. You look untrustworthy.

19:30 Adam Shifty meets Dicey.

19:32 Caller Yeah.

19:33 Adam You know what Shifty is? Shifty is like Dicey with a plan. But Dave, here's the other back breaker about sweat on the brow. Most people by the time the sweat forms on the brow are in a full-fledged internal panic. Do you know what I'm saying? Which is here's the breakdown on sweat. You go on a job interview.

19:56 Drew Oh, most people. Yeah.

19:57 Adam You go on a job interview and everyone's going to have little patches under their armpits.

20:01 Drew Yeah.

20:02 Adam Right? That's expected.

20:03 Drew Yeah.

20:03 Adam Like if a guy sat across from you at the desk and you were interviewing him for a job and he got up, you notice when he's walking away, you saw his dress shirt, you saw a little patch under the arm, you wouldn't think anything of it.

20:12 Drew No.

20:13 Adam You think, all right, the guy, it's a little panicked.

20:14 Drew He's nervous.

20:15 Adam The guy's a little nervous. It's fine. But if it was dripping down his forehead, you'd say, this guy's basically a murderer.

20:22 Drew Well, and it also becomes, hey, this guy can't handle stress. He's freaking out.

20:25 Adam Right. Because you think by the time it gets to the point where it's coming from his forehead, this guy's in a full panic.

20:31 Drew Yeah.

20:32 Adam But for some people, me and Dave, the cursed ones, this sweat will begin on the forehead just like is easily or even more easily than the guy would start under the pit.

20:43 Drew Yeah.

20:43 Adam And people will not go, oh, he just sweats a lot from his forehead. They'll go, this guy's panicking.

20:49 Drew Yeah.

20:49 Adam And then you realize they realize it and you panic more.

20:52 Drew Then you do panic.

20:53 Caller Now you sweat more.

20:54 Drew And you panic.

20:54 Adam It's a great curse. I noticed my mother does that, by the way. I think it's a hereditary thing.

21:01 Drew Nice.

21:01 Adam Just different sweat glands concentrate in different places, Drew. Is that it?

21:04 Drew It's probably more the input, the nerve input.

21:07 Adam But whatever it is, people have their spots.

21:10 Drew Yep.

21:11 Caller All right.

21:12 Adam Daniel?

21:13 Caller Yeah.

21:14 Adam You're 19.

21:15 Caller Yeah.

21:16 Caller I have a girlfriend that tells me that she's four and a half, five months pregnant. And she says she's still kicking and, you know, all the normal symptoms. But when I look at her, I don't see any physical, you know, evidence that she really is. And I kind of get a little suspicious that she's lying to me.

21:34 Drew You look at her naked or you look at her in clothes?

21:37 Caller Naked. Even.

21:38 Adam Wait a minute. Are you naked? I'm confused.

21:43 Drew It's hard to imagine that she's so pregnant that there is active movement in the uterus and you can't see it. But it is certainly possible to have very little, very obvious change at four months. It's possible, yeah.

21:57 Caller So there wouldn't... That just seems a little strange.

22:01 Drew It seems strange.

22:02 Caller If a child could be kicking and everything...

22:04 Drew That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying is the strange part. It's not the four months part and you don't see it. It's the kicking part that I find bizarre.

22:11 Adam Yeah, there's women who are four months pregnant that don't show.

22:15 Drew But I wonder if she's not really feeling kicking. She's just feeling some sort of contraction.

22:21 Caller Okay, I was just kind of suspicious of maybe she was just trying to get the attention and...

22:26 Drew Well, it's kind of a heck of a...

22:30 Adam You got a wonderful relationship on your hands there, Daniel. Don't you think eventually she's going to have to say something though? I think his phone cramped out. That's an interesting angle though. I think she's just trying to get attention. And then he's going to call back in eight months. It's like, she claims to have a three-month-old, but I think she's just saying it for attention. Sure, I hear crying and I see her breastfeeding. I don't know. I think it's just a ploy. Oh, that kid's going to be born into a wonderful environment, don't you think? 18, dad doesn't believe it. Says he wants money for college. I think he just wants attention. All right, we're going to take a little break. When we come back, we'll speak to... Can we speak to a chick for Christ's sake?

23:20 Drew There's one up there.

23:21 Adam Jessica? Hey, Lauren, let's get some gals on the line here. Much better. Speak to Jessica. Her husband ignores her. And she don't like that.

23:33 Caller We'll get to the bottom of that after this.

23:35 Caller Hello, this is your radio radio. Loveline will be right back.

24:15 Adam Yep, Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla, that's Dr. Drew over there, phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E 191. Sunday night, we're going to do a little symposium on ecstasy.

24:26 Drew Symposium. If you want someone to tune in, don't call the symposium. We're going to have a debate.

24:32 Adam We're going to have a little rap session on ecstasy. Then Andy Dick, David Alan Greer, and race car driver, Brian Hurda, who's going to be out here for the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach.

24:45 Drew Have you finally been invited to that?

24:47 Adam Let me think about that. You mean to drive in the celebrity race?

24:50 Drew Don't you think it'd be worth it to you to get a publicist just for that? Just for a quarter or something?

24:54 Adam Hold on. I'm thinking whether I was invited to race in that race for the fourth year I've been begging to do it.

25:00 Let me see. No, thank you.

25:06 Adam You know what I like? Well, yes, you need a publicist. Listen, Drew, don't get me going on these goddamn blood sucking publicists.

25:14 Drew Well, it's what they get you.

25:14 Adam If you want to know why certain people are in the cover of certain magazines or how come certain people are in celebrity this or celebrity that, they have people called publicists which are basically, they're sort of, I don't know, is Nazi a profession or is that just more of a way of life? Sort of a Nazi slash prostitute who goes out there and spreads their cheeks basically and takes it up the A for people.

25:45 Drew On your behalf.

25:45 Adam On your behalf.

25:48 Drew Well, I'm surprised you don't have to seem to those.

25:50 Adam In their behalf and they're $1,500 a month basically to spread those cheeks. Maybe two grand.

25:56 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

25:57 Adam And they're all idiots. They really are. And they think they're celebrities and they go out and get people in races and things and if you're despicable enough to have one in your service then you get to do these things. So it does pay off a couple of times a year but overall when you just stand back and look at your life I think it doesn't. You know what I'm saying? Listen, you can steal cable from your neighbor, it's cheaper. But you got to look in the mirror when you wake up in the morning. That's what publicists do. All right, anyway. Here's the thing though, if they put me in their race, I got a radio show, I'd be talking about it every night. It makes good sense.

26:39 Drew You would think that Grampian Long Beach needs more people down there.

26:44 Adam They advertise, so they must want them. Jessica?

26:48 Yeah.

26:48 Adam I'm going anyway. You're 19, what's up?

26:51 Caller I've been married for a little bit over a year. We've been having a lot of problems. We broke up, we split up, and I went back to live with my mom and finally we're back together. But the thing is now that we hardly ever spend time together. I'm not working, but he works. I always tell him I feel like I'm in need for attention. I'm just scared that if he doesn't give it to me, I don't want to go anywhere else for it.

27:25 Drew This is the eternal, this is a classic struggle, male-female struggle, which is the woman is begging for just some focused attention, some communication, some connection, and the man doesn't hear it, doesn't really know what you're talking about even, Jessica, thinks everything is fine, and all of a sudden the girl is cheating.

27:41 Adam How old is he?

27:42 Caller He's 19 also.

27:44 Adam What does he do for a living?

27:45 Caller He works as a security guard.

27:47 Caller No!

27:49 Adam Bad times. All right. And do you have sex?

27:54 Caller Yeah.

27:54 Caller Like, I mean, right now, not really that much. The thing is that we had like a lot of problems and he lost feeling for me because, you know, we went through a lot of like crap before.

28:05 Drew Like, what do you mean?

28:06 Adam She cheated?

28:08 Caller I cheated.

28:09 Adam Yeah. That's why we lost this feeling.

28:11 Caller I really didn't cheat.

28:12 Caller It wasn't like physical. It was something kind of like.

28:15 Drew Well, now you're warmed up to do it again, right? You just sort of threatened that.

28:18 Adam What did you do? Meet somebody on the computer or something?

28:21 Caller No, I had a phone sex with someone.

28:22 Oh.

28:24 Drew Somebody you knew or just somebody you kind of.

28:26 Caller No, somebody I didn't know. And he caught me and ever since then, our relationship has gone downhill.

28:32 Adam How did he catch you?

28:34 He recorded me.

28:35 Caller Oh, that's bad. Oh, humanity.

28:38 Adam That is so good. That is so bad and so good simultaneously.

28:42 Caller Diabolical.

28:43 Adam And like, hold on, Jessica, because I'm not nowhere near done with this now.

28:47 Drew Did he, did he like put a tape recorder on the kitchen table when he came down for breakfast?

28:52 Adam How did he tell, how did he explain to you that he had a tape?

28:55 Caller He just, he, like since he works at Thurgood City, he gets like this stuff. And he, it's like a digital recorder, I guess. And he left, he left in the morning and I was telling my friend about it. And when he came back, he, he listened to it. And, and I didn't really know he was recording me until after, until he told me. And, and I still kind of denied it, you know, but you know, I guess I got caught. So I told him, yeah. And, but ever since then, you know, I mean, I really regret it. I know it was something really stupid.

29:27 Adam But he didn't actually have a recording of you having phone sacks?

29:31 Caller Oh, no, no, no. It was, I was kind of telling my friend about it, you know?

29:34 Adam Yeah. Did you get in any detail with your friend?

29:37 Caller Yeah, it was in detail.

29:38 Adam And, like, you were saying, like, what you were saying?

29:41 Caller Yeah, like everything. And, um, and everything.

29:44 Drew That's another chick thing, right?

29:46 Adam Yeah.

29:47 Drew What is that?

29:48 Adam Well, guys will get into detail about getting it on with a chick, but phone sacks, no.

29:53 Drew Not what they said. Yeah. It would be, like, uncomfortable to talk about.

29:57 Adam Um, and how did you meet the phone sacks guy?

30:00 Caller It was in a party line.

30:02 Adam I see.

30:02 Caller Okay.

30:03 Adam So you're really looking, you're really looking out there.

30:07 Caller Yeah.

30:07 Caller But another thing is that he says that since he was my first, you know, like, my first everything, he thinks, he says that all girls go through this, this spur of a moment that they feel like they have to look out, like, for some other type of attention.

30:24 Drew Well, you're looking for the attention because he's not gratifying your needs for intimacy. But this is why we don't like 19-year-olds to get married is because this is normal 19-year-old behavior is to want to wander and explore.

30:35 Adam Well, it's the TARD leading the TARDs, really, the 19-year-olds. I mean, you guys are spinning around like you're in a rock tumbler.

30:43 Caller So do you think I'm wasting my time, you know, like, trying to work it out?

30:46 Drew Do you have a kid?

30:48 Adam Do you have a kid?

30:49 Caller No, no kid.

30:50 Drew Okay, well, you can do what you want then.

30:52 Adam Hold on a second. Jessica, put the phone down to your vagina.

30:56 I need to talk to it.

30:58 Adam Seriously, put the phone between your legs. Is it down there? No. Put the phone down there. I want to talk to it. Okay.

31:07 Drew Yes, yes, Jessica's vagina.

31:07 Adam Your hymen is? If you let a penis without a condom inside of you, I will fire your ass from Jessica.

31:12 Drew I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood you're in.

31:15 Adam I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood you're in. I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood you're in. I will send you to either Mexico or Canada, I understand.

31:27 Caller I'll have you run out of it.

31:29 Adam I'll send you to either Mexico or Canada, depending on what kind of mood I'm in. If you get pregnant, I will kill you. Do you understand? I'll come in there with a shop vac and clean you out myself. Do not get pregnant. All right, now put Jessica back on. All right, Jessica.

31:47 Caller I can't get pregnant. I can't.

31:49 Drew Whoa, whoa.

31:50 Adam Why not?

31:51 Caller Well, I mean, I've gone to the doctors like so many times already, and they tell me I need hormones.

31:57 Adam Good.

31:57 Drew Yeah, but what does that have to do with getting pregnant?

31:59 Caller I don't know. That's what they tell me. Because I guess my periods are very irregular.

32:03 Adam Don't.

32:05 Drew You can get pregnant, Jessica.

32:06 Adam Don't worry about it. You tell your husband he wants to hang with this. He's got to start putting some effort in. Otherwise, hey, it's one of those things. You get married at 19, you made a mistake.

32:17 Caller That's that.

32:18 Adam Drew, how many adults do you speak to now in life? You're not going to back me up on this, but it's very common to talk to a 29, 30, 35-year-old adult. And they're like, oh yeah, I was married when I was 19. It lasted 18 months. And it didn't even happen to them. They don't even remember.

32:37 Drew Or how many adults do you talk to who are married to their girlfriend from when they were a teenager, even 20, early 20s?

32:43 Adam No.

32:43 Drew Almost none.

32:45 Adam No, but I've talked to a lot of people that got married at 2019 or what have you.

32:50 Drew Ever so briefly.

32:50 Adam They're married for a little under two years. They never had any kids. And if they didn't have a kid, it was like it didn't happen. And you go, well, you ever talk to her or whatever? Oh, yeah, she's great. We just didn't know what we were doing. No big deal. It's like at 19, if you don't have a kid, you just cut your losses. Screw it. He's working at Circuit City. Where the hell?

33:09 Drew Security. Security at Circuit City.

33:10 Adam Oh, yeah. I forgot.

33:11 Drew I love the fact that he's ripping stuff off at Circuit City.

33:14 Caller Just borrowing it.

33:15 Adam Listen, most security guards are felons, not the good ones that work here at Loveline. Diane?

33:20 Caller Yeah?

33:21 Adam You're 19?

33:22 Caller Yeah.

33:23 Adam What's up? They have narcolepsy, but they're not felons.

33:28 Caller Go ahead.

33:30 Caller I'm pretty sure that I'm an nymphomaniac, and I wanted to know what exactly an nymphomaniac is.

33:37 Drew Well, that's not a term that's used anymore. So what are you describing?

33:42 Caller As far back as I can remember, I've been masturbating several times a day, even back when I was like five and four years old, and I've just always masturbated like four or five times a day. Even when I have a boyfriend that I'm sleeping with, I still...

33:57 Drew Okay. Well, this is more...

34:00 Adam How do you masturbate?

34:02 Caller I either use a vibrator or my hand.

34:06 Drew This is more in the order of what's called sexual compulsivity. Unless this is starting to have consequences and get worse with time. That is to say sexual addiction is in the setting of someone with a family history of alcoholism where these kinds of compulsivity is getting more and more sort of risk taking and start costing money and sacrificing your health, and that keeps going in spite of those consequences. That's addiction. What you seem to be describing is sexual compulsivity which usually is the result of sexual abuse in childhood.

34:35 Caller No, there is never anything like that. I did find out from my gynecologist when I went that my cervix is unusually close to the front. Whenever I hear that people can't come during sex, it's just a total shock to me because I've always come usually under a minute, two minutes to under a minute.

34:56 Adam With intercourse? Yeah. I'd like to have a crack at you. It's a little bit of a confidence builder for me.

35:03 Drew But Diane P you crack me from my view probably are multi-orgasmic.

35:07 Caller Oh, all the time.

35:08 Drew Yeah.

35:09 Caller I very rarely only have one.

35:10 Drew See, this is the thing, when women can come in a minute, they're coming 30 times over 30 minutes.

35:15 Adam Right.

35:15 Caller Oh yeah, because my boyfriend, he doesn't last that long. He last maybe like four minutes and he's like all upset about it. I'm like, look, I don't care.

35:24 Adam By the way, I'm picturing this guy driving down I-19 in a pickup truck with three of his buddies stuffed in a cab. She's talking about the multi-orgasm and coming over and over again and he's high-fiving. Then she gets a part where my boyfriend doesn't last very long.

35:41 Drew Deflation.

35:42 Caller That's the thing is I really don't care because four or five minutes, I come like four times.

35:49 Drew That's fine. Is there manic depression in your family?

35:54 Caller No.

35:55 Drew Then there's no alcoholism or drug abuse?

35:57 Caller There's alcoholism in my grandparents, but I really don't drink at all.

36:01 Drew No, but your parents?

36:02 Caller No, not my parents.

36:03 Drew Okay. There was not a lot of sexual activity or sexualization or chaos in your family growing up?

36:10 Caller No. The only really sexual thing that I ever really knew was just me. I don't even remember how it started, but I would have a journal when I was real little. For some reason, I thought that you had to be 18 to have sex and I used to just write in my journal. I can't wait till I turn 18 so I can have sex.

36:28 Adam All right.

36:29 Drew How old were you when you actually did have sex first time?

36:32 Caller How old was I when I first had sex?

36:33 Drew Yeah.

36:34 Adam Ten.

36:34 Drew How old? Fifteen.

36:37 Caller It would have been earlier, but I was actually a very ugly duckling in the early part of my life. So nobody ever really liked me or anything like that.

36:46 Adam Now you're making up for lost time.

36:48 Drew Was there anything else go on neurologically or psychiatrically with you? No.

36:53 Caller Hold on. Hold on.

36:54 Drew I'm just exploring what the possibility.

36:56 Adam Well, look, we can always discount the upper 10 percent and the bottom 10 percent.

37:02 Drew Well, here's why it's potentially a normal just her high degree of sexual orientation without sexual compulsivity. She's not creating chaos in her relationships around.

37:10 Adam Right. She's got a boyfriend, satisfies her.

37:12 Drew Yeah, that's it.

37:12 Adam Hey, Drew, I swear to Christ, I got something on the back of my neck.

37:15 Drew You would get it?

37:16 Adam It's a cross between a zit and a carbuncle and an ingrown hair. It's right at the hairline. I don't know if it's a mosquito bite. I can't see the goddamn thing.

37:25 Drew You want me to get it?

37:26 Adam I need you to take a look at it.

37:27 Caller All right.

37:28 Adam Do you have a crocheting needle on you?

37:32 Drew No, I don't have any instruments in my car.

37:33 Caller Damn.

37:34 Adam No, but I really, I'm gonna lance the thing if I get home.

37:37 Drew If I can find it. Let me look at it.

37:39 Adam All right, I'm gonna take a little break. Drew's gonna lance my neck.

37:43 Caller We'll be back.

37:45 Caller Loveline, Loveline, we'll be right back.

38:18 Caller Hello, this is Ron Jeremy. Now, when I'm not hiding the bacon in some hot and sweaty porno set, I'm listening to Love Lines with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

38:28 Adam Oh, yes, he is.

38:29 Drew I told you I was up in Spokane about a month ago, and I'm walking to the airport.

38:32 Caller Drew!

38:33 Caller Hey, dude.

38:35 Drew Ron Jeremy.

38:36 Adam He's a big fan of your work.

38:38 Drew He's actually a nice guy.

38:39 Adam I like Ron Jeremy, too.

38:41 Drew I mean...

38:42 Adam Very down to earth.

38:42 Drew But given what he does, he's like a disarmingly nice guy. You know what I mean? You wouldn't think that all those years in that business, he would be such a nice guy.

38:51 Adam Yeah. Well, he's a big, fat, hairy guy who's getting a steady flow of new tail in every year. He's like the dean of some school that gets to nail the freshman class every year for the last 25 years. How bad a deal is that going to be? Drew inspected the back of my neck and says it's a... What is it, Drew?

39:16 Drew Carbuncle. Carbuncle?

39:17 Adam Why won't it pop?

39:18 Drew It's not ripe yet.

39:21 Adam No, it's been there for like three or four days.

39:23 Drew These actually form little cysts when you get them back.

39:25 Adam I'm lancing it when I get home tonight.

39:27 Drew You might not be happy. It may not be ripe.

39:29 Adam No, I don't care. I've worked on myself many times.

39:32 Drew I can see you've been working on this one. The surface is completely irritated. I scratch it.

39:35 Adam Well, I can't stand it. I got a lump on the back of my... It's not a lump. It's the size of a good mosquito bite, but it's driving me nuts. I've got to tell you, it's Thursday night. Thursday is potpourri night here on Loveline. That means I can talk about stuff. I'm 36 years old. I woke up the other day and had a huge zit on my back. I'm talking about whitehead, just big snow camp. It really looked like...

39:57 Drew Dude, I took Accutane a year ago.

39:59 Adam Yeah, Drew's in his 50s. He gets zits. I had a zit on my back that looked like Mount Fuji. It was big and it was white, snow camped on the top. I don't get too many whiteheads. I just get a little lump, but I don't get that satisfaction. I had it right on my back, right on my shoulder blade. I stood in that bathroom mirror, I turned my head around, I cocked my other arm. Eventually, I'm really convinced I'm going to need, I'm going to break a rib one day or something, trying to squeeze a zit on my back, it's going to be humiliating. I turn around, I squeeze this thing, I heard it go. You know when you get that zit where you hear it go? It sounds like a cannon in the distance, and the thing just shot right by my nose and smacked the mirror, and I hadn't felt better in years. It was like the most gratifying thing I had done in years. You know, like I hosted the Billboard Awards, and this was much more gratifying. This felt better than anything I had done in the last three years. It really did. That thing made that little, that little, it's kind of a crisp sound, a little pop, you know, and a zit went flying, a head went sailing by my nose, and stuck to the mirror. I high-fived myself. Wonderful.

41:12 Drew Did you have to go down and tell somebody? Call a friend?

41:14 Adam It was great. It was great. John?

41:18 Hello?

41:18 Adam You're 13, what's up?

41:20 Caller Yeah, like, say I would wake up in the morning, and like, I'd masturbate and have an erection, and it could be like 10 o'clock at night after, and I still can't have another erection, and like, I can't have any more than one in one day.

41:34 Drew Erections?

41:35 Caller Yeah. Why is that?

41:38 Drew Are you masturbating too much?

41:42 Caller I guess. I don't really think so, but...

41:44 Adam What is this? I'm not totally sure what this question is.

41:46 Drew I'm not quite clear either. Yeah, why doesn't he have more erections? Is that the question?

41:50 Caller Because like, all right, say, not really an erection, but like, no semen or anything comes, you know, no cum comes out.

41:58 Adam What do you got going on in the background? A paint can shaker?

42:02 Caller No, it's on my fan. So, like, you know, just like wake up in the morning and then I'd masturbate and...

42:11 Drew Yeah, but you don't masturbate to orgasm.

42:13 Caller Yeah. And then like, it could be a couple hours, like the day is passing by and then I can't have another one, like nothing comes out.

42:22 Adam Where are you calling from? The Dominican Republic? What's going on with the fan over there?

42:27 Caller Oh, you want me to turn it off?

42:28 Adam Yeah, where are you calling from?

42:29 Caller Um, what state or city?

42:31 Adam State.

42:32 Caller Um, California.

42:33 Adam All right. I mean, we're in California. It doesn't seem too warm tonight, but all right.

42:39 Caller Well, it's because I have dogs and they're, like, really hot.

42:42 Caller I see.

42:43 Caller Okay.

42:43 Adam I don't even want to get into that.

42:46 Drew You had enough dogs.

42:46 Adam You're saying you can only masturbate once a day. And when you try to do it later on in the day, nothing comes out.

42:54 Caller No.

42:55 Adam Okay. You're 13, buddy.

42:57 Drew Yeah, that's you. That's fine. There's nothing wrong with that.

43:00 Adam You haven't earned it yet.

43:01 Caller Oh.

43:03 Adam You'll get multi-orgasmic, multi-self-orgasmic later on in life. You haven't honed your technique yet.

43:11 Caller Oh, okay. I see what you mean.

43:13 Adam Okay.

43:14 Drew It's gonna... And this may just be your rhythm. That may just be you. That's fine. That's fine. Relax. No, but... It's all good.

43:21 Adam You know what I was thinking of? I mean, this is how life is. Drew, remember the first time... Remember when you took your driving test at 16?

43:29 Drew Right.

43:30 Adam Took you 15 minutes to pull out of the driveway?

43:32 Drew Oh, yeah.

43:32 Adam Then you put the seat belt on, check the mirror, use the hand signals. Then you had the emergency brake on. You start pulling out. Now what do you do when you get in your car?

43:41 Drew Don't even think about it. You barely wake up.

43:43 Adam Yeah. I mean, when you pull into your house and get out of your car, the car's still rolling.

43:47 Drew Right?

43:47 Adam You go out the sunroof, car hits a tire. You have an old tugboat tire out front there. Sure. You got it down. You don't even think about it now, right? Same with everything. Same with masturbation. He's 13. I wasn't even masturbating at 13. He's ahead of the curve. Don't panic yet. Emily, you're 27?

44:11 Caller Yeah.

44:12 Adam What's up?

44:12 Caller Okay, I've got a little girl that's almost a year old and I'm still breast feeding her. And recently I've started masturbating more than usual. When I get to the point of orgasm, my milk lets down. And when I actually have the orgasm, it runs all over the place.

44:30 And it's hard to believe that.

44:32 Drew Well, that's normal.

44:34 Caller It is?

44:35 Drew Yeah.

44:36 Adam That's a bad time, so.

44:37 Drew This is when we get sort of activity in the breast when they're sexually aroused.

44:42 Adam Do you have a husband?

44:43 Caller Yeah. I'm married. I've been married for almost six years.

44:46 Drew Why are you masturbating so much?

44:48 Caller Well, he hasn't been exactly well yet lately.

44:51 Drew What's the matter?

44:53 Caller I'd rather not say. That's his personal stuff.

44:56 Drew Well, we're all familiar with who he is and we wouldn't want him to be out.

44:59 Adam Sure. We know his name.

45:01 Caller Yeah.

45:02 Adam You're talking to a doctor. You have to say what's wrong with him. He can have you arrested.

45:07 Drew Either depressed or addicted.

45:09 Adam What's he got going? Has he got the hiv?

45:12 Caller I'm not exactly sure.

45:14 Adam He's depressed?

45:16 Caller No, I don't think he's depressed. I think he's more stressed lately.

45:20 Adam Psychological, though, not physiological, right?

45:23 A little bit of both.

45:24 Adam I see. He works hard? And he's kind of stressed out?

45:29 Caller He doesn't want to go to a doctor to actually get any kind of treatment for what may be wrong because he doesn't want to end up being told he can't work.

45:40 Adam He's got a little, he has a little problem with his penis, maybe? He has a little rectal difficulty?

45:47 Caller Not really.

45:48 Drew He's just not interested?

45:49 Adam Not really.

45:50 Drew He's not interested and he's blaming it on work? How long has he been, but he ain't blaming it on work?

45:55 Uh, a couple months.

45:57 Drew How old is your baby?

45:58 Caller Uh, she'll be a year old in a couple of weeks.

46:02 Drew And so initially after the child was born, your sexual relationship was normal?

46:07 Caller For a few months.

46:08 Adam What kind of work does he do?

46:10 Caller Um, he's an independent contractor.

46:13 Adam I see.

46:14 Drew Construction.

46:15 Adam Bad times. What's he do, that, uh, drop ceilings?

46:20 Caller No, um.

46:21 Adam Drywall?

46:21 Caller Window coverings.

46:23 Adam Uh oh. Gay?

46:24 Caller No.

46:25 Adam Gay?

46:26 Caller No.

46:26 Adam Oh, yes. Blinds and things like that? Yes? Gay.

46:32 Well, I didn't call to talk about him, though.

46:34 Drew All right.

46:35 Adam He's struggling with his sexuality.

46:37 Drew Oh, please.

46:38 Adam It's true. Independent contractor. Window covering. Are you kidding me?

46:42 No.

46:44 Adam All right. Uh, what the hell? Oh, you're nipples. Yeah, that's gonna happen.

46:48 Drew That's normal.

46:48 Adam But you know what, Emily, really, all kidding aside, this guy, this guy has to straighten up because he's got a young girl now. Do you hear what these girls are going through, calling this show whose daddy isn't around for them? You know what happens to them? They're doing porn by the time they're 12. You gotta get, she must have a present father. Okay? So unfortunately, that's part of your job too. You're gonna have to really get him back into this thing.

47:18 Caller Well, see, we work opposite hours, so he takes part of the child care as well. When he gets home from work, that's when I leave.

47:27 Adam I see. Well, that's totally different, then.

47:29 Caller Okay.

47:31 Adam What did that mean, by the way?

47:32 Drew There's a lot more going on here.

47:33 Adam But was that, did that mean anything?

47:34 Drew No.

47:35 Adam Okay, we'll be back.

47:37 You know what I'm saying out there?

47:38 Caller Adam and Dr. Drew will be right back on Loveline.

48:20 Adam Yeah, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew, the money-grubbing Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOV-1. Doing a little chat on X to see Sunday night. Drew, you tried the X before?

48:37 Drew No, I can't say I have. Although, I'm sure if I were 19, I would have done that.

48:41 Caller Oh, 19?

48:42 Drew You know what I mean? If I was 19, I'm sure it would have been very alluring, very difficult not to.

48:46 Adam Just 19, though.

48:48 Drew But do you know what I mean? 19 year olds don't have great judgment about this kind of thing.

48:50 Adam Yeah, but only 19, huh? You wouldn't go into your 30? No?

48:56 Drew No.

48:56 Adam Okay. Yeah, me neither. Just checking. All right, and then Andy Dick on Monday, David Alan Greer on Tuesday.

49:03 Jesus Christ in heaven!

49:07 Adam Thanks. And Brian Herda on Wednesday. Brian is a fairly famous race car driver.

49:14 Drew He's been coming here for a long time.

49:15 Adam Yeah. Good guy. And he'll be racing in the Toyota Grand Prix. You know, I'm so old school, I can barely stop saying Toyota Times Grand Prix of Long Beach, which they dropped about 15 years ago, I think the LA Times. But I used to go to it way back when. Angela?

49:36 Hello?

49:37 Adam You're 23.

49:38 Caller Yes, I am. I've been with my boyfriend for four years. And I live with him. And one year into our relationship, I started abusing him. I physically abused him. I would hit him with a fist. I would slap him.

49:59 Drew Have you stopped this?

50:02 Caller Once in a while, I still do it. I've called him names. I can't control my anger.

50:09 Drew You know, it's against the law. I mean, there are domestic violence laws in California that are very stringent.

50:14 Caller Yeah, I know. We've had the police called out.

50:18 Adam How many times you had the police call out?

50:22 Caller I'm not sure. Maybe four or five times.

50:24 Adam Yeah. Hey, Angela, you think that goddamn police department is your personal police department?

50:32 Caller No.

50:32 Adam All right. Stop it.

50:33 Caller I'm not the one. I'm not the one that called them.

50:35 Adam Yeah, you're the one who caused the call, though.

50:38 Caller Yeah.

50:39 Adam Listen, when I'm in charge, the third time they come to any residence in less than 18 months, they put a bullet in everyone's head.

50:46 Caller But they don't do nothing.

50:47 Adam I wish they would. They don't got time for that nonsense, you screwball. Jesus Christ. Who beat you?

50:57 Caller Um, what do you mean?

50:58 Drew Who? Who physically beat you?

51:00 Adam Your dad, somebody who beat on you growing up? I'm going to take a leak. You get the answer to this one, all right?

51:10 Caller I don't think that's funny.

51:11 Adam Who beat on you?

51:14 Caller My mom, okay. My mom was an alcoholic when I was growing up, and I lived with my aunt and uncle, and they were, they were like, you can't really say they were physically abusive.

51:27 Drew Emotionally abusive. They were emotionally abusive.

51:28 Caller Emotionally, um, um, they never showed me love.

51:34 Adam Right. All right. I understand.

51:36 Drew We get the picture. Abandonment, chaos.

51:40 Adam I'd like to, I'd like to put them in jail too. Yeah. You need to get some counseling, right?

51:46 Caller Let's see. Um, I, I have two kids. Since last year, since last year, when I was pregnant with my second child, he has recently started hitting me. He's hit me. Um, he's knocked me on the floor. And then, um, a second time he has, um, given me a black eye and I didn't do nothing to him.

52:10 Drew How old is he?

52:11 Caller He's, um, like 30, 34, 35.

52:16 Drew Well, this is just a total mess, Angela.

52:18 Adam Hey, Angela. All right, I got, I got some very key, key things for you. First, you cannot get pregnant again. Do you hear me?

52:27 Caller Yes.

52:28 Adam You cannot have any more kids. Do you understand that? Do you have any form of birth control that you're using?

52:37 Caller No.

52:38 Adam You do?

52:39 Caller Yes.

52:40 Adam What are you using?

52:41 Caller Birth control pills.

52:42 Adam Okay. Okay. You stay on those and you be very regular with those because you cannot afford to get pregnant. We as a country cannot afford for you to get pregnant again. Number two, are you abusing any substances? Any liquor, pills, or weed, or anything like that?

52:58 Caller No.

52:59 Adam Huh?

53:00 Caller No.

53:00 Adam You're not. And what about your husband or boyfriend?

53:04 Caller He does.

53:05 Adam Okay. Here's the deal, Angela. Here, I'm just going to put it in a nutshell. You have to clean up your situation and your act so that you don't raise your kids how you were raised. Do you want to repeat that ugly cycle?

53:24 Drew It's already well underway, though.

53:25 Adam I know the gears are, I mean, how old are your kids?

53:29 Caller One's going to be three and the other one's five months.

53:32 Adam Okay. Do you want them to have the same childhood you had?

53:36 Drew Or actually worse.

53:37 Adam Or marginally worse? Is that what you want? No. Then you got to do something about it. You can't, if this guy's abusive, you got to get away from him.

53:47 Drew You got to stop.

53:47 Adam You can't fight in front of these kids. You can't have the cops showing up. You can't get pregnant again. You have to create a stable environment.

53:55 Drew You have to want to change.

53:58 Adam I understand you are hurt, and I understand there's a lot of pain in your heart and all that horrible stuff, but it's too late now. You have kids. You have to step up.

54:08 Drew There's medication that can help with the impulse control, with the pain of the depression, the anger you're feeling, and there's treatment out there. You can meet with the groups available to help you deal with anger management, domestic violence victims groups. There's all kinds of stuff out there, but you have to take advantage of it. Parenting classes, all stuff you need.

54:26 Adam Go to the local church, start getting involved with it. Use any resources you can. You have to create a stable environment for these kids. You understand?

54:38 Drew That's going to be your focus.

54:39 Adam That's it. That's your number one job in life. Sorry, you know, you had the kind of life you had, but I swear to Christ, if you repeat it for your kids, you're no better than your aunt, uncle, and your parents were. Okay?

55:01 Caller Oh, boy.

55:06 Adam I just threw that mic away. Uh, yeah.

55:11 It wasn't the mic. It was a connection.

55:12 Adam I don't care. I just threw the mic. Who cares? The cop's showing up.

55:18 Caller Oh, oh, oh!

55:22 Adam Drives me insane. Everyone's got their own personal police force out there.

55:26 Caller Philip?

55:28 Caller My main, main, main name.

55:29 Adam What's happening there, Philip? That's my main, main, main name.

55:34 Caller Adam, you're a genius.

55:35 Adam Well, thank you. I know that. I'm waiting to be discovered.

55:38 Caller Drew, I love the website.

55:39 Drew Thank you, Bill.

55:40 Caller I need your help, Drew. I'm lusting after young women, and I don't want to turn out to be one of those creeps that ends up having all these girls call your show.

55:51 Adam How, how young?

55:55 Caller No. I'm thirty-three. I know it's wrong, but I cannot shake the fantasy.

56:01 Adam I understand. Well, you're lucky you labeled me a genius at the onset, because I won't be nearly as hard on you now.

56:09 Caller But I realize that it's wrong.

56:11 Adam Yeah.

56:11 Caller I can't help it.

56:13 Adam Well, when you say lusting after, what do you mean exactly?

56:17 Caller Well, of course, masturbatory fantasy is total.

56:21 Drew But you're not having any plan to do something with a fourteen-year-old.

56:24 Caller No, but occasionally you'll get these young girls flirt with you, and it's like, every time, it's like, close call. I don't want to cross that line. And, you know, it's a huge repercussion.

56:37 Adam I understand. But what are you, a crossing guard? Or were you running into a fourteen- and fifteen-year-old? You know, people talk about that. Where do you see a god damn fourteen-year-old girl anymore? Where are you going?

56:50 Caller Where do you work?

56:53 Caller I do remodeling on people's houses. I'm a single father. Without bragging, I got a lot of chicks digging on me.

57:04 Adam Having a kid is a single father? Having a kid is like having a dog.

57:08 It's a chick magnet.

57:10 Caller Yeah, and everybody pats me on the head like I did something. I feel sorry for all the single moms out there.

57:15 Adam I know.

57:15 Caller They get the same recognition.

57:17 Adam Yeah, like for them.

57:18 Caller Of course, I bust my butt to do it, but you know, there's a million other people.

57:22 Adam How old is your daughter or son?

57:24 Caller She's six.

57:26 Adam Six. All right. Well, where are you coming across the 15 or 14 year olds?

57:31 Caller I live in an apartment complex. They're in the pool every summer. You know, I take my kid to the... And you know, I don't want 10 years from now to be looking at my daughter's friends and them all hating Mr., you know.

57:42 Adam No, no.

57:42 Caller Yeah, Mr. Philip.

57:44 Adam No, it'll be eight years.

57:45 Drew Listen, just because you have feelings doesn't mean you have to indulge in them or have to act on them.

57:52 Adam You can really it's really what separates us from the animal kingdom.

57:57 Drew Absolutely.

57:59 Adam It's it's all part of being evolved. It really is. It's what it's what makes you a human being. You get to want to do things. You get to have impulses and then you get to sort of rise above them, transcend those. You can do it, everybody. You can want a second helping of dessert and not have it. You can want to knock a guy over and take his cell phone from him and not do it. You can want a beer and realize that you have to drive a school bus and not have that beer. It's all think about all the great people. Most of the great people, not all of them, but most of the people who you remember throughout history, these are all people that wanted to do something but yet did something else that was more important. They put their own feelings aside for a moment, didn't act on impulse.

58:53 Drew Listen, if he developed a relationship with somebody even close to his own age, he wouldn't be so ridiculously preoccupied. He's got nothing else going on as part of the deal.

59:02 Adam No. He's in demand, though, according to him.

59:05 Drew Yeah, with the 14 year old.

59:07 Caller Alright. Oh, I really...

59:12 Drew He doesn't have to be registered, you know?

59:15 Yeah.

59:16 Drew Local police department.

59:18 Adam Well, I'm just going to tag him when I'm in charge. I'm going to ask our last caller, the young female, will be sterilized when they show up to the house for the third domestic dispute call in as many months and guys like Philip will be tagged. They can follow their migration down to Florida every spring.

59:40 Erica? Hi.

59:42 Adam You're 22. What's up?

59:44 Caller I'm just wondering, because I've been in a relationship nine years with my boyfriend and we have two kids. Lately, he just doesn't want to be with me. We don't kiss. I mean, he just comes home and watches TV.

59:58 Adam Nine years?

59:59 Drew Is he depressed?

1:00:00 Caller Huh?

1:00:00 Drew Is he depressed?

1:00:01 Caller I don't know what's wrong with him. He's like my best friend, but it's more like best friend. You know what I mean?

1:00:07 Adam My best friend's Jimmy. I rarely F him.

1:00:10 Drew You kiss a lot, though.

1:00:11 Caller No, we don't even kiss.

1:00:12 Drew No, you and Jimmy.

1:00:13 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you were talking about her. Yeah, me and Jimmy. Absolutely.

1:00:19 Caller So I don't know what to do. I mean, I've tried, you know, Teddy's and even trying to entice them.

1:00:24 Adam It never works.

1:00:25 Caller It doesn't work.

1:00:27 Adam You know, basically all that stuff, guys like that stuff because it's on a Victoria's Secret model and our whole plan would be-

1:00:34 Drew Get it off.

1:00:34 Caller Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:36 Adam You know, it's funny. Guys love lingerie so much. That's why it's like, uh-huh. Now, I can take it off.

1:00:42 Drew Quick.

1:00:42 Caller Take it off.

1:00:43 Drew Quick.

1:00:44 Caller Yeah.

1:00:45 Adam Spread it out so I don't ruin the comforter.

1:00:50 Caller Yeah.

1:00:51 Adam We love it so much we want you to get rid of it.

1:00:53 Caller But what can I do?

1:00:54 Caller Okay.

1:00:55 Adam How old is this guy?

1:00:56 Caller He's 20.

1:00:58 Adam How old?

1:00:59 Caller 20.

1:00:59 Adam Okay. Let me do some math here for just one hot second here. You've been with this guy for nine years?

1:01:07 Caller Yeah.

1:01:12 Adam He's 20.

1:01:13 Caller I was 13.

1:01:16 Adam Twelve and 13, you guys hooked up.

1:01:19 Caller Yeah.

1:01:19 Drew How old were you when you had the first child?

1:01:21 Caller I was 15 and he was 14.

1:01:24 Drew Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

1:01:27 Adam Hold on a second. I'm no mathematician, but at a certain point, don't their ages cross and then the child gets older than the parent?

1:01:35 Drew Yeah. Has to be.

1:01:37 Adam Like, when the kid... Now, right now...

1:01:39 Drew Well, the problem is...

1:01:39 Adam Right now, you're 22 and your kid is 7, right? But I'm saying, when you're 30, the kid will be 21. And when you're 45, the kid will be 47.

1:01:51 Drew But...

1:01:52 Adam He'll die of natural causes before you do.

1:01:54 Drew But the child will be the parent at around age 10.

1:01:57 Adam Oh, correct.

1:01:57 Drew You know what I'm saying?

1:01:59 Adam Really? Two kids, huh, baby?

1:02:01 Caller Yeah. Well, I mean, we had a real good relationship before. We would, like, do everything and...

1:02:06 Adam All right. All right. All right. You taking care of these kids?

1:02:09 Caller Yeah. You know, they're taking care of good, and he's a good dad. He takes care of them, but he's just, like, he comes home and...

1:02:15 Adam Are they girls or boys?

1:02:16 Caller Boys.

1:02:17 Adam Two boys?

1:02:18 Caller Yeah.

1:02:19 Caller I'm going to crash.

1:02:21 Adam All right. I'm going to Canada. These kids are going to hold...

1:02:24 Drew What's your question? How do you get your boyfriend back involved?

1:02:28 Caller Yeah. Just, you know, sleep with me or just...

1:02:31 Drew Well, if something's wrong, either he's got something stressing him out or he's checked out of the relationship for some reason, and if he's not willing to talk to you about it, it's time to get a professional to help you get him to the place where he can talk about it.

1:02:44 Adam What's he do for a living?

1:02:45 Caller He's a technician?

1:02:46 Adam I see. Yeah. You listen. You sound like a good person. You sound like you're a good mom. It sounds like you're trying. This guy needs a little kickstart. You gotta just tell him, hey, listen, we're raising kids here. I need you involved. I bet he's depressed. Yeah, it could be. I mean, this has taken on a little bit of a theme tonight. Let's get the guy involved.

1:03:13 Drew Yeah. What's he be smoking pot or something? Might be able to do something about it.

1:03:15 Adam I had a thought.

1:03:16 Drew Is he smoking pot regularly?

1:03:18 Caller Him?

1:03:18 Drew Yeah.

1:03:19 Caller Yeah, he smokes pot every day.

1:03:20 Drew There you go. There you go. That screws with your sex drive big time. And it makes you depressed.

1:03:26 Adam And he thinks, you know, the kids are too young or they, you know, these idiots who say, oh, no, no, no, I never smoke in front of the kid. Yeah, you don't smoke in front of kid. You go into your room, you talk out, then you come back and you bake the whole day in front of the kids.

1:03:41 Drew And a loaded parent is an abandoning parent. It's a very traumatic circumstance for a child to be in, to have a loaded parent.

1:03:48 Adam Yeah, because you're checking out.

1:03:51 Drew You're abandoning. And that's traumatizing the kids. He's getting depressed. He's leaving you. He needs to have his marijuana addiction treated, Erica, that's it. One of the ways you can motivate him to get into treatment is to go to Al-Anon yourself, get a sponsor, work the program. And oftentimes people grow, the codependent, they grow so much in that process that it freaks out the addict and they start becoming willing to do something about this.

1:04:13 Adam All right.

1:04:13 Caller Okay.

1:04:14 Adam And no more kids.

1:04:15 Caller Of course not.

1:04:16 Adam I'm going to send you $100 every month you don't have a child. All right?

1:04:20 Caller All right.

1:04:21 Adam And a windbreaker. All right. Good call with the weed by the way. He's token out every day. Okay. Here's the thing. I was having this thought because we're getting a lot of this. A lot of these screwballs, you know, hooking up with a chick at 11 or 12 years old and staying with them. And at 22, they're checking out. Well, of course, you've been with someone for 10 years and you're barely 20.

1:04:44 Drew Yeah, you'd be trapped. And one of the ways of dealing with feeling trapped is like just withdrawing.

1:04:51 Adam Yeah.

1:04:51 Drew Because you're angry. You're angry that you're trapped.

1:04:54 Adam Let me make this observation slash comment. I haven't thought about it too much, but for women, there's a different chemistry, a different biology at work, and you women, for you, the relationship and your children, that's your life. I mean at 22. That's it. You're man and not all of you, and some of you want to work, and some of you praise Jehovah and have your own other crap going on. But biologically, men and women are different, and a good family, a couple of children, a good husband making a home, that can be plenty for a woman. A 22 year old guy, he still thinks he's going to be an astronaut. I mean yeah, he may love his wife, he may love his kids, but that ain't satisfaction. That's a satisfaction. That's not overall satisfaction for most 22 year old guys.

1:05:47 Drew He also doesn't know who the hell he is. All that fantasy and stuff is trying to figure out who he is in the world.

1:05:52 Adam Right, so now you create a life outside of your wife and your kids. Meanwhile, your wife and your kids, you're their life, they're having their life, and you've stepped outside of it. You remember that feeling?

1:06:04 Drew You grow away from it, yeah.

1:06:05 Adam I remember feeling being in a relationship at 25 and just sort of going, what the hell is going on? What am I doing? I got to get out of here. I don't know what's going on. I think I'm going to go to Europe. I don't know where I want to be. I still thought I was going to be a pirate at 25. I was looking for vessels to board, you know?

1:06:25 Drew Yeah, sure.

1:06:25 Adam I used to fly the Jolly Roger over my mini pickup truck.

1:06:29 Drew You're the coolest.

1:06:30 Adam Yeah, I was looking for booty. I used to bury my money.

1:06:36 Drew And anything else?

1:06:37 Adam Yeah, and a parrot.

1:06:37 Drew And your feces?

1:06:39 Adam How dare you? A guy craps in a popcorn can for six months. He gets labeled. Charlie? Yeah. You're 21. What's up?

1:06:47 Caller Well, my girlfriend seems to think I'm an alcoholic. And I don't know. I'm starting to get a little concerned, actually, because she's brought up some pretty good points. A little concerned.

1:06:59 Adam You ever take one of those tests they put in popular science or popular health?

1:07:04 Drew Caged tests, on my part.

1:07:05 Adam Any of those things where it's like, they give you 20 boxes, and they're like, have you ever done anything you've regretted because of alcohol? You ever blacked out because of alcohol? You ever vomited because of alcohol?

1:07:15 Caller Yeah. I took one of those for my job.

1:07:18 Adam You find a drink loosens you up in social situations. Yes. You feel more confident. Yeah. I checked 19 out of the 20, and they go, if he said yes to more than two of these, you have a serious problem. It's like, oh, come on.

1:07:32 Caller Well, I mean, my dad's a psychologist. I live at home. He's pretty on the ball. I think he'd probably pick up on it.

1:07:40 Drew No. No way.

1:07:42 Adam My dad's a psychologist. He don't know what the hell's going on.

1:07:44 Drew That and he may find his car keys. He may be an alcoholic. Many people go into mental health because of their own issues. He may be an alcoholic and it's very difficult to see reality in family members. It is extremely difficult to be objective.

1:07:56 Adam It's a good angle though, Charlie. It's like, yeah, it's like, well, I'm living with a cop, so I can't be a criminal.

1:08:03 Caller Right. Well, I was just wondering what you guys think.

1:08:06 Adam Well, can you tell us how much you drink?

1:08:08 Caller Well, I work nights during the week, so I don't drink during the week.

1:08:13 Drew Let's stop. Let's define alcoholism.

1:08:17 Adam All right.

1:08:17 Drew All right. Alcoholism is a biological disorder with a genetic basis. We need to see some evidence of family history. It is marked by progressive use despite consequences, meaning adverse impact on your relationships, your work, your health, your financial situation or legal problems, and then denial. And that's it. You don't have to use every day. You don't have to even drink heavily. That's addiction, period.

1:08:43 Adam Okay.

1:08:44 Drew Do you fit that?

1:08:45 Adam No, no, no. Wait a minute, Drew. But in the real world, if you are coming home five nights a week, not having a drink and going to bed, you don't have a real world problem. Now, if you get blitzed out of your brains on Saturday and beat the crap out of your girlfriend, then okay.

1:09:01 Drew That's majorly a problem.

1:09:02 Adam Then you got a problem.

1:09:03 Drew Yeah, majorly a problem. But if you are disturbing a relationship, you're having trouble functioning at school, here's what you can tell.

1:09:09 Adam You may have hooked up with a lightweight.

1:09:11 Drew Here's what I can say with categorical certainty. That's just the beginning. Things will mount.

1:09:16 Adam Give me the worst thing you're doing with the booze.

1:09:19 Caller Oh, geez. Let's see. Worst thing I'm doing.

1:09:22 Drew Besides black and white.

1:09:23 Adam What would your girlfriend say right now? Why would she say you have a problem?

1:09:27 Caller Well, see, I think that's actually kind of her.

1:09:30 Adam What would she say?

1:09:31 Caller The fact that I sometimes often ditch her just to go out to the bar and hang out with my friends from, I don't know, maybe 7 o'clock at night till last call.

1:09:42 Drew Well, you may have an alcoholic biology and she may be, have alcoholic parents or have a history of being with alcoholics, so she's very sensitive to it and sees it coming on, but unless you're motivated to do something about it, you're not going to do anything about it, so.

1:09:56 Caller Well, see, that's the thing too, because I mean, I know, I honestly don't think I have a problem.

1:10:02 Adam All right, well, then it's done. I'm not here to talk you into having a problem, if you honestly think you don't have a problem and you know you're not drinking five out of the seven nights and maybe you don't or maybe it's going to take her leaving or maybe you've got to get in a car accident or something, whatever it is. Listen, I know every one of my friends had a problem with booze and none of them was going to even consider quitting at 21.

1:10:29 Drew Right. They have to be thrown in jail for heroin before they actually thought about it.

1:10:34 Adam How dare you? Crack.

1:10:35 Drew I'll crack. I beg your pardon.

1:10:36 Adam Please lump them in with the heroin addicts. The point is, I don't know what the average age is. My friends started drinking pretty early in life and like I said, at 21, they were just hitting their stride. They hadn't even begun to think about slowing down. Maybe later 20s, early 30s. So if you don't clean yourself out in a car crash or do time for a vehicular manslaughter or put a curtain rod through your best friend or girlfriend or something, then you consider yourself lucky, right?

1:11:08 Drew Enjoy.

1:11:09 Adam Enjoy. Loveline. Well, Adam, that'd be Drew over there. Well, let's get back to the phones here, Drew.

1:11:57 Drew Remember Erika, that was the domestic violence girl with the two kids, and boyfriend just called in. This is the girl that made you throw your mic. That one.

1:12:07 Adam Well, it's because the mic didn't work, so I threw it. The cops kept showing up.

1:12:11 Caller Yeah.

1:12:12 Adam Well, now, she said she was beating on the boyfriend, too, right?

1:12:16 Drew Oh, yeah. That she's been doing for no reason.

1:12:19 Adam Anthony?

1:12:20 Drew Yeah.

1:12:21 Adam You're the boyfriend of Erika?

1:12:23 Caller Yeah.

1:12:23 Adam All right. And you're here to dispute what she said?

1:12:27 Drew Well, yeah.

1:12:28 Caller I understand what you're saying, that I smoke weed every day, you know?

1:12:31 Adam Oh, this is you. This is Smoke the Weed guy?

1:12:34 Drew Yeah.

1:12:34 Caller Oh, Smoke the Weed guy.

1:12:35 Adam It's the other call.

1:12:36 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:12:38 Adam Oh, I see. This is the guy who's lost interest.

1:12:42 Drew You're not interested in sex with your girlfriend anymore?

1:12:44 Caller Well, that's not bad.

1:12:44 Caller I mean, I'm busy all day, because, like, I got to go to work and all that.

1:12:48 Caller I got to be there early in the morning.

1:12:49 Adam But you guys got together. You were 11?

1:12:52 Caller No, I got with her when I was, like, 12, when she was 13.

1:12:54 Drew Oh, how dare you. 11, Adam. That's meriting.

1:12:57 Adam I didn't know what I was talking about. I'm sorry. I'm going to give you a written apology. All right, well, she said you smoke weed every day.

1:13:02 Drew Or a lot of weed.

1:13:03 Caller Yeah, like, sometimes.

1:13:04 Caller Once in a while, but not like every day.

1:13:06 Adam Well, how often?

1:13:08 Caller Probably, like, four times a week.

1:13:09 Drew Okay, that's plenty. That's plenty, Anthony. That'll give you all kinds of weird depressions and problems with your libido, your sexual drive.

1:13:18 Caller Well, I mean, I haven't smoked weed for a long time.

1:13:21 Drew You have it or have?

1:13:22 Caller I have.

1:13:23 Drew Yeah, and after about 10 years, you'll start to get some severe biological effects from it, and that's what's starting to happen.

1:13:28 Caller That hasn't affected me in any other way that I know of, you know.

1:13:31 Drew That you know of. That's right, because it's a very slow, insidious onset, but your girlfriend is putting you on notice that she's noticing a change.

1:13:39 Caller Oh, I don't know.

1:13:40 Adam I mean.

1:13:41 Drew All right, Anthony, forget it. It's nothing.

1:13:42 Adam It's nothing. Listen, I got to talk to Anthony, man to man, not wuss to man like you. Oh, man, wuss to man. Okay, listen. Listen, brother. I don't mind the weed. You know I'm cool, right? Yeah. Smoke a little herb every now and again myself. But here's the deal. You're doing it too much. There's nothing wrong with getting high, but every day isn't Get High Day. It's got to be a special occasion.

1:14:07 Drew Here's the problem you're telling this guy.

1:14:09 Adam Like weekends and Wednesdays.

1:14:10 Drew People don't go from this to cutting back. They don't do it. It's like getting B-Royal to cut back or Bobo. You think Bobo is going to cut back on pot?

1:14:18 Adam How dare you attack my client?

1:14:20 Drew I love those guys.

1:14:21 Adam How dare you attack my client?

1:14:22 Drew No, I love those guys, but you don't hear me talking about cutting back.

1:14:26 Adam Well, they're stoned when you see them. They can't understand cutting back. I want to know, Anthony, if you can not smoke weed during the week.

1:14:35 I quit before and I could do it again.

1:14:37 Caller Okay, this is the problem. Shut up.

1:14:39 Adam Who is the addiction medicine specialist?

1:14:41 Caller Right here.

1:14:42 Adam Quiet down. I'm not asking you to quit. I'm asking you not to smoke during the week.

1:14:47 Caller Shut up. Shut up.

1:14:48 Drew No, no, I have to stop you because this is dangerous.

1:14:50 Adam Why is this dangerous?

1:14:51 Drew Because this doesn't work. It doesn't work.

1:14:55 Adam I'm asking him if he can do it.

1:14:57 Drew They can do it for a while and then it escalates back up again and they have to be absent for about six months completely for any of these biological problems to go away.

1:15:07 Adam You don't think.

1:15:09 Drew Adam, I've been here a zillion, zillion times.

1:15:12 Adam You know what though, you're so vehement about everything and you mean half of it. That's why I never know whether to believe you.

1:15:19 Drew This one is, what you're, I have to stop you because what you're suggesting is actually dangerous.

1:15:23 Adam No, it is not.

1:15:24 Drew Adam, you don't hear me say this very often.

1:15:27 Adam No, you don't.

1:15:28 Drew I'm deadly serious about this. You are, you are suggesting something that is dangerous.

1:15:33 Adam Why is it dangerous?

1:15:34 Drew Because most, all marijuana addicts believe they want, that their problem is they need to cut back. They will cut back for periods of time. None of the biological problems will reverse. They will revert back to their regular use.

1:15:45 Adam Fine, we'll be where we are again. What's dangerous about that?

1:15:49 Drew That this problem is going to progress and we are advocating something that allows it to progress.

1:15:55 Adam He can't smoke, first off, me saying not to smoke during the week is not advocating something that allows it to progress.

1:16:01 Drew Yes.

1:16:01 Adam Number two, he can't smoke any more weed than he's already smoking now anyway.

1:16:06 Drew That's not, the problem is if he just stays where he is, the point is you're suggesting something that is not helpful and potentially dangerous because you're dealing with somebody with a disorder.

1:16:18 Adam Not necessarily. I know guys who smoke weed a lot and they do cut back on it. For periods of time.

1:16:25 Caller And they are better.

1:16:26 Drew For periods of time. And it always goes back.

1:16:29 Adam No, not necessarily.

1:16:31 Drew Necessarily.

1:16:32 Caller Alright.

1:16:32 Adam So, Anthony, you prepared to quit entirely then?

1:16:35 Caller Yeah.

1:16:35 Caller I've been thinking about it lately a lot.

1:16:37 Adam So, you're going to quit altogether?

1:16:39 Caller Yeah. That's cool.

1:16:40 Drew Alright.

1:16:41 Adam Well, then quit altogether.

1:16:42 Drew Give that six months and see if you don't feel different. Be careful because there's a lot of depression. In the first few months, you cut it off.

1:16:48 Caller Why wouldn't I? I went straight without smoking weed one time.

1:16:51 Drew That's good. That's good. But realize that you keep going back. And the problem with addiction is you always go back. And when you go back, it progresses. And if you really care about your kid and you want your relationship to survive, you've got to really ultimately do something about this. And it's not going to stay stopped unless you do.

1:17:08 Adam All right. Come on. You got to take care of your kids now. You understand?

1:17:11 Caller Yeah, I understand what you guys are saying.

1:17:12 Adam All right.

1:17:13 Drew That's it.

1:17:15 Adam It's funny. He called to straighten us out on what his girlfriend said. His girlfriend was like, Yeah, he's... Your girlfriend never brought it up.

1:17:25 Drew I brought it up.

1:17:26 Adam We went away and you said, Wait, go back and ask her if this guy smokes weed. You go back to her. He goes, Does your boyfriend smoke weed? And she's like, Yeah. And you go, How often? And she goes, Every day. And he calls up and she's like, She's totally wrong. I smoke weed four times a week. And when a guy, by the way, is telling you he smokes weed four times a week.

1:17:48 Drew It's six times a week. Easy. Most of the time.

1:17:52 Adam Yeah. I mean, put it this way. She said every day and technically, every three weeks he missed a day. You know what I mean? He smoked like 19 or 20 out of a three week period.

1:18:05 Drew The reason I got to Adam about the other thing is to allow them to maintain that delusional notion.

1:18:11 Caller Yeah.

1:18:13 Drew It's a real problem in our culture right now. People believe that marijuana is not addictive, therefore I can start and stop as I please, and it allows really serious consequences to continue to mount.

1:18:23 Adam Well, it draws the whole thing out.

1:18:25 Drew They think you could be sacrificing those kids' parents by letting him believe that he could.

1:18:30 Adam I didn't think the guy was ready to quit at 20. That's all. I have my doubts about that.

1:18:37 Drew Well, that could be.

1:18:38 Adam Sandy?

1:18:39 Caller Yes?

1:18:40 Adam You're 22?

1:18:41 Caller Yeah. Hi.

1:18:42 Adam What's up?

1:18:42 Caller Hi, Adam.

1:18:43 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew. I screwed up really bad. I had sex. My girlfriend and I have been friends for like two years now, and she's married. And she said that her and her husband wanted to get together with another girl.

1:18:59 Caller Hold on.

1:19:00 Adam I got a huge fart.

1:19:01 Caller Hold on. I'm sorry.

1:19:06 Caller Oh, that was huge. Oh, the mic smells.

1:19:16 Adam That was like novelty laugh. You getting some of that? I'm sorry, baby.

1:19:23 Caller You have a problem?

1:19:23 Drew You saw yourself with that?

1:19:25 Caller You came damn close.

1:19:27 Caller Woo.

1:19:28 Adam Anderson loves that guy. That was a big one. What happened there, Sandy?

1:19:34 Caller Okay.

1:19:36 Adam Oh, you had a threesome?

1:19:37 Caller Yeah.

1:19:38 Drew Married girlfriend and...

1:19:39 Adam Mm-hmm. And your girlfriend's married?

1:19:41 Caller Yeah.

1:19:42 Adam And what did you do in this threesome?

1:19:46 Caller We... My fiancée had sex with me, and she and I kissed, and he went down on her, and I...

1:19:56 Drew Wait a minute. I thought it was the married couple on you.

1:19:59 Adam Sort of painted it that way, but that's not the way it was.

1:20:01 Caller No, no, no. That's next. That's what happened next. That's why I feel bad. That's why I called in.

1:20:05 Drew Wait, wait. So first you brought her, the married woman, in with you and your boyfriend?

1:20:09 Caller Right.

1:20:09 Drew And then she brought you, the married couple, and you, the engaged woman, in with them.

1:20:15 Caller Right.

1:20:15 Adam Yeah, well, turnabout's fair play.

1:20:17 Drew Great how once you violate one boundary, it's so easy just to kind of...

1:20:20 Caller Yeah, I did it.

1:20:21 Adam It's like a crime spree.

1:20:23 Drew It is. It is, isn't it?

1:20:25 Adam It turned over one liquor story, might as well turn over a hundred, who cares? So, he went down on her, huh? Right in front of you.

1:20:34 Caller Oh, yeah.

1:20:34 Adam Did you want to see that?

1:20:36 Caller I don't care.

1:20:38 Adam Wait a minute.

1:20:39 Caller Why don't you go down on me more?

1:20:41 Caller Oh, I don't care. That is the world's worst strategy.

1:20:45 Adam I don't go down on my girlfriend too often, but oh, yeah. Bring it on.

1:20:50 Drew We're friends, boy.

1:20:52 Caller There you go. Oh, my God.

1:20:52 Adam This guy's a retard.

1:20:54 Drew And you don't care? Of course you care.

1:20:57 Caller Well.

1:20:57 Drew Think how painful that reality is and how aggressive that statement was.

1:21:02 Adam Why?

1:21:03 Drew How angry the statement was.

1:21:04 Caller I was more upset that he kissed her.

1:21:07 Drew Oh, boy. That's a woman thing.

1:21:08 Adam Yeah, that is such a chick thing.

1:21:12 Caller Because he said he wanted to feel her tongue ring.

1:21:15 Adam Right.

1:21:16 Drew Yeah.

1:21:16 Adam Did she give him a little oral?

1:21:19 Caller No, he didn't get to have sex with her. He came too soon.

1:21:28 Caller I love that story.

1:21:32 Drew Tell it again, Sandy, so I can enjoy it.

1:21:33 Caller He wanted to get with two girls and she always wanted to get with a girl. So I figured I'd kind of just.

1:21:39 Drew Yeah, Sandy, you got a lot of problems, Sandy.

1:21:42 Adam That is so good. No, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm not nearly done with this. You guys all got together. You had a few drinks, right?

1:21:50 Caller She and I had a few slippery nipples, but no, we weren't drinking.

1:21:55 Adam Hey, Drew, what is that? I haven't bartended in a while. What's a slippery nipple?

1:21:58 Drew I don't know, but it certainly contains alcohol.

1:22:00 Adam It's like milk and vermouth.

1:22:03 Drew Or like whipped cream or something.

1:22:04 Adam What's a slippery nipple?

1:22:06 Caller It's butterscotch schnapps and Baileys and cream.

1:22:10 Drew Oh, a buttery nipple.

1:22:12 Adam A buttery nipple?

1:22:13 Caller That is disgusting.

1:22:14 Adam Baby, you are like 15 shades of white trash. Do you hear me? Oh my God. You're drinking Baileys and butterscotch schnapps?

1:22:27 Caller You take it as a shot. It separates. It's really nice.

1:22:30 Adam What the hell is it with the... Yeah, this is saccharin, sweet and low and VO.

1:22:37 Drew And maple syrup.

1:22:41 Adam With a honey chaser.

1:22:43 Caller Okay. I don't know.

1:22:45 Adam I'm getting punchy tonight. So you guys got naked. You just have a beer.

1:22:49 Drew But she hasn't gotten to the bad part of the story.

1:22:51 Adam You got naked. You guys are all naked. He goes down on her, right?

1:22:56 Caller Yeah.

1:22:57 Adam Yeah. What are you doing while he's going down on her?

1:23:00 Caller I'm kissing her.

1:23:02 Adam Kissing her.

1:23:02 Caller Rubbing on her.

1:23:03 Adam He's down there for a while, right?

1:23:05 Caller Not really.

1:23:06 Adam A little bit. But you're a little P.O.ed because you're not going down on you enough, right? First piece of business for her. And then what? How does he orgasm?

1:23:16 Caller I guess he said he was rubbing against the sheets or something.

1:23:20 Caller Oh, man.

1:23:22 Caller He said he got really excited when I was kissing her.

1:23:25 Adam And he was still going down on her?

1:23:29 Caller Yeah.

1:23:30 Caller I guess.

1:23:30 Adam Oh, man. That guy. This guy. This guy.

1:23:35 Drew Well, no, this wasn't the bad part of the story.

1:23:37 Adam We got to take a break.

1:23:37 Caller Hold on.

1:23:38 Caller And go back to her?

1:23:39 Caller Yeah.

1:23:39 Adam I haven't got enough of this. I'm just beginning with the butterscotch schnapps.

1:23:46 Caller I'm going to vomit.

1:23:48 Caller Kaluah? No, no.

1:23:49 Adam Bailey's?

1:23:51 Caller Oh.

1:23:52 Adam Drew, please tell me they ain't white trash.

1:23:54 Caller That's white trash.

1:23:56 Drew No, that's high brow.

1:23:58 Adam No, that's highly cultured. That's opaque trash.

1:24:01 Drew It's like couture. Yeah, it's translucent. Translucent.

1:24:06 Adam All right. We're going to take a little break. I know we're going on for a while now, but I'm not done with Sandy. I've got to find out what this guy gets himself into a threesome and ends up dry humping the box spring and a waste in his wine all over the side of the bed.

1:24:23 Drew Then it's done. He doesn't keep going.

1:24:25 Adam Now he's out. This is really, that is pathetic.

1:24:28 All right.

1:24:29 Adam We'll take a break. I'm obviously, I'm bitter, but we'll be back.

1:24:33 Drew Jealous.

1:25:14 Caller Hi, this is Jeremy McGrath, and you're listening to Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:25:19 Caller Yeah.

1:25:21 Adam There you go. Let's get back to Sandy. Sandy's situation is, she's engaged, and she hooked up with her friend who was married and the husband, and she also hooked up with her fiance and that friend.

1:25:39 Drew We haven't heard that part of the story yet. That's the bad part. That's the part she regrets. She didn't actually say she regretted the first chapter.

1:25:45 Adam Well, she's not happy about that because her husband went down on this.

1:25:49 Drew No, no.

1:25:49 Adam Her fiance went down.

1:25:50 Drew No, no. He kissed her. That's a bother.

1:25:52 Adam Well, that's what she didn't like, but that's a great, that's a part must be great about being a woman. But he went down on her. He doesn't go down on Sandy enough, and he had an orgasm while he's down there too, which doesn't work well in his defense.

1:26:05 Drew That's because she was kissing him.

1:26:06 Adam Then how long? Right.

1:26:07 Drew She was kissing the other girl.

1:26:08 Adam That's right. Sure was. And then how long after this, Sandy, did you hook up with the husband and the same girl?

1:26:18 Caller This, um, it was like 24 hours later.

1:26:23 Adam Oh boy. It's a hell of a weekend you put together.

1:26:26 Caller Thanks.

1:26:27 Adam And how long ago was this?

1:26:29 Caller This was last weekend.

1:26:31 Adam I see. And now what's the big regret?

1:26:36 Caller I, I just hate secret. I've been...

1:26:38 Adam Well, who's the secret you're keeping?

1:26:41 Caller I haven't told my fiancee.

1:26:43 Adam And what did you do with the husband? At sex?

1:26:47 Caller Yeah.

1:26:48 Adam In front of the wife?

1:26:50 Drew How did the wife take that?

1:26:52 Caller She was right there with us, so... I mean, obviously she's cool with it.

1:26:58 Drew They've done this before.

1:26:59 Adam Obviously she's cool. Do they have any kids?

1:27:02 Caller No, she said that they've never done this before. He was extremely uncomfortable.

1:27:06 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:27:07 Drew Do they have kids? Yeah. Oh, my God.

1:27:11 Adam They should really have those kids taken away and raised by...

1:27:16 Drew Raccoons.

1:27:17 Adam Eh, raccoons are a little...

1:27:19 Drew Possums?

1:27:20 Adam Possums.

1:27:21 Drew Oh, yeah. They're great parents.

1:27:22 Adam They're great parents. They're wonderful, wonderful people. No, they're idiots. Come on, Sandy. Now, are you going to tell your fiancé about this? Does he know?

1:27:35 Caller I don't know.

1:27:37 Drew What was your thinking on this? Is this sort of a last fling before you get married?

1:27:40 Caller No.

1:27:41 Adam What were you thinking?

1:27:42 Caller I felt like I owed it to her and her husband because she was with me and my fiancé. I really felt like... And two wrongs don't make a right and I'm just suffering with this now.

1:27:54 Adam Okay.

1:27:54 Drew You're 22, Sandy. You sound like you're 14.

1:27:58 Caller Me?

1:27:59 Drew In terms of your thinking, your compass, your judgment.

1:28:03 Caller Thanks.

1:28:04 Adam Do you not want to get married?

1:28:07 Caller I...

1:28:08 Caller Oh, no, no, no.

1:28:09 Adam Yeah, don't get married. Don't get married.

1:28:11 Drew That kind of hesitation.

1:28:12 Caller Well, I'm in college, so I kind of want to finish college.

1:28:15 Drew Good. All right, fine. Finish college.

1:28:16 Adam You got another 14 years at junior college or...

1:28:19 Caller No.

1:28:20 Adam What do you got there?

1:28:20 Caller I'm in Cal State out here.

1:28:22 Adam Really?

1:28:23 Caller Yeah.

1:28:23 Adam Junior? Cal State Junior College?

1:28:26 Caller No, no, no. No Junior College.

1:28:28 Adam Junior Cal State College? What is it? What college you got over there?

1:28:32 Caller Bakers Hill.

1:28:33 Adam Oh, yeah. That's junior. Okay, listen, Sandy, don't get married. Slow down. Don't tell your fiancee.

1:28:40 Caller Okay.

1:28:41 Adam You made a little mistake.

1:28:42 Drew You will.

1:28:43 Adam Do you hear me? You will regret the day you told him you went off with this couple.

1:28:50 Caller Okay.

1:28:51 Adam And you need to talk to this couple and you need to tell them they cannot say anything in front of this guy.

1:28:56 Drew And cut this crap out.

1:28:57 Adam And stop it.

1:28:58 Drew Redraw the boundaries in your relationship. Hopefully, you can.

1:29:02 Adam I think she says she tells them and they break up. And that's what she wants.

1:29:06 Drew Yeah.

1:29:06 Adam She don't. You show me 22 year old girls engage and go, do you want to get married and have a good long five count beat and then go, well, I'm in caught. Engage. She don't want to get married and she's working her way out of it right now.

1:29:21 Drew I think you're right.

1:29:22 Adam She's on her way. Alan?

1:29:24 Caller Yes.

1:29:24 Adam You're 26.

1:29:25 Caller Hi. Last night, me and my girlfriend, she was performing oral sex on me.

1:29:30 Adam Nice.

1:29:31 Caller I kind of thrusted. I have a horizontal barbell piercing in the head of my penis and it got stuck.

1:29:39 Adam Let me, what are the horizontal barbells in the head?

1:29:43 Drew Like just underneath the head kind of?

1:29:46 Caller Called the ampling piercing.

1:29:47 Drew The ampling. The ankle end was down towards the base.

1:29:50 Caller Well, this one's in the head. All right.

1:29:52 Drew Okay.

1:29:53 Adam What do they call it?

1:29:53 Drew Ampling.

1:29:54 Adam Anyway. Spell that word.

1:29:56 Drew I imagine A-M-P-L-A-N-G.

1:29:58 Adam Ampling.

1:29:59 Drew Right? Is that right?

1:30:00 Adam Yeah.

1:30:01 Caller Ampling. Ampling.

1:30:02 Adam Okay. It goes straight through your penis?

1:30:04 Drew Yes. It's just a barbell.

1:30:05 Caller It's horizontal, piercing through the head.

1:30:07 Adam Does it go through the...

1:30:09 Caller Through the urethra?

1:30:11 Drew Oh, it does?

1:30:12 Caller Yes.

1:30:12 Adam I mean, it goes straight through it, through the meat of the penis.

1:30:17 Caller Yes.

1:30:17 Drew Right.

1:30:17 Caller Right in the head. Oh, my God.

1:30:19 Adam Right below the head?

1:30:20 Caller No. It's the head itself.

1:30:22 Drew Right through the middle? More towards the tip. The amplings I've seen have all been sort of at the frenulum kind of where the test is.

1:30:30 Adam How wide is your penis across where that thing goes across?

1:30:34 Caller It's an inch.

1:30:35 Adam About an inch.

1:30:36 Caller Barbell and then...

1:30:37 Adam I see. What happens when you get an erection and lose your erection? Does it just sort of shrink around it and rise around it?

1:30:46 Caller No, it just... Well, you know, the head shrinks, but it...

1:30:50 Drew Okay. Does it go through the urethra so when you pee it sprays all over the place?

1:30:54 Caller Sometimes. Yeah.

1:30:56 Adam Hey, Alan. Yeah. What happened to you? What's wrong with you?

1:31:00 Caller It was a dare.

1:31:01 Adam No way. Yeah. Something's wrong with you, right? You got any problems?

1:31:05 Caller No.

1:31:06 Caller Really?

1:31:07 Adam You really gotta have some problems. You really do, don't you? I mean, you know, you be honest with us.

1:31:14 Caller No, it was a dare.

1:31:16 Drew Why didn't you take it out after the dare was over?

1:31:19 Caller Well, because I went through all the torture of getting it done.

1:31:23 Adam There's no sane person listening right now who believes that dare story.

1:31:28 Drew And so what happened? It got caught in her throat?

1:31:30 Caller It got caught and, you know, when it came out, it kind of ripped her up and it hurt me too, also, but what sort of damage could that do to her?

1:31:46 Adam Oh, just to her palate? I mean, that roof of her mouth?

1:31:49 Caller The back of her throat.

1:31:51 Drew Is she able to swallow now?

1:31:53 Caller Yeah, she can swallow.

1:31:54 Drew Did she have any swelling back there?

1:31:57 Caller It is a little swollen and there was blood.

1:32:00 Drew Well, I'm sure you should see a doctor to see if she perhaps need to be on some antibiotics.

1:32:03 Adam Yeah, listen, tell the doctor she got shot in the BB gun when she was yawning. Her screwball boyfriend tried to kill her with his penis. Hey, Alan?

1:32:15 Caller Yeah?

1:32:16 Adam No more bets, all right, buddy?

1:32:18 Caller All right.

1:32:19 Adam And listen, what do you do? Did your parents beat on you as a kid? No. Something happened to you? You're listening to too much heavy metal? What happened? He's bisexual. What do you do for a living now?

1:32:30 Caller I'm a student and I also work for an engineering firm.

1:32:33 Adam All right. There's something up with you. What kind of music you listen to?

1:32:38 Caller Alternative.

1:32:39 Adam All right. What's your favorite band?

1:32:42 Caller Pearl Jam.

1:32:44 Adam I like Pearl Jam. All right.

1:32:46 Drew Maybe you're right.

1:32:46 Adam I'm going to get my penis done. That's no bet. I mean, I bet it was a bet, but you got to be nuts to take that bet.

1:32:54 Drew And to keep the thing in.

1:32:57 Adam I'm understanding you putting a spear through the side of the head of your penis and going straight through till you go through the urethra and then come out the other side. By the way, is this stuff possible? I mean, doesn't that just bleed profusely until you die? We're now at the point where we're putting stuff across the urethra and then you take a leak and it comes out like wiper spray. That's not a bet. I mean, it's a bet, but you got to want to do it.

1:33:28 Drew And how do you have sex with that sitting out there? Why doesn't it tear the vagina up every time you have sex?

1:33:33 Caller Let's go to Brad Dogg.

1:33:35 Adam Let's put it this way. There's not enough. You could take one million attorneys and they could all yell at me simultaneously that Alan was sane and I would not, I would still not believe it. One million attorneys with a million bullhorns could all yell that he was sane simultaneously and I would not go for it because that is an insane act. Okay, we'll be back. You and I are going to start our own colony in French Guiana, and we need blonde women. No questions asked. We're just going to start a super colony of semi-sane masturbators. We'll be taking applications on Sunday. I want to thank Ann for doing a great job all week, and I want to thank Sarah for doing a great job.

1:35:02 Drew Anderson?

1:35:03 Adam One twentieth of the week, or twenty percent of the week.

1:35:07 Drew Anderson for having a presence in the show again.

1:35:09 Adam Anderson is back and he's in full effect. He did a great job picking the mic up I threw on the ground earlier. Nobody could do that better than Anderson. And of course I want to thank Lauren for doing a great job. Yeah, on the phone. So until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo. Hi, I'm Adam Corolla. You know, I kid a lot on the radio and on television, but cornholings, no laughing matter.

1:35:35 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors or this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Thursday, March 29, 2001