Episode 1000754887027

3:55 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, coast to coast.

4:07 Adam Yep, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1, fax number 310-854-4455. And he's a doctor. And he's a doctor. Dr. Drew Loveline and Addiction Medicine Specialist. Tonight, we'd like to welcome back to the show, Tom Arnold.

4:23 Tom Arnold Hey.

4:23 Adam Good to see you, Tom.

4:24 Tom Arnold Good to see you, guys.

4:25 Adam You know what I like about you, Tom? Always evolving. A real work in progress. You know, every time you see Tom, he's either kicked something or lost something.

4:34 Yeah.

4:35 Drew Gained something.

4:36 Adam Gained something.

4:36 Tom Arnold Yeah, exactly.

4:37 Adam Got out of a relationship, put down a crack pipe, dropped 40 pounds, he's on to something.

4:42 Yeah.

4:42 Adam And it's nice.

4:44 Tom Arnold It is nice.

4:44 Adam You never know who's going to show up.

4:46 Tom Arnold Exactly what I'm bringing. Yeah, it's all good.

4:49 Adam Well, you look good.

4:51 Tom Arnold Thank you.

4:52 Adam You look like you're in great shape.

4:53 Tom Arnold Oh, I'm in fair shape. Yeah, I'm in good shape for me. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of exercise, working, doing an hour and a half of cardio every day. Every day. Yeah, dating. I'm dating. You got to be in shape for that. You know, you got to be in shape to get the date. Then you get her locked in. Then you can gain it back.

5:11 Adam Yeah. Yeah. It's funny how you care about looking good for a short period of time in a relationship. And then after that, it's like you're cramping with the door open. And so, honey, I got a zit on my back. Get that paper clip and see if you can get it.

5:24 Tom Arnold They like doing that, though. Well, half women love that, other half hate it. The ones that like it, love it.

5:30 Adam Yeah. They're like those monkeys that groom the other monkeys.

5:33 Tom Arnold They're collectors, too. They'll collect the remnants.

5:36 Adam Oh, no.

5:37 Tom Arnold Oh, I've seen it. I've seen it collected and eaten. Oh, I'm going to tell you, I'm not going to say who. I'm not going to say who, but I've seen it happen.

5:45 Oh, my God.

5:47 Tom Arnold Nobody recent. Let me just put it that way.

5:49 Adam Yeah. Women love futzing with a guy. It's funny, a man wants to touch a woman sexually, but other than that, he don't want a lot of contact with her.

5:59 Tom Arnold I'm a hugger. I like to touch. Oh, I do.

6:00 Adam All right. It's still almost a precursor to sex. But what I'm saying is, you're not picking out any black heads or wiping out any asses.

6:10 Tom Arnold No, no, no, they don't usually. Do they need that?

6:14 Adam There's apparently a fair amount of maintenance that goes on with these ladies.

6:17 Tom Arnold Is that right?

6:17 Drew Men don't really want to be reminded of the fact that it's a biological entity. Right. It's a pillow or it's an angel.

6:24 Tom Arnold Right, right.

6:25 Adam Right. I like to look at women as very elaborate, sophisticated, inflatable dolls. They really got it right this time. But you certainly don't want to walk by the bathroom and see some tampon or something rolling around or anything like that.

6:39 Tom Arnold Right. But you know, you're the first guy to offer to whip it out of there if you want to get too busy.

6:45 Adam Oh, Tom.

6:47 Tom Arnold Hey, don't worry. I don't mind that, honey.

6:49 Adam No, I know.

6:50 Tom Arnold I'll get a towel. Anyway.

6:54 Drew Tom's a man.

6:55 Tom Arnold I am a man, for God sakes.

6:57 Drew I'm not a pussy like you, Adam.

6:58 Tom Arnold Exactly.

6:59 Adam What about when the maid comes around or something?

7:02 Tom Arnold How about the dog? That's worse. Dog running through the house. What's she got in her mouth? For God sakes. Tom head company.

7:11 Adam Tom is here to promote his Disney special. Tom is here to promote a movie called Animal Factory. It's a Steve Buscemi movie who is quietly slid from in front of the camera to behind it and then in front of it again. But this guy's penned some movies, directed some movies?

7:28 Tom Arnold He directed. This is the second movie. Tree's Lounge was his first. I think he's a very talented director. He did a good job with this. It's a hard story. It's about prison and it's Eddie Furlong and Willem Defoe. Steve is in it, a really good performance from Mickey Rourke. There's a lot of guys that are former convicts that are in it. Eddie Bucker wrote it based on his experiences. Now Danny Trejo, very good.

7:55 Drew For you, what makes a good director?

7:57 Tom Arnold Someone that likes to work fast and will communicate occasionally and just tells you what he wants.

8:03 Drew Someone who has an idea of what they want and knows how to get it out of you.

8:08 Tom Arnold Exactly. Someone that doesn't say, that was perfect, let's do it again. I hate it when that happens. But I play a prison rapist who tries to, you know, prison rape is different than normal rape. I mean, prison rape is about power, you know. So it's really like, and I try to put the moves on Eddie Furlong because he's a young, small guy.

8:28 Adam And is Willem Dafoe, I've never met the man, he always seems, he plays sort of psychopaths. And I have this theory about guys who play nuts, which is sort of they are nuts. Is Willem Dafoe a little nutty?

8:40 Tom Arnold Actually he's a really nice, quiet guy and all the ladies like him. I mean that was the impression I got from being around the set, although there weren't many ladies there, but there was mostly convicts. But he's very nice. And actually a producer, Arnold Coplison, told me, hey, if you see Willem, ask him, he did a movie with him and he said that he has the biggest penis in Hollywood. So I thought, well, I don't know if I'm going to ask him that, but then I thought, well, okay, I'll ask him. And he just got a big smile on his face.

9:04 Adam Oh man, what great news to have people have that circulating.

9:11 Tom Arnold But he's a great actor, number one.

9:12 Adam Oh, he is. And Mickey Rourke, he's got to be nuts.

9:16 Tom Arnold I didn't meet him, but he's good at it. Mickey Rourke is actually a guy that, when he started, I think everybody agreed he was a great actor. And he kind of, I think, probably took a little detour in his personal life.

9:31 Adam Yeah, well, you're talking about, you know, he started with Diner and King of New York.

9:38 Tom Arnold What was that, The Prince of Brooklyn? No, you know, The Summer Wind Came Blowing? Remember that was in it with Eric Roberts?

9:47 It Took My Thumb, Charlie!

9:49 Adam Remember that movie? Yeah, it was The King of Queens.

9:53 Tom Arnold Whatever it was, it was good.

9:54 Adam The Prince of New York, for Christ's sake. What was that movie? Anderson, you know this movie. This is a great movie. Early 80s.

10:02 Tom Arnold The Thumb, Eric Roberts lost his thumb. He was very good in it.

10:07 Drew Anyway, anyway.

10:08 Adam Okay, anyway, here's the point. The point is, Ricky Roark started off as a legitimate actor who was doing some great projects. And then he sort of segwayed into Jack Daniels and the Marlboro Man or something like that. And he started doing these sort of bizarre, almost sort of shoot-em-up spoof weirdo movies. Then he really like spun out. But I guess he's starting to get back on track now.

10:29 Tom Arnold Right, I heard he's good in Get Carter.

10:31 Adam Oh, I haven't seen that yet. So, Tom, what else do you got beside this movie?

10:35 Tom Arnold Well, I'm just in the middle of a movie called The Exit Wounds, which is a Warner Brothers movie, action movie that Andre Bartaliak is directing. It's a guy from Poland who directed Romeo Must Die, Steven Seagal, DMX.

10:50 Adam Aren't you, are you going to be hosting a game show or something like that too? I can't think of a name.

10:54 Tom Arnold I'm hosting a late night show of some sort. We're in the development stage.

10:58 Adam Oh, it's not over it too.

10:59 Tom Arnold We're shooting some different things. Columbia TriStar Sony. Is that bad? They seem nice.

11:05 Adam But Tom, let me ask you. You're a guy who got a lot of energy.

11:08 Tom Arnold Right.

11:09 Adam No doubt about that.

11:10 Tom Arnold Right.

11:10 Adam But you can find good work doing just film.

11:14 Tom Arnold Right.

11:15 Adam Can't you?

11:16 Tom Arnold Some, some, yeah.

11:17 Adam You seem to be pretty consistent, pretty busy. What about just sticking to film?

11:22 Tom Arnold Well, you know, I thought about that and then I thought, you know, I had done three sitcoms that had been canceled, as you guys might know, and I just wanted to try something different.

11:31 Adam You did the Tom Show, Tommy and then Thomas.

11:33 Tom Arnold Exactly. Jackie Thomas, the Tom Show and Tom.

11:36 Oh, that's right.

11:39 Adam I was close. All right. But here's my point, is why make it four? Why not just-

11:43 Tom Arnold Exactly.

11:44 Drew You got-

11:45 Tom Arnold I want to try it. I want to try something different.

11:47 Adam But you got money.

11:48 Tom Arnold I'm not going to do a straight game show or anything like that.

11:51 Adam You're good for money.

11:52 Tom Arnold I'm okay for money. Yeah, I'm okay.

11:53 Adam And you're working. You're doing movies.

11:55 Tom Arnold I'm doing- I'm probably not working as much as I'd like to.

11:58 Adam But here's the question. Will you ever work as much as you'd like to?

12:01 Tom Arnold Well, there was a time when I worked too much, and that's probably why it's been harder.

12:05 Adam Here's the question. Could you do two movies a year, have some free time, and sort of relax? I mean, could you do that?

12:14 Tom Arnold If I could guarantee that I would have two good movies a year, supporting roles in good movies, and then I would probably maybe do a little stand-up. I mean, you're a guy that's had, well, you got the one show, and you had that other show, and you got this show, and you got the commercials. Yeah. So what's the deal?

12:29 Adam What am I talking about?

12:31 Tom Arnold You understand. You're right.

12:32 Adam But I always think to myself, if I could just slide into doing a couple movies a year, I would gladly just stay home.

12:38 Tom Arnold You think that.

12:39 Adam OK.

12:39 Tom Arnold Well, maybe you're right.

12:40 Drew No, no. He would stay home.

12:41 Adam Oh, would he?

12:42 Drew He is a pan. He asked me to work.

12:43 Tom Arnold Yeah.

12:44 Adam Oh, OK. Thank you for defending me, by the way.

12:47 Tom Arnold Work is hard, though. I like to get the offer, but I don't like to do it. You know, like, I was glad when you guys called. You know, that sounds great. And then it got closer and closer. And I was like, Oh, my God. Even tonight, I was watching the game and I was going, OK.

13:01 Adam You gotta tie my ass off the sofa.

13:03 Tom Arnold All right.

13:04 Adam I know. Thank you, by the way.

13:06 Tom Arnold Thank you.

13:06 Adam Jessica.

13:07 Yeah.

13:08 Adam You're 18. What's up?

13:11 Caller I have two problems. It's like one of them is I know I know when I get off her and things, but I don't hardly ever.

13:21 Adam What? What? What did you say?

13:22 Drew She knows when she gets off, but she doesn't hardly ever.

13:25 Adam I see.

13:26 Drew Rare orgasm, right?

13:27 Caller It's like I only have like a couple.

13:31 Drew And you're talking about during intercourse.

13:33 Caller Yeah. Which is I don't like somebody like going down on me or anything.

13:38 Adam Yeah. Well, we'd make a good couple. Why? Why don't you like that?

13:45 Caller I don't know. I talked to my friends about it and they're like, you are crazy. And I don't like it.

13:51 Adam Is it too intense, too intimate?

13:54 Caller No. I just, it tickles.

13:58 Drew Yeah, too intense. Yeah.

13:59 Adam Tickles is sort of too intense, right?

14:01 Caller Yeah, I guess.

14:03 Adam All right. What if the guy wasn't wearing as much jewelry? I mean, what if he just slowed down a little? Took it easy on you.

14:10 Caller I can't handle it.

14:11 Adam All right. But you can have an orgasm on rare occasion when you're having intercourse.

14:16 Caller Yeah, but it's like, not that often.

14:18 Tom Arnold Do you like to, are you on the bottom usually?

14:22 Caller Anyway.

14:23 Adam Anyway.

14:24 Tom Arnold Some people like to be on top and it touches them better.

14:27 Adam Yeah. Women can sort of work that area a little better when they're on top. Actually, but at 18, isn't it?

14:38 Drew Still working it out.

14:39 Adam Still developing.

14:40 Drew Yeah. Absolutely.

14:40 Adam Yeah. So don't put so much pressure on yourself, Jessica.

14:43 Drew Find a relationship somebody really care about and you won't be so focused on that, you know, the climax.

14:48 Adam Do you have a boyfriend?

14:49 Caller Well, kind of. He's like coming back from California. He don't know if he wants to move back or just stay.

14:55 Adam Okay. Here's my point. I bet it'll be easier for a guy to go down on you if you're having a good relationship with the guy.

15:02 Drew Or you'll just, again, you won't be, you'll relax. You'll be more involved in the intimacy and some of this.

15:07 Caller Well, I don't, I like, don't have sex that often.

15:10 Tom Arnold Maybe you should masturbate because that's a way, honestly, that's a good way to get to know yourself, know what you like, you're secure, you know you can make it happen yourself, so then you teach the guy.

15:19 Drew Tom, let me see if you agree with me on this. There's an interesting thing about women is that they, the only thing we know how to communicate with them about masturbation is using sort of terms and mechanical descriptions that are suitable to men. And women just, it doesn't make sense to them. Could you masturbate, Jessica?

15:35 Caller Yeah, but I really seriously don't like it.

15:37 Drew It doesn't do anything for them. Really? Yeah, they just don't do anything for them. It just does, they have to connect with an emotional experience that is sort of an intimate place in order for all that sexual material to sort of function. And for men, it's like, hey, you put it here, you do this, and it's mechanical, period. For women, there's a central nervous system component that's profoundly important.

15:55 Adam You know, Tom, what I call that intimate place where I go to masturbate for myself, I call it earth. I don't give a rat's ass where I'm out in the yard or at my parents' house, it doesn't matter.

16:06 Tom Arnold But that's because you're older. When you get older, because when I was Jessica's age, I was too embarrassed to admit that I did that. I would say, no, my friends, we make fun of each other. Now that I'm 41, I've got a whole system. You know, it's the same video, the towel, half wet, half dry, astroglide.

16:22 Adam Half wet, half dry.

16:23 Tom Arnold You got to have some warm water on the one side and dry on the other for the cleanup afterwards. And then, you know, you got, I'll tell you what, you get lube on the remote control, you're in trouble.

16:33 Adam Yeah.

16:33 Tom Arnold But so you got to use just the one hand. But it's a whole system and it really works for me.

16:37 Drew Same tape.

16:38 Tom Arnold Exactly. Lesbian tape. No dicks allowed for 49.

16:42 Adam Wet and dry. I'll tell you, I had a great humiliating experience or, you know, my life. I got one off the other day yesterday before the maid showed up and somehow a little something got on the pillow. Oh, basically, I was like, I was like, Oh, Christ, look at the pillow. It's all screwed up. So I go into the bathroom, I get a gym sock, I wet it down a sink and I start wiping the pillow down. Now the pillow's got two big wet spots.

17:07 Tom Arnold Oh, this is more like a cat in the hat.

17:10 Adam Now the maid is like the maid's like heading upstairs. And I'm in the back and I'm like, Christ, got to hide the pillow. You know, I'm paying her to come over to the house and work. So I take the pillow and I'm thinking, I'd like the pillow to dry off, but I'm certainly not going to leave the pillow out, the two big wet spots in it. So I take the pillow and I put it in the attic and shut the door and lock it. Now, she's like, the bed is missing a pillow, but she ain't going to have any concrete evidence. And I thought to myself, Jesus Christ, I'm 36 years old and I'm hiding the pillow.

17:38 Tom Arnold You just got to let it happen. You know what? It's your house. Yeah, she'll get used to it. You know, they know what's going on there.

17:46 Drew That's why we love Tom, isn't it?

17:47 Adam Jenny?

17:48 Tom Arnold Yeah.

17:48 Adam Oh, jeez, I hope you tip that maid come Christmas. I hope you tip her.

17:52 Tom Arnold I tip mine. She's great.

17:54 Adam She's got the wet side and the dry side of it. Well, now the dry side is a little wet too. Jenny, wet and dry though. That's my new thing.

18:01 Tom Arnold That's a good warm on the wet and then the dry side.

18:04 Drew Astraglide and the warm.

18:05 Tom Arnold Astraglide is the finest personal lubricant there is.

18:07 Adam Beautiful. Beautiful.

18:08 Drew Jenny?

18:11 Caller What's up? Okay. My boyfriend lives out of the country. We are both working on temporary assignments away from each other. And I am going to see him. I haven't seen him for a month and a half when I will see him next month. And after I booked the plane ticket, I realized that I happened to be showing up exactly the day that my period would start.

18:33 Drew Well, we've heard already, Tom thinks that's great.

18:35 Tom Arnold That's fine.

18:35 Adam You know what, that's fine.

18:36 Tom Arnold Just put a towel down.

18:38 Caller He is my age and he's a freak. Like, normally I don't date younger guys, but older guys, like, any way they're getting it, they're happy. But younger guys have problems with this kind of stuff.

18:46 Adam Sure.

18:47 Drew Older guys are much more desperate.

18:48 Adam Yeah, guys, they see the Grim Reaper sickle hanging over the bed. Listen, if I got to pull a cork, fine. I got to get going. Times are wasted. They see the hourglass spilling out like in The Wizard of Oz or The Witch is up on the hill. All right, so he ain't going to do that.

19:05 Caller No, he only did it once and it freaked him out too much.

19:07 Adam Okay, so what about Jaren that period, Drew?

19:11 Drew Are you on a pill?

19:13 Caller I am and that's what I'm wondering. We use a condom and also I'm infertile. I had a massive pelvic infection that lasted six months. And Planned Parenthood didn't catch it like a whole bunch of times when I went in. So finally went and saw my doctor, my mom's OB. And I was in the hospital and they did surgery and like one of my tubes isn't working and they're not really sure if I'm dropping eggs or not and all kinds of stuff.

19:31 Drew Yeah, you can still get pregnant though, okay?

19:33 Caller Yeah, well we use condoms of course. He's a guy, I don't trust him.

19:37 Drew And you're going in two weeks?

19:39 Caller No, I will be there on the 9th of November.

19:43 Drew So three weeks.

19:44 Caller Yeah.

19:44 Drew Three weeks and so you're just in your first week of pill now?

19:47 Yeah.

19:48 Drew Well, you could stop. You could stop for a week and then restart a packet. That's one way of doing it.

19:54 Adam What if she didn't eat for three weeks?

19:55 Drew Wouldn't work.

19:56 Adam You sure? It's worth a try.

19:58 Tom Arnold Why is he out of the country? Why? Yeah.

20:01 Caller Because we work.

20:03 Tom Arnold What does he do?

20:04 Drew Adam, you got that?

20:05 Adam Write that down.

20:06 Tom Arnold Work.

20:06 Caller We work for a telecom company.

20:10 Adam You guys have a great relationship. You don't trust the guy.

20:14 Tom Arnold Out of the country. I'm kind of upset my girlfriend has a job downtown.

20:19 Caller Well, no, we work. Actually, we met when we were on assignment. I was on a six-month assignment.

20:24 Drew I see. Or you can skip your sugar pills.

20:27 Caller If I just completely skip it, it'll work.

20:29 Drew Yeah, well, the lining of the uterus can become unstable and you can have some breakthrough bleeding anyway. But you won't have your full period usually. I think if I were to do it, it's going to be all screwed up no matter what. Yeah, just skip your sugar pills.

20:44 Adam Drew, how about doing what I do? You dump a little kitty litter down there, you know, like when transmission leaks in the driveway, it mops up whatever you got down there.

20:52 Drew I can do that too, of course.

20:53 Tom Arnold This is a guy who hasn't seen her in a month and a half, and she's going to all this trouble for him, worrying about him.

20:58 Drew It's nice, huh?

20:59 Tom Arnold It's nice, but it's kind of absurd.

21:02 Adam He's a little freaky about it.

21:03 Drew There's actually a school of thought out there that women shouldn't be, that you can actually make them not bleed by giving them continuous cycling, non-cycling pills. I'm not of that school of thought.

21:12 Adam What's that mean, non-cycling pills?

21:13 Drew In other words, don't cycle them, don't cycle them so they don't bleed.

21:16 Adam Don't have the sugar pills in there?

21:17 Drew Just stay on steady state hormone and don't bleed at all.

21:20 Adam What's wrong with that?

21:21 Drew I believe it's overstimulated in the line of the uterus. You can cause overgrowth and may put your risk for cancer. That bothers me a little bit.

21:28 Adam Tom, does that bother you?

21:30 Tom Arnold It bothers me. I think the guy should just go for it. It's sort of a great primal feeling to do that occasionally. All of a sudden you're done and you've got war pain all over your face.

21:44 Drew Adam, you got that?

21:45 Adam Yeah.

21:46 Drew Adam's a little bit of a pussy about that.

21:47 Adam It's like you're in a pie eating contest.

21:50 Exactly.

21:54 Tom Arnold She's caught you. She's nice.

21:55 Adam Yeah, I like that.

21:56 Carol?

21:57 Caller Hi.

21:58 Adam You're 22.

21:59 Caller Yeah.

22:00 Adam What's up?

22:01 Caller I think you guys are funny first of all and Tom Arnold, you're hilarious too. Thank you. My question is, last night I was up doing my homework and listening to the show and all of a sudden I felt like my heart get really tense and this has happened before and I felt like I just couldn't move. If I did, then I'd have a heart attack right on the spot.

22:19 Drew So you're having a panic attack.

22:21 Caller Is that it? I don't know why. I mean, it's happened before and-

22:26 Drew Well, panic attacks usually start coming out. You're at a panic attack time?

22:29 Tom Arnold Absolutely.

22:29 Drew You just start coming out.

22:31 Adam Five a week, are you kidding me?

22:32 Drew You just start coming out between about 18 and 22. It's certain psychological processes and genetic makeup of individuals set people up for that. But what a lot of people don't realize, a lot of the drugs that people abuse set this up to ecstasy. Absolutely will do that. Pot can do it, speed can do it, cocaine can do it.

22:46 Adam I was going to say, Tom had done a pound or a kilo of coke before his panic attack. So that doesn't really count, does it?

22:52 Tom Arnold Chocolate, I think, will do it to you, honestly.

22:54 Adam But Tom, you weren't up late studying when you had a panic attack.

22:57 Tom Arnold I mean, I've had them recently where I start feeling my heart and everything, and I think, okay, first of all, I put my shorts on because when they find my body, because always the celebrities, they take pictures. Second, I think, should I call the guard? Should I call? Do I want to go to that point? Am I going to be that crazy? Then you start feeling like your arm is tingling. All the sides, you have to put the astroglide away. You don't want to even do a little cleanup because you don't want to.

23:21 Drew The bowling pin goes.

23:23 Tom Arnold But it is scary because your mind, the thing about, to me, the panic attacks is what your mind, how far your mind can take it.

23:30 Drew Yeah, and it goes to always, I'm going to die or I'm going to go crazy. Those are the two sort of feelings that people get. Or I'm having a heart attack, I'm having a stroke.

23:39 Adam Drew, is this more common in someone who's 21 than someone who's 51?

23:43 Drew If it's going to come on, unless it's induced by drugs, it's usually starting around 18 to 22.

23:48 Adam And can stay with you?

23:49 Drew And will stay, it will stay with you.

23:51 Adam But it's controllable, it's controllable.

23:53 Caller Great. I also heard somewhere that women can't have heart attacks while they're still menstruating.

23:58 Drew It's very rare, unless you're a cigarette smoker or have some congenital heart problem.

24:03 Caller Okay. So marijuana does play a factor in it then?

24:06 Drew Yeah, it can trigger panic for sure.

24:07 Caller Okay. I feel a lot better. I thought maybe it's because of your show, you guys are cracking me up so hard.

24:12 Adam Oh, thanks.

24:13 Drew You asked me for a laugh.

24:15 Adam So you do smoke pot?

24:17 Caller Yeah. I used to smoke daily, but now it's just like once a week. And I thought maybe.

24:21 Drew When did you drop down?

24:23 Caller I started graduate school and I just I can't concentrate anymore. And so I thought I'd cut down.

24:30 Drew Hey, Drew, you got you got to stop. Seriously, there's just overwhelming evidence that it has effects on your ability. It doesn't hurt cognition long term, but it can affect your ability to learn state dependent learning.

24:41 Adam Drew, what is a quick thing someone can do if they feel like they're starting to have a panic attack and they're just sitting at home? And what if they drank a glass of red wine? Or what if they took a warm bath?

24:52 Tom Arnold I always do my will.

24:53 Adam Or what if they did their will? Like, Tom, is there a quick sort of fix? Lie down?

24:59 Drew There are cognitive behavioral, all kinds of behavior modification strategies, because panic is a behavior.

25:05 Tom Arnold Right.

25:05 Drew It's a learned behavior. Once you learn it, man, you've got it. It stays with you. It's kind of like fear of flying, those sorts of behaviors. But, you know, it's about affect management. It's about finding ways to calm down, to feel secure, to reassure yourself, to talk to yourself, to bring another person around who can make you feel safer. These sorts of things. Breathing deeply. If you can exercise, if you do yoga, those sorts of things are all very helpful.

25:28 Tom Arnold I think it's because I'm lonely.

25:29 Adam But what if you're spinning out?

25:31 Tom Arnold Because I've never had it with somebody there.

25:33 Adam Well, yeah.

25:34 Drew So for you, it'd be bringing somebody around.

25:35 Tom Arnold I've been trying to do that.

25:36 Adam But if you're spinning out in that one moment, what would you do?

25:43 Tom Arnold Personally?

25:44 Drew I've had panic attacks.

25:44 Adam Yeah, I know. But you were standing backstage or-

25:47 Drew No, no, no.

25:48 Adam You've had panic attacks alone?

25:51 Drew Oh, yes.

25:51 Adam Really? I look at you as weak now. But go ahead. So you're alone, you have panic attacks.

25:56 Drew What do you do? I would get somebody near me. I would just have somebody I trust to go rely on. Pick up the phone? I personally need somebody.

26:04 Adam But I'm talking about in that 15 minutes when it's really coming on. Do you know what I'm saying?

26:09 Drew I'm already over at 15 minutes.

26:10 Adam Well, that's what I'm saying. I mean, how soon can you get? My friends would be laughing on the other end of the phone and telling me to blow myself. I told them to come over. I'm having a panic attack. That might be all you need. Bring a six or two, by the way. I mean, if you are coming up. But seriously, you got 15 minutes, you're having a panic attack. What do you do? Lie down, take a hot bath.

26:30 Tom Arnold Hot bath is not a bad idea.

26:32 Drew Watch a little TV, something to get your mind off.

26:33 Adam What about my booze remedy to everything? How come you don't go along with that?

26:37 Drew Because it turns out that those sorts of things can ultimately make things a lot worse. If you're not even an addict, just the biology of those things work against where you're trying to go.

26:46 All right.

26:46 Adam Well, we'll go to a commercial. When we come back, we'll speak to Ashley 17 at Hertz. When she has sex with a boyfriend, we'll get to the bottom of that. Tom Arnold is our guest tonight, and more with him and you after this.

27:00 Hello.

27:02 Adam This is Loveline.

27:03 1-800-LOVE-191.

27:04 Loveline will be right back.

27:32 Adam Oh, yeah. Tales from the road. Tom Arnold is our guest tonight. Animal Factory is the name of the new film and limited release coming out this Friday. Steve Buscemi is in front of the camera a little bit, behind the camera full time, Eddie Furlong, Willem Dafoe, Mickey Roark, and a lot of white guys for a prison movie.

27:52 Tom Arnold Well, Danny Trail is in it.

27:53 Adam Oh, Danny is black.

27:54 Tom Arnold Well, he's Hispanic.

27:55 Adam Oh, he's Hispanic.

27:56 Tom Arnold There's a whole bunch of black guys, but those guys are the real prisoners. We actually used real convicts.

28:01 Adam Oh, really?

28:02 Tom Arnold Yeah. They were funny because they were extras. They had all that. At Holmesburg. Yeah, they got paid. Holmesburg Federal Penitentiary outside of Philadelphia. It's a nasty, nasty place.

28:14 Adam That's not a nice prison?

28:15 Tom Arnold No, it's not. It's when the prisoners were smaller. It's an old one. The rooms are small.

28:20 Adam Oh, really?

28:21 Tom Arnold Yeah.

28:22 Adam So, you know, actually, you know, you know how they say that like a goldfish will only get as big as the bowl kind of thing? If I was a prison warden, I have the ceilings lower and have them narrowed down a little so some of those behemoths didn't grow so much. You know, they're just pumping iron and eating prison slop while they get 400 pounds. They come out of that. They come out ripped. You know what I'm saying? You know what prisons are? It's like being locked at a holiday health spa. It really is like being locked in a gym.

28:50 Tom Arnold It's exactly like that.

28:51 Adam It's like someone...

28:52 Tom Arnold It's a vacation.

28:53 Adam Yeah, for 20... It's like if they locked you in a gym for 10 years, you might not work out for the first 4 years, but eventually you go, oh, screw it, give me that medicine ball. I mean, so these guys come out like assassins.

29:08 Tom Arnold Right.

29:08 Adam You know? So if you lowered the ceiling again, they'd only get so big. Or they'd have really low self-esteem. I don't know what it is, but I'm working on this one. This is good. All right. Ashley. Yeah. You're 17. Yeah. You know, I bet the guys in prison would have liked your tip on the wet side, dry side towel.

29:27 Tom Arnold Yeah, they would. I don't think they let them have towels.

29:29 Adam Oh, really?

29:30 Drew They might hang themselves.

29:31 Tom Arnold Maybe. Yeah, that's right. Well, that's what you do. You straggle yourself a little bit, and then it's really good. Is that what that's called?

29:37 Drew Auto erotic asphyxiation.

29:38 Tom Arnold Have you ever done that, Drew?

29:40 Drew Not until last night.

29:44 Adam I got tangled up in the phone cord once when I was drunk. It was good. Don't get me wrong. All right, Ashley?

29:51 Drew Yeah.

29:52 Adam I do remember very clearly about twelve years ago when my grandmother was explaining that phenomenon to me. Sort of halfway into it. So, you master it. Oh, Jesus. And then what they do is they strangle them. That's good, Grandma. Thanks. Now I'm out of commission for a week. Thank you. Ashley, what's up?

30:11 Yeah. You know what? I actually made up my question. I apologize for that, but I'm dying to talk to you guys.

30:16 Great.

30:17 I just think you guys are awesome, and I totally admire you for all the time and energy you spend on these collars. It's really cool.

30:24 Drew Wait, wait now, Ashley. You heard Adam doesn't spend much energy at all. If he has to spend energy, he starts screaming at him.

30:30 Adam Well, that's energy, isn't it?

30:32 Tom Arnold That's true.

30:33 Adam Yeah.

30:34 I go to a really small private girl's school, and there's not much information circulating to say the least.

30:39 Drew Where do you live?

30:40 San Francisco.

30:41 Adam What kind of outfits do you wear there?

30:44 Britney Spears outfits.

30:46 Adam Oh, really? Seriously?

30:47 It's pretty bad.

30:48 Adam Oh, my God. Talk about just putting out the welcome wagon to the pedophiles and the rapists. You know what I mean? I think you guys should be wearing orange jumpsuits like prisoners. You know what I mean? I mean, think about it for a second. I know it sounds... I mean, this is a problem, right? There's a lot of young women getting pregnant, being sexually assaulted and stuff. You put them in the pigtails and the plaid skirt and the knee-high socks and you're asking for trouble.

31:15 Drew Are there problems there, Ashley?

31:17 Well, not really. It's just kind of weird to have these girls with really short skirts and makeup, you know, when it's all girls. It's kind of weird, but no, not really.

31:27 Adam Do the girls still get dutted up or primped for each other?

31:32 Yeah.

31:33 Adam I mean, see, you go to an all-boys school, I'd be walking around a pair of sweatpants with an erection and like mustard on it and slippers, you know?

31:40 Drew And lunch on your chest. Yeah.

31:41 Adam Yeah. I mean, forget it. Are you kidding? I mean, why? Why are they getting primped?

31:48 I don't know.

31:49 Drew Is it in the middle of the city?

31:50 Yeah.

31:52 It's in Pacific Heights.

31:53 Right.

31:54 Adam But women do compete with other women.

31:56 Drew Oh, yeah.

31:57 Adam I think. Men compete with other men when there's women around or in sports, but not amongst each other when there's no women around.

32:05 Drew They're just physically competing.

32:06 Tom Arnold Eating contests.

32:07 Adam Yeah. They see who can eat the most bacon.

32:10 Tom Arnold Right.

32:11 Adam They do smart things like that. I love that. I had my friends once. It was great. Three of them, to see how much water they could drink in ten minutes. They all vomited. It was great. It's great paying guys like I have that friend that paid a guy a hundred bucks to eat a cube of butter. He vomited.

32:29 Drew Right. He's paying guys to vomit, basically.

32:32 Adam Guys will pay guys to torture them. It's great.

32:36 Drew Asher, do you have a question?

32:37 Adam No.

32:37 Actually, I do have a couple.

32:38 Okay. The first one is Adam.

32:41 I'm just kind of curious. Where did you get your working around metal theory?

32:45 Drew Working around metal?

32:46 Adam The men who work around metal?

32:47 Yeah.

32:47 I'm just curious where you got that.

32:48 Adam And why I don't trust them?

32:50 Yeah.

32:50 Adam Well, it's mainly guys. Blue collar is a pretty scary way to go with the guys. That's per capital. That's alcoholism and rapists and child abuse and stuff like that. And then even that has a pecking order. And I guess, you know, sort of Finnish carpenter sort of at the top, and it works its way down to welder. And I worked with a guy when I used to do earthquake rehab work, I worked with a couple of welders and they're the scuzziest guys in the world. And most welders get into welding so that they can fix their motorcycles. They're usually bikers who get jobs at muffler shops. Go to, now I'm not talking about a big chain, Minike or something, or Midas or something like that, but go to a hole-in-the-wall muffler place and take a look at the dude who's sitting in there with that scraggly beard and he's got his hog leaned up against the wall and he's got his nudie magazines everywhere. And I work with this dude named Russ, and Russ told me the first day I met him, and that's what I like about these guys, the first day I met the guy was telling me how he put Pop Rocks in his wife's coups and ate it. And I thought, you know, I've known you for four and a half hours and you're telling me how you violated your wife with candy.

33:57 Tom Arnold Did you ever do that with anybody?

33:59 Adam No, I never did the Pop Rocks thing.

34:00 Tom Arnold I mean, it seems like something that would be in the back of your mind and come up, you know, just happen to have some.

34:04 Adam You figure Russ planted the seed.

34:06 Tom Arnold Exactly.

34:07 Adam But no, I was so disgusted by the look of this guy, Russ, he was like toothless and he was scraggly. You know when guys are really skinny and look really out of shape at the same time? It's kind of a tall order, but it's really bad, like super skinny with a gut. And that was Russ.

34:25 Drew Did you work before?

34:27 Tom Arnold I worked in a meatpacking plant. That's a whole different animal because, you know, we got guys in there that are, you know, the guys that were in Livestock who actually did most of the killing are a different breed than the guys that did the cutting, you know. And it was in Iowa, back in the time.

34:44 Drew It's like people follow the path of least resistance. They go to the place where they don't feel.

34:49 Adam Right.

34:50 Drew We were talking to Kim Cole about this last night. She had some experiences where she couldn't understand why she was going back for some abuse. And she didn't even notice that she was being abused. She didn't have a feeling about it.

34:58 Adam I couldn't imagine working in a slaughterhouse.

35:01 Tom Arnold Oh, I did it three years. Three years. No windows. You know, it's 5,000 hogs a day we killed. And they just cut them up. But it was the best job in town. My grandpa worked there 50 years.

35:14 Drew Same kind of job?

35:15 Tom Arnold Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had my nickname was Gunner because my job with the hog had a broken leg. My job was to shoot it in the head and kill it. You know, put it out. It's misery. And so one day there was six of them with broken legs. It was lunchtime. So you're supposed to shoot them one at a time and hang them up and then cut their throat, you know, like the humane way. And I just shot them all and they went to lunch and they condemned them. They said these can't be used. And then I almost got fired and then I got the nickname Gunner.

35:39 Adam Because they hung out for a while.

35:41 Tom Arnold Yeah, you got to cut their throats right away to get that blood out of them because it taints them. As soon as they're dead, they have to be hung up by their backhoof. The way they usually kill...

35:50 Adam Same with hookers, by the way. I don't know if people know that.

35:53 Tom Arnold People that eat meat should know this, but the way they do kill them, they shock them and it drops them down.

35:58 Adam Oh, they walk onto a grate or something?

36:00 Tom Arnold They walk onto it and they put this thing comes on their back with these prods and it just shocks them and it knocks them out. Then, they hang them up by their back hoof and cut their throat right away and that's how they kill them.

36:10 Adam When did the shocking part come in?

36:11 Tom Arnold That's for the humane. They used to hit them in the head with a hammer and then a lot of times you would have to hit them a whole bunch of times and that's not good, but this way it's sort of humane.

36:23 Adam Okay, so they do the shock or they can choose lethal injection.

36:27 Tom Arnold Exactly.

36:28 Adam But they give them the shock and then you have to slit their throat and hang them immediately.

36:32 Tom Arnold Immediately.

36:32 Adam What's the average weight of one of those hogs?

36:34 Tom Arnold About 250 pounds.

36:35 Adam Okay, so you got to get them up on a hoist or something and bleed them immediately because the blood sits in them for any period of time.

36:40 Tom Arnold It's screwed up.

36:41 Adam Once they're dead, obviously. They're condemned. They're condemned.

36:44 Tom Arnold They're condemned, yeah.

36:45 Adam You got to feel good when you're a hog that Tom Arnold just put a.44 slug in your head and you're going out in the dumpster. Nice. Nice life. Thank God you're here.

36:55 Tom Arnold Exactly.

36:56 Adam Now, you got to shoot the ones or you had to shoot the ones who had a bad leg because they were broken.

37:02 Tom Arnold They were hurt. Yeah, they couldn't be hung up because their leg was broken. It wouldn't hold by the chain. I mean, it's sad, but that's the way it went. I worked on farms. Then I shot them and then they were dead and then we used them for other types of activities like pepperoni for pizza hut. We would get these boars in that had been out like 1800 pounds, that had been in the farmer's fields. They didn't know where they were for years. They'd bring them in. They're so big and mean. We tried to weigh them and they're so violent. You got to be careful. One guy had this big bar and as soon as they'd be knocking people around, they'd kill the guy once and knock people around. He'd take that bar and you know.

37:43 Adam Wait a minute, did you eat the guy? Well, they had to. The inspector was coming by.

37:50 Tom Arnold But this is how crazy these people are at work there. Then the testicles in the back, he'd take that iron bar and just give them a little tap and then it would settle down and then they could shock them and cut their throats.

38:02 Adam Right. To me, it's like Vietnam.

38:06 Tom Arnold It was hard.

38:07 Adam You work in Vietnam. You go in and punch in at Vietnam.

38:10 Tom Arnold It was hard. But that's just on the kill floor. If you're in a ham bone or something like that, you don't really see that. You just see the hams. They aren't human. They aren't animal. They aren't alive. Right.

38:20 Adam Right. But being down on the floor, especially after... Did your mom read your Charlotte's Web when you were growing up?

38:26 Tom Arnold No, we didn't have to read.

38:28 Adam Okay. Good man.

38:29 Tom Arnold Exactly. I understand. I've read it.

38:30 Adam There's a pig in that.

38:31 Drew Do you eat meat?

38:32 Tom Arnold Oh, yeah. I used to eat meat. I'd cut a ham and come by. I'd cut a big chunk off and cook it in my meat cleaner. You know, you had a little hot steamer there and eat it.

38:41 Adam What was the hot steamer?

38:42 Tom Arnold You had a fondue bowl? Yeah. It's like a big cup that's full of hot water. You clean your knife in it and it's boiling. You just cut a piece of ham off and put it in there and eat it. Yeah.

38:53 Adam Nice. I'm a Jew. This is why you're scared to not work. Now, listen, you're not Jewish when you're in Iowa. That's true. No wonder the guy's scared to turn down work. He's going back, he's going to the floor, he's going to do some slitting. One last question.

39:12 Tom Arnold Yeah.

39:12 Adam When you shoot the hog, do you shoot it with a pistol?

39:15 Tom Arnold No, we shoot it with a pistol type weapon that has a bolt.

39:19 Adam It has a hammer in it, right?

39:20 Tom Arnold Yeah. It's a bolt that comes out about six inches, maybe it goes into right behind the ear, and immediately if you do it right, you get them down immediately.

39:28 Drew Pissing.

39:29 Adam Yeah. It just punctures the skull and goes actually into the brain?

39:32 Tom Arnold Yeah. Now, my sister works there. She got out of prison after 10 years. Last year, she's already got a job down there and doing great.

39:38 Adam Really?

39:39 Tom Arnold Yeah. Perfect job for her.

39:40 Adam She was an extra in the Bishami movie.

39:42 Tom Arnold Yeah.

39:43 Adam Well, hold on. Now, we got to go to break.

39:44 Drew I wonder why it's a good job for her.

39:46 Adam I could do another. Here's the problem with this show, quite honestly. I get told constantly by the program director, stop talking and start taking calls. But when Tom Arnold comes in here and talks about putting hits on pigs and going to lunch and his boiling pot in front of him and his sister doing time, what are you supposed to do with that?

40:04 Drew We got to talk.

40:05 Adam All right. We'll come back.

40:07 Drew It's him talking, not you. That's okay.

40:09 Adam How dare you? How dare you? We'll find out what his sister did time for, and then we'll take some calls after this.

40:20 Loveline will be right back.

40:21 So get your problems ready.

40:56 Adam Hey, it is Loveline. Who doesn't want to stop this conversation?

41:01 Tom Arnold Doesn't sound familiar.

41:02 Adam Tom Arnold is our guest tonight. He's got a new movie coming out this Friday, and limited release, which means New York, LA, and I don't know, maybe Chicago, something like that.

41:12 Tom Arnold That'd be good.

41:13 Adam But it'll get to a town near you soon enough. It's called Animal Factory, coincidentally.

41:20 Tom Arnold It was a hog factory, not a cow. Don't you have a hog sound? You think you would on this show.

41:24 Adam You really do.

41:25 Tom Arnold Of all things.

41:27 Adam There we go.

41:28 Tom Arnold Boy, that's familiar.

41:29 Adam Is that it?

41:29 Tom Arnold Oh, yeah. Just multiply that by 5,000. And you got my daily grind.

41:34 Drew You got the smell going, too.

41:35 Tom Arnold Oh, the smell. Unbelievable.

41:37 Adam Oh, my God.

41:38 Tom Arnold Unbelievable.

41:39 Adam Oh, man. 5,000 a day.

41:42 Tom Arnold I remember when I was working there, the first year, this gal, I heard this gal wanted me to take her to the prom. I was the first year out of high school. And I went home from work, and she was there. And I hadn't showered yet. You know, I worked at Livestock. What a woman. And then asked me to go to the prom with her, to take her to the prom. I mean, that's how desperate she was. Then she ended up not going with me. I forget what happened. I was going to go.

42:03 Drew Your sister was in jail.

42:04 Tom Arnold My sister was in prison.

42:05 Adam Ten years.

42:06 Tom Arnold Ten years for interstate criminal enterprise drugs. And her husband is still in prison in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. Because he wouldn't apologize.

42:16 Adam So she was selling drugs.

42:17 Tom Arnold Yes, she was selling, trying to manufacture drugs, feed crystal meth. Yeah. Yeah.

42:23 Adam And was this a first offense?

42:25 Tom Arnold Yeah. Yeah. They'd actually busted her once. She was driving in from her farm, quote unquote, and she saw the battery gram, everybody coming out and she called Floyd and said, Hey, better flush everything down the toilet. And he did. So they got away with it. But of course they kept their ego and the addiction. They just kept on selling it. You know, they had a plane and they drove a Jaguar. You know, stupid stuff. And the Jaguar, the license plate said dealer. So you know, well, they had the cops. There was policemen back in Atomwa that were working for him. My stepfather was a captain of the police force. He was the head of security at their farm. Oh my God. And several. They had a, you know, but it was crazy. It was crazy. And you knew it was going to happen. And then it happened. And then she, you know, had to go away for 10 years and working at the slaughterhouse. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Well, she was a model prisoner back there in West Virginia. She got the prisoner of the month several times and she did very, very well.

43:17 Adam That's going on the resume.

43:18 Drew I want to hope there isn't. There is not really that such a thing.

43:21 Tom Arnold Oh, absolutely. There is.

43:22 Drew Oh my God.

43:23 Tom Arnold You know, I went back and talked to 98 percent of the women are there because of drugs.

43:27 Drew Oh, yeah.

43:27 Adam Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

43:30 Drew How do you feel about that as a recovering person? Do you think that it helps people get structure of their lives so they eventually get into recovery, creates the consequences that deliver them to recovery? Or are we just spinning our wheels needlessly?

43:40 Tom Arnold Well, some of it's good. I think Robert Downey Jr. does probably a good thing for him. I mean, it's good when you get a judge.

43:45 Drew Scott Weiland saved his life.

43:46 Tom Arnold Yeah, definitely. It's good when you get a judge that'll be tough because, you know, there's so many, you know, you see him today. I have friends that have kids that are out there and they're doing all this stuff. And, you know, a lot of them are rich kids. So the parents, they've never had to have a job. The parents, you know, they don't have any self-esteem. The parents don't know what to do until the kid gets arrested or dies or whatever. It's just these, there needs to be some serious consequences.

44:09 Drew Well, that's what the law provides, though, right?

44:11 Tom Arnold Exactly.

44:12 Drew So is that a good thing?

44:13 Tom Arnold It is. Well, it saved her life. I mean, she went to prison and didn't keep doing all the crystal she was doing and probably, you know, but people back in my hometown get arrested every day. They know it's illegal. But the problem with crystal is it's not like Coke where you got to involve, you know, international people, you can make it in your bathtub. And they say, well, this is a chance to make some money and it's so addictive and such a grungy drug that people continue to do it. And the fit, you know, the penalties are incredible. Her first offense to get, she got 25 years originally. They were going to go for a life sentence on the Rico Statute. Wow. But she, well, the problem is she had the DEA agents, they have a videotape of they went to make a deal with her and they sat there. It was just the two agents and her. And they said, well, you know, Laurie, we're surprised. You know, this is a lot of money. You know, you aren't scared. She goes, no, I'm not scared. And she pulled out her gun and sat it in front of her. That got her another five years.

45:06 Adam She's brazen, this one. Yeah.

45:08 Drew There's a new proposition coming out in California that's trying to funnel some of that punitive sort of response to treatment.

45:16 Tom Arnold That's a great idea.

45:18 Adam I think it's a good idea, too.

45:19 Tom Arnold Here's the problem. Kids don't realize, people don't realize this. When you do Coke, okay, you're doing Coke, you're partying with your buddies, but you think about it politically, what you are doing. You are involving the line from that Coke to get to you, all the things that have happened in that original country, the corruption, people are dying over there. You know, all these people that are very liberal, and yet they're doing Coke and even smoking pot, you know.

45:45 Drew So what Thomas is saying is make your own speed.

45:47 Tom Arnold Think about it. Yeah, you gotta make your own speed. Get some free on.

45:50 Adam Look for the Union label. I agree with you, Tom, on that one. All right. So, Sis is out of prison. She was a model prisoner. She was a prom queen two years running, and a Snow Days queen, I think, in prison as well, and is now out and she's working at the, she's not driving the Jag anymore.

46:08 Tom Arnold No, no, no, no, no.

46:10 Adam You know what's great? I got to say one thing, and then we're going to call.

46:12 Tom Arnold Okay.

46:13 Adam I love to see a car that is well past its prime, some pimps, some drug dealers, someone who's really riding high for a lot of a while, took his Cadillac DeVille, had it modified, put the Rolls Royce grill on it, put the spare tire on top of the trunk, had it painted gold and stuff, and is still driving it 17 years later, but it's a piece of ass now. It's great. Yeah, that's good. Got the opera windows with the carved glass. The ego is still there, but it's falling apart. Right. Cliff?

46:39 Yes.

46:39 Adam You're 29. What's up?

46:42 Caller Well, I've been kind of embarrassed for the last 20 years, I guess. I've been wanting to go to the doctor or this. I'm very small, and I was wanting to find out. I've listened to your show a bunch, and I really admire y'all's talk, how y'all talk to people.

47:05 Drew How big are we talking about here?

47:06 Adam Where are you from? France?

47:08 Caller No, sir. I'm from Kentucky.

47:10 Adam New York?

47:11 Caller Oh, okay.

47:11 Tom Arnold You sound like you live by an airport.

47:14 Caller No, sir. I'm on a cell phone.

47:16 Adam Okay.

47:16 Caller I travel and I just happened to... I'm right outside of Cincinnati listening to y'all.

47:23 Adam Nice. It's a wonderful airport there. Do you... you're small in the pants, in the groin?

47:28 Tom Arnold How big are you?

47:31 Caller Four inches, hard.

47:34 Adam Oh, have you had any complaints from the ladies?

47:38 Drew Yeah. What happened?

47:40 Adam Outside the family?

47:41 Drew What happened?

47:43 Caller What happened, Cliff? Well, I've gone through several divorces and, you know, mainly because people was cheating on me or whatever.

47:51 Adam Yeah, but that's not the reason.

47:53 Drew That's not the penis size. What we have found, although you're slightly somewhat under average, what we have found is that men who preoccupy about this, that really becomes a symbol for their own worth, for their own esteem. And that if you felt better about yourself, what you were doing in your life, this would not be such a big issue.

48:09 Adam How do you feel better about yourself when you have a small dork, Dr. Drew?

48:11 Drew Relax.

48:12 Tom Arnold Okay.

48:13 Adam Hey, Cliff?

48:13 Tom Arnold Well, I'll tell you. The thing about that is, I mean, it is so, no matter how much money you have or who you are, you're so connected. I have, Cliff, a little tape measure next to my bed, and this is a little embarrassing, but I'm going to tell you this, because first of all, my ex-wife used to do a lot of jokes about me having a small penis, so which actually was good because when people expect three inches and see four, they're kind of impressed. But no, I have it there. And you know, average is, what is it, 5.2?

48:41 Adam 5.2.

48:41 Tom Arnold 5.2? So I am above average and I've whipped out that tape measure just to, you know, show. Now you do measure from the rectum, right?

48:49 Adam Well, I've been talking about from the rectum to just beyond the end of the penis. It's the way I measure mine.

48:56 Tom Arnold Right.

48:56 Adam Just beyond the imaginary point.

48:58 Tom Arnold But four inches is not, that's not a problem. No, it's not a problem. The problem is with the people, you know, first of all, your self-esteem is probably a problem because, you know, no matter what, you know, I always think guys with these huge penises, what do they have to live for? I mean, they've got the big penis, so they aren't going to try in life. It's the guys with the small to average penises. We're the ones here that are going to be out there. We're going to be the best husbands and the best guys because we have to.

49:23 Adam We're the scrappers. We're the Wayne Krabats.

49:25 Tom Arnold Exactly.

49:26 Adam Of the, and Drew, I know you don't know that is a short-

49:29 Tom Arnold He actually has a big penis.

49:30 Adam Wide receiver on the overachiever.

49:33 Tom Arnold He's a great guy.

49:34 Adam That's what I'm saying. We gotta take a break. Here's a deal. Get down with the oral sex. Women like that better anyway.

49:40 Drew Get your ass together in life.

49:41 Adam And we'll be back.

49:43 Hello, this is your radio.

49:46 Love Line will be right back.

50:30 It's Loveline, everybody.

50:32 Adam Yeah. All right. That one didn't work. That one. Tom Arnold is our guest tonight. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. I like Tom as a guest because he's very, very honest on the show. Always, always a good guest on the show. Matt?

50:50 Yeah.

50:50 Adam You're 16?

50:51 Caller Yeah.

50:51 Adam What's up?

50:53 Caller Yeah. Ever since I've been like 14, I've had like a really small, I've been really small. And as I notice it now, I've looked at it in the last couple of months, I've seen a ring around my penis about halfway.

51:08 Adam Like a halo?

51:08 Drew What are you talking about?

51:09 Adam About half ways, the one inch mark?

51:13 Caller No, no, more about the three inch mark. And it's my regular skin color below the line and above it. It's like real pink.

51:20 Drew Yeah. People get various kinds of pigmentation in the penis. It's a normal thing.

51:24 Adam Are you a dark skin person?

51:26 Caller No, no, I'm white.

51:27 Tom Arnold Do you go in a tanning bed?

51:29 Caller No.

51:30 Tom Arnold Okay, because if you go in a tanning bed and you do masturbate in there, then you will get weird tan.

51:34 Drew That's true.

51:35 Caller Okay.

51:36 Adam Yeah, but it does...

51:37 Tom Arnold You go blind too, because you got to keep your eyes on the door in case somebody comes in.

51:39 Caller Is it like some squeezing?

51:41 Adam You can spill some of that SPF 30 on your belly and that will block it out and give you a blotchy tan.

51:46 Caller Is it like from using lubrication?

51:49 Drew Your skin can pigment from irritation, from overactive...

51:55 Caller Can I ask one more question?

51:55 Adam Tom recommends Astro Glide by the way.

51:57 Tom Arnold I do, it's edible.

52:00 Caller Adam, you and Howard Stern are like my favorite radio guys. What do you think of him?

52:04 Adam I like him. You do? Yeah, I listen to him quite often.

52:08 Tom Arnold I did the show last week and I will say this.

52:10 Caller Yeah, I heard you on there.

52:12 Tom Arnold I brought the gal that I'm dating.

52:14 Caller Yeah.

52:14 Tom Arnold We went on The View on Monday, which was good. She was in the audience, they showed that. Yeah. Then I brought her on Howard Stern and I'll tell you the relationship.

52:23 Drew That is it.

52:24 Tom Arnold Oh, man. That was a six-hour silent flight on the way back.

52:28 Drew What did he do?

52:28 Tom Arnold Well, it wasn't him. He was nice. It was nice to be, but it was the callers. One of them, they were all slamming me, but one of them said something about her being a gold digger. It was that they had the regular callers, the same guys that call up, whatever. I'm so used to being slammed that I think it's funny. It shocked her because she's a private person. Plus, the fact is that it made our relationship public. You hear from ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends. If you break up with somebody, you don't expect to see them on or hear them on national radio or see them on national TV. You just want to forget about the relationship. This put it all in the forefront, and it's been tough since.

53:13 Adam Tom, I know hindsight is 2020, but it seemed like a bad idea to bring her along.

53:18 Tom Arnold You know what? It was, and I apologize to her mother. Her mother didn't give me a break. She wasn't like, I understand. She's like, yeah, that was bad. Don't put my daughter in a situation.

53:28 I don't understand exactly what happened.

53:30 Tom Arnold Well, I went on the show and I brought her in. She was with me in New York. I said, come on, it'll be fine. So the show was about us and about her, and why she's taking me and you know.

53:42 So he just starts picking at her.

53:44 Tom Arnold But he was just being nice. But then Robin was kind of being a little bitchy. And then the people that called in, and she had a necklace on that I had given her and they made a big thing out of that like it was the Hope Diamond or something. And it was shocking to her. She's a political consultant. She's not used to. The view was kind of fun. She sat in the audience. They showed her in the audience. Nice. And then this was one of the other.

54:07 Drew Barbara Walters was a little different.

54:09 Adam She didn't terror new. Barbara didn't terror a new asshole.

54:11 Tom Arnold No she didn't. But she handled it very, very well. And it was a good litmus test as my publicist said.

54:19 Drew Trial by fire.

54:20 Adam Whatever doesn't kill you Tom.

54:23 Tom Arnold But I like that show too.

54:26 Adam I do enjoy listening to it and I have a hand for many years. Kevin?

54:29 Drew Yeah.

54:30 Adam You're 21. What's up? Alright. When I'm not listening to Kevin and Bean by the way, which is on the camera.

54:35 Drew That's all I listen to. They're good too. I like them. Nice guys.

54:38 Adam They go off at 10 and then Howard.

54:39 Drew Even though they are incredibly abusive to me.

54:42 Adam Oh, true. They're jealous. They're jealous. That's all.

54:45 Tom Arnold That's got to be it.

54:46 Adam Kevin?

54:47 Caller Yeah. Hey.

54:47 Adam What's up?

54:48 Caller It's a big honor you guys. I'm happy to be on.

54:51 Adam Well, thanks.

54:52 Caller What's that? Just one quick question. How come you sometimes say a hole and then other times you just blurt it out? An asshole.

54:59 Adam Yeah. I don't know.

55:01 Tom Arnold I think it's two different things. It's two different words, really.

55:05 Drew You're trying to be delicate sometimes.

55:07 Adam Yeah. I don't know. All I do know is that I'm used to saying, I don't give an ass and effed up and mother effer and things like that. I talk that way in real life too and people look at me strange.

55:19 Tom Arnold Sounds like you have kids.

55:22 Adam Yeah. It's funny. But now, Kevin, I have no idea. Do you have a question?

55:27 Caller Yeah. I got a question. All right. Last summer, I was eating a bunch of LSD and smoking all kinds of dope and I managed to kind of work myself into a towering psychosis and I had to be hospitalized.

55:39 Drew Nice.

55:40 Caller Then since then, I got treatment and I've gone sober and everything. Oh, and when I was hospitalized, I was diagnosed with bipolar, of course, because of all the mania. But then since then, I've been sober and I haven't had any manic symptoms at all.

55:55 Drew And you're off medicine?

55:57 Caller Well, I'm still taking antidepressants. I'm not taking any mood stabilizers.

56:00 Drew So it's somewhat hard to know if the drugs precipitated something that was sort of preexisting or whether that really was just a manifestation of your drug use. And make no mistake, drugs, all drugs of abuse can mimic any psychiatric syndrome that there is. Oh, really? The rule of thumb is you're not even supposed to try to make a psychiatric diagnosis until somebody has been completely drug free for at least 2 to 6 months, depending on the thing. Really?

56:27 Caller Yeah, that's exactly what my psychiatrist said. He said that usually there's a preexisting condition and then the drugs will kind of extend to what he said. He said that generally drugs don't just create.

56:36 Drew No, you're missing what I've said. I said it's possible it's preexisting, but it's extremely common for drugs just to create these psychiatrists. All right.

56:43 Adam So what should he do?

56:45 Drew You just follow along and maybe after a year of sobriety, a couple of sobriety, you may want to get off the antidepressants, but just the drugs you've been doing is going to put you at risk for a lifetime of depression. So I wouldn't be in a hurry to get off those drugs.

56:55 Adam Are you on anything?

56:56 Tom Arnold I'm not on anything, but I did used to take it. The last time I took acid, which I've been sober almost 11 years, I will say this.

57:03 Adam Almost 11 years.

57:04 Tom Arnold Yeah, December 10th will be 11 years.

57:06 Adam Wow.

57:07 Tom Arnold Thank you. But I have to say this. First of all, when I took acid, I would always be drinking a lot and I'd forget how much I'd taken and I'd always take more extra. And second, my roommates at the University of Iowa had a Christmas party and they didn't invite me because I was an asshole. But I just thought they didn't like it. They were snobs. I remember looking in the front window and they were all gathered around a Christmas tree exchanging gifts. I felt so bad. I was there with my drug buddies. So I stormed into the house and grabbed the Christmas tree and threw it out into the street. And that was the last time. Yeah, that was the last time. They cut up all my shoes.

57:37 Adam But that's great. You really think about it. They only have to cut one shoe off. Exactly.

57:42 Tom Arnold I own a winner.

57:44 Adam That's great. I'm walking around with the Kleenex boxes on his shoe.

57:48 Tom Arnold And I had a friend call him up the next day and say, Hey, did you see Tom last night? Somebody must have spiked his drink or something because I guess he was acting weird. I was so embarrassed.

57:56 Adam No, but I'm talking about like antidepressants.

58:00 Tom Arnold No, I probably thought about whether I need him or not because I do get depressed.

58:04 Adam Never on any of that sort of stuff.

58:05 Tom Arnold I haven't been. I would do it. I have a therapist. If he wanted me to take it, I would. But exercise works out pretty well for me.

58:13 Adam Well, it does.

58:14 Tom Arnold And the place of my life, you should be depressed. In life, you should.

58:19 Adam Well, what about your sister got prisoner of the year? What are you talking about? Bill Shrindor at the Arnold House.

58:28 Yeah.

58:28 Adam I'm going to go kiss my sister next MSU, by the way. I'm sorry for all those things I said. John, you're 19. What's up?

58:36 Caller Quick question for you. I just want to say first, I love your show. Oh, thanks. I don't know. It's kind of weird. My mom went out of town maybe a week ago. She's coming back in a week. And it's been happening for maybe two or three years. Whenever I'm home alone, you know, by ready to go to bed around 10, 11 o'clock, I get kind of paranoid. Right. Like there's someone in the house, there's someone around the house. I live kind of in the wooded area, you know.

58:59 Drew Are you categorically convinced there's someone there or you just get kind of a free-floating fear that that's happening?

59:05 Caller It's like a free-floating fear.

59:06 Drew That's normal. You're 19.

59:09 Caller All right.

59:09 Tom Arnold I'd be like that too, especially in the woods.

59:11 Adam Are you on drugs?

59:12 Are you paranoid?

59:14 Caller Not on drugs. I used to smoke weed maybe once a week, but I stopped that maybe four months ago.

59:20 Adam Nah.

59:20 Caller Got bored with it.

59:21 Drew Nah.

59:21 Adam That ain't it. Nah, I think you're 19 and it-

59:25 Drew And you're alone in the woods.

59:26 Tom Arnold There are a lot of killers out there though.

59:28 Adam Yeah, especially in the woods. So have a good night. No, it's true. There's something weird about being out on your own or being on your own for the first time, 18 or 19 years old, and it wears off at a certain point. Then you get to the point where I'm at now, which is you're pissed off when people show up at the house. What do you want?

59:47 Tom Arnold When I was about nine years old, my grandparents would go out of town and I had to take care of my great grandmother in their big old house. When you were nine? When I was nine years old.

59:54 Drew How old was your great grandmother?

59:55 Tom Arnold She was like 85.

59:57 Drew Oh my God.

59:58 Tom Arnold So I would be and I remember the bed I slept in. There was a mirror straight across from it and I would look in that mirror at night thinking the shadows, thinking there was somebody on the headboard ready to jump on me. I just could never sleep. It's terrible. I still have a little fear.

1:00:13 Adam I grew up, I had that situation too which is my parents got divorced when I was seven years old and I was living with my sort of depressed mom who didn't like to go out of a room too much. And it was a very horrible and uncomfortable feeling which is you're eight, you're nine, you're ten years old, you know you can't defend yourself but you're old enough to know that mommy ain't doing nothing if the hillside strangler breaks into the house which was very popular. And see when you're a kid you can't put things in a context. You watch the news, you hear the hillside stranglers out on the loose or the night stalkers out on the loose and you figure they've got a 50-50 chance of this guy bussing in at least twice a week.

1:00:53 Drew Well you've got to run through our yard at some point.

1:00:55 Adam At some point.

1:00:56 Tom Arnold But hopefully you'll kill your mom first so you can hear the screams and then you can be alerted.

1:01:00 Adam Right. That's why I had an arrow go into her room saying prize hog.

1:01:06 There you go.

1:01:07 Adam Make sure and hang her up. I'll be heading out the back window. Melissa? Yeah. You're 18? What's up?

1:01:16 Caller Well, I've been with this guy for like two weeks.

1:01:18 Adam Well, hold on. I'm not interested in that. I want to talk to this person. Why? Because I just saw this person is having sex with his cousin. Asshole. Ben?

1:01:27 Yeah.

1:01:27 Adam You're 18?

1:01:28 Caller That's right.

1:01:28 Adam You're having sex with your cousin?

1:01:30 Caller Yeah. All right. I had a question. I was just wondering if by accident we had a kid. Yeah. Could that be messed up or?

1:01:41 Tom Arnold First cousin?

1:01:42 Drew It could. You know, it's more of the potential for those kinds of problems than there should be.

1:01:48 Adam Now, whose side of the family is this on?

1:01:51 Caller It's on my mom's side.

1:01:52 Adam So this is your mom's what? Brother or sister's kid?

1:01:56 Caller Sister's kid.

1:01:57 Adam Sister's kid. How old is she?

1:01:58 Caller She's 16.

1:02:00 Adam Nice. Does anyone know?

1:02:03 Caller Only another person knows. One of my friends.

1:02:05 Adam I see. You figure it's going to come out sooner or later though, right?

1:02:08 Caller Yeah.

1:02:10 Adam How are you a little taboo too theme for you? Are you guys seeing each other? I mean, you like dating and stuff?

1:02:16 Caller Well, not really. It's kind of just like a holiday thing. Yeah.

1:02:21 Adam It's just kind of a celebration.

1:02:23 Caller She'll actually be leaving in a couple of weeks.

1:02:26 Adam Oh, she's in town?

1:02:28 Caller Yeah.

1:02:28 Adam Nice. And she's staying with you guys? Oh, that's great. Well, she can talk to her therapist about that for a hundred years.

1:02:34 Yeah.

1:02:35 Adam And why don't you kind of back off and maybe date someone from school or something?

1:02:42 Drew Outside the clan.

1:02:43 Right.

1:02:44 Adam Can you do that?

1:02:45 Tom Arnold Well, I can try. For her sake. Yeah. Because she's younger.

1:02:48 Drew It's not healthy for her, above all else.

1:02:51 Adam Yeah. It screws women up. Guys can somehow handle this. Women don't handle it as well. All right, Ben? All right. And it doesn't, but it's a little bit of a wives tale that the kid comes out mongoloid, isn't it?

1:03:02 Drew No, it just the more potential for congenital problems. Sharing genes like that, not the healthiest thing for the population.

1:03:10 Adam Really? Doesn't get a pure breed? No.

1:03:13 Tom Arnold Well, plus the family, you know, they did just say it's bad. Oh, it causes friction.

1:03:18 Drew Oh, yeah.

1:03:19 Adam Now, what is that? What would their offspring become then?

1:03:22 Drew How would they?

1:03:22 Adam To the family? What is that?

1:03:25 Tom Arnold They would be second cousins to their own kid.

1:03:29 Adam You'd be second cousin to your kid?

1:03:30 Tom Arnold Yeah.

1:03:31 Adam Well, that's nice.

1:03:32 Tom Arnold How about you?

1:03:33 Adam Two presents on Christmas, right? Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. All right. Melissa?

1:03:40 Caller Yeah.

1:03:40 Adam So you're 18. I'm sorry. What's up?

1:03:44 Caller I've been seeing this guy for like two weeks.

1:03:46 Caller And he's already told me he loves me.

1:03:48 Caller And then now he hasn't called me for a week.

1:03:50 And I just don't know what to do because-

1:03:52 Tom Arnold Did you tell him you loved him?

1:03:53 Yeah, I did.

1:03:55 Adam How old is he?

1:03:56 Caller 21.

1:03:57 Adam I see. Is he really 21 or is he like 24?

1:04:00 Caller No, he's really, honestly 21.

1:04:01 Adam I see. And you're 18.

1:04:04 Caller And this is my first relationship.

1:04:05 Drew Oh boy.

1:04:06 Adam And why is it your first relationship?

1:04:09 I don't know.

1:04:10 Adam Are you scared of guys?

1:04:11 Caller No, just none of them ever approached me.

1:04:15 Drew Why do you think that is?

1:04:16 I don't know, honestly.

1:04:18 Adam Okay. Well, what are you doing now? You going to college?

1:04:20 Yeah.

1:04:21 Adam Where are you going to college?

1:04:23 UCSB.

1:04:24 Adam I see. Are you a gaucho?

1:04:26 A what?

1:04:27 Adam A gaucho.

1:04:28 I guess.

1:04:29 Adam Yeah, that's the name of the team there?

1:04:30 Yeah.

1:04:31 Adam Okay. I see you are a strong supporter of the squad. You never miss a home game, do you?

1:04:37 Tom Arnold Some guys are just jerks. I mean, this could be the situation I feel for because I always tell women, listen, when you say you love me, my only request is that you don't stop saying it. So save it until you are really ready. Because I usually will say it after about two weeks. And then I just wait and wait and wait. But what's bad is when they say it and then they stop saying it like, good night, I love you, okay, good night. And you wait for that, it's a sad thing. This guy probably just got scared and he's 21 and he's whatever.

1:05:06 Drew That or he's trying to manipulate her.

1:05:08 Tom Arnold It could be.

1:05:09 Adam Hey Melissa, I'll tell you what, why don't you give him one more shot and just be straight up with him. Just call him, here's what to do. And I recommend this to everyone although it never worked. Which is just call the person, here's the deal. You don't have to be immature just because they're being immature and you don't have to play a game just because they initiated a game. You can call a guy or a girl and say, hey, I realize this may be going against the advice of some of my friends but I like you. And if you like me, let's continue to see each other and if not, that's all right but tell me and we'll get on with our lives. And if he can't handle that, then it sort of takes care of itself.

1:05:46 Tom Arnold Go back to like in other words, that's good.

1:05:48 Adam There you go. Yeah that's so. She don't know the name for team. It's a little weird.

1:05:53 Tom Arnold She just started school.

1:05:54 Adam Okay. What is the date? All right. Janice, don't they take care of that? They have like freshmen orientation. Janice? Yeah. Iowa, go Hawkeyes.

1:06:04 Tom Arnold She from Iowa?

1:06:05 Adam No, I was just-

1:06:06 Tom Arnold Iowa, we're Hawkeyes.

1:06:06 Drew What's Iowa state?

1:06:08 Adam Iowa state is the Hogslappers.

1:06:12 Tom Arnold Cyclones. It's a bird. Cyclones. It's a bird but it's the cyclones.

1:06:16 Adam Janice?

1:06:17 Tom Arnold Yeah.

1:06:17 Adam You're 27. What's up?

1:06:20 Caller Do guys ever grow up and stop trying to have a sexual relationship with their female friends?

1:06:26 Adam Why? You have a lot of friends that want that?

1:06:28 Caller Yes. I always have. And I've been with my partner and it's a guy. I just call him my partner for six years and all his friends hit on me. And guys that I know hit on me, guys at work hit on me.

1:06:40 Drew Why do you call him your partner?

1:06:42 Caller Because he's not my boyfriend. I mean, I'm not 12. I'm not my husband.

1:06:48 Adam You're a little bitter toward the gents, are you? A little anger?

1:06:52 Caller No, I just think boyfriend is a really duvianal term and it doesn't really have anything to do with us.

1:06:56 Drew Because he won't commit to you?

1:06:58 Caller No, I mean, we are committed. We've been together, lived together and shared everything for six and a half years.

1:07:04 Drew He doesn't date other people?

1:07:05 Caller No.

1:07:06 Drew Why didn't you get married?

1:07:07 Caller We will. I mean, we just haven't gotten around to it.

1:07:10 Drew We haven't or he hasn't?

1:07:11 Caller We haven't. It's something we've talked about and it's just our families are from different cultures.

1:07:17 Adam Let me see how the conversation went. Let's get married. No.

1:07:20 Drew Not ready. More time.

1:07:22 Adam Janice, you like your dad?

1:07:25 Drew No.

1:07:25 Caller No. I don't even know him.

1:07:27 Adam There we go. Because here's the deal. There's plenty of attractive women who have plenty of male friends and they have it all under control. If guys are hitting on you, your buddies are hitting on you or his buddies are hitting on you, and people at work are hitting on you, there's two things you're doing. It's one of two things. Either you're projecting something that says, come hit on me, or you're hanging around with a hole.

1:07:46 Drew You're choosing a hole.

1:07:47 Adam It's one or the other.

1:07:48 Tom Arnold Where do you work?

1:07:49 Caller I'm an artist. I work in a gallery.

1:07:52 Tom Arnold Isn't all the guys there gay?

1:07:54 Caller No.

1:07:54 Tom Arnold No. Wow.

1:07:55 Adam There's some French guys. Okay.

1:07:58 Tom Arnold I have friends that are women that are married to my friends, but I'm actually friends with both. Right. That's great. I mean, those are my best friends, female friends. Yeah.

1:08:08 Adam I don't notice too much of this going on in my life. I haven't really.

1:08:12 Drew Then what?

1:08:13 Adam I have friends hitting on my girlfriends or me hitting on my friends' girlfriends.

1:08:18 Caller No.

1:08:18 Drew No.

1:08:18 Caller No. My boyfriend, I mean, his friends are jerks. I don't like his friends.

1:08:23 Drew So don't hang around them.

1:08:24 Adam Listen, let me tell you something. If all his friends are jerks, he's a jerk.

1:08:28 Tom Arnold Yeah, that's true.

1:08:30 Adam Understand?

1:08:30 Caller He's complacent.

1:08:32 Adam Okay, then he's an idiot.

1:08:34 Caller No, he's not.

1:08:35 Tom Arnold Well, he shouldn't hang out with those guys then.

1:08:37 Drew Why does he hang out with jerks then?

1:08:38 Tom Arnold Yeah.

1:08:39 Caller Because they've been his friends since college.

1:08:40 Tom Arnold So dumb. No.

1:08:42 Drew No. That's not. No. No good.

1:08:44 Adam Something's up here. Here's the deal, Janice. Whatever's going on here can be traced back to you.

1:08:49 Caller Okay.

1:08:50 Adam Please accept that.

1:08:51 Caller Okay.

1:08:51 Adam Because if you don't accept it, you're not going to be able to alter your course at all.

1:08:56 Caller Okay.

1:08:56 Adam All right. So why are all the guys at the gallery hitting on you?

1:09:01 Caller I mean, it's just I talk to people and I get to know people.

1:09:04 Adam Yeah.

1:09:05 Caller And like guys just seem to be able to talk to me really easily. And they'll say like, oh, I can't ever talk to my girlfriends like this. And then they just like me and we get to be friends.

1:09:15 Adam Don't you think there's a part of you that wants the attention though?

1:09:18 Caller I mean, I...

1:09:18 Tom Arnold Is your boyfriend's complacent?

1:09:21 Adam No.

1:09:21 Caller I mean, he's not with me. It's just with his friends.

1:09:24 Adam Okay. But put it this way, Janice, because I've had this done to me many times by women. If you meet a guy who you're clearly not interested in, you can present yourself in that way and he will get the hint.

1:09:37 Caller And then they just call me a bitch.

1:09:39 Adam Okay. Hey Janice, here's the deal. You're angry. You got problems with men. It probably has to do with your dad abandoning you.

1:09:47 Tom Arnold Stepdad's being a hoolz.

1:09:48 Adam And so on and so forth. And you're doing a lot of projection now. And there's no doubt that your boyfriend may be complacent, may be an idiot, and there's no doubt that his friends are jackasses. But you've turned every man in society into a guy who just wants sex. And you're projecting it.

1:10:03 Caller No, I'm not saying it's every man. It's just the people that I end up getting close to.

1:10:06 Drew Okay, that's you.

1:10:08 Tom Arnold Why question is this, now? When they hit on you, do they make out with you? Do they kiss you? How do you know they're hitting on you?

1:10:12 Caller No. I mean, like, they'll just... I mean, sometimes people have tried to kiss me and just tried to date me without... like after knowing that I'm in a relationship and I'm not interested.

1:10:21 Tom Arnold And you just say no, and then that's the end of it.

1:10:23 Caller Well, sometimes it's the end of it and then they just go, well, you're a bitch and I didn't like you anyway in the first place.

1:10:28 Adam You bitch! All right. And that ruins you? I mean, you're so fragile that...

1:10:32 Tom Arnold Your boyfriend should start slapping people around, I think.

1:10:35 Caller No. I mean, it doesn't matter to me. I don't care. It's just...

1:10:37 Adam Up, up, up. Don't care. Don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care.

1:10:43 Caller And that's it. And I just like to be able to have my friends...

1:10:45 Adam Janice. Janice. Janice. I know I sound like a broken record and I sound like an a-hole, but this is all you. It is all you. You just own it. Whatever it is. You're running... You're bringing it in.

1:10:57 Drew You've got to keep dealing with reality on reality terms. People put... They're casting a play all the time.

1:11:02 Adam Yes.

1:11:02 Drew It's just transference. Every male becomes transferred into daddy somehow, and she becomes that person she's always been in relation to those males rather than really assessing who that person is and dealing with them as a person, not as a symbol.

1:11:16 Adam Okay. So, dump this guy if his friends won't respect you, and as far as work goes, I don't care. All right, Les, I'm done helping you screw it up, people. That's it. Drew, let's go to the bathroom.

1:11:28 Drew Yeah.

1:11:29 Adam Tom, you want to watch?

1:11:30 Tom Arnold Let's do it.

1:11:30 Adam We'll be back.

1:11:31 Drew You're gay.

1:12:13 Adam It's Loveline and Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew. Tom Arnold is our guest tonight. He's out attempting to suck a golf ball through that cigar of his. He'll be in here in just a second. And I'll tell you one thing about Tom Arnold. He don't do anything 50%. No, no matter. Drugs, smoking, acting, work, whatever. He's there. He's got it.

1:12:36 Drew Slaughtering.

1:12:37 Adam Slaughtering hogs.

1:12:38 Drew Gunning.

1:12:41 Adam What a life.

1:12:42 Caller What a life.

1:12:43 Adam Hey, Tom. Come on in. Sit down. Let's jump in on these kids, by the way.

1:12:48 Tom Arnold Who are we curing?

1:12:49 Adam We're going to cure David, who's 18. Yeah, cure may not be the right word. David?

1:12:56 Caller Yeah, I have a problem. Well, ever since I was in seventh grade, I've had a larger penis than most grown men.

1:13:04 Adam Oh, that is rough, especially when you're in the seventh and eighth grade. I know, especially junior high, high school.

1:13:09 Tom Arnold Rick Weimer had a giant penis in the seventh grade. Yeah. Back in Iowa.

1:13:12 Drew Somebody you knew?

1:13:13 Tom Arnold Yeah, a kid we grew up with. It was amazing.

1:13:15 Adam You know, that's funny, too. We had a guy who had a big Johnson. His name is Mark Wampler. For some reason, Weimer and Wampler.

1:13:23 Tom Arnold Yeah.

1:13:24 Adam When a guy's got a big dork, his last name, you can sort of imagine a big penis. It's not that his last name is Shaftman or something. It's just that his name sounds like a name for big penis. Weimer. Oh, it's quite a Weimer you got there. You suck my Weimer. He was embarrassed about it, too, I think. Really?

1:13:44 Tom Arnold Yeah, because we commented on it so much.

1:13:47 Adam It must be nice, though, in a way to have that kind of thing.

1:13:50 Tom Arnold It's got to be. A little recognition is nice. Yeah.

1:13:52 Adam David, what's that?

1:13:54 Caller I had the same problem. I mean, I get embarrassed about it because people talk about it so much. And a lot of the girls that I know and have actually gotten a chance with, they turned me down once they found out how big it actually was.

1:14:09 Tom Arnold How big is it? How big is it?

1:14:13 Caller It's about eight inches long.

1:14:15 Tom Arnold I've seen bigger. Weimers was bigger.

1:14:18 Adam Weimers laughing his ass off right now. Yeah. Yeah, so it's about eight inches long. It's got some girth, though, I'd imagine, right?

1:14:26 Caller Yeah, it's about six inches around.

1:14:28 Adam I see. A little can of corn. Well, six inches like if you took a tape and...

1:14:32 Tom Arnold That's pretty big, though, six inches.

1:14:33 That's a damn lie and you know it.

1:14:36 Adam We got to get cloth tape in here.

1:14:37 Tom Arnold I got the one. I'll bring the one from home next time next to my bed.

1:14:39 Adam Bring the dry side. David? Yeah, so what do you want us to do?

1:14:45 Caller I was wondering how I could get around that problem or...

1:14:49 Adam Well, listen, first off, don't you get a certain amount of business just from the curiosity seekers, certain amount of ladies who just want to see you?

1:14:58 Caller Yeah, but once I show them, they're like, no, never mind, no, that hurts, you know.

1:15:03 Tom Arnold Maybe it's what it's connected to that's the problem.

1:15:06 Adam That could, it could be the engine.

1:15:07 Tom Arnold That's probably the excuse.

1:15:08 Drew Are you still in high school?

1:15:10 Yeah, I'm a senior.

1:15:11 Adam Okay, and all bets are off. And listen, David, they don't give you any oral sex?

1:15:17 No.

1:15:17 Adam No.

1:15:18 Well, someday.

1:15:19 Adam So, okay, just a sprinkling of oral sex?

1:15:21 Drew He's 18, he's fine.

1:15:22 Tom Arnold Yeah, he's fine.

1:15:23 Adam Yeah, so who cares? This is not a problem. Drew, why do we even talk to him?

1:15:29 Drew I just like to upset you.

1:15:30 Adam Thank you. It worked. Ronda, you're 22.

1:15:32 Caller Hi.

1:15:33 Adam What's up?

1:15:34 Caller I want to know, is there a way that I can learn to deep throat?

1:15:38 Adam Wow. Where did you pick the theme today?

1:15:41 Caller No, honestly, I would like to surprise my fiance on our wedding night.

1:15:46 Adam By vomiting on his belly?

1:15:47 Caller Well, that's the thing.

1:15:48 Caller I don't want to.

1:15:49 Tom Arnold There's a woman in LA that goes around, a lot of my fancy friends, they have these little, all the wives get together and she teaches them things like that.

1:15:56 Adam What is her name?

1:15:57 Tom Arnold I don't know about this. You should have her on the show. I can find out for you.

1:16:00 Adam Yeah, I'd like to talk to her. Well, does she bring like-

1:16:03 Tom Arnold Steve Tisch can give you her name. Do you know Steve?

1:16:05 Adam No, but John Tisch couldn't.

1:16:07 Tom Arnold No, John Tisch couldn't.

1:16:09 Adam Yeah, he could. Does she bring along vibrators and stuff like that? His little meetings?

1:16:15 Tom Arnold Yeah, it's real formal, but it's really-

1:16:17 Adam I'd love to crash one of those things. Just walk in the middle of 30 women, they're all performing on a plastic dildo, and just throw myself on the table in front of them.

1:16:27 Drew What was that?

1:16:28 Adam Yes.

1:16:29 Drew What is that? Is that deep throw thing that important to guys?

1:16:31 Adam No. No. As a matter of fact, to me, it's a little disheartening because I don't like to see my penis and belly in one swoop. Right. Here's what I'd like for a change. First off, I've always wanted Bernadette Peters to go down on me because she has that little goldfish mouth. I want to see a woman struggle. I want to see a woman get halfway down the penis and go, that's it, baby. It's poking out of my ass, I can't take anymore.

1:16:55 Tom Arnold If you want to do something special on your wedding night, have you ever licked this butt? Actually I have. Okay, because that's nice. I was thrilled. Yeah, that's always thrilling. It's always a surprise. It's always nice. You might want to give a little heads up for some, you know, take a bath, shower. But it's really a nice thing and just do your best and lots of saliva. It's all going to be good. You know, I had a problem.

1:17:16 Caller No, that's not the problem. I just want to know, is it possible? He's bigger than average at something that he doesn't think is possible.

1:17:24 Tom Arnold Let me just say this. I used to, I had a vocal cord that's paralyzed. So I used to have to have it. They put a thing down my nose, down my throat, a camera every time I went to the hospital to inject collagen in my throat. And I'll tell you, it made me choke at first. But I'll tell you, I got used to it. So I think the thing is, you've got to know, maybe he has some buddies you could practice with before the wedding.

1:17:40 Adam Yeah, oh yeah, good call.

1:17:41 Tom Arnold That's it. Yeah. What about that?

1:17:44 Adam I mean, what about that? And that's interesting because what you're trying to do is do away with the gag reflex. I do agree with Tom, which is nothing says I love you like that tongue in your ass.

1:17:54 Tom Arnold Then you really have to go in, just around the area, because I'll do it. You know, I always set the example.

1:17:59 Adam It's like you're saying this marriage is forever when that tongue gets in there. That's number one. And number two, that don't take any training at all. That takes as much training as bungee jumping. You know what I mean? That's just go for it.

1:18:10 Tom Arnold Yeah.

1:18:11 Adam Yeah, anyone could do it. So you don't have to be a bean of his forward to pull that one out.

1:18:15 Tom Arnold It's nice that she's thinking about these things.

1:18:17 Adam Yeah. Rhonda, why don't you, Drew, one can work on the gag reflex. Can one? I mean, Tom said.

1:18:25 Tom Arnold I worked out mine.

1:18:26 Adam Had the camera put down there. And by the way, could he probably use that when you're in prison?

1:18:30 Tom Arnold Exactly. Exactly.

1:18:32 Adam What about taking something like a carrot, holding one end of it and just sort of getting used to getting it down there? Do you know what I'm saying?

1:18:42 Drew I think you're going to vomit for a while.

1:18:44 Adam But what about, but couldn't one?

1:18:46 Drew I guess one could. They should sort of do that.

1:18:49 Tom Arnold They should teach that in school.

1:18:51 Adam How do you know though? You know, like I put my finger down my throat to vomit a few times.

1:18:55 Tom Arnold You can't do it.

1:18:56 Adam Several hundred times. How do I know, how does my mouth know that my finger's in there? I don't make contact with anything. You know what I'm saying?

1:19:03 Drew Oh, you usually have to make contact.

1:19:04 Tom Arnold I touch the thing in the back.

1:19:05 Adam Oh, you do.

1:19:06 Tom Arnold What is that thing called, Drew? The thing you had to take down?

1:19:08 Adam Uvula.

1:19:08 Tom Arnold Uvula, yeah. I almost had mine removed so I could quit making noises at night.

1:19:12 Drew Oh yeah, the uvula paloplasty because you snore.

1:19:14 Tom Arnold But it turns out it wasn't snoring, I was moaning. The doctor said I needed to be on some sort of antipsychotic because I was having, I taped myself and I was going, oh, oh, oh.

1:19:24 Drew And you were over the weight, too.

1:19:25 Tom Arnold Yeah, the weight is a big thing on snoring.

1:19:28 Adam I could imagine 300 pounds worth of cigar smell rolling over.

1:19:33 Tom Arnold Are you talking about me or my wife?

1:19:37 Adam Oh man, you're lucky you live in a big house. I'm moaning in the middle of the night. Justin, Justin, you're 17. What's up?

1:19:48 Caller Well, I've been going out with my girlfriend for, actually I said a month to the secretary or whoever that was, but now I think that it's been about a month and a half.

1:19:58 Tom Arnold I see. That's a difference.

1:19:59 Adam Yep, night and day.

1:20:00 Caller And I've known her for a while and we're both very in love with each other, you know, we went through a lot together.

1:20:07 Caller Sure.

1:20:08 Tom Arnold A month and a half, the whole playoffs, and now the World Series coming up.

1:20:12 Adam Yeah, you guys have really been through a lot.

1:20:14 Caller Well, we haven't had sex or anything, but she's kind of pressuring me about it, you know.

1:20:20 Adam Sure, she don't want to have it. No, she wants to have sex.

1:20:25 Caller Yeah.

1:20:25 Adam What do you mean you've been through a lot in six weeks?

1:20:28 Caller No, I'm like, no, we've been through a lot.

1:20:30 Adam She had her braces taken off. You got to blow out this big wheel. They've really been through, they've been to hell and back.

1:20:35 Caller That's tough.

1:20:37 Caller Well, we've been going through this drug treatment program.

1:20:43 Adam What's the drug? What's the drug?

1:20:47 Caller Marijuana, LSD.

1:20:49 Drew All right. It's a good time not to do something like have sex, because that's for her. The reason she's pressuring so hard is she is starting to have feelings now that she's off drugs and she needs an escape.

1:20:59 Caller Yeah.

1:20:59 Adam And you're it. That'd be a good bumper sticker for you, by the way, Drew. It's a good time not to have sex.

1:21:06 Drew Yeah. That's true though.

1:21:06 Adam I could see you at the back of your car.

1:21:08 Tom Arnold You say you're supposed to wait a year.

1:21:09 Drew Yeah. Absolutely. Because this is an opportunity to have those feelings that you've been modifying or coping with with drugs. Right. Your body, your brain is going to start driving you to use those same thrill mechanisms to avoid those feelings, and now is the time not to do those things and let the feelings come. All right.

1:21:29 Adam So everything's working out. Take it slow. That's what you're saying.

1:21:33 Drew He's right. Your instincts are right, Justin. Focus on your recovery.

1:21:36 Adam Tammy?

1:21:37 Hello?

1:21:37 Adam You're 26.

1:21:38 Caller Yes.

1:21:39 Adam What's up?

1:21:41 Caller I was wondering if there's any indication if you've ever been flipped like a roofie in your drink. I went to my 10-year reunion last week.

1:21:49 Adam That's a good call.

1:21:51 Drew Bring your roofies with you?

1:21:52 Adam Yeah. I got a 20-year coming up. I got a mental note.

1:21:54 Tom Arnold Give your roofies.

1:21:56 Adam Well, I got some unfinished business.

1:21:59 Caller To Midwestern town. I've been there since I graduated. And these are country cocktails. They're the size of super slurpee. These drinks I had, and they're like $3. I had more probably than I usually have to drink.

1:22:10 Drew And what happened?

1:22:11 Caller Well, to make a long story short, I was trying to avoid the married guy, and ended up latching to an old friend of mine from years and years back. And he took me to a place where I could go to sleep for the night, and I was totally coherent going to bed. And I remember like taking my boots off and climbing to bed fully clothed. And the next morning when I woke up to use the restroom, my pants were on backwards. And I, at no point in the evening, I mean, even though I had several drinks and I was thoroughly drunk and having a good time, I did not remove my clothes at all.

1:22:45 Drew Well, maybe you just blacked out from the alcohol.

1:22:47 Caller No, I didn't black out.

1:22:49 Adam Pants on backwards. See, that's why I always tag them when I do my roofie.

1:22:53 Tom Arnold It's best not to get thoroughly drunk, though. Yeah, in general.

1:22:56 Drew What do you mean you didn't black out? You did black out.

1:22:58 Caller Well, no, I don't think I blacked out because I was aware of where we were going.

1:23:03 Drew Yeah, but then you suddenly don't remember.

1:23:06 Adam No, black out doesn't mean pass out.

1:23:07 Drew Black out means you don't remember what you did.

1:23:10 Caller So that's why I looked up on the Internet about roofies and I was wondering.

1:23:13 Drew Tammy?

1:23:14 Caller Is that a possibility?

1:23:15 Drew Yes. Black out from alcohol is the same thing.

1:23:17 Adam Well, I think you should always err on the side of rape. Just assume you're rape. But Tammy? Yes. Okay. Listen, this is a ridiculous question. We get it from time to time, which is I had a full night of hard drinking. I think someone drugged me. Yeah. I don't understand that. Especially as a woman because women get crazy. They're like Indians when they get drunk. They go nuts. That's why guys try to get them drunk.

1:23:43 Caller I understand what you're saying, but I know my sexual history and my drinking patterns. I've never ever had sex without being aware of it.

1:23:49 Drew Maybe.

1:23:49 Tom Arnold You know what? There's always the first time. I'll tell you that.

1:23:51 Drew But blackouts are blackouts and it's a progressive disease. Is there alcohols in your family? No. Well, you still might have just actually blacked out. But yes, the GHB and roofies can make you black out more easily.

1:24:01 Adam Let me ask you a few questions with this roofie. Let's just say you were slip the roofie. I'm not a pharmacist, but if you had a roofie, are you gone? Are you like one of the sows that Tom murdered? The millions of sows that Tom murdered?

1:24:22 Drew Yeah, you're pretty much out of it.

1:24:23 Caller That's what I'm not sure about from the information I got.

1:24:25 Adam Someone pulling your pants down and swiping them around and putting them back on again and having sex with you. You have zero recollection of it. You don't know you're just a corpse.

1:24:34 Drew Right.

1:24:34 Adam Drew, give me some of these roofies.

1:24:36 Tom Arnold Did you talk to the guy the next day?

1:24:38 Caller I'm worried to call back because it's like an hour away. I haven't been back for 10 years. That was the first time I even made an appearance. I hate to call and say, look, did anything happen? When I, like I said, I know my sexual history and my drinking habits and I've never ever had sex and I've been aware.

1:24:50 Adam Okay. But don't you think, wouldn't you know, and I'll put this out to most women. I don't know. I'm not a woman. But if you had sex or someone had had violated you, do you think you would know the next morning?

1:25:03 Caller That's just it. I hadn't had sex since like for four months before. And I didn't feel anything any different.

1:25:09 Tom Arnold I guess you don't think that maybe you just tried your pants on.

1:25:12 Adam So you're kind of making my point then, right?

1:25:15 Caller That's just it. I'm not sure.

1:25:16 Adam Well, you keep saying that's just it. But what I'm saying to you is, is if somebody drugged you and violated you, you would know about it, right? That's just it. That's just it. You don't know. So I assume. Don't you assume you didn't have sex?

1:25:33 Caller Yes, I assume that I did. How did my pants get on backwards?

1:25:36 Adam Well, you drank like a fish and you passed out in your clothes. So of course you were loaded. You went to bed in your pants.

1:25:45 Caller Intentionally, I remember going to bed.

1:25:48 Adam Okay. But the point is, is you could have got up in the middle of the night to take a dump and not remembered it and then pulled your pants on sideways. You know what I'm saying?

1:25:57 Tom Arnold Just look at this as a time when you were not protecting yourself very well. You put yourself in an unsafe situation. You didn't get raped, but something weird happened with your pants, and now you aren't going to put yourself in that position anymore. You're going to protect yourself better.

1:26:10 Drew No. Well, the GHB is tasteless, odorless, and you can go out with that very easily. You can have seizures and die.

1:26:16 Adam This is a-

1:26:17 Drew Hypnol is also something that's hard to detect.

1:26:19 Adam All I'm saying is, is if you got a choice between thinking you're walking around as someone who's been raped and someone who hasn't been raped and it's flip a coin, I'm saying go with not rape.

1:26:29 Tom Arnold Right.

1:26:29 Adam Why not? Why not just live that life? I remember one time I forget really loaded at a bachelor party. I got up at five in the morning to take a leak with the cotton mouth and the whole thing. I stood over the toilet, I flicked the line out, I was wearing nothing but my underpants. I dropped my underpants, I get to Johnson, I take a leak, and a dollar bill comically sprung out of the underpants because it got caught on the elastic, popped out and landed in the toilet. I just stood there looking at a dollar floating in the toilet. I thought, wow, that was a good party. You know it's a good party when you go to bed with money in your underpants. It's like out of a like a frat movie. All right. Drew, I'm telling you, you could give me a roofie and I would not go down. I would know what was going on.

1:27:15 Drew We can give you enough, there's no doubt.

1:27:17 Tom Arnold Let's do that next time on the show.

1:27:18 Adam A little experiment, showed me better.

1:27:20 Drew Thomas practices acting.

1:27:22 Tom Arnold Exactly. It wouldn't be rape then really if he was rolling.

1:27:27 Adam Not if a camera was rolling.

1:27:28 Tom Arnold It was rolling.

1:27:29 Adam All right. We'll be back.

1:27:32 Loveline, we'll be right back.

1:28:10 Adam Hey, it's Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Tom Arnold is our guest tonight. He's just explaining the decade of the 70s to Tom.

1:28:18 Tom Arnold Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

1:28:21 Adam Tom and Drew are, we guys about the same age, right?

1:28:24 Tom Arnold I'm 77. I graduated from Atomwahe.

1:28:26 Drew I'm 76.

1:28:28 Adam What was the name of your high?

1:28:29 Tom Arnold Atomwahe. That's the town. The town, Atomwahe, land of rippling waters.

1:28:36 Adam Didn't the hams bear get arrested there or something? He did.

1:28:40 From the land of clear blue waters, comes a beer that's fresh from blue, hams bear refreshment.

1:28:48 Tom Arnold I actually know the person who wrote that.

1:28:50 Adam Oh, really?

1:28:50 Tom Arnold Person named Peterson up in Minneapolis.

1:28:53 Adam Let me ask you something. Is there only one Indian song that, hey, hey, there must be other one.

1:28:59 Tom Arnold There's Colligia. Colligia was a young, young Indian.

1:29:02 Caller I didn't have that out.

1:29:04 Tom Arnold Charlie Pryde used to sing that.

1:29:06 Adam Oh, I tell you, our audience loves that Charlie Pryde. They love Charlie Rich and they love Charlie Pryde. Are those guys alive?

1:29:14 Tom Arnold Yeah. I love Charlie Pryde. They're both alive. Jay.

1:29:17 Adam Year 22, what's up? Who do you like better, Charlie Rich or Charlie Pryde?

1:29:24 I don't know either of them.

1:29:25 Tom Arnold Oh, my God.

1:29:27 Adam What's up?

1:29:27 Drew Charlie Parker.

1:29:30 Well, for the past couple years, I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts. I've even about two times tried committing suicide. And I kind of know where it's basically coming from. I've been taking medication for seizures since I was about two or three years old.

1:29:55 Drew And that's making you depressed?

1:30:01 I don't know if it's just the medication or if it's just everything else that's going around.

1:30:05 Drew Like what?

1:30:10 Well, about almost a year ago, I think what really made me depressed is my ex-girlfriend and my son were going up to Eureka. And she was... she had him in the front seat without a baby seat.

1:30:30 Caller Oh my god.

1:30:31 He was only two and a half years old. And she was driving drunk. She was driving one of those piece of crap Suzuki sidekicks, one of those that tumble very easy. And she got a little too wasted when she was driving. And she basically turned the corner too tight and went over the edge and tumbled. Well, when I heard about this, I heard that basically my son died instantly. His neck snapped. She died about two weeks later without knowing what happened to her son.

1:31:10 Tom Arnold All right.

1:31:11 Adam Well, so you have something to be depressed about.

1:31:13 Tom Arnold Definitely.

1:31:15 Adam But, and this happened how long ago?

1:31:18 Caller It happened about almost a year ago or so.

1:31:20 Drew Are you doing drugs yourself?

1:31:24 Caller Well, I used to be pretty much almost an addict.

1:31:30 Drew Of what?

1:31:31 Caller Of marijuana, heroin.

1:31:33 Adam Are you doing drugs now?

1:31:35 Drew No such thing as almost a heroin addict.

1:31:40 Caller Probably a joint maybe once in a while. I mean, that's like once a month or something like that.

1:31:44 Adam Well, listen, are you doing drugs now?

1:31:46 Drew No.

1:31:47 Caller Now? I'm working right now. All right.

1:31:50 Adam Well, you can work and do drugs.

1:31:53 Drew Untreated drug addicts sometimes get profoundly depressed just by itself.

1:31:57 Adam So what should he do?

1:31:59 Drew There's multiple solutions here that he could pursue. One is he could talk to the people that are prescribing his seizure medications, make sure he gets appropriate medication management and supervision for this incredible morning and depression he's having, which is understandable. But I think a perhaps even more effective and certainly a less costly thing, and perhaps something that he would find less resistance to pursuing, would be getting in the fellowship, getting in the program. There would be people that he could sit and talk with and share with his students.

1:32:29 Tom Arnold 12-step meetings.

1:32:30 Drew And there would be a tremendous amount of people.

1:32:31 Tom Arnold And then it would have things in common.

1:32:33 Adam Oh yes.

1:32:33 Tom Arnold Similar stories.

1:32:35 Drew Yeah, but there are tons and tons of consequences of drug use.

1:32:37 Tom Arnold What do you have to live for?

1:32:39 Adam That's a good question. Jay, what do you have to live for?

1:32:45 Caller I've been asking myself that question for the past couple years, but lately I've been asking them a lot more.

1:32:53 Tom Arnold Well what's the answer? Do you have family? Do you have friends?

1:32:57 Caller Yeah, I have family. I have two brothers and a sister, both of my parents. I just got some news about a couple of hours ago that I just have a brand new newborn baby nephew. Well there you go.

1:33:12 Adam Hey man, listen Jay, let me say something. I often thought about my own life and I really should have killed myself at least a hundred times before the age of thirty. Sometimes life takes a little while to get going. When I was twenty-two, I should have killed myself too. Tom, you probably had.

1:33:31 Tom Arnold Definitely. I tried.

1:33:32 Adam Multi-multi-opportunities to kill yourself. No one would have blamed you.

1:33:36 Tom Arnold I should have.

1:33:37 Adam People are smart guys. Best movie made.

1:33:39 Tom Arnold Right.

1:33:39 Adam Exactly. I thought it was an a-hole until this.

1:33:42 Tom Arnold Exactly.

1:33:42 Adam But Jay, I'd kill myself if I thought about killing myself now. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, you will get into a place one day, and I'm not going to say it's going to be tomorrow, and it may not even be next year, but time passes quickly, and you'll look back and you'll go, oh, thank God I didn't do it, because I'm in love with a woman, I have a son, I have a life. You really will.

1:34:05 Tom Arnold You accomplish things.

1:34:05 Adam You just got to trust me on this. It's not going to be easy, but it's a coward's way out to kill yourself, and you have to just keep moving.

1:34:14 Drew And I'll tell you what, some connection with people who are unconditionally available to you would do you some tremendous amount of good.

1:34:21 Adam You know what's a good Charlie Rich song? Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world?

1:34:30 Tom Arnold And if you did, was she crying?

1:34:34 Crying.

1:34:36 Adam It was great because he'd start talking in it, and hey, I know I was singing before, but seriously, this bitch screwed me. I want to talk to her.

1:34:45 Tom Arnold Seriously, man. This is helping this guy?

1:34:48 Adam No, no.

1:34:49 Tom Arnold But you're right though. I mean, you're right. You got to find stuff. You got to sit in every day at night and find stuff to go on. Right. You know, and it's tough, but then you got to remember, well, what are your parents going to feel like if you kill yourself? Who's going to take care of that? You just got to live. It sucks.

1:35:06 Adam That's true. Laurie, you're 22.

1:35:09 Tom Arnold Hi.

1:35:09 I have herpes and I've had it for three years. And I've been dating a new person now for about a month, and we haven't had sex or anything. And so I'm not really sure how to bring it up. And also I wanted to know statistically what his chances of getting it would be.

1:35:24 Drew It's impossible to tell. He is at risk. He might get it even if you use a condom. He would definitely get it if you were having an outbreak. But for the most part, it can be controlled. The risk can be minimized by using a condom. But guys, do you think that would stop a guy?

1:35:38 Tom Arnold Here's what you say to a guy. You say, you know what, I want to be honest with you. Because if you keep not having sex with him, he's going to think, what is the problem? You guys are getting close. Unless I've been honest with you one time, I wasn't careful and something happened. And then you tell him. If he really cares about you, he'll still say, well, what do we do? We'll be careful. You wear a condom.

1:36:00 Adam And then you take that medication, the one where the chicks kickboxing.

1:36:05 Tom Arnold Yeah, I like that.

1:36:07 I never have any outbreaks.

1:36:08 Adam That's not a problem. You're probably fine. Listen, I agree with Tom, except for tell him you got it from a pommel horse in your junior high.

1:36:15 Caller Okay.

1:36:16 Drew We can't do it. We're out of time. We're out.

1:36:18 Adam Sorry. Sorry, Laurie.

1:36:19 Drew The satellite is going to leave us.

1:36:20 Adam Good luck with the happy's. We'll be back.

1:36:22 Hello. This is your radio. Love Line will be right back.

1:36:59 Adam All right, well, another fabulous show in the can. I want to thank Tom Arnold for coming in here.

1:37:04 Drew And being one of our best guests always.

1:37:06 Adam Really is. It's fun.

1:37:07 Tom Arnold It goes by quick.

1:37:09 Adam Yeah. Don't don't be a stranger.

1:37:11 Tom Arnold Anytime.

1:37:11 Adam It's been too long. So next time you got to plug something, come on by. Animal Factory is the name of the movie. Limited release coming out this Friday. All-star cast. Don't miss it. Until next time, this Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Clear tint glasses, pants that are laced up in the front and back. Still didn't get an ounce of tail. So let that be a lesson to you. Until next time, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying, Mahalo.

1:37:37 Drew Good night.

1:37:38 Adam Well now.

1:37:39 This has been Loveline. The stuff expressed on Loveline is not necessarily the stuff of the staff, management, sponsors or anyone else. Including Westwood One Entertainment, Loveline is produced by Ann Wilkins and Gold. Now, please enjoy these birds.

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Tuesday, October 17, 2000