Episode 1000754887003

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Loveline, Coast to Coast.

1:12 Adam Hey, it's Loveline.

1:13 Voiceover I'm Dr. Drew. The phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. It is Loveline, and tonight, I'm pleased to introduce Riki Rachtman, my friend, my former co-host. Of this show, you know him from Headbanger's Ball from Time's Gone By.

1:27 Riki Rachtman I'm a whatever happened to. I'm like a step away.

1:30 Drew No, and you know him now from Thunderbox, where he hosts the UPN show Thunderbox. And thankfully, he, I believe, had Adam Corolla murdered tonight, right? So you could come and host the show.

1:39 Riki Rachtman Let's get a little slicing of the gas line. Yeah, Adam, what I understand is that it's Adam's birthday tonight. Shh, shh, shh. Oh, I shouldn't say that?

1:47 Drew Go ahead, yeah.

1:47 Riki Rachtman Well, you got to give me like the memo. It's like, okay, don't say.

1:50 Drew Go ahead.

1:51 Riki Rachtman Go, go, go. And for people that don't know, like a lot of people remember me from some of the things I'm doing now or what I did do, but I hosted this show for years.

2:01 Drew We lived through some stuff together.

2:02 Riki Rachtman Yes, we did. But we hosted Surge of My Heart. That was crazy.

2:06 Drew Earthquake, remember that?

2:07 Riki Rachtman Yes, we did the show the night of the big earthquake.

2:10 Drew We had to climb the building.

2:12 Riki Rachtman The elevator, and that was fun. And then it was Adam and Riki and Dr. Drew for a while. And then they said, hey, you know, you could clean the bathrooms here. And then it was Adam and Dr. Drew for a while. And then obviously things didn't go good for them because they did TV shows and tours. And I think there's a Loveline breakfast cereal now. And we know my story. But then I show up and I'm going to be the guest on the show tonight. And I'm sitting there and and the producer is on the phone and Adam called in late. And I was just so bummed out because I like Adam when I was really bummed out that he's showing up late tonight. It just means more time for me to talk.

2:50 Drew So what's happening now? What are you doing?

2:52 Riki Rachtman Right now, I am hosting and actually directing for the first time. There's a show called Thunderbox, which is heavyweight boxing. It's not wrestling because I also in my resume, I worked for World Championship Wrestling for about three years, which is now owned by the WWF. I kill businesses. But when I went from WCW into Thunderbox, which is a show in Los Angeles, it's on K-Cal Channel 9. And it's syndicated nationally. It's on everywhere. And it's heavyweight boxing, but we have girls like hot chicks that act as like the managers. And I got to be honest, the girls on Thunderbox are better looking than the girls in WWF for anything else. And they act as the managers and then we have boxing and...

3:34 Drew It's sort of the absolute, the sort of the male, pinnacle of male...

3:38 Riki Rachtman Well, you know what? The thing that's awesome about it is, you know, I've done music stuff and rock and roll stuff and sex stuff here on Loveline my whole life, but I never had the opportunity to do sports. And I'm a huge boxing fan and to be ringside for heavyweight boxing. I mean, we watch heavyweight boxing on TV, but when you see somebody get hit and their eyes like roll back and they're right in front of you, it's hardcore. I mean, I know, you know, when I did this show, we got to meet De La Hoya and we got to see De La Hoya fight several times, but when you watch heavyweight boxers, I mean, I did a witherspoon fight and it was just, it was pretty heavy.

4:15 Drew Do you think that, you know how men are sort of being, maleness has almost become a disease state these days? You know, it's like uncool to be a male, you're supposed to be in touch with your feminine side.

4:24 Riki Rachtman I wasn't aware of that. But, That it's uncool to be a guy?

4:26 Drew That's sort of what's happening.

4:27 Riki Rachtman So it's cool to be a girl.

4:29 Drew Well it's cool to sort of be in touch with your feminine side and to sort of suppress them.

4:34 Riki Rachtman I really wasn't aware of that, Drew.

4:35 Drew I think the things like the Man Show and this kind of thing, the Thunderbox, is sort of a reaction to that. Men still have got to express themselves in those aggressive ways.

4:44 Riki Rachtman I don't know if it's... Oh I didn't even get a half an hour. Look at you, Adam. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, I got to just say one thing. First of all, very nice to see you, Adam.

4:53 Drew Are you playing a rabbi?

4:54 Riki Rachtman Wait, wait, wait. Let me just tell you, okay? The last time I was on this show, which was probably a couple years ago, I think I was still with WCW, Dr. Drew looked like a doctor, looked very, very nice, and Adam looks like, as you know, Adam Carolla. Let me just explain to everybody what it looks like right now. Dr. Drew is wearing like a blue t-shirt and some sweatpants and looking not much like Dr. Drew, and Adam Carolla walks in in a suit and tie, looking very dapper.

5:21 Adam Rachtman is all part of the new Adam. It's a renaissance.

5:26 Riki Rachtman What happened? Something happened. There's a little Adam, a little Drew in each.

5:30 Adam I was playing a detective in a movie that was filming down the street. And we were just finished up. I didn't even change my wardrobe.

5:37 Drew Detective slash rabbi?

5:39 Adam Listen, jackass, is this turning into a roast? I thought this was a celebration of an old friend.

5:45 Riki Rachtman This is what happens. I leave, he's playing detectives in movies, and I'm getting questioned by detectives. This is where my life has gone in the past year.

5:54 Adam Well you should have kissed Drew's ass. That's what I do. Oh man.

5:59 Riki Rachtman That's what I did wrong.

6:01 Adam Did we talk about Thunderbox? Yes.

6:03 Riki Rachtman We did. Well Adam actually watches Thunderbox.

6:05 Adam Oh yes. Yes. I do watch it.

6:06 Drew Do you watch the boxing or the check?

6:08 Riki Rachtman Adam is, now correct me if I'm wrong, sorry to interrupt, but Adam is a boxer. Like Adam knows boxing and was a boxer, correct?

6:14 Adam Yeah. I watch it and I enjoy it. And it's all heavyweights, right?

6:19 Riki Rachtman All heavyweights.

6:20 Adam And there's good action going on in that ring. Ricky's great on the show. Janine, his ex, am I right to say ex?

6:29 Riki Rachtman Today, yes.

6:30 Adam He's also on that show. And I was wondering, as I was watching, because I hadn't seen her in previous episodes, did you get her on that show too, Care?

6:39 Riki Rachtman Well, what happened was, when I got the job as the host of the show, we started getting all these girls acting as managers. And you got to admit, the girls that are the managers on Thunderbox are really great looking women.

6:52 Adam Absolutely.

6:53 Riki Rachtman And they're cool. And I suggested to the producer, I'm like, you know what? I go, you know, it was public knowledge that I had an off-on-again relationship with Janine. And I said, she should be on this show.

7:03 Drew Would you want to define who Janine is?

7:05 Riki Rachtman She was my girlfriend for like four years, and she used to do adult films, and she's the girl that's on the Blink 182 album cover.

7:12 Adam Right. Super hot blonde.

7:14 Riki Rachtman She's a nice girl.

7:15 Adam Yeah.

7:16 Riki Rachtman We just, we just...

7:18 Adam But now you're working with your...

7:21 Riki Rachtman Well, this is the deal. So doing one of our nice Riki Janine things, I suggested her do the show. Which worked out really, really good. And she does a great job until I also got booked as director on the show. Oh my God. And when we were not friends, I was in there directing, which is the first time directing. I love directing. And I was directing a scene with Janine. And I was like, you know, why don't you try doing it? And she just turned her back on me. And they just said, Riki, you got to go home.

7:49 Drew So you got to go home. Not Janine, you got to go home.

7:53 Riki Rachtman No, I think people would rather look at her than me. So I had to go sit in the other room. And I couldn't, because she couldn't.

8:00 Adam What you want is stating heavyweight Ed Mahone.

8:02 Drew I see.

8:03 Riki Rachtman Probably.

8:04 Drew Well, would you like to know what I was saying? That do you think that the sort of the fact that maleness is being sort of repressed these days, you know, and that the man show and Thunderbox and things like that are sort of reaction to men being kind of pathologized?

8:16 Adam You know, I don't know. I think people have always liked TNA and people have always liked seeing people get the crap built, beat out of them, and if you put it in the same show, people are going to watch it.

8:26 Riki Rachtman What Drew is saying, and I know Adam now thinks Adam's going to probably agree with me, and Drew's going, well, it just seems like it's more cool these days to get in touch with your feminine side. I wasn't aware of that.

8:36 Drew I don't know about cool. You know what I'm talking about.

8:38 Adam No, I don't. Let's take some calls.

8:40 Drew You know what I'm talking about.

8:41 Adam No, I really don't. But hey, listen, I've been up since 6.30 this morning. I'm having trouble acclimating.

8:46 Drew Alex, 14.

8:47 Adam I'm sitting in the wrong chair, Drew. You know, it always screws me up. Do I want to move?

8:51 Drew Ten more minutes.

8:51 Adam No, you're in the right chair.

8:53 Drew I'm wearing the wrong clothes and so are you.

8:54 Adam Right.

8:55 Drew Alex?

8:56 Adam Yeah.

8:56 Drew Hey, what's going on? You're on Loveline.

8:59 Right.

9:01 Drew Alex?

9:02 Yeah.

9:02 Drew You care to ask? Yeah, forget it. I think it's no better to start with a jackpot.

9:06 Riki Rachtman The show's kicking off right now.

9:08 Adam Yeah, listen, be glad you got out when you did.

9:11 Drew Whitney, 22. Whitney?

9:12 Caller Yeah?

9:13 Drew Hey, what's going on?

9:14 Caller We were wondering about the long-term effects of opium.

9:18 Adam We never had that one, have we?

9:19 Drew Yeah, not phrased in that way. I'll let Riki talk about it in a second. Riki, can we talk about your...

9:25 Riki Rachtman No, opium would be a drug I haven't done yet, Drew.

9:27 Drew But you're a recovering person.

9:29 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

9:29 Drew Okay. And opium, opiates, of which opium is obviously one, actually does not harm anything. If you smoke it anyway, it's the routes of administration that tend to be destructive for the opiates. The problem with the opiates is they cause the most fierce, destructive, severe forms of addiction known. So if you are using opium, you have by definition profound addiction. And it was going to require a long, long course of treatment before it's going to come under control.

9:57 Adam What are you using, Whitney?

9:59 Caller What kind?

9:59 Yeah, no.

10:01 Caller It's black tar opium. I don't know. We smoke it with weed.

10:05 Riki Rachtman I heard black tar heroin, but I didn't know there's black tar opium.

10:08 Drew You mean heroin, right?

10:10 Caller No. They called it opium.

10:11 Drew Okay. Well, heroin and opium are very close relatives, but...

10:14 Adam And so you're smoking it?

10:15 Caller Yes.

10:15 Drew Yeah. So that is profound addiction, and that's going to need an extensive course of treatment.

10:20 Adam Well, how long have you been doing it?

10:22 Caller We did it for maybe a month straight, and then we quit for a month, and we did it again, but just once.

10:31 Drew You will be preoccupied with it. It will come back. It will get worse each time, and unless you do something about this, this is not going to stop.

10:37 Adam Who's we?

10:39 Caller Me and my friend.

10:40 Adam All right. Well, you want to stop?

10:42 Caller What? Yeah.

10:43 Adam All right. Well, how about it?

10:45 Drew Go to NA.

10:46 Caller Okay.

10:47 Drew That's the chance.

10:47 Riki Rachtman You sound like you're high right now. A little speed, maybe?

10:50 Caller No, I'm just very nervous.

10:51 Riki Rachtman Oh, that's okay.

10:53 Drew So, NA.?

10:55 Riki Rachtman You know what? This is your options. Keep on doing it and die or get clean. That's it.

11:01 Okay.

11:01 Riki Rachtman It's true.

11:02 Okay.

11:03 Drew I shouldn't quite see it yet.

11:04 All right, Winnie.

11:05 Adam Good times.

11:06 Riki Rachtman Ricky, you don't know but...

11:07 Adam The world is your oyster. I mean, because that's all the world is. I end each call with good times.

11:13 Riki Rachtman Good times, okay.

11:13 Adam Yeah, because we get a lot of people that are dying, that are strung out, that are amputees.

11:18 Riki Rachtman Well, things have changed, haven't they?

11:20 Adam Yeah. So, we end with these good times.

11:22 Drew Leo, 17.

11:23 Yeah, hi. A good friend of mine, basically, she just started having sex, like, I don't know, a month ago, for the first time, and we've been friends for a while now, and another friend of mine, he's the first guy that she's had sex with, and this guy is just using her, and she knows it, and he told her that he wants no relationship with her outside of the sex. And, like, we're cool and all, but, like, I know I like her a lot, and, like, we kind of, like, had a thing for a little while, but I'm wondering, like, if I could have some advice on how to get her from that, like, you know, try to show her.

11:58 Riki Rachtman You guys need, like, some little, like, weebles or dolls and figurines so I can see who is who, because I'm completely lost.

12:03 Drew He's with who. A chalkboard, you know, just diagram it out.

12:06 Adam He's being played like a fiddle.

12:08 Drew He wants this girl he was with before.

12:11 Adam She's not interested.

12:12 Drew She's into bad guys. He's the nice guy.

12:14 Adam And it's never going to work.

12:15 Drew Hey, Leo, forget it. Forget it.

12:18 Adam No, listen, Napoleon could not strategize his way around this one. It's not going to work. And just listen to us, because we've all been there. We're all 17. We all like the girl. She liked our friend. She showed just enough interest in us to keep us moving along. But a year went by and we got nothing.

12:38 Riki Rachtman Or you're the one there when things aren't working right with the guy that you like. Oh, he doesn't... He's mad at me now, but I'll go back to you.

12:44 Well, I thought I would get my clues from her and stuff. Like, she'll be saying stuff, you know, that kind of leads me on in a way.

12:50 Drew Oh, yeah.

12:51 Adam His dick's not that big.

12:53 Riki Rachtman And watch what happens when all of a sudden you show interest in another girl, then she's really going to like you.

12:57 Drew Here are the clues. You're so nice, Leo.

13:00 Adam Yeah, I'm so glad I have you. You're like a brother to me.

13:02 Drew You're such a great friend. Thank you. That's what it is. Of course that's what it is.

13:05 Riki Rachtman Being a brother and a friend isn't fun. That sucks.

13:09 Drew Nor is it where you want to be. Be the boyfriend of somebody else.

13:12 Adam I know this sounds like I'm going to extremes, but I don't even like my own sister thinking of me as a brother. I've told her not to do that. I object so much to being thought of as a brother.

13:20 Drew Claudia, 21.

13:21 Yeah.

13:22 Drew Hey, what's up?

13:23 Riki Rachtman What's up?

13:24 Drew You tell us.

13:25 Well, you know, I was talking to my boyfriend last night and I actually called you guys last night, but you guys, I guess, are on vacation on Memorial.

13:33 Drew How dare you, Adam?

13:35 It's OK. I got some **** today, too, at work. I got some pretty nasty voicemails.

13:40 Drew Claudia, Claudia, the S word, you're on national radio?

13:44 I'm sorry?

13:44 Drew You're on national radio?

13:45 Riki Rachtman You're on Loveline with literally dozens of listeners across America. Watch your language.

13:50 Oh, did I?

13:52 Sorry.

13:52 Drew You're going to get some more of that tomorrow.

13:54 Don't worry.

13:55 OK, my question is, what is the big deal about Ariola's?

14:02 Adam Who's making a big deal over it?

14:04 I'm sorry?

14:05 Adam Who's making the big deal over it?

14:06 It's not a big deal. We were watching, I think we were watching Howard Stern and his boyfriend in the background. Something about it that Howard Stern said something about her Ariola's, and I think it was Bababoo. He said something like, they look like pizzas.

14:21 They look as big as pizzas.

14:22 Adam Listen, she's stoned. Hang up on her.

14:24 Drew Get the boyfriend on here. I'm not.

14:25 I'm really not. OK.

14:26 Adam No, but look, she starts off the show by giving us a long-winded explanation about how she called in last night, but we weren't here, then says the S word, then spends the next 10 minutes talking about Howard Stern.

14:40 Drew Claudia.

14:40 Adam Still has no question.

14:41 OK.

14:42 Riki Rachtman Perry ones are bad.

14:44 Drew There's anything to do with the breast men are interested in. OK.

14:47 But I mean, how come they're, what do the different sizes mean? I mean, why do they compare them?

14:54 Riki Rachtman Because people like different things. Certain ones are like little, certain ones are big, certain ones are inverted. I haven't seen that and they can like pop out like when a turkey is done. Isn't that true?

15:02 Adam Well, that's the nipple, not the areola.

15:04 Riki Rachtman Right.

15:05 Adam But listen, I like a big areola. I'm one of the few guys I know. Drew, you don't like a big areola, do you?

15:11 Drew Not especially, no.

15:13 Riki Rachtman I just don't like areolas.

15:14 Adam It's funny because you're a passionate, passionate man, yet you don't like large areolas.

15:18 Drew Funny haha?

15:19 Adam Funny peculiar. Nothing on this show is funny haha anymore.

15:23 Drew Tony, 24.

15:24 Caller There's nothing better than big pepperoni areolas, so I'll agree with you.

15:28 Adam Thank you.

15:29 Riki Rachtman Yeah, but we're talking about women.

15:31 Caller No kidding. And on that note, I just I really, really mean this. I called up to thank Ricky Rachtman first off for he got me into the certain type of music. I listen to everything from Zamp and Miles Davis, anything and all that. But the point is this, I just wanted to thank him for going away from mainstream in the late 80s, early 90s on MTV. And more importantly, I had a question for him. I was just wondering when you were on Headbanger's Ball and Kurt Cobain was in a ballgown.

16:00 Drew Yes, this has come up a number of times.

16:03 Caller Was that his idea or, I mean, obviously it looked, you know, with the glasses that he was on something and everyone knows he had drug addiction, but I actually still have that interview with him. And it seems that you handled it, you know, just perfect. I mean, whenever he would go off the topic, you would, you know, curtail him right back. But again, I'm just trying to thank you again, Ricky Mac. Thank you very much. I love Corolla with the Man Show and all that. And I hope you stay for the whole show tonight. I'm definitely going to listen. I'll hang up and listen. And trust me when I say this to everyone at Loveline and everyone listening. From what I've heard, my buddy met Ricky, I guess, at Harpo's in Detroit for Iron Man. I don't even know what it was, but he said that, you know, you were one of the nicest guys that he's ever met. So I guess-

16:43 Adam Best blowjob he's ever had.

16:45 Drew No, it's true, Tony.

16:47 Riki Rachtman Well, tell your friend, thank you. And the reason that his friend said that I was so nice is because I never been to Harpo's with somebody else. But about that, and another thing that, because I did Headbanger's Ball, and that left such an impact on people, and people are like, you know, when you were on in the 80s, I didn't even start the show to 1990. I was on from 1990 to 95, but-

17:03 Adam But the hair was from 85.

17:05 Riki Rachtman Yeah. Is it true, my friend?

17:08 Adam Before you finish the Cobain story, which I'm interested in hearing, this happens all the time. People don't realize that the first three years of the 90s were the end of the 80s.

17:21 Drew Yes. Yes.

17:22 Adam They look at the 90s as computers and short haircuts and nice wire rim frames on their glasses, and clean lines on their sports cars, and Macintosh portables. They don't realize 90, 91, 92, 93. That was the end of the 80s.

17:40 Riki Rachtman With that note, I have to give a plug since we're talking about that music, is that I'm re-opening the Cat House on Tuesday, June 5th, which I want to talk about in a little bit and plug that, if I may. Sure. But to talk about what he was talking about, I was always a really big Nirvana fan when the record Bleach came out. When I was hosting the ball, I was excited to meet Kurt Cobain. Kurt Cobain came in wasted out of his mind, and this is during the short time that we were filming the show in LA. He walked into the dressing room, laid down on the couch, totally passed out. What I would guess, he was probably on smack. I don't know if that was true or not. That's just what it seemed like to me. Totally wasted. I was bummed out because I am a rock fan before I'm a TV guy or whatever. He came in and he put on a big yellow ball dress, a big huge like prom dress with this big collar and these big glasses. A lot of people have seen this. I think it's on their home video and stuff like that. And I didn't really get it at first what the whole thing was, you know, and he's like, yeah, it's the headbanger's ball and I'm wearing a gown to the ball. And I mean, I guess it was sort of funny in a way, but it really wasn't.

18:46 Adam Not bad for a guy who was on heroin.

18:47 Riki Rachtman But he was just sitting there and it was just a bummer because Nirvana, you know, I remember I was on the air when we had the, I had to say to everybody the Kurt Cobain was dead. And especially with their last record, I thought that that band and a lot of people got pissed when I said that, could have been the Beatles. I mean, I thought they were incredible. I really like Nirvana, but, you know, you just see a guy that was going through so much pain that to me it just looked like somebody that was dealing with such a horrible depression that this was his only way out, was drugs and eventually, you know, blowing his brains out.

19:19 Adam And how long after that appearance did he kill himself?

19:22 Riki Rachtman I don't remember. It would probably have been about two or three years.

19:25 Drew You were on the air on Headbangers?

19:27 Riki Rachtman I was on MTV from 1990 to 1995. So it was probably around, was it 93 or 94 he did it?

19:34 Adam I'm saying 94.

19:36 Riki Rachtman Yeah, I don't remember.

19:37 Drew You were on television when you had to announce it.

19:39 Riki Rachtman Yeah, I was on TV and they came into the office and they said, you know, we have a report that Kurt Cobain is dead.

19:45 Drew April 94.

19:46 Riki Rachtman And this was, we got to remember, this was probably about a couple months after there was rumors. I mean, there was, I think he had OD'd once and there was like a couple of attempted suicides. So hearing that Kurt Cobain was dead was something that, yes, it shocked us, yes, it hurt. But there's a lot of people that, you know, hearing that they're dead, you know, it's only a matter of time. You know, when these things happen so many times.

20:08 Adam You're upset, but not necessarily surprised.

20:10 Riki Rachtman Right. It's a bummer. It was a great loss to rock and roll, but whatever.

20:14 Adam Well, on a happy note, that's the day I got in the radio. I swear to Christ.

20:19 Drew That day? Yeah. Where does that...

20:21 Riki Rachtman But was I hosting Loveline?

20:22 Adam Yeah, you were hosting Loveline.

20:24 Drew In 94?

20:25 Adam Yeah. I was...

20:26 Riki Rachtman Because I did MTV.

20:27 Drew What?

20:28 Adam I didn't get into this radio in 94.

20:31 Riki Rachtman I did Loveline.

20:31 Adam We were doing it.

20:32 Riki Rachtman We did Loveline for the three of us for a while.

20:33 Drew That was in 96?

20:35 Riki Rachtman No, no, no. Because I remember I had to do MTV from New York.

20:39 Drew Yeah.

20:40 Riki Rachtman And then I was up to like three in the morning, then do Headbangers Ball at seven. And I remember walking to the studio and walking like half a mile away from when Tupac got shot, the time he got shot in New York. And I ran into the studio and I'm like, Tupac just... They shot Tupac. Not in Vegas, but New York. Remember, I was in the studio in New York and you guys were here.

20:56 Adam Yeah, yeah, yeah. Geez, you're the kiss of death, Rachtman. Holy Christ.

21:00 Riki Rachtman Stay away from me.

21:01 Adam Who's going first, me or Drew? All right, should we take a break?

21:05 Drew Yeah, it's time.

21:06 Adam All right, Drew, you do it.

21:09 Drew We'll be back with more Love Line for now. We're going to take a break and celebrate Adam's birthday. We'll be back with Riki Rachtman after this.

21:22 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. This is Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Rob Schneider in here on Thursday. Tonight, Riki Rachtman, former host of the show. And now you can find him on Thunderbox UPN. Check your local listings.

21:41 Riki Rachtman K-Cal in California, though.

21:42 Adam Oh, K-Cal and Cal.

21:44 Riki Rachtman I don't know where it is.

21:45 Adam All right. Well, the point is, is check your listings. But it's good. I do enjoy it. It's all heavyweights. They beat the cramp out of each other. And it's not pro wrestling. I mean, they're going at it.

21:57 Riki Rachtman I love pro wrestling.

21:58 Adam Also, the return of the Cat House, which is coming up June 5th. And we'll be plugging that.

22:05 Riki Rachtman I just want to give the website for that, okay? For people that don't know, before I did MTV or Loveline or anything else, I opened up a little rock and roll club called the Cat House that was in Hollywood. And every band you can think of used to play there unannounced, from Guns N Roses, White Zombie, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains. Black Crowes like paid me $500 to play the Cat House. Everybody played there. And we're reopening it because the rock stuff is coming back. And if anybody wants to know any info about it, just go to clubcathouse.com.

22:32 Drew One word.

22:33 Riki Rachtman There you go. Yeah, clubcathouse.com.

22:35 Adam And where's the new one going to be?

22:36 Riki Rachtman It's in Hollywood on Melrose. It's got like a capacity of like 400. And we're just going to put bands in unannounced. And I mean, the stuff that used to happen at that club, the people that would show up, it was, I mean, there's stories of like Axl Rose chasing David Bowie down the street. Just decadent, decadent stuff used to happen. And that's kind of how I got my start in everything. And to clean drugs and pardon me, clean drugs and don't do a lot of drugs at the cat house. A lot of decadent. But it'd be weird. Like, for instance, I know that, you know, in LA, everybody's talking about Depeche Mode. And I remember they did an in store and it turned into a riot. So they all went into the cat house because nobody cares who you are at the cat house. And they all just had fun there. And nobody asked them for their autograph because everybody used to go to this club. And it was, I mean, we ended up doing it in five states. We took it on tours and we closed it for a while and we're reopening it in a very, very small location. And I'm doing it purely at the standpoint of just wanting to have fun. Nice.

23:32 Adam And that's Tuesday, June 5th.

23:34 Riki Rachtman Tuesday, June 5th, it opens. Go to clubcathouse.com. Blah.

23:37 Adam Sarah?

23:38 Riki Rachtman I'm such a whore.

23:40 Adam Sarah.

23:41 Hello.

23:41 Adam That's all right. You're 20. What's up?

23:43 Caller Hi. I have this ooze that comes from my bellybutton sometimes.

23:47 Riki Rachtman Did you have it pierced?

23:49 Caller No. Nothing like that.

23:50 Drew Actually, you can get little sort of abscesses that develop in the bellybutton.

23:54 Caller It seems to be related to my period, actually.

23:57 Adam Maybe it's related.

23:57 Riki Rachtman Maybe it's not your bellybutton.

23:59 Adam Maybe it's something left over from your boyfriend.

24:01 Drew No. No, it's more like something left over from your development. You remember that's how we used to get fed, right?

24:07 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

24:07 Drew And there is inside there a potential canal that stuff can get caught in.

24:12 Riki Rachtman That's nasty.

24:13 Drew And it can cause little abscesses that can drain. So you got to get somebody to take a look at that. They can be infections and things. It's pretty easy to treat.

24:19 Caller OK. It doesn't burn or anything.

24:21 Drew Yeah. Just get somebody to treat it. It doesn't really turn into a big abscess.

24:23 Riki Rachtman Bathing might help.

24:25 Drew Yeah.

24:25 Riki Rachtman I try that sometimes.

24:26 Riki Rachtman You should.

24:26 Adam You drop a bottle brush in there once in a while, too, and really swab it out.

24:30 Riki Rachtman Girls got nasty. They got a lot of crevices that just some stuff can hide in. You know, guys just have that outward thing. You just have to wash it off once in a while.

24:40 Adam Yeah. I mean, they're really, they're, I think of them as, you know why roaches hide in the kitchen, you know? There's just so many places. The refrigerator, the microwave, and get behind and in everything. We're more like just sort of the basement.

24:53 Caller It's just the roof.

24:55 Adam Yeah, the roof. Just a big slab of asphalt. Just hose it down every once in a while. All right. Let's talk to Eric.

25:03 Hey, how you guys doing?

25:04 Adam Hey, you're 24. What's up?

25:06 Caller Yeah, 24. Hey, I have a question real quick for you. I'll give you a little bit of brief history. I recently had a daughter in December, and my wife right now, girlfriend at the time, came down with TSS after my daughter was born.

25:23 Drew Toxic shock.

25:24 Caller Yeah, toxic shock syndrome. And right now I want to actually know about getting a vasectomy to refrain from this happening ever again.

25:33 Drew Well, how do you, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't confuse. How is it? What is your sperm production have to do with her toxic shock?

25:40 Caller Well, the doctors say that if anything happens as far as pregnancy and a later date, I could, she could possibly die is what it all amounts to. And I want to kind of not let that happen.

25:55 Drew When did she get the toxic shock?

25:57 Caller This is right after, right after my daughter was born. And what happened was she reacted with about five meds that they gave her. And they ruled it afterwards as toxic shock syndrome.

26:08 Drew Who decided that?

26:09 Caller The, the delivery doctor.

26:12 Drew Okay, why don't you ever see an infectious disease doctor? Because there's something screwy about this whole story.

26:16 Caller Okay.

26:17 Drew I mean, toxic shock is really just a toxin elaborated by a bacteria that usually overgrows in an occluded body space.

26:24 See?

26:24 Riki Rachtman Just what Adam was talking about just there.

26:26 Adam Riki wrote that down on a cocktail napkin and slid it over to me two minutes ago.

26:30 Drew Crevices again. But like if you get your nose packed after nasal surgery, you could get toxic shock. Okay. If you wear a tampon. Wait a minute.

26:38 Adam Who? You mean packing. You don't mean sex with it.

26:41 Drew I don't mean.

26:41 Adam I'm sorry. You said get your nose packed. This guy was talking about sex.

26:45 Riki Rachtman Man, a lot of kinky stuff has happened since I left this show.

26:48 Adam Show's taking a turn.

26:50 Drew But the fact, it sounds like she developed some endotoxemia or exotoxemia from probably an infection of her uterus, I bet. So this whole thing isn't fitting together. So have her see an infectious disease, doctor. Why don't you hold the line? I know you're from Pasadena. So Tara, Tara, what's her name?

27:08 Adam Yeah, that's good enough. Tara, is there Tara?

27:12 Drew Tara. Tara, I was saying Tara. It is now. Hold Eric on the line. I got to talk to him after the air. OK.

27:18 Adam We've been through 1,700 phone screeners since you left. None of them good.

27:24 Drew Until now.

27:25 Adam Until now. You are an asshole, Todd.

27:28 Drew The Insane Clown Posse.

27:30 Adam Todd.

27:31 Drew Are they nuts?

27:31 Adam Todd.

27:32 Riki Rachtman They were wrestlers, actually.

27:33 Adam Drew.

27:34 Drew Todd.

27:34 Adam Yes, sir. 36. What's up?

27:37 I want to know what's up at the Pool School Skateboard.

27:39 Riki Rachtman Oh.

27:39 At Simi Valley.

27:40 Riki Rachtman Oh, I don't know. Actually, if this is the same Todd, I know he has a skate. Just so anybody knows, if you're like, I'm in my 30s now and have been for a while. And when I was a kid, I was 11 years. No, no. When I was a kid, I used to skateboard nonstop. Yeah. And I stopped skating for a real long time. And I went to this place, Skatelab, which is in Simi Valley, and started skating. I live in Huntington Beach, so I went to the Block in Orange. And in my 30s, I started skateboarding again, skating pools. And that's what we used to all do. And you probably, when you were a kid, were you into skating?

28:10 Adam No, I was, but I sucked. But yes, it was all the rage.

28:15 Drew Adam was a nerdy kid. So they couldn't skateboard, so he rode a unicycle.

28:19 Caller You pansies.

28:20 Drew So I started, I'm serious.

28:21 Riki Rachtman I started skateboarding again, and I started a skateboard company, which neither, I feel like a whore when I plug things, but it's poolschool.net. But I own a skateboard and apparel company called PoolSchool. And it's much more fun than profitable, but it keeps me skating, which, you know, like the coolest thing that happened with skateboarding right now is you got all these kids doing their street stuff. And I told Drew, like, dude, you gotta get your kids off of scooters and on skateboards, because if they ride scooters, bad things will happen. That leads to drugs. And the cool thing is you go to skateparks now and you'll see, like, the 30-year-old guys and stuff in the pools and their kids in the street. Like, skateboarding is something that fathers and sons do, which to me is just incredible.

29:02 Drew My kids, by the way, were blown away. They're sort of becoming interested in people that I've met. One of the ones that really caught their attention was Tony Hawk.

29:11 Riki Rachtman Hey, I filled in on Loveline a couple years ago, and we had Limp Bizkit one night and Tony Hawk the other night, and Tony Hawk got more phone calls than Limp Bizkit. And the Nickelodeon Kids Awards was Tiger Woods, Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant, Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk won.

29:27 Riki Rachtman Wow.

29:28 Riki Rachtman Biggest selling video game in history.

29:31 Adam I saw him at the Teen Choice Awards, I think. Did you see him there? Last year. And the year before, I think. It couldn't happen to a nicer guy, but yeah, this is a huge sport to...

29:42 Riki Rachtman Sport, not a fad sport.

29:43 Adam I mean, sport to those who... to the younger folks, mainly. No. Mainly. I said mainly. Alright. And then they idolize a guy.

29:54 Drew Well, they're just getting at it through the video games.

29:57 Riki Rachtman Well, you gotta get them on skateboards. I broke my middle finger. Look how messed up my middle finger is. I was in a cast. I broke my middle finger and they put a cast up to my elbow. Why is that, Drew?

30:06 Drew You must have broken your hand.

30:08 Riki Rachtman Oh, maybe that was it.

30:10 Adam Alright, let's talk.

30:11 Riki Rachtman That was riveting, wasn't it?

30:12 Adam Let's talk to...

30:14 Riki Rachtman Good time, right?

30:15 Adam Good times.

30:15 Riki Rachtman Good times.

30:16 Adam Which does it? Gossam?

30:17 Drew Casson?

30:18 Adam Casson. Casson, what's up? You're 21.

30:21 Caller How you doing? Yeah, I'm 21. Actually, I just started having sex about when I was 20, about a year ago. But just recently I noticed, I never noticed whatsoever, but I noticed I had a small penis. Can I say in the air?

30:34 Drew Yeah, you can say it. How small are we talking about?

30:36 Adam I don't know if you want to say it too much.

30:39 Caller No, I just, I mean, I'm kind of worried, you know, because I'm 21 and I'm almost out of puberty, I guess. You take it, you know, I think I'm pretty much done.

30:46 Adam Yeah.

30:46 Drew Well, how small are we talking about here?

30:48 Caller I can help. I was wondering, I don't know much about it. I mean, I just started having sex.

30:52 Riki Rachtman How small is it?

30:55 Caller When it's like erected, it's about, it's actually just measured a couple of weeks ago, so it was just five, five.

31:01 That's all right, right?

31:02 Drew Five, five?

31:04 Riki Rachtman Five, five? Wow, he's really measuring it. Learn to use your mouth really well.

31:09 Drew Yeah, that's fine.

31:09 Adam Yeah, absolutely.

31:11 Drew We get way more complaints about too big on this show than too little.

31:14 Adam Yeah.

31:15 Drew Way more.

31:15 Adam Not personally. Really?

31:16 Riki Rachtman I've never heard that. I've never had the complaint about too big.

31:19 Caller When I was little, I had a little bicycle accident and I sprained it or something went somewhere wrong and I don't know if I had to do something with the fact that I only come like really quickly.

31:34 Adam Yeah.

31:35 Riki Rachtman That's because you're young.

31:36 Adam Yeah.

31:36 Drew Nothing to do with that.

31:37 Adam Spoke came out last time we watched that.

31:39 Caller I don't know. Am I supposed to not get used to it or something like that? You know what I'm saying? Am I supposed to get used to it? And be able to have sex for like 20, 30 minutes out. You always have stories and everything like that.

31:50 Adam All right. Listen.

31:51 Riki Rachtman What are your options? Do you get used to it or what?

31:54 Drew Relax, Asan.

31:54 Adam You are as squirrely a 21-year-old as I've spoken to on this show in many years. You gotta relax. You got a girlfriend? Oh, yes, I do. Okay. Just slide in and relax and enjoy breaking her in. See, this guy.

32:09 Riki Rachtman Breaking her in.

32:10 Adam Well, we always talk about this, but males and females, you have that one person that breaks you in. Not the people you've had sex with, but that one person, that person you shower with, the person you try all the different positions with and all that. And usually, guys usually find that at 17, 18 years old. He is now finding that at 21. And that's why he sounds like he's 17 years old. But relax. He's way, I'll tell you, women are much more turned off by a guy who's uptight about his small penis than a guy who actually has a small penis.

32:47 Riki Rachtman But then you start thinking about it and thinking about being uptight and then it just doesn't work.

32:51 Drew Ooh, that's a little personal here.

32:52 Riki Rachtman Remember? Well, okay, no, no, no. It's getting exciting. First of all, this is funny, and Drew will remember this. I was once married, right, to this girl that I thought was like, I mean, physically attractive, but not sexy in the slightest. Remember? And I said, Drew, I can't get it up. I couldn't, like, I couldn't get it up for her.

33:09 Adam He's a good friend, because he didn't say anything to me.

33:11 Riki Rachtman I never had sex when I was married, but she didn't, that's because she didn't want to have sex with me, but... But I don't know why I told you guys that story. I really wish I didn't.

33:20 Adam Well, because she wasn't, you weren't motivated?

33:24 Riki Rachtman No, because the first time, for some reason, I couldn't get it up, and then you start thinking, you know what, why can't I get it up? It's got to happen again. Because now I'm a machine.

33:32 Adam Right. Oh, yes.

33:33 Riki Rachtman Oh, I'm a machine.

33:34 Adam But there's no doubt about it, you're all man, an all man.

33:36 Riki Rachtman Even though I still have those Adam Gay test things that I'll never, not that I forgot, all the things that Adam says that makes a man gay, I always thought you were gay if you like dick. But according to Adam, if you like...

33:50 Adam Soda. Yogurt.

33:51 Riki Rachtman Got it, got it, got it.

33:54 Drew Squeegee in the shower.

33:56 Riki Rachtman No, because now, you know why I don't have the squeegee in the shower anymore? Because they have this spray stuff that you just spray all over the shower. Oh my god, that's a shower thing.

34:04 Adam That's worse.

34:05 Riki Rachtman And the cats. I'm a big cat guy. Like cats better than I like dogs.

34:09 Adam Okay, let's just check some calls.

34:10 Riki Rachtman See, I always thought it would be sucked on when you were a cat. I didn't know that it's like cats and things that smell good.

34:15 Adam That's next.

34:15 Riki Rachtman Eric?

34:18 Adam Eric, you're 16. What's up?

34:20 Caller I want to know if there's a certain amount of weed I could smoke without like getting dumber and getting a little ball and keeping it off.

34:26 Riki Rachtman Sounds like you've already smoked enough. About a pound less than you've already smoked.

34:31 Drew When you're an addict, it doesn't...

34:32 Adam That was five lids ago.

34:33 Drew Yeah, when you're making deals with yourself, you got a problem. And when you're trying to control it, you got a problem.

34:40 Caller I went 30 days straight without smoking weed, what I did last night, but...

34:44 Drew Yeah, but you're addicted, though. You're white-knuckling and you can't do that. It's like trying not to eat, the venture you're going to eat. You can't do it.

34:51 Caller I don't really like smoking weed, but...

34:53 Riki Rachtman Then don't.

34:54 Drew No, just don't do it. Why were you thinking about it? Why was it that month so difficult then?

34:57 Caller I don't know. I can't stop doing it.

35:01 Drew You may not like it, but you're addicted to it. It's usually worse. It usually means that it's doing something good for you.

35:08 Caller But is there just some...

35:09 Caller like if I smoke a little at a time?

35:11 Drew Yeah, if you smoke once a month.

35:12 Caller That's it?

35:13 Drew Yeah. Enjoy.

35:14 Riki Rachtman That's the biggest crock. If you smoke at all, it doesn't matter how much you...

35:18 Adam Right. Listen, I can smoke every day, but you can't, Eric. No, because you're addicted. You're into it.

35:25 Drew Yeah, it's not...

35:25 Riki Rachtman Yeah, that laugh.

35:27 Adam Right.

35:27 Riki Rachtman The pot laugh.

35:28 Adam He's depressed already.

35:30 Drew Yeah.

35:30 Adam I'm not depressed. Sure you are.

35:32 Caller No.

35:33 Adam Yeah, all right. But believe me, you better hope you're depressed, because if this is you in a good mood, you're going to have to kill yourself. You sound depressed. Are your parents alcoholics?

35:43 Caller No.

35:44 Adam Now, how long have you been smoking pot?

35:47 Caller 20 minutes. Eighth grade.

35:49 Drew Three years.

35:49 Adam Yeah, that's time to quit.

35:51 Drew That'll have a significant effect on you.

35:52 Caller Eric. All right. Happy birthday, Adam.

35:55 Drew You're not likely to stop on your own. You're really guilty. You gotta get some help with this.

35:59 Caller Like, where would I go to get help?

36:01 Drew MA, Marijuana Anonymous. Yeah, lots of people like you. Lots of them.

36:04 Riki Rachtman Yeah, a lot of... You know what? Pot is really, you know...

36:08 Drew Well, enough time has gone by with that being a commonly used drug that we're starting to see the addiction now start to take its toll, so people are asking for help with it.

36:16 Riki Rachtman And the other thing...

36:16 Drew So MA has become huge.

36:17 Riki Rachtman What you like about weed these days is that it's, you know, you say it's not your parents' marijuana because the pot these days is so much stronger than the pot they used to smoke, you know, back in the...

36:28 Drew And people have been smoking it for 10...

36:29 Adam Back in the 80s.

36:30 Drew 10, 20, and 30 years, and eventually the consequences of the addiction comes to bear, and that's when you got to have help.

36:35 Adam Who gave me some pot on this show three or four weeks ago?

36:39 Drew What band was that?

36:39 Adam No, I know, it wasn't... Oh, it wasn't Be Real.

36:43 Drew No, it was somebody else.

36:44 Adam Oh yeah, the guy from Stained.

36:46 Drew Stained, yeah.

36:47 Adam Yeah, I smoked some of that when I got home that night.

36:50 Drew You were screwed up for a month, a week, a week. I kept coming to you, you loaded, what's the matter with you?

36:55 Adam No, I really, I was like hallucinating, I was getting weird, there were spiders in my spine. I mean, I just thought, my God, this stuff's too good now. I'm really gonna have to cut it with like lawn trimmings or something. It is now past the point of, it's become too potent. I mean, listen, if you're not smoking it every day and you ain't used to it, you have a B-load, you'll go psychotic. That's what happened to me.

37:22 Riki Rachtman And look now, he came in today with a suit and tie. That's what's gonna happen. That's right.

37:26 Adam You'll go Squaresville, baby. Riki Rachtman is our guest tonight. We're gonna take a little break. And then we'll be back after this.

37:36 Loveline, we'll be right back. Call on the 1-800-LOVE-191.

37:40 Hi, this is Janine Garofalo. And if you've ever wondered if there's people that are way worse off than you, listen to Loveline.

37:46 Adam Yes, there are. Some of them are here tonight.

37:49 Caller Me?

37:50 Adam No, I was talking about myself. Riki Rachtman is our guest tonight. Riki, former host of this show. Now you can find him on Thunderbox, which is... Well, check your local listings. Please. It's boxing. It's heavyweights. It's not fixed. And I really enjoy it. Also, the rebirth of the Cat House. It's Tuesday.

38:10 Riki Rachtman Just go to clubcathouse.com.

38:12 Adam That's right. And this time you won't miss it. All right. Let's talk to Megan, who's 16. Megan?

38:20 Caller Yeah.

38:21 Adam What's up?

38:22 Caller I was giving my boyfriend head for the first time and he didn't get hard.

38:27 Adam Yeah. That's that's going to leave a scar.

38:29 Caller Yeah.

38:30 Adam On him or her? On both of them.

38:33 Riki Rachtman How old's your boyfriend?

38:35 Caller He's 16 too.

38:36 Adam Well, 16 year old guys don't enjoy the mouth of a beautiful woman on their penis. That's documented. 16? He was nervous.

38:46 Caller I gotta say, I'm a big fan of you guys.

38:48 Adam Oh, great.

38:49 Caller You're awesome.

38:50 Adam Well, your boyfriend, thanks. Your boyfriend was nervous.

38:52 Drew Yeah.

38:53 Adam Because it was the first time.

38:55 Drew No, no, nervous.

38:56 Or gervous, which is a combination of gay and nervous.

39:01 Caller He gets hard when we make out and stuff, but like he didn't do it that time.

39:06 Adam Right.

39:06 Riki Rachtman Maybe a little less pressure with the teeth. Do you have braces?

39:10 Caller No.

39:13 Drew He was just freaked out. His thing is, oh my god, oh my god. I can't believe this is happening to me.

39:17 Adam No, same thing. That was my mantra. It's actually happening. It's actually happening. It's actually happening.

39:22 Riki Rachtman I don't have to pay this time.

39:23 Adam Right. Where's the phone? I got to call my buddy.

39:26 Caller Really?

39:27 Adam Yeah. Has he been with other women?

39:31 Caller Well, yeah.

39:33 Adam Has he been successful?

39:35 Caller No.

39:36 Adam No?

39:36 Caller No.

39:37 Adam What do you mean no?

39:38 Caller Like he's never gotten anywhere with anyone else.

39:41 Adam Okay. Well, that's it. He's just got the jitters.

39:44 Caller Okay.

39:46 Adam You'll work it out.

39:46 Riki Rachtman Or is he doing, I hate to sound like Dr. Drew, but is he doing any drugs?

39:50 Caller No.

39:51 Riki Rachtman Because sometimes drugs will make it.

39:53 Drew Yeah. Absolutely make it not work. And Megan, it sounds like you're sort of, or coffee. You're feeling responsible for this and it really is not about you.

39:58 Or potpourri or salt soda.

40:00 Riki Rachtman Living at the beach. It may be actually the skateboarding of you.

40:04 Drew It may be actually he's really into you, you know, and that.

40:07 Caller He's big on the commitment thing. Like he was the first one to say I love you and stuff. And like, yeah.

40:14 Adam All right. He's just, he's a little overwhelmed. It's all right. You'll work it out.

40:19 Caller Thanks.

40:19 Adam All right. Good times. Yeah, that works. Desiree?

40:24 Yeah, this question's for Riki.

40:26 Adam Here he is.

40:27 Riki Rachtman Wait, I have a question. Is Good Times replaced Mahalo?

40:29 Adam No, Mahalo's at the end. Good Times is the body of the show now.

40:32 Caller Okay.

40:34 Adam Go ahead.

40:34 Caller Riki? Yeah. I think it's great. You're a skateboard company and everything. But how do I get it through to my two 16 year old twin boys? They are not going to be Tony Hawks at the age of 18. The education is important.

40:47 Riki Rachtman Well, it's just the same as you tell the kid that's playing basketball that he's not going to be Kobe Bryant. And everybody, the kids have got to know that they've... The one problem is that anything that when you see people like a Tony Hawk making millions of dollars in a sport, most of the best skateboarders in the world aren't making millions of dollars. And the thing is, I mean, I hate to sound like an adult, but they've got to get the education. And then, hopefully, it'll happen. And the worst thing is, the thing that is ruining that sport is kids saying, when a kid will see another skater, they'll say, are you sponsored? Which is the lamest thing in the world. It's like, why don't you skate because you like it? Tony Hawk started because he had fun. Period. You know, they've got to have fun and not worry about making money. And if they're really good and they're having fun, then maybe somebody will come around, but obviously they've got to go to school.

41:37 Caller I do encourage that. I encourage them to continue doing it.

41:41 But they're not going to get scholarships by the way.

41:44 Adam Now listen, listen, you'll instill those virtues in them or you won't, but it won't have anything to do with skateboarding. I mean, look, every guy I knew who was in high school, including myself, I was a poor student and a good high school ball player. And without playing ball, I would have just been a pit poor student who never did reap any of the benefits or disciplines of playing the sport. So don't try to take this sport away from them and don't try to crush them.

42:13 Caller I'm into sports.

42:14 Riki Rachtman But you do have to say, look, if you don't do good, you know, if your grades don't pick up, we're going to take the board away from them a little bit and make that an incentive.

42:22 Drew I suspect you're giving them mixed messages because I see this all the time. We're parents.

42:27 Caller I mean, I do give mixed messages.

42:29 Riki Rachtman Sometimes I agree with it.

42:31 Drew No, no, no, no, no. Stop it. Stop.

42:34 Caller OK.

42:34 Drew You make the message clear. You are not going to be a professional skateboarder. Cut it out. No. Hang on a second. Wait a minute. I'm not saying you're not going to be a doctor.

42:44 Adam No, I'm not saying I'm not saying Santa Sotomayor Easter Bunny.

42:48 Drew Hey, I'm not saying stop skateboarding. I'm just saying, hey, you get your homework done and do the things you've got to do when that's complete. You earn the privilege of skateboarding.

42:56 Riki Rachtman That's true.

42:56 Drew And that's fine. But I deal with these kids all the time who are snowboarders. They're going to be professional snowboarders. And they aren't being required to work, go to school.

43:07 Adam Who are you dealing with?

43:08 Drew I deal with this.

43:09 Riki Rachtman There's more professional basketball players, football, anything than skaters. There's very few people. And when you've got Tony Hawk, which is the one exception of the world.

43:17 Drew The point is, do not let them forsake their responsibilities in a fantasy. Just cut it out.

43:23 Caller I try so hard not to, but I don't want to.

43:25 Adam All right, who cares?

43:26 Riki Rachtman Just do it.

43:27 Caller Zip it, you nag.

43:28 Adam Oh, but listen, I would really contend that a person who is not going to be a good student is probably not going to be a good student anyway, but they may have strengths that lie in other fields. And I think as a parent, Riki, see, I'm glad Riki's here tonight because.

43:46 Drew He would be fighting out between us otherwise.

43:48 Adam No, but I'm going to pay Riki a compliment. I'm going to pay me a compliment. And then maybe if you're lucky, Drew, I'll get you in the eleven o'clock hour. But Riki is a guy, is a classic example of a guy who's probably a horrible student. Never, never.

44:03 Drew He was a great student.

44:04 Adam Okay.

44:05 Riki Rachtman Bull. Yeah, yeah, high school was the best eleven years of my life.

44:09 Adam Listen, Riki grew up in the same part of the valley as I did. We probably had about the same upbringing, about the same time. Parents who didn't care, living in some crappy place in Van Nuys.

44:19 Drew His parents were teachers.

44:20 Adam And would you shut up and stop crapping on my point, Einstein?

44:23 Riki Rachtman I'm like nodding. I'm like, I wasn't in Van Nuys, actually.

44:27 Adam He was a poor student, at least when it counted.

44:30 Riki Rachtman Always.

44:30 Adam And, but yet, you have an entrepreneurial spirit. You've made your way. You've had many different endeavors in your life. And you're a successful person, and have been a successful person. Not because you're a good student, but your strengths were in other places. And to force feed you the books on Riki Rachtman probably would not have worked.

44:53 Riki Rachtman Yet it was done. Yet it was done.

44:55 Adam You could have encouraged him to study. But still, as soon as he quit, he was going to go open the cat house. That's fine.

45:03 Riki Rachtman But I'm also, you know, I got to admit, I'm the exception to the rules. So do you tell your kids, look, here's this idiot Riki, that guy with all the tattoos that got bad grades, so don't worry, you'll be like him.

45:14 Adam No.

45:14 Riki Rachtman I mean, I was, I started every single September, every September saying, this year is going to be different. I'm going to get good grades. I got a brand new notebook and a brand new pencil sharpener. And even though I still don't know how to divide, you know, it's, you know, I really try, I really did try, but you know, whatever.

45:32 Adam Now listen, I think you encourage your kid to be a good student, but you also keep an eye open for what the kid is good at.

45:39 Riki Rachtman They need to make some changes in schools where there are certain types of other type of things that kids are learning, you know, that bring out their talents, whether it's graphic arts, ceramics, tree climbing, whatever.

45:51 Drew Dirt cloth throwing. Isn't that what they did for you?

45:53 Adam All right. All right, Drew. Drew, you were formed by the man. That's all I have to say.

46:00 Drew We're not, I'm not wholly disagreeing with you guys, but we're going to, parents still got to do their job.

46:05 Adam Yeah. That's all. All right. Don't squash the kid's dreams. That's all I'm saying.

46:10 Riki Rachtman We're eating pie.

46:11 Adam We're going to take ourselves a break. Riki Rachtman is our guest of night and we'll be back. Love Line, Fast-Growing Outlaw Radio, North America. Riki Rachtman is our guest of night. He's the former host of Love Line.

46:36 Riki Rachtman I'm former everything, aren't I? I'm just a big former guy.

46:39 Adam No, current host of Thunderbox.

46:41 Riki Rachtman I'm a whatever happened.

46:43 Drew Pool School.

46:43 Adam And soon to be a host of the Cat House.

46:46 Riki Rachtman Yeah, clubcathouse.com.

46:49 Adam That's right. Tuesday, June 5th. And is there going to be a band that night?

46:54 Riki Rachtman Yes, there is. I'm not announcing any of the bands at play because I want people to go to a club to dance to rock and roll. We only play rock and roll there. And we're going to have bands play and we're never going to announce them because someday it might be some great huge band unannounced and someday it might be a band you never heard of and sometimes it might be a no-no band.

47:12 Adam Well, it may be a band that you hadn't heard of and then you can say that you saw them.

47:17 Riki Rachtman Yes, the grand opening, we do have a band. There's some good stuff happening for the grand opening, but I can't talk about it. Okay, that would be such a lame promoter type of thing to do.

47:27 Adam Tuesday, June 5th.

47:28 Riki Rachtman Yes, sir. Thank you, Adam.

47:29 Adam Let's hop back to the phones and speak to Angela's 27. Angela?

47:33 Caller Yeah, hi.

47:35 I have a question for Dr. Drew, actually. You know, I've heard you talk about teaching, I have a four-year-old, almost five-year-old, and I've heard you talk about several times about, you know, by the time the child is eight, you need to either initiate sex education or start talking about it.

47:54 Caller At eight?

47:55 Drew Eight to twelve.

47:55 Caller Eight to twelve, yeah.

47:57 I mean, I listen to you guys' show and I hear about all these thirteen-year-olds and sometimes younger that are already having sex. I'm like, oh my gosh, I only have a couple years to go. So, you know, I mean, I want to be able to have that open discussion with my child when he gets here.

48:12 Drew All right. The important thing is, first of all, calm down. Okay. The important thing is that-

48:17 Adam Yeah, you're going to freak the kid out. You won't be able to get it up as soon as that.

48:22 I don't want to spend thousands of dollars on therapy because I get it wrong.

48:25 Drew No, no.

48:25 Riki Rachtman Is it a girl or a guy?

48:27 A boy.

48:27 Riki Rachtman A boy? I don't have to worry about it.

48:29 Drew The important thing is to realize that what's important is not the information you give him so much as the dialogue being established. That's the goal of that 8-12 window. Not that you should give him a plumbing lesson. Not that he should walk away with a complete understanding of what human sexuality is, but just that he feels comfortable asking his questions. I gave a lecture once to a group of inner-city youth and then teachers and parents of these kids. As they walked into the room, there was a big blackboard. They were to answer this question, the right time to talk to kids about sex is dot, dot, dot. And on one side of the board, the teachers answered, and the other side, the kids answered. And the kids and the parents and teachers' side, the responses were always 16, 13, 14, as soon as he can talk, as soon as he can walk, these very, very discreet ideas about when the right time is. On the kids' side, without exception, the response was...

49:16 Adam Huge penis and nuts drawn in.

49:18 Drew No, there was some of that stuff too. But on the kids' side, it was all about when I ask, when I'm ready. That's it. And make sure when they ask, that you make sure you understand what they're asking. So always get for clarification. Say, what do you want? What do you ask? What do you want to know?

49:33 Riki Rachtman I can't imagine anything more terrifying than if... I mean, my parents never had the talk with me, and I think judging on some of the choices I've made in my life, they're probably wishing they did. But I never had that talk, and I can't think of anything scarier than my mom saying, you know, Riki, it's time for us to talk about sex.

49:49 Drew It turns out if you don't hit that 8 to 12 window, it all becomes that weird, awful anxiety-promoting thing.

49:55 Riki Rachtman Just say, look, this is the deal. Whenever you want to ask anything about it, anything you want to ask, go ahead and ask.

50:00 Drew Yeah, do you have any questions about girls, about this, about that? Just keep...

50:04 Riki Rachtman Is quantity better than quality sometimes?

50:06 Drew Just give them opportunities to talk about it.

50:07 Riki Rachtman Do 5 2s equal 10?

50:09 Drew But you always got to make sure it's on their terms. You can't freak them out. My daughter, when she was 5, asked... Did I tell you this story? Yeah. Do you and mommy sex? She asked that. And I asked the next... After freaking out, I asked the next smart question, which was, what do you mean? She went, oh, kissing. Yeah, we do that. And pow, that was it. She was delighted. That's all she wanted to know. All right.

50:29 Adam You didn't give her the gory detail?

50:31 Drew No.

50:32 Adam Didn't talk about renting the porn in the Vegas hotels or any of that good stuff? No, no. I see. Yeah. My parents didn't talk to me about sex either, and they just waited until I was old enough to find out on my own, which was 29, but yeah, because Riki, you and me, and Drew, you would have freaked out too to have this conversation with your penny-pinching dad and crazy mom at 15, 16 years old. You have to lay a little groundwork till you get to that point.

51:02 Drew That's the point.

51:03 Adam You can't just start it up at 15.

51:04 Drew Yeah, that's the point. You've lost them permanently after 13.

51:07 Adam Right. Mary?

51:09 Yes.

51:09 Adam You're 26.

51:10 Caller Yes, I am.

51:11 Adam What's up?

51:12 Caller Okay, my question is, I'm not exactly too sure what I should do about my brother-in-law who seems to like me. I mean, like me, like me.

51:26 Drew Why would you be sort of amused by this and not really totally outraged?

51:30 Caller I don't know.

51:31 Adam Big gal.

51:32 Caller I'm not...

51:33 Caller Big?

51:35 Caller I don't know.

51:35 Drew You're overweight.

51:37 Caller I'm just saying...

51:39 Adam You're a big gal, though, right?

51:40 Caller Who, me? Yeah. I don't know. I guess.

51:44 Adam How tall are you?

51:45 Caller I'm 5'9.

51:47 Adam What are you coming in at, weight-wise?

51:50 Caller Well, more than I'd like to, but... I mean, I'm not by any means, you know, like a big, rolly polly or nothing.

51:57 Adam No, we're not saying there aren't people fatter than you, but...

52:01 Caller Well, yes.

52:01 Riki Rachtman What are you saying, that basically what the deal is that he's next to, he's like drawn to her like an orbit, like an orbitational draw.

52:08 Drew No, why she... Right.

52:09 Riki Rachtman There's nothing wrong with fat girls need love, too. I like fat girls.

52:11 Adam No.

52:12 Drew Why she would consider this... She sees this as somehow complimentary.

52:15 Adam She's enamored with the attention, and she's not had enough attention.

52:19 Riki Rachtman I'm out of... You guys are good.

52:20 Caller No, no, no, no, no.

52:21 Caller I have a fiancé of five years.

52:23 Adam Ooh. Well, maybe we're not so dressed.

52:25 Caller Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

52:26 Riki Rachtman May I just interrupt for a second? It doesn't matter if you're fat or you're skinny or anything. The guy's a jerk. The guy is making a pass at you. That's so totally wrong. There's certain boundaries you don't cross, you know? And if he's done it with you, he'll cheat with anybody, and he's doing your sister wrong. Period. You got to tell your sister.

52:41 Adam Well, what has he done?

52:42 Caller See, that's like what I want to know. Do I say anything to her?

52:45 Adam What has he done? What has he done to you?

52:48 Caller Well, because we always go out and party together, whatever. I was intoxicated. He kissed me.

52:53 Riki Rachtman Okay, that's wrong. You tell your sister. Because she's going to get mad at you.

52:56 Drew Yeah, know that whatever you tell your sister, she's going to blame you.

52:58 Riki Rachtman Did you kiss her back? Did you kiss him back?

53:01 Caller Well, he held my head.

53:02 Riki Rachtman Did you kiss him? Did you give him some tongue?

53:04 Caller No.

53:05 Riki Rachtman So did you push him away?

53:07 Caller Yeah.

53:08 Riki Rachtman And not really though, because you kind of liked it.

53:10 Caller Well, I was a little, like I said, I was intoxicated.

53:14 Adam She kind of likes him too.

53:16 Caller No.

53:16 Riki Rachtman Yeah, you got a fiancé. You're cheating on your fiancé and you're cheating on, yes you are. You kissed this guy.

53:22 Caller I didn't do anything. He initiated the entire thing.

53:24 Adam Okay, but listen, what are you going out and getting loaded with this A-hole for when you know his vibe?

53:29 Caller No, no, no, no. It wasn't just me and him. It was me, him, my sister and my two cousins.

53:33 Adam All right. Well, don't get around him and booze anymore and admit that you're at least flattered to some degree by the attention that he gives you.

53:42 Caller Oh, well, I, well, no, I can totally admit that.

53:44 Caller Yeah, I'm totally, of course.

53:45 Riki Rachtman That's so wrong.

53:46 Drew Not of course.

53:46 Riki Rachtman So wrong.

53:47 Drew Not of course, Mary. No, an average person would be furious. Not, not, of course.

53:53 Adam If my sister asked me to blow her husband, Kristoff, there's no, I would be, I would do it, of course, because she's my older sister, but I would be humiliated. And he's cute.

54:04 Riki Rachtman And you're talking to me about my potpourri and cats.

54:08 Adam All right, Mary. I wouldn't. Here's what I got to say.

54:10 Drew You're fat.

54:11 Adam Please, Drew, please. I was talking. Do not go out and hang out with him anymore. Certainly don't get drunk with him. You do not have to confront him. You do not have to confront your sister. Just leave it alone.

54:23 Riki Rachtman Things get ugly Thanksgiving sitting around that table.

54:26 Drew Stay away from that guy.

54:27 Adam But, you know, I think we have the popular semi-misconception on this show that people will turn on the people who deliver the message. And I don't think it's that way across the board. I think you can say to somebody, hey, somebody's out of line, somebody's coming on, and they won't turn on you.

54:45 Drew But typically, the kind of person that would hook up with an asshole like this would be the kind of person in steeped in denial who would turn it on the system.

54:53 Adam Right. And Mary is, she's eerily flattered that this guy is coming on to her, which is kind of weird. Billy?

55:03 Hey, Adam and Drew, I love this show.

55:05 Adam Thanks.

55:06 I've been listening since like way back in the days.

55:08 Caller I was like 12.

55:09 I'm like 19 now.

55:10 Drew Well, that was when Riki was here.

55:11 Riki Rachtman Was I on it then? Sure.

55:13 Yeah. Happy wrote to Adam.

55:14 Caller Thanks.

55:15 Riki Rachtman We had pie.

55:16 Caller How are you doing, man?

55:17 Riki Rachtman I'm doing good.

55:18 Dude, I remember listening to you back when you were on the Triple R.

55:20 Caller I was one of your website groupie guys, whatever.

55:23 Riki Rachtman I formerly hosted my own radio show as well. We all know that story.

55:28 Caller Well, of course we do.

55:29 Yes. But I was wondering who you want to win the Stanley Cup this year.

55:33 Riki Rachtman I don't care any. You know what? I was such a Kings fan.

55:36 Drew Yeah.

55:37 Riki Rachtman And when the Kings lost, I guess Colorado, but I guess could do it for Bork, but I don't care. It's NASCAR season now.

55:45 Drew Why?

55:46 Riki Rachtman Because the Kings aren't in it. And you know what I also don't get? In LA, is it absurd the amount of people driving with the Lakers flags?

55:52 Drew It's bizarre.

55:53 Riki Rachtman It is so, but I'm, see, I mean, I'm like the full blown race fan. I mean, I'm the only one driving around California with big threes and eights on my car. But here everybody's got, you know, the Laker things in there. Everybody's got, you know, their favorite drivers numbers. But when the Kings are in the playoffs, they didn't have, like, Kings flags and...

56:11 Drew They're cool.

56:11 Riki Rachtman They're black.

56:12 Drew I've lived in Los Angeles a long time. I've never seen anything like this.

56:14 Riki Rachtman Yeah, and I'm not a basketball fan at all.

56:16 Drew It makes me scared if I...

56:17 Riki Rachtman Okay, my choice was Colorado there. But there's his answer.

56:20 Adam What? LA is chock full of the top 10% A-holes from around the country, as you know. They will gladly embrace a winner and they will shun a loser. And as anyone knows, the real way you measure a fan is if they're there during the lean years and during the good years.

56:39 Riki Rachtman Which for the Kings, I always was.

56:41 Adam Yeah, and the Lakers are the hottest team in sports right now, and so everyone is jumping on that bandwagon. But that's all LA is.

56:49 Drew But it's nuts, right? You've seen this.

56:51 Riki Rachtman There are, I mean, the amount for people that don't know those dumb flags that people put on their windows, and I'm sorry because I'm only addressing everybody in SoCal right now, but everybody's got these flags on, and you drive on the freeway, and it's like just one out of every ten cars, maybe. You don't have a Lakers flag.

57:08 Drew No, I think you're right. It's like one on a road.

57:11 Riki Rachtman You have a Lakers flag, do you? No. Now, is there any sport, like I am the full-blown NASCAR. I'm seriously, I mean, I have a number three tattoo on my elbow. I am a NASCAR fanatic. Are there any sports that you guys are that fanatical about?

57:23 Drew No.

57:25 Adam No. Football. I love football.

57:27 Drew I love the 72 Lakers I was pretty into.

57:30 Adam But here's the thing, too.

57:32 Riki Rachtman I think basketball is just so lame.

57:33 Adam Don't take this the wrong way. But as you get older, you should be less a fan of anything except for yourself and your own family as the years wear on.

57:42 Riki Rachtman No, because when you get older, there's more time sitting. So then you get to sit down and watch the sports. That's the way you're supposed to be chasing kids. But then there's guys like me that spend more time watching.

57:54 Drew Now I'm getting back into sports again because my kids are getting into it. I've been out of sports for 20 years.

58:00 Riki Rachtman What sports?

58:01 Drew Baseball and basketball and football.

58:03 Riki Rachtman All right.

58:03 Drew I mean big time.

58:04 Riki Rachtman Not hockey? You missed hockey and Nascar.

58:06 Drew I've never read the sports page.

58:07 Riki Rachtman The only two sports that matter.

58:08 Drew In my life, I have to read the sports page. My son's every morning.

58:10 Adam Can't those kids drive Nascar yet? Are they old enough?

58:13 Drew The go-karts were into that.

58:15 Riki Rachtman That's good.

58:16 Drew I'm kidding.

58:17 Adam Danielle?

58:18 Drew Yeah.

58:18 You're 20?

58:19 Yeah, I'm 20.

58:20 Adam What's up?

58:21 Caller What's up? Who am I talking to?

58:23 Adam Yeah, Loveline.

58:24 Oh, hey.

58:25 Riki Rachtman Alan Greenspan.

58:27 Caller How's it going?

58:27 Adam Good. What do you want?

58:28 Drew What's up, Danielle?

58:29 Caller Okay, I have a question. I had hooked up with this guy and I found out he had an abnormally freakish large penis.

58:38 Caller What?

58:39 Riki Rachtman I want to hear what it is like, a corkscrew?

58:41 Caller A corkscrew?

58:42 Riki Rachtman What is that?

58:42 Drew Freakishly large. Freakishly large.

58:44 Riki Rachtman Oh, it's freakishly large?

58:46 Caller Large.

58:46 Riki Rachtman How large is large?

58:47 Caller Over nine.

58:48 Riki Rachtman Over nine inches long?

58:49 Caller He's packing over nine.

58:50 Riki Rachtman What?

58:51 Caller He's packing over nine.

58:52 Riki Rachtman He's packing over nine.

58:53 Drew She's getting nervous just talking about it.

58:54 Caller Listen to that.

58:55 Caller I want to know the average size penis. Five and a half.

58:57 Drew Five and a half.

58:58 Caller Five and a half.

58:59 Adam Bend is in half.

59:00 Riki Rachtman Wait, wait. And there's five and a half?

59:03 Caller That's pretty small.

59:04 Caller Five and a half. Are you sure?

59:05 Riki Rachtman Yeah. I thought it was like three and a half.

59:07 Adam How do you know his is over nine?

59:09 Caller Okay. I've seen porno movies before. And his is bigger than anyone I've seen in a porno.

59:14 Adam All right.

59:15 Caller It's huge.

59:15 Riki Rachtman But that's all effects, you know? It's like, you know, Planet of the Apes stuff. Shrek. That stuff ain't real.

59:20 Adam The camera adds 10 pounds.

59:22 Caller Oh, God.

59:23 Drew And so what?

59:24 Riki Rachtman And tell all those girls, just big isn't that great, is it?

59:27 Caller You know, see, that's the thing I asked them.

59:29 Riki Rachtman No, no. Tell all those girls, big isn't that great, please.

59:31 Caller Relax, Riki. What?

59:34 Drew Isn't fun.

59:35 Caller See?

59:35 Drew What's the problem? What's happening?

59:37 Caller Ouch!

59:39 Caller Well, see, like, I'm kind of attracted to it in a way. But in a way, I'm wondering, will I ever be put back together again? You know, will it ever remain the same?

59:48 Drew Yes, you'll be the same. But does it hurt you when it's happening?

59:51 Caller I haven't done it yet, but I asked him, you know, when you have sex with females, does it hurt them? And he says, it takes me three times. You know, he can't just have sex with them once because it won't go in all the way.

1:00:03 Drew I see.

1:00:04 Adam All right. But he's not met anyone as slutty as you in a while, right? So, I mean, this may work out.

1:00:11 Riki Rachtman You know what's something funny about guys? If a woman tells a guy, hey, you know, is it a good size? And the woman says, you know what? It's absolutely perfect. That's not the right answer. It's not a guy wants to hear, you know what? It's too big. I mean, how messed up is that? They want a woman to say, it's just too big to get hurt. Not, you know what? It is so perfect. You have the perfect shape. They don't want that. You want to say, you know what? It's just too big. Why is that?

1:00:37 Adam Right. Well, because it sounds like they're lying to spare your feelings. No, they do. I've had the perfect call a few times too. And it's not flattering.

1:00:48 Drew Yeah.

1:00:48 Adam It really isn't. And it just shows how insecure guys are.

1:00:51 Drew Yeah, that's what it shows. No, however you interpret it, that's the issue.

1:00:56 Adam Right. Now, she's with a guy with a huge penis. Will she be the same after having sex with him?

1:01:02 Drew Yes.

1:01:02 Adam Yes. I'll tell you where the long lasting damage is going to come from. No.

1:01:08 Drew Dad will never be the same.

1:01:09 Adam It is the pillow talk she has with her next boyfriend, fiance, guy she's going to marry, where they do that Penny for your Thoughts thing, and she says, this guy had a door the size of a table.

1:01:24 Riki Rachtman All the guys that hit Pamela Lee afterwards, all the guys that went out with Pamela Lee afterwards, that had to follow Tommy, you know, all those long mists, they always said, you know what, no matter what, I got a follow up after the horse.

1:01:40 Adam That's why I want third input on Pamela Lee.

1:01:44 Drew She's been with a lot of guys since Tommy.

1:01:46 Adam I don't know. The point is...

1:01:49 Riki Rachtman Only what I read on the Internet.

1:01:51 Adam And nobody wants to follow that. And the damage she will do will not be to her vagina, but it will be to the fragile psyche of her next boyfriend after this fling is over. So don't bring it up.

1:02:04 Drew And her dad's eternal soul.

1:02:06 Adam That's right. And grandfather. You always forget the grandpa.

1:02:10 Drew I'm sorry, I figured the part.

1:02:12 Adam Chris, you're 16. What's up?

1:02:16 Drew All right.

1:02:17 Caller See, I don't know how long this has been going on. Just kind of, you know, probably ever since around since I was nine. But the whole concept and possibility of communal showers is always like, you know, instilled in me an intense sense of fear.

1:02:31 Drew Of what?

1:02:32 Caller Fear?

1:02:32 Drew Of what?

1:02:33 Riki Rachtman Oh, adequacy.

1:02:34 Caller I don't know.

1:02:35 Drew You don't like being naked around your peers? You're afraid of bacteria? What is the issue?

1:02:40 Caller I can't place it on anything specific, right?

1:02:43 Riki Rachtman Did you have an experience? When I was in junior high school, I was really, really scared to take a shower. I mean, I would make every excuse and wait to be the last one to change, so I didn't have to take a shower in the shower with all the guys.

1:02:55 Adam Now he had all those tats. He didn't want the guys making fun of him.

1:02:58 Caller I can't place anything on anything specific, but I'm pretty sure, you know, it's not like I'm not really embarrassed about my physique, so to say.

1:03:06 Adam But all right, well, listen, don't do it.

1:03:10 Caller Well, I mean, like, how can you? Why is it there?

1:03:12 Adam Listen, I played three years of high school baseball, three years of high school football, never got in a shower with a whole bunch of guys.

1:03:21 Drew Why?

1:03:22 Adam I just went home after practice or whatever the hell it was.

1:03:25 Riki Rachtman The communal shower happened in later lives when you started doing that?

1:03:28 Adam Well, that was more of a bath.

1:03:30 Drew Yeah, it was a bath house.

1:03:31 Adam Well, listen, it was a house with a bath in it. It was not a bath house, per se, with multi baths in it.

1:03:38 Riki Rachtman I think that type of thing is something that's a normal fear.

1:03:41 Adam Yeah, I agree. And it is something that could easily be avoided if you like.

1:03:47 Riki Rachtman Now, on the other hand, if you were like, I can't wait for communal showers, that would be something. So look at it that way. Say, you know what? I feel nervous. It'd be a lot better. Like, you know what? I'm going to take PE twice just so I can take a shower with all the fellas.

1:03:58 Adam Because that is, you know what, Riki, you bring up a great point. I go out to eat some place, sometimes at this place called Hugo's. I sit down every time. I always order the woman's juice. And they sell that now?

1:04:13 Riki Rachtman Wow.

1:04:13 Adam This is going to come full circle.

1:04:14 Riki Rachtman Women's juice?

1:04:15 Adam Women's juice. And everyone I sit with always makes fun of me for ordering the woman's juice. But I say to them, would you be happier if I ordered the man juice? And then they all shut up. So I agree with Riki on that.

1:04:27 Riki Rachtman Women's juice.

1:04:28 Adam Better to be scared to shower communally.

1:04:31 Riki Rachtman Women.

1:04:31 Adam Than looking forward to it.

1:04:33 Riki Rachtman Am I missing something? They sell women's juice.

1:04:36 Adam It's a drink they call woman's juice.

1:04:39 Riki Rachtman Because every woman's juice is different.

1:04:41 Adam This tastes good.

1:04:44 Riki Rachtman Some women.

1:04:46 Adam No, not like this. This is honey. Jennifer.

1:04:52 Riki Rachtman Hello.

1:04:53 Drew Sleeping. Jennifer asleep.

1:04:54 Riki Rachtman What?

1:04:55 Drew There you are.

1:04:55 Adam What's up?

1:04:56 Riki Rachtman Sorry.

1:04:57 Adam What's up?

1:04:59 Riki Rachtman I have a question about my boyfriend. He keeps asking me, we've had sex like three times now, and he keeps asking me to give him moral sex. And I keep telling him no. And I don't want to break up with him because we've been together for like two years now.

1:05:18 Riki Rachtman Does he give it to you?

1:05:20 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

1:05:21 Drew You just don't want to do this?

1:05:22 Adam No.

1:05:23 Drew Okay.

1:05:23 Adam What happened to you?

1:05:25 Riki Rachtman Nothing happened to me. It's just like it's gross.

1:05:28 Riki Rachtman Does he shower?

1:05:29 Drew It stinks, that we said?

1:05:30 Riki Rachtman It's like gross.

1:05:32 Riki Rachtman Does he shower and does he... Okay, does he shower? Does he keep his thing clean?

1:05:37 Riki Rachtman Yes.

1:05:39 Riki Rachtman Does he shave?

1:05:40 Riki Rachtman Yes.

1:05:41 Riki Rachtman Down there?

1:05:42 Riki Rachtman I don't know.

1:05:43 Drew She's just 18.

1:05:45 Adam Hold on. Jennifer's 18. Sounds like she's 13. I don't know.

1:05:49 Caller I'm not 12.

1:05:50 Adam What's up with you?

1:05:52 Caller No, it's just that...

1:05:54 Riki Rachtman He's my first boyfriend that I've ever had sex with, okay? And we've been going out for a year and six months now. And we've been going at it for what? Six months now?

1:06:09 Adam Six and a half, actually, because you guys started... You guys started in November.

1:06:14 Drew November would be six months.

1:06:16 Adam Oh, yeah, late October, that's right.

1:06:18 Riki Rachtman Whatever.

1:06:20 Riki Rachtman But it was after midnight, 30.

1:06:22 Adam Anderson?

1:06:24 Drew Oh, my God. That sort of just erupted.

1:06:28 Adam Yeah, she said...

1:06:29 Riki Rachtman I liked it.

1:06:31 Adam She loves the way he has me.

1:06:33 Riki Rachtman But can I get that on a loop, please?

1:06:35 Adam That would be good.

1:06:37 Riki Rachtman I have a long drive home.

1:06:38 Drew There's something up with Jennifer.

1:06:39 Adam Jennifer is either... She's either suffered some trauma to the head or was in some...

1:06:48 Riki Rachtman Or had some sort of trauma during...

1:06:50 Adam State of, like, emotional retardation or something.

1:06:54 Caller All right.

1:06:55 Adam Jennifer?

1:06:56 Caller Yeah?

1:06:56 Adam Listen, no more cussing, you little screwball.

1:06:58 Caller I'm sorry.

1:06:59 Adam Now I'm going to get to the bottom of you.

1:07:01 Caller Okay.

1:07:02 Adam Where's your daddy?

1:07:03 Caller He's downstairs.

1:07:05 Caller Why?

1:07:05 Adam He's downstairs, meaning hell?

1:07:09 Caller No.

1:07:11 Drew Where's your mom?

1:07:13 Riki Rachtman She's in bed with my dad, I guess. I don't know. They're sleeping.

1:07:17 Adam All right. Is anyone drink in your family?

1:07:20 Riki Rachtman My daddy is too.

1:07:21 Riki Rachtman What does this mean? Let me interrupt for one second. What does it mean? Adam's doodling, but you know what he doodled?

1:07:26 Drew Numbers.

1:07:26 Riki Rachtman 666.

1:07:27 Adam Well, because I said in hell and I was thinking the devil.

1:07:30 Riki Rachtman I thought it had something to do with me being 666.

1:07:32 Drew So he's a recovering person now?

1:07:34 Riki Rachtman My dad, he was never an alcoholic. Well, I mean, he drank heavily, but it wasn't to the point where he was like, he had to drink every night or whatever.

1:07:44 Drew That does not mean an alcoholic.

1:07:45 Adam All right. And did he ever beat on you at all?

1:07:47 Riki Rachtman She doesn't want to go down on her boyfriend and all of a sudden it's bad. Everything has to do with alcohol because she doesn't want to give him a hummer.

1:07:55 Adam She's screwy, this Jennifer.

1:07:57 Caller How am I screwy?

1:07:59 Adam Any trauma involving a penis?

1:08:01 Drew Were you raped or anything?

1:08:03 Riki Rachtman No, I was choked when I was in kindergarten by a fifth grader but that's how that is.

1:08:08 Riki Rachtman Sexually choked?

1:08:09 Caller No, I wasn't sexually choked.

1:08:11 Riki Rachtman Something put down your throat choked?

1:08:13 Caller No.

1:08:14 Adam Well listen, then give your boyfriend a BJ, would you? If everything's good with you.

1:08:19 Riki Rachtman If you don't want to, don't do it. If he stinks, tell him to wash that stuff up and then maybe try it. And if he wants to break up with you because you won't do it, then you know that he's only into one thing.

1:08:29 Adam And listen, everybody, even if you're insane, it's okay to act sane, right? Meaning you could go, listen, I'm 18, I'm having a sexual relationship with a long-term, long-time committed boyfriend, he's going down on me and I'm freaked out about going down on him. I don't know why, maybe it's because I got choked in the fifth grade, maybe because dad boozed too much, whatever it is, but stop for a minute and go, you know what, I kind of have to do that. I know I got my own weird ass about it, I mean everyone should do this in every facet of life.

1:09:01 Riki Rachtman But you have to go down on him?

1:09:03 Drew No, no, no, no, you're missing the point.

1:09:04 Riki Rachtman Because all of a sudden I'm watching this and I'm like, I think that's the wrong advice, I think it's good advice, but it's the wrong advice, and Drew's agreeing like yeah, you have to go down there, play the horn.

1:09:13 Drew Think like our listeners.

1:09:14 Adam No, I was saying that.

1:09:17 Drew Yeah, but you were saying it as a symbol of some larger behavior that people need to engage in. It's not all about hummers.

1:09:24 Adam I am saying every once in a while, every time I go to a wedding or a funeral, I have the urge to stand up and yell something about effing Hitler, you know, I really do. That impulse shoots through me like a bolt of lightning at every funeral and every wedding, and probably a bar mitzvah too. Only part time on bar mitzvahs. But you know what? I don't do it. And the reason I don't do it is because I go, what would a sane person do right now? And that person would sit there and, you know, clasp his hands in front of them and nod his head. And I think we all have impulses to do either strange things or there's things we know we should be doing that we don't want to do, but that sane people do. And I'm saying everybody, stand back from your own life a little, hover over yourself, take a look down, and act like a sane person. All right. Riki Rachtman is our guest tonight. We'll take our little break and we'll be back. Hey, hey, hey, it's Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rob Schneider is going to be in here on Thursday. Next week, Brooke Burke. You know her from Wild On, the E! Channel show. I'm telling you...

1:10:50 Drew Was she here once before?

1:10:51 Adam No. The most beautiful woman on television. Drew, you don't hear me talking too much about too many women on this show. This woman is stunning. Can't wait to see her next week. And of course, tonight, Riki Rachtman is with us.

1:11:05 Riki Rachtman We had pie.

1:11:07 Adam The Cat House is going to be reopening.

1:11:10 Riki Rachtman Yeah, here. I'll do my 10-second complete horror. I'm reopening up my rock club called the Cat House. You can check it out at clubcathouse.com and also send me email there. And I'm also hosting the show Thunderbox, which is on TV. Check your local listings and buy my skateboards at poolschool.net. God, I'm a whore!

1:11:27 Adam Logan?

1:11:28 Riki Rachtman Yeah. And I'll be appearing at your local Waffle House.

1:11:31 Adam You're 15.

1:11:32 Drew Liar! Liar whore!

1:11:33 Riki Rachtman Liar whore! You know it! I resemble that remark.

1:11:37 Drew Logan.

1:11:38 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

1:11:38 Caller What's up?

1:11:39 Caller First off, Dr. Drew, I just want to say I really love what you're doing with Helping Teens. I think you're awesome.

1:11:45 Drew Thanks, Logan.

1:11:45 Caller And Adam, despite all the jokes and the light insults, you really do have great instincts and your advice really does help people.

1:11:52 Adam Oh, thanks, Logan.

1:11:55 Caller Well, I have, there's this girl that I've known since first grade. We've been friends, best friends since first grade. We've always talked, we've always kept in touch throughout the years and now I'm starting to have feelings for her.

1:12:08 Drew Right.

1:12:09 Caller And I'm not sure if I should ask her out and risk.

1:12:14 Drew No, I would. This is the one exception to the rule.

1:12:17 Adam Because he hasn't been hot on her for the last six years.

1:12:20 Drew Yeah, this is the one exception. Probably she has very intimate feelings about him. She may not have thought of him that way, but may be open to it.

1:12:26 Adam Well, wait a minute. Let's just make sure Logan wasn't hot on her since the third grade. Logan, be honest, when did you find yourself becoming attracted to her?

1:12:36 Riki Rachtman After a dream.

1:12:37 Caller Probably since, I don't know, maybe six months ago.

1:12:41 Adam Six months?

1:12:42 Caller Around that time.

1:12:42 Adam You've known her all those years and you didn't have a crush on her when you were 13?

1:12:47 Caller No, she was always kind of like my sister. That's how we've always been.

1:12:53 Adam No, now he wants to bang the bejesus out of his sister. That's what I love about turning 15. Okay, and you think she may like you?

1:13:02 Caller Yeah.

1:13:02 Adam You do? Why do you think that?

1:13:03 Riki Rachtman Let's call her. Can we call her? Can we call her? Can we do that here? Can we call her right now?

1:13:09 Caller No, she's already sleeping.

1:13:10 Riki Rachtman Well, we need to wake her up. This is something important.

1:13:13 Adam She needs some help.

1:13:14 Riki Rachtman We could either create a great love relationship or destroy a long lasting friendship.

1:13:18 Adam Yeah, or have her dad kill both of them. So, why do you think she's into you?

1:13:26 Caller Well, I just, I just think that...

1:13:30 Adam Because you're into her?

1:13:32 Caller Well, not because of that, but just...

1:13:33 Adam That used to be my criteria in high school, by the way.

1:13:36 Caller But just because we've been talking for so long about our own relationships, about how we view certain things.

1:13:43 Adam Alright, Logan. Go ask her out.

1:13:45 Drew Yeah, this is one exception to our rule.

1:13:47 Adam Alright, but don't do it in any uncertain terms.

1:13:50 Drew Yeah. Okay.

1:13:51 Adam You must ask her out.

1:13:54 Riki Rachtman Afternoon things are good.

1:13:54 Drew She has to get the message that you're crossing over. That's where you want to go, is out of Friendville, into Relation-dom.

1:14:01 Right.

1:14:02 Riki Rachtman Relation-dom?

1:14:03 Adam Into Hump City. And I disagree with lunch, because these guys have been friends for so many years. This is too friendly.

1:14:11 Riki Rachtman So you want to have dinner and breakfast.

1:14:13 Adam You need a date, yeah. You need a nighttime, bring her a couple of flowers and a rope head. Roofy, ether rag, duct tape, a real date.

1:14:22 Drew And she may or may not be open to this. We'll see.

1:14:25 Adam Okay. Well, no, we won't. He will. Kim?

1:14:27 Drew Hey, get Logan's number, call him back. Ann?

1:14:30 Adam Hello?

1:14:31 Drew Tara. Oh my God.

1:14:33 Adam Tara.

1:14:34 Drew Tara.

1:14:35 Riki Rachtman That's what comes... Tora.

1:14:37 Adam Tara, Tara, Tara.

1:14:38 Drew Wait, what was the house in Gone With the Wind?

1:14:41 Adam That was Tara.

1:14:42 Drew Tara. Yeah. And she's Tara?

1:14:44 Adam I think she's Tara.

1:14:45 Drew Tara.

1:14:45 Riki Rachtman So you're saying she's a house?

1:14:46 Adam We're trying to figure out our phones.

1:14:48 Drew Tara, like the Gone With the Wind.

1:14:50 Adam Yeah. Kim?

1:14:51 Caller What?

1:14:52 Adam You're 18.

1:14:53 Caller Yeah, me.

1:14:53 Adam Go ahead.

1:14:55 Caller Okay.

1:14:55 Adam Drew doesn't know he's on the radio sometimes. You have to forgive him.

1:14:58 Drew I've been on too long.

1:14:59 Caller Okay.

1:15:01 Adam Hold on a second. I really, I would like to do a four-hour taped docudrama on all of Drew's sort of... He's been entitled. He's been on the radio for 18 years and doesn't know it. All those when people set the coffee down. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you. All the holding up. Warm up. Warm up. No.

1:15:24 Drew No, talking through the window here. Yeah, yeah.

1:15:26 Adam Talking into the window to Ann, whose back is turned to him while she's playing Pac-Man on the computer saying... Ann speaking in code about stuff that the listeners could never know of. That's what I love. All right.

1:15:39 Riki Rachtman Good times.

1:15:42 Adam Let's get back to Kim.

1:15:43 Riki Rachtman Oh, okay.

1:15:44 Adam What's up?

1:15:44 Riki Rachtman Okay.

1:15:45 Caller I have been like... My ex-boyfriend and I, we've been friends ever since we broke up.

1:15:50 How do people do that?

1:15:52 Riki Rachtman Oh, well, I met him at a boy's home.

1:15:55 Drew What does that mean?

1:15:57 Riki Rachtman He was...

1:15:58 Drew Bad.

1:15:59 Riki Rachtman Like a huge... I don't know.

1:16:00 Riki Rachtman Took out jail.

1:16:02 Riki Rachtman Like when they're locked up, so to say.

1:16:04 Drew Here's how they remain friends. Somebody's getting something out of the relationship.

1:16:07 Riki Rachtman Sex.

1:16:08 Drew Yeah.

1:16:09 Riki Rachtman No. Oh, yeah. Okay.

1:16:10 Caller Anyway, we'll go with that.

1:16:12 Drew There you go.

1:16:13 Caller We'll go with that.

1:16:14 Riki Rachtman But anyways, we've been like recently started seeing each other again, I guess, so to say. And he's still with his ex... Or with his girlfriend.

1:16:21 Drew Listen, Kim, didn't you hear what I just said? He's getting sex out of this. That's it. That's all.

1:16:27 Riki Rachtman Hold on. Hold on. There's more to it. But his girlfriend is the girl that he cheated on me with.

1:16:33 Drew Yeah, it's his girlfriend.

1:16:35 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

1:16:35 Riki Rachtman Now he's cheating on her with you.

1:16:36 Drew Now he's having sex with you and that's it. Just sex. Just sex.

1:16:39 Caller Wait.

1:16:39 Adam Hold on.

1:16:40 Drew Hold on.

1:16:40 Adam He has crabs.

1:16:41 Caller Wait.

1:16:42 Adam Hold on.

1:16:43 Riki Rachtman I'm pregnant.

1:16:43 Adam He worshiped Satan.

1:16:44 Caller Wait.

1:16:45 Adam Hold on. Hold on. He doesn't have a car.

1:16:47 Caller Yeah.

1:16:48 Adam It's all bad, Kim.

1:16:49 Caller Oh, I know.

1:16:50 Adam He's a bad guy. You should not be dating him.

1:16:52 Caller He's my best friend.

1:16:53 Drew No.

1:16:53 Riki Rachtman And the bad ones are the ones that the sex is so good.

1:16:55 Drew Best friends don't.

1:16:56 Caller Well, see, the thing is we just barely had sex for like the first...

1:16:59 Riki Rachtman We actually barely fooled around for like the first time like two weeks ago. And I found out like three days ago he lied to me about having sex with his girlfriend.

1:17:07 Caller Duh.

1:17:09 Drew I know.

1:17:09 Riki Rachtman He's shooting on you to be with her and then he's shooting on her to be with you.

1:17:14 Drew What's it going to take, Kim? What is it going to take?

1:17:16 Caller I don't know. See, I'm stupid.

1:17:18 Caller Yes, right.

1:17:20 Adam You're not supposed to agree with me. Why are you supposed to talk around with me? I didn't have anything nice to say so I didn't say it at all. But Kim.

1:17:27 Caller I know.

1:17:28 Adam Listen, baby. What is up with your self-esteem?

1:17:31 Caller I don't have anything.

1:17:32 Adam I know. I know. What happened?

1:17:35 Caller I don't know. I was doing great.

1:17:36 Riki Rachtman And then he, like, decided to put me in my life.

1:17:38 Adam No, not him. Not him.

1:17:40 Riki Rachtman Just me in general?

1:17:41 Adam No. Yeah. You in general. Long before he came around.

1:17:44 Caller I don't know.

1:17:45 Adam Well, whatever it is, you better work it out.

1:17:47 Riki Rachtman Okay.

1:17:48 Drew Abandonment.

1:17:49 Adam Okay.

1:17:50 Drew Who abandoned you? Who abandoned you?

1:17:53 Riki Rachtman I don't know. My parents are both together.

1:17:57 Adam Really?

1:17:58 Caller Yeah.

1:17:58 Adam And everyone was good to you? Did they make you feel wanted?

1:18:02 Caller I don't know.

1:18:05 Caller I had a screwed up life.

1:18:06 Drew Yeah. There you go.

1:18:07 Riki Rachtman Haven't we all? But must we always use that as an excuse?

1:18:11 Drew Yeah, we can feel it from Kim.

1:18:12 Riki Rachtman I was never hit though or anything.

1:18:14 Adam Okay, but listen.

1:18:15 Drew No, we didn't say hit.

1:18:15 Riki Rachtman That's the problem.

1:18:16 Adam The remedy to a screwed up life is not hooking up with someone who's even more screwed up than you are.

1:18:21 Caller That feels good.

1:18:22 Adam Really, everybody who is sort of insane should look for super sane people to pull them back towards sanity. Not more effed up people to drag them down into the abyss.

1:18:32 Riki Rachtman The more screwed up the two individuals are, the better the sex. Sorry. Big long silence. I was hoping somebody gave me an amen.

1:18:41 Adam It's good for two weeks and then it gets really chaotic and then the sex gets good again and then someone gets pregnant while you two are breaking up and then the kid grows up in the middle of a rock tumbler for a family and it's a mess. I mean, really, I'm telling you everybody, if you find sane people to hang around with, you'll actually become saner yourself or vice versa. You start dating felons, you'll go down that path too. All right. Someone wants to wish me a happy birthday. Michael?

1:19:14 Caller Hello?

1:19:16 Adam What happened? You're 14?

1:19:17 Caller Yeah.

1:19:18 Adam You're a guy?

1:19:19 Caller Yeah.

1:19:20 Drew When you're asleep?

1:19:22 Riki Rachtman No, not really.

1:19:23 Drew Not really, huh?

1:19:23 Adam Okay. What's up?

1:19:25 Caller I just want to say happy birthday, Adam.

1:19:27 Adam Well, thanks.

1:19:29 Caller And me and my friend James really appreciate your show and The Man Show.

1:19:34 Adam Well, thanks.

1:19:35 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

1:19:37 Riki Rachtman I bet in 14 he learns more from The Man Show than Loveline.

1:19:40 Adam Yeah, probably.

1:19:41 Drew How do you figure?

1:19:42 Adam Well, it's more spankable.

1:19:44 Best show on television, The Man Show.

1:19:46 Drew Jesse Ventura.

1:19:48 Caller Yeah, I listen to The Love Line all the time.

1:19:50 Drew Oh, now you're impressed with him. I know he's impressed.

1:19:52 Caller Play the rest.

1:19:53 Riki Rachtman Jesse Ventura was the best. I love, you know what? How I could have been raised in Hollywood, I don't know, because I am so incredible white trash. I love wrestling. Incredible. I love incredible white trash. I am. I love that. See, I like that dang banjo music, too. Love Waffle House, love wrestling, love NASCAR.

1:20:08 Drew How is Waffle House?

1:20:09 Riki Rachtman And I live in Huntington Beach.

1:20:10 Drew No, no. How is Waffle House? We haven't even talked about it.

1:20:13 Riki Rachtman Oh, my God. I love, well, remember when I came here talking about Krispy Kreme before the whole Krispy Kreme thing started? Waffle House, they don't have Waffle Houses in Southern California. When I was working for WCW, Waffle House, in California, they do this thing where they rate the coffee shops like A, B, and if you're really bad, C or D. Waffle House is, thank God they don't rate them because you wouldn't eat there. Yet, there's always like a woman without a tooth working there that'll tell you a story. They have a jukebox in place, Waffle House songs. Denny's is trying to kind of rip them off now the way they prepare their hash browns because you can get them smothered and scattered and covered. It's just these little things like in Atlanta, they're on every single truck, at every single off ramp. I love Waffle House.

1:20:58 Drew The 14 letter sign is 18 stories in the air.

1:21:00 Riki Rachtman I love Waffle House. Waffle House, Krispy Kreme, and occasionally Steak and Shake. And I'm set. That's it for me.

1:21:07 Adam And if you go to www.wafflehouse.rickierachtman.com I've been there.

1:21:12 Riki Rachtman You can download parts of their songs. That's pretty, I'm bad. How I could have been raised in Hollywood, I don't know.

1:21:19 Adam Well, first off, Van Nuys, right?

1:21:22 Riki Rachtman No, no, no. I only lived in Van Nuys for a little bit, but then I lived in Hollywood.

1:21:26 Drew Poisoned. Poisoned.

1:21:27 Adam Yeah.

1:21:27 Drew It takes about three weeks in Van Nuys, you're done.

1:21:29 Riki Rachtman Okay, I lived there for a couple years.

1:21:31 Adam People don't realize that the San Fernando Valley, there are a lot of hillbillies.

1:21:36 Riki Rachtman It's Mexican in Van Nuys.

1:21:38 Adam It is Mexico. It was Arkansas for a while.

1:21:41 Riki Rachtman No, when I was there it was always like BVN, Barrio Van Nuys when I was a kid.

1:21:45 Adam Oh, really?

1:21:45 Riki Rachtman Yeah.

1:21:46 Adam It was not a lot of white trash there?

1:21:48 Riki Rachtman No.

1:21:48 Adam I grew up as more white trash there.

1:21:50 Riki Rachtman I grew up as like probably normal kid from LA. And in my later life decided that I felt better becoming white trash, so I did everything I can from driving a truck to watching NASCAR to preferring to eat at Waffle Houses. I don't know how it happened, but...

1:22:04 Adam All right. Hey Anderson, get Ricky a shot of that Governor Reven term.

1:22:10 Riki Rachtman It's a show on television, The Man Show. Oh, the best.

1:22:13 Adam If you can take it as a show... What is it?

1:22:16 Riki Rachtman What is it?

1:22:17 Caller It's a show for guys.

1:22:19 Riki Rachtman Yeah, it's a show that I'm so surprised that the women's groups are not protesting it.

1:22:25 Riki Rachtman And is it on cable?

1:22:26 Riki Rachtman It's on the Comedy Channel.

1:22:28 Riki Rachtman I'm writing this down.

1:22:29 Riki Rachtman 9.30 on Wednesdays.

1:22:31 Riki Rachtman God, that is awesome. Have you ever met him?

1:22:35 Adam No, I can't get him on the show. His people will not let him do the show because they're scaring you.

1:22:41 Riki Rachtman I think it's a lot of people's people. Because I remember I tried to help Ann get Dale Earnhardt Jr. on the show. Which would be great because Dale Earnhardt Jr. is an awesome guy. For anybody that's new to racing, he's like us, so root for him. But I was trying to get him on the show and his people were saying, what are you going to talk about people sticking their butts for? People's people, I think a lot of the people would do the show, they're just people.

1:23:08 Adam Let me tell you all who are listening to this show something. What you don't know is what goes on behind the scenes is there's a lot of people called publicists who I despise and there's a lot of other people just fall under the heading of people. Yeah, people's people. And these people, they get in between you and a good time. And you and the truth and you and entertainment.

1:23:30 Riki Rachtman But now that you guys are such big huge industry giants, or Higgs, as we call them, you guys have a lot of people. Dr. Drew has a lot of people. Adam, you have a lot of people. I have your own people.

1:23:40 Adam I may have my peeps, but I have anything. No. Well, I know you haven't just drew.

1:23:47 Drew He has he has a team of people.

1:23:49 Adam Well, that's only I don't even have a gardener. These people are a man show related and that's that's cool.

1:23:56 Riki Rachtman You got your own people.

1:23:57 Adam All right. But the point is, is Jesse Ventura will not be on the man show, even though it's his favorite man show on television, because he has people.

1:24:05 Drew If we wanted to be on a show, we'd be on the show. Right. You know.

1:24:09 Adam Yes.

1:24:09 Drew All right.

1:24:09 Adam Should we take a little break?

1:24:12 Drew Everyone told me not to do that man show skit I did for you.

1:24:14 Adam God bless you. We'll be back.

1:24:19 Loveline will be right back, so get your problems right.

1:24:22 Riki Rachtman Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, this is Fat or Slim.

1:24:25 Caller You're listening to Loveline with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Wow.

1:24:30 Adam There you are.

1:24:31 Riki Rachtman He's a funkso brother, you know.

1:24:34 Adam That is Riki Rachtman.

1:24:35 Drew Check it out.

1:24:35 Riki Rachtman Check it out now. Oh, you're hip with all the music these days, aren't you, Drew? What bands do you like now?

1:24:40 Drew I like the Insane Clown Posse.

1:24:41 Riki Rachtman Do you like? Are you into ICP?

1:24:43 Drew Check that. Play the joke here. I want Riki to hear that. Here you go.

1:24:45 Adam I stand with them.

1:24:46 Caller Ready?

1:24:48 Caller The only weight I lift is my own. My big fat ass every day when I wake up. That was pretty good! My fat ass when I wake up!

1:24:57 Caller Oh my God!

1:24:58 Caller Hey, play that again!

1:25:01 Riki Rachtman When I was with WCW, ICP were wrestling on that. And they're good wrestlers. They were really actually good. They did a good job.

1:25:10 Adam Yeah. Well, they gotta be good at something.

1:25:14 Riki Rachtman You know, there's all these like clown bands now. You know, all these bands. And there's this one video, this video. Have you seen that band Mudvane? They look awesome.

1:25:23 Adam I've heard of them.

1:25:24 Riki Rachtman So I'm watching, you know, the MTV, because there's rare times these days when MTV will play a music video. And I am embarrassed to say that I dig that band so much. And they're, I mean...

1:25:34 Adam Mudvane was in here.

1:25:36 Riki Rachtman Now, were they cool? Because I like that song.

1:25:39 Drew I don't remember having a negative vibe to them.

1:25:41 Riki Rachtman Did they have all their crazy makeup on?

1:25:43 Drew No.

1:25:44 Adam No, but they had the remnants of their crazy makeup on, didn't they?

1:25:48 Riki Rachtman The only way I'm starting to feel...

1:25:49 Drew Who's the one that wears the mask?

1:25:50 Riki Rachtman That's Slipknot.

1:25:51 Drew Slipknot wears the mask.

1:25:52 Riki Rachtman See, and I saw them and I'm like, oh, old guy, like, oh God, Slipknot, they look dumb. And then I hear the song and I dig them for once. And as far as music goes, I think right now there's better new rock bands than there have been in like 15 years. There's a lot of...

1:26:05 Drew 15 years.

1:26:06 Riki Rachtman Oh yeah, well no, 15 years, since 18 years, since 1995, okay, 10 years. Six years. Whatever. There haven't been any good rock bands for a long time and I think right now there's so many good bands.

1:26:17 Drew Who are the guys we like, the young guys? I don't know. I've had it with you.

1:26:22 Riki Rachtman They're all right.

1:26:23 Adam Didn't Mudvayne...

1:26:24 Riki Rachtman I like Mudvayne.

1:26:26 Adam Who were we just talking about before that?

1:26:28 Mudvayne.

1:26:28 Adam Oh, Mudvayne, didn't the guy come in here from that? They had their show at the Palladium.

1:26:33 Right off the stage.

1:26:33 Adam And he walked right in. And he still had red makeup.

1:26:35 Caller So did you shut up, Drew, for Christ's sake?

1:26:38 Riki Rachtman It's like, my problem is like there's certain bands that now... You know, I've always known a lot of people in bands. And now there's all these new bands that I'm just getting into that I'm a really big fan of. And I don't want to meet them because if they're dorks, I hate their music. Just like...

1:26:50 Drew Actually, weren't those guys that they were sort of... Like, their attitude was they were expecting to not like this show. And they came out real fast. And got into it real...

1:26:58 Adam Oh, I can't remember anything. Fog Hat, that's all I know.

1:27:02 Riki Rachtman Was it Lonesome Day Fair?

1:27:04 Adam In UFO.

1:27:05 Riki Rachtman That was funny for three people listening.

1:27:08 Caller Yes.

1:27:09 Adam You're 26. What's up?

1:27:11 Caller Yeah, I was just wondering about any...

1:27:15 Caller Any precautions that I may need to take or whatnot.

1:27:17 Caller I'm interested in this guy who has his penis pierced.

1:27:21 Drew What kind of piercing?

1:27:23 Caller It's from top to bottom.

1:27:25 Caller All the way through.

1:27:26 Drew You mean like a...

1:27:27 Caller I can't pronounce it.

1:27:28 Drew The Prince Albert? Ampullae?

1:27:30 Riki Rachtman I believe...

1:27:31 Caller Well, it's like the Prince Albert plus the one on top together.

1:27:33 Drew Nice. Good times. Yeah. You have to get the reinforced condoms, which most of the piercing shops will give you.

1:27:39 Adam Truck inner tube, the one that go down the river with...

1:27:43 Drew Well, you could raft it, but it's generally a good...

1:27:45 Riki Rachtman It's made by Voigt.

1:27:47 Drew But you want to make sure the condoms are reinforced at the tip. Wait, Chrissy.

1:27:49 Riki Rachtman I wear a clip-on.

1:27:50 Adam Here's what you really have to worry about. You're interested in a guy who thought it'd be a good idea to put a spear through one side of his penis and out the other. That's really...

1:27:59 Riki Rachtman That's the piece sitting down every time, don't they?

1:28:02 Adam In the big picture, that's going to haunt you more than the actual chafing. You understand?

1:28:08 Riki Rachtman Got you. But girl piercing's okay.

1:28:10 Adam I don't mind that.

1:28:11 Drew Relative to what?

1:28:13 Riki Rachtman Guy piercings.

1:28:13 Adam Guy and an aggressive guy piercing.

1:28:17 Riki Rachtman He's mad at his...

1:28:18 Adam Yeah, if a guy wants to wear a hoop and a sack, hey, that's his business.

1:28:21 Riki Rachtman But if a girl wants to do it, it's okay.

1:28:22 Caller Why is it okay for a girl to date Ricky?

1:28:24 Riki Rachtman Because they look all right.

1:28:26 Drew Ricky likes goofy women.

1:28:28 Riki Rachtman I don't like goofy... I think it's...

1:28:29 Drew You just said that you like the craziness that goes with good sex.

1:28:33 Riki Rachtman But when you stick it... I mean, the guy's thing... I don't know.

1:28:36 Drew It's more of a commitment to us.

1:28:38 Riki Rachtman I mean, I had my nose and other stuff, but I could never do my... Well, also because I just think it would hurt too much. I just don't get it.

1:28:45 Drew You and I saw a piercing, a penis pierced. Remember?

1:28:49 Riki Rachtman I looked away. I don't like that. I don't... I can swatch a lot, but watching that jab didn't...

1:28:54 Drew Yeah, good times.

1:28:57 Adam Bob? Bob, you're 21. What's up?

1:29:02 Caller Got a question. My fiance went through her pre-marital exam and the doctor has given her hymenal lining dilators and I was wondering if this was normal.

1:29:13 Drew It must have been kind of narrow in there. I mean, that's not the usual thing.

1:29:17 Riki Rachtman That means she's tight?

1:29:18 Drew Yeah, and maybe she's concerned about it and doesn't want to go through the discomfort when you guys are actually together. It suggests she's a virgin, which is, is that the case?

1:29:25 Yes.

1:29:25 Riki Rachtman Yeah, she's a virgin?

1:29:27 Uh-huh.

1:29:28 Adam Why do you have to get a pre-marital exam? Do they normally get that?

1:29:32 Riki Rachtman It's the same thing when you get a car. You want to take it to a mechanic first and just make sure everything's working before you take it for the big...

1:29:37 Adam Have a guy know his way around under the hood, kick the tires a few times.

1:29:42 Drew Maybe she's going to get on the pill or something.

1:29:43 Adam Make sure you're not getting a lemon. Hey, Bob?

1:29:46 Caller Yeah, it was more to get her on the pill.

1:29:47 Adam Yeah, that's what I see. All right. How old is she? 19. I see. And yeah?

1:29:54 Caller I've got one more question. She was debating on whether she should take herbal breast enlargement pills or not.

1:30:01 Drew Doesn't work. Doesn't work.

1:30:03 Caller OK, I wasn't really concerned if it would work or not. I was more concerned about the health risks.

1:30:07 Drew Well, I don't know what Xander would have to say, but it's a total BS.

1:30:11 Caller That's what I assume.

1:30:12 Riki Rachtman Yeah, there is no pill or any of that stuff.

1:30:16 Drew Is that right?

1:30:17 Adam No, there's no herb. OK, that's Drew doing more great radio, by the way. Is that right? Ricky's in the middle of making a statement. Drew is going to say, is that right? And then I look, I'm sitting in the studio and I'm confused. I'm like, well, he's really agreeing with this Rachtman. The guy didn't even finish a sentence. He's agreeing with him.

1:30:35 Riki Rachtman He's that damn good.

1:30:37 Adam Drew, what were you saying?

1:30:39 Drew Why don't you guys say it on the air if you want me to respond?

1:30:41 Riki Rachtman You know what about boob pills?

1:30:42 Drew They don't work.

1:30:43 Riki Rachtman I said it.

1:30:45 Caller They sponsor us, so stop.

1:30:46 Adam Okay, but Anderson, don't talk to Drew.

1:30:47 Riki Rachtman Well, those ones work.

1:30:49 Adam Don't talk to him about anything.

1:30:50 Caller He likes it when I talk to him.

1:30:52 Adam Yeah, because he can have his own conversation with you at the expense of everyone who listens to the show. Is that right? He yells into the microphone. Okay, Drew, you want to sock the mic? I'm going to do another four hour mini-series on you just punching the microphone while we're on the air. Okay, let's take a break. We'll regroup. We'll be back.

1:31:14 This is your radio.

1:31:19 Adam Alright, well, there it is. Time flies when you're reminiscing. Riki, why don't you give the Cat House...

1:31:26 Riki Rachtman Thank you so much. Yes, let me do that. My world famous rock and roll club is very small, but it is opening up again and you can find out everything about it on clubcathouse.com and my skateboard company is poolschool.net and you can see me on Thunderbox, which is sometimes on Sunday afternoons and Saturday nights.

1:31:45 Adam It's repeated and moved around. I see it all the time.

1:31:48 Riki Rachtman Yes, it is, but it's good. It's good heavyweight boxing.

1:31:50 Adam Absolutely.

1:31:51 Riki Rachtman And thank you guys for letting me in. Thank you, Ann, the producer, for letting me be back on the show because this is always fun.

1:31:56 Adam And thanks for coming on the show.

1:31:58 Riki Rachtman And happy birthday, Adam.

1:31:59 Adam Thank you, Riki. Rob Schneider will be up on Thursday and until then, this is Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:07 Drew I'm homosexual. I'm freaked out about it. I'm trying to be heterosexual, but I have these overwhelming homosexual feelings.

1:32:14 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff management sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Dingle. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Tuesday, May 29, 2001