Episode 1000754887002

1:01 Voiceover Listener discretion is advised. Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew. Loveline, coast to coast.

1:13 Voiceover If it is Loveline, I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist. We're happy to welcome back to the show tonight, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Oh, wait a minute. I've got to get some coffee in me so I can... Give me like a...

1:34 Shmuley Boteach Gargle, gargle of coffee so you can pronounce my name.

1:36 Adam Give me some chocolate.

1:38 Shmuley Boteach I ate some chocolate.

1:39 Drew Last time I saw Rabbi, I think he was having his ninth child.

1:42 Or eighth?

1:44 Shmuley Boteach We just had our seventh.

1:44 Drew Seventh.

1:45 Shmuley Boteach But it may be nine. You never know when it comes to children. They multiply before you can even count. How many have you got, Adam?

1:54 Adam I have zero children. My model airplanes and my sporting goods are my children.

2:00 Drew Your tools.

2:01 Adam And my tools are my children.

2:04 Shmuley Boteach I do have seven kids.

2:05 Adam Rabbi Shmuley is a guy who has been on this show a couple of times. He's the author of the book of Why Can't I Fall in Love? And also, and I hadn't seen much of Rabbi Shmuley before he came on the show a year and change ago, but as soon as he got off this show, he became a Rabbi to the stars. I saw him on the Michael Jackson, hanging around with Michael Jackson. What other celebrities have you befriended?

2:31 Shmuley Boteach Well, I believe in going straight to the top and then working your way down. I started with you, Adam, and Dr. Drew. And after that, I figured once you meet world-renowned superstars, everyone you meet after that is not... you won't be intimidated.

2:44 Drew He was not a friend.

2:44 Shmuley Boteach So I could be myself.

2:45 Drew By Michael. You know, by the way, I felt so sorry for that guy with the way the people throw themselves at him. It is unbelievable.

2:52 Adam Drew, you were at the benefit with Rabbi Shmuley was there in New York with Michael Jackson about six months ago.

3:00 Shmuley Boteach Well, it was in February. We launched... we did an American and European launch of Heal the Kids, which is an organization that seeks to re-prioritize kids and the lives of their parents. And we chose Valentine's Day because this whole thing about lovers and we wanted to try to show that romantic love should be inclusive, that you can be parents and lovers. So we really wanted to get to Carnegie Hall. This was Michael's first speech really in the United States. We wanted to have the biggest experts and without brown-nosing too much, because I'm only four inches away from him, we wanted Dr. Drew to be there. He was our first choice and he very kindly flew out with his wife. And he, as usual, gave great wisdom and was much admired by the people. But Michael's fans, they were mostly European fans that night.

3:40 Drew They were Brazilian fans too, right?

3:41 Shmuley Boteach Yeah.

3:42 Drew South American.

3:42 Shmuley Boteach Well, there were about 2,000 fans that came from abroad.

3:45 Drew Adam, these people were having seizures. They were throwing themselves at the stage. I mean, I've never seen anything like this.

3:50 Shmuley Boteach Well, actually, Drew, they were throwing themselves at me.

3:53 Drew Well, at the stage. At the stage.

3:54 Shmuley Boteach It looked like Michael.

3:56 Drew But it was the stage, the moot point.

3:58 Adam And how... have you spent much time with Michael Jackson alone?

4:03 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, I mean, we're friends. We run this organization together. We did an American launch. We did a launch at Oxford University. And we're actually doing a book together now about how adults can recapture their childlike qualities. They can be like you, Adam. Furious and funny and not cynical.

4:22 Adam No.

4:23 Shmuley Boteach Imaginative.

4:25 Adam No, no.

4:26 Shmuley Boteach Successful.

4:27 Adam Right.

4:27 Shmuley Boteach Yeah.

4:28 Adam Cash in on other people's dashed dreams. That's what you're going to do with this book. But I'm not cynical. So Michael Jackson, good guy, normal guy, bizarre guy.

4:41 Shmuley Boteach Well, I give him what for me is a very high compliment, perhaps the ultimate compliment, and that is that amidst achieving his achievements rise to the heavens, he's very down to earth. He's very humble and I like that. I like people who don't take themselves seriously. He's very gracious to people he meets and he's very shy. Yeah. Arrogance turns me off. See, of all the virtues that I have, my humility stands out the most.

5:04 Adam Right.

5:04 Shmuley Boteach Which is supposed to be humorous. Yeah. I like humble people. So he's a humble guy and that's what I think. Did you find that that night true?

5:11 Drew Well, I humble to the point of like almost shamed.

5:14 Adam Meek? Almost?

5:15 Drew Like uncomfortably humble. Like uncomfortable in his own skin kind of thing. I felt very, very sorry for him.

5:20 But throughout his life a man can be loved by the children.

5:23 Drew No, but I felt like a guy that really needs connection with people and can't because he got these people throwing themselves at him.

5:27 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, it's hard. He can't walk down the street. I mean, we saw that that night. And, but I mean, like for example, even that night as we were leaving Carnegie Hall, all the fans were yelling, screaming, and they were like closing in on us as we're getting into the van with Michael. And my children were with me, my three oldest daughters, age 12, 10, and 9. And I remember Michael really risking himself because he can often get hurt by his own fans to make sure that these little girls were not, he was very scared for them, that they weren't stampeded. And his like security were pushing into the van and he wouldn't go until the little girls got in so that they weren't hurt. And little things like that impressed me. By the way, you said something amazing that night that I've quoted to so many people and it was very courageous. We were speaking about the Britney Spears phenomenon and she says she's a virgin, but she's also very sexually explicit. I'm not judging or being critical. She's a friend of Michael's actually, but I just bringing up that point. And I quoted you from Time Magazine. So you said you weren't sure about the quote because that...

6:22 Adam Is that where you called her a whore?

6:24 Drew No, not that one.

6:25 Adam I didn't see that one.

6:26 Shmuley Boteach No, the one where he said that the whole early puberty phenomenon might be induced by the sexually explicit material that adolescents are sort of consuming. And I asked you what you thought about the phenomenon and you said, it scares me to death.

6:39 Drew Yeah, absolutely, but there's a whole story attached to that though. It does scare me that it could be a possibility. It needs to be studied. And that's what I said to Time Magazine. Then they quoted me as taking that position and saying, that's the way it is.

6:52 Adam So, what you're saying is that early puberty is being like, puberty is being jumpstarted by sexuality in the culture?

7:00 Drew I think that's worth studying. And the problem, it's a very complex issue. It turns out early puberty is not occurring.

7:06 Shmuley Boteach Is that right?

7:07 Drew It's not occurring. Menarche has not changed in 200 years. It was purely a nutritional issue, it's set. Pre-puberty is decreasing. Breast-bud, pubic hair, which is an adrenal gland mediated phenomenon, not ovarian, which is very interesting. But then again, that still could also be evoked by something in the environment.

7:26 Adam But what society thinks of as puberty...

7:31 Drew has not changed.

7:32 Adam But you just talked about breast development and pubic hair, that's sort of how society judges puberty, but not ovarian production and that kind of stuff.

7:41 Drew The reason I take issue with this is the Time Magazine article went on to discuss estrogens, which is the ovarian issue, which is not what this is about. This is about the adrenal gland.

7:48 Shmuley Boteach But there was that woman who was quoted as saying that when a dog sees... sorry, when a person sees food, they salivate. So there is...

7:54 Drew Oh, of course. We are profoundly affected by that.

7:56 Shmuley Boteach So when you see something very sexual, Adam?

7:58 Adam Yeah, I get an erection.

8:00 Drew You get an erection? You?

8:02 Shmuley Boteach Yeah. I thought to you by now this is all no big deal. No big deal?

8:06 Adam What?

8:07 Shmuley Boteach The whole sexual thing.

8:08 Adam No.

8:08 Shmuley Boteach Been there, done that.

8:09 Adam No. Haven't gotten used to it. That's the beauty of sexuality. It's like...

8:13 Drew Always uncomfortable.

8:14 Adam It's like everything that's bad for you. Booze, cigarettes, you never get your fill. You know how many times I vomited from drinking and announced the next morning never again? Only to vomit the next weekend? That's the beauty of me. Melissa?

8:27 Uh-huh?

8:28 Adam You're 14.

8:29 Caller Yes.

8:29 Adam What's up?

8:31 Caller Um, not much. Well, um, my parents divorced when I was like two, one, real young. I don't remember. Um, and they had a real big custody battle. Like, I think it was like four years or something. Anyways, um...

8:48 Drew Who were you living with during that four years?

8:50 Caller Um, my dad and I don't remember.

8:54 Drew Mom must have been, mom must have been a mess then.

8:56 Caller Yeah, mom was into drugs and, because, I don't know, she was having trouble getting her life together. And because of issues when she was younger. And anyways, the court, you know, said I'm to live with my dad and my dad has raised me and he's been a very good father. Until like two years ago, recently. He owned his own business. And if you notice him not owning your own business and it not working out, you have lots of stress. And it totally took a toll on him and he totally changed. And he had like a heart attack. And like he's gotten, he's taken like his stress out on me. And he's like, I'll, you know, do stupid little teenage things, you know, like small little, you know, mistakes and then like he'll hit me sometimes and curse at me and, you know, and like my friends have even witnessed like he'll pull the car over the side and like slap me. And anyways, I'm smart, I think, I guess. So my family, like on my dad's side, they have like real high expectations for me. And I'm going to be going to New Mexico Military Institute for freshman year and high school.

10:17 Drew What is the question for us, Mosa?

10:18 Caller Okay, I'm sorry. Okay. Well, during this time of my dad's stress and everything, I, because of like everything going on in my life, I've gotten into a big depression and I cut myself in time and I've gotten into like doing drugs, like marijuana and speed and totally like not doing what a 14-year-old should be doing. And anyways, I talked to my mom. I've been talking to her a lot because she fought for four years trying to get custody of me. Anyways, we talked and she has like gotten her life straightened out. She's gotten therapy. She's gotten help. She is my brother and my sister.

11:01 Adam All right. Hold on. Hold on a second. Melissa, I'll tell you, it's weird because we usually will never go on this long with somebody spinning a boring yarn.

11:09 Caller I'm sorry.

11:10 Adam That's all right.

11:12 Drew She's so intelligent.

11:13 Adam You're intelligent and you don't leave gaps for me to jump in and criticize, which I normally do. Plus, I'm tired and a little bit distracted. But we must cut to the chase here. You want to go live with your mom? Is that it?

11:29 Drew Here's one question. How many years sober is she?

11:32 Caller I'm not too sure. I think it's been like five or six.

11:37 Drew Is she working an active program of recovery? Does she have a sponsor? Is she going to meetings?

11:41 Caller Oh, she's already over that.

11:43 Drew No, then don't go back. No, no, no. If she thinks she's over it, do not go back. If she is an active program of recovery, if she's working with a sponsor regularly, go back. But if she believes she's over it, it's for you.

11:57 Caller I was going to say, okay, because I was talking to her and I talked about the drugs, I talked about the cutting myself, I talked about everything. And she's gotten her life back on track and taking care of her kids and she has a husband now. She talked to me and she wants me to get therapy and she wants me to come out there and live with her so I can get help. All right, well, wait, wait. Because my dad doesn't care about my disease.

12:16 Adam Where is there? Where is there?

12:18 Caller She lives in California.

12:19 Adam Okay, but what about the Military Academy?

12:23 Caller I kind of, I don't know. It's a good opportunity, but I don't know if I should go because I'm having these problems.

12:29 Drew Better if you don't go. Better if you don't go.

12:31 Adam Go see mom?

12:32 Drew Go see mom, but listen, mom's got to guarantee you she's going to do her work. Because mom's got a ragged history and relapses around the corner dealing with a very difficult 14 year old.

12:41 Adam Yeah, you know what's amazing is Melissa, 14, who's been to hell and back already, sounded like you're talking to a woman in her 30s.

12:49 Shmuley Boteach Exactly, you know, I was just about to comment on that. There are no children in America anymore. Whenever people say to me, oh, you hear about this shooting, that shooting, how could kids do this? I said, these aren't kids, these are adults and children's bodies. That's what's so interesting about the pre-puberty phenomenon. There are no kids in America. If being a child means that you look forward to the future, people are profoundly depressed about the future. If being a child means that you're still curious about life, most of these people are already sort of fed up. They think, you know, it's been there, done that, this is cynicism that has already become endemic.

13:17 Adam Well, you guys have kids. I mean, Drew's kids are waiting by the fireplace for Santa to come down in July, by the way.

13:24 Drew My daughter is watching Britney Spears and it scares me.

13:26 Adam Oh, really? She's fine. You know, it's like your kid's in a van with Michael Jackson. That's something to think about. But don't you think that kids from a good family are going to endure this?

13:39 Shmuley Boteach Kids these days want to grow up. They really feel that being a child is profoundly uncool. It's just amazing. You know, global warming means that you sort of lose two seasons. You just have extremes, winter and summers, no springs, no autumn. That's what life is like. You go from infanthood straight to adulthood. You're right, she's 14 and she's going on 50.

13:58 Adam Right.

13:58 Drew There's another version. I'm just thinking my boys have this version. Other than Britney Spears, it's professional sports. In their mind, little league, just one just tiny step from Dodger Stadium.

14:08 Adam Yeah.

14:08 Drew I mean, that's where their heads at.

14:10 Adam Yeah.

14:10 Shmuley Boteach Well, you know, Eric Fromm, the great psychologist said that children, this is 40 years ago, the children are afraid to say they don't know anything anymore. You know, they don't ask, they pretend to know. That was the beginning of it. And today, they're afraid to show that they have not yet grown up. They really think that they're being left behind. And it's troubling, because really, the perfect adult, I think, is when you have a child at your center, instead of being a child with an adult at your center.

14:35 Adam Josh?

14:36 Yes.

14:37 Adam You're 31. Yes. What's up?

14:39 Caller I think my fiance likes her vibrator a little too much. Uh-huh.

14:45 Adam So she's a child with a vibrator at her center. Is that what you're saying?

14:52 Caller No, I just think she just bought another one today. Well, didn't buy. Someone gave her another one today.

14:58 Drew What's the problem? Why is that bad?

15:01 Well, I don't know.

15:03 Caller I think I'm having like insecurity.

15:05 Drew Yeah, no kidding. This is my penis is too small. Cloaked in another question.

15:10 Adam Well, we do hear that women get attached to these things.

15:13 Drew Yeah, but he hasn't told us anything about her. It's just him. He's afraid.

15:16 Adam Is she attached to it?

15:19 Caller Well, sometimes I think that she'd rather use that than, like...

15:24 Drew What does she tell you when you think that?

15:27 Caller She says that it's like two different things. That the pleasure I give her is totally different than the pleasure she gets from that.

15:32 Drew Yeah, that's because you're pounding on it, going, was that as good as the vibrator? I mean, come on, relax.

15:38 Caller Well, I'm not really after about it, you know. She pretty much lets me know when she uses it. I mean, usually I'm never here.

15:45 Drew How often is that? How often is she using it?

15:49 Caller About three or four times a week.

15:51 Shmuley Boteach Well, let me just jump in here for a second and say that I'll take the Stone Age Prude line here. And I think there is something to what you're saying. Studies show that women say that 87% of the time they have better orgasms masturbating than they do with their husbands. And very few men ever take the time to really understand the female body and really communicate sufficiently to have a pleasurable intimate connection with their wives. Now, you do have a problem. Insofar as she finds pleasuring herself better than being with you, there may be something deficient in your relationship. And I think that is worth exploring. Drew may disagree with me.

16:28 Drew No, no, I think that's reasonable.

16:29 Shmuley Boteach I think there is something to talk about. A lot of men don't know what foreplay is. They think it's something made by Black and Decker. You know, they, they... And if you're interested in a strong intimate connection, I think that you have to get naked with her. And nakedness today means something physical. I mean, get emotionally naked. Be prepared to ask the questions that might make you feel very uncomfortable.

16:48 Adam Well, you say you're never there, Josh.

16:51 Caller Well, no, I mean, when she does it, I'm not here.

16:55 Adam Right. I didn't mean that I'm never there.

16:57 Drew You're gone four days a week, though.

16:59 Caller Huh?

16:59 Drew You're gone four days a week.

17:00 No.

17:02 Caller She comes home from work about an hour before I...

17:04 Drew I see.

17:04 Okay.

17:05 Adam And you guys live together.

17:06 Yeah.

17:07 Adam And so she comes home before you get home from work. She pleasures herself, and then that's it for her that night, right?

17:13 Pretty much.

17:14 Adam Yeah. All right. Well, now you're starting to get into a little substitution problem here. Well, why don't you...

17:20 All right.

17:20 Adam So why don't you talk to her about that?

17:23 Shmuley Boteach Are you romantic during the day? Do you call her up from work for no other reason than to say you were thinking about her?

17:27 Caller We have lunch together.

17:29 Adam You do?

17:29 Caller Every day. Yeah.

17:31 Because we both work.

17:32 Adam Oh, that's horrible.

17:33 What?

17:33 Adam Where do you work? You work at Daisy Farm? Where do you work?

17:40 Caller She works like ten minutes away from where we live, as do I.

17:43 We don't work at the same place.

17:44 Adam And you guys have lunch every day?

17:46 Caller Yeah.

17:47 Adam Holy Christ. All right.

17:50 Shmuley Boteach There are still some romantics left.

17:52 Adam Yeah, but I'm just wondering what's up with her now.

17:55 Drew It's all fitting together.

17:57 Adam Was she abused sexually or does she have some energy in that department?

18:02 Caller I think there was some verbal abuse.

18:05 Adam Does she seem to be a problem, a troubled person?

18:09 Caller No, no, no, she's no, no, not really.

18:13 Shmuley Boteach By the way, I mean, on the contrary, for a lot of people, sex orgasm is just a great sedative. And that's why you have to try to make sex more exciting than a sedative. A lot of people use things like, like vibras just to relax. And if you make your relationship, see, maybe there's too much anxiety in your relationship. Maybe there's some sort of angst. And that's why it's so important to discuss this. But have you ever talked to her about this?

18:33 Adam Wait a minute, let me get him back. Josh? Yeah? Have you spoken to her about this?

18:38 Shmuley Boteach Or are we the first people you've discussed this with?

18:41 Actually, yeah, you're like...

18:43 Drew All right, why don't you have a talk with her about it? Just your concerns and how it's making you feel disconnected from her.

18:47 Adam All right. And Orthodox Jews, they're not allowed to use vibrators, are they? No?

18:54 Shmuley Boteach Um, that would not... How do I answer that?

18:59 Adam Is there anything...

19:00 Shmuley Boteach There would be no problem using a vibrator.

19:01 Adam There would be no?

19:02 Drew There must be.

19:03 Shmuley Boteach But having said that, having said that, it should be used with a couple together and not on their own. I don't believe in masturbation. I really don't. I believe that we should have great sex together.

19:12 Adam Do you use it through a hole in the sheet or are you allowed to just...

19:14 Shmuley Boteach Not only through full body armor, not the hole in the sheet. I'll tell you. Actually, two separate bedrooms through a hole in the wall.

19:19 Adam My...

19:20 Shmuley Boteach Where did you get this hole in the sheet thing? You've been watching too many movies.

19:22 Adam My step-grandfather was an old-world Jew. And he was from Hungary. He was like a super, super old-world Jew. And he sat down and explained to me once all the bizarre rituals that have to do with the Jewish faith. And I was fascinated by it. And I think we may have gotten into this a little bit before. But some of the rules about putting metal to your face or shaving and that kind of stuff and the two sets of dishes and the foul and the poultry and the buttermilk and not paying retail and all that stuff. But I'll tell you, it's a religion that's almost like a novelty religion to me. I mean, it's good, but it's funny at the same time. It's definitely one of the funnier religions.

20:13 Shmuley Boteach We have a sense of humor about it. But I will tell you that while all the things you said are true, the sheet thing, I mean, that's the KKK, They Wear Sheets. The Jews do not use sheets. In fact, in Jewish law, you can't have any clothes on when you make love. It's flesh pressed against flesh. Judaism is very erotic.

20:31 Adam What about a yarmulke?

20:32 Shmuley Boteach Only if it has a hole in it.

20:35 Adam And what about the shaving?

20:37 Shmuley Boteach If you don't have the hole in the yarmulke, then your horns can't fit through. So you have to make sure, you know.

20:41 Adam Yeah, you know, and I don't understand. And I, and Drew, please, you know, I'm not just sucking up to the rabbi here. I have said that I love the Jews and I love the gays.

20:51 Drew Yes, many times.

20:52 Adam Many times.

20:53 Shmuley Boteach So you must especially love gay Jews.

20:55 Adam There aren't any. Actually, they're around. Their parents have killed themselves, but they actually exist. No, I love the Jews because they take care of their families. They pay their taxes. They're not criminals. I mean, you go going to any prison, you're not going to find many Jews. All you got to know about this, here's all you need to know. Go to any major prison in any major city. Here's what you got. You got the Crips, you got the Black Gangs, the Bloods, all right? Then you got the Aryan Brotherhood. Those are the whites. Then you got the Mexican Mafia and the Latino guys, and then a sprinkling of Asian dudes have started their own sort of Asian Mafia. There's no such thing as any Beth Hillel mafia in prison. There's no Jew population in prison. That's all you need to know about the Jews. Watch any documentary, watch any movie. You'll never see the Jewish prison population. They don't exist. They're not guards. They're not wardens. It's like Feff. Feff with the whole prison thing. They didn't want to get near it.

21:59 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, but you're also not going to cheer a Jew in the NBA.

22:02 Adam I would.

22:02 Shmuley Boteach Jews don't grow to 6'8.

22:05 Adam All right. They may not be in the NBA, but they're not in prison either. God bless and these people take care of themselves and take care of their own. And I was talking, who did we have in here? What black woman?

22:15 Shmuley Boteach I'm going to vote for you for president, by the way.

22:16 Adam What was I talking about? Oh, yes. Then they're smart, too. They're smart. They're crafty. But they're smart, the Jews. Who would we have in here, like Queen Latifah or Kim Coles or something? I finally said to her, what is your problem with the Jews?

22:32 Drew Oh, yeah, Kim Cole.

22:32 Adam Yeah, these guys, the Jews are traditionally progressive, left-wing types, Democrats. These people were marching next to you. These people have seen strife and seen their people killed and executed. You guys have a lot in common and the Jews are generally pretty good to the blacks, or at least that's what it seems to be. I finally got it out of her. She's jealous.

22:59 Drew Oh, she said that?

23:00 Adam She said that the Jews complain and the blacks complain and they don't like each other because they both complain.

23:07 Drew I see.

23:08 Adam You see what I'm saying?

23:09 Shmuley Boteach We don't complain. We whine.

23:11 Adam You whine and they complain, but the point is, is there was some competition in the complaint department. They didn't like that. You know what I'm talking about?

23:19 Shmuley Boteach I debated Reverend Al Sharpton about six weeks ago in New York.

23:23 Drew Wow, what was that like?

23:24 Shmuley Boteach It was called Blacks and Jews, Brothers of Belligerence, and we sort of really went after each other on stage, and then we went out for dinner at a kosher restaurant. It was like that EF Hutton commercial. You know, he walked in and everything goes silent, and we've become good friends. I just went to see him in prison the other day because, you know, he was arrested for demonstrating in Puerto Rico against a naval bombing site.

23:42 Adam See, another black in prison.

23:44 Shmuley Boteach No, we've become good friends.

23:45 Drew He's in Enigma. What's his deal?

23:47 Shmuley Boteach Well, he's doing that.

23:49 Drew Enigma.

23:49 Adam Oh, okay. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry. That was close.

23:54 Shmuley Boteach You know, I think that he's very courageous and he has taken up a lot of issues. There are things I completely disagree with him on, obviously, because he has been, there's been a lot of strife between him and the Jewish community. I think he wants to make it right. I think he wants to try to have people understand that he didn't mean offense. And if he did, then he's sorry and wants to move on. So we're trying to do some things together now, actually, we're trying to do a big literacy event in Harlem, our Heel of Kids initiative, giving out books, things like that.

24:20 Adam Yeah, I don't know what's in it for the blacks to piss off the Jews. It doesn't seem like a great plan.

24:25 Drew We understand you feel that way.

24:26 Adam What is that about? How, what percentage of this country is Jewish?

24:31 Shmuley Boteach Less than 2%.

24:32 Adam Less than 2? Jesus, you guys are loud. And I always think about that. I think who are the loudest, who are the loudest for the smallest numbers? I think the Jews got the blacks trumped in that department.

24:44 Shmuley Boteach We like the tension.

24:45 Adam No, kid, Jesus, less than 2%. I mean, I think there is 45, 50%.

24:48 Drew They are all in the Urban Senate. They are all in the city.

24:51 Adam All right. Let's...

24:53 Drew They are not farming.

24:54 Adam I understand. Let's take ourselves a break. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. I got to get some coffee.

25:00 Shmuley Boteach You know, I only come back to hear that. You are the only person who says it right.

25:03 Adam There we go. Let me try. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is here tonight. He is the author of Why Can't I Fall In Love? We will be back with him after this.

25:16 Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

25:25 Adam It is Love Line. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is here.

25:36 Shmuley Boteach I'm changing my name to Smith, by the way.

25:39 Adam Rabbi Shmuley Smith is here. He's the author.

25:42 Drew Spelled S-H-M-U-L-E-Y, Smith.

25:45 Adam Why can't I fall in love? He is the Rabbi of the Stars. We're glad to have him back on the show. And we could really talk to the Rabbi for hours and hours about just about anything on this show. So we're going to have to force ourselves to power through a few calls tonight. Sean?

26:02 Hello?

26:02 Adam You're 19?

26:04 Caller Yes, I am.

26:04 Adam What's up?

26:06 Caller I have a problem. I've got a kind of a relationship going on with my stepsister.

26:11 Adam Oh, really?

26:13 Caller Yes.

26:13 Adam Yeah. How old is she?

26:15 Drew How long has she been your stepsister?

26:17 Caller About seven months.

26:19 Drew Did you guys know each other before you became related?

26:22 Caller No. Different areas. Our families are from different areas.

26:25 Adam Do you live in the same house?

26:27 Caller No. She's at school right now.

26:29 Drew Were you living at the same house when this started happening?

26:32 Caller Yes.

26:33 Drew We get this all the time.

26:34 Caller Really?

26:34 Adam Well, we haven't had it in a little while, actually.

26:37 Drew That's a common loveline problem. Yeah.

26:40 Adam Well, listen.

26:41 Drew Do you want to give your usual spiel about teenagers in the house?

26:44 Adam Okay. There's a lot of rabbis, a lot of broken families, a lot of people remarrying later on in life, and you have a 14-year-old guy and a 15-year-old chick or vice versa, and it's like you put them in the house and, hey, this is your brother and this is your sister.

27:03 Drew The week before, there was people trying to date one another.

27:07 Adam The week before, he was looking at her across the classroom getting an erection. Now she's down the hall and he hears the shower running, and he's just had a night of sleeping on his penis.

27:19 Drew These kids that come from these systems have poor boundaries and poor impulse control and have been maybe even in abusive systems at one point or another.

27:25 There's no abuse going on.

27:27 Drew No, no, no, I'm not saying, Sean, Sean, relax.

27:29 Adam I'm just saying I'm surprised this does not happen all the time. I mean, how are you going to prevent this when you take a couple of people whose hormones are popping and put them under the same roof?

27:39 Shmuley Boteach But based on what you're saying, it would follow that as time progressed and they felt a greater kinship and grew more accustomed to each other, the attraction would diminish. Right.

27:47 Drew They would be the sister.

27:48 Adam But this guy was banging her on day one, so that never happened. I mean, how long did it take for you guys to get together?

27:53 Shmuley Boteach You used this euphemism. You said a bit of a relationship. How much is a bit?

27:57 Caller Well, we've been together probably about, I don't know, eight or nine times. She wants me to come up to school this weekend and spend the weekend with her, and I'm like really nervous about this.

28:11 Drew Yeah. I think how awful these boundary issues are. This is family member now you're getting involved with. You really are getting intimate with this one.

28:17 Adam Do you love her?

28:20 Caller Yeah, I think I do. I don't know yet, I mean.

28:24 Drew And what happens if this doesn't work out? Imagine how awkward, how awful. I mean, Adam, what do you want to do? The first thing you want to do when you end a relationship with someone that really was over.

28:33 Adam Kill her and her family?

28:34 Drew Or just-

28:35 Adam Oh, not see them anymore? Well, look, I have a stepsister who regrettably I don't get to have sex with, but if I did, I see her once every year and a half or something is no big deal. You know what I mean? I mean, yeah, it's going to make for a uncomfortable Thanksgiving, but look at it this way. She's off at college. He's off doing something else. You guys come together a few times a year for a holiday. But the point is, you've gotten together with your exes.

29:01 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, but that's a shame because here he could be close to a potential sister and he's going to avoid her because of all this awkwardness.

29:07 Adam You never see your stepfamily.

29:08 Caller It's going to get really awkward in a few months here. Why?

29:12 She's late.

29:13 Adam Oh, really?

29:14 Yeah.

29:15 Drew Good times.

29:15 Adam So you guys can give birth to your stepson or how does that work? Would you have his blood steps on? They would have their step cousin.

29:24 Drew They would have their nephew, their nephews, right?

29:30 Adam Give birth to your step nephew.

29:31 Shmuley Boteach Do you think this one's yours?

29:33 Caller Well, I mean, I can't see much of the time that she's and the grandchild. And she said no. We spend all the time together.

29:42 Adam All right. So does she want to have the baby?

29:45 Caller We don't know what to do.

29:47 Adam All right. Well, well, I don't know, should he go up there and figure it out?

29:51 Caller I mean, how do you say, you know, yeah, I'm sure the pork was wonderful tonight. And by the way, mom, I've got your daughter pregnant.

29:58 Shmuley Boteach You know, something as awkward as that sounds, I really think this is time to sort of very gently bring in the parents because it's getting serious. It's not something you can even, you know, this is something that has to be discussed, however painful.

30:11 Adam Really?

30:12 Shmuley Boteach Well, you can't hide this. What happens when the baby's born, for goodness sake? It's got to come out sometime.

30:19 Adam I don't know.

30:19 Shmuley Boteach No, this is something that the family has to consult on and mature decisions have to be made by people with experience.

30:25 Adam I just could not imagine sitting down with, but my stepmom didn't like me anyway. I couldn't imagine telling her I got her daughter pregnant. Caleb? Caleb?

30:34 Yeah.

30:35 Adam You're 19. What's up?

30:36 Caller Yeah, I went to go get a flu shot during the flu season.

30:39 And instead of a flu shot, they gave me a tuberculosis vaccine.

30:43 Caller Vaccine?

30:43 The test, they gave me that instead of the...

30:46 Drew The PPD.

30:47 Yeah.

30:48 Adam Is that bad?

30:49 Drew Well, the thing about the PPD is it's usually... No, no, no, not PPD, tuberculosis. Yeah, PPD is the tuberculosis skin test. So you're talking about the skin test for tuberculosis, not BCG, the sort of internationally used vaccine that doesn't work with it, Adam?

31:03 Caller No, yeah, they shot me for a tuberculosis test.

31:07 Drew PPD. And this was... When were you doing this?

31:10 Caller This was during the flu season, just this year.

31:12 Drew And you're supposed to get your flu shot in the fall, not during flu season.

31:15 Adam Well, what's for next year?

31:17 Caller That's what I meant.

31:18 Drew You got it in the fall?

31:19 Caller Yeah.

31:19 Drew So this happened months ago and you've been fine, right?

31:21 Caller Yeah, I've been fine, but I wanted to know if there was anything.

31:23 Drew No, the problem is that if you had had TB, primary TB particularly, and you started to react to all that, boy, you can get quite a reaction, but no, you should be fine. And you're fine now, so what are you concerned about?

31:35 Caller I don't know. I was just saying possibly in the future if there was something.

31:37 Drew No, nothing I'm aware of, no. The other problem is usually it's a tenth of a cc, and this is a half a cc, excuse me, a tenth, they give you a half a cc for the flu vaccine, so it's five times the dose that you normally get for a skin test.

31:50 Adam So they gave him five times of the TB skin test.

31:54 Drew The other thing is this TB skin test is intradermal, and the other one is intramuscular, and so it's a weird difference, but that's fine.

32:00 Adam All right.

32:00 Hey, Caleb.

32:02 Adam You're fine.

32:02 Caller Okay.

32:03 Adam Whatever.

32:04 Caller All right.

32:04 Drew Yeah, thanks, Adam.

32:06 Shmuley Boteach How often do you get strictly medical questions like that on Loveline?

32:10 Drew One every week.

32:10 Adam I get one every night.

32:12 Drew One a night?

32:12 Shmuley Boteach And then what, Adam always goes silent during those? Like just Adam?

32:15 Adam Usually.

32:16 Drew Not really. At the end, I'll try to talk about the complexities and he'll announce the truth towards the end somewhere. It's like he did just that. Hey, Caleb, you're fine.

32:23 Shmuley Boteach Relax. I mean, Adam looked really lonely during that question.

32:26 Adam I'm interested. I'm interested in how stuff works usually in the intro and outro stuff. There's some terminology that always confuses me.

32:36 Drew All of it?

32:36 Adam Yeah, all of it.

32:37 Shmuley Boteach You were a lot more animated during the Step Sister question.

32:39 Adam Yeah. Well, it's right up my alley. Speaking up the alley, here's Laura, who's 15, have a question for the rabbi.

32:46 Yeah, this is kind of fresh being on Loveline. Okay, well, um, rabbi, I want to know if it's okay to smoke weed if you're Jewish.

32:54 Drew Is that you? Are you Jewish?

32:56 Yes, I am. I'm a conservative Jew, but I think when I'm older, I'm going to be orthodox. And so I'm kind of like...

33:02 Drew She doesn't plan to give up the weed. And should it be on a bong or there's some ritual that goes with it?

33:07 I don't smoke now and I haven't, but I'm thinking about it. And I kind of like to, but I don't want to regret it later.

33:17 Shmuley Boteach First of all, you have to make sure the weed is kosher. Right. That's a joke. If I were you, I would really stick to the matzah balls and the chopped liver. You know, I was the rabbi to the students at Oxford University in England for 11 years. And everyone tells me, you know, weed is not serious. I saw so many students, in my opinion, become mentally slower. And they smoked a lot. I know students used to smoke two, three hours a day. And it had, in my opinion, had a really serious and permanent effect. I mean, why would you want to start anything like that? I mean, the mind is quite a precious organ. And to fill it up with anything like that, if you need a stimulant, read a great book. Find really exciting things that are healthy, that are life-affirming, that you don't have to be afraid of becoming dependent on them because they don't drag you down.

34:03 Adam What if she compromises and smokes a good buck?

34:09 Shmuley Boteach As long as it's one of my books.

34:10 Drew Is there anything in Judaism about mind-altering sums or addictions?

34:13 Shmuley Boteach Absolutely. They're completely prohibited and forbidden. We're very, very careful. I mean, to us, the first obligation of our religion, actually, is to preserve and protect our health. That's why every...

34:22 Adam Well, they're all doctors. That's why.

34:24 Shmuley Boteach Well, someone's got to cure mankind.

34:26 Drew That's why they're always coming every couple weeks to my office over and over.

34:30 Adam Yes, they're all hypochondriacs. Well, listen. Well, hold on.

34:35 Shmuley Boteach Get off the weed. Get back on the...

34:37 Adam You guys can smoke. You can drink wine.

34:40 Shmuley Boteach We can drink wine, but only Mad Dog 2020. No. Blueberries.

34:45 Drew I think Jews never get alcoholism. Never.

34:48 Shmuley Boteach Is that right?

34:48 Drew Never.

34:49 Adam Yeah, and there's not...

34:50 Drew That's some genetic thing.

34:52 Adam I didn't know...

34:52 Drew They get addiction, but they never get alcoholism.

34:54 Adam The Jews were never big into the weed either.

34:57 Drew Oh, I've seen that.

34:58 Adam You have?

34:58 Drew Oh, yes.

34:59 Adam I've not seen that.

35:00 Drew In fact, that's the only non-alcoholic marijuana addiction I've seen.

35:05 Adam Is Jew?

35:06 Drew Yep.

35:06 Adam Really?

35:07 Drew Yep.

35:07 Adam I have not... None of my Jewish friends...

35:10 Drew It's rare. I'll give you that...

35:12 Adam .smoke any weed. What are they into? The pills, normally?

35:15 Drew Opiates, usually.

35:15 Adam Speed, really?

35:16 Drew Opiates, usually. Opiates.

35:17 Adam Interesting.

35:18 Shmuley Boteach I didn't know this all broke down so ethnically.

35:20 Drew It's weird the way it does, yeah.

35:22 Shmuley Boteach I used to get very upset when the students in Oxford would... They'd always try to hide it when I walked into the room. You can't exactly hide a stench. Those tea leaves. I was burning tea leaves. It was a Native American ritual.

35:33 Drew And a bong shaped like the Statue of Liberty.

35:35 Adam And you had a lot of Jewish students that smoked a lot of weed?

35:39 Shmuley Boteach There were Jewish and non-Jewish students, but yes, Jewish students as well, of course. And they always say to me, it's no big deal, you know, it's just grass.

35:45 Drew It is no big deal if they're doing it once a month. It's no big deal. Really, it isn't.

35:49 Shmuley Boteach But I think these are the kind of things that become more than once a month. Look, so many people today live with a lot of anxiety, a lot of pressure, and they don't know how to find a healthy way to release that pressure. They find unhealthy ways, and that's why I think people like marijuana. And it's a great shame, because I think you can achieve, as I said, the same kind of stimulant, but a great conversation with a friend or something like that. We all need a release. Let's find a healthy way to do it.

36:08 Adam Yeah. I'll tell you, I'm really down with the Jews and their beliefs. First off, you know how much I hate to shave, right, Drew? Oh, there you go. And I'll tell you, there's two things in life I hate. Shaving and working on a Saturday. And these are both things that the Jews... I went down and visited some Hasidic Jews on Fairfax a year and a half ago to do some man show bit. It was Tuesday, middle of the day, and these guys are all just plotting around eating. And I'm like, hey, what are you guys doing? They're like, we can't work. I was like, why not? We got to study. They're like, really? It's Tuesday. It's the middle of the goddamn week. You can't go to work? Nope. It's forbidden. And I thought, wow, this is for me. This is great.

36:51 Shmuley Boteach Well, this is what you should be doing. Instead of smoking weed, you should be eating.

36:54 Adam I should be eating and...

36:55 Shmuley Boteach Get off on food.

36:56 Adam This guy had a weird... I was wrapping my hand with something and he had a weird box I strapped in my head or my arm. I mean, it was a tremendous waste of time, but it was great. It was like a club for guys. We didn't have to work and no one really hassled them. You know, no one like came in and ate dead beats, get off your ass, let's get to work, let's go now. No, because when it's a religion, people sort of leave you alone.

37:21 Shmuley Boteach Wait a second, and you call this Loveline work? You're having the time of your life, you call this work?

37:26 Adam That's true, this is not work. Now, if I was to be orthodox Jew and I wanted to be clean-shaven, would I have to use a depilatory and a stick or something? I couldn't put metal to my face, right?

37:40 Shmuley Boteach You could only use masking tape, attach it to your beard and we rip.

37:44 Drew You can't shave.

37:45 Shmuley Boteach No, you can use an electric shaver and not a blade.

37:48 Adam No blade.

37:49 Shmuley Boteach No blade.

37:49 Adam Why an electric shaver?

37:51 Shmuley Boteach Because...

37:51 Adam Is that the Torah, by the way?

37:52 Shmuley Boteach It is the Torah. The Book of Deuteronomy says you shouldn't use a knife on your face.

37:57 Drew Only Norelco.

37:58 Adam Right. But an electric knife? No problem.

38:01 Shmuley Boteach Well, it's because some of the rabbis say that an electric knife doesn't actually... It doesn't uproot or damage or things like that.

38:06 Adam At what point do you guys just start laughing hysterically at yourselves?

38:10 Shmuley Boteach Only when you're in the room.

38:12 Adam All right.

38:12 Drew All right.

38:13 Adam So you got that, Drew? Electric razor?

38:15 Drew No problem.

38:16 Shmuley Boteach Hey, we...

38:16 Adam Double-edged?

38:17 Nope.

38:18 Shmuley Boteach No knife on the face, no weed in the room.

38:21 Adam All right. And we'll be back.

38:24 Loveline, we'll be right back.

38:28 Adam Yes, it is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is here. He is the author of Why Can't I Fall In Love? He is very knowledgeable about relationships. He also has a few celebrity friends. What's the name of the group that you and Michael Jackson run?

38:53 Shmuley Boteach Heal the Kids.

38:55 Adam What do you do primarily with that?

38:57 Shmuley Boteach We're trying to get parents to re-prioritize their children, which means simply all the things that we were lucky to grow up with that American kids don't, dinner with your parents, read a bedtime story, Sundays off without parents, answering cell phones, doing e-mail, just to feel that you're the center of your parents' lives, that you have unconditional love and you don't have to do anything to earn it.

39:15 Adam And this is a worldwide thing.

39:17 Shmuley Boteach Yeah. Well, we hope so. We launched in New York and in England.

39:21 Drew Did the audience in New York appreciate having Greenspan there? I mean, they understand that it's a major, major guy.

39:28 Shmuley Boteach Yeah. I mean, I think he's considered like the foremost child expert in the country.

39:31 Drew I would say so.

39:32 Shmuley Boteach And he's also a very humble guy. He's been very kind to us in helping us steer and guide this whole initiative. And I took him to meet Michael and talk about things and I mean, his whole, his whole approach is the need for nurturing care.

39:45 Drew More time. Yeah.

39:46 Shmuley Boteach Yeah. He says three hours a day, the parents have to be with the kids three hours a day. Each parent.

39:50 Drew So it was the one third solution, right? Wasn't that what he said? Yeah. Don't you agree that this country's got the worst problem in this, of the industrialized?

39:58 Shmuley Boteach No question about it. I mean, kids that are being raised by Nintendo and by MTV. Yeah. Well. And with you guys at MTV, it wasn't so bad because, you know, it was so funny. You were wise. It was great. But ever since you guys went...

40:10 Adam So has the country.

40:12 Shmuley Boteach So has the kids.

40:13 Caller Travis?

40:13 Drew There was a chance.

40:15 Adam You're 19. What's up?

40:17 Caller Well, about three years ago, I dated a girl for about six months. And we ended up getting engaged, probably within about three months of the relationship. And six months into it, I realized that I was way too young, and I had to back out and I wanted to wait till later.

40:43 Drew And so you have some judgment. Good. What's it?

40:45 Adam You got you got engaged at 16?

40:47 Caller No, at 15.

40:48 Adam 15. Yeah.

40:49 Drew All right. So what's going on?

40:50 Shmuley Boteach What took you so long?

40:53 What's up now?

40:56 Caller Ever since then, I've just been thinking about her a lot. And we've had a few chats within the past six months or so, wanting to get back together. So I was wondering if it would be OK to go back together.

41:10 Drew Why not? What will be the downside?

41:14 Caller Well, there wouldn't really be a downside, really.

41:18 Adam OK. All right. Thanks. I understand why he's calling us. He has an ex-girlfriend.

41:26 Drew It says here she lives 350 miles away.

41:28 Adam Travis?

41:29 Caller Yeah.

41:29 Adam She lives far away? Yeah.

41:31 Caller She lives 350 miles away in Spokane, Washington.

41:35 Shmuley Boteach All right. After I just witnessed this resurrection of Travis on the phone line, why do you want to get married at 15? Don't you? Don't you want to be a kid? Before you have responsibilities and mortgages.

41:46 Drew He's 19.

41:46 Shmuley Boteach Oh, 19 now. OK. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

41:49 Drew He was 15. He got...

41:50 Shmuley Boteach But even 19 is young, Travis.

41:52 Drew Well, now he's just lonely and horny, I think, is what it breaks down to. Anyway, he knew that was a good thing for him, and they're talking again.

41:58 Adam Travis, you thought there was a possibility that you could score out on your own and you realize that that ain't happening now, right?

42:04 Caller No, actually, I got... became very sexually active after I...

42:09 Adam All right. Well, maybe it's love.

42:12 Drew Hey, if you can work it out, great. 350 miles at 19 is substantial. Where... you in Seattle, she's in Spokane or something?

42:19 Caller Close to Seattle. I'm in the state capitol here.

42:22 Adam All right.

42:23 Drew You're in Tacoma? What's Seattle?

42:25 Caller It's Olympia.

42:26 Adam Olympia.

42:27 Drew And where is she?

42:28 Caller She's in Spokane, why?

42:29 Drew Spokane. I've done that drive. It's not easy.

42:33 Caller It's about anywhere from six to nine hours.

42:35 Drew Nice. Good times.

42:36 Shmuley Boteach Well, better to fall in love with the right person in the wrong place than the wrong person in the right place.

42:40 Adam Right. You have our blessing and the rabbi's blessing as well. All right, Travis?

42:47 Shmuley Boteach Adam, how often do you resurrect a caller like that?

42:49 Adam Get him back? Feel sorry for him? Not that often.

42:53 Shmuley Boteach Right. You do have a compassionate side about him.

42:56 Drew We brought that up to him tonight. You really have. He feels, somehow he feels that he...

43:00 Shmuley Boteach He's conscious. He feels guilty.

43:01 Drew Yeah, he feels guilty.

43:02 Shmuley Boteach You forgot about the beard. You forgot about the guilt. That's the main thing.

43:05 Adam Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you. My Jewish step-grandfather, God bless him, he was the only one in the family, did any cooking, any cleaning, anything at all.

43:15 Drew Child care.

43:16 Adam Anything, anything. He made lunches, made dinners. The guy was great, but he did get you with the guilt a little. And here's the way he would get you. It would be great. Like it was subtle. Here's good Jewish guilt. Like I'd go visit him and then I'd go, well, grandpa, I gotta be getting back to work. So I gotta leave now. You're going to leave? Yes. They make say it eight times. Yeah, I gotta leave. I gotta get back to work. So you're going? Yes, I'm leaving. You're leaving now?

43:43 Drew You're leaving me alone here in this house? Alone?

43:46 Adam That's right. Like they really make you go back and revisit it a couple of times. It's not, you talk to Goiam, you can say once, I'm leaving and you get to leave.

43:55 Shmuley Boteach Grandpa, you're making me feel guilty.

43:56 How can I make you feel guilty?

43:57 Shmuley Boteach I don't see you enough to make you feel guilty.

44:00 Caller What'd I say?

44:02 Adam Alex?

44:02 Yeah?

44:03 Adam You're 14. What's up?

44:06 Caller Well, I have my dad and well, he's been a non-alcoholic for seven years and he's going to AA meetings. He has a sponsor and he starts saying things to me and my brother who's 16 saying stuff like, you guys make me want to go back and drinking. And he sounds really serious.

44:25 Drew You know what, Alex? He probably is serious. That is, you know, the stress does put alcoholics at risk, but he's got a solid program going on. It is completely unfair of him and untrue for him to make you responsible for his disorder.

44:39 Caller Well, he also just tried to stop smoking. He's doing it right now.

44:45 Drew Yeah. So smoking what?

44:47 Caller Smoking just cigarettes.

44:49 Drew You go to Alateen, Alex. That's what you need to do. His disease is a little bit active right now. You might want to talk to his sponsor if you have a relationship with him at all, because it's not okay for him to do this to you. It's true. It's true that stress does put alcoholics at risk for relapse, but as long as he's working his program, he'll be okay, but you got to work some too.

45:07 Caller Do you know what I can do to say to him?

45:09 Drew Nothing. Go to Alateen.

45:10 Caller Okay.

45:11 Drew You got to take care of yourself, okay?

45:12 Adam Tell him he's going to turn you gay if he keeps dumping on you. That should shut him up.

45:16 Drew I feel like Adam said that.

45:17 Shmuley Boteach I can feel guilty.

45:18 Adam Yeah. Adam, good times. Hey, good times there, buddy. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Well, look at it this way. The guy, and Drew, we've never spoken about this, I don't believe, but the guy, he's drinking and he's smoking, so he gives up booze five years ago, and he's doing all right with that, and he's doing pretty good, he's staying with the program, now he decides to give up another vice. And when he gives up that other vice, or attempts to give up that other vice, he now gets sort of thrust back into the booze a little bit too, right? I mean, not that he's drinking, but that he's feeling vulnerable, now he's having to give something up, and some of the other stuff he gave up may be cropping up too, right? Yeah. Yeah?

45:57 Drew It's a little more complicated than that, but yeah, I'll give you, I don't want to get into it with you, so I'll let you have it.

46:01 Adam Thank you. You know, I'm a genius. Rabbi Shmuley is our guest tonight. We will take ourselves a little break.

46:06 Drew The board went out, then we came back on again. There we go.

46:09 Adam And we'll find out more after this.

46:13 Oh, it's Loveline.

46:15 Drew I like these new bumpers, like all of them.

46:16 Adam Yeah, sounds good.

46:17 Shmuley Boteach That does not sound like a song from the synagogue. What is that?

46:21 Drew What is that?

46:21 Adam That is Weezer.

46:22 Drew Oh, it's Weezer.

46:23 Adam It is Loveline. I'm Adam Corolla. That is Dr. Drew over there.

46:28 Drew And all of your friends at the Yeshiva will know Weezer.

46:30 Adam Phone number, 1-800-LOVE-191, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is here tonight. Why Can't I Fall In Love is the name of his book, The Rabbi. Like most Jewish folk, have something to say. And I'll tell you, during the commercials here, we just take turns yelling at each other, me and Drew, and the Rabbi. And I was just thinking, it's not enough time this four or five minutes.

46:54 Drew No, I got to pee too, and I haven't done that in an hour.

46:56 Adam That is a huge compliment. Yeah, massive.

46:59 Drew You understand? My prostate is going to explode.

47:03 Shmuley Boteach I'm honored. I want a plaque saying that if I can get one.

47:07 Drew Normally, how do I, what, every 20 minutes we're in there?

47:09 Adam Yeah. Sherry?

47:12 Yes.

47:12 Adam Yes. You're 28?

47:14 Caller I am.

47:14 Adam What's up?

47:16 Caller I have a three and a half year old son and he's the result of a rape. I was wondering, what am I going to tell him when he asks where his daddy is?

47:27 Adam Well, don't tell him he's a product of rape. Is that something that was in your plans?

47:36 Caller I didn't really have a plan.

47:38 Drew What do you think, Robert? This is a very philosophical question.

47:41 Adam No way. You don't tell him.

47:43 Drew No, because I could see from a hell standpoint, I could see advantages and disadvantages to both. Just saying nothing. I think saying nothing is probably the best thing, but I don't think you could get away with it.

47:50 Adam Well, he died.

47:51 Shmuley Boteach I think you could get away with it until at least the child is old enough and sure enough and having felt loved enough to absorb it, but certainly to tell him at any age. I think let him discover it on his own and not tell him. I mean, what can you possibly gain in telling him?

48:06 Adam Oh yeah. Look, here's what you tell him, Sherry. He died jumping on a grenade in a desert storm. He was in a foxhole with four or five of his comrades. A grenade rolled in and he dove on it and took one for the team. You cannot tell him he's a product of rape. That's just going to ruin the kid. Is there any male figure in his life now?

48:30 Caller Yeah, my fiance.

48:32 Drew All right. Just say it didn't work out.

48:35 Adam Yeah. All right. I get the sad feeling you're going to tell him.

48:40 Drew Yeah, it's not his fault. This is not the child's fault.

48:43 Adam Yes, I understand.

48:44 Drew That you were raped. Right.

48:45 Adam And we're sorry you were raped, but do not burden him with this.

48:48 Drew Yeah, nor is the child incarnation of the rape. There's a separate human, totally separate from that event.

48:53 Caller Right.

48:53 Shmuley Boteach And nor is he a compensation for the rape. You do have to treat them as totally disassociated phenomena.

49:02 Caller Right. So, I just tell him...

49:04 Drew Nothing.

49:04 Caller I just lie to him.

49:05 Drew No, you see, that's what I don't like.

49:06 Shmuley Boteach You don't have to lie. You just say your father...

49:09 Drew It didn't work out.

49:09 Shmuley Boteach Yeah. And it didn't.

49:11 Adam Okay. All right.

49:12 Drew But don't get into it till he's at least 11, 12. At the earliest.

49:16 Adam Into the lying.

49:18 Drew Into anything. You're not lying.

49:19 Shmuley Boteach You're just not telling the whole truth.

49:21 Adam Right. Lying. You didn't... Right. Things didn't work out. You're right. And now he's in No, don't. Sherry, please do not burden him with this. All right. Okay. All right. And I know.

49:36 Shmuley Boteach And don't burden yourself either.

49:37 Adam Well, here's what I have to say about this, Sherry. You may have some unresolved energy and issues with this. That's for you to resolve. Right? It has nothing to do with your child.

49:50 Shmuley Boteach Did you know the rapist before?

49:52 Caller Well, I wasn't like friends with him or nothing. I just saw him a couple of times. I worked for an apartment complex that he lived in. And so I saw him when he came in and paid rent.

50:06 Drew All right.

50:07 Shmuley Boteach Okay. You've got to move on. And my esteemed colleagues are absolutely right. Don't get into this.

50:12 Adam Did you bring any charges against this guy?

50:15 Caller Yeah, I did. And he got off on a technicality.

50:19 Adam How does that happen?

50:21 Caller Well, he didn't understand his Miranda rights, he said.

50:24 Oh, my God.

50:26 Caller Oh, really?

50:28 Adam That was it?

50:29 Drew Oh.

50:30 Adam So what did he do? Did he confess when they arrested him?

50:34 Caller I have no idea what happened when he was arrested. I just know that they said that.

50:40 Drew Isn't it sad that we have to apologize to the victims for the world they live in?

50:44 Caller Yeah.

50:45 Drew I'm sorry. I'm sorry for sharing.

50:46 Adam All right. So this guy did it, but he didn't understand his Miranda rights and he didn't do any time.

50:52 Caller That's right.

50:53 Adam Okay.

50:53 Caller He's paying me his paycheck, you know.

50:55 Adam Oh. He is for the child.

50:57 Caller The state went after him for child support.

50:59 Adam Good. Now that's better. Better that he should do that than sit in prison and not pay you. Yeah. All right? All right. Not a Jew though, right?

51:09 Caller Actually, my grandmother on my father's side is Jewish and my grandmother on my mother's side is Jewish.

51:14 Adam Right. But not the rapist.

51:16 Drew No.

51:16 Adam Yeah. Jews say fat to rape.

51:20 Drew That's a big PSA, you know.

51:21 Adam Yeah.

51:22 Drew Just say fat.

51:23 Adam That's right. All right.

51:26 Shmuley Boteach If he was Jewish, he would have used the rape.

51:28 Adam No.

51:28 Shmuley Boteach Have some chicken soup.

51:30 Adam That's right. We eat first, we rape later. Then we rape. Melissa?

51:36 Caller Yes.

51:36 Adam You're 25?

51:37 Caller Yeah.

51:38 What's up?

51:39 Caller I want to know what the deal is with polyurethane condoms vs. latex. If they're just as safe.

51:47 Adam Polyurethane vs.

51:48 Drew latex?

51:49 Adam I'm going to put it on hold because something's killing me.

51:52 Drew School is still out a little bit on exactly how safe polyurethane is. They are probably quite safe, probably nearly as safe as latex. A lot of concern these days about latex allergies. I just read another big article about that. People are concerned about that. Polyurethane is a good option if you can't tolerate latex.

52:10 Adam And just as effective?

52:12 Drew Virtually.

52:13 Adam Little more Expensive?

52:14 Drew Yes.

52:14 Adam Okay. Let's talk to Adam. Adam.

52:18 Caller Yo.

52:18 Adam You're 19. What's up?

52:20 Caller I have a question for Rabbi Shmuley.

52:21 Shmuley Boteach Yes.

52:22 Caller Well, my mother is Jewish and my father is Gentile. And a long time ago, they gave me a choice of which religious upbringing I wanted.

52:33 Adam And you want Mazan? No.

52:36 Caller I chose neither. I chose, you know, basically, you know, the non-religious thing. And lately, I've been finding that I would like to become more Jewish. I was wondering if you had any recommendations of resources for stuff like that.

52:49 Shmuley Boteach Well, the first thing is you have to add a ha sound to your last name so that, as Adam does here with me.

52:54 Adam Ba-ta.

52:55 Shmuley Boteach You do realize that from a Jewish perspective, you're completely Jewish.

52:58 Adam Yeah. Your mom's Jewish.

52:59 Shmuley Boteach It goes to the mother. Um, I think it's a very good thing for you to...

53:03 She was me, like I knew.

53:05 Adam Whoa.

53:06 Caller Sorry, that was my mom.

53:07 Adam Yep, she is Jewish. Screaming at her 19-year-old son. Yeah. Hey, Adam?

53:13 Drew Yeah.

53:14 Adam You're calling from Burbank?

53:15 Drew Yeah.

53:15 Adam You gotta move out of Burbank. No good Jew would live in Burbank.

53:19 Caller We've actually got a very good synagogue here.

53:21 Adam All right.

53:21 Shmuley Boteach So you're asking how you go about finding out more?

53:24 Drew Yes. Sit down with the rabbi at that synagogue.

53:27 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, I think you should go to the synagogue. I think there's some great books out. You know, here in LA., Dennis Prager is very popular on the radio. He wrote a great book called The Nine Questions People Ask Most About Judaism. I wrote a book called An Intelligent Versus Guide to Judaism. Sold really well. My mother bought a copy. And then two more for her friends. And the web is a great tool. But there's nothing better than just actually being part of a community. And there's so many educational outreach organizations. So explore any or all of them. There's Chabad, there's Asha Torah, et cetera. Okay.

53:56 Adam All right, Adam?

53:56 Drew What is Chabad exactly?

53:57 Adam Good luck with the Judaism.

53:58 Shmuley Boteach Chabad is where I was educated. It's an international Jewish educational organization that sends emissaries to the most distant shores to try to open communities.

54:05 Drew But they have all kinds of interesting community services. I've sent them to...

54:09 Shmuley Boteach Right, like in Oxford, I... But they have recovery programs that are excellent. They do. They have an outstanding national addiction recovery program here in Los Angeles.

54:19 Adam What is the... I may have brought this up last time you were here, but the Southern California Jewish Center... Is it Jewish Center? Your gift of hope is a great deduction. First off, I never stop laughing. I laugh my ass off every time I hear that.

54:35 Shmuley Boteach Is that really their jingle?

54:36 Adam Yes. That is their jingle. And I thought, who else but the Jews would work the deduction right into the jingle.

54:43 Shmuley Boteach We're practical people.

54:44 Adam And the other thing that's great about it, Southern California Jewish Center... Yeah, it must be... Now, okay, a couple of questions, a couple of comments and some questions.

54:55 Shmuley Boteach You know, I think that the Jewish people exist only to entertain you, by the way.

54:58 Adam They're really funny.

54:59 Shmuley Boteach God called us forth from nothingness into existence just so that you could have your...

55:06 Drew I've never heard Adam say anything is really funny.

55:09 Adam That is hysterical. Your gift of hope is a great deduction, Southern California Jewish Center. And while all the other non-profit organizations are trying to get a dented can of garbanzo beans, these people are asking for land. If you want to donate land, RVs, boats, commercial properties, holy... Aircraft.

55:33 Yeah, aircraft.

55:35 Adam Jesus Christ, land.

55:36 Shmuley Boteach Yachts.

55:37 Adam Boy. And what do they do? Does most of the Jewish relief stuff go abroad? Are there Jews in this country that are...

55:45 Shmuley Boteach The benefit? Oh, absolutely.

55:47 Adam There are?

55:47 Shmuley Boteach It's something, they usually, it's probably like a 70-30, 70-domestic 30-year Israel, or it could be Jews in the Soviet Union or other poor countries.

55:56 Adam I always assume that because I think Jews are doing pretty well...

56:00 Shmuley Boteach There are poor Jews, by the way. I've met them, yes. In this country? There are plenty of poor Jews. They just don't revolve in your circles, Adam.

56:07 Adam Right.

56:08 Shmuley Boteach There are plenty of poor Jews.

56:09 Adam Let me define the poor Jew. Didn't get the gold package on the Cadillac. All right. I have never met one in the Southern California area.

56:20 Shmuley Boteach There are Jews who take in less than 300 bucks for their bar mitzvahs.

56:23 Adam Wow. Where do you stand on the bot mitzvah? I think this is a shame.

56:28 Shmuley Boteach My daughter just had a bot mitzvah. She's trying.

56:30 Oh, really? Yeah.

56:31 Shmuley Boteach She would have been very upset if she didn't have a bot mitzvah.

56:33 Adam Wasn't this trumped up, this female bar mitzvah in the 60s or something?

56:38 Shmuley Boteach It didn't exist for a thousand years. Your problems with the bot mitzvah, what about the bar mitzvah? It used to be this religious ceremony, the kid reads from the Torah. Today, I used to go to Star Wars bar mitzvahs when I was a kid. I mean, C-3PO coming with a tallis saying, I don't know. I mean, I've seen some wild bar mitzvahs. This wasn't the plan.

56:56 Adam Well, I'll tell you, if I was in charge of the Jews, which I may be, soon.

57:02 Shmuley Boteach Adam King of the Jews.

57:03 Adam King of the Jews, I would immediately do some work on the bar mitzvah things. As far as bar mitzvah has turned into tail hook, essentially. It used to be a very religious. It used to be a very religious-based ceremony, and now it's just turned into bucks and themes, and you got the Mets or you got Star Wars or whatever your team is, whatever your theme is. Now, the women are doing it. I would raise the age to 19, because if you've seen a 13-year-old Jewish boy, with the braces and the nappy hair and the skinny arms, there's no way is he a man who's got to get a ride home from his parents. He can't drink for another eight years. And I would eliminate the bot mitzvah, because there's no such thing as a young Jewish woman becoming a young Jewish man. The math doesn't work on it.

57:53 Shmuley Boteach I think you and Drew, you should start doing bar mitzvahs. Why don't you do bar mitzvahs?

57:58 Drew The Loveline Bar Mitzvah.

57:58 Adam There's probably money to be made, right?

58:01 Shmuley Boteach We'll give you a great jingle.

58:02 Adam What kind of hall did you...

58:03 Shmuley Boteach We moved the deduction straight into the bar mitzvah.

58:05 Adam Your gift of... What kind of hall did your daughter make on that bar mitzvah?

58:09 Shmuley Boteach We did it in our house. I wanted it to be more wholesome.

58:12 Adam Really?

58:12 Shmuley Boteach We got a great band. She didn't make a killing? No, she didn't actually because people just did not bring in the big bucks.

58:19 Adam They didn't bring the money? Oh boy.

58:21 Drew Where's your friend Michael when you need him?

58:24 Shmuley Boteach He couldn't make it.

58:25 Adam Robbie?

58:26 Yeah.

58:26 Adam You're 16.

58:27 Caller Wow, I can't believe I got through to you guys.

58:29 Adam What's up?

58:29 Caller You guys are awesome.

58:31 Shmuley Boteach First of all, you guys, that includes the rabbi, doesn't it?

58:34 Caller Yeah.

58:35 Shmuley Boteach Cool.

58:36 Caller I've heard a rabbi before, but I'm not sure if that was the same one or not.

58:39 Adam Same rabbi.

58:40 Drew Same rabbi.

58:41 Caller Yeah, you're awesome. You're very smart.

58:43 Shmuley Boteach This is a rabbi-free zone, except for...

58:46 Caller Adam, Ace Rockolla, May and May, you hung up on me the other day.

58:51 Adam Oh, I did?

58:51 Caller Yeah, I called in and you wanted...

58:54 Adam Oh, I'm just showing that I could do it again. That's my May and May and May name.

58:59 Caller You called in and what happened? You guys were kind of sick of talking to guys, and I was the first guy that you guys...

59:05 Drew Right, okay, so what's going on tonight before Adam kicked you out again?

59:09 Caller Oh, Dr. Drew, I never got my drdrew.com condom. They never came.

59:15 Drew I would go ahead and re... You know, I don't know what's going on with the condom thing.

59:19 Oh, whatever.

59:20 Adam Yeah, so go down to Planned Parenthood and grab some out of the fishbowl in the front.

59:24 Drew No, no, he should... It all bogged down at the end of the whole.com situation, but we got bought by Dr. Coop, so it's now a drcoop.com company. And they are going to resurrect a lot of those services, and probably in the next couple of weeks, in fact. So check it out again, Robbie.

59:39 Adam So what's the question?

59:40 Caller Okay, I'm sure you're all familiar with the flavored alcoholic beverages. Yeah.

59:46 Drew You mean like lemonade vodka, lemon vodka kind of thing?

59:50 Caller And since all those flavors have like a lot of sugar in them, I was wondering if that was like a variation of the yummy phase that Adam has been talking about.

59:59 Drew No.

1:00:00 Adam Yes.

1:00:00 Drew No, no, even Kevin and me, they're not drinking yummy vodka.

1:00:04 Adam No, but all, listen, all those sweet booze drinks, the flavored wines, the wild berry wines, the wine coolers, all the daiquiri-type drinks, they're all, were invented to get chicks drunk.

1:00:18 Drew But now they have like blackberry, but they have real hard liquors that have a slight flavor, you know, blackberry vodka.

1:00:23 Adam No, but he's not talking about that. He's talking about like Mike's hard lemonade and that Zima and all that stuff that's basically has the alcohol content of beer, but it has, you know, 12 teaspoons of sugar in it, a bunch of lemon flavoring, and it's so kids can get drunk. Kids and girls can get drunk.

1:00:41 Shmuley Boteach Got it. I think Robbie should get into Kosher sacramental wine, actually. Comes with a screw top and...

1:00:48 Adam Oh yeah, that's right.

1:00:49 Shmuley Boteach It doubles as an adhesive.

1:00:51 Adam And it is really... Manischewitz is really sweet stuff, right? I mean, that's almost like the kind of Boone's farm wine.

1:01:00 Shmuley Boteach We use to tile our bathrooms at home at Manischewitz.

1:01:02 Adam Yeah, I mean, it's really sappy, syrupy... Syrupy stuff, right?

1:01:07 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, you put it on your pancakes, it's good stuff. No one knows who invented this Kosher kiddish wine stuff, but it is seriously harmful.

1:01:14 Adam Is there a good bottle of Kosher wine?

1:01:16 Shmuley Boteach No, no, there are. Even Manischewitz is a good wine.

1:01:18 Adam No, it's not. It's a mess.

1:01:20 Shmuley Boteach There are a lot of good... There are Kosher wines that actually come with a cork, believe it or not.

1:01:24 Adam But, Drew, have you ever drank that Manischewitz?

1:01:26 Drew I'm sure I have.

1:01:27 Adam It is...

1:01:27 Drew It was not a memorable experience.

1:01:28 Adam Syrup, bad, sweet, syrupy.

1:01:31 Shmuley Boteach Your grandfather must have given you some of that when you were a really bad boy, Adam.

1:01:34 Adam Yeah, I was...

1:01:35 Shmuley Boteach I think you're blocking it from your memory.

1:01:37 Adam No, I...

1:01:39 Shmuley Boteach You see it as a form of abuse.

1:01:40 Drew You hid the matzah, didn't you?

1:01:42 Adam No, we never... I never did do that matzah hiding nonsense, but I think we did leave a plate open for Elijah once or something. Oh, who knows? Mike?

1:01:52 Yes, sir.

1:01:53 Adam You're 24.

1:01:54 Caller Yeah. Well, I have a... It's kind of a question, not too many people's... A drug... A question about a drug not too many people seem to know a lot about.

1:02:03 Drew Yeah.

1:02:04 Adam All right.

1:02:05 Caller For several years now, I've been using a drug called oxycodone.

1:02:09 Drew Yeah.

1:02:10 Caller Which is a very powerful narcotic slash pain reliever. Right.

1:02:16 Drew You're a drug addict, or you're an opiate addict.

1:02:18 Caller Yeah.

1:02:18 Drew So what's the question?

1:02:20 Caller Basically, I have no money for methadone treatment or any type of withdrawal treatment or anything. So what do I do?

1:02:30 Drew Check with county facilities. Because usually there are county funded beds at most and many programs. Somewhere there are beds available. You may have to wait quite some time for it, where they can put you in and detox you, and realize that detox is the easiest thing you're going to go through. As miserable as it is, it's nothing compared to the work you have to do to get over the addictive disease and stay sober.

1:02:50 Adam Oh, and what can he do in the meantime? And what if he's six months off of a bed?

1:02:55 Drew How much Oxycontin are you taking?

1:02:57 Caller Well, it started out as...

1:02:58 Drew How much are you taking now?

1:03:00 Caller 80 to 100 milligrams.

1:03:02 Drew What are you taking? Forty-five twice a day? Something like that? Yeah. A little more.

1:03:07 Caller I mean, I spaced it out through the course of about 24 hours.

1:03:10 Drew What's the... How many milligrams per tablet you have?

1:03:12 Caller They go from 20, 40, and 80 milligram tablets.

1:03:15 Drew So you have 24s and 80s. Yeah. Okay. Try to cut it down by 10% roughly, say, every three to five days, okay? Take a slow taper, see if you can do that. If you can't do that, realize there's no chance of doing anything other than a cold turkey and just get a bit somewhere.

1:03:36 Caller What I've tried in the past, I've tried other types of painkillers like...

1:03:41 Drew No, it's all the same. All the same.

1:03:43 Caller Right. But I've tried, say, War Tabs or Percocet.

1:03:46 Drew All the same.

1:03:48 Adam For you.

1:03:49 Caller But to wean it off...

1:03:50 Drew Mike, you just know it's all the same. All right.

1:03:52 Adam So let me do this math. You're taking a pill how many times a day?

1:03:59 Caller Let's just say, for example, I'm taking a 20, four to five times a day.

1:04:04 Drew Four times a day, these are taken.

1:04:05 Adam Four times a day you're taking a 20-milligram pill.

1:04:07 Caller I'm crushing it up and sniffing.

1:04:10 Adam Okay. Now, you're suggesting that he crushed that up and not crushed a whole pill up. Is that what you're saying?

1:04:18 Drew I'm suggesting you try to cut it down. He's got 20, 40, and 80-milligram pills. He's probably doing 40s four times a day in reality. Try to get it down.

1:04:27 Caller My biggest problem, if I go for, say, more than 12 hours, we're talking like...

1:04:31 Drew You'll have withdrawal, bad withdrawal.

1:04:33 Caller Yeah.

1:04:34 Drew Listen, let's not mess around here. You need to try to cut it down as best you can and get into a hospital and get detoxed. You're totally wasting your time on anything else. You might as well. It's the same thing as heroin. You might as well be slamming large doses of heroin because it's the same biology.

1:04:49 Adam What is Oxycontin? What is it? Is it a painkiller?

1:04:52 Drew Yeah. It's Percocet, and long-acting Percocet, high dose.

1:04:57 Adam What would you prescribe it for?

1:04:59 Drew Cancer.

1:05:00 Adam Oh, really?

1:05:00 Drew Cancer pain.

1:05:02 Adam True. Just because I have to talk about this stuff all the time and I'm not familiar with all the drugs, why don't you bring one of everything in? And let me just see if I can familiarize myself with it.

1:05:11 Drew If you guys are going to knock you on your ass you'll be quiet during part of the program.

1:05:14 Adam I think I could.

1:05:16 Shmuley Boteach Make them mellow. Make them nicer.

1:05:18 Adam Why don't you do that, Drew? I'd like to get some.

1:05:21 Shmuley Boteach It'll be a service for humanity.

1:05:22 Adam Thank you, Rabbi. Travis?

1:05:26 Caller Yeah.

1:05:26 Adam You're 16.

1:05:27 Caller Yeah.

1:05:28 Adam What's up?

1:05:28 Caller Okay, I started talking to this girl about a month ago and I've seen her about five times and she's, I'm talking to her about two weeks ago. I told her I kind of liked her on the phone and I kind of had a boner when I told her that, so you know how it makes you say things you don't really want to.

1:05:43 Adam Yeah, no. I started my mom the other night.

1:05:47 Caller I had a boner.

1:05:48 Drew What did you say to her?

1:05:49 Adam What do you want to say to her? I've listened to that dad when he divorced you. I thought he was nuts, man. He's saying it.

1:05:56 Drew All right, Travis, what's the deal?

1:05:57 Caller All right, I told her that I kind of liked her and I wanted to go out with her and pursue a relationship.

1:06:04 Adam Why were you talking to her on the phone?

1:06:06 Caller Because she lives a little like maybe 15 miles away and I wouldn't say it to her face because it's like...

1:06:13 Drew No, why did you call her in the first place? Why did you speak to her in the first place? Why did you call her? What was the pretense for the phone call?

1:06:20 Caller I just wanted to talk to her, I guess.

1:06:22 Drew Is she a friend of yours?

1:06:23 Caller Well, she's one of my older sister's friends.

1:06:27 Drew I see, and you just found the number and called her up?

1:06:29 Caller Well, actually, my older sister is like, yeah, she likes you, and I'm like, oh my god. And I was like, I was kind of stoked because she's older than me. And I was like, yeah, I think the girl likes me.

1:06:38 Adam All right, hold on. I'll tell you, we have the world's dumbest callers to this show. Why did you call her? I wanted to talk to her. No. You know what I'm saying?

1:06:51 Drew Yeah, it's called concrete thinking.

1:06:53 Adam Yeah.

1:06:54 Drew They can't abstract.

1:06:56 Adam Yeah, they can't. I mean, they hear.

1:06:58 Drew You know, it's funny, one of my sons just like went through a rapid phase of growth last couple of weeks and he started abstracting all of a sudden. I noticed it when I say, you want to come out and play baseball, but you stand there, let's play baseball, let's go, let's go, let's go. This time he went, I'll be outside and meet you in five minutes.

1:07:11 Adam Oh, yeah.

1:07:11 Drew I was like, whoa.

1:07:12 Adam It's becoming a man.

1:07:13 Drew It's abstracting.

1:07:14 Adam Right. Travis has not yet reached the point that your seven-year-old son has reached. Okay. All right, Travis. So you call her because you want to talk to her. Yeah.

1:07:24 Caller And then she started like saying stuff that she wouldn't usually tell other people or other guys and kind of...

1:07:29 Adam Right. Yeah. And you asked her out on a date?

1:07:31 Caller No, I didn't ask her out. I just said I liked her.

1:07:33 Adam Right.

1:07:35 Caller So, and then like, that was about two weeks ago. And lately, about a week and a half, she's been calling like 15 times a day and bugging the hell out of me. And I never really liked her in the first place.

1:07:47 Adam How old is she?

1:07:48 Caller She's 17.

1:07:49 Adam And does she get you on the phone when she calls?

1:07:53 Caller No, like I have my sister and my mom.

1:07:56 Drew Why don't you have your sister mop up for you?

1:07:59 Caller No, because...

1:08:01 Caller Well, she's...

1:08:03 Shmuley Boteach I'd actually say that since you started, you initiated this through the phone call, you shouldn't get someone else to do your dirty work. You should be very mature and say, you know, I made a mistake. I'm sorry if I misled you or led you on. You know, whatever. This isn't right. I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry if I hurt you. And just be a man and heal the love wounds. But don't run from it and don't complain that she, you know, you started this. Now you're complaining she's calling. Take responsibility.

1:08:28 Adam And this time, beat off before you call. It removes that sense of urgency. Dude, it is. It's true. You know, it's funny.

1:08:38 Shmuley Boteach You know, you know, you know, you see, I make the statements, you give the commentary.

1:08:41 Adam So, yeah, I'm sure that Michael Jackson, why don't you? I'll take up with you. We'll get something done. You know, I don't know why it's just ran through my mind, but you know, it's funny. And I know you guys aren't going to come to this, but it happens to me from time to time. Once in a while, I'll be whacking off just in the middle of the day, you know, four in the afternoon or something, the phone will ring and I'll be interrupted. And I'll pick the phone up and I'll be angry at the person that calls. But I can't really explain to them why I'm angry at them. I'm just irritated at them. And it's so funny.

1:09:14 Drew This is really, you should not have said this. You should not have told this story because eight out of ten times that I call you, you're angry. And now every time I'll be, oh, holy Christ, what have I gotten into here?

1:09:24 Shmuley Boteach Forget about that. What about when he's on the radio and he sounds so angry?

1:09:28 Adam It's really funny though. And then I'll hang the phone up and I'll go, Jesus Christ, you got to call and ask me that at four. It's four in the afternoon. Come on now. Have some decency. All right.

1:09:40 Shmuley Boteach But at this age, teenagers have got to learn how to treat a woman even if you're 16. And you can't just start things and later, I just change my mind. These are people. You can't break people's hearts and act with impunity and leave all these scars.

1:09:54 Drew You're right.

1:09:54 Shmuley Boteach They'll be a gentleman.

1:09:55 Adam Well, as we were talking about off the air with the rabbis, sometimes on the air, it's a sort of get what you can get world at this point. Other people don't really exist except for to serve you. And if you want somebody to have sex with, fine, then they exist. And if you all of a sudden don't want them for any reason, then they don't exist. But there's no sense of how is this person feeling? What did I make them feel like? What is my responsibility in this? And how can I rectify it? It's just I'll just dodge the calls and hopefully she'll go away. Maybe she'll kill herself. OK, speaking of killing yourself, we got to take a break. And Drew's got to...

1:10:36 Drew My frost is going to...

1:10:37 Adam Drew, you got a whiz, right? All right, we'll be back.

1:10:47 Hi, I'm Rob Schneider. You're listening to Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew on Loveline, my favorite show. You're doing it.

1:10:54 Adam Yes, you is. It is Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:11:00 Drew The movie's doing OK, isn't it, Rob? I don't know.

1:11:03 Adam I haven't been so busy lately. I haven't heard anything about that. Coming up on Loveline in the next days and weeks, the cult's going to be in here, Trickey's going to be here, Dave Navarro, Pennywise, 311. Lots of good bands tonight. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Why Can't I Fall in Love, is the name of his book. The Rabbi's a very wise man, and I suggest that you read what he has to say. Let's get back to the phones and speak to Dave. It's 41. Dave?

1:11:33 Caller Hi. Good evening. Love your show.

1:11:35 Adam Thanks.

1:11:36 Caller This is for the Rabbi. I have a dilemma. I married to a wonderful person, and she's not a Jew. I'm a Jew. And now she likes to have a kid. And when we got married, we agreed that if she liked to have a kid, she must convert to be a Jew. And now she doesn't like to convert to be a Jew.

1:11:58 Shmuley Boteach And you want to know what you should do?

1:12:00 Caller Yes.

1:12:01 Shmuley Boteach Okay. You're already engaged?

1:12:03 Caller We're already married for five years.

1:12:05 Adam Married for five years.

1:12:06 Caller I got it.

1:12:06 Shmuley Boteach Okay. Right. Well, it's a serious issue, because if she is not Jewish, your children, at least in the Jewish community, will not be Jewish.

1:12:16 Adam Can't they convert at some point?

1:12:17 Shmuley Boteach They can.

1:12:18 Adam All right.

1:12:19 Shmuley Boteach I don't believe, I don't know, I don't believe in ripping apart marriages for reasons such as these. And what you really have to do, I think, is at least persuade her to go and talk to a rabbi together, someone who might be able to explain to her what this all entails and what her requirements for her would be so she can make an informed decision. Have you done that?

1:12:38 Caller Yes, I try. And she went along for a long time. Then she realized to be a Jew, she must give up Jesus as her savior. And then she got scared and she changed her mind.

1:12:49 Shmuley Boteach Well, what you can do is force her to convert, because first of all, the conversion is invalid. And secondly, that's not really respectful. You marry a woman, suddenly say, I don't like you the way you are. And for the sake of the kid, you suddenly have to change. That's not love, that's love on your terms.

1:13:02 Adam What about the Jews for Jesus? Are they a bunch of crackpots?

1:13:06 Shmuley Boteach I debated the head of Jews for Jesus on Larry King a little while ago, and I've now challenged him to a public debate, and I hope he'll do it. We've been corresponding about the terms of the debate.

1:13:14 Adam Are there other, is it Jews for Jesus?

1:13:16 Shmuley Boteach Jews for Jesus is like Muslims for Buddha or Americans for Stalin. I mean, come on, these are two totally incompatible systems.

1:13:24 Adam Just to get everybody up to speed.

1:13:26 Shmuley Boteach Or Adam for marriage.

1:13:27 Adam Including myself. The Jews, while they like Jesus, don't look at him as a Messiah, right?

1:13:35 Shmuley Boteach We look at Jesus, many look at Jesus as someone who had inspired ethical teachings, but in the end of the day, he still went against traditional Jewish teachings. He's certainly not Messiah, and he's certainly not the son of God, because we don't believe that anybody is the son of God. My mother's opinion of me notwithstanding.

1:13:49 Adam So God is the Messiah? No, no, no.

1:13:54 Shmuley Boteach The Messiah in Judaism is nothing but a great leader who will persuade the nations of the world to beat their swords into plowshares, bring peace. He is a mortal person. He's just a man. But he's a great man.

1:14:08 Adam But he's not arrived yet.

1:14:09 Shmuley Boteach No, he's not arrived yet. And we know he hasn't arrived because the main thing is world peace. And judging from the events in the Middle East, there ain't no world peace.

1:14:17 Adam Right. So he has not arrived yet. And he didn't arrive in the form of Jesus. Now, your wife, like many religions, and I don't know what religion is your wife right now, Dave?

1:14:28 Caller She is seven day, seven day, Ebony. Oh, boy.

1:14:30 Adam That's a pain in the ass.

1:14:31 Shmuley Boteach Well, there's a lot in common in the seven day events in the Jews. But look, A, you can't force her to become a Jew because that's disrespectful and it's not valid. B, you've got to work this out because you guys will fight over how to raise the baby. And that's going to undermine the marriage anyway. And that you don't want either. C, Adam's solution of Jews or Jesus is not a solution.

1:14:49 Adam Why not? She's Jewish and she still gets to keep Jesus.

1:14:52 Drew No, this goes under usual.

1:14:54 Shmuley Boteach Because it's not, it not only is it not workable, it's not real. These are incompatible doctrines, which are tiny little insignificant.

1:15:01 Adam Tell that to the Jews for Jesus people. They look at themselves as Jews.

1:15:05 Shmuley Boteach Well, okay, the American Communist Party looked at themselves as valid as well. Capitalism, Communism, a totally different system.

1:15:12 Adam I think marriage means compromise. You could slide her in on a technicality here.

1:15:16 Shmuley Boteach But a compromise here was that she had a sex change operation, become a man or something. I mean, you're talking about for us, at least in our belief system.

1:15:22 Adam Really struck a nerve here with the Jews for Jesus. You hear that? Wow. It's going nuts here.

1:15:26 Shmuley Boteach You know how to get me, you know how to get me.

1:15:28 Adam All right, but let me ask some real questions. How long does it take someone to convert?

1:15:35 Shmuley Boteach Okay, for us, a conversion is acceptance of the rules of Judaism, as outlined in the Torah. That means you have to be knowledgeable about the Torah and you have to commit to living the Jewish life. I mean, you want to become a doctor, you can't do it overnight. And no patients are going to come to you if you have no knowledge. But it's about, I mean, it would be a minimum, it's about a year, at least a year.

1:15:55 Adam No crash course, internet thing.

1:15:57 Shmuley Boteach People offer it, but it's not valid. What good is it? It's not accepted by anyone. I know some guy who offers like a 48-hour conversion. You know, go to a doctor at a 48-hour degree.

1:16:07 Adam All right, but here's, I think, and Dave, stop me if I'm wrong, but you need her to technically become Jewish so that your children will become Jewish, not to necessarily embrace the entire Jewish lifestyle. Am I right?

1:16:24 Shmuley Boteach Yes.

1:16:24 Adam All right, so you get the 48-hour conversion. You, she becomes technically Jewish. It's all this religion's one big technicality anyway. And then you raise your kids technically Jewish.

1:16:35 Shmuley Boteach Okay, Adam.

1:16:37 Adam No problem. Oh, wait.

1:16:37 Shmuley Boteach Oh, Adam, my son.

1:16:39 Adam Yes.

1:16:39 Shmuley Boteach Let me explain.

1:16:40 Adam Yeah.

1:16:40 Shmuley Boteach You can't become an American citizen in any crash course. You have to have a basic knowledge of the Constitution, Declaration of Independence. You have to be committed to the principles of freedom as a strong constitution. And then you got to take an oath and you have a pledge of allegiance. So that all makes sense because it ain't no big joke to be an American. We take it seriously. How much more so?

1:16:56 Adam Or you can pay someone three grand and marry them and become an American citizen and get divorced a week later.

1:17:02 Shmuley Boteach Right.

1:17:02 Adam And if that's what I'm saying, Dave needs to do.

1:17:04 Shmuley Boteach And if immigration found out about that, they didn't validate it because they say, uh-uh, that ain't real.

1:17:09 Adam All right. Hey, Dave.

1:17:10 Shmuley Boteach And in the same way that I'm proud to be an American, same thing is true about being a Jew.

1:17:15 Adam Dave? Yes. You got your hands full here with this one. I think-

1:17:20 Shmuley Boteach You can take the Adam 48-hour Crash Course and only Adam will-

1:17:23 Adam Well, she's not going to do the one-year thing. She's not going to memorize that Torah.

1:17:27 Shmuley Boteach It takes a year to have a kid.

1:17:28 Adam She doesn't want to do it.

1:17:30 Shmuley Boteach Okay, well, at least let him- have you taken her to a rabbi who can at least explain the Jewish religion to her in a way that she might find it attractive? Or have you just stuffed it down the throat and said, this kid's going to be Jewish or I'm out of here?

1:17:45 Caller You know, we went to the synagogue a few times and she enjoyed it, so it's pretty nice.

1:17:49 Shmuley Boteach But have you talked to anyone that can explain it to her?

1:17:52 Caller No, this is the next time she's willing to meet a rabbi and maybe it's going to be the next thing that we like to do, but I'm refusing to have a kid who's going to burn to a woman as much as I love her who are not Jewish.

1:18:04 Drew Oh boy.

1:18:05 Adam All right, well, look, and where are you from?

1:18:07 Caller Sacramento, California.

1:18:09 Adam I see. I recognize the accent. You one of those sec-phartic Jews?

1:18:15 Caller Yeah, I came here ten years ago from Israel.

1:18:16 Adam Sacramento. I tried to work the pun in there. He didn't get it. Oh boy, what a pain in the ass. Look, you married her, you love her, hash it out with her for Christ's sake. I agree, hash it out. Make the marriage work. And, you know, is, well, I was going to say is good, but as bizarre as religion is, and as good as it is sometimes, the whole idea is to get people together, not break families apart.

1:18:40 Shmuley Boteach I'm going to have you moderate this debate between me and the head of Jews for Jesus. You can be in the middle on that one.

1:18:45 Adam I'd really like to meet that crackpot. Becky?

1:18:48 Hi, how you guys doing?

1:18:49 Adam Good, you're 15. What's up?

1:18:50 Caller Yeah, I've been masturbating since I was 11. I was wondering if that was normal, because I was always taught that it was wrong, because I'm an orthodox Jew.

1:19:01 Drew Right. Somebody actually taught you that?

1:19:04 Caller Not taught me, but I've always heard from my siblings. I have 10 older siblings.

1:19:09 Drew 10?

1:19:10 Caller Yeah.

1:19:11 Caller Oh.

1:19:12 Caller Exactly.

1:19:13 Caller Wow.

1:19:14 Shmuley Boteach I think that's cool, anyway.

1:19:15 Caller Oh, my God.

1:19:16 Drew I just, I pain for the parents.

1:19:19 Caller Yeah, exactly. And I was like, you know, I always heard it was wrong, and when I do it, I feel really guilty.

1:19:27 Drew All right, Rabbi.

1:19:29 Shmuley Boteach Well, look, first, I have seven kids, and I think big families are nice. Secondly, even though Adam has passed out with my saying that, secondly... He's still conscious. Secondly, look, Jews do not look at sex as something to be guilty about at all. We look at sex as, in the Bible, there's no word for sex. The word is knowledge. We look at it as the ultimate way by which a man and a woman can know each other. So the ideology is that you have to be careful with your sexuality to ensure that when you want to use it later in love with a man, that it will be a form of knowledge. Now, should you feel bad about masturbating and guilty?

1:20:05 Drew No.

1:20:06 Shmuley Boteach The idea behind it, or not doing it, I guess, is not that you're going to turn blind and all this other silly stuff, but it's rather that our sexuality is supposed to be the engine by which we gravitate to a man, the engine by which we remain close to a man. No one knows how to keep men and women together anymore today. There's a 63% divorce rate. The whole Sex in the City phenomenon is about four women who enjoy each other's company far more than they enjoy any other man. In fact, they only date men in order to entertain each other the morning after with stories. So, use your sexuality to impel, to propel you to a man. The thing about masturbation is that it's self-contained. It's about self-pleasuring. And while that isn't the worst thing in the world, obviously, it's supposed to be used to push you towards someone else. And I know that everyone says, oh, come on, masturbation is something benign. But I'm really concerned about what are we going to use as the glue that keeps a man and a woman together? And I would like to see men and women pleasuring each other. Now, obviously, you're very young for that, and that's why you wait to experience sexuality in the confines of committed relationship later when you're married. But you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You should understand it, and you should try to transcend it. And I think, and always understand that your sexual energy is something beautiful, and you should harness it, God willing, in a few years' time, to make it something that does keep you joyous with someone for the rest of your life.

1:21:17 Adam All right. Becky? Are you there?

1:21:20 Drew Enjoy.

1:21:20 Adam Hey, Becky. That's Adam's way of saying enjoy. Listen, I agree with the Rabbi, and I thought it was pretty bold of him calling semen glue that way, at least as I understood it, halfway into it.

1:21:33 Drew Well, it's certain you've had some experience.

1:21:34 Adam But you have ten brothers and sisters?

1:21:39 Caller Yeah, older than me, yeah.

1:21:41 Adam Give me all their crazy Jewish names.

1:21:44 Caller Oh, come on. I can't do that.

1:21:45 Adam Come on. Name them off.

1:21:47 Caller There's Adam.

1:21:50 Drew Oh, God. That's crazy.

1:21:52 Adam I mean, they're crazy. They're Jewish names.

1:21:56 Shmuley Boteach Well, maybe it's Adam.

1:21:58 Caller No, no. Well, that's his English version of his name.

1:22:01 Adam Yeah, I want the crazy Jewish version.

1:22:03 Caller The crazy Jewish version? OK, there's Minaj.

1:22:06 Adam There we go.

1:22:07 Caller Really all kinds of crazy names.

1:22:10 Adam All right. Thank you for not helping me at all again. You know all the crazy Jewish names, your brothers and sisters, right?

1:22:17 Caller Uh, yeah.

1:22:18 Shmuley Boteach By the way, you know, I'd appreciate it. And I'm not saying this just to plug the book. Or maybe I am. But you should read my Kosher Sex Book. I discuss all this kind of this stuff. That's who I wrote it for people like you. I hope you will read it.

1:22:27 Caller All right. I will.

1:22:27 Shmuley Boteach All right.

1:22:28 Adam Hey, Becky, give me the crazy Jewish names. Ready? Go.

1:22:32 Caller All right. Maishi, Manas, Swirly, Rahul, Abhi, Sarah, Kani, Manya, Bacha and Rezi.

1:22:38 Adam There you go.

1:22:39 Caller And then there's me.

1:22:40 Adam What's yours?

1:22:41 Caller Well, Rivka.

1:22:43 Adam Thank you. See? Wasn't so hard.

1:22:45 Shmuley Boteach You know, you should have been, you should have been Amish, Adam. I should have been. Yeah, we should have been like a horse and buggy.

1:22:50 Drew His name is Hezekiah. It is.

1:22:52 Adam I like working with wood. I hate computers and technology.

1:22:56 Drew You hate razors.

1:22:58 Shmuley Boteach And you don't wear buttons.

1:22:59 Adam That's right.

1:23:01 Caller Oh, wait.

1:23:01 Adam Can they wear buttons?

1:23:02 Shmuley Boteach They can't wear buttons.

1:23:03 Caller Really?

1:23:04 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, it's a sign of pride. Only zippers. No, no, they use pins actually.

1:23:09 Adam There's another flip of Crackbox over there.

1:23:12 Shmuley Boteach And you're the most normal person that ever lived, right?

1:23:14 Adam Thank you. I know you're being facetious. We'll be back. Yes! Oh, quiet down, girl. It's Loveline. I'm Adam Carolla. That is Dr. Drew over there. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is our guest tonight. Why Can't I Fall in Love is the name of his book. And a quick Torah question. I was just heard something that the best selling book each and every year is the Bible. How does the Torah sell? And does the Torah, you read right to left, right? Is that correct?

1:23:50 Shmuley Boteach That's correct.

1:23:50 Adam And is it book form? It's not a scroll or anything. It's a scroll. Or is it a scroll?

1:23:56 Shmuley Boteach It's scroll form. It's written on parchment, vellum.

1:23:59 Adam Can you go down to a B. Dalton's and buy a Torah?

1:24:02 Drew Can you go on Amazon?

1:24:03 Shmuley Boteach You can buy the Torah in book form and read it to yourself. But in the synagogue it's read from a scroll.

1:24:09 Adam And how many pages is the Torah?

1:24:13 Drew One.

1:24:13 Shmuley Boteach It's a scroll.

1:24:15 Adam Yeah, I know. But in book form, what's it manifest itself?

1:24:19 Shmuley Boteach Probably 500 pages or so. Really?

1:24:21 Adam Well, what's the Bible?

1:24:23 Drew Well, New and Old Testament?

1:24:25 Shmuley Boteach Right.

1:24:26 Drew I think you're confusing all these different things.

1:24:30 Shmuley Boteach The New Testament is shorter.

1:24:31 Adam How dare you? Go ahead.

1:24:33 Shmuley Boteach Well, our Bible is the Hebrew Bible, which consists of 24 books.

1:24:36 Drew Which is the Old Testament.

1:24:37 Adam Oh, Christ. Yeah, that's too much. But now, what's the Torah?

1:24:42 Shmuley Boteach We can give you the abridged version.

1:24:43 Adam Is the Torah all of those?

1:24:45 Shmuley Boteach Torah is all of those. Usually, when people speak about the Torah, they speak of the five books of Moses, the first five books, which is the main part of the Torah, which is what's read in the synagogue every week.

1:24:54 Adam They made a movie out of the first book, right?

1:24:57 Shmuley Boteach A lot of the first book.

1:24:58 Adam Didn't Heston star in that?

1:25:00 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, he looked just like Moses.

1:25:06 Adam No one less Jewish than Chuck Heston, is there? I mean, he shouldn't have played Moses. Neo?

1:25:13 Caller Yeah?

1:25:15 Adam You're 17. What's up?

1:25:17 Caller Yeah, I just want to get your opinion on that.

1:25:19 Adam The guy who should have played Moses is the guy who played the fiddler on the roof guy all those years ago.

1:25:25 Drew You know, Topol.

1:25:26 Shmuley Boteach Yeah, I'm Topol.

1:25:28 Adam Yeah. Go ahead, Neo.

1:25:30 Caller Yeah, man, I was thinking about asking out this 12 year old girl.

1:25:33 Adam You're thinking about a 12 year old girl?

1:25:35 Caller Yeah.

1:25:36 Adam Yeah?

1:25:36 Caller You are an asshole.

1:25:37 Drew You're not gonna do anything, right?

1:25:39 Caller Yeah.

1:25:39 Drew You're not gonna do anything?

1:25:40 Caller No, I want to do it.

1:25:42 Adam You do?

1:25:43 Drew Yeah. Why would you call and tell us that you want to commit a crime?

1:25:46 Shmuley Boteach Because I guess he doesn't want to. You're trying to, are you looking for ways to get off this idea? I mean, or get rid of this idea.

1:25:52 Drew It's illegal to do this.

1:25:54 Caller I just want to ask you, what do you think about it?

1:25:56 Drew I think it's a horrible idea. You will be damaging her. And you'll be committing a crime.

1:26:00 Caller How is it a crime?

1:26:02 Drew If you have sex with someone underage, even if you are underage, it's a crime.

1:26:07 Adam And where do you know this girl from?

1:26:09 Caller I've seen her at the mall, become friends.

1:26:12 Drew How much pot do you smoke, Neo?

1:26:14 Adam A little bit.

1:26:15 Drew Yeah.

1:26:15 Adam A little bit.

1:26:16 Drew Did you just finish a couple bongos just now?

1:26:18 Caller No, no.

1:26:19 Drew Well, that's bad news.

1:26:20 Shmuley Boteach A little bit is the whole fireplace full. Look, even if it wasn't a crime, don't you understand that she's a child? I mean, take the law away for a second. You're an intelligent guy. You were smart enough to dial the number.

1:26:31 Adam It's not over, Joe.

1:26:33 Shmuley Boteach Don't you understand that she is a child? Stop looking at her as a woman. She is a kid, a child. She is 12. Do you get it?

1:26:41 Adam No. All right.

1:26:43 Drew At least you're honest, Neo. I'll give you that.

1:26:44 Adam All right, Neo, let me try to infuse a little knowledge into you before I hang up on your stoner ass. Here's the deal. Forget about you for a second. Think about her. Put your needs aside for 10 minutes and focus on somebody else. You will be hurting her. And eventually, you will hurt yourself because you will go through your life with this knowledge.

1:27:09 Drew You'll be that guy.

1:27:11 Adam You will be the guy who...

1:27:12 Drew Who rapes the 12 year old...

1:27:13 Adam .rape the 12 year old. All right? So just find yourself a...

1:27:17 Drew Think of what if that were your sister.

1:27:19 Adam Nice 16 or 17 year old stoner and settle in. Please. Jesus Christ.

1:27:25 Caller Enjoy.

1:27:26 Adam Kim?

1:27:27 Drew He's a despicable asshole.

1:27:28 Adam Thank you. You're 40. What's up?

1:27:31 Caller Hi, Adam. It's a pleasure talking to you. Let me first tell you that.

1:27:35 Adam Well, thank you.

1:27:36 Caller I love you.

1:27:38 Drew Whoa.

1:27:38 Caller You're hilarious.

1:27:39 Drew Kim, are you okay?

1:27:40 Caller Yeah.

1:27:41 Drew All right.

1:27:41 Shmuley Boteach What are you smoking?

1:27:43 Caller Oh, I just smoked a joint, yeah.

1:27:46 Drew Okay.

1:27:47 Caller I did. And I also want to say-

1:27:50 Shmuley Boteach I love what humor can bring out in this show.

1:27:52 Caller Dr. Drew, I really, as a member of the Ohio Right to Life Society, I really appreciate all your work that you do to try to stop abortion.

1:28:04 Drew Okay.

1:28:05 Caller And I really do appreciate that.

1:28:06 Drew My pleasure.

1:28:07 Shmuley Boteach Just before you go on, I just want to ask Drew and Adam quickly, are there any people who are not stone who do listen to Loveline?

1:28:14 Adam Not that we're aware of.

1:28:15 Drew No.

1:28:15 Adam That's a requisite. About four years ago, a guy called in and wasn't stone, but we quickly got rid of him. Yeah.

1:28:24 Caller I don't do it all the time.

1:28:25 Adam I understand.

1:28:26 Drew And don't mention that again either.

1:28:27 Caller I'm like you, Adam. I'm like you. I just, you know-

1:28:31 Drew Just to go to sleep at night. Yeah.

1:28:34 Adam So you're a pro-lifer who smokes weed?

1:28:38 Caller Oh yeah.

1:28:39 Adam Interesting.

1:28:39 Drew But you know, she sounds like a real pro-lifer. You know what I mean? Right.

1:28:43 Adam And you guys, is the group that you're with, are they for the morning after pill or against it?

1:28:49 Caller Oh, I am for it.

1:28:51 Drew See, you know what I'm saying?

1:28:52 Adam Good. You're doing the Lord's work or-

1:28:54 Caller I am doing the Lord's work.

1:28:55 Adam Whoever the Messiah is who hasn't arrived.

1:28:57 Caller That's right, I am. Because I know you don't believe in God, but you know, I do. And I am a Christian, even though I do smoke weed occasionally.

1:29:07 Adam Sure.

1:29:07 Caller That comes from the earth. You know, God put it here.

1:29:11 Drew Listen, he also put it in Ammonita Phylloides, which if you take one little nibble of, will kill you dead.

1:29:16 Adam Okay, but he gave her the ability to abstract and rationalize.

1:29:23 Shmuley Boteach Rationalize, exactly. What about the famous saying?

1:29:25 Adam The Lord wouldn't have given her that ability to rationalize.

1:29:28 Caller I've been married for 21 years. I've been married for 21 years.

1:29:32 Drew Congratulations.

1:29:32 Caller I'm the same man. I have two boys.

1:29:35 Drew That's awesome.

1:29:36 Caller Yeah, I mean, you know, I know you guys put down a lot of people. In fact, wait a minute.

1:29:39 Drew No, no, I mean, that's like.

1:29:40 Caller For getting married really young. And I, you know, I was young, but, and I wasn't pregnant when I got married.

1:29:47 Drew How old was your husband?

1:29:49 Caller My husband's 43.

1:29:50 Drew The only thing I know about this couple is they didn't live in California.

1:29:54 Adam Right.

1:29:54 Drew They never would have left it here.

1:29:55 Adam All right. So, Kim, did you have a question or a criticism for the rabbi?

1:30:01 Caller Well, I kind of, I'm just, first I want to know why the Jews do not believe that Jesus is the son of God, if he could explain that to me.

1:30:14 Shmuley Boteach Well, first of all, let me, let me make it.

1:30:17 Adam I got about 40 seconds.

1:30:19 Shmuley Boteach Let me make it clear that I'm not, in no way trying to undermine your faith or your religion. I'm speaking from the perspective of my own. We believe that God is everywhere. God is disembodied, that God is not prejudicial by coming in the form of a man or a woman that would disenfranchise women. So there's no such thing as a son of God because God has no offspring. We don't believe God impregnated a woman. That doesn't mean that Christianity is a false religion. It just means that it's antithetical to Judaism. Does that answer your question?

1:30:46 Adam Yeah, it does. I put it on hold because we got to take a break. Listen, Jesus is the son of God. Please, Jesus, do you guys really believe that nonsense? Come on, all you screwballs out there. Is that really what you need? Do you have to cling to that?

1:31:02 Shmuley Boteach There's a diplomatic and non-diplomatic response here, Adam.

1:31:05 Adam Well, listen, let's face it, most religion is nonsense based on nothing, but people don't want to die.

1:31:12 Shmuley Boteach Well, let me ask you a question. What about the lust for celebrity and to try to be really successful? And that has real meaning and purpose to it?

1:31:18 Adam No, not at all.

1:31:19 Shmuley Boteach Okay, so what you're saying is that not many things have...

1:31:22 Adam No, they don't. No. Listen.

1:31:25 Shmuley Boteach So enjoy the sun while it lasts.

1:31:28 Adam I was telling somebody, I was talking to today, I did a couple of man shows today and they were like, how'd it go? And I was like, I was fine, I just want to get the hell out of there. And I told them, listen, the only time I really know I'm alive is when I'm napping. Alright, we'll take a break.

1:31:46 Hello, this is your radio. Loveline will be right back.

1:31:55 Adam Well, there you go. Another provocative two hours in the can, as they say. Rabbi Shmuley, I really, the show, two hours is not enough to contain your wisdom.

1:32:07 Shmuley Boteach I feel humbled.

1:32:08 Drew So come back, come back.

1:32:09 Shmuley Boteach Thank you very much. I'm not going.

1:32:11 Drew Oh, good. He'll be sleeping right here.

1:32:13 Adam You stay here. I think Likus goes on the air about seven.

1:32:16 Shmuley Boteach Okay. Well, I'm a night owl.

1:32:20 Drew Next time, bring some sort of ceremony that we can do for Adam. Candles, circumcision, get a moil in here. You need a little work.

1:32:30 Adam Why Can't I Fall in Love is the name of the book. It is chock full of the rabbi's wisdoms. Go out and get it.

1:32:39 Shmuley Boteach You guys do a great service and I love being on the show.

1:32:41 Adam Thank you.

1:32:41 Shmuley Boteach God bless you both.

1:32:42 Adam You're welcome at any time.

1:32:43 Shmuley Boteach God, you don't believe in Adam. May he bless you.

1:32:45 Adam I appreciate that. Until next time, it's Adam Corolla for Dr. Drew saying mahalo.

1:32:54 This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on the show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, and sponsors for this station. The producer for Loveline is Ann Wilkins Engel. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, June 5, 2001