Episode 1000742427099

0:20 Drew That's right, it starts the beginning of a very sad show tonight. This is the last show of the Weak-O-Dag.

0:27 David Alan Grier It is, you know, I'm a doctor.

0:28 Drew I'm devastated, I'm sad, I'm depressed. I don't know what to do about it.

0:31 David Alan Grier Well, I'll be back. Never say goodbye forever. I will be back. I always return to Loveline. I want to be the oldest guest in the history. I want to do it when I'm like 80.

0:42 Drew You mean actually the most aged? Not just the longest.

0:45 David Alan Grier Maybe you should try more oral sex. I know I loved that when I was here at Heat.

0:52 David Alan Grier Oh yeah.

0:54 David Alan Grier I'm going to do that, man.

0:55 Drew You're going to be like the little man on the Family Guy.

0:57 Right.

0:58 David Alan Grier I'll tell you what I like. You know what I want to do? I want to declare this, Dr. Drew, as my last night. The night of healing. I ask America for your sickest, your most insane, sexually bankrupt.

1:15 Drew Sexually and spiritually bankrupt.

1:16 David Alan Grier Well, yeah, I like the sex, though. Call us with your problems, one-legged dwarves. We had one hermaphrodite last night.

1:25 Drew Pseudo-hermaphrodite.

1:25 David Alan Grier Yes, we had a slight retard being preyed upon by a lawyer to be.

1:30 Drew Yes.

1:31 David Alan Grier What a wonderful week.

1:32 Drew It was good. And uplifting. Chelsea was wonderful, delightful. And then there was Sarah, your love.

1:40 David Alan Grier My love. She never called back.

1:41 Drew Well, you lost her.

1:42 David Alan Grier Much like the girl I dated. Yeah, much like the girl I dated in San Francisco. That could have been her because we had that conversation several times.

1:49 Drew She seemed to have a special affinity for you.

1:52 David Alan Grier She did. They always do it first. And in the beginning and the end. It's the middle one.

1:58 Drew I saw the love.

1:59 I saw it.

2:00 David Alan Grier So Dr. Drew, shall we get started?

2:02 Drew Here we go. This one calls 1-800-LOVE-191. Here's Kayleen, 15. Kayleen?

2:07 Caller Hi.

2:08 Drew Hey, what's up?

2:08 David Alan Grier Hi, Kayleen.

2:10 Caller Yeah, I have a question about my mom. I found a few used condoms around the house. And my dad has had a bisectomy for 10 years.

2:21 David Alan Grier Whoa. Can you explain to me what is a bisectomy, doctor?

2:24 Drew It's the same thing as a vasectomy, I believe.

2:26 Caller Oh, okay.

2:27 Drew The vas deferens get turned off.

2:29 David Alan Grier No, the vas deferens. Where are the vas deferens?

2:32 Drew They're near the vas deferens.

2:33 Caller All right, then.

2:34 David Alan Grier You go to the vas deferens and turn left. Right? Yeah. Okay, so what's your question, Kayleen?

2:41 Caller Yeah, I have a question. It's like, should I suspect my mom doing something?

2:48 David Alan Grier Hmm, what do you think?

2:49 Drew I suspect I need to invoke the international law of vogosity. That's what I suspect.

2:54 David Alan Grier Really?

2:54 Drew Yeah.

2:55 David Alan Grier You think so?

2:55 Drew Yeah.

2:56 David Alan Grier I'm going to say no.

2:57 Drew No question.

2:57 David Alan Grier Not on DAGS last night.

3:00 Drew Just so you know, there's no question here. I found you-

3:02 David Alan Grier There is.

3:03 David Alan Grier She said what should she do.

3:04 Drew No, she said, should I suspect something?

3:07 David Alan Grier All right, plow ahead.

3:08 Drew My dad's had a vasectomy. I found condoms. What do you mean by used condoms, by the way?

3:13 Caller Like they were like used condoms.

3:15 Drew What does that mean? What do you mean used? How do you know they were used?

3:18 Caller Because there were semen in them, you dorks. God.

3:21 Drew Semen. Thank you. Oh, semen. How long have they been sitting there?

3:25 Caller I don't know.

3:26 David Alan Grier All right, well we'll ask you-

3:27 Drew Semen evaporates about two hours.

3:28 David Alan Grier Yeah, but they get all clammy. If they're out of the- I believe this young woman.

3:34 David Alan Grier She is truthful. How dare you doubt my callers?

3:38 Drew Okay, go ahead.

3:39 David Alan Grier Okay, so why- now why-

3:40 David Alan Grier but let's explore this.

3:41 Drew I'll stay with you, but you help her, okay.

3:43 David Alan Grier All right, so why would someone use condoms if they've had a vasectomy?

3:48 Drew They wouldn't. Why would somebody suspect trouble when somebody's used-

3:52 Caller My kids don't even sleep together anymore. They sleep in separate beds.

3:56 David Alan Grier All right, where did you find the used condoms?

3:58 Caller It was in a tin can.

4:00 David Alan Grier In a tin can?

4:01 Caller Yeah, it was rolled up in a plastic bag. It was in like a little tin can up on the shelf.

4:07 David Alan Grier Used up on the shelf in like a bedroom closet or something?

4:11 Caller Bedroom.

4:13 David Alan Grier Bedroom in a tin can. Like so out of their condom wrapper thing, were they unrolled?

4:20 Caller Yeah.

4:21 David Alan Grier Okay. All right. She knows what she's talking about. Do you have any other women in the house?

4:25 Drew Stored in a tin can for extended periods of time.

4:28 David Alan Grier Well, in a moment of passion-

4:29 Drew Liquid semen still in it.

4:31 David Alan Grier In a moment of passion, used condoms have wound up at all sorts of places in my house.

4:35 Drew But not with the semen in it.

4:37 David Alan Grier Yeah, they have. That's what the used condom is.

4:40 Drew That's-

4:40 David Alan Grier You can't clean every place. Maybe she hit them and forgot about them.

4:43 Drew The semen dries up.

4:44 Caller I don't know.

4:45 David Alan Grier The semen dries up, you know? I mean- Do you have any brothers and sisters?

4:48 Caller No, only child.

4:50 David Alan Grier Only child. Was your house- Did anybody house sit?

4:54 Caller What?

4:55 David Alan Grier Did anybody house sit?

4:56 Drew You know, you have friends.

4:57 David Alan Grier Nobody came over and just crashed out.

5:00 Caller Well, my mom's home during the day a lot.

5:03 David Alan Grier Okay. Do you- Before you found these condoms, did you think she was maybe screwing around with someone else or your mom and dad, are they on good terms right now or what?

5:11 Drew They don't sleep together.

5:12 Caller Well, they argue a lot, but I didn't suspect anything.

5:17 David Alan Grier I say go ask her. Is she home now?

5:19 Caller What?

5:20 David Alan Grier Is she home now?

5:21 Caller No.

5:22 David Alan Grier Dog gone it. Well, I say go ask her. You're 15, it's none of your business. They might not even be hers, but I say Christmas time, join my hell, wait till Christmas day and ask your mother. It will be fabulous. Call us back and let us know what happens.

5:38 David Alan Grier Next caller!

5:39 Drew And now, but I invoke the International Law of Bogus.

5:41 David Alan Grier All right, all right, yeah, but to ask her, go ahead, do your bogus check.

5:44 Drew Okay, then tell me.

5:45 What?

5:46 Drew Bogus?

5:47 No.

5:48 David Alan Grier See?

5:48 Drew No. You know, if it is bogus and you're saying no, you violated the international convention of this.

5:54 David Alan Grier Why would you make a bogus call than not admit to it being bogus, than you don't have that joy of saying, gotcha. See? She doesn't lie. This young woman is in turmoil, Dr. Drew.

6:05 Drew So you...

6:05 David Alan Grier I'm glad I'm not your patient.

6:07 Drew Then let's just flip around.

6:08 David Alan Grier You're no junkie. Those tracks are fake. You're not nodding out.

6:13 David Alan Grier This young woman...

6:14 Drew Just so you know, my patients, every single patient, lies to me.

6:17 David Alan Grier Really?

6:18 Drew Every single one.

6:19 David Alan Grier I love you.

6:20 Drew And so, here's the deal, Kayleen. If this is true, those condoms must be about a day old. So, something just happened.

6:27 David Alan Grier Kayleen, is your dad home?

6:30 David Alan Grier Right now?

6:31 David Alan Grier Yes. Go ask him right now.

6:33 David Alan Grier We'll wait. Go ask him right now, honey. What?

6:38 Caller I'm not at home right now.

6:39 David Alan Grier Oh, man. Come on.

6:40 Caller Where are you?

6:42 Caller I'm at my friend's house.

6:43 David Alan Grier All right. How far away from home are you?

6:45 Caller About a block.

6:46 David Alan Grier Go home and ask your dad. Call us back.

6:48 Caller We'll wait.

6:49 Drew No, we'll keep her on home.

6:50 David Alan Grier All right.

6:50 David Alan Grier Go, go, go. Homework. Next caller. This is true.

6:55 Drew That was no way.

6:57 David Alan Grier How do you?

6:57 David Alan Grier No way.

6:58 Drew No question.

6:58 David Alan Grier How do you hung up?

6:59 Drew I put her on hold and she hung up.

7:00 David Alan Grier No, she's not. She's not focused.

7:03 Drew No question that you should call her. Here was her question. Just David, just, you know, should I suspect a problem? But does that affect me?

7:10 David Alan Grier Yeah, no, that's that. Oh, oh, now Anderson, you're ganging up on me. I can tell liars better than Drew. Oh, my God.

7:16 All right.

7:16 David Alan Grier Kids, I know.

7:17 Drew Steven, 21, what's up?

7:19 Caller Hey, man. My question is, well, the thing is I, I like to finger myself in the butt and I find it actually real, really good. Is that weird?

7:29 Liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.

7:32 Caller No, that's what I got. I'm telling the truth.

7:34 David Alan Grier Is that good? I guess it's good. It's your finger, it's your butt. I mean, you're basically butt raping yourself, so.

7:41 Drew There are a tiny percentage of guys that are into this and those guys ruin it for everybody because the women become preoccupied with, well, really? How interesting.

7:51 David Alan Grier Wait a minute. There's no woman in the room when you're doing this, right?

7:54 Caller No, actually, I've asked my girlfriend to do it for me a couple of times and she has.

7:59 David Alan Grier Okay, well.

8:00 Drew That's what I'm saying. Now the woman's going to each guy going, well, my last boyfriend, he loved this. He thought it was the greatest thing. All right. Well, there are a few guys.

8:07 David Alan Grier Yeah, but isn't that, to me, that's a lover's rule. You should never come in the bedroom and try some stuff you tried on an ex-girlfriend on the new girl because they all, it's almost like they know. Whatever you do to the new chick, you got to make it like it just fell out of your ass. You know, like I just, I don't know.

8:25 David Alan Grier I just want to.

8:25 Drew It's sort of like a stand up comedy act, right? You got to make it seem like it's the first time you're telling the story.

8:30 David Alan Grier Yes.

8:31 David Alan Grier You can't go, my old chick loved when I would knuckle her butt.

8:35 Caller I swear to you. My question is, I mean, like, cause I was victimized from the ages of five to 15 by my brother, could that be something that could have, could that have What did he do?

8:44 Drew What did he do to you?

8:45 Caller He annually raped me, made me perform oral sex on him.

8:49 Drew Really? Yeah. Honestly?

8:52 Caller Honestly, dude.

8:52 Drew I mean, I've Cause you don't, you don't strike me as that guy. But that's, that's okay. Are you an addict, recovery or anything like that?

8:59 Caller I actually know I'm not an addict. I do use, I do smoke pot on occasion. I'm not an alcoholic, but I've gone through like tons of counseling for it.

9:07 Drew Okay. Okay. Okay.

9:08 David Alan Grier Did you ever tell, did you tell your parents or anything?

9:10 Caller Actually, I told my mom when I was 13 years old and I just told my dad last December.

9:15 David Alan Grier Now what happened to your brother?

9:18 Caller He's married and has four kids.

9:20 David Alan Grier Oh my God.

9:21 Drew Somebody's got to keep an eye on that.

9:23 Caller Yeah, actually I do.

9:25 Drew All right. But the reason, the reason I guess you don't strike me as that guy is you're not that guy. You've had a bunch of treatments. You've kind of worked it through. You're like, like Tom Arnold has a horrible situation like that and he doesn't strike me as that guy anymore.

9:35 David Alan Grier He confronted his child rapist.

9:38 Drew Quite a story.

9:38 David Alan Grier Which is bad enough. You know, you're a pervert, right? You're a child molester and you molest Tom Arnold. What could, what are the odds? I know that guy still stand in his yard, go, why little Tommy out of all the other horny little kids?

9:55 Caller I gotta say, man, you're great. I've been listening, like I listen to you every single time you're on the show. You're one of the only dudes alive, man.

10:01 David Alan Grier Well, thanks a lot. You sound pretty healthy.

10:03 Drew Yeah, Stephen, the deal is though, you've integrated things, you've got a healthy sexual identity, you can have relationships. But yes, you will tend to need more arousal, different kinds of arousal than the average person having been stimulated that way. Think of it as those pathways got stimulated, overstimulated at a young age and they call upon you again.

10:21 David Alan Grier But I think that what prompted the call is his history, don't you think? Because after all that being done to you, he's pretty healthy and he knuckles himself in the butt.

10:32 Drew I think he just wants to know if it's okay to indulge that kind of thing after all he's been through.

10:36 David Alan Grier Just the strap ons, you might want to avoid that.

10:37 Drew Well, yeah, don't go down the path too deeply, so to speak.

10:40 David Alan Grier Right, because it is a stinky, stinky, stinky system.

10:43 David Alan Grier Whoa, yeah.

10:44 Drew Winston, 21.

10:45 Caller Oh, dude, Dr. Drew.

10:47 Drew Winston, what's up, buddy?

10:48 Caller Dag, boys, I've been talking to you.

10:50 David Alan Grier What's up?

10:51 Caller Oh my God, this is like, I feel like I'm talking to Jesus or something.

10:54 David Alan Grier Liar, liar whore, liar whore, you know it.

10:58 Caller Anderson, I do have a question, though. I do have a question.

11:00 Drew Oh, go ahead.

11:00 Caller I was talking to my parents the other day about abortion. It's a whole big thing on in Canada right now.

11:05 I don't know if it's specific.

11:06 Caller But there was a, I wanted to know what your stance was because I've heard you tell people not to do it before, but I was just curious, like.

11:13 Drew I am fundamentally against abortion.

11:15 Caller You are, sorry?

11:16 Drew I'm philosophically against it. I'm in favor of the law of the land and I would never dissuade somebody or judge somebody for following the law. And certainly it's convenient for people and it helps protect people from lots of pain and suffering. But philosophically, I'm against it. And so for me, if there are things we can do to help diminish abortion or eliminate abortion, we should be doing them aggressively.

11:36 David Alan Grier So if your daughter comes to you in a year and says she's pregnant. Oh, now it's no.

11:41 Drew Now that I'm a weak person, we're going to go take care of them.

11:44 David Alan Grier Oh, yeah, right. Exactly. Most of you guys are that way in your own backyard is you're all for it.

11:48 Drew And not not only that poor black woman. No, no.

11:51 David Alan Grier Have the ninth kid.

11:52 Drew No, I'm not saying that. No.

11:53 David Alan Grier You're a racist, Dr. Drew.

11:54 Drew No, I'm not saying that at all. But but you know, I'm not really. I have thought it through and philosophically, it's hard to defend abortion. Just saying that.

12:02 David Alan Grier It's very not for me. I'm pro-choice all the way. So I say up to the age of two, really, is where I'm at.

12:07 Drew But but the there are so many things we could be doing to reduce abortion that we are not. And the problem is people that are against abortion get confused about abortion versus young people having sex. They start to come out against young people having sex as the really ultimate goal and that that can't be the goal. You got to eliminate abortion and that means use the morning after pill. That means proper contraceptive.

12:29 David Alan Grier But a lot of people who are against abortion they think the morning after pill is a quote abortion pill which it's not.

12:35 Drew It isn't. All they have to do is go read the science but they don't care about science and this is where I can fix them.

12:39 David Alan Grier Well they don't think science is science because it's creative design.

12:42 Drew Whatever.

12:43 David Alan Grier But it was defeated. God bless America.

12:45 Caller Well thank you so much guys.

12:48 David Alan Grier All right man.

12:48 Drew Take care.

12:48 Caller Have a great night.

12:49 Caller Thank you.

12:50 Drew Have a good Christmas.

12:50 Caller You too.

12:55 Caller Next caller.

12:56 Drew Jasmine, 21.

12:58 David Alan Grier Yes.

12:59 Drew Here you go buddy. Kiddo. Young lady.

13:03 David Alan Grier When I give my fiance has been whatever oral sex, I always picture the little spermy dudes swimming around in my stomach and it makes me throw up.

13:13 David Alan Grier Get over that. Next caller.

13:17 Drew But do you imagine like goldfish? I mean, what do you?

13:20 David Alan Grier Yeah, actually.

13:21 Drew You're talking about, Jasmine, hundreds of millions of cells that are single cells. You couldn't see without.

13:30 David Alan Grier What is wrong with America? It seems like the vast majority of women do not enjoy the act of giving oral sex.

13:38 Drew That's the swallowing part of the podcast.

13:38 David Alan Grier Well, that's a part of it.

13:40 Drew Dude, would you? Listen, if you had the.

13:42 David Alan Grier I'm telling you, I'm telling you, if you go down, if you go down on a woman, you're swallowing a lot of their junk.

13:48 Drew I'm just saying, if you had to pick a part of the male giving sex on a man not alive, what part would it be?

13:52 David Alan Grier Do me a favor. Next New Year's Eve, when you have sex with your wife again, go down on her and right when she has an orgasm, hawk a loogie and go, and see how she reacts.

14:05 Drew One of the most brilliant things Adam ever said was, he goes, after all, how bad is it for him? Is it sucking on a churro or burying her face in an abalone?

14:13 David Alan Grier But he doesn't enjoy giving oral sex from the way he talked.

14:19 Drew I'm just saying, burying your face in an abalone or having put a churro in your mouth?

14:22 David Alan Grier Let me tell you something, I would lose my jib in a cooter any day. Any day. Jib? My jib, my map, my face, of course. I love receiving and giving oral sex. That's a part of being good in bed, but you have to go about your work with enthusiasm.

14:38 Drew If you're thinking about- You said three different things. Now, first of all, I totally agree with you on the enthusiasm thing. Women are always looking for ways to make men happy in bed. That's basically all they have to do, is be enthusiastic.

14:47 David Alan Grier But that should make you happy. Don't you get joy in giving your partner joy and satisfaction? That's a part of being- No, I'm asking you. That's a part to me of being a good lover. Most women think that to let a man, to let a man sleep with them, that is it, and that ain't it.

15:07 Drew You're more evolved than the average person. Of course I am. So for a lot of people, the whole idea of being close to somebody and intimacy and sexuality is tied up with all kinds of other crap.

15:18 David Alan Grier Well, I don't know what this is tied up with, but my advice to you is don't think about the little fishies, and if you do, act like it's wonderful, and then excuse yourself and go in another room.

15:28 Drew There aren't any fishies.

15:30 David Alan Grier Well, I just picture them.

15:32 Caller It's like I know that, and I've tried not to think about it, but I can't help it. And then I feel bad because I'm running out of the bedroom throwing up.

15:42 David Alan Grier Yeah, yeah. Here's the funny part, though. Does your boyfriend or fiance or husband, brother, cousin, I don't know who it is, does he ever stop trying to get you to go down on him?

15:54 David Alan Grier No!

15:55 He doesn't care.

15:57 Drew Honey, when you finish that, will you come back?

15:59 David Alan Grier Yeah, you get my sack. You forgot my sack.

16:02 David Alan Grier I love you.

16:03 David Alan Grier No, we never stop.

16:04 Drew Come back after you vomit.

16:05 David Alan Grier Come back.

16:06 David Alan Grier You're not doing it right. Yeah, drink buttermilk. We never stop. We never stop, do we? That's beautiful.

16:13 Drew They're lovely. This is David. 16.

16:18 Caller Am I on?

16:18 Drew Yeah, you're on.

16:21 Caller I have a question of long-distance relationships.

16:25 Caller What about them?

16:26 Caller I was in Michigan for about three years, and like me and this girl kind of start talking to everything, and we kind of fell for each other. Then just about like...

16:37 Drew Virgin.

16:43 David Alan Grier Is he right? Are you a virgin?

16:45 Caller No. Oh, boy. It was like the going away kind of sex.

16:49 David Alan Grier I hear you. Now, what's your question? So you're saying what?

16:52 Caller My question is like, should I still keep in touch with this girl or what?

16:56 Drew First, David, did you actually have intercourse with this young lady?

16:59 Caller Yeah.

17:00 Drew No.

17:01 Caller I shouldn't.

17:02 Drew No, did you?

17:03 Caller Oh, did I? Yeah, I did.

17:05 David Alan Grier But you said just one time?

17:09 Caller It was twice.

17:10 David Alan Grier Okay. No. It was like one and a half. So wait a minute, you're saying should you keep in touch with her? Yeah, you keep in touch with her if you want. But if you're asking, should you expect her to be faithful to you? No, she's riding a pole right now, my friend.

17:21 Drew Well, not only that, but at 16 to 20, long distance relationships, people cling to them and they can sort of be clung to, but you will be so tied up, such an important part of your emotional life is tied up somewhere else, you're unavailable to sort of meet the needs of the present and to figure out who you are and the date.

17:38 David Alan Grier He's going to do it.

17:39 Drew I know you can do whatever you're going to do.

17:40 David Alan Grier And then he'll live and learn from this experience.

17:42 Drew So the question is, do they work out? Almost never.

17:45 David Alan Grier No, they don't work out when you're grown and you have means and go back and forth. I barely could see a girl in San Francisco 20 minutes away on a plane.

17:53 Drew They don't work out at 16 when you're neighbors.

17:55 David Alan Grier Oh, yeah.

17:55 Drew You know what I'm saying?

17:56 David Alan Grier Yeah, that's true.

17:57 Drew OK, so that's true. And as I agree, and as adults at a distance with means, after three months, she was like, I can't take this. Yeah, I said, I was kind of your girls in New York now.

18:07 David Alan Grier She is. She's here. She's in North Northern California. Well, that's that's now it's fine. I'm fine with it. You know, it's like every every time I see her, it's honey mode. Nice.

18:18 Drew Mo, 21, we live together.

18:21 Caller What? A couple of questions. I'm 21 and I feel like I'm getting like too old.

18:27 Drew For what?

18:28 Caller I just feel like I'm an old man. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I mean, I'm starting school here in a few weeks and I just feel like I'm old for some reason, like I'm too old to like to like play music or I don't know what's going on.

18:44 David Alan Grier When? Okay, give me give me an example. What what is a situation where you really feel like an old man when you're doing what?

18:51 Caller Like when I'm like walking around the mall and I just feel like I'm too old to be hanging out.

18:58 Drew Are you from North Dakota or something? Where are you from?

19:00 Caller I'm from Aberdeen, Washington.

19:03 David Alan Grier Same thing.

19:03 Drew Where the I don't know where that come from.

19:05 Caller I know Kurt Cobain and Nirvana.

19:07 David Alan Grier Yes, I've heard of them.

19:08 Yeah, they're hometown.

19:10 David Alan Grier All right. Well, I don't know what to tell you, dude. I mean, I don't know who you're hanging out with. I mean, is there is, do you have an image of yourself? Like what you should be doing? What you want to be doing?

19:22 Caller Well, I got a pretty good image going on. I mean, I'm really into the fifties and I wear like, you know, tight black shirts and like Levi's like every single day and people think that's totally cool, you know, but I just feel like I'm not approachable to like women because I'm getting too old, but.

19:39 David Alan Grier All right, you need a new look, you need a new look.

19:42 Drew Now that, hey, grow up, Mo, you're going to college, you're going to be around a lot of people. Just, you're an adult, you're 21 for God's sake, you're not 14, stop, cut it out.

19:50 David Alan Grier That's why he feels too old.

19:51 Drew Hey, hey, he's not 14, he wants to be 14, he's not.

19:54 David Alan Grier I know, what are you yelling at me for? I'm on your side.

19:56 Drew I'm mad at him. Frank, 15.

19:59 Caller Yes, I'm on?

20:00 Drew Yes.

20:00 Caller Oh my God, I've listened to you guys for like ever. Alright, I'm always attracted to druggy women and about three months ago, one of them got me hooked on Vicodin.

20:14 Drew Beautiful.

20:15 David Alan Grier She got you hooked on Vicodin?

20:17 Caller Yes, got me hooked on Vicodin.

20:18 David Alan Grier Now, how did that go down? You didn't take these 14 Vics or I'm not going to let you see my boobies.

20:25 David Alan Grier Take them now.

20:28 David Alan Grier How did she do it, dude?

20:29 Caller I had a tooth knocked out and after I had a couple of those, I was off for about a week and then she gave me some more and I've just been taking them and taking them. And it's gotten to the point where about four of them won't do anything.

20:43 Drew Alright, what's your question?

20:46 Caller Why would I be attracted to druggy women and how can I get off Vicodin?

20:52 Drew Fortunately, at 15, it's usually easier at 15 to stop Vicodin than even 20 or certainly later than that. Adolescents can get off opiates without much of withdrawal syndrome sometimes. So the stopping part is actually not as hard at your age as it will be later. The problem is the staying stop still needs to be treated aggressively and that's usually with a 12 step process. Now, while you're attracted to junky chicks, where you abuse or something, you abandon it, I get abandonment from you.

21:20 No, no, I'm in a family of four.

21:24 Caller And nothing going on when you're together upstairs.

21:27 David Alan Grier Yeah, but listen, I read an article that said younger people now, they pass and share prescriptions for antidepressants, painkillers, so they don't really see the danger. I don't, in his description of this, I don't hear some girl getting him hooked on Vicodin.

21:47 Drew No, he doesn't, he's an addict.

21:48 David Alan Grier If he wouldn't have given it to him, somebody else would have. You've got you hooked on Vicodin.

21:52 Drew Right, he's an addict. That needs to be treated. Why he's attracted to sort of alternative folks, people that are strung out themselves. 15 year olds do not have a lot of insight into these things.

22:03 David Alan Grier But hold on, also at that age, the concept of your boyfriend or girlfriend being a quote junkie, if you see them, you have a toothache, you took three or four Vicodin, you don't look like a junkie, you're fine, maybe she just doesn't grasp how deep and how far into his addiction he is. He can't blame it on her.

22:25 Drew No, that's not it. Here's the deal. I look at this as he's addicted, that needs to be treated, period. He's addicted. Then why he's attracted to the junkies and whatnot, that's sort of irrelevant.

22:35 David Alan Grier I tell you what, they're fun in bed.

22:38 David Alan Grier The kooks are crazy.

22:39 Drew And there may be something else that you don't have insight about that we could sort of pull out in the process of recovery. So, but anyway, David Alan Grier is that other voice you hear.

22:46 David Alan Grier Own your losership.

22:48 Drew I am Dr. Drew. I'm going to own my losership. And that's pretty easy because there's just tons of it.

22:52 David Alan Grier A healathon, Dr. Drew.

22:54 David Alan Grier We're in the middle of a healathon.

22:55 Drew Healathon tonight. See?

22:59 David Alan Grier See? You messed up. 1-900-105-L-Live-A-Live.

23:03 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191 with Daguerroni. It is last night. It's a night I'm very depressed about. My time is tied because of it.

23:15 David Alan Grier It's the last night. I'm gonna say goodbye to the kooks and the freaks and the knuckleheads. No more healing, not for Daguerroni.

23:38 Yeah!

23:40 Caller Excuse me.

23:41 Caller Loveline's coming back in a minute.

23:42 Caller Yo, don't go nowhere. Call Loveline.

23:47 1-800-LOVE-191.

23:50 Caller That's 1-800-

23:54 Drew Loveline, Weko Dagg, 1-800-LOVE-191. We were just heard a nice serenade by Dagg.

24:01 David Alan Grier Can I ask you a question? I asked you on stage, I asked Dr. Drew, I said, you ever bone in your clients, your patients? You ever just pop one in there?

24:09 Drew No.

24:09 David Alan Grier This part of the healing girl, hey, now, it's just going to take a minute.

24:12 David Alan Grier Don't look at me. Oh, yes, okay, yes. Oh, you're an addict, you're an, oh, boy.

24:24 David Alan Grier All right, I'll see you next week.

24:26 Caller Give me a beer.

24:28 David Alan Grier You never did that?

24:29 Drew Oh, no, can't say. This is Joni, who's 21.

24:33 David Alan Grier Yes.

24:34 Drew Hey, Joni, what's up?

24:36 David Alan Grier That was fast.

24:39 David Alan Grier Okay, well, this question is about my boyfriend and I. I willingly and love to give him oral and, you know, do it sometimes me even asking him if I can just go down on him and I'm having a really hard time getting him to do it to me.

24:58 David Alan Grier Well, stop doing it to him. First of all.

25:00 Drew There you go. That will take care of it.

25:01 David Alan Grier Stop doing it to him. As a matter of fact, you should beg him to let you go down on him. And right when you get there, go, no, I can't.

25:09 Drew Me first.

25:10 David Alan Grier Yeah, me first. You got to tighten my mom up. Now, what's his excuse? He has dentures.

25:15 David Alan Grier He doesn't really have an excuse. I mean, like, I mean, there's been conversations about it. And I mean, sometimes even with me kind of crying because it sucks and crying.

25:25 Drew What an ass.

25:25 David Alan Grier Well, not like, you know, hysterically crying.

25:27 Drew He is an ass.

25:28 David Alan Grier Wait a minute. Why is he an ass? When these girls call up and they go, I don't like oral sex. What do you say? You don't have to do it, honey. I know you do, but Dr. Drew is flipping sides.

25:38 Drew No, I don't say they don't have to swallow. That's what I say.

25:41 David Alan Grier Yeah, but I mean, now, now, now, wait a minute, you're crying and what is he doesn't give you an excuse.

25:46 David Alan Grier It's not really like crying, but, you know, a little teal tears will form just because it's almost kind of hurting. Like, you know, why wouldn't you want to share that with me when, you know, I share it with you? It's, you know, why don't you want to have sex as much as I want to please you?

26:01 Drew Do you have sex otherwise?

26:03 David Alan Grier Yeah, we do.

26:05 Drew And do you have orgasms that way?

26:06 David Alan Grier Yes.

26:07 Drew Okay, so at least there's that. But, you know, the deal is, in a relationship, there often is somebody who doesn't care. It's about pleasing the other person as much.

26:16 David Alan Grier Well, there's that, but then there's also an issue of power, because again, I dated a really hot chick. Previous relationship, she said her boyfriend stopped sleeping with her, like once a year or something, he would sleep with her. Now that, to me, represents a passive aggressive.

26:33 David Alan Grier Sickness. Right!

26:34 David Alan Grier It's a dude who does, he's trying to exert some kind of control.

26:37 David Alan Grier Is this a deal breaker for you?

26:39 David Alan Grier No, it's not. I mean, but I would-

26:41 David Alan Grier You better make it a deal breaker.

26:42 David Alan Grier I would go on the whole kind of control thing a little bit, because I kind of, it's like a control freak.

26:47 Drew But he doesn't like it. He doesn't like doing that.

26:50 David Alan Grier Yeah, but once she says she loves it, now he doesn't like it more. Don't give him any more head until he tightens you up.

26:57 Drew But he not only does he not like it, but he's the kind of guy that really doesn't care. He likes being light. He likes his attention to him. And she does that. Therefore, she's cool because of that. But what do you mean? For you? Well, but you like me. It's about me.

27:11 David Alan Grier Well, you better stop. You better stop getting on that knob, honey.

27:15 David Alan Grier Okay. Is that that's the only thing just to just stop and say, no, me first or?

27:20 David Alan Grier Yeah, I mean, if I were him. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Because you're saying it's not a deal breaker. So you really don't have any negotiation point. If he's coming from a place where he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't care. At least if you said you couldn't have an orga. You got to make up a lie. Chicks lie all the time. You got to stop. If you have an orgasm, tell him you don't have an orgasm anymore. Tell him how your other boyfriend, the guy you just dated before him was hung like trigger and chowed down until you had a corn on your twat.

27:47 David Alan Grier Make up a lie. You're a woman.

27:49 David Alan Grier Come on.

27:50 Drew Anderson, is that one of the words you can or cannot say on radio?

27:53 David Alan Grier Twat, corn, it's all fun.

27:54 Drew Okay.

27:55 David Alan Grier Those are bands.

27:56 David Alan Grier Just check it.

27:56 David Alan Grier Don't say any more though, because I got to cut myself now. Really?

28:00 Drew You can't say that word.

28:01 David Alan Grier Can't say what?

28:02 Drew The T word. Oh, okay. Because there's certain words you can't say on TV.

28:06 David Alan Grier That's one of them?

28:07 Drew S, P, C, F, M, F, R.

28:10 David Alan Grier How about nipple? Can you say nipple?

28:11 Drew Yeah.

28:13 David Alan Grier Nips. Well, anyway, that's what I say. Come on, girls, start lying. You kids are great at that.

28:18 Drew Lisa, what's up?

28:18 Caller 24.

28:22 Drew Yes, you are.

28:24 David Alan Grier I'm calling because I would like to get an expert's advice about whether, how can you draw the line between really liking sex and being addicted to sex?

28:36 Drew The addiction is really defined by the consequences. If you are doing things that put yourself in harm's way, ruin relationships, spend lots of money, cause health problems, legal issues, those are the sorts of spheres that if something is going on as a result of these behaviors, you know there's a problem. If you haven't asked that question, it's just like saying, do I have a heroin problem? You think?

28:59 David Alan Grier Not necessarily.

29:01 David Alan Grier So what's your situation?

29:04 David Alan Grier With women and culture, there's a different, I know that a little bit, but men are encouraged.

29:10 David Alan Grier Hold on, hold on, hold on, wait a minute. What is your personal situation?

29:14 David Alan Grier What are you doing?

29:15 Drew The man is not his all.

29:17 David Alan Grier Tell us, what about your behavior are you questioning? What do you do?

29:21 David Alan Grier I'm concerned that I'm getting as much sex as possible rather than finding one man and I'm not one anymore, I'm not 18 anymore.

29:30 David Alan Grier Okay, hold on.

29:31 David Alan Grier How many guys? Be specific. How many guys?

29:35 Drew It doesn't matter.

29:35 David Alan Grier Why?

29:37 Drew That actually doesn't define sexual addiction.

29:40 David Alan Grier I just don't have real good boundaries.

29:41 David Alan Grier Like if I go to a bar and meet a guy, I'll go home and enjoy it. And then I think later, you know, you should be looking for a relationship.

29:49 Drew Why if you enjoyed it and that's what you want to do? Why do you think anything else?

29:52 David Alan Grier That's what I'm asking.

29:53 Drew Believe me, guys, when they go home and do that, they don't think, oh, I shouldn't do that.

29:55 David Alan Grier No.

29:56 David Alan Grier And let me tell you something, guys, please tell your women friends, sleep with us immediately.

30:02 David Alan Grier We will respect you.

30:03 Drew Yes, they do.

30:04 David Alan Grier We feel lucky.

30:05 David Alan Grier We feel blessed.

30:06 Drew And Lisa, if you look at the sociologist, the sort of double standard you're referring to is actually perpetuated by other women. Men do not judge you for this behavior.

30:15 David Alan Grier Ask me, I dated porn stars.

30:17 David Alan Grier What do I say, Dr. Drew?

30:18 David Alan Grier She's a good girl.

30:19 Drew Yes, the women judge.

30:21 David Alan Grier Do your female friends rag on you? I mean, I want to know where you're getting.

30:25 David Alan Grier Why?

30:25 David Alan Grier You said you feel good about it, but you don't sound like you feel good about it.

30:28 David Alan Grier I don't. I like sex. I don't. I'm not saying I don't enjoy sex, but I do have a worry that you can like drinking. And if you do it every night, you start wondering, maybe I like it a little too much. But I understand that.

30:41 David Alan Grier OK, how about this? Give me your wildest week. How many partners or how many times have you coupled with the same guy?

30:48 Drew You just want to hear the five days.

30:50 David Alan Grier No, I'm trying to figure it out. And she does. OK.

30:55 David Alan Grier How many different guys have you slept with in one week?

30:58 David Alan Grier When I went to Club Med, I had sex with seven different guys in seven days.

31:02 David Alan Grier God bless you. God bless you.

31:04 David Alan Grier And it was great.

31:05 David Alan Grier But then I thought later on that was that aberrant behavior for you or is that just an average week?

31:10 David Alan Grier That was aberrant because all the guys were there to get laid. You know, like when you have to work and stuff, it's a little harder to get as much action as that.

31:18 Drew So let's talk about your childhood. Were you sexually abused growing up?

31:22 No.

31:23 Drew What happened?

31:24 David Alan Grier I have had some issues with my father, but they're not abuse that we had. He just ditched out when I was little.

31:32 Drew He abandoned you. And how old were you and why did he leave?

31:36 David Alan Grier He left to go have a better life. I never really did.

31:40 Drew By the way, that whole process, that procedure of dad leaving young daughter behind is devastating to women. The effects are long lasting. So I see that all the time. There's a big red flag there whether or not you're addicted or not. Significantly, this needs to be dealt with. Why did he leave? What was he like? Was he an alcoholic? Did he do anything? Was he aggressive or violent in the home?

32:06 David Alan Grier My parents were not in love and he left.

32:10 Drew How old were you?

32:12 David Alan Grier I was five.

32:13 Drew And what was...

32:15 David Alan Grier He kept himself until I was seven and then he disappeared completely.

32:18 David Alan Grier Wait a minute. The one thing I don't hear is that usually sexually compulsive people describe immediately after the act the feeling of emptiness, depression.

32:31 Drew They can, but not necessarily...

32:33 David Alan Grier I don't hear any of this.

32:33 David Alan Grier She said she likes it and it seems like this is coming from outside.

32:37 Drew Usually what happens, the more common situation is...

32:39 David Alan Grier You said more common.

32:42 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, you said more common.

32:43 David Alan Grier It's more common.

32:46 David Alan Grier You said more common.

32:49 Dr. Drew in the hizzy.

32:51 David Alan Grier Go ahead, man.

32:52 Drew Because I see this syndrome all the time. The women in late teens, early 20s, convince themselves. I hear the same damn ass over and over again. Why can men do this? Women can't. So I went ahead and I did it. You talk to them at 20th. They're like, oh my God, I'm so miserable. I didn't know what I was doing. I was sort of hypomanic and I felt empty. And I was trying to solve that problem with lots of sex. And I'm with guys.

33:10 David Alan Grier Is this how you feel?

33:12 David Alan Grier Well, no, I don't really know, though. I don't think I'm really introspecting.

33:16 Drew They are just, it is really a form of compulsive acting out.

33:19 David Alan Grier All right, let me ask one more question.

33:20 Drew They're trying to solve problems. They're a million miles away from emotionally.

33:23 David Alan Grier All right, now you're at Club Med. Have you ever done anything like that at work?

33:29 David Alan Grier I've had sex at work, you know, actually.

33:30 David Alan Grier But I mean, no, I mean, like say with co-workers and you got to work with the guy. Then you sleep with the other co-worker.

33:36 Drew And horrible boundaries and horrible boundaries by themselves.

33:38 David Alan Grier I don't have any boundaries.

33:40 Drew Right. That's it. That's a mental illness. That's a sign of real serious problems. So Lisa, we've identified at least two problems. And God knows maybe you're bipolar or something on top of that.

33:48 David Alan Grier So where do you live, honey, before you get help? Is she near Santa Cruz? How fast can you get to LA? Because I don't want you cured just yet.

33:57 David Alan Grier That's great.

33:57 Caller Thanks for talking about me.

34:00 David Alan Grier I mean, it's helpful because I don't, I didn't know if I need a counselor or not.

34:04 Drew Categorically, it's categorically. Okay. You really need to. And no one, and listen, you hear anybody here say something, you're doing something wrong. I don't care what you do. It's up to you. I hope you enjoy it. I hope you feel good about it. But the reality is you are in, you've got some very serious stuff going here and you got to take care of it because it's going to end up in misery.

34:21 David Alan Grier And doesn't it get worse? Doesn't it get better?

34:24 Drew It gets worse because they get more shame, they get more emptiness. They've tried more to fill it.

34:27 David Alan Grier Then they get crazier.

34:28 Drew Then they get crazier.

34:29 David Alan Grier That's when dad comes in.

34:32 Caller I would like to take you out now and do bad things.

34:37 Drew She's your kind of girl.

34:38 David Alan Grier She is, man.

34:39 Drew She's right up your alley.

34:40 David Alan Grier Yeah, but the one thing is this. Like if I like, you know, bug out and, you know, bone like a bunch of different chicks, if it's good, I want to hit it again. I don't want to go like seven different...

34:50 Drew You're upset. Well, but see, in your mind, you go, I'm going to lock her in.

34:53 David Alan Grier I'm going to change her. No, no. I'm just saying I'll hit her a few times. I mean, seven different dudes in seven days. Man, that's a lot. That's a lot, man. Club med, ew.

35:02 Drew She's in trouble. And by the way, women can do this whenever, wherever they want.

35:07 David Alan Grier What do you mean, women can do this?

35:08 Drew A guy wants to do that, he can't.

35:11 David Alan Grier He can, but he may be paying five out of seven times.

35:13 Drew That's what I'm saying.

35:14 David Alan Grier Okay.

35:15 Drew Caitlin, 17.

35:16 Caller Hi.

35:17 Drew Seven out of seven.

35:18 Caller Okay, I have a question on my birth control that I'm taking. I'm taking Cycleisa and at the same time, my doctor, he's giving me an acne medication called Doxycycline.

35:34 Caller Yeah.

35:36 Caller I've been having my period before.

35:40 I'm supposed to, I will never.

35:43 Drew Have you talked to the doctor prescribing the pills about the fact that you're on antibiotics for your acne? I've talked to my doctor who's prescribing the birth control pills.

35:54 Caller No.

35:55 Drew You need to do that because you're on exactly the medicine that characteristically interferes with the effect of birth control pills, that is to say a tetracycline. All antibiotics can but tetracycline really classically does.

36:07 David Alan Grier Well, let me ask you this. If she stays on her birth control and keeps taking her acne medicine, will she have acne on her cooter?

36:16 Drew No.

36:16 David Alan Grier Good. Good stuff. Good stuff. You're doing the right thing, honey.

36:19 Drew But, Caitlin, the pill may not be working. Are you sexually active now?

36:22 David Alan Grier Yeah.

36:23 Drew Dude, you got to take care of this, will you, please?

36:25 Caller Well, I was just wondering if, like, is the birth control not effective?

36:30 Drew What did I just finish saying three times?

36:33 David Alan Grier Got to talk to you, doctor.

36:34 Drew Let's try it again. It interferes with the effectiveness of the birth control pill. Got that?

36:38 Caller Got it.

36:40 Drew All antibiotics do, and tetracyclines especially do, or especially known to, and that's what you're on, is a tetracycline. Yeah. So, tell me, repeat back to me what the problem is.

36:51 Caller That I need to go and talk to the person who's giving me my birth control.

36:57 Drew Because?

36:58 Caller Because it's interfering.

36:59 Drew It's not gonna work. Pardon? Yes, it's interfering. The acne antibiotic is interfering with the birth control potentially.

37:08 David Alan Grier I think it's interfering with their thinking.

37:10 Drew Okay, okay. Okay, yes, good, okay. Robbie, 17.

37:15 Caller Hi, I lost my left index finger over the summer eating crabs, actually.

37:21 Drew Eating crabs?

37:23 Caller I got caught of flushing bacteria.

37:27 Drew Oh, yeah. Nice.

37:30 David Alan Grier Now wait a minute, you were eating crabs? How did that happen? Did you have a cut or something on your finger?

37:36 Drew You could crack it.

37:37 Caller I did not have a cut on the finger. I cut my finger on the crab.

37:41 David Alan Grier Really?

37:42 Caller I got bacteria. A week later, I'm into the doctor's office getting antibiotics for it. A week later, I'm in the hospital with a black finger and he amputated to save my hand.

37:56 David Alan Grier Now who else was eating crabs that day?

37:58 Caller My entire family, actually.

38:01 David Alan Grier Now why is it only he would, this would happen to him if everybody's eating crabs and their family members?

38:07 Drew Not everyone cut their hand. He cut himself and you just get the wrong bacteria in there. I mean, that's what an infection is. People have very strange ideas about it.

38:14 David Alan Grier Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the brakes, doc. I'm not a doctor, okay? No, I know, but I'm just saying. David, it happens all the time. Come on.

38:22 Drew People have frenzied about antibiotics. I was talking to somebody tonight. It was like, they were like, oh, you know, their body will fight it off, our immune system. No, no, before antibiotics, people died of infection pretty much every time.

38:33 David Alan Grier Bill Maher said, and Larry King, he never took an aspirin in his life. And he said, you get Alzheimer's by taking aspirin. And he said, he's not worried about the bird flu because he will not get it because he's homeopathic. I can't wait till bird flu comes to LA. As a matter of fact, bird flu come here now. He will drop on the air.

38:55 Drew So, Robbie, what's the question?

38:57 Caller I was wondering what sort of therapy there is for phantom pain because my finger feels like it's contracted the entire time, even though it's not there.

39:06 Drew There are many, many treatments for phantom pain. It really depends on what's going on there. There's nerve blocks, there's patches, there's oral pain modulating medication. There's a new medicine that's out called pregabalin that's available for neuropathic pain, which it sounds like this might be.

39:24 David Alan Grier Does it go away eventually or what?

39:26 Drew It could be chronic. It could be chronic.

39:28 David Alan Grier For years and years and years?

39:29 Drew Forever sometimes. Wow. People can feel like if they lose their limb or something, like it's still there and it hurts. Wow. And so, because pain is a brain experience. I mean, it's not something happening out in your limb.

39:38 David Alan Grier So the brain is still shooting where it thinks something is supposed to be.

39:41 Drew Right, exactly. So Robbie, go see some of their pain specialists all over the place. That's something that is a classic problem that they are well equipped to handle.

39:48 David Alan Grier Also, get a better story about how you lost your finger. You could get laid by this story, my friend. You're 17, tell him that you joined the army.

39:55 David Alan Grier There you go, Iraq.

39:57 David Alan Grier Or you fought off a mugger, a rapist or something and he bit your finger off. While in juvie, in juvie, you get bit your finger off.

40:05 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191. David Alan Grier is in here with us tonight. I'm Dr. Drew and we'll be right back. That's right, it's Love Lion. Tonight, well, I started the night sad, but I'm becoming increasingly elated as I discover absolutely the real David Alan Grier.

40:31 David Alan Grier The real Daggeroni, baby.

40:33 Drew Daggeroni's been loosening up. I think he must be high, drunk or something.

40:36 David Alan Grier I'm high on healing, my friend.

40:38 Drew It's finally up to the fifth day he's breaking it out. He is breaking it out.

40:42 Caller All my dysfunction, be as above.

40:46 David Alan Grier So is it sexual? Is a sexual addition if you like, you know, hang out watching butt naked porn and hitting them websites for about four or five hours a day?

40:54 David Alan Grier Hitting what?

40:55 David Alan Grier Hitting the websites, butt naked websites for about four or five hours a day.

40:58 David Alan Grier How do you work?

40:59 Drew Then it's a problem. Well, you know, if you have four or five hours to devote.

41:02 David Alan Grier There's always a computer.

41:03 Drew But if you have that time to devote to.

41:04 David Alan Grier No, you get up an hour early in the morning, you start your day there, lunch break, go home, go home early, you hit it right, well, hit it before dinner. And then just to say good night.

41:15 Drew That's about right. It's average mail, right?

41:17 David Alan Grier Is that okay?

41:18 Drew For a 12 year old.

41:19 David Alan Grier Of course you can't do it when your girlfriends are there cause then she'll find out.

41:22 Drew Okay, this is Mandy who's 20. Mandy.

41:24 David Alan Grier Mandy, I think I know you baby. How you doing?

41:31 Caller Good.

41:32 Drew All right. Here you go.

41:35 David Alan Grier My husband and I, every time we have anal sex, every single time I end up bleeding afterwards and I don't know if there's something wrong with that or not.

41:47 David Alan Grier Well, Dr. Drew, didn't you say that that's a good sign when your butt... Explodes... .bleeds rivulets of blood every time you jam something in there?

41:55 Drew You need to get an arterial bleed. You need to have really extra blood pumping.

41:59 David Alan Grier Oh, I hate it.

41:59 David Alan Grier That's when you know you struck gold.

42:00 Drew That's when you're in good shape.

42:02 David Alan Grier Do you enjoy this, Mandy?

42:03 David Alan Grier Does it feel good to you?

42:05 David Alan Grier Well, it does until we're done.

42:07 David Alan Grier Right, right. Do you have a lot of pain afterward?

42:10 Yeah.

42:11 David Alan Grier So, maybe... What'd I say? What'd I say? What'd I say? I got feelings for you. Can I prolapse your anus?

42:17 David Alan Grier That may be the ghost of Christmas future, Mandy. You just won a prolapsed anus. Now will... have you gone to the doctor yet?

42:27 David Alan Grier No.

42:28 David Alan Grier Yeah, maybe. Maybe you might want to do that and maybe you might want to slow down. You might want to slow down that activity. Dr. Drew, what do you think?

42:36 Drew First, Anderson, let me answer your question. For the ninth of the last ten nights, the microphone just falls off the GD stand into my lap.

42:45 Caller Come back over to Westwood One.

42:46 David Alan Grier Yeah.

42:46 Drew You pulled it off, Dr. Drew, by the way.

42:49 David Alan Grier It's not, you know, television. Anderson, he pulled it off with anger.

42:53 Drew Yeah, I ripped it off. I broke it off. That's what I did.

42:56 David Alan Grier You prolapsed the microphone, bro.

42:58 Drew Mandy, I'd recommend you not doing this. Is it that important to you guys sexually?

43:02 David Alan Grier Well, we usually do it once a month when we can't have the other sex.

43:06 Drew I would. Why can't you have the other kind of sex?

43:08 David Alan Grier Well, you know, because it's a curse.

43:12 David Alan Grier Yeah.

43:13 Drew It would be much, much, much better for you to have sex during your period.

43:18 David Alan Grier Not if your beloved female is unclean.

43:20 Drew It would be much, much, much better to have vaginal intercourse during your period than to do this to yourself. Do you understand me?

43:30 David Alan Grier Yes.

43:32 David Alan Grier Does your husband, boyfriend, brother, cousin, does he make you sleep in the garage when you're unclean down there?

43:40 David Alan Grier It's kind of more my thing than his. I don't like it.

43:43 David Alan Grier There you go.

43:44 Drew Well, then maybe skip a couple days there.

43:47 David Alan Grier How about a hand job? Is that a good question?

43:48 Drew Hand job, oral sex for everybody?

43:50 David Alan Grier Talk him through it.

43:51 Drew And look, Mandy, that's a part of the body that as you age, lots of things can happen. Hemorrhoids and prolapses and fissures.

43:58 David Alan Grier She's young, she's young.

43:59 Drew And if you're causing bleeding each time, that means you're traumatized that it's going to get strictured, I mean, the stuff that goes on.

44:06 David Alan Grier How do gay guys live a whole life of butt pounding? I mean, without-

44:10 Drew Very few butt pound. That's how.

44:12 David Alan Grier Very few?

44:13 Drew Most of them engage in mutual oral.

44:15 David Alan Grier Well, when you were gay, well, you didn't call it gay, but when you were having sex with men-

44:20 Drew When I was a man having sex with men?

44:21 David Alan Grier Yes.

44:22 Drew I never had anal sex. How dare you?

44:23 David Alan Grier Okay. All right.

44:24 Drew So you weren't really gay then? You were with my friends.

44:25 David Alan Grier Oh, okay.

44:25 Drew Sorry.

44:26 My bad. Hi.

44:28 David Alan Grier How are you guys doing?

44:30 David Alan Grier Hey, what's up?

44:31 David Alan Grier Well, like, my question is, I'm a lesbian, and my girlfriend and me have been using a strap-on for a while, and we've been together for about two years.

44:39 Drew Good times?

44:40 David Alan Grier And it's like, after a year and a half, she tells me she wants to start seeing men, but I'm not attracted to men, and I just, like, do not know what to do, because she doesn't want to leave me. But, like, she just wants to see certain men.

44:52 David Alan Grier Yeah, duh.

44:53 David Alan Grier What have you been using on her for the last year? A strap-on.

44:56 Drew Well, she sort of broke it in, as it were.

44:58 David Alan Grier There you go. She got a little taste of that love stick, honey.

45:01 David Alan Grier Now she wants to get a real one.

45:03 David Alan Grier I know, but it scares me, because I don't want her to fall in love with a man instead of me.

45:08 David Alan Grier Yeah, you have to have confidence in yourself.

45:10 David Alan Grier What? Let her go.

45:12 David Alan Grier Let her go. If she really loves you, she'll come back to you. You're young. There's many dikes out there.

45:17 Drew Yeah, first, but I will not allow anybody to use that BS about, if you're really free, let them go.

45:24 David Alan Grier Let her go.

45:24 Drew She can't keep her. That's what happens. Right, but you can't keep her.

45:27 David Alan Grier You can't keep her.

45:28 Drew I agree.

45:28 David Alan Grier So why try?

45:30 Drew And she sounds like she's pretty screwed up, Valerie, that she's not capable of a close relationship.

45:34 David Alan Grier How old is she?

45:35 David Alan Grier She's 19 and I'm 18, and we've been together for two years.

45:39 David Alan Grier I know, but at 19, that is a long relationship, Dr. Drew.

45:42 Drew It is. You're a good point, but now she's confused about her sexual identity, wants to go back to men. I smell abuse.

45:48 David Alan Grier Had she ever been with men in the first place?

45:51 David Alan Grier No.

45:52 David Alan Grier Have you ever been with a man?

45:54 David Alan Grier No, I'm the trust only woman.

45:56 David Alan Grier Okay, well, let me ask you this. Who brought up the whole strap-on idea? Was it you or her?

45:59 Drew Hold on, we're going to have to find out after the break. We have to go here.

46:02 David Alan Grier How dare you cut me off?

46:03 Drew Ali, hold on. I'm going to comment.

46:04 David Alan Grier Ali, answer now, quick. If you answer now, there'll be no break.

46:07 Drew Dag down during the break and it will feed, will ladle Pepsi down his throat.

46:10 David Alan Grier You get that hypodermic needle away from me, Dr. Drew.

46:11 David Alan Grier I'm saving people.

46:12 David Alan Grier Ali, Ali, tell me now, honey, who did the strap-on thing first? I can go into place now. It's got me off.

46:30 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191, call and talk to Dag on his final farewell appearance.

46:35 David Alan Grier It's my final appearance.

46:37 Drew And this now, we're finishing with Ali and you had a question for her.

46:41 David Alan Grier What I have a question for her?

46:42 Drew Something about the strap-on.

46:43 David Alan Grier Oh yeah, is Ali still there?

46:44 Drew Yeah, Ali.

46:46 David Alan Grier Ali, who introduced the strap-on? You or your honey bunny?

46:49 David Alan Grier Well, we were having a threesome with another girl and she introduced it to us. And so we thought we'd try it. And now it's like, it's a bad thing to try it.

46:57 David Alan Grier But.

46:58 Drew Why?

46:58 David Alan Grier Well, does she say that's why she wants to be with guys? No, I just want to know what she says.

47:03 Drew No way. Well, she may say that, but she is not willing to be with guys just because of that stupid strap on.

47:10 David Alan Grier She does though. It's like, cause I don't know. I'm not attracted to guys at all. Like I'll get drunk and that's the only way that I'll think they're at all cute.

47:18 David Alan Grier Like that's for most women, actually.

47:20 Drew Yeah, that's true.

47:21 Caller Straight or gay.

47:23 Drew But the strap on did not bring her around.

47:27 David Alan Grier Put the strap on on the phone. I want to talk to this damn thing.

47:31 Caller Yes, I did it.

47:34 David Alan Grier But she told you after the strap on that this is it, honey. This is it. Strictly, diggily.

47:41 David Alan Grier Yeah, I'm not really like that, but she still wants to be with me and everything, but she just wants to have some...

47:48 Drew All right, hold on. See what she's doing? She's like keeping the door open. For you, I'll stick with you, but I want a boy.

47:54 David Alan Grier She sounds like she's going to go nuts if she leaves her. Just let her go.

47:56 Drew Here's another lesbian, Crystal. Crystal.

47:59 Caller Hi.

47:59 Drew Do you think using a strap-on... We're good. Do you think using a strap-on could somehow convert a lesbian into someone that's into guys?

48:07 Caller I don't think so.

48:08 Drew No way. A lot of lesbians use strap-ons.

48:10 David Alan Grier Would you let her talk, please, big mouth?

48:13 David Alan Grier All right, hold on. Hold on. Go back to the other dike.

48:17 Drew Oh, she hung up.

48:18 David Alan Grier Oh, she hung up?

48:19 Drew Yeah.

48:20 David Alan Grier Oh, dog on it. Man, we could have helped her. We could have said, you know, like this lesbo told her that she doesn't agree. So maybe she'd listen to her better.

48:30 Drew So what's the question, Crystal?

48:32 Caller Okay. Um, I, I've been sexually active with men. I had a crush on a girl a long time ago. Um, I'm not physically attracted to men, but I end up with men. But I think, I think, I, I, I think I am a lesbian. I know that there are born les, born gay people. I have a friend who is born gay.

48:55 Drew There's a chance for a song for you.

48:57 Caller No, no, I'm not.

48:58 David Alan Grier Born gay people.

49:00 David Alan Grier But go ahead, continue. You think that you're a lesbian.

49:05 Caller Yes.

49:05 David Alan Grier Well, there's only one way to find out.

49:08 Caller Well, no, I have, I, I find penises kind of gross.

49:13 Drew That's normal. Every girl does.

49:15 Caller Not every girl.

49:15 Caller No, no, like I, but like I fantasize about women. And I think that maybe it's, I don't want to blame my father, but he doesn't think he, I told him that I like girls once. And the first thing he said was it wasn't his fault. But I kind of do blame him.

49:32 Caller All right.

49:32 David Alan Grier Why are you women? Why are you even going down? If you think you're a lesbian, why not get it cracking and just go be a lesbian? It sounds like you're trying to explain or understand why this dysfunction. And I use that word because that's how you're describing it. Just be that if that's what you want to do, go do it. Don't overthink it. Just go grab. Is there a chick in the room?

49:53 Caller No.

49:54 David Alan Grier All right. But have you had a full-time? Now, are you afraid of it or what?

50:00 Caller No, I'm not. I'm just trying to make sure that I'm not like, it's just in my head and it was just because of my dad.

50:08 David Alan Grier Well, you got to do it. And here's the deal. Go have a lesbian relationship. If it doesn't work out, honey, you can always come back to our team.

50:15 Drew One of the ways that women end up, well, end up, one of the routes to lesbianism is being brutalized by men. I've had a lot of patients like that. And interestingly, the relationship, when two women develop a monogamous relationship, it is very intense. When that breaks up.

50:31 David Alan Grier Isn't it when anybody develops a monogamous relationship?

50:34 Drew It's unusually intense. It's very hard for them to break up.

50:36 David Alan Grier Also, isn't it very common for lesbians to stop actually having sex, but then they stay together?

50:42 Drew The dirty little secret of my lab is being community is that it's common for after six months for lesbians to completely stop having sex.

50:48 David Alan Grier But they still stay together.

50:49 Drew They stay together because they're not interested in the sex. They're not penis. They're interested in the cuddling and the closeness and stuff. However, many lesbians also have an abuse history and they get sexually compulsive and then they keep going with the sex.

51:00 David Alan Grier Right. So you're saying anyone who wants to have sex is sexually compulsive?

51:04 Drew No, no, I'm not saying that.

51:05 David Alan Grier Anyone who doesn't want to have sex is crazy.

51:08 David Alan Grier Anyone who doesn't like sex is nuts.

51:11 Drew What's your thing?

51:12 David Alan Grier Anyone who masturbates is a coup.

51:14 Drew You've said that too.

51:15 David Alan Grier Anyone who likes anal sex is loopy.

51:19 David Alan Grier What do I have to look forward to, Dr. Drew?

51:23 Drew Aging. Just the aging process.

51:25 Caller Oh, God.

51:27 David Alan Grier Well, she should just do it.

51:28 David Alan Grier I mean, she sounds like she's in her head. How can you think?

51:30 David Alan Grier I don't think.

51:32 Drew I know. And by the way, when people are really into their sexuality, they do it. They're driven to it.

51:38 David Alan Grier Exactly. You don't sit there and write a term paper.

51:39 Drew It's not an intellectual process. It's like they have to do that. So that goes. Benny, 22.

51:44 Yeah. David, Dr. Drew, it's a great honor to talk to both of you guys.

51:50 David Alan Grier What's up, man?

51:50 Drew Our honor, dude.

51:52 I have a girlfriend who may have been molested by her father. And she likes to indulge in a taboo role playing where I play like the father figure.

52:06 Caller Right.

52:07 And I'm going to know, should I indulge in that? And how healthy is that?

52:14 David Alan Grier You should indulge in it if you feel comfortable and healthy about it. It doesn't sound like you do.

52:21 No, I don't.

52:22 Drew Wait, wait, she was sexually abused or you think she was?

52:24 David Alan Grier He said he thinks she was.

52:26 Her think she was for sure.

52:28 David Alan Grier Then she probably was. Does she give you a specific script and all that stuff? Like, here's what you have to say and all that kind of stuff.

52:35 Caller No, just daddy.

52:37 David Alan Grier Right. Now, how long have you been going out with this girl?

52:41 I've been close for five years.

52:43 David Alan Grier All right. When did all the daddy stuff start?

52:46 Pretty recently, actually. So ever since that, I've kind of tailed off.

52:50 Drew Dating how long?

52:51 David Alan Grier Five years?

52:52 Close to five years.

52:53 David Alan Grier Right. And you know her fam? Well, that doesn't mean anything. But anyway, have you asked her, like, does she tell you? What?

53:01 David Alan Grier Does she tell you that she can't get off without you doing this?

53:04 No, we do.

53:05 Caller We do other stuff.

53:06 So we don't just have to do that strictly.

53:08 Drew Five years.

53:09 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew is doubting you, my friend.

53:11 Drew He gets such a bogus flair to this. I'm just saying.

53:16 Caller Why?

53:18 Ask me any questions, I'll answer it.

53:21 Drew I'm just saying.

53:22 David Alan Grier Well, when you say you do other things, what do you mean?

53:24 Caller Well, just regular sex. We don't have to do the daddy stuff all the time.

53:27 Drew Yeah, but five years in the...

53:28 David Alan Grier Hold on. How did she introduce it? How did it come up?

53:32 We just kind of got into it. We just kind of...

53:35 Drew Now you said, ask any questions, Betty. Here's the question.

53:38 Caller We just kind of got into it. She said...

53:39 Drew That's not... No.

53:41 Caller Are you down for this?

53:44 Caller Are you cool with getting into this kind of...

53:48 Drew You're going down the bogus highway so fast, buddy.

53:51 Caller I swear on my mother's life.

53:53 David Alan Grier Don't do that.

53:53 Caller She's not bogus. She said...

53:55 Drew All right, listen.

53:57 David Alan Grier She brought it up then. You're saying she brought it up. Hold on. Dr. Drew, I told you...

54:01 I'm cool with this.

54:02 Drew Anderson, Anderson, ring in here. I need your liability.

54:06 David Alan Grier Go ahead, Anderson. I believe him.

54:08 Drew Okay.

54:08 David Alan Grier I believe him, too.

54:09 David Alan Grier This is Dag's Night, boy.

54:10 Drew I'll go with it.

54:11 David Alan Grier Nobody is bogus.

54:13 Caller By the way, David?

54:14 David Alan Grier Yes.

54:15 Caller I think you should be on Adam's new show.

54:16 Drew Now he's a liar.

54:17 Caller He's gonna be a perfect voice guy.

54:19 David Alan Grier Oh, yeah, okay.

54:20 Caller I think you're a genius.

54:21 David Alan Grier Thank you, man.

54:22 Caller And you would be so good on that show.

54:23 Drew Thank you. Well, right now...

54:25 David Alan Grier Well, right now, I'm stuck here.

54:27 David Alan Grier But shut up, you big, black... Hi, Chelsea. That's my Chelsea.

54:34 David Alan Grier I don't know what to tell you, dude. I mean, it sounds like she probably was abused.

54:38 Drew But why after five years does it come up all of a sudden?

54:41 David Alan Grier That's not something you talk about, dude.

54:43 Caller Because her sister just admitted it to her.

54:45 Caller They had a big argument.

54:46 Caller Oh, okay.

54:48 David Alan Grier See?

54:48 Caller All right. My father abused me, and then they had a big thing, and then I just found out.

54:54 David Alan Grier Did you ever ask her directly and say, What's going on?

54:57 David Alan Grier Were you abused?

55:00 Caller Yeah, I did, and she said, she said, you don't know and don't remember.

55:04 David Alan Grier That means yes.

55:05 Drew Yeah, well, the fact that it suddenly surfaced for the sister is possible, the reason why. And I would urge you not to indulge this myself, because you start going down a fetishistic path, and that erupts into all kinds of craziness.

55:18 David Alan Grier Stick to the missionary position.

55:20 Drew And diminishes the closeness and the relationship. If she's got some issues, she's got to work them out.

55:24 David Alan Grier But also it's fun, so you might want to role play a little bit and get more into it.

55:29 Drew Little Red Riding Hood.

55:30 David Alan Grier No, Danny.

55:31 Drew Cinderella.

55:31 David Alan Grier Get in here!

55:32 Drew Chris, 23. Hi. Hey.

55:36 David Alan Grier Hey, what's up?

55:37 Caller Not much, I'm just calling in. I just, this is the first time calling in. Dag, I wanted to know, you said you mentioned you have a new show that's going to be coming out in 2006?

55:45 David Alan Grier Yes.

55:46 I just want to know what it's about.

55:48 Drew It's either that or just do Voices for Adam's Morning Show.

55:51 David Alan Grier What's it going to be?

55:51 David Alan Grier That is a tough call.

55:53 David Alan Grier No, it's a show we're going to do as syndicated on Fox. Late night, we're going to start weekly on Saturday or Sunday. I don't know the time slot yet, but we start production right after the new year.

56:04 Drew Does it have a name?

56:05 David Alan Grier No, I don't know. I mean, we just started. And hopefully I'll do it out of New York City. A lot of comedy.

56:13 Drew It's going to be called Dag and Drag.

56:15 David Alan Grier No, that's the one thing it won't be. But, you know, it'll be comedy, music.

56:20 Drew Speaking of comedy, you were supposed to do a Maya Angelou imitation tonight.

56:24 David Alan Grier Maya Angelou. I got to get into it over break. I got to practice.

56:27 Drew Really?

56:27 David Alan Grier It's been a while.

56:28 Caller Can I just say real quick, I'm a huge fan of Loveline, I'm a huge fan of Dag. Dr. Drew, I read your book. I loved it.

56:34 I'm a huge fan of Adam.

56:35 Caller Come back as much as you can, Dag, and get in St. Clown's Office back in.

56:39 Drew That's a good idea. I was thinking about that the other night. We will.

56:41 Caller Thank you.

56:42 Drew You know what St. Clown's Office is? I love it.

56:43 Caller My only weight I lift is my own.

56:44 David Alan Grier My big fat ass every day when I wake up.

56:46 Caller The only weight I lift is my own.

56:48 David Alan Grier My big fat ass every day when I wake up. That was pretty good.

56:53 Caller My fat ass.

56:55 David Alan Grier Oh my God.

56:56 Caller Hey, play that again.

56:59 David Alan Grier What happened to those guys?

57:00 David Alan Grier They're from Detroit, right?

57:01 David Alan Grier They're from Detroit.

57:02 David Alan Grier Detroit, man. I'm from Detroit. Man, Detroit has a long line of insane kooks.

57:07 Caller Suck the hell out of her butthole, man.

57:10 David Alan Grier You can press the balls.

57:11 Caller I love them.

57:13 Caller You can gently pat them.

57:14 Caller You can stroke them.

57:16 Caller You can juggle them from side to side to side to hand.

57:18 David Alan Grier But don't punch the balls.

57:21 Drew These guys come in here in Mexican wrestling masks and scare the F out of everybody. They go by two and a half bells and they're six foot four.

57:30 David Alan Grier Dude, I would drive over to the studio at midnight.

57:33 David Alan Grier Oh yeah.

57:33 David Alan Grier I've heard them. Why haven't they been on for a while?

57:36 Drew I was thinking about them the other day. It's time. Because they're scared of the F out of everybody.

57:40 David Alan Grier But you're here.

57:41 Caller I mean, you guys.

57:43 David Alan Grier Come on. And how many times have they?

57:46 Drew Twice. Been up here?

57:47 David Alan Grier Really? Only twice?

57:48 Drew I think maybe three. I think twice. I remember.

57:50 David Alan Grier They got to put out an album, man. Those dudes were crazy.

57:52 Drew The first time they came, it was like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. These guys in the Mexican wrestling masks.

57:56 David Alan Grier Oh, that was great. And who else was here? Michelle Branch? Was she the one?

58:00 Drew Was that her?

58:01 David Alan Grier Michelle Branch?

58:01 Drew And what happened?

58:02 David Alan Grier No, she was really hot.

58:03 David Alan Grier I liked her.

58:03 Caller Oh, yeah, yeah.

58:04 David Alan Grier Is she the one who got knocked up by her drummer?

58:06 David Alan Grier It's always the drummers. These bands are pounding everyone.

58:09 Caller Germany or Florida.

58:11 Drew There she is.

58:11 Oh, gosh.

58:13 David Alan Grier Germany or Florida.

58:15 David Alan Grier Yeah, that's nice.

58:16 Drew Kevin 16.

58:18 David Alan Grier Hey, first time caller.

58:21 David Alan Grier I'm calling about I have migraines and I've had them for about the past year and we don't know what's causing them.

58:28 Drew You've had a complete workup.

58:29 David Alan Grier You're sure they're migraines? I've had an MRI, had two CAT scans, an EKG. All right.

58:35 Drew One of the ways you can take a bad intermittent headache and make it as overwhelming daily headache is get on opiates regularly. So are you taking opiate pain medication?

58:43 David Alan Grier Okay, so here's what happened.

58:45 David Alan Grier They first put me on Vicodin.

58:47 Drew There you go.

58:47 David Alan Grier Of course. And I got off that a long time ago because it eventually stopped working.

58:52 Drew Well, it actually causes the headaches. It makes the headaches daily.

58:57 David Alan Grier How long did you take the Vicodin?

58:59 David Alan Grier I don't remember because right after that, they put me on amitriptyline.

59:03 Drew Yeah, that's all right.

59:04 David Alan Grier And that's like an antidepressant. And so it actually made me depressed. And I have like scars from that.

59:10 Drew From cutting?

59:10 David Alan Grier From what?

59:11 David Alan Grier I'm just like scratching my hands. I have five scars on my hand. I don't remember feeling any different. But my mom says I was like, like hating everyone.

59:21 David Alan Grier Right.

59:22 Drew I got news for you. That's not the amitriptyline. There's something else going on here, Kevin.

59:26 David Alan Grier Does anybody else in your family, have they suffered from migraines?

59:32 David Alan Grier No, not like I have, no.

59:35 David Alan Grier Because doesn't it run in the family sometimes?

59:37 Drew True migraines. It's more like severe headache this is. Right. All right. What's happening? What are you taking now?

59:43 David Alan Grier After the amitriptyline, they put me on imitrex, stopped working.

59:47 Drew Right.

59:48 David Alan Grier And now I'm on butylbutyl.

59:51 Drew I love that. That's furanol. It's addictive too. Butylbutyl. So here we go, Kevin.

59:56 David Alan Grier And it's starting to not work again. And I'm getting really pissed off because I keep having to go back to the doctor and they keep prescribing me something. And the next thing they're trying to prescribe me is topamax.

1:00:06 Drew Yeah, topamax is a good one. Isn't amitriptyline one of your kids?

1:00:09 David Alan Grier It is. Amitriptyline! Amitriptyline! Did you kill this pigeon? Now don't run away from me. Don't you run away from me.

1:00:20 David Alan Grier Amitriptyline, did you kill this pigeon? Now, I'm going to go get my gym shoes on.

1:00:27 Drew You know what? I think he's got a BB gun.

1:00:29 David Alan Grier Put that whiffle ball back down.

1:00:31 Caller Look, you know what?

1:00:33 David Alan Grier Why have you ever tried not medicating? I mean, can't you try something else?

1:00:38 David Alan Grier I've tried. I've gone two months without everything because I got He means getting therapy, yoga, file feedback.

1:00:46 David Alan Grier File feedback, something. I mean, because it sounds like none of this stuff is really working.

1:00:50 Drew And again, to me, when these chronic pain things pop up, I just think abuse is abuse.

1:00:54 David Alan Grier Geez, I don't know what just happened to my back. I need some Vicodins.

1:00:57 Caller Please stop.

1:00:57 David Alan Grier No, what happened was like I was born with a foot defect.

1:01:00 Caller Like it was, what's it called?

1:01:03 David Alan Grier I don't remember. It was sideways, twist around backwards. And so I've had 40 surgeries on my leg and my foot, and I've been susceptible to all these like medications and all these things. And so.

1:01:14 Drew It's pretty traumatic.

1:01:16 David Alan Grier When you're a kid.

1:01:16 David Alan Grier My doctors are saying my immune system is crap.

1:01:21 Drew There's nothing to do with these headaches. I got news for you.

1:01:23 David Alan Grier OK.

1:01:23 Drew Well. But. But having been traumatized like that, overwhelming, you know, repeatedly as a child, that's where headaches come from. And then you get on opiates.

1:01:33 David Alan Grier My dad thinks it's from a cat's bean or straw. I don't know.

1:01:35 Drew No, no. And then you get on opiates. That would be nice to be quaint. That's all it were. Then you get on opiates routinely and that intensifies all this. And now you're on a barbiturary, butylbutyl or furanol. Is it furanol with codeine or just regular furanol?

1:01:48 David Alan Grier It's just generic. I don't know what it is.

1:01:51 David Alan Grier But it seems like sometimes in problems like this, people get it. It's a culture of medication. So you're fixated on it. Your family's fixated on it. All your energy. You go to certain doctors who try one med after another. It seems like it just feeds on itself.

1:02:08 Drew Therapy and biofeedback. They're in their pain.

1:02:10 David Alan Grier They're management. Not getting rid of it because it seems like sometimes that is not going to happen. So you got to manage the pain.

1:02:16 Drew Totally agree.

1:02:16 David Alan Grier Like our friendship, Dr. Drew, manage the pain. You're never going to get rid of me.

1:02:36 Drew Next caller, Jamie 21.

1:02:40 Caller Hi, I just want to say I love your show. I'm a long time listener. I have a couple of questions.

1:02:46 David Alan Grier They're all related, though.

1:02:47 David Alan Grier I gave myself a migraine after that last time, too bad.

1:02:51 Caller I have kind of a porn addiction, not really addiction, but I have a fascination with porn, of really strange genres that actually, if I think about them outside of pornography, they gross me out.

1:03:07 Drew Like in reality, doing it in real life.

1:03:08 Caller Right.

1:03:09 David Alan Grier Do you masturbate while you watch this stuff?

1:03:11 Caller I'm sorry?

1:03:12 David Alan Grier Do you masturbate while you watch this stuff?

1:03:15 Caller Well, usually. Sometimes no.

1:03:17 David Alan Grier Sometimes I just watch it.

1:03:18 Caller But like group sex, double penetration things.

1:03:23 David Alan Grier Slow it down. Slow it down, honey.

1:03:25 Caller Sorry.

1:03:26 David Alan Grier I'm nervous.

1:03:26 David Alan Grier Do you like the black, white interracial stuff, do you?

1:03:30 Caller I don't know. I just, I don't understand why.

1:03:34 David Alan Grier Trannies.

1:03:35 Caller Like, and I have a boyfriend of about two and a half years now.

1:03:39 David Alan Grier Have you ever seen a midget porn? Have you seen that stuff?

1:03:42 David Alan Grier No.

1:03:43 David Alan Grier You haven't seen that? Okay.

1:03:44 Caller No.

1:03:45 David Alan Grier Well, I've seen it, but that doesn't interest me.

1:03:47 Caller Me neither.

1:03:50 David Alan Grier So what's the stuff that really turns you on this week? What kind of porn are we watching?

1:03:55 Caller Like group sex and double penetration.

1:03:57 David Alan Grier Oh boy. Well, yeah, double penetration. That's a party I don't want to be at.

1:04:02 David Alan Grier Sorry, is that your foot, man?

1:04:03 David Alan Grier I'm sorry. I'm trying to get my stroke on. You know, you're breathing all over my back. What were you eating, man?

1:04:08 Caller Peanuts?

1:04:08 David Alan Grier Your breath is funky.

1:04:10 Caller Can you scoot down a little?

1:04:10 David Alan Grier Sorry, baby. Go ahead. Oh, is this my hole or your hole? Okay. Sorry. Let me dip around. Let's switch. Okay. On the count of three. So do you ever try and do this stuff in real life?

1:04:22 David Alan Grier No.

1:04:24 Caller My boyfriend asks me what fantasies I have all the time, all the time. And I don't want to tell him what I fantasize about because I feel ashamed of it and I don't think I would ever do it in real life.

1:04:38 David Alan Grier But most fantasies, most people don't. You're supposed to talk about your fantasies.

1:04:42 Drew Yeah, it's supposed to remain a fantasy.

1:04:44 David Alan Grier Some girls don't realize that.

1:04:46 Drew But how old were you when you...

1:04:47 Caller Every time that he has some sort of fantasy, I have no problem indulging that because none of the ones that he thought of have really freaked me out.

1:04:54 Drew Here, let me translate it. Hold up.

1:04:56 David Alan Grier Does he say, I have a fantasy?

1:04:58 Drew Or I want to do this?

1:05:00 David Alan Grier Yeah, that's two different things.

1:05:01 Drew Yes. Both. All right, but the fantasy is fantasy. I want to try something.

1:05:06 David Alan Grier But that's why you're scared though. That's why you're scared because if you tell him about the group double penetration, you know what's going to happen.

1:05:12 Drew Right. That's where he's taking you.

1:05:14 David Alan Grier Rayquan! Dino! Get up in here, brother!

1:05:19 David Alan Grier You have to tell him. You say, yeah, maybe you're right. Don't bring it up because once you tell him, you're not going to be able to untell him.

1:05:25 Drew But you're wondering why you're like this with the pornography and why in real life you get disgusted by all that. Now, here's my question. How old were you when you started watching porn?

1:05:33 Caller Oh, really young. Probably 13.

1:05:37 Drew That's what this is. I'm of the opinion that early porn exposure sort of requires high levels of stimulation as you get older because it becomes sort of like you kind of get burned out to the routine stuff and so you need more exciting, more arousal in order to be aroused. But that doesn't mean that translates into your, necessarily at least, doesn't mean it translates into your real life. And so while some guys, like when they look at porn, they like looking at certain kinds of porn, they may not even like that kind of person in real life, but they just like the image of it.

1:06:07 David Alan Grier First of all, real porn in DVD form, gut-buckety, raunchy porn like I love now, it was not available, at 13, we would cut out, you know, one-

1:06:20 Drew That was seven years ago.

1:06:21 David Alan Grier I know, but I'm talking 70 years ago. I mean, it was, but what I'm saying is that the only reason I wouldn't have been doing that is because it was not available, you know? I mean, so, I don't know, you said this is your opinion. Aren't there some studies, you know, about opinion, man?

1:06:36 Drew Not that I've seen.

1:06:37 David Alan Grier Well, why don't you do a study, dude? I mean, you can't live life by, it's my opinion that you're wrong.

1:06:41 Drew But I've had some experience with this clinically with people and they do say that, you know, this early prone exposure either leads to sexual compulsion if it's very early or it sort of leads to sort of higher need of fantasy or stimulating fantasy life. And so Jamie, fine, keep it there. Do not take it into your real life.

1:06:58 David Alan Grier But how was it introduced to you at 13? Was it something that you discovered or was it shown to you by an older person? How was it introduced to you?

1:07:07 Caller Um, I had friends talk about it at school and I would sneak in watch maybe once every four or five months and I would get really scared of it. But I would be kind of perversely interested, you know, because it was so forbidden.

1:07:21 David Alan Grier Right.

1:07:22 Drew Um, that's where that's where she finds her arousal. That was the more forbidden.

1:07:25 David Alan Grier There's nothing wrong with that, Dr. Drew.

1:07:27 Drew So there we go.

1:07:27 David Alan Grier Jamie, are you coming to, Jamie, are you coming to Los Angeles at any time?

1:07:32 Caller Unfortunately, no.

1:07:33 David Alan Grier All right. Next caller.

1:07:35 Drew All right, Jamie. It's fine. Okay. Okay. It's not a wish. It's a fantasy. And it's a sort of a, let's how can I describe this to you? A level of stimuli you've been conditioned to.

1:07:46 David Alan Grier Right. And don't, don't tell your boyfriend about that double penetration or you're going to knock that box sideways, honey.

1:07:52 Drew Jeff, 20, whoa, no way. We got to take a break. It's time for a break.

1:07:54 David Alan Grier What?

1:07:55 Caller What is with these breaks?

1:07:56 Drew I know, it's dude.

1:07:57 David Alan Grier Huh? This is a, is this a new FCC rule?

1:07:59 Drew Because you're having so much fun, things are moving along so quickly.

1:08:01 Caller You're cutting into my time. With Jamie.

1:08:05 David Alan Grier Jamie's crying.

1:08:08 David Alan Grier All right, let's take this break.

1:08:09 Drew I'll be right back. 1-800-LOVE-191.

1:08:17 Caller Operators are standing by.

1:08:19 David Alan Grier Loveline will be back in a minute.

1:08:21 Drew Loveline. Dag.

1:08:25 David Alan Grier It's me, baby. We got like 35 minutes. There's been a request for...

1:08:29 Drew And then I'm gonna have to kiss you because it's farewell.

1:08:31 David Alan Grier Oh, no, none of that. None of that, my friend.

1:08:33 Drew We have to go all the way?

1:08:38 David Alan Grier I'm gonna be leaving now.

1:08:40 Drew Right now?

1:08:41 David Alan Grier Well, in about 40 minutes.

1:08:45 Caller Oh, sorry.

1:08:48 David Alan Grier Next caller.

1:08:49 Drew Yeah, what's up, buddy?

1:08:50 Caller What's going on, gentlemen? Merry Christmas. Hey, two questions. Number one, my girlfriend, every so often she had her child. She has a problem with stimulation. Is there anything that can be done about that?

1:09:04 David Alan Grier How old is the baby?

1:09:06 Caller Two years old.

1:09:07 David Alan Grier And is this her first child?

1:09:09 Caller Yes, sir.

1:09:10 Caller Yep.

1:09:11 Drew By the way, that's a euphemism that I didn't understand. What kind of stimulation are you talking about?

1:09:16 Caller Like, she can't receive, she can't get multiple orgasms.

1:09:20 Drew She used to get multiple orgasms?

1:09:22 Caller Yeah.

1:09:23 Caller I mean, she can get off like four or five times every time, but it's just not all there.

1:09:30 David Alan Grier But isn't that kind of common, Dr. Drew, that women's physiology changes dramatically after?

1:09:36 Drew Some women become more multi-orgasmic after pregnancy.

1:09:38 David Alan Grier That's not this case, no.

1:09:39 Drew This just went the other way.

1:09:40 David Alan Grier But also I'm asking, if this is her first child and you said it's still within two years, that doesn't mean it's always going to be like this.

1:09:49 David Alan Grier What would you suggest?

1:09:50 David Alan Grier I mean...

1:09:50 Caller Well, in oral, there's not as much stimulation there either.

1:09:55 Drew Is she on medication now?

1:09:57 David Alan Grier Nope.

1:09:57 Caller No medication.

1:09:58 Drew No birth control, no medication?

1:10:00 Caller Nope.

1:10:02 Drew Aren't you guys trying to not have a baby or you want to have another baby?

1:10:06 Caller Well, the baby's not mine. It was with somebody else. I mean, in time we'll probably have a kid, but not right now.

1:10:13 Drew But why aren't you using birth control then? You're going to have a kid if you're not.

1:10:17 Caller She's not. You must have misunderstood me. She's not using anything.

1:10:21 Drew Then you're going to have a kid.

1:10:25 Caller No.

1:10:26 David Alan Grier Okay. Wait a minute.

1:10:28 Drew Are you wearing a condom? Is that what you mean?

1:10:30 Caller Well, yeah, I do.

1:10:32 David Alan Grier I was like going, I need to get this.

1:10:34 Caller What kind of new thing is going on?

1:10:36 David Alan Grier Now, has she had an orgasm? You said at all? Not once since she's had the baby?

1:10:40 Caller Oh, no. She does. I mean, she'll have four or five of them.

1:10:43 David Alan Grier Right. What's the problem then, dude?

1:10:45 Caller She can't have it. She used to get multiples all the time before the child.

1:10:49 David Alan Grier Well, you know what?

1:10:50 David Alan Grier Don't quibble, please.

1:10:51 Drew I deem this a non-problem.

1:10:52 David Alan Grier Get out of here.

1:10:53 Drew Four or five.

1:10:53 David Alan Grier Go away.

1:10:54 David Alan Grier She used to fire. I'd look at her love button and she'd just shoot them off like a rocket.

1:10:59 David Alan Grier She can have five.

1:11:00 David Alan Grier Like semi-automatic.

1:11:02 David Alan Grier Now she just plow down, plow down.

1:11:05 David Alan Grier I'm waiting.

1:11:06 David Alan Grier Plow down.

1:11:08 David Alan Grier I want it back when it plow down.

1:11:10 David Alan Grier Yeah. OK.

1:11:11 Drew Nicole, 19. Nicole.

1:11:15 David Alan Grier Nicole.

1:11:15 Drew Call her who goes by Nicole.

1:11:18 David Alan Grier Nicole.

1:11:18 Drew Let's hear what she's doing.

1:11:19 Caller Yeah. I'm right here.

1:11:20 Drew All right. We're right here. We're waiting for you.

1:11:23 Caller I wanted to know how can a man find your G spot with his finger?

1:11:32 Drew What are you talking about? Why do you assume you have one that can be found?

1:11:37 Caller Because I've heard that from all kinds of women and also from men.

1:11:42 Drew No, this is there's no G spot. Look, Nicole, what's your fact? What is the problem you're having?

1:11:48 David Alan Grier She wants to find her G spot.

1:11:50 Caller No, nothing other than I just hear that the orgasms are better or that...

1:11:56 Drew How do you have orgasms now?

1:11:59 Caller Orally or vaginally or with a penis all three ways.

1:12:05 David Alan Grier Hey guys, this is the original check that called in.

1:12:07 Drew What do you mean?

1:12:08 David Alan Grier Patricia just told me that somebody else was on the phone that she screened.

1:12:12 Drew All right, well anyway, you're not having a problem finding the G spot because you can have vaginal intercourses. Because you can have orgasm with intercourses. So there you go.

1:12:20 David Alan Grier Is it G spot? You're saying the G spot is bogus.

1:12:22 Drew No, it's not bogus. It's just that there's an area for internal stimulation that some women can be stimulated by and some can't. And if you're a woman that just has it predominantly with oral sex, direct stimulation on the clitoris, it's very unlikely.

1:12:34 David Alan Grier Excuse me?

1:12:35 Drew Direct stimulation on the clitoris.

1:12:36 David Alan Grier Oh my goodness.

1:12:37 Drew It's very unlikely you're going to get much from internal stimulation. It can be a little bit pushing up inside there, but it's not that big a deal.

1:12:44 David Alan Grier So you're saying just ring the bell.

1:12:46 Drew But she has orgasms with intercourse, with oral sex, whatever.

1:12:49 David Alan Grier She's a bit greedy.

1:12:49 Drew So whatever.

1:12:50 David Alan Grier Do you even know where my B spot is? That's before the G spot and it's supposed to be double the G. I want to find a B spot.

1:12:58 Drew Way too much is made of that whole thing.

1:13:00 David Alan Grier But isn't that old? I haven't heard about G spots since, you know.

1:13:03 Drew Listen, the women's magazines make a huge deal out of finding a man's G spot, which does not exist. Absolutely does not exist. And for women, again, there are different ways to stimulate you. If you experiment, you feel around what's working for people. But if you get an organism by multiple means, you're good to go.

1:13:20 David Alan Grier Have you ever experienced that with one of your lovers back in the 70s?

1:13:22 Drew Dating a virgin. I mean, say Jake, if 18.

1:13:25 David Alan Grier That never happened to you?

1:13:27 Caller Hello?

1:13:28 David Alan Grier Hey, what's up, man?

1:13:29 Caller Hi.

1:13:30 Caller I just first want to say, Dr. Drew, I've listened to you forever. I've listened to all your advice. You're the best doctor out there to listen to, besides, you know, the one I pay. Well, my question is, I'm dating a girl now that I've been dating for about a month and she's a virgin and I'm not and she wants to have sex but I feel kind of weird to de-virginize her.

1:13:54 Drew Let's talk about it. Yeah, what is the feeling? What is it that's weird about it?

1:14:00 Caller I think it's because I, well, you don't care about her.

1:14:03 David Alan Grier You said you really do care about her?

1:14:05 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:14:06 Drew So wouldn't that make you want to be sexual with her?

1:14:09 David Alan Grier He doesn't want the responsibility.

1:14:10 Caller Yeah, I do but I mean, I don't know, because I was raised up very, sex is a bad thing kind of way. I was raised LDF so it's always been, sex before marriage is bad and evil.

1:14:28 Drew Yes, but you've already done that. What does that have to do with her not becoming a virgin?

1:14:31 David Alan Grier He doesn't want the responsibility, right? Me?

1:14:36 Caller Yeah.

1:14:38 Caller Maybe, yeah.

1:14:39 David Alan Grier I mean, is she saying she's in love with you? She wants to spend the rest of her life with you?

1:14:44 Caller No, not at all.

1:14:46 David Alan Grier Let me tell you something, if I were dating a virgin now, I wouldn't want to pop her cherry. I'm telling you this true. Because you know they're going to go crazy on you.

1:14:52 Drew Right. You don't want to be that guy, James.

1:14:54 David Alan Grier Hi David, it's me.

1:14:55 David Alan Grier I've been standing out by the window.

1:14:56 David Alan Grier You see me in the window?

1:14:57 David Alan Grier Okay, I'm going to come inside.

1:15:00 David Alan Grier I love you.

1:15:01 David Alan Grier No, you don't want that.

1:15:02 Drew You don't want to be that guy. It's quite a responsibility there, Jake.

1:15:05 David Alan Grier I don't know how you're going to get out of it clean either.

1:15:07 Drew And you're just screwing around.

1:15:09 Caller Well, yes and no. I do care about it. She's fun to be with.

1:15:12 Drew Yes, you care about it, but you know that this is going to create an attachment that's going to be intense and you don't want that.

1:15:18 David Alan Grier You should tell her to go sleep with somebody else and then date her.

1:15:22 Caller Really?

1:15:25 David Alan Grier How far has she gone? Has she just not had intercourse or nothing at all?

1:15:30 Caller She hasn't had intercourse. I don't think she's had oral sex yet.

1:15:36 David Alan Grier I'm going to teach you some game right now. Look, here's what you do. You tell her that you are in love with her so much that you love her too much to have intercourse. But listen to me, man. Would you listen?

1:15:47 David Alan Grier I'm trying to make you a pimp.

1:15:49 David Alan Grier I'm trying to make you a pimp. You say, look.

1:15:51 Drew You don't be a liar like that.

1:15:52 David Alan Grier Wait a minute.

1:15:53 Drew I'm just saying. But why ain't you got no play, playa?

1:15:56 David Alan Grier You say, look, I can only receive oral sex. That's the only way I can have you. Now, I want to be here, but let's talk this. It may take months, but get on that knob, girl. That's how you do it. That's how you do it.

1:16:09 Drew You gotta get out there and get your bitch spunk drunk.

1:16:14 David Alan Grier You don't have to get her spunk drunk.

1:16:16 David Alan Grier You just gotta get her on that knob, brother.

1:16:18 Caller Well, here's also part of the thing is, me, how I get turned on is when I know that I have succeeded in making her orgasm.

1:16:28 Drew Sure.

1:16:31 David Alan Grier You can do that without having intercourse. You know that.

1:16:34 Caller Yeah.

1:16:34 Drew So why don't you have oral sex with her since that's something she's already done.

1:16:38 David Alan Grier Right.

1:16:38 Drew How about that? Just hold it right there.

1:16:40 David Alan Grier And stretch it out as long as you can. It's to your advantage.

1:16:43 David Alan Grier Wow.

1:16:44 David Alan Grier Virgin, man. When's the last time you had a virgin, Drew?

1:16:48 Drew Melissa, 27.

1:16:49 David Alan Grier Oh my gosh.

1:16:54 David Alan Grier Oh, geez.

1:16:56 Caller That's some funny stuff there.

1:16:57 Drew What's up?

1:16:59 David Alan Grier I was calling because I was hoping you could tell me what's wrong with me. For like the last maybe year, I've been feeling, I'm not really depressed or sad, but I'll have extreme mood changes where I'll be like really happy and just in a really good mood.

1:17:16 Drew Maybe it's because there's a train track behind your house making it impossible to sleep.

1:17:20 David Alan Grier You better watch out. You may be standing on the train tracks. Go ahead, Melissa.

1:17:24 David Alan Grier Go ahead. I'm at work and so.

1:17:26 David Alan Grier Where do you work? At the railroad station?

1:17:29 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:17:30 Caller Hold on.

1:17:31 Drew What kind of work do you do?

1:17:33 David Alan Grier I'm a truck driver.

1:17:34 Drew Oh, you're just dropping off trailers.

1:17:35 David Alan Grier Sexy. Are you really cute?

1:17:38 Caller Am I cute?

1:17:39 Caller Yeah.

1:17:41 Drew Sexy truck driver?

1:17:42 Caller Are you cute?

1:17:44 David Alan Grier Am I cute?

1:17:45 Caller Yeah.

1:17:45 David Alan Grier Are you good looking?

1:17:47 Caller No.

1:17:48 David Alan Grier Oh, stop it.

1:17:49 David Alan Grier I don't think so.

1:17:50 David Alan Grier Okay. I'll take your advice.

1:17:52 Drew Any speed or drugs or anything like that?

1:17:54 David Alan Grier I'm sorry, what?

1:17:55 Drew Any speed or drugs? Alcohol?

1:17:58 David Alan Grier No.

1:17:58 David Alan Grier I haven't drank alcohol in about five years. I haven't done any kind of drugs and so on.

1:18:03 David Alan Grier Did you have a problem in the past?

1:18:07 David Alan Grier When I was a teenager, I did mess, got pregnant, stopped doing it, started doing coke after I had my kid, and then stopped doing it, and then started drinking heavily, and then had another kid, and then stopped everything.

1:18:27 David Alan Grier Okay. Were you in a program or anything?

1:18:30 David Alan Grier No. It's just for some reason, when I got pregnant with my first child and I quit doing mess, I went to go do it again with my friends afterwards, and it just was completely different. I was like, Oh my God, why did I ever do that?

1:18:41 David Alan Grier And it's good.

1:18:43 David Alan Grier You know, the same thing with the drinking and smoking.

1:18:45 David Alan Grier It's like after having a kid, I was like, why did I do that?

1:18:48 David Alan Grier All right. So what? So you said for six months, you say you've been feeling up and down.

1:18:54 David Alan Grier No, about a year. It's like I'll be really happy.

1:18:56 David Alan Grier And then I'm just like the snap of a finger. I'm in a really bad mood or I'm really irritated easily. I cry for no reason. Like I could just be like getting ready for work and just start bawling.

1:19:06 Drew All right. You're depressed. So what do you want to do about that?

1:19:09 David Alan Grier Well, I wasn't sure if that's what it was or if, you know.

1:19:12 Drew That's what it is.

1:19:13 David Alan Grier Okay.

1:19:13 Drew Now you should be checked to make sure there's not some medical issues sort of precipitating that a thyroid problem, an endocrine problem.

1:19:19 David Alan Grier Yeah. Well, my thyroid was checked like a year ago. So I don't think it's that, but I just wasn't sure. Cause there's just a lot of stuff going on. So I thought maybe it was just, I was stressing or something.

1:19:29 Drew Well, you could be stressing, but that's causing a depression. And so you need to do something about that. And it can be serious. If you particularly have suicidal ideation, that kind of thing.

1:19:36 David Alan Grier Well, she didn't say all that. So don't worry.

1:19:37 Drew Do you ever think about hurting yourself?

1:19:39 David Alan Grier I think about hurting you.

1:19:40 Drew Okay, good. All right. You can work on those stressors, focus on relationships, or maybe get some treatment for this. Marie 27.

1:19:49 David Alan Grier Hello?

1:19:50 Drew Yeah, what's up, Marie?

1:19:54 David Alan Grier Well, I kind of have a complicated question. I have a friend in California that is romantically interested in me, but is willing to just be a friend. And I'm in a kind of somewhat abusive relationship. I don't know if I should label it that way, because it's not like physical.

1:20:15 David Alan Grier Verbal abuse?

1:20:18 David Alan Grier Well, he kind of like...

1:20:22 David Alan Grier Where's my bourbon?

1:20:23 David Alan Grier Power and control stuff.

1:20:26 Drew Yeah, power and control issues. All right, so what's the question, Marie? Here we go.

1:20:29 David Alan Grier Well, when he gets into these moods where he wants to argue a lot, it's kind of distracting for my parenting skills with my daughter.

1:20:44 Drew Well, look, just him being violent and aggressive... His being violent and aggressive in the home...

1:20:48 David Alan Grier But she said it's not physical.

1:20:50 Drew It doesn't matter. Even emotional. It has a profound effect on your child. So why don't you get out of there?

1:20:54 David Alan Grier Yeah, but don't use this guy who sounds like you're not sexually or romantically interested in as a bridge.

1:21:00 Drew Nice guy is going to rescue me.

1:21:01 David Alan Grier Yeah, don't use him as a bridge. Just split.

1:21:04 Drew Okay.

1:21:04 David Alan Grier Right. That's what I would like to do, but it's like because I have a child, I don't really feel like I have a lot of options.

1:21:10 Drew Is the child with him?

1:21:11 David Alan Grier The child is with me always, but we don't...

1:21:13 David Alan Grier No, is he the father of your child?

1:21:16 David Alan Grier The father of my child is the guy that I live with that is argumentative a lot.

1:21:20 Drew So abusive.

1:21:21 David Alan Grier All right, okay. When you say you don't have a lot of options, you mean financial options?

1:21:26 David Alan Grier Exactly, like I don't really have a choice. There are many choices.

1:21:29 David Alan Grier You have a choice. You can plan. You can plan in six months, come up with a plan, get a paper out and get out of there.

1:21:35 Drew Yeah, or else get some treatment for this. I would get him treated.

1:21:39 David Alan Grier Yeah, if he wants to go in there.

1:21:40 Drew But I doubt he's going to change. These guys do not change usually. And the guy that's going to rescue you, do not dig into that hole. That's going to be another mess for a different reason. You're going to sabotage that one anyway. You're going to create chaos there.

1:21:51 David Alan Grier It doesn't really sound like she wants a relationship. She wants to use that guy to get out of the other guy.

1:21:54 Drew She wants the chaos into this and into that.

1:21:56 David Alan Grier She wants the chaos, the cookies, the naughty, naughty stuff. She likes those nut balls that yell at her and pinch her butt. It's chaos is what she wants. What happened to Maya? I can't do it, man. I'm not a magician. I'm trying to save people, man. I can't just go bam.

1:22:16 Drew Right now.

1:22:18 David Alan Grier Buttery, butterfinger. I can't. I can't do it. I'm not a magician. I'm sorry, brother. Let me think about it. Penzoil. Let me think about it. Penzoil. I forgot.

1:22:27 Drew Penzoil.

1:22:28 David Alan Grier What is it? What was the one? It was nutty body. I forget. I don't know. I forgot about it. Next caller.

1:22:35 Drew After the break.

1:22:36 David Alan Grier What is this break? We can't save people now. Just patch me through while Drew goes on break. Line four.

1:22:44 Drew Jennifer.

1:22:44 David Alan Grier Jennifer, sex. Go.

1:22:46 David Alan Grier Hey, guys, what's up?

1:22:48 Drew We're good.

1:22:48 Caller What's going on, ma'am?

1:22:50 David Alan Grier OK, it's about my period. My last regular period was in September.

1:22:55 Caller Boring.

1:22:58 Caller Well, maybe boring to you, but it's a concern to me.

1:23:01 David Alan Grier That's not. That's not.

1:23:02 Drew Your last regular period was when?

1:23:04 David Alan Grier It was in September and I was probably about a week or two late.

1:23:08 Caller So I was like, Boring.

1:23:11 David Alan Grier We're listening. Just please disregard the.

1:23:13 David Alan Grier I went.

1:23:14 David Alan Grier I took four pregnancy tests. I was like, OK, I'm going to go to my doctor.

1:23:17 David Alan Grier I went to my doctor.

1:23:18 David Alan Grier She gave me Provera. I was on Provera for a total of five days.

1:23:23 David Alan Grier I missed one day, so I had to discontinue it.

1:23:27 David Alan Grier And again, I finished out the whole ten day cycle. She says you should get your period within ten days after you finish.

1:23:33 David Alan Grier That was about four weeks ago.

1:23:36 Drew Oh, you haven't had your period yet?

1:23:38 David Alan Grier Pardon me?

1:23:38 Drew You haven't had your period yet?

1:23:40 David Alan Grier No, and when I took the medicines both times, the first time, I started bleeding. And when I stopped taking it, I noticed it would thin out and then at the same time when I started it the second time.

1:23:54 Drew Jennifer, yes, you understand that pretty much all women go through this, okay?

1:23:59 David Alan Grier Do you have low body fat?

1:24:03 Caller No, well, I'm like, I don't know, 18%.

1:24:06 David Alan Grier I'm 145%.

1:24:08 David Alan Grier Okay, I got you.

1:24:08 Drew But here's the deal, Jennifer, pretty much all women go through periods of irregular menses, right?

1:24:13 David Alan Grier Yeah.

1:24:13 Drew Okay, so you're just like everybody else. It's worthwhile going to figure out why this is occurring. You should, did you have blood test done?

1:24:21 David Alan Grier No, I actually, I made another appointment for next week.

1:24:24 Drew All right, so you go back, but basically the basic workup is blood test, check your thyroid, check your hormone levels, and get an ultrasound to see if you have ovarian cysts. It's very simple, check it out. There's a lot of, the whole issue of the proverin getting you bleeding and cycling again, probably it's smarter just to go on the birth control pill for a while and get the cyclings going again and then off. But relax, it's going to be fine. You sound very anxious about this, it's not a big deal. We got to take a break now, Doug, we do.

1:24:49 David Alan Grier No, we don't.

1:24:49 Drew Yes, we do. Next caller.

1:24:50 David Alan Grier Anderson, put it through. Line two.

1:24:54 Caller Yep, Loveline will be back.

1:24:55 Caller Glad to hear it. Loveline will be right back.

1:25:08 Drew Well, now Dag's really sitting up here. I wish we had some cameras rolling during that said break.

1:25:14 Caller Whoo-hoo!

1:25:16 David Alan Grier Dr. Drew, by the way, this is not my last. It's my last night. It's not my last visit, man.

1:25:20 Drew No, no, I know that. When I leave. You and I are getting close in a way that I never imagined.

1:25:26 David Alan Grier Getting to know you, getting to know all about you. All right.

1:25:31 Drew Eric, 17.

1:25:33 Caller Hey, what's up, guys?

1:25:34 Drew Ooh, Eric's not a virgin, see? That's what a not a virgin 7-year-old sounds like. What's up?

1:25:39 Caller Okay, I have a question about blue balls.

1:25:41 Drew Yeah.

1:25:41 Caller I just want to know what causes it or like I mean, I know it hurts and everything, but what is that?

1:25:46 Drew Prostate inflammation, pelvic and vascular, lymphatic and venous. Flat trap. Congestion.

1:25:54 Caller All right.

1:25:55 Drew It's just not everyone gets it, not everyone gets it every time. I never, I never. Some guys never get it, but when it does occur, it's-

1:26:01 David Alan Grier And it's about what?

1:26:03 Drew How often?

1:26:04 David Alan Grier It's like when you get all horned up, your balls turn blue?

1:26:07 Drew No, it's about, it really about, fundamentally probably the prostate being inflamed from all that irritation and buildup there.

1:26:12 David Alan Grier Right, right. It's really not caused by what we've been led to believe.

1:26:17 Drew Which is what? Osima building up?

1:26:18 David Alan Grier You talking, you talking.

1:26:19 Drew Okay. Lucy 20.

1:26:21 Caller Hello?

1:26:22 Drew Yes?

1:26:24 Caller Talk to you.

1:26:25 David Alan Grier I'm in love with you.

1:26:26 Drew You're in love with me?

1:26:27 Caller Oh my God.

1:26:29 Caller Last night when I was having sex with my boyfriend, I said your name right in the middle of it and he slapped me in the face.

1:26:35 Caller Ooh.

1:26:36 Drew I don't like that.

1:26:37 David Alan Grier What? That she said you're...

1:26:38 Drew No, that he slapped her.

1:26:40 David Alan Grier I don't believe this.

1:26:42 Caller You are so hot and I cannot get you off my mind.

1:26:44 Drew Wait, did you say Drew or Dr. Drew?

1:26:47 Caller Dr. Drew.

1:26:48 David Alan Grier Are you really cute?

1:26:51 Caller Duh.

1:26:52 David Alan Grier What do you mean, duh? How many porky broads with pimples call this station? All the time.

1:26:59 David Alan Grier Goth.

1:26:59 David Alan Grier They're all into Goth.

1:27:02 Drew There it is. There it is.

1:27:04 David Alan Grier See, because bogus people, they want you to know.

1:27:07 Drew Yeah, right. They'll yell out. Tiffany, 21.

1:27:11 Caller Hello?

1:27:12 David Alan Grier Hey, Tiffany.

1:27:13 Caller Hi.

1:27:14 David Alan Grier What's going on?

1:27:15 Caller Hey, oh my gosh, I was going to talk about this. I'm almost going to cry.

1:27:19 David Alan Grier No, it's all right.

1:27:21 Caller Well, I've called before and I talked to you about whatever, me being a single mom and not being with my son's dad and not being able to fall in love or whatever. OK, so I got over that. And I joined an adult website and I'm I have gotten a little too into it where I just have I don't know. I'm just like too into men. I don't know. I'm just just sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. And if it's not that, then oral sex or something, you know, it's like I just can't get away from it. And it's starting to scare me now because I will start. I'm starting to do crazy things just to get it. You know, like what? I'm missing work just to go hook up with someone.

1:28:12 David Alan Grier And these are all guys you met on the adult. I mean, oops, the Internet. Yeah. Thank you, Dr. Drew. How long has this been going on with the Internet and stuff?

1:28:24 Caller I joined it in April of this year, but I kind of didn't really, you know, there's just a waste time type of thing.

1:28:32 David Alan Grier Right.

1:28:32 Caller But like until recently, I really, really got into it. And I don't know, like...

1:28:38 David Alan Grier It sounds like it's escalating your behavior.

1:28:40 Drew That's the way addiction goes. Addiction does get worse and worse and worse.

1:28:43 David Alan Grier But do you hear what she said when you called, you said, you know, yeah, well, I used to have a problem. I couldn't fall in love. I'd gotten over that. Now I'm on adult websites.

1:28:52 Caller Yeah. Because I was trying to fill a void of being wanted. And now it's like everybody wants me. And I have all these guys like, oh, you're gorgeous.

1:29:00 Drew And but it's still the same thing. It's guys just want you for sex and it still froze empty and meaningless.

1:29:05 Caller Well, see, now I don't mind. I don't care. I'm just like, whatever.

1:29:07 Drew Right. Because it's, it's a panacea.

1:29:09 David Alan Grier So then why are you calling if you don't care?

1:29:11 Caller Well, see, the thing is, a couple of months back from this website, I had met with the guy and he ended up raping me. I mean, we he was just like, hey, come over for dinner. You know, we're going to have some dinner. And I took my kid with me.

1:29:25 Caller Oh, my God.

1:29:26 Caller This guy ended up having his way with me. And he had his hand down my mouth. So I couldn't because I started to yell because I was scared. And he had his hand down my my holding my tongue down. And the other hand on my neck. It was really scary because my son started crying because he right away knew something was wrong.

1:29:44 David Alan Grier And oh, my God, he was not in the room.

1:29:47 Caller He eventually got into the room. And because he was just screaming and kicking it.

1:29:52 Drew All right, Tiffany, Tiffany, you you you need to get treatment. You're in La Habra. Maybe check in Torrance, the Delamo Treatment Center for sexual addictions. And your child is going to need some help, too, because this could have been killed. This is heavy, heavy.

1:30:06 Caller And after I had that had happened, I stopped. You know, I just Tiffany, Tiffany.

1:30:13 David Alan Grier She started again. You started again, didn't you?

1:30:15 Caller Yeah.

1:30:15 Drew Right. It's like the heroin addicts, heroin addict nearly getting killed.

1:30:18 David Alan Grier Well, hold on. How's it going to get worse than that, Tiffany?

1:30:20 Caller No, no. I'm saying before that it was just kind of whatever, you know, but then after I got raped, then after I got back into it, it's I just kind of asked.

1:30:28 David Alan Grier Did you report this rape? You didn't go to the police or anything?

1:30:31 Caller No, I didn't.

1:30:33 Drew All right, Tiffany, will you please get treatment? You heard my recommendation, right?

1:30:36 David Alan Grier Absolutely.

1:30:37 Drew Delamo Hospital in Torrance. Okay, call there.

1:30:40 David Alan Grier Are you going to do it?

1:30:42 Caller Well, right now I'm in counseling, but it's for domestic violence.

1:30:47 Drew You need a lot more. You need comprehensive treatment and your child's going to need some help and evaluation too, because this is very heavy stuff. The child is going to end up very, very ill and you are going to end up dead. Yep. That's what the role we're on here. And this is sexual addiction. That's consequence, right?

1:31:02 David Alan Grier Yeah, that's for real.

1:31:03 Drew Okay, that's for real.

1:31:04 David Alan Grier I'm just glad to know it, because I know I'm off the hook.

1:31:06 Drew Well, Dag, on that note, we'll just wrap up our week.

1:31:08 David Alan Grier No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we have more time. Anderson, can we call one?

1:31:13 Drew We'll take a little break.

1:31:14 David Alan Grier No, how dare you?

1:31:18 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:31:19 Caller Loveline will be right back.

1:31:35 Drew Well, Daggeroni, this is goodbye, but not farewell.

1:31:38 David Alan Grier No, it's goodbye for now.

1:31:39 Drew Goodbye for now, Monsieur. It's been a pleasure, a great week. I laughed, I cried, I heard some things I never thought I'd hear out of your mouth, but the rest of the country didn't hear them, but someday we'll share with them someday.

1:31:50 David Alan Grier If I get hit by a bus, you can release those tapes.

1:31:53 Drew And man, I got them. I've got transcripts.

1:31:59 David Alan Grier To all my Loveline fans, I love you. I shall, you'll hear from me soon.

1:32:03 Drew Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Best of next week. Then first part of the New Year, Joel. Mikhail, from The Soup, we got Rob Schneider, John Hensley, got Seth Green coming up, got a big month. And I'm sure David Alan Grier will be back to visit us.

1:32:15 David Alan Grier And remember, over this holiday season, do not prolapse your anus.

1:32:20 Drew Bye.

1:32:21 David Alan Grier Alma tryptiline. Alma tryptiline. Did you kill this pigeon? Now don't run away from me. Don't you run away from me.

1:32:31 David Alan Grier Alma tryptiline.

1:32:32 David Alan Grier Did you kill this pigeon?

1:32:41 David Alan Grier Now.

1:32:41 Caller Not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Thursday, December 22, 2005