Episode 1000742173125

0:16 Drew 1-800-L.O.V.E.

0:16 1-9-1.

0:19 Voiceover Love Line starts now.

0:21 Voiceover Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Dr. Drew. The phone number here, 1-800-LOVE-191. We have in the studio, aka David Alan Grier.

0:29 Guest What's cracking, Dr. Drew?

0:30 Drew Tonight, you brought somebody with you.

0:32 Guest I did. But before we get to that, I really want to talk to you, Dr. Drew and the Loveline audience.

0:38 Drew You want Sarah back, don't you?

0:40 Guest No, I want to be serious for a second. I really feel like maybe I overstepped some boundaries last night, and I really want to kind of concentrate tonight and be serious and really help some kids. What am I kidding?

0:53 Guest I almost got it out without laughing.

0:57 Guest Sarah, if you're out there.

0:59 Drew Sarah San Francisco, how does she actually refer to you again?

1:02 Guest She said, you're noxious.

1:04 Drew That's what it was.

1:05 Guest Will you just be quiet?

1:07 Guest I can't hear the guest's questions. And you know what I heard? David, I love you.

1:13 Drew Yes, I know, but she's right. She's your kind of woman. I knew it.

1:17 Guest I'm going to make her love me. But I did bring a very special guest.

1:21 Drew Let her finish. Yeah, put her headphones on.

1:23 Guest She's one of the funniest people I know. We performed together. How did we meet, Chelsea?

1:28 Guest Internet. chocolatesingles.com.

1:30 Drew Oh, nice. Oh, more.

1:32 Guest She was, what was that?

1:34 Drew That's how you found out about the medium sized penis.

1:36 Guest It's called medium size penises.com.

1:38 Guest It's not. It's really not.

1:40 Guest And you click on and David's picture comes up.

1:42 Guest God bless you.

1:43 Guest Along with a couple of other white guys.

1:46 Guest There's a picture of Chelsea and her skivvies and a picture of the Lincoln tunnel with an arrow.

1:57 Drew Now, Chelsea, maybe you may know best from her new book, which is a bestseller, My Horizontal Life, which is a collection of one night stands.

2:04 Guest It's a very serious book. I had to do a lot of research. I'm exhausted. So please show a little respect.

2:11 Guest She's very funny. Very funny comedian.

2:14 Drew Is there a place where you're performing upcoming?

2:17 Guest Yeah, I'm going to be at Carolines next week with David Tell December 27th through the 30th. I'll be at the improv tomorrow night for Pretty Funny Woman.

2:24 Drew Around the country? Yeah.

2:27 Guest Carolines is in New York City. I don't know where.

2:31 Guest She doesn't like to book too far in advance.

2:33 Guest I like to do week to week to week because I never know if I'll be in a blackout or sober.

3:08 Guest I have a question which is every time I'm in a relationship, I'm not sure when is the right time for me to start giving it up. I've had like-

3:20 Drew That's the eternal question.

3:21 Guest Yeah.

3:22 Guest Giving it up?

3:23 Drew Before you have sex.

3:24 Guest How long?

3:24 Guest Right away. I always say right away.

3:26 Drew Thank you.

3:26 Guest God bless you, Chelsea.

3:27 Guest Because you need to find out right away what's going on in that relationship.

3:30 Guest God bless you. Now, let me tell the viewers.

3:34 Drew It depends on the age of the person, yes?

3:36 Guest How old is she?

3:38 Drew Well, she's 24.

3:39 Guest We're talking to her. Hold on. We're talking to a lot of people other than her. I know, but let me tell you something. A woman at your age, you're grown. I concur with Chelsea. Get those legs open as soon as possible. Men will love you for it.

3:54 Guest Also, you don't want any surprises.

3:56 Guest Thank you. Thank you.

3:57 Guest But ultimately, though. Last time I wanted a relationship, I don't want to just be like, I mean, but you want a relationship with somebody who has a small penis or likes to like handcuff you to the bed. You need to find out right away what kind of kinky stuff he's into.

4:10 Drew What's wrong with handcuffs? I've heard a lot of women in their 30s saying, look, if I'm going out with you, that's just, you know, I made my decision.

4:19 Guest Why are you looking at me when you say 30?

4:21 Drew I'm just saying. Women in their 20s often tell me that it's a little more of a, they're a little unclear about what they should or shouldn't be doing. There's more of a game to it, gamesmanship. And guys, of course, and by the way, the priorities are shifting at each decade. And prior to 20, mostly people are trying not to get hurt, not to get harmed by the experience. The 20s, people are trying to women.

4:41 Guest No, prior to the 20s, guys are just trying to have sex by any means.

4:46 Drew Yes, that's true.

4:47 Guest You mean hurt emotionally or hurt physically?

4:49 Drew Both, really. But physically, guys are just trying not to get hurt physically. Would you say?

4:52 Guest Chelsea's from New Jersey. She doesn't, she's like, physically, how can a man hurt me?

4:56 Drew What do you mean?

4:57 Guest Am I like a baseball team?

4:58 Drew STDs. STDs.

4:59 Guest Oh, STDs.

5:00 Drew And pregnancies. Well, that's what condoms are for. That's what they're really concerned with. And then the 20s, they're trying, some of the women team doesn't want to be in the relationship. Men are still going with their sex part. And then the 30s, people start coming together kind of mean.

5:10 Guest Yeah, I think so. I think you have more of a-

5:12 Guest Can I tell you about Chelsea's knockers? They are huge. God given, Dr. Drew.

5:17 Guest That's not true. I got them on eBay.

5:19 Guest Oh, God bless you. She is a special girl. God's own creations.

5:24 Guest They are good. They're my best feature.

5:26 Guest They are fabulous.

5:26 Guest Other than my dynamic personality.

5:29 Drew And the new book, My Horizon Life.

5:32 Guest She gets liquored up. Her mouth gets so foul. It's very attractive.

5:36 Drew Markella, have you had a bad experience with guys in the past?

5:39 Guest Well, yeah. A couple of times. The guys, after we've been going out, and then after I did give it up, they kind of just wanted the sex.

5:46 Drew How long into the relationship was that?

5:49 Guest Well, it would be about three months or so.

5:51 Guest No, that's on the outside. You don't want to wait longer than that.

5:55 Guest It's too long.

5:56 Guest You don't want to wait longer than that.

5:57 Guest Then you're just playing a game. You're like, oh, I'm going to wait to have sex and then you're going to see. See what?

6:02 Drew What would you tell our 16-year-olds? We got lots of those.

6:04 Guest Well, no, 16-year-olds should not be having sex.

6:05 Drew How about 18-year-olds? Okay, I agree. How about 18-year-olds?

6:08 Guest They should be boning.

6:09 Guest 18-year-olds?

6:10 Guest They can vote. They can die for the country. They can spread their eggs.

6:12 Drew I'm asking Chelsea. Yelzaba was talking to me.

6:15 Guest I've been with the guy now for three weeks.

6:16 Guest Everyone should be having sex, Dr. Drew.

6:18 Guest Now or not?

6:20 Drew I couldn't hear Maquil. What's that?

6:21 Guest As a guy I'm with now, I've been with him for like three weeks, and so he's kind of like, you know...

6:26 Guest Well, why don't you get...

6:27 Guest He's like, what? What? Is he pressuring you to have sex?

6:29 Guest Now, now, now, now, now, now, now.

6:31 Guest I can just see it coming.

6:33 Guest Why do you see it coming?

6:34 Guest Because we're like making out and stuff.

6:38 Drew And why don't you ask him to declare his intentions here? Are we having a relationship or not? Why don't you get guys to tell you? Now, they can lie, but at least they get to sort of put their goods down.

6:49 Guest Well, I'm glad Chelsea's here. Now, Chelsea, the one thing that's happened to me repeatedly is a girl is going to say, I really like you. I'm not like all my friends. I'm not just going to jump right into bed with you. Whenever they give me a time period, they say I usually wait a month. It never... We never make it to the month. We never make it to that period.

7:07 Drew Good for them.

7:08 Guest Because we always...

7:09 Drew Because you would have been out right afterwards.

7:11 Guest Time periods are ridiculous. I think anybody who says, I have a time period, you can't put a time on something. If you like somebody and you're attracted to them, you're either going to have sex with them or you're not. You can't say, in three months, we're going to do anal. I mean, you can't make those kinds of decisions.

7:25 Guest In three months, will we do anal?

7:27 Guest Well...

7:28 Drew But you can read your own personality and the history you have. If you have a history of picking up abusive guys, unavailable guys, guys that are abandoned.

7:34 Guest Or in David's history, in David's case, he has a history of picking up abusive women.

7:38 Drew Right, or co-dependent on abusive women. Like Sarah from San Francisco that he fell in love with last night.

7:43 Guest Who love medium-sized penises? Then what? Then what are you supposed to do?

7:48 Guest Why are you going to spread those lies about me, Chelsea?

7:50 Guest You've been spreading them yourself.

7:51 Drew Here's Mary 24.

7:52 Caller I'm just helping you fuel the fire.

7:53 Guest That is the last time I've ever...

7:55 Guest I'm just saying, I'm just repeating what your dog told me.

7:57 Guest Stimulate me with your hands.

7:58 Drew Mary 24.

8:00 Guest Hi.

8:00 Guest Hi, Mary.

8:02 Guest Hi.

8:03 Drew You're on the air. What's going on?

8:04 Guest Hi.

8:05 Guest I was just wondering, I heard that there is a shot that, when you're breastfeeding, that if you get the shot, that it'll dry you up so you won't have any more milk.

8:13 Drew Is that true? I'm not sure about a shot, but there are definitely pills you can do that with. Why do you want to do that?

8:18 Guest Well, right now I have a little boy that is four months and my boobs are so big that they hurt my back really bad.

8:27 Drew And are you still breastfeeding?

8:29 Guest Yes.

8:30 Drew And you want to stop breastfeeding?

8:31 Guest Yeah.

8:32 Guest Is this your first child?

8:34 Guest Yes.

8:36 Drew Talk to your doctor about it. There is a medicine called Bromocryptine that shuts down the prolactin production by the pituitary, if you're interested in that. But I still think you would be discouraged from doing so because breastfeeding is a healthy thing, a good thing. Maybe they can give you some advice on supportive bras and things. See if you can kind of see it through in about six months if you possibly can, okay?

8:52 Guest Well, I've been going back to work and I can barely pump for a bottle after work, so I can breastfeed her and stuff.

9:01 Drew I thought you said you were full.

9:03 Guest I am, but there's barely enough there for a bottle.

9:08 Drew Well then you're already drying it.

9:09 Guest It just gets so big.

9:11 Drew Again, I think you need some, you know, people are getting, there's a lot of misconception about breastfeeding. It's going to be natural and good. Breastfeeding needs a lot of direction and education. Some women can't do it.

9:21 Guest Now, Mary, is your son the only person that's breastfeeding from you?

9:24 Guest Yeah. Wonderful question. She's so insightful, Dr. Drew.

9:28 Drew And sensitive.

9:29 Guest Hey, Dr. Drew, is there a pill that they have to keep you from making stupid comments? Chelsea?

9:36 Drew Josh 15.

9:38 Guest Oh, hey, Dr. Drew. I just want to say I'm a huge fan of Loveline.

9:43 Drew Thank you. You're on with Chelsea Handler and David Angrier.

9:45 Guest What's crackling, man?

9:47 Guest And, Doug, the other day, somebody asked me who my favorite comedians were. I said, you, Sarah Silverman and Dane Cook.

9:54 Drew Wow.

9:55 Guest Wow. Both good friends of mine. That was like the alien, you're gay. Wow.

10:05 Drew Well, yes.

10:05 Guest Anderson is getting very, very creative over there.

10:09 Drew So what's up, Josh?

10:11 Guest My problem is I have this teacher, my geometry teacher. Every time, like he just, it's so inappropriate. He just comes on to me in these weird ways.

10:22 Drew And like, and you are gay, yes?

10:24 Guest Yes. Dr. Drew.

10:25 Drew And what does he say to you exactly? You're gay.

10:31 Guest I said something in your, your caller told, your phone screener told me not to say it on the air.

10:37 Guest Does it start with an F and end with a T?

10:40 Drew What he said to you? He said something like this to you that you couldn't repeat on the radio?

10:43 Guest No, no, no. Like I want to F you.

10:46 Guest He said that?

10:47 Guest Yeah, just like under his breath.

10:49 Drew No way.

10:50 Guest He shouldn't say that unless he's your guidance counselor. That's not cool.

10:53 Guest No. And then every time I try and confront him, like he just denies it and he says, oh, you didn't hear anything or oh, I'm testing you. Or, and every time I deny it, like it's just.

11:07 Guest Why are you, You got to report him.

11:09 Drew Are you a trauma survivor yourself? Are you abused or victimized?

11:12 Guest No, never.

11:13 Drew So why aren't you telling a superior?

11:16 Guest I'm so scared. Like I.

11:18 Drew Of what?

11:18 Guest He's a popular teacher.

11:21 Guest Who cares? You need to tell on him if he's sexually harassing you, unless you like it.

11:26 Drew This is very illegal behavior. It needs to be reported. If you're not, I still have my doubts about the veracity of your call, Josh.

11:34 Guest Yeah, I have my doubts also.

11:35 Guest Why would you doubt it? Why would you doubt it?

11:37 Drew It just, it's not how people react in these kinds of situations.

11:42 Guest Yeah.

11:44 Caller If he takes the F, he might get an A.

11:48 Guest Who is that?

11:49 Drew Or an F in the A.

11:50 Guest Well, whatever. Is Anderson writing a term in his girlfriend?

11:55 Drew All right, Josh, look, this is, you're straight with us about this?

11:59 Guest Whoa, wrong choice of words.

12:02 Drew You know the international rules, right?

12:04 Guest It's bogus. It's bogus.

12:05 Drew Okay, thank you very much.

12:07 Caller Thank you.

12:08 Guest You know what it was?

12:08 Drew Well done. It was the gayness.

12:10 Guest The gayness made it more valid.

12:12 Drew Because people don't, Josh, I got to tell you, people don't, young 15-year-olds don't react like that when a teacher says something like that to them.

12:17 Guest No, I know.

12:19 Drew They are freaked out. And the only, and you should have, if you were going to take this home, you should have said, I was a severe trauma survivor and I was frozen solid when he said this to me. I didn't know what to do because that's how a trauma survivor behaves. Or a normal teenager, gay or otherwise, that has this happen to them, will completely flip out, tell their peers, tell their parents, tell everybody.

12:38 Guest You know what? I got an idea. Instead of trying to train bogus callers of the future, let's try and save some babies.

12:43 Drew All right. Here's Emily 15.

12:45 Caller Yeah. My mom, she doesn't believe I'm bi.

12:50 Drew I don't either. You're 15.

12:53 Caller Yeah. I've been like different abused things when I was little. You were abused? Yeah. I was made like, and I can't go into the long story.

13:03 Guest But that doesn't mean you're bi. I mean you're bi if you have a girlfriend.

13:06 Drew No, people don't choose to be bi. People are sort of rendered bi. Okay, well, I'm bi. Emily, Emily, you mentioned the sexual abuse, right?

13:15 Caller Yeah.

13:15 Drew Okay. Who abused you?

13:17 Caller My stepdad.

13:18 Drew That always messes with people your age in terms of their sexual identity. It creates a lot of confusion. And so while you may have girlfriends and boyfriends now, you're 15. You're trying to sort out a very, very confusing emotional circumstance. Unless you...

13:35 Guest Don't you talk? We're listening.

13:36 Guest We're listening. What is wrong? Keep going.

13:39 Guest We're not in... It's radio. Paint a picture.

13:42 Drew Just was. Emily, so the fact is, this is what happens when people... sexual abuse survivors, they get a lot of confusion about their sexual identity. Yes, you may end up being gay. You may end up being bi. More likely to do one way or the other. Hang on. I need to listen to the tags. Norah, for a second.

14:00 Guest Oh, I'm sorry.

14:01 Drew You know, dad gets sleep apnea.

14:02 Guest I do. Well, Chelsea knows, you know.

14:05 Guest I don't know anything about... other than the pants that you're wearing that look like they belong in a third grader.

14:10 Guest Can we stay focused, honey?

14:12 Guest Yeah, I'm trying to stay focused on Emily and her bisexuality.

14:16 Drew By the way, kids think...

14:17 Guest Are we hitting home?

14:17 Guest Dr. Drew, can you extrapolate on that? Because I would like to know, like... So, people that are sexually abused, what happens? They're confused about their sexuality.

14:24 Drew Very confused. It's one of the ways... A lot of gay... A lot of... There's sort of two ways to be gay. One is, you're born that way. And one is... You're born in New Jersey. And there's also a way to... to not really bisexual, but sexual confusion, which is also sexual abuse. In Emily's case, 15-year-olds do not sit down at the dinner table and declare a major, unless they've got a score to settle with their family. And so the fact that she needs them to know this, this is all BS acting out, and so, Emily, none of this is real. It's all just you needing to act out because of your trauma issues. And I suggest you get those treated, because it's not gonna be a long and chaotic life.

14:59 Guest But you know, at 15, at 15, we've all said things that you true... you think you know everything at 15.

15:07 Drew Did you sit down at dinner with your parents and declare your sexual behavior, your sexual premises, what you think?

15:10 Guest No, my mother caught me with this chick, this girlfriend of mine. I was like, we're not naked.

15:15 Guest Yeah, when I was 15, I was dating like a 22-year-old. When I was 15...

15:20 Guest Not now.

15:21 Guest What was it?

15:22 Drew You? He was white.

15:23 Guest Second hour, second hour.

15:25 Drew And did your parents know about it?

15:27 Guest No. I was obviously very rebellious because I look back at it now and think, wow, he's a sick...

15:33 Drew He's a sick ass, right? That was wrong.

15:35 Guest But at the time, I thought he was going to be my husband.

15:38 Drew But here's the deal. We talk to 15-year-olds all night or with 24-year-olds or 13-year-olds with 19-year-olds and we say, look, when you're 19, when you're 22, when you look at the guy that's dating the 15-year-old, you will wretch.

15:48 Guest Or you look at the 15-year-old that you're dating yourself, you're going to go, what is wrong with me? You know, I know.

15:53 Guest I think when you're 15, 16, 17, you don't have any perspective on life at all. You think that everything you're doing is way beyond and that you'll never regret a thing.

16:04 Guest No one's ever done it before. Done what? Anything. When you're 15, they never do it. And even now, music the same way. Yeah.

16:11 Guest No one's ever experienced any of the things that you're experiencing or the thoughts or feelings. That's what meetings are for. AA, NA, Sex Addicts, Anonymous. So you can find other people like you.

16:23 Drew John, 27.

16:24 Caller Hey, what's up?

16:26 Drew What's up going on? You're on air, John.

16:28 Caller Okay, thanks. Hey, I tested positive for crystal meth.

16:32 Guest You must have done it then.

16:33 Caller No, I've never done it, honestly, in my life.

16:35 Drew Are you an addict?

16:36 Caller Yeah, I am. The only thing I've ever done is opiates, like crystal meth.

16:41 Drew Only thing? You went straight to opiates?

16:43 Caller Well, yeah, I had a back injury and then I got addicted to it when I was addicted for like six years.

16:50 Drew But you were not a heavy drinker first.

16:52 Guest No, I wasn't.

16:53 Guest What are opiates exactly?

16:55 Guest Vitax and stuff that's in your purse.

16:57 Drew Vitax and oxycontin. Just taking the way the doctor prescribed.

17:03 Caller My main question, though, is I've been taking Vantac and like a ton of Motrin because I still have back pain, but I don't take opiates anymore.

17:11 Drew How about cold pills, cold medicine?

17:13 Caller No, you know what? That's what they said too, but nothing else.

17:16 Drew Methamphetamine is not the most reliable screen. You should ask for what's called a GCMS test. It's a confirmatory test that specifically will tell you whether that's methamphetamine or not. If it's not, it's not. You got to ask for a medical review officer to look at the testing too. All right. Let's go to...

17:34 Guest You look fabulous tonight, Chelsea.

17:36 Drew Thank you. Are you talking to Chelsea?

17:37 Guest Yeah. Did you bathe? You didn't wash your hair, did you?

17:41 Drew She anointed. She didn't bathe.

17:42 Guest Well, she usually doesn't.

17:43 Guest I washed my hair like a couple of days ago. That's fabulous. But I did take a shower today.

17:48 Drew Tell us about the book.

17:49 Guest The book is called My Horizontal Life, a collection of one-night stands. And people are like, what's that about? It's like not Watergate, OK? I just had a lot of funny stories about one-night stands and living in LA. And my girlfriend's like, you have to write a book about that. I'm like, a book? I'm like, who's going to read it? They're like, listen, nobody else is hooking up with midgets. Like, you need to write about it the way Chelsea does.

18:10 Guest Yeah, we ones. We ones.

18:11 Guest Yeah.

18:11 Drew And it was midgets or dwarfs.

18:13 Guest Well, he was. Listen, I've hung out with several of them. And I know from personal experience, they like to be either called nugget or midget.

18:21 Guest I believe that I'm a slut.

18:25 Drew Nugget?

18:26 Guest Nugget or tricky little. Can't say it on radio.

18:31 Guest Little people. Little people.

18:32 Drew Little people. But there's dwarfs which have.

18:35 Guest Well, I saw. No, no. He was a midget. Midgets are full size, like full throttle all the way out. Dwarfs have the big heads and the little bodies.

18:41 Drew And the normal size penis.

18:43 Guest Midgets have extra size penises. And this guy was like a waiter at a Mexican restaurant. And I saw him and he was wearing a sombrero with chips and salt. And I was like, OK. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I wasn't going to let that little guy get away.

18:56 Guest She's very open.

18:58 Drew She does what she likes.

19:00 Caller Let's save some babies.

19:01 Guest Sarah.

19:02 Caller She didn't call.

19:02 Guest Sarah didn't call.

19:03 Drew I want to hear more about the book though, David. Chris 22.

19:06 Guest David's not in the book. That's why he doesn't want to talk about it.

19:09 Guest Not yet.

19:10 Guest Hey now, look out.

19:12 Guest Once you go black, you come running back.

19:14 Guest No, once you go black, they don't let you back in temple.

19:18 Guest I'm a Jew, Baruch atat and I.

19:20 Drew Chris.

19:22 Caller Hello?

19:22 Drew Hey, what's up?

19:23 Caller Hey, what's going on?

19:25 Caller I think Chris.

19:27 Caller Hey, I have a question. I'm a little bit afraid. I just found out on Friday that I'm a month pregnant. And I was wondering if that's too soon to terminate. The nurse told me that I could wait a little bit longer, but I-

19:43 Drew Yeah, it's not too soon, is it? What she means is she's trying to tell you soon it's going to be too late. You can wait a little longer if you wish.

19:51 Guest I thought you can't get an abortion until you're six weeks pregnant. That's what they told me the first four times I got one.

19:56 Drew I believe with the pills now, you can do it right away.

20:00 Guest Oh, yeah, the morning after pill you mean?

20:02 Drew No, not the morning after pill, but the actual RU-46.

20:05 Caller Oh, really? Can you tell me that I had to wait until the embryo was big enough, but I didn't think that that was right.

20:10 Guest Well, that's for a DNC. You do have to wait six weeks.

20:14 Drew I don't do abortions.

20:16 Guest But you know who did get an abortion? Jake Gyllenhaal after he filmed Brokeback Mountain, so you should talk to him.

20:22 Guest Okay.

20:23 Drew But Chris, did they discuss with you the medications you can use for abortion?

20:27 Caller She didn't really discuss much with me. I kind of had a feeling that was what was going on, so I made an appointment to get my annual, and it caught her off guard, I think. So she was just kind of like, oh, well, you don't sound like you've decided or made up your mind. You have a couple of weeks to make your decision.

20:41 Drew What about, just for the sake of discussion, what about adoption?

20:47 Caller I really couldn't take the time off work. I mean, I live alone. I support myself. I don't have any family. I don't think that I could survive. The father doesn't want anything to do with it.

20:59 Drew And the gynecologist you're seeing does the abortions herself?

21:02 Caller No, she doesn't. She refers to the abortion family quite a bit.

21:05 Drew Maybe that's why she didn't see how comfortable it was. I believe the pill, I believe it could be done sooner, like in a month, with the medication. But I'm not, I'll look that up during the break, okay, Chris?

21:16 Guest Why would you ask her about adoption?

21:18 Drew Because I think that's a heroic thing to do with these things. I think it's, you know.

21:22 Guest How is that heroic?

21:23 Guest I have a question. Do you guys think it's okay to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

21:28 Guest I'd say yes.

21:29 Drew No, but if you're planning on abortion.

21:30 Guest It's okay to drink.

21:33 Drew Tanya's 29. Tanya?

21:36 Guest Hi. I'm 23 though.

21:38 Drew Oh, good. Well, there you go. What's up?

21:40 Guest Well, good. Thanks.

21:41 Guest How old is she?

21:42 Guest 33. I actually, in Denver, you guys were a day behind. I'm still listening to David Alan Grier on the phone, so I don't know who I have on the phone.

21:52 Drew You have David Alan Grier.

21:53 Guest I'm here, baby. I'm right here.

21:55 Guest Hi, David. I just wanted you guys to know that I love listening to you guys. Thank you. Although I do have big the difference with some of your things about classifying people with issues with chaos. Although I do think chaos breeds chaos.

22:11 Drew You're fat.

22:13 Guest So, that's all. I just wanted to tell David Alan Grier that I think you're a genius.

22:18 Thank you so much.

22:20 Guest Thank you so much. Honey, are you a big girl?

22:24 Guest Yeah, kind of, I guess.

22:26 Guest That's all right. That's all right. There's nothing wrong with big girls, right, Chels?

22:29 Guest No, nothing at all.

22:30 Guest Big girls need love, too?

22:31 Guest Yeah, that's right. Not from me, but from you.

22:33 Guest Right. Well, Tonya, thanks so much for calling.

22:36 Guest Oh, thanks.

22:37 Guest That's it?

22:38 Drew You want something else to say?

22:38 Guest No, no, no.

22:39 Guest You know what they say.

22:40 Guest Unless you guys want to predict anything about my past.

22:43 Guest Well, you put it out there. Dr. Drew, what do you think?

22:47 Drew I don't pick anything really up.

22:48 Guest She said there's nothing wrong with the little chaos.

22:51 Guest You know what they say, if you want your ass to look smaller, date a black guy.

22:54 Guest Really?

22:57 Guest That's good. I never heard that one.

23:00 Guest She's taking your material now.

23:02 Guest It's okay. It's not mine.

23:03 Guest You're never going to believe this if you have your butt to look bigger. Get a guy with black. I said it wrong. Don't go on it. All right. I'm going to say someone fiddled with your bits. That's my Chelsea. You want to chime in on this one?

23:16 Guest No, not at all. I'll let you wrap that up.

23:19 Drew I don't get anything from her. What happened to you?

23:22 Guest Oh, well, believe it or not, I was sexually molested when I was a kid.

23:26 Drew Bingo. It wasn't.

23:28 Guest And I did no therapy. I did it on my own just because, you know, I just surrounded myself with good people when I got older. And I had the classic low self-esteem in high school.

23:40 Guest The clap or the clap what?

23:42 Drew Classic low self-esteem.

23:43 Guest Classic.

23:44 Caller Put the vodka out of your ears.

23:45 Guest You know, and I also went through the stage where I thought people, in order for them to like me, I had to have sex with them. Right. Whenever you do anybody like that, I like, ah, that was me. But not anymore.

23:58 Guest Well, it sounds like you're much healthier now. Tanya, go and have sex immediately with someone.

24:05 Guest I can't.

24:06 Guest I hear you. That was a test you passed. You're healthy.

24:09 Drew Did you get any help with this? Any help along the way at all?

24:12 Guest She did a homestuck.

24:14 Guest It was strictly just me. I just wanted to make my life better.

24:20 Guest How's that working out?

24:21 Guest Well, I think it can be done, but you have to really, really want to.

24:25 Guest Did you read books? Anything?

24:27 Guest No.

24:27 Guest Watch a lot of Oprah.

24:28 Guest Did you just stop talking to black people?

24:30 Guest Believe it or not, I did. And I really absorbed myself with people who, you know, like just stories from newspapers, anything that would just help me identify with what I thought was wrong.

24:44 Drew You said you were overweight, is that true?

24:46 Guest Uh-huh.

24:47 Drew Were you overweight back when you were sexually active?

24:50 Guest Back in high school, I was, I'm always been 5'9, but I weighed 160 pounds.

24:55 Drew And what do you weigh now?

24:56 Guest Um, 200.

24:59 Drew Don't you think perhaps you've done that to kind of push people away? And so you've sort of created...

25:03 Guest I did it for a while. I went up to 265 when I was married. Um, but I felt very secure when I was married and he was a very great guy.

25:11 Guest Isn't that your fault?

25:12 Guest Why aren't you, why aren't you, why aren't you still married if you're so great?

25:15 Guest Uh, I think we just grew apart. I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship, so...

25:21 Drew Oh, nothing wrong with relationships? You got a divorce?

25:24 Guest Yeah, we're in the process. We're in the process.

25:27 Drew Whoops, sorry.

25:28 Guest What happened, Dr. Drew?

25:30 Drew Dagg, Dagg reached over and put her on hold.

25:32 Guest I did not. Enough with the big girls.

25:34 Caller We're trying to save people.

25:36 Drew I'm glad you feel better.

25:39 Caller They grew apart?

25:40 Guest Yeah, tell me about it. Honey, I can't reach you to kiss you anymore.

25:44 Guest Nothing wrong with our relationship, so we decided to get a divorce.

25:48 Drew Right, it's just...

25:49 Guest Things are going okay, so...

25:51 Drew I'm glad she's feeling better anyway. That's important.

25:53 Guest Yeah, that is the important thing.

25:54 Guest She's obviously been to Jamba Juice today.

25:57 Guest I thought she said she was listening to Yesterday's Show or something. She was.

26:00 Drew We were talking about chaos and the troublemaker rates. Remember the guy that had the treesome and the sociopath at the borderline?

26:05 Guest Of course she was abused, because she goes, there's nothing wrong with a little chaos.

26:08 Drew I know. Sometimes it can be good. I knew she had some issues, but I didn't really go...

26:11 Guest And she had that crazy girl laugh like...

26:14 Drew Yeah, come on. We're going to take a break. We've got David Alan Grier and Chelsea Handler in the studio with us tonight, and we'll be right back.

26:19 Guest Yo!

26:22 Love Line will be right back.

26:53 Drew I said, what is wrong with Macy Gray? What is it? Isn't it hissy?

26:58 Guest I don't know. I don't know.

27:02 Drew Say that again.

27:03 Guest Having big breasts is great.

27:05 Guest Oh my God, my boyfriend makes me come too much.

27:08 Guest Oh, my boyfriend just wants to eat my coochie. Oh, every girl is a hoe at some point.

27:14 Guest Yeah.

27:15 Guest Is this satellite? Are you allowed to say coochie?

27:17 Guest That's right. You are.

27:19 Guest You can't you just can't say gash, right?

27:21 Guest I do. I do.

27:23 Caller You're a cake hole.

27:24 Drew Intelligent Design.

27:26 Guest Intelligent Design was voted out of the schools in, I forget what state, Pennsylvania. The judge ruled on it.

27:33 Drew However, I was disturbed to see that 64 percent of Americans believe in that.

27:38 Guest No, not only that, only half of America.

27:39 Drew And I thought we need to improve our educational system.

27:42 Guest Yeah, it's getting worse. Only half the people in the world know that the earth revolves around the sun and it takes a year. 18 percent of college freshmen know who Martin Luther King Jr. is.

27:53 Drew 18 percent?

27:54 Guest 18 percent.

27:56 Guest Only 15 percent know who Sonny and Sheryl are.

27:58 Guest And it's not Sonny Liston, as you asked me several times.

28:01 Drew By the way, I looked up the earliest you can have an abortion with the medications and it's definitely before seven weeks. And we're trying to look at the very, I think it's up to four weeks.

28:09 Guest But DNC, are you talking about?

28:10 Drew No, no, that's eight weeks. I'm talking about Mifflpristone was already four to six.

28:14 Guest I'm just fondly remembering all the abortions I had in high school.

28:16 Guest Well, let me ask you something. If you're in Washington, DNC, can you get it done earlier there? Is that what you're saying, Chelsea?

28:23 Guest If you're a Democrat.

28:24 Guest Ah, very good.

28:26 Drew Speaking of Chelsea, here's Jeff 29.

28:27 Guest Jeff.

28:29 Guest Hi, this is Jeff. I'm 31.

28:31 Guest What's everybody lying on the phone now?

28:33 Guest When were you 29, Jeff?

28:33 Drew Screeners, screeners. Will you please coach these callers? If you're going to have them lie about their age, make sure they get the lie.

28:39 Guest Right.

28:39 Guest All right, listen, I'm calling me because Chelsea makes Adam seem like a lightweight. And I was wondering if she could be on there constantly.

28:48 Guest I know, they need to spice it up a little, right? We need to be talking hard, cold facts about what's really happening.

28:54 Guest Yeah, I'm driving a cab and for the last half hour, everybody that's gotten in my cab has loved you.

28:59 Guest So I think I love you.

29:00 Guest No offense to Dag, though. I think you're great, too.

29:03 Drew Well, go pick up her book, My Horizontal Life.

29:06 Guest Of course I will.

29:08 Guest Hopefully you'll be in the next one. If you play your cards right.

29:12 Guest All right.

29:13 Guest Cab driver's trophy.

29:14 Guest Oh yeah. Like anybody who can drive sober or drunk.

29:17 Drew Rachel, 21. Rachel, turn your turn your radio down.

29:23 Guest Oh my God. I think she's been killed.

29:24 Guest Yeah.

29:26 Drew Way to hear the call.

29:26 Guest She's probably at the drive-thru at Jack in the Box. And she's like, hold on. One chicken fajita peanut with fries. Hold the wire.

29:34 Guest Rachel. Can you repeat your questions? Hey, what's up?

29:38 Guest Hey, well, I have a question.

29:42 Guest First of all, can you turn your radio up louder?

29:45 Guest No, I turned it down.

29:47 Drew Thank you.

29:47 Guest Wow.

29:48 Guest OK. Well, there's this guy that I'm with, and he just totally has an ass fetish. And seriously, like, every time we have sex, he wants to have anal sex, or he tries it. And I tell him, no, he does listen. But I don't know if I'm, like, going to turn him off if I keep if I don't, like, give in to him. I've given to him once. But it's just, you know, and sometimes when he does it, too, I have to take my orgasms just to kind of, like, please myself off, too, because.

30:20 Guest OK, let me cut you off right here. The difference between a 21 year old and a 31 year old is that you will never ever have to think about what a man wants. You will do what you want. If you don't ever want to have anal sex, then don't ever have anal sex. Period.

30:34 Guest But then again, if you do when you're 31, you're going to have it, right, Chelsea?

30:38 Guest Once you start to really like it around 26 or 27, then things are going to really start. But honestly, if you're not turned on by anal sex, you're not turned on. Who cares what he thinks? Screw him. There's a million guys out there that are going to date you and be perfectly happy to have regular sex with you.

30:54 Drew No, Rachel. Rachel, why are you even thinking about doing something that's hurtful and harmful that you don't want to do?

30:59 Guest Rachel, did you that you said you did it? First, you said once, and it sounds like more than once. Did you ever enjoy it in the times that you tried it?

31:08 Guest Yes, once.

31:10 Guest So, then why wouldn't you want to have it again? If you really enjoyed it, then-

31:14 Guest It is painful. When we did it, it was easy when we first did it. Now, when he tries to do it again, it really hurts. I just try to pull him away. It's painful.

31:28 Guest Did you tell him that?

31:30 Guest I tell him, and he respects that. And he, you know, continues doing, you know, the normal sex routine. And he gets off on that too. So, it's not like, you know, his- the whole anal thing is like his number one thing. But it's a big fetish with him. And-

31:45 Guest He wants it because you're not supposed to do it. That's why.

31:48 Drew Hey, tell him, Liz, it's not gonna happen.

31:51 Guest Stop.

31:52 Drew And, Rachel, you, not only will you at 31 not even be considering this, but even now you need to be able to step up and go, really? You're gonna do this every time? Well, then we're not having sex.

32:02 Guest That's it.

32:03 Drew Very simple. Very simple. You have all the cards.

32:05 Guest Exactly.

32:06 Drew Got nothing.

32:06 Guest Did you ever try that, Chelsea?

32:08 Guest Yeah, I've tried it and I didn't like it. And now I don't-

32:11 Guest Not anal sex.

32:12 Guest You mean regular sex? I tried it once. And I was just so used to anal, I couldn't get used to it.

32:17 Guest But didn't you tell me that you told guys that when they wanted oral sex you said, no, it's painful. I don't enjoy that. Same excuse.

32:25 Drew Jaw lock's open. This is Andrew 25.

32:27 Guest You're hurting me.

32:29 Drew Andrew.

32:29 Guest Yes, Dr. Drew?

32:31 Drew Yes sir, what's up?

32:32 Guest Yeah, when I was like 17, I started taking growth hormone, genitropin. And because I was underdeveloped and I hadn't gone through puberty yet. And I've since, you know, gone.

32:49 Drew Well, now wait a minute. Genitropin is not growth hormone.

32:51 Guest Genitropin. G-E-N-O-T-R-O-P-A.

32:56 Drew Let me look that up. See, that's a trade name for something. We'll look it up.

32:59 Guest Well, it was a long time ago.

33:01 Drew All right, we'll look it up.

33:03 Guest All right, and I was also taking testosterone shots.

33:06 Drew Right, this all sounds like hormone therapy, like not growth hormone, but male sex hormone therapy.

33:11 Guest Because you didn't hit puberty when you thought you were supposed to?

33:14 Guest Yeah, and that was, I saw an endocrinologist, and I was really very underdeveloped. I was short and overweight.

33:23 Drew Did you have an abnormality of your smell, sense of smell also? I mean, did you have trouble smelling things? Did they ask you about that?

33:31 Guest I don't remember that.

33:32 Drew It's something called Kalman's, Kalman's Syndrome.

33:35 Guest That question really sticks.

33:36 Drew Something called Kalman's Syndrome, which is hypogonadism and a deficiency in scent in olfactory function.

33:43 Guest Well, I think if he had those problems he's talking about, I think the smell was the least of his worries.

33:47 Drew No, but it's a specific medical issue, a big medical problem.

33:50 Guest Where are you from, man?

33:51 Guest I'm from Kentucky. Oh. But the whole-

33:54 Guest Now, did you hit puberty, like, did you have pubic hair and all those other things, but you just didn't grow a penis?

33:59 Guest No, I didn't.

34:00 Drew Nothing, he didn't have puberty. So you had delayed puberty.

34:02 Guest Oh, okay.

34:02 Guest Is everything fine now?

34:04 Guest But eventually, I did, and I'm still am, but I was seeing a psychiatrist and I didn't find out until much later in the last year that he had diagnosed me with pseudo-morphidetic ambiguous genitalia.

34:25 Drew At what age?

34:26 Guest Um, I believe that was about that time.

34:31 Drew Okay.

34:31 Caller Why would they say pseudo?

34:32 Guest What does that mean? That means that he's... Okay.

34:36 Drew Well, he used several different words simultaneously. It's pseudo. And pseudo-hematroditic ambiguous genitalia?

34:41 Guest Yes.

34:42 Drew So it's really just ambiguous genitalia. Alright, and so...

34:45 Guest Does it look alright down there to you?

34:47 Guest Obviously not.

34:50 Guest I don't think so, because I don't know if... I still can't grow a full beard. And I mean, I say I'm very tall. And I'm 6'5. You know, I have all the stereotypic, you know, big feet.

35:06 Guest Right. And what about your penis? Is it growing?

35:09 Guest Chelsea, please.

35:10 Guest No, I'm asking. I want to know.

35:12 Guest I haven't been comfortable enough to talk about this, you know, actual doctors. Right now, I'm on medication. It has nothing to do with it. And this is part of, like, one of my biggest major problems. See? And I haven't really been in any relationships with a female. I mean, I went on very few dates. But, you know, I was having trouble all through high school with, you know, being confident, of course. And I'm still having that problem. I mean, I believe a great personality, but I don't feel like I could, please.

35:49 Guest Are you able to have sex?

35:51 Guest I haven't yet.

35:53 Drew Do you have orgasms?

35:54 Guest Yes.

35:55 Drew Do you ejaculate?

35:57 Guest Yes.

35:58 Guest Is there, like, have you ever thought about trying to join a support group of other individuals that have your same condition?

36:05 Guest I really, I don't, I've never even talked to my therapist.

36:08 Guest Is there such a support group, Dr. Drew?

36:11 Guest Can I just say something from a woman that's had sex with plenty of men? I've had sex with a lot of guys that have small penises, that have big penises, and it really has nothing to do with the size of your penis, which I thought when I was a lot younger that it had everything to do with the size of your penis.

36:24 Guest In your thirties, you're saying.

36:26 Guest Shut up, you big black loser. But can I honestly tell you, you need to gain the confidence to know that you can satisfy women in many other ways, and it has very little to do with your penis. And that is very like, once you gain that confidence and once you know that you can please a woman in other ways, that is like a secondary factor.

36:44 Drew Are you talking about psychological?

36:45 Guest But he said oral sex hurts him. What if oral sex hurts him, Chelsea? What if it's painful to him? It's never going to happen.

36:52 Guest Forget it.

36:53 Guest Okay, this is, I guess, the main point. I mean, I've seen those, you know, those commercial ads, you know, for, you know, you can increase your size and everything.

37:04 Drew Yeah.

37:05 Guest I mean, I don't get on the internet and...

37:07 Guest No, but it's not about your size. It's about, I mean, if you're attracted to a woman and you're interested in her, it's not just about like penetration. It's about a whole other bevy of options. You can do a million things that has a...

37:18 Guest Oh my God. When's the last time you were in a relationship like that, big mouth?

37:21 Guest Like two weeks ago with one of my uncles. We're serious.

37:24 Drew Dr. Drew, what medication are you on right now?

37:27 Guest Cymbalta.

37:28 Drew For depression?

37:29 Guest Yeah, it's for, you know...

37:30 Guest Can they surgically, can they surgically do something?

37:32 Drew Oh yeah, they can enlarge penis surgically. They basically, I've scrubbed in on those surgeries. They basically, they disconnect the tendons.

37:38 Guest That's okay, all right.

37:38 Drew Let me tell you what they do.

37:39 Guest I don't really need to know, Dr. Drew.

37:40 Drew They disconnect the tendon, pull it forward about an inch, then they pull the skin down and wrap essentially a pop tart around the outside of the penis, give it another inch and a half of girth.

37:50 Guest But I'm telling you right now, I'm dating somebody that doesn't have a huge penis and I'm perfectly satisfied.

37:54 Guest Okay, what would you call not huge?

37:56 Guest Like your size.

37:57 Guest What, nine inches?

38:00 Guest That's like the size of your forearm.

38:01 Guest Shut up.

38:02 Guest What I was wondering is like, is there like, should I go to my endocrinologist again and see my-

38:08 Drew Yes, go to endocrinologist to have a discussion with this. They're used to doing it, it's not a big deal. It sounds like you also maybe want to make sure you don't have what's called Marfan syndrome. Have they ever talked about that?

38:18 Guest No.

38:19 Drew Okay, it's another question. So, Marfan syndrome, why the pseudo hermaphroditum? And if now you don't sound like you have ambiguous genitalia anymore, you have sexual functioning, you're off hormones, right?

38:29 Guest Yeah, I've been off it for a while. I just didn't know like if there's like, if I can still be growing at all.

38:35 Drew I don't know. I don't think so. But I would again, talk to your endocrinologist and talk to about whether or not, we haven't really examined, you don't know really where you're at right now, whether or not any surgical interventions would be appropriate. So yeah, there's, you know, what people appreciate, there's a lot of, you know, Marcus, yeah, he has small penis, yeah. He's an engineer here.

38:54 Guest I just want to make sure that everybody knows.

38:55 Drew What does that mean?

38:56 Guest He goes, he's an engineer. I think it's coming.

38:58 Guest I just want everyone to know that our listeners, that the guy answering the phones also has a hugely small penis. And he's not an endocrinologist or hasn't seen one.

39:09 Caller The guy in here is really pissed off now. Thanks a lot.

39:13 Drew That's not the screeners are down the streetways. But the fact is there are, people don't realize this, there are lots of medical syndromes that cause a variety of anatomical and neuropsychological.

39:24 Guest I'm just saying like a scalpel penis, how small are we talking about? Exactly. For a doctor to say you have whatever, pseudo hermaphroditic tinnitus, how small is that? That's really, that's like a blackhead.

39:40 Drew I mean you have difficulty distinguishing a vagina from penis.

39:43 Guest There you go. You still fine with that, Chelsea?

39:45 Caller Little miss everybody's perfect.

39:47 Guest Oh, silence from Flappy Lipperton over here.

39:50 Drew But again, that was before he received the testosterone and who knows where we are now.

39:54 Guest I thought what you were saying was a term for the people that go to Disneyland too many times a year.

39:58 Drew No, it's people for they can't tell whether they have a giant or a penis.

40:01 Guest Yeah, yeah. You still fine with that? No, well, yeah, she's chewing on her goldfish over here.

40:06 Drew Okay, it's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Yes, LOVE-191. I want you two to go out and fight in the hall.

40:11 Guest I have had it with you, Chelsea.

40:13 Drew Yeah, on the hall, both of you.

40:14 Caller Back up!

40:15 Drew Time out.

40:15 Guest Start answering those calls like a human being.

40:18 Drew We'll be right back.

40:26 Guest Loveline will be right back.

40:44 Drew That's right, Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, Chelsea Handler, David Alan Grier, Chelsea's book, My Horizontal Life.

40:52 Guest 101 nightstands.

40:54 Caller Let's take a caller, Drew dog.

40:58 Drew Here is, let's see here. Sandra, 19.

41:02 Guest Sandra.

41:05 Drew Caller who goes by Sandra. And one, you're going to call us, Sandra, you're going to fess up?

41:18 Guest Chelsea, where are you going for Christmas?

41:19 Drew This is Chris, 28.

41:21 Guest Chris?

41:22 Guest Yeah, hi.

41:23 Guest Iraq.

41:24 Drew Iraq, interesting. What's up, Chris?

41:26 Guest I'm calling because I'm taking the Spur Dog double coat, a thousand milligrams, and Luxapro, because I had bipolar pretty badly. And in the last four months, I've gained like 20 pounds and my hair is falling out by the fistful.

41:41 Guest I'm losing like five to six fistfuls of hair where my hair is mostly thinner.

41:45 Guest And I'm really considering just, I don't know if it's worth taking all these medicines because I have...

41:49 Drew Well, first of all, there are a couple of things. The weight gain is probably the Respiradol. The hair loss is probably the depakote. And stopping your depakote could allow a potentially life-threatening illness to spiral out of control. So, whatever you do, do not do it by yourself.

42:05 Guest Is there anything they can give me that's going to stop... The weight gain is making me feel like absolute... I mean, I already have bad enough body image issues. I've already been suicidal.

42:13 Drew Sometimes they'll add... Sometimes they can add Topamax to this. And Topamax tends to be a good inorectic agent, so that tends to help. And maybe they can switch to maybe other mood-stabilizing medication. And maybe the Respiradol isn't so important right now. They can use it to help mouths.

42:27 Guest Did they tell you that you could possibly lose your hair?

42:31 Drew That's a pretty rare compliment.

42:32 Guest I read it, but when I was... I was hospitalized because I had a breakdown and I almost hurt my kids and stuff.

42:40 Drew Right, so listen, this is a life... Her kid's life is in danger, her life in danger. Talk about some hair loss. Talk about some hair loss, and that's okay. It's something to pay attention to.

42:49 Guest You weren't really gay on that. Didn't you tell Chelsea?

42:51 Drew I did.

42:52 Guest No, no, it's true. I think hair loss and weight gain is a very minor issue when you're dealing with bigger issues.

42:57 Drew Right, it's important. We don't mean to ignore it because it affects your self-esteem.

43:01 Guest I know it's upsetting. I'm a woman. If I gain five pounds, I freak out. But if you're thinking about the other options...

43:06 Guest I never noticed that when your butt blew up, you didn't really seem that upset about it.

43:09 Guest Because you're black.

43:10 Drew This is Lisa. Lisa, 18. I like to g-dunk-a-dunk.

43:12 Guest I do.

43:12 Caller Lisa?

43:13 Drew Hey, what's up?

43:14 Guest Hey, yeah, I'm calling in response to a call from last night, Joe.

43:18 Drew Go ahead, go.

43:18 Caller What's up?

43:19 Drew You're on the air. Let's go.

43:20 Guest I heard that his ex-girlfriend was a sex addict now.

43:23 Drew Yeah.

43:23 Guest Uh-huh.

43:24 Guest David's ex-girlfriend?

43:25 Guest Same thing now.

43:26 Guest She was a sex addict while we were going on.

43:28 Drew Well, she turned out to have been a sexual abuse survivor and she had been an addict as other things before and whatever. I mean, she sort of spiraled out of control there.

43:36 Guest What was your response?

43:38 Guest Well, I just broke up with my boyfriend in August and now I'm like, I've been with like 10 guys since then and it's only been a few months and it's like compulsion. Like, I don't know.

43:51 Drew Right.

43:52 Guest You're trying to wash that man out of your hair, right? Your pubic hair.

43:56 Guest I mean, like he was like my first boyfriend and he's like seven years older than me.

44:01 Drew Oh, my God.

44:02 Guest Well, how old are you?

44:03 Drew 18. How old were you when that all started?

44:07 Guest 17.

44:09 Drew 17 and 24. That's not so bad. That's not so bad.

44:11 Guest But like my family, I mean, he came to Thanksgiving. My family, like, you know, it wasn't like behind, like anyone's back or anything. It was pretty much out there and I don't know.

44:22 Guest But what was your response? You seem to think that you seem to think that maybe that's not that aberrant Herbert behavior or what?

44:30 Guest I think the thing with women is what would be making me do that? Like, I don't know.

44:33 Guest Well, I think once you wait, did you wait and have sex with this guy? Like, was this the first guy you had sex with?

44:38 Guest No, I had had sex with two other people before him.

44:42 Drew And had you been sexually abused as a child?

44:44 Guest No.

44:45 Drew And have you been addicted to anything else?

44:48 Guest Even diet coke?

44:49 Guest The pot. The pot.

44:52 Drew Was the breakup traumatic for you?

44:55 Guest Not really. Like, I mean, it's a long-distance relationship, kind of. Like, for a half-hour waste trip, you live, like, you're like 80 miles away, and then you move to, like, being about 50 miles away.

45:07 Drew But you're distressed by your behavior?

45:09 Guest You sound distressed.

45:10 Drew Yeah. Is that true?

45:11 Guest Well, I'm not, like, distressed. I'm just kind of, like, slightly concerned.

45:17 Drew Stop it. Yeah, stop.

45:18 Guest I'm, like, careful and stuff, but I'm just, like...

45:21 Guest You should be concerned. If you're concerned, that's a big red flag for you to say, okay, let me, like, you know, curb my behavior.

45:26 Drew Yeah, if you're not an addict, you're not compulsive. You don't, you weren't a, you weren't a trauma.

45:30 Guest A red flag is when you write a book about one night stand.

45:32 Drew You want to try that. That's a big red flag.

45:34 Guest And that is why I love you so much.

45:35 Drew Trauma survivor.

45:36 Guest That's why I'm not attracted to you at all.

45:38 Drew If there are reasons that you, there are reasons that you shouldn't be able to control your behavior. So you're looking at it now, maybe just kind of, you're acting out for a while, you're distressed, you're depressed, is how you're managing it. You're stepping back now, looking at it. Go ahead and change it. That's fine.

45:50 Guest Well, let me ask you one last question. Do you feel like you're taping down now or what?

45:55 Drew We don't have time to talk to her.

45:56 Guest I can talk to her. You hear me.

45:57 Drew You talk to her. She's going to telepathically talk to you during the break. It's Loveline 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1. We'll be right back.

46:04 Caller Right when I get going, you cut me off at the knees.

46:24 Drew Loveline phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191- Chelsea is going to say good night to us tonight. Thank you for letting David drag you in here.

46:30 Guest Chelsea, thank you so much.

46:31 Guest Thanks for having me, I had a good time.

46:33 Drew I apologize for his behavior.

46:34 Guest I apologize.

46:35 Drew But you should know by now, I mean, you've known him for quite some time.

46:37 Guest Yeah, no, no, I apologize for him.

46:39 Drew He wasn't properly medicated before he got here tonight.

46:41 Guest No, I'll see you later, I'll be home late. He's also got lots of issues, I mean, look what he's wearing.

46:45 Drew Green, I don't like it.

46:46 Guest You're wearing a scarf, you're wearing, well, vodka, as always, and what else? Brown and black, they don't go together. Chelsea, have a wonderful time.

46:54 Drew Where can we look for you?

46:56 Guest I'm on this night show all the time as a correspondent, I'm on Girls Behaving Badly, which is now syndicated, you can see me on there, and I'm on E every week on their countdown shows in VH1.

47:04 Guest And you have a new what?

47:06 Guest Vagina.

47:06 Drew The new Vagina.

47:08 Guest You got yours reconditioned. Denteen Fire Ice.

47:10 Guest You got yours reconditioned, didn't you?

47:12 Guest Yeah, I got a, what's it called, a hot oil treatment.

47:16 Guest Okay.

47:17 Guest Black people don't get that, they get their hair relaxed.

47:19 Guest Well, I'm talking about your cooter, okay.

47:22 Guest I want everybody to know that I'm sitting next to a 55-year-old comedian named David Alan Grier who's dressed like a 14-year-old.

47:27 Guest Yes, that's how I get the hug.

47:28 Guest Good night.

47:30 Guest Bye, honey. Good luck with Menopause.

47:32 Drew Hope to see you again.

47:33 Guest Bye. I'll be home safe. I love you too, darling.

47:35 Drew How come you guys don't kill each other? Good night.

47:37 Guest Because it's my girl.

47:39 Drew Nice to meet you. I'm surprised you guys haven't murdered one another.

47:41 Guest You should see us on the road together. It's a long ride.

47:43 Drew Oh my God.

47:44 Guest That's so frightening.

47:46 Guest We went to actually pitch the show of us together as two aging porn stars. Bye. Surprisingly, no one bought it. I thought it was a funny idea.

47:57 Drew Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah.

47:59 Caller They were like, well, it never went anywhere.

48:01 Guest A little too on the mark.

48:03 Oh, too close.

48:04 Caller Yeah.

48:05 Guest A little too close. Yeah. It was a rocky road that pitch.

48:09 Drew Oh my God.

48:10 Guest Why don't you guys step out of the room? We'll talk about it. You can go home. We'll handle this one.

48:15 Drew All right. Should we get to ask the calls? Help babies?

48:17 Guest Absolutely. Let's save some babies.

48:19 Drew Here we go. It's Carmen23.

48:22 Guest Hi.

48:22 Drew Hi, Carmen.

48:23 Guest Hi. I actually just had a quick question. I recently went to my doctor and they said that I had BV, and she gave me a prescription for metrodil.

48:35 Drew So you had bacterial vaginosis. Okay.

48:39 Guest I want to know, is there no alternative medicine to that?

48:43 Drew Not really. I mean, I guess you could take an over-the-counter triple sulfate cream. I forget what it's called. Top of my head may come to me in a minute. But that is not nearly as effective as metrodil. And other than the metrodil cream, you have to take systemic antibiotics, oral antibiotics.

48:58 Guest Oh, see, she only gave me...

49:00 Drew I know. She gave you the right treatment. You don't want to take the pills if you can avoid it.

49:06 Guest Why?

49:06 Guest What do they do to you?

49:07 Drew It's antibiotics. You don't want the body... The cream just works in the vagina and stays in the vagina. You don't want to take antibiotics to go into your entire system if you don't have to.

49:17 Guest Then when the coming plague comes, you'll be immune to antibiotics.

49:21 Drew The Gynelotrimin is the other cream I'm talking about, but that does not work as well as the monistat. Why are you resistant to the monistat? Or the metrogel?

49:29 Guest Well, because I had it before, and I just, well, I was thinking because I got it again that it wasn't that effective.

49:37 Drew No, it's effective. It's the right treatment. My goodness.

49:40 Guest How do you get vaginitis?

49:42 Drew It's back to probably getting it from a boyfriend.

49:44 Guest Right. Does he have to be treated too?

49:46 Drew Sometimes, depending on what the cause is. Sometimes it's just, sometimes it's actually just stuff getting up from the tushy area.

49:52 Caller Really? The tushy area?

49:54 Drew The tushy, not the tershy area, the tushy area, the bad bacteria live there and get into the good area. The good area.

50:01 Guest Why is that the bad area?

50:02 Guest That's why guys want to go there, because it's bad. It's bad.

50:05 Drew You're on to it.

50:06 Guest It's forbidden.

50:08 Drew This is John 17, which by the way, hang on a second John, hold on. Maybe, I can't, I'm asking you like you're the oracle here. Yes. I don't want to talk bells above you. I want to talk to David. The sex and the bad thing.

50:23 Guest What are you talking about? Anal sex?

50:24 Drew Just, you know, sex. What is it the guys hook up about sexuality with forbiddenness? Being bad.

50:31 Guest Well, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what a lot of it is. I'll tell you what a lot of it is. A lot of it's in a lot of porn.

50:35 Drew Is it power and control?

50:37 Guest No, it's in a lot of porn.

50:39 Drew And they get exposed to it early and that sort of gets a blaze in your head.

50:42 Guest And much more than in say 15, 20 years ago. There's a lot of it in porn and that's what they want to do. But as a really young guy in college, I dated a girl that really loved it and she introduced it to me. Now every woman, I say, I'll reiterate, to be a good lover you have to know and learn what turns your partner on.

51:06 Drew That person.

51:06 Guest Right. What turns your partner on.

51:08 Drew The same, we've talked a couple of nights ago to the girl that kept messing with the guy's bunghole because she had a boyfriend that liked her and all the other guys are like, stop.

51:15 Guest She's not listening. Just the same as a girl who hates performing oral sex on a guy, well that's not gonna work for me. Maybe it's fine, but it takes all types. I've been with girls who weren't really into it, but they made up for it in other ways. They were into other things. It's never gonna be the total porn package.

51:36 Drew I do think we're gonna find one day that the visual material that guys are exposed to during certain critical periods of development becomes sort of locked in their head. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're exposed to the heavy duty porn at the age of 14, 15. It's like, oh, that's it. That's woman. That's it.

51:51 Guest Yeah, but you know what? I know a lot of guys, most guys who aren't, they wanna try it. They wanna experiment with it, but I don't know a lot of my male friends that are fixated and only into that. Of course, they're not 15 years old or 18 years old. And I think a lot of these guys will transition after they pound a little ass.

52:10 Drew Teresa, 21.

52:12 Guest Hi, I have a question.

52:15 Guest My boyfriend wants me to have a threesome with his co-worker.

52:19 Drew A male?

52:20 Guest A female.

52:23 Guest We don't have any kids or anything like that, and I was just wondering if it would be okay just to experiment or if it was gonna totally ruin our relationship.

52:31 Drew It's gonna ruin your relationship, but you don't seem to care, so whatever.

52:34 Guest Okay, actually, this is a bogus call. Can I ask you a question about drugs, Dr. Drew?

52:38 Drew Yeah, go ahead.

52:39 Guest Okay. I have gained like 20 pounds since I gave birth seven months ago, and my doctor could take Meridia or...

52:50 Drew It really doesn't work.

52:52 Guest It does not work.

52:52 Drew No, it really doesn't. Or what?

52:54 Guest Gosh, it's so expensive. Or...

52:56 Guest You're fat.

52:57 Caller Yes, I am.

52:58 Drew Or what?

52:59 Caller Venical.

53:01 Guest What's venical? I don't know.

53:02 Drew You mean Xenical? Yes. That works very little. Listen, you've got to start exercising, you've got to get a dietitian. Those things work better than anything. In terms of medication, the only medication I've found to be even moderately helpful is Topamax.

53:19 Caller Speed. Goofballs.

53:20 Drew Yeah, well, that's different. But there are going to be some medications coming that will affect appetite. But look, you've got to get going, get off your butt.

53:27 Guest Get on track, honey.

53:28 Drew And get on a proper nutritional plan.

53:29 Guest And stop making bogus calls. You don't lose weight like that.

53:31 Drew This is John 17.

53:33 Guest Hey, I have a quick question. I just want to know if having sex at an early age stunts the growth of a penis?

53:40 Drew Stunts the growth?

53:41 Guest Yeah, like-

53:43 Guest Having sex what? He messed up.

53:46 Guest I want to know if having sex at an early age stunts the growth?

53:50 Drew Stunts the growth of a penis.

53:51 Guest Yes, it does. You know that, Dr. Drew.

53:53 Drew Tell me more.

53:54 Guest Well, what happens is, usually, if you're 13, especially, I think you're a little older than that, if you have sex at 13, your penis, even though it becomes erect, as we talked about this off the air, Dr. Drew, it's going to be the same size as it is in its flaccid state.

54:13 Drew Just the way you have a developmental arrest, psychologically. You get an anatomical arrest. I'll tell you what you do when you have sex at real age. It's an arrest in your capacity for development of self-worth. So you get low self-esteem, and the penis becomes a symbol of that low self-esteem. And so you start thinking it's too small. That is what happens.

54:31 Guest Even though it's huge.

54:33 Drew Usually when it's not huge, but when it's normal.

54:35 Guest Right. What is normal? You told me that for you, normal is three inches.

54:38 Drew It's like 80% of the guys are in the five to seven range.

54:44 Guest What's the average size, you know?

54:46 Drew Most guys are in the five to seven range.

54:48 Guest Nine inches.

54:49 Caller Almost all.

54:51 Guest Okay. Thank you, guys.

54:52 Drew Alright. Good luck.

54:54 Guest You didn't think that was bogus?

54:56 Drew I think so, yeah. But I think he actually wanted to know something.

54:59 Guest All the guys. How old was he? Seventeen?

55:01 Guest Yeah.

55:02 Caller So what's this?

55:03 Guest He had a ruler out.

55:05 Caller You're like, could you repeat that? Oh, geez.

55:08 Drew Sandra, 19. Sandra?

55:11 Guest Sandra!

55:13 Drew This is your second strike.

55:16 Guest My chick didn't call from San Francisco, man. I know. I love her. I know.

55:20 Drew This is easy.

55:21 Guest Great.

55:21 Guest Bye, golly.

55:22 Drew What's up, Sandra?

55:23 Caller Hi.

55:24 Guest I have a question. Recently, I've been under a lot of stress, and I've noticed that I've been pulling my hair out more.

55:31 Drew Right.

55:32 Guest There's this habit that I just realized that I just had.

55:36 Drew Yeah, it's called trichotelomania, and it's an obsessive-compulsive trait.

55:42 Guest And I want to know how I can not really do that anymore, because I'm trying to think to myself, OK, don't do it. Like, don't do it, don't do it.

55:51 Drew That's like trying not to eat when you're on a diet.

55:55 Guest Do you pull your hair in one specific area till it's bald and move on, or do you just kind of do a thinning all over the whole head?

56:02 Guest It's kind of like a thinning all over.

56:04 Caller Really?

56:06 Guest Yeah. And my hair's gotten really short from it, and I want to know what I can data like.

56:11 Drew Really, pretty much the only thing that I've seen that's genuinely and sort of predictably effective, and you sound like you really need something that's going to work, is the serotonin reuptake inhibiting medicine. Probably Prozac has the best track record with this. OK?

56:22 Guest I actually had a friend, his girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend, plucked all of her pubic hair out.

56:27 Drew Yeah.

56:28 Guest And I went to school with a girl who pulled.

56:30 Drew Eyelashes.

56:31 Guest Eyelashes.

56:31 Drew And eyebrows.

56:32 Guest And eyebrows, yeah.

56:33 Drew That's good times. That's completely normal for the financial.

56:36 Guest But I didn't date those girls though, Dr. Drew. No. Which means, you know, a step forward.

56:39 Drew No, you were in the ones that abused the man, not themselves.

56:42 Caller Mm, but it's fun though.

56:43 Guest God, it's fun.

56:44 Drew Andy 24.

56:45 Guest Yeah, I'm calling them. I had a question about anal sex. Yeah. I have anal sex with, you know, various girls, right?

56:50 Caller And every time I do it.

56:51 Guest Various girls?

56:52 Caller Yeah. It comes out dirty.

56:54 Guest And you know how pornos, the guy never comes out dirty?

56:57 Caller I talk to girls about it. They say that's just the way it is.

57:00 Guest No, no. Well, here's what they do. The reason why they doesn't come out dirty. Yeah, they do enemas. They do enemas before they shoot the porn scene. That's why it doesn't come out dirty on porn. That's what you should be doing.

57:11 Guest So then these girls need to take enemas before?

57:13 Guest Yeah. You might want to administer one. And what you do properly is you want to cayenne, pepper and garlic enema. Probably put about a quart and a half in there. A room temperature. Now, once you administer the enema, you got to be right there because you got to watch and make sure it's in there properly. Right, Dr. Drew? Very close inspection. Just keep your nose right at the bungee hole and don't you move. And then massage your stomach, punch your butt or something like that. Everything will be fine. Next caller!

57:47 Drew Okay, this is Jacqueline, 14.

57:49 Guest Hi. Okay, my question is, I'm 14 and I was, I guess you can call it sexually abused or raped. I don't know what it would be for about 10 years since I was like, basically since I can remember, it's about a month ago.

58:05 Drew What happened a month ago?

58:07 Guest Well, my period stopped coming and my dad freaked out thinking I was pregnant and then I guess he finally realized what he was doing was ruining the family.

58:20 Guest Are you still in the house with your father?

58:22 Guest No, my parents are getting a divorce right now, but it's not due to this, it's due to the mother crap.

58:27 Drew Well, is she not in the house with the perpetrator anymore?

58:29 Guest No. Oh crap, I got to go. My parents are home. Can you give her a line?

58:36 Drew Helpline. I don't know what her question was yet. She's getting treatment. They're getting divorced. She's been seen. She's horrible. That's horrible. Oh my God. Okay, this is Jeff, 25.

58:49 Guest Hi, yeah. Kind of an interesting question. My wife likes it when we go out and we get into, or I'll get into a fight and it turns her on, like watching me fight and then we'll go home and it's extremely passionate, that kind of thing. And I was curious if, I don't know if it's abnormal behavior or how to go about changing it.

59:14 Drew No, I'm not sure you can change it.

59:15 Guest Dude, you should dump her. She's going to get you killed. She's going to keep upping the ante. Honey, when you took a bullet, when that guy winged you, you were so hot.

59:23 Drew Not only that, but somebody who's into chaos, into violence, into aggression, that's what she finds attractive. That's a bad sign. David, 19.

59:31 Guest Hey, what's up? How's it going?

59:33 Guest What's up?

59:34 Guest What's up, man?

59:36 Guest You.

59:36 Drew Who is this?

59:38 Guest David Alan Grier.

59:39 Guest Hey, what's up? How's it going, guys?

59:40 Guest All right.

59:42 Guest Do you guys hear my question?

59:45 Drew You haven't told us yet. Go. What's up?

59:46 Guest Okay. My question is, I have a fetish with smooth bodies, complete smooth bodies.

59:52 Drew What does that mean?

59:53 Guest Smooth bodies? You mean hairless?

59:55 Guest Yeah, hairless, completely hairless. One time this girl liked to do anal sex, and I went ahead and did it. It was like the second time I've done it. And she was Italian and white, and she had a completely smooth body, but her butthole was a little bit hairy. So I was wondering why, why is that? I thought girls weren't supposed to have hair down there.

1:00:15 Guest She missed it. She missed a spot. That's all. She missed a spot. Now, do you like your girls to be bald when they come to you? Or do you like to shave them? Is that an erotic part of your fetish?

1:00:27 Guest Oh, that's a very erotic part of my fetish. I like-

1:00:29 Guest Well, then now you got some work to do, brother. You got some work to do. You got to get around there and shave the peach fuzz.

1:00:36 Drew Talk to Adam, 26.

1:00:38 Guest How you doing, guys?

1:00:39 Guest Hey, what's up, man?

1:00:41 Guest So, I was just listening. You guys were talking about anal and preparation in porno, and I work in the business, so I was going to share some light. Girls all do enemas, but generally without solution, just with water. Usually like two to three times before. And it's still always messy. You still gotta break every ten minutes, then go clean up, and it's disgusting. It's, I've, since working in the business, I refuse to deal in anal sex.

1:01:09 Guest Dude, can I ask you, why don't you go and talk to young teenage boys around the country?

1:01:16 Guest This would be brilliant.

1:01:18 Guest You could bring film clips. Dude, you could bring film clips.

1:01:22 Drew You could have pictures. Behind the scenes.

1:01:24 Guest Yes, the real deal.

1:01:25 Guest You could write a book, Anal, the real story.

1:01:28 Guest Well, that's the thing is the dude was like, God, it's always clean on camera. Well, first of all, we have a magic thing called editing. So if a guy pulls his thing out and it's dirty, that's getting cut, you know, it's like a day in the movie.

1:01:41 Guest That's not sexy.

1:01:43 Guest When you watch a movie, you're only seeing the absolute best and cleanest and, you know, it's smelling the best. And that's another thing is porn shots smell real bad because of anal.

1:01:52 Guest I bet. I bet. Now, let me ask you something. How long were you in adult films?

1:01:57 Guest I've been working in the business for about 10 years.

1:01:59 Guest And you're still in it?

1:02:01 Guest Yeah. Yeah. I'm a producer, director, whatever. Yeah.

1:02:04 Guest Who's your favorite actress that you like working with?

1:02:09 Guest That I like working with.

1:02:11 Guest Well, no, let me rephrase that. Let me rephrase that. Because obviously, you're like you're working in the sausage factory, right? Did you? I mean, who? When I say your favorite, who is the hottest that you find the sexiest? Not physically hot. I'm saying the sexiest porn actress.

1:02:26 Drew Even the guy who's willing to throw himself to him. Yeah.

1:02:28 Guest For, you know, 10 billion hours of pounding. You still go, hey, hey, what's up?

1:02:33 Guest Who is that big Bella Donna fan? If you guys know who that is.

1:02:37 Drew What is that? Who is that?

1:02:39 Guest She, she was, she's retired now. She's directing, but she, she was a girl who the ABC did a big expose on the business and she was kind of the center of it. Real dirty girl. Really good at what you do.

1:02:50 Guest I like the dirty girls. Vanessa Del Rio to go old school on you. Vanessa Del Rio.

1:02:54 Guest Very old school. She just did a come back video actually about her.

1:02:59 Guest That's so old school. They had real film, like film, like, you know, when they were doing her.

1:03:04 Drew Like cinematographers.

1:03:06 Guest Did you ever see the NYPD Blue? Was it NYPD Blue that Vanessa Del Rio was on? In every scene, Dr. Drew, all the guys are like, oh my god, a porn star. And tell me about the crime that was committed. It's Vanessa Del Rio. I can't believe it.

1:03:21 Guest I'm actually buddies with a bunch of those old school guys from the 70s. So I hear all kinds of good stories about those girls.

1:03:26 Guest And now are you going to stay in the business or are you going to transition out? What's up?

1:03:30 Guest No, money's too good, man. I ain't going anywhere.

1:03:34 Guest Well, put me on, brother. Put me down.

1:03:36 Guest You know, I think actually I send movies over there for when Adam was there, but I don't know if he gets them.

1:03:41 Guest Adam's gone. Please address them to me.

1:03:44 Guest I will change them to David's address.

1:03:46 Guest And I like perverted, foul material, okay? But you know what?

1:03:51 Guest If you want to put me on hold, get me an address. We'll put you on a good monthly list.

1:03:55 Guest Beautiful.

1:03:56 Caller A monthly list?

1:03:57 Guest I'm so happy.

1:03:57 Caller I love it.

1:03:58 I love Love Line.

1:03:59 Guest I'm in love.

1:04:01 Guest Oh, this is the greatest.

1:04:03 Guest The greatest. Hey Anderson, did you like Chelsea?

1:04:06 Caller I think he did like her. She's a hooker.

1:04:10 Drew What's that?

1:04:11 Caller She's kind of like a hooker.

1:04:12 Guest Oh, she's so sweet. She's from New Jersey.

1:04:14 Caller Do you guys really hook up and live together? No.

1:04:17 Guest She's a very dear friend, though. I've known her a while and we go on the road sometimes together.

1:04:21 Caller But we're friends. It seems like you really liked her a lot.

1:04:25 Guest I kill her, though. I couldn't date Chelsea.

1:04:27 Caller I know you got really upset last time with a bad breakup and I was thinking, he's going to kill himself with this one.

1:04:31 Guest Oh my God. No, but she's fine.

1:04:34 Drew She's a pseudo-dag girl.

1:04:36 Guest Yeah, please.

1:04:36 Caller She's not crazy.

1:04:38 Drew Did you get the address for her guy?

1:04:40 Caller Yeah, he's hooked up.

1:04:41 Guest Beautiful, man. Beautiful. Chelsea's a good girl. She's very funny.

1:04:44 Drew Aaron 22.

1:04:46 Hello.

1:04:47 Drew Aaron, what's up?

1:04:48 Hey, what's going on? Thanks for taking my call. I had a question. You were talking about being traumatized emotionally. This is kind of like as far as alcohol goes. One of my mom's ex-boyfriends when I was about eight years old, pulled me in the bathroom and made me drink a cup of beer. I really hated it and I kind of like started crying and ended up pulling part of it out. But now I started drinking just very recently and I will drink to the point to where I basically black out.

1:05:18 Drew Well, there's interesting data about that. First of all, you have to inherit the gene for alcoholism. So it wasn't just the fact that you're exposed to the alcohol.

1:05:25 Guest You have to inherit the gene to be an alcoholic?

1:05:27 Drew Yeah, it's a gene. It's a proline serine substitution, the GABA-A receptor in the amygdala and an LL allele in the serotonin transporter. Those two things you'd be at 100% probability of being an alcoholic.

1:05:38 That's very interesting because I was also going to ask you because I was adopted and I never met my real parents.

1:05:44 Drew Adoption is considered a positive history for addiction because usually those are the people having kids.

1:05:49 Guest Really, it's funny you say this because there was a documentary on this couple who had this daughter. They were both, the husband and wife were alcoholics in recovery. They had this young daughter. She started shooting dope when she was very young so it was on and on a never-ending cycle. They had another son that they weren't worried about because he was adopted. He never became involved in drugs or anything. Tell me this, why in a family, you could have a family where, say, well, can I face my question please? Clearly, you've inherited the gene to interrupt. You could have one child that drinks and the other child that just doesn't even get into that lifestyle at all.

1:06:34 Drew It's 50% probability of inheriting that gene. If you get the gene, you also tend to be novelty-seeking. This whole business about young people being curious is sort of BS.

1:06:41 Guest What's novelty-seeking? Skydiving.

1:06:43 Drew They want to jump off furniture, they want to skydive, they want to try drugs, they want to try this and try that, and that's the alcoholic.

1:06:49 Guest So in other words, it's really not an alcoholic gene, it's an interesting gene.

1:06:54 Drew It's an addict gene.

1:06:55 Guest It's an interesting gene because if you're boring, you're not an addict.

1:06:58 Drew But addicts can't tolerate boredom.

1:07:00 Guest That is flawed.

1:07:00 Drew But here's the deal, Aaron. So let's get back to your thing. Exposure to alcohol before the age of 15 increases your risk of alcoholism by about six to eight fold. So there's one thing, so you're exposed.

1:07:11 Caller Anything else goes?

1:07:12 Drew What?

1:07:13 Caller Even addiction is higher.

1:07:14 Drew No, alcoholism. No, I can't say that. I can say about alcoholism. But having the alcoholic gene sets you up for addiction to other things. But specifically, alcohol is more likely if you've been exposed to alcohol prior to the age of 15. The vast majority of alcoholics were exposed to their, the alcohol prior to 15 at the hands of their parents in their home. First exposure in the home. So you fit that profile, and those two things kind of set you up, and then you've got the gene, obviously. And so it may not be the trauma of what you went through, although certainly that's an awful thing, and that adds to your ability to, that's the fact you tend to seek solutions for dysregulated emotions outside of yourself, outside of your body. Because when you've been traumatized, when you have crappy parents, you don't really build the internal, let's say, coping machinery that you need. And drugs and alcohol become the substitute for that.

1:07:59 Guest Well, tell me this. Why is it in, say, France, traditionally children were introduced to alcohol, mostly wine, as opposed to, I don't know, vodka, and they didn't have the same levels of alcohol as us.

1:08:10 Drew I'll answer it in two ways. One is that you can show that pre-age 15, the equivalent age of 15 in a rat, the same exact thing happens in mice and rats and humans. So pre-adolescent exposure to alcohol in mammals increases the risk. It's not just humans. The thing in France is that they've been exposing so many people to alcohol for so many centuries, they have almost no alcoholics left. They're all dead. The culture has actually weaned out all the genetics. They've actually, they've been so exposed that they all emerged and they died. They didn't reproduce.

1:08:41 Guest So maybe, maybe that's what we should do.

1:08:43 Drew Or let all the alcoholics die off?

1:08:44 Guest Well, step it up a notch. Say, introduce crack. Something like that to little kids.

1:08:47 Drew You can always do that.

1:08:48 Guest Little kids.

1:08:49 Drew Or just abort the alcoholics before they're born.

1:08:51 Guest I gotta run from air. I gotta run from air. I gotta do some work here.

1:08:54 Caller Oh, well, that's lovely.

1:08:57 Drew All right, Aaron. Just get into recovery, buddy.

1:09:00 Caller I'm out of the least of my problems. I mean...

1:09:02 Drew You've got other drugs going on, no doubt.

1:09:04 Caller Well, yeah. Like right now? Yeah, as we speak.

1:09:08 Drew Are you ready to get into recovery?

1:09:10 Caller I've totally been. I just don't have the money to do it. I don't understand.

1:09:14 Drew And you're in Venice. Head over to the Claire... Aaron, Claire Foundation on Pico.

1:09:19 Guest He can go to a meeting. He can go to AA.

1:09:21 Drew Claire Foundation on Pico.

1:09:23 Caller But that doesn't really work that much.

1:09:24 Drew Aaron, are you hearing me?

1:09:26 Caller Yeah, totally. I'm hearing you.

1:09:27 Drew Claire Foundation on Pico. You know where that is?

1:09:30 Caller Yeah, I do.

1:09:31 Drew Go to the Claire Foundation. Just walk in the door there. Tell them you're looking for help. Please do that. Tyler, 23.

1:09:36 Guest Hey, what's up, man? How's it going?

1:09:38 Drew Good.

1:09:39 Guest Hey, I have a question. I've been, I wanted to be a points off for quite a while. And I've gone to a few auditions and stuff. And they've always, like two of them, try to make me pose like with another guy and stuff.

1:09:52 Drew Yes. The only way guys go in is through gay porn.

1:09:54 Guest You want to be a porn star? Oh, yeah.

1:09:56 Drew Guys go in that way.

1:09:57 Guest Well, it's kind of like getting jumped into a gang.

1:10:00 Caller But it's porn.

1:10:02 Drew Not only that.

1:10:03 Guest We should have asked a porn guy.

1:10:04 Drew We should have asked a porn guy. We've got some more porn stars and things lined up here on calls. They're calling to tell you how to handle the anal sex problems. So it's David Alan Grier, who's generated a fascinating discussion about the techniques.

1:10:15 Guest It's all about the booty, baby.

1:10:18 Drew Phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Dag and I will be right back.

1:10:33 Guest This is Loveline.

1:10:55 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, he's Dag, I'm Dr. Drew, and she is Kelly, 21. Hi, Kelly.

1:11:04 Guest Hi, this is Kelly Taylor, yeah. I just wanted to call and clear up the whole anal sex thing. It seems a little foggy for people. It is actually possible to never have a problem because every time I've ever done on film, I've never had any problems, and there's a system to it. It's very easy.

1:11:22 Guest What's the system, baby?

1:11:23 Guest What's that?

1:11:24 Guest Step one. Step one. What's the system? First thing. Very good. Step two.

1:11:40 Guest Step two, you empty the enema bottle, make sure all the fluid is out of it because there's some sort of chemical in there that will keep you going.

1:11:50 Drew It's Phosphosoda.

1:11:52 Guest Yeah, it'll keep, your body keeps flushing it out. So you'll still go once you're clean from that. So what you need to do is empty the bottle and put warm water in it and do exactly the same thing that you did with the enema the first time to make sure all that chemical stuff is out of your body.

1:12:06 Guest All right, we passed the enema, we did the enema. What's the next step?

1:12:10 Guest The next one is you empty the bottle and you put warm water in there and you do the same exact thing with the warm water to flush out the chemicals.

1:12:17 Guest Okay, now we're done with that. Now what do we do?

1:12:20 Guest That's it.

1:12:20 Guest That's all you need.

1:12:21 Guest And the third thing is it's good to take two Imodium Ds about an hour before because that will keep any, if you have any like, you know, craziness going on.

1:12:33 Drew Nothing comes down.

1:12:34 Guest Let me ask you one quick question. Do you do anal sex in your private life?

1:12:39 Guest Um, you know, I don't. Because I, it's funny because when I first did it, I just lived like experimenting and stuff. I'm like, it was fun because it was with a boyfriend of mine. And then I started doing it on film and I, I only did it a few times on film because I didn't end up liking it because most guys don't know how to do anal sex properly. You can't just jam it in there.

1:13:01 Guest You got to go slow.

1:13:03 Guest You have to be very slow. And the other thing is that like, another thing that really helps girls, this is a tip for you.

1:13:09 Guest Couple shots of tequila?

1:13:11 Guest Or a gel. No, you take, you can pour gel and numbing stuff for your gums. You put just a little bit on the rim of your apple.

1:13:21 Guest Or on the gums, or on the gums.

1:13:23 Guest Or on the gums if you have problems with your gums. But it's really for that. And then, because that part of your body is so tight, it's not meant to have something.

1:13:31 Caller Hey Marcus, look up Kelly Taylor and show Adam. That's beautiful.

1:13:34 Guest Kelly, thank you so much.

1:13:36 Drew Hey Kelly, wait a second.

1:13:39 Guest My website is insidekelly.com.

1:13:42 Guest Well, we're getting inside you baby.

1:13:43 Drew But Kelly, why would you numb up a part of your body that as you admit on your own, nothing was meant to be put up there, it could only hurt you.

1:13:52 Guest Can I tell America, Kelly Taylor, you are hot. Oh my God, she looks beautiful.

1:13:58 Guest Thank you.

1:13:59 Guest Absolutely beautiful. And you know what Kelly, you bring up a good point. You do anal sex at work, you don't really want to do it at home. Dr. Drew, I act, I tell jokes on stage.

1:14:09 Guest I only did it a few times on film.

1:14:12 Guest That's all right.

1:14:13 Guest About a year.

1:14:15 Guest You're a good girl, honey. You're a fabulous girl.

1:14:17 Guest It was an experiment and I ended up having my experiment on film.

1:14:20 Guest And I hear you.

1:14:21 Guest Do you do black eyes on film?

1:14:24 Guest No.

1:14:25 Guest I don't either.

1:14:30 Guest Yeah.

1:14:30 Guest OK, thank you.

1:14:31 Drew And you'll be shocked to know, you'll be shocked to know she's coming from Sherman Oaks.

1:14:36 Caller You know what's following with Sherman Oaks.

1:14:37 Guest It's funny though.

1:14:38 Drew Well, people don't know that that's the porn capital of the world out there.

1:14:42 Guest It's funny. She'll do anal sex. Black eyes, no. I don't do chocolate. Love you. Bye.

1:14:49 Caller I found like three different Kelly Taylor porn stars, believe it or not.

1:14:52 Guest That's the one.

1:14:53 Drew Well, she gave you the one.

1:14:54 Caller Yeah, that's Marcus. There's no way that chick's 21 years old. Look at her.

1:14:57 Drew Marcus went right to the...

1:14:59 Guest She's like 41.

1:15:01 Caller Oh, my.

1:15:01 Guest No, but what I was going to say is I don't come home. I don't do theater games at home. I don't do clown work. I don't run around the house acting, doing improvs. No, you don't want to do it. If she's doing the anal sex at work, who wants to do that at home? God bless. Maybe that's a cure, Dr. Drew. You have these girls do it professionally at work, then when they come home from a doughnut...

1:15:21 Drew It doesn't cure the guys or the ones driving all this stuff.

1:15:23 Guest Yeah, but like I said, most guys will try it and then they'll stop.

1:15:27 Caller So then what's Drew like at home then? Does he save babies at home ever?

1:15:31 Guest Drew is a wild man at home, I really think.

1:15:33 Drew So I don't want to be serious at home, you see.

1:15:35 Guest I think you walk around in a thong and, uh...

1:15:42 Drew You would knock on Drew in the hizzy.

1:15:45 Caller In the hizzy, in the hizzy.

1:15:47 Guest You said we have other anal callers. It's all totally anal Tuesday.

1:15:52 Drew No, we don't.

1:15:53 Guest We don't?

1:15:54 Drew Nope, a lot of stuff's dropped off here. See, cause she sort of trumped it all.

1:15:58 Guest She did.

1:15:59 Drew I'm telling you, nigga.

1:16:01 Guest Oh, you're about to get hit, man. I don't want to do that to you, man.

1:16:06 Drew I deserve it though, right?

1:16:06 Guest You see how black I got. Oh, Dr. Drew, get up.

1:16:10 Drew Kelly? Oh, you're still there, David?

1:16:12 Guest Kelly, you're still there?

1:16:13 Guest I'm still here. I'm listening to what you have to say about me.

1:16:17 Guest I thought we were going to do, I thought we had more callers.

1:16:19 Guest Did you say that I was not a real porn star? Did you say that? No, honey.

1:16:23 Guest Were you doubting my porn star-ness?

1:16:25 Guest Baby, if you're the Kelly Taylor, I just saw you are a bonafide porn butt-naked star. You need to have a porno star on the street. A big star on the sidewalk.

1:16:38 Guest I'd be the same, I'd be rad. I'd totally go for that.

1:16:40 Guest Tell me the truth, seriously.

1:16:41 Guest You know what? They should have it in the Valley. They should have it in the porno Valley, down Ventura. That would be awesome.

1:16:46 Drew Kelly, how did you get involved in this business?

1:16:51 Guest In a strange way. A boyfriend and I were experimenting when I was 19. I had a little crazy moment because I actually grew up in a really good family. I grew up in Orange County, and I come from a middle upper class family. Money and everything.

1:17:07 Drew How do they feel about this?

1:17:09 Guest I did this weird, I'd just gotten this really experimental age when I was 18, 19, and a boyfriend and I did a internet scene together. Just for fun, because they're like, we'll film you and we'll give you a copy, and we'll pay you and da-da-da. And I'm like, do it.

1:17:28 Drew Whoa, Kelly. Refrain from the F-bombs, please.

1:17:33 Guest Kelly, please.

1:17:34 Drew All right.

1:17:35 Guest Is she gone?

1:17:35 Drew No. I want to hear the story. Hang on a second. Because this is a whiz.

1:17:39 Guest Well, how do you, I mean, okay, this is her version. I don't know if this is her version.

1:17:42 Drew Kelly?

1:17:43 Guest Sorry, I didn't mean to drop the F-bomb.

1:17:45 Drew Okay. And so you did this thing, it went out on the internet, what happened?

1:17:49 Guest I did it, and then I didn't like, it was like some little company, it wasn't even in California, I was actually living in Arizona at the time for a year. And I didn't think like anyone was going to see it, it was the day before I got my boobs done. So I'm like, whatever, it'll be like almost like a video.

1:18:04 Guest That's not me, the little boobies, mine are big, that's not me. Did you try that one?

1:18:08 Guest No, no, no, no, I haven't, because I don't think people have that footage. I don't know, it's like on some weird site somewhere, but.

1:18:15 Guest Kelly, hold on, hold on, honey, just put a sock in it just for a second. Slow your roll. Now, when you first started porn, did people tell you, like, if you don't perform on camera with black guys, because that'll destroy your whole audience with the rednecks and the white supremacists and Dr. Drew?

1:18:35 Guest Yeah, they do say that.

1:18:36 Guest Right. See, I told you.

1:18:38 Guest What? They do.

1:18:38 Guest It's true. They really don't, like, you know, I don't have anything against black people.

1:18:42 Guest In interracial sex, that's like a fetish, an important thing.

1:18:47 Guest There's a big market, especially blond.

1:18:50 Drew With black guys?

1:18:51 Guest That's like, I don't know, it's like a taboo or something to people.

1:18:53 Guest Dr. Drew is devastated. He is shocked and amazed.

1:18:56 Drew I'm just, yeah, he's shocked and amazed. Shocked and awed.

1:18:59 Guest Well, this is the real world.

1:19:00 Drew But McKelley, what, how do your family, how does your family feel about all this now?

1:19:03 Guest They're just glad she's not performing with black guys.

1:19:06 Caller All the other stuff, they don't care.

1:19:08 Guest I'll tell you what.

1:19:10 Guest They actually didn't know until about a year ago. I kept it from them very well. My parents are actually much older and they don't have cable. They're just like, they like watching PBS and stuff like that.

1:19:21 Guest Because they don't have cable in Orange County.

1:19:25 Drew So they found out what happened.

1:19:26 Guest Orange County. Well, anyway, I had this stalker who was freaking me out and whatever. And he somehow from a model release got my address because for a while I was having my stuff sent to my mom's house. And he actually sent my mom like videos and stuff because I refused to like meet him or whatever.

1:19:46 Drew And so what did your mom say or do?

1:19:47 Guest They found out and well, I kind of finagled it a little bit and told her that the guy was like a graphic design artist or something. And like, you are a smart girl, I mean, like all this stuff. But then like she figured it out. I mean, she's not dumb.

1:20:02 Guest So she's not dumb. Wait, did she tell you? Did she first call you and go?

1:20:06 Guest I just wanted to protect her from it.

1:20:07 Drew You know, so what did how did she react?

1:20:10 Guest She was like, it was kind of funny because we kind of like it was kind of like a hush hush thing for a while. Like it was something that we all knew, but we didn't talk about.

1:20:18 Drew You know, oh, my, is somebody an alcoholic in your family?

1:20:22 Guest It's so funny because one day we were sitting at lunch and How about a talkaholic?

1:20:27 Guest Is somebody talkaholic in your family?

1:20:29 Drew You're sitting at lunch.

1:20:30 Guest We're sitting at lunch and and she's like, I don't get mad at me, but I want to bring something up. I just want to let you know, if you're doing what I think you're doing, then you should be making a lot of money. And I think you should invest your money in real estate.

1:20:44 Guest Did you say, Mom, I'm not doing Black Eyes on camera? She said, thank God, let's have some more avocado.

1:20:50 Guest That was all she said to me, and that's been the end. Don't talk about it anymore.

1:20:55 Guest So hold on, one last question. Kelly, if you wanted to do a threesome with two dudes from Thailand, is that cool?

1:21:02 Guest I've never been asked that question before.

1:21:04 Guest How about a dark Puerto Rican?

1:21:06 Guest I don't think there are any Thailand porn stars.

1:21:10 Guest How about a dark Puerto Rican? A Mexican with Afro? Anything?

1:21:14 Caller How about a fat toothless redneck?

1:21:18 Drew Are you happy?

1:21:19 Guest I know, I'm blonde, but I ain't dumb. Come on.

1:21:21 Guest I hear you. I hear you, honey. You are smart as a whip.

1:21:23 Drew Are you happy?

1:21:25 Guest Yes.

1:21:26 Drew Are you happy?

1:21:27 Guest Am I happy? I'm actually... I am happy because I am actually only doing Playboy and Girl Girl and Photos now. I've kind of weaned myself off of the whole lifestyle a bit.

1:21:42 Guest Is that hard to do? Do you miss all the excitement of, you know...

1:21:45 Guest No, I don't because it wasn't really... It was like it was fun for a while. It was exciting and crazy and like totally different from anything I knew before. And but it's just like the people in the business are crazy.

1:21:59 Guest Right. Like now, do you guys like the guys, the guys you date? Maybe you're in a relationship. I don't know. But did you want them to know what you do for a living?

1:22:09 Guest Or did you want them to find out?

1:22:12 Guest Right. But how did you want in your heart of hearts? How did you want the man that you were with to kind of approach the whole business to ignore it?

1:22:20 Guest Is that in the industry? Most people date within the industry because those are the only people that understand. Like because you're doing other people on camera, like normal person accept that.

1:22:32 Drew Thank you. Right. There you go. I think that sort of says it all right there.

1:22:35 Caller There you go.

1:22:37 Guest Homecoming. Homecoming. We're a lot of healing tonight, Drew. I'd like to ask any other porn performers, women, come home. Come home to Loveline tonight, girls.

1:22:48 Caller Call us.

1:22:49 Guest Call us.

1:22:49 Drew Call and talk to DAG. 1-800-LOVE-191. In the meantime, we're going to take a little break. Be right back. Yep.

1:22:57 Caller Loveline will be back.

1:22:58 Drew Glad to hear it.

1:23:02 Guest Loveline will be right back.

1:23:29 Drew That's right, Loveline, here with David Alan Grier, the one and only dag. Let's talk first to Richard, who is 18. Richard?

1:23:37 Guest Yeah?

1:23:38 Drew What's going on there?

1:23:39 Guest Hi, I have a question. See, every time I masturbate, I always like wearing girls' underwear, like in bras and everything, and it's like a big fetish I had for the past three years, because I'm a virgin, so I don't know how. I feel weird every time I wear it, but it's like at the same time, it gives me pleasure.

1:23:58 Guest How did it start?

1:23:59 Guest I don't know, from watching porn.

1:24:02 Guest What kind of porn have you been watching?

1:24:05 Guest Like lingerie porn or stuff like that.

1:24:08 Guest And these are all, like it's all women doing this in the porn, and you said what?

1:24:13 Drew I gotta be like that. I don't have that, I gotta be that.

1:24:16 Guest I just like that, wearing that clothes, I don't know.

1:24:20 Drew It's not a rational thing by any stretch. It's a fetish, and it's a fusion, and difficulty, it's a phase in life when there's difficulty sort of distinguishing between self and other, and the whole idea of sexuality becomes sort of fused in being with women as opposed to becoming, it's a very primitive fetishistic thing.

1:24:37 Guest I guess that's an easy answer. If I can't be with one, I'll become one kind of-

1:24:43 Drew Sort of the whole confusion about fusion, quite literally. And it's an issue, Richard, it means some stuff's going on there, but-

1:24:51 Guest But do you have like gay fantasies? No, it's not gay, it's not a gay thing. Well, when you do it, Dr. Drew, you're saying that-

1:24:57 Drew What I do is gay, but it doesn't necessarily mean gay.

1:24:59 Guest Okay. Or by the way, that wonderful brassiere you're wearing tonight. That's beautiful. Is that a bustier or is it, what do they call it?

1:25:06 Caller Is there a wire under that?

1:25:07 Drew Underwire bra.

1:25:08 Guest All right, all right, I got it. It's beautiful. Very, very attractive. So what should we say?

1:25:12 Drew What's the question, Richard?

1:25:14 Guest So I was wondering, is that like really weird? Because I mean, I don't like guys, you know, I'm straight and all that.

1:25:20 Drew Yeah, it's not normal. It means something's going on. I know if I had a fetish like that, I'd certainly look into it.

1:25:28 Guest At that age?

1:25:29 Drew 18.

1:25:30 Guest Yeah. Let me ask you this. Could it stay just with him doing underwear or is he going to start like and totally dressing like a chick?

1:25:38 Drew No, it could stay just here. But he's going to have difficulty functioning inter-personally, I suspect.

1:25:44 Caller In other words, it's kind of hard to tell your chick.

1:25:46 Guest It's like, the big news is I bought some lingerie. The bad news is it's not for you.

1:25:51 Drew It also suggests he will have other difficulties relating. So, here's Ryan, 19.

1:25:57 Caller Hi, Dr. Drew. I love your show and avid watcher Strictly Sex on DVR.

1:26:02 Drew Very kind.

1:26:03 Caller But I had a quick question for you on the effects of robotess in DM. I tried it with a friend last night and I'm not to worry about myself because I'm not really an addictive person with things like that, but he's getting kind of addicted to it and I'm wondering about the ill effects with it because I can't find anything on the Internet that says it has anything really that, you know, negative towards you and I kind of find that hard to believe downing so much.

1:26:28 Drew Yeah.

1:26:28 Guest Is this with codeine?

1:26:30 Drew No, no, you mean just the dextromethorphan really.

1:26:33 Guest But is dextromethorphan?

1:26:35 Drew Dextromethorphan, yeah.

1:26:37 Guest Isn't that like a coding like synthetic, taking some molecules out or something?

1:26:43 Drew It's closer to PCP, really, it's dissociative.

1:26:48 Guest Yeah.

1:26:49 Drew And people getting these sort of dissociated states and these euphoric states, they kind of sit and stare. There's concern that there's going to be brain damage associated with it. I think, I believe if you look at some of those websites, because I have visited some that go extensively into discussions about what's available, what's been known about or studied about this, and there is some evidence it hurts people.

1:27:07 Guest What is wrong with kids today? Do some ecstasy, drop some acid, what, do you got to drink a half a gallon of cough syrup?

1:27:14 Drew Well, that's actually his problem is he's tried other drugs and he's got it in his mind that he can't get high office other things and this is the one thing he found that actually works and it has a mix, it has a mix in terms of its biology, it's sort of a mix between methadone and PCP as I looked into this pretty carefully one time and so it can be quite addictive for some people but you have to use a lot of it before you get those effects.

1:27:35 Guest Isn't that hard on your kidneys, your liver, all that stuff?

1:27:39 Drew It's obviously not good for you.

1:27:40 Caller Wow.

1:27:41 Guest But you won't have a cough.

1:27:43 Caller With my one time trying it last night, that's not going to have too much of a residual effect or anything.

1:27:47 Drew I think you'll be alright. You may.

1:27:48 Guest So wait a minute. You're saying you tried this one time.

1:27:51 Caller I have tried it seriously one time because I'm pretty okay with experimenting and whatnot.

1:27:57 Guest We get it. You're an Eagle Scout.

1:27:59 Caller But I mean, this was kind of a different thing. So I was like, well, why not? But how long has your friend been doing it again?

1:28:06 Guest How long has your friend been doing it?

1:28:08 Caller He's been doing it for about a month now actually. He's starting to get really into it now because it's something you can buy and it's something that actually works with powder buying.

1:28:18 Drew And also they do get some personality changes and so they can get pretty weird on this stuff.

1:28:22 Guest I thought they mixed it. Like there's a kind of a cocktail that you make up or something.

1:28:26 Drew Now it's usually, they get corseed and tablets. They get the extra corseed and they take boxes and boxes.

1:28:31 Guest Get him to a crack house, please.

1:28:33 Drew Yeah, and they get him some help.

1:28:34 Guest This is ridiculous.

1:28:34 Drew This is not good. Tyler, 31.

1:28:36 Guest Hey, what's up, man? How's it going?

1:28:38 Drew We're good.

1:28:38 Guest Hey, I have a question. I've been married for about a year and a half. I'm 31. And basically what happened was that I went to Europe for a business trip like about eight months ago. And somehow I met a guy there and started somehow.

1:28:56 Drew Magically, magically, somehow, somehow.

1:28:59 Guest Yeah. Well, actually, he came up to me pretty much. And I pretty much my wife is talking about having kids right now. And my question is, what should I do? Should I tell her and let her know about my problem?

1:29:12 Drew Or should I have you always been gay? Just discovered that in Europe or did you?

1:29:16 Guest Yeah, discovered that Europe.

1:29:18 Guest You never had any gay like 31? No, no gay junk in the past.

1:29:25 Drew Didn't like to watch gay porn or anything?

1:29:26 Guest Not really. No, no, because I've always been too involved with with women. So my question is right now, what should I do?

1:29:34 Guest I mean, you should dump your wife. Oh, wait a minute. You said she's expecting or wants to have kids.

1:29:38 Guest No, wants, wants.

1:29:39 Guest Don't have kids. Leave your wife and be happy and gay if that's what you want to do.

1:29:43 Guest But at the same time, it doesn't fulfill everything. He came down to see me twice. And I mean, we talk every day and we email each other and stuff. And I even thought about like changing my email, change my number, but I can't.

1:29:58 Guest All right. So what do you want to do? It sounds like to me, you have an idea of it. You want everything to be the way it is. You want your cake and you want to eat it too or suck it or whatever.

1:30:07 Guest Exactly. All right.

1:30:09 Guest Well, you know what?

1:30:10 Drew That's fine if you weren't married and if you're playing with kids, but...

1:30:14 Guest I feel bad because whenever she talks about it, I'm like, well, I don't really want them.

1:30:18 Guest Yeah. But you know what? If you stay in the marriage, you're going to feel worse. What if she gets pregnant? What if tomorrow she says, honey, I'm pregnant?

1:30:25 Guest I don't know. That's my problem.

1:30:27 Guest Well, you should know. You should think about that. You're a grown man. You should think about that.

1:30:31 Drew The thing about marriage is you relinquish the right to cheat with anybody. And just because it's a guy doesn't mean you're not cheating. The guy is also cheating on someone else. What?

1:30:41 Guest The guy is also cheating on someone else.

1:30:43 Drew Yeah. You're seriously, not only are you adding to the other people's mystery, you are seriously diminishing the intimacy with your wife. Yeah.

1:30:51 Guest And actually, like lately, I mean, sex hasn't even been the same.

1:30:54 Drew I don't even mean... Yeah.

1:30:55 Guest You're telling me it's not been the same?

1:30:57 Drew I don't even mean...

1:30:57 Guest Yeah. Because she has a vag, my friend. That's why.

1:30:59 Drew I don't even mean physical intimacy. I mean the relationship intimacy, the emotional intimacy gets diminished, gets drained as a result of this. And it's going to be not a stable or healthy family. It's going to affect kids. Don't do that. Don't do it. You're married. You made an oath, a solemn oath not to cheat, to commit yourself. If you can't do that, then get out of the marriage. It's fine.

1:31:20 Guest Or at least go maybe under the guise of a therapist or some kind of family counselor, maybe with a third party there, a mental health professional.

1:31:30 Drew I can help you guys sort it out.

1:31:31 Guest Exactly. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable saying, you know, honey, I like to pound man ass.

1:31:36 Caller Was this guy French?

1:31:37 Guest Huh?

1:31:38 Caller Was he French?

1:31:39 Guest No, he was from Spain.

1:31:41 Drew Spanish.

1:31:42 Guest Anderson, what happened to you with the French guy? What happened? Now how'd that go down?

1:31:45 Caller I just wanted to have an opportunity to do this. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Thanks.

1:31:49 Drew That made the evening.

1:31:50 Caller That's beautiful.

1:31:50 Drew All right. Well, thanks, Tyler. Good luck, boy. That does not sound like a fun situation. And I've seen, I've seen these girls.

1:31:55 Caller Yeah, but you know, why is he gonna call?

1:31:56 Drew And I've seen women that tolerate this.

1:31:58 Caller Well, wait a minute.

1:31:58 Guest Why is he gonna call?

1:31:59 Drew Call what?

1:32:00 Guest Us. He didn't have a question. It was clear that he said he wanted everything to be the way he wanted it.

1:32:05 Drew I know. He just wanted to hear, he wanted to hear about it. He wanted to talk about it.

1:32:07 Guest Yeah, what should I do, man? And the guy, the guy came to him.

1:32:11 Caller But he, he don't.

1:32:12 Guest Give me a break.

1:32:13 Drew It's not really fully appreciating what he's created here. Is it, I've seen-

1:32:18 Guest Let's do a little play acting. Hey, I just got off the plane. I'm in Europe. Boy, it's wonderful. Hey, hey, foreign European guy, who, who, what's your name? No, thank you. No, thank you, mister. No, thank you.

1:32:31 Drew No, thank you. And we'll be right back.

1:32:32 Guest That's what you do. Man, I tell you what, you know, in all my years on Loveline, what an exciting night.

1:33:03 Drew What an interesting, diverse, colorful.

1:33:05 Guest Chelsea was here with all her glory.

1:33:07 Drew Kelly was here.

1:33:08 Guest Oh, God bless Kelly.

1:33:09 Guest With your new wife.

1:33:10 Guest I don't want to make her my wife. She doesn't do black guys.

1:33:12 Drew Oh, that's right.

1:33:13 Guest Not on camera.

1:33:14 Drew I did learn something.

1:33:15 Guest Not on camera. You don't want to, you want to keep those white supremacists happy.

1:33:18 Drew Oh my God.

1:33:19 Guest What a joyful day. And you know what, I come back tomorrow, I get to do it all over again.

1:33:23 Drew I can't wait. And by the way, the rest of the country will hear Tonight Show tomorrow and we'll get all their responses.

1:33:29 Guest Oh, you evil genius.

1:33:33 Drew So until then, this is Dr. Drew on behalf of David Alan Grier saying good night and stay well.

1:33:37 Guest Shut up, you big black loser.

1:33:42 Guest This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Aningold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005