Episode 1000735933433

0:15 Voiceover 1-800-LOVE-191 Loveline starts now.

0:22 Voiceover Phone number is indeed 1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew, and I am delighted to welcome to the show tonight the star of Breaking Bonaduce, none other than Danny Bonaduce. Good evening, everybody.

0:33 Good evening.

0:34 Drew Thanks for having me, Doug. I am so happy you came and checked in with us.

0:37 Danny Bonaduce Oh, it's my pleasure.

0:37 Drew Thank you. It's a delight. You're now a huge star on the cable.

0:41 Danny Bonaduce I must say, in all honesty, for years and years and years, I've been a huge fan of this show. Is this like the longest-running show on radio?

0:47 Drew It's got to be one of them.

0:48 Danny Bonaduce It's like the Ed Sullivan of this radio.

0:52 Drew And you know when I started doing this was 1983.

0:55 Danny Bonaduce Are you serious?

0:55 Drew I swear to God. I just told some of the story. Then I had sort of almost as like a confusing, not a joke, but sort of a confusing request. Like, would you help out on this show? Kind of like when I was in medical school. It's crazy.

1:06 Danny Bonaduce Wow. That's a long run.

1:08 Drew Little did I know that I would be able to sort of broadcast with none other than someone from the Partridge family.

1:14 Danny Bonaduce What was I doing in 83? I think crack. Oh, really? Yeah.

1:18 Drew Pretty sure. How long after the Partridge family wrapped up did you get going on drugs?

1:24 Danny Bonaduce What depends on what you mean by get going?

1:25 Drew I mean, the momentum.

1:26 Danny Bonaduce Because there is if you're not a drug addict and you know, you may be even high, maybe even drunk or whatever. But if you're not an addict, when you say get going to an addict, there is a level to which we go.

1:39 Drew Yes, I know.

1:40 Danny Bonaduce That would shock and surprise most people.

1:42 Drew I don't mean where did you where did you go when you knew you were in trouble? I mean, when did the switch get thrown? You know what I'm saying?

1:48 Danny Bonaduce I got to go with, you know, 14, 15. When I went back to school, I went back to a, I had done the Partridge family for years and had a private tutor. And then I went back to what was supposed to be just this regular private school called Cal Prep. But it only had 80 students for like seventh to 12th grade. And my entire, check this out, my entire graduating class was me, Michael Jackson and Christian Brando. Which I find fascinating because out of the three of us, I have the best reputation.

2:20 Drew You're the healthiest.

2:21 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I'm like the best one.

2:22 Drew Wow.

2:23 Danny Bonaduce Wow, we got to go pick out with the class of 77. I'm going with Bonaduce.

2:26 Drew Were the three of you doing drugs together back then?

2:28 Danny Bonaduce I don't know that Michael ever, ever, ever took drugs as far as I know. Michael was, first of all, Michael was still black in 77.

2:35 Drew Yeah, different guy, right?

2:37 Danny Bonaduce Completely different guy.

2:37 Drew But we know he was an opiate addict because he was treated for opiate addiction in London 10 years ago.

2:41 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, no, I don't believe so. No, I know that's true, but then he was, yeah, yeah. But Brando and I were high constantly.

2:48 Drew Okay, that's where it got gone. So we can blame Christian Brando then.

2:52 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, that's easy. What's he gonna do? To me, he's gotta come out of the hills of Montana wherever he's hiding out.

2:57 Drew All right, so you got gone, and then when did you finally get sober? First time.

3:00 Danny Bonaduce The first time I got sober, because my sobriety kind of goes in waves of hours. Like sometimes I've answered, and like Geraldo laughed at me, right? He thought I was being cute. He looked at me and he goes, so how long have you been sober? And I looked at my watch and I went all day now, and he went ha ha ha, and he moved on. I wasn't kidding.

3:18 Drew Sustained sobriety.

3:20 Danny Bonaduce Sustained sobriety. I think I had six months, close to six months, about three years ago.

3:26 Drew I thought you had a long period of sobriety, like about five years ago.

3:28 Danny Bonaduce No, I've had, well here's exactly what happens. I'll tell you exactly what happens, because you know, I'm one of the very few B-Nist celebrities, because I don't want to just say celebrity, because I guess they don't do these talk shows. But B-Nist celebrities.

3:41 Drew You know, you're a cable star.

3:43 Danny Bonaduce I'm kind of an A-Nist-er now. I'll give you that. Cool, that's nice. They don't pay A-Nist money. I will tell you right now, cable does not pay A-Nist money.

3:51 Drew You know what, let me give you a sidebar for a second. I really get those kind of irritated reading articles, going, you know, Danny Bonaduce, you've been gone for so many years. People, this show is broadcast around the country. He was a radio star in Los Angeles for a long time.

4:05 Danny Bonaduce For six years. I did the other half with Dick Clark, Clarence Lopez for two years. I did a talk show at a national Disney show.

4:12 Drew So you've been nowhere since the Parties.

4:14 Danny Bonaduce It's whatever you did. It's whatever you did. Because people, like, if they want to be really mean to me, people use the term has been. They'll look at you and go, has been. And if you take has been and you really go to its core, it means you have done something so important you can't possibly repeat it. Therefore, almost every ex-president is a has been. You know, Clinton washed up that guy. Never going to be president again no matter how hard he tries. All washed up. So it doesn't really offend me.

4:43 Drew The other thing is I hear people sometimes going, oh, well, Danny Bonaduce's show, that was acting. I thought, I've seen it. I've been there with people like Danny. That's what it looks like.

4:54 Danny Bonaduce Actually, you've been there with Danny.

4:55 Drew I've been there. I could have sworn you were sober the last time I saw you.

4:57 Danny Bonaduce There was a promo that ran for this show. And you'll hear me in the background muffled. I heard it on the way and going, I just can't take it anymore, Dr. Drew. What that was, I was telling the story and the mics were on. I was talking about having seen you once. And I was sober at the time, meaning that day, but I was strung out on drugs and could not break free. And I had pulled you aside and told you in all earnestness, I'm having a really hard time. I can't go on like this, Dr. Drew.

5:22 Drew But you were unclear about what was going on.

5:24 Danny Bonaduce We had to go on a talk show together and be cute. But I remember, I pulled you aside and asked for help, which you offered, by the way, and you were very kind. You've always been very kind to me, by the way.

5:33 Drew I appreciate that. My pleasure, you've always been my pleasure.

5:34 Danny Bonaduce Kind of your job, you're the doctor.

5:35 Drew Kind of my job, but I've always felt sort of an affinity for you, and so I don't know what we can be crossed in the night, you know what I mean?

5:41 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, we do.

5:42 Drew And so here we are, finally the same show.

5:44 Danny Bonaduce This time I have six months, and what's the date today?

5:47 Drew Was that your first treatment?

5:49 Danny Bonaduce No, I've been to rehabs everywhere.

5:51 Drew But you just never sustained?

5:53 Danny Bonaduce Well, the first time I went to rehab was to avoid jail.

5:56 Drew Yeah.

5:56 Danny Bonaduce Okay, don't want to do that. Which are you?

5:58 Drew Are you capitulated this time? Or do you think you're in?

6:00 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I think I'm in.

6:01 Drew Are you done? Yeah.

6:02 Danny Bonaduce Well, here's what happened, and I will give some credence to the show where people ask if I'm acting, which is funny to me. Because with most reality shows, people run around saying, no, I swear to God, it's real. With my reality show, if I can convince you that I was acting and I'm not really that much of an ass, please believe I was acting. Have at it. I didn't really do any of that stuff. I wasn't drunk on the street. I wasn't laying in vomit. I didn't have a needle sticking out of my arm. None of that really happened. David Copperfield set that up.

6:42 Drew Oh, man. Well, now, again, I want to get back to just sobriety real quick, and then we'll take some calls on the street. The 1-800-LOVE-191. Danny Bonaduce in here. None other than, with the needle hanging out of his arm. So this is the longest period of sustained sobriety you've had? Yeah, here.

6:56 Danny Bonaduce This is my sobriety date right there. Tattooed on my arm.

6:59 Drew 5-3-0-5. I couldn't... You've always talked a good talk, though.

7:03 Danny Bonaduce No, but I've probably not been lying to you.

7:06 Drew No, but I mean, you understand the program is what I'm saying.

7:08 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

7:09 Drew And yet you've never really capitulated to it.

7:11 Danny Bonaduce No. And this is the first time ever. And this is all... I was going to say this to you about the show and the doctor because I love the show and I'm not a big fan of that doctor. He's not... My wife really likes him.

7:20 Drew The therapist.

7:21 Danny Bonaduce Yeah. He's not my favorite guy.

7:22 Drew Yeah.

7:22 Danny Bonaduce But the one thing that they said is, because I wouldn't leave my home. I haven't left my home in years except to make a living. I don't go out. I don't make friends. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to read and hang with my family.

7:34 Drew No kidding.

7:35 Danny Bonaduce No kidding. Yeah, two kids.

7:36 Drew How old are they?

7:37 Danny Bonaduce Ten and four. Isabella and Dante. Cool. And I don't want to leave my home. My home's nice. I like my family. What's outside for me? But trouble, that's all that's outside for me ever is trouble.

7:46 Drew Yet you seem to find it.

7:47 Danny Bonaduce Yeah. So, you know, I mean, going out with me always involves, you know, sirens and screaming. So I didn't go out of my house for a couple of years and they said go out and I started going to the meetings.

7:58 Drew Yeah.

7:58 Danny Bonaduce And I started to make friends in the meetings. And I actually, instead of like just having a problem and freaking out about my problem, I actually started to call some of these people.

8:07 Drew And you've never done that before?

8:09 Danny Bonaduce Never in my life, not ever, not once.

8:10 Drew Alright, so you're in.

8:11 Danny Bonaduce What kind of guy, just by the sound of my voice, you should be able to tell, I never called another man and said I need help, ever.

8:17 Drew Do you have a sponsor now? Yeah. And what step are you working on?

8:20 Danny Bonaduce I'm working on step four.

8:21 Drew Oh, good times.

8:22 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, good times. I'll be busy.

8:24 Drew For those of you that are listening, step four is the fearless inventory, where you look at all the S you've done in your life and all the shame and guilt, and then you sit down and tell somebody.

8:34 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, well first you sit down and you write it.

8:36 Drew Yeah.

8:36 Danny Bonaduce Because you don't want to go by memory because for most people, you'll think, well, I punched that guy in the third grade, and I stole Lisa's milk money, and I slept with my girlfriend's friend, and I shouldn't have. That's nothing. When you sit down and you really think it out, you've done some, even you good people, and I barely recognize you, but even you good people have done some really bad things in your life, that it might serve you to get off your chest.

9:00 Drew It sort of eats at you. Yeah. If you can find a way to make amends to it. I was talking to someone tonight who was, we were talking to a guy who was recovering, and how early in recovery sometimes people manifest behaviors as a way of trying to activate that part of their brain as opposed to using drugs. They'll steal, they'll have sex, and they'll eat, and they'll shop, and they'll spend money, all that stuff. And he was going into stores and ripping stuff off. One day he said he knew there was a problem when he stole an expensive drill bit for drilling. He didn't know.

9:25 Danny Bonaduce Right. It's a sign right there.

9:28 Drew And his sponsor said, go back in, buy a gift certificate for the amount of that drill bit, and rip it up in front of the store owner.

9:35 Danny Bonaduce Boy, that's nice.

9:37 Drew Right. And that, you're sort of, it's an exoneration experience, right?

9:42 Danny Bonaduce My sponsor is a great deal younger than I, and that made me nervous at first. And the wisdom, he's got a lot of time, a lot of time. And the wisdom that these people carry around in their back pocket is, like, he probably said it right off the top of his head.

9:55 Drew Absolutely. This is what I want you to do. You're going to make amends. Don't make amends by saying, I stole something because I'll call the police.

10:02 Danny Bonaduce Right. And also don't make amends by because you get a bonus. If somebody says, hey, thank you for doing the right thing, then you didn't do it.

10:09 Drew No.

10:09 Danny Bonaduce You just silently do the right thing and pay your debt.

10:11 Drew Exactly. All right. Let's take some calls here, Danny. This is Diane 23. Diane, you're on with Danny Bonaduce.

10:17 Hi.

10:18 Danny Bonaduce Hi, Diane.

10:19 Hi. I have a question.

10:21 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

10:23 I have my hood pierced.

10:25 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

10:26 And I was wondering, can that affect, can it, like, desensitize, desensitize your head? Desensitize your clit at all?

10:34 Danny Bonaduce Actually, yes, it can.

10:35 Drew Oh, good answer.

10:36 Danny Bonaduce Yeah. Thank you. It is the same thing with, if you'll notice, a lot of women who have breast implants, especially underneath the muscle, will find that their nipples have gone numb. The same exact thing can happen when you have your hood pierced, especially, what gauge?

10:51 Just the regular, it's not gauge out. Not huge. It's just.

10:55 Danny Bonaduce So 10 gauge, probably about 10 gauge?

10:57 Yeah, I haven't stretched it. It's just regular gauge.

11:00 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, you can indeed lose sensitivity there.

11:02 Drew What usually happens is there's more sensitivity for a while and then it gets, again, you get extra super sensitive and then you lose it.

11:08 Cause I've never had a problem getting off orally, but here, I haven't been sexually active for quite some time and I just got it with this guy and.

11:18 Danny Bonaduce Well, maybe it's the hood ornament you wear down there frightens people away. That stuff's scary. I don't know if girls know this or not, but some guys are frightened by that.

11:27 You know, but.

11:28 Drew No, no, no, no, it's not.

11:30 Danny Bonaduce Not for me. It's not.

11:31 Drew And by the way, what's going on here, Dan? You have to get your clitoris pierced, you're hiding out away from guys. I mean, this is sort of an abuse profile.

11:39 Well, I've had it done for like three or four years now.

11:42 Drew So no answer.

11:44 I basically got it done because it was different.

11:46 Drew Yeah, because no, no, no. That's what you think you're doing, but there's some sort of other acting out going on here. Look, go have a relationship. Find a guy who likes clitoral hood piercings and.

11:56 Danny Bonaduce And there are lots of them. That's the thing I have found in following this doctor's advice and going out and making friends because I forced myself out of my home. Yes, there are. You know, the expression it takes all kinds. Oh, they're all kind of it ain't true.

12:08 Drew There's all sorts of you felt a part of your isolation. There was shame. You felt you were the only one that was bad and did those horrible things. That.

12:15 Danny Bonaduce Well, let me tell you. I will tell you this in this. We got to jump back 25 years real quick. And then you can understand some of the feelings for the rest of my life. I was probably within the top 200 famous American people. And I was your busboy at the same time.

12:33 Drew What do you mean?

12:34 Danny Bonaduce I had no money, no job, nowhere to live. And I was Danny Partridge and I needed food.

12:38 Drew This is when you were how old?

12:40 Danny Bonaduce Maybe 19.

12:42 Drew So it was after the whole run of everything.

12:44 Danny Bonaduce The Partridge family ended. I turned 18. I got $60,000.

12:46 Drew Do you think that's why that kind of a feeling is why kids that are very famous when they're children end up having trouble?

12:55 Danny Bonaduce No, because I don't necessarily believe the kids that were famous when they were when they were children necessarily end up in trouble. I don't think it's fair that me, Todd Bridges and Eddie Munster have brought down an industry where Ron Howard and Jodie Foster go unnoticed.

13:08 Drew Okay.

13:09 All right.

13:09 Drew Granted.

13:10 Danny Bonaduce Thank you.

13:10 Drew There we go. Jeremy, 24.

13:13 Caller Hey, how you doing? I was calling in. I've been having anal sex with my girlfriend and it's like, she's been like really uncomfortable. Like lately, she said like she's been hurt in that area. I was coming to see like, what could that be? What could be wrong?

13:27 Drew Well, is she, so she initially, she could do it without pain and then pain developed?

13:33 Caller Well, she, well, I'm black, she's white and you know, like we have different types of, you know what I mean? Well, she used to do it with a past boyfriend.

13:44 Drew He wasn't as big.

13:45 Caller Well, he was a white guy, so.

13:48 Danny Bonaduce You know what, as a five foot, seven inch white man, I would like to take exception with this guy, but he's totally right. You go ahead, Joey, you're fine.

13:58 Drew So it hurts her. And has it always hurt her with you?

14:01 Caller Well, we've only done it like twice.

14:04 Drew All right. Well, God bless you for asking, because usually it's the women calling going, it hurts me. What do I, how do I do? I must be doing something wrong. The fact that your calling suggests you do actually care about her and maybe this isn't an activity that's suitable for the two of your anatomies.

14:19 Danny Bonaduce If I may add, there is a book out right now. It's called Hot Monogamy. Have you heard of it, Doc? No. It's hard to get. I was recommended to me by a doctor and I finally I went and got it and I was thrilled. My wife and I were were reading it together because I had had an affair several years ago and my wife and I were reading it together and it was wonderful and full of really really really good ideas but it did in fact say a man should never ask a woman to do anything that's uncomfortable for her.

14:47 Drew Well, not only that, not only is it something that she will build resentment and believe me, believe me she'll have find a day to get that back to get back to you. But also the pain is a sign that the body is being damaged. There's a reason it hurts. You can get rectal fissures and abscesses and hemorrhoids and tears and you can actually prolapse the rectum. Where's David Alagreer on that one? Anderson, you in there tonight? Can you give me the David Alagreer? No, the prolapsed rectum. Okay, come on.

15:21 Danny Bonaduce What I say? What I say?

15:23 Caller What I say?

15:23 Drew I got feelings for you.

15:24 Can I prolapse your anus?

15:28 Caller Everybody has their middle of something.

15:29 Drew All right. By the way, Danny likes your voice, Anderson.

15:31 Danny Bonaduce I do.

15:33 Drew You're soothing.

15:33 Danny Bonaduce You're very soothing. You're saying, 40 seconds.

15:36 Drew If he only knew you.

15:37 Danny Bonaduce 30 seconds. Wow, that's like a porn phone number or something.

15:41 Drew Nicole is 21. There's a wives tale out there that black males have larger penises. It's true. Well done, Anderson. Hey, Nicole.

15:48 Caller What's up?

15:50 Hello.

15:50 Drew Yeah, here we go.

15:52 Hi, Drew. Hi, Danny.

15:53 Drew Hi, Nicole.

15:56 About going through recovery, I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic, honestly, but I live in Reno.

16:02 Drew I've never really come across somebody that speculated seriously about whether or not they were an alcoholic or drug addict, who in fact wasn't.

16:08 Danny Bonaduce Right. Absolutely. That's almost, Dr. Drew is so right. If you are sitting around contemplating, do I have a problem with alcohol? Then you do.

16:16 Drew Yeah.

16:16 Danny Bonaduce Okay. If you, just to be absurd, but to give you a good visual, if you, I don't know, take a paper cutter and cut off one of your fingers, then you cut off the other and then you say, I wonder if I have a problem cutting off my fingers. The chances are you do.

16:31 Drew I'll tell you what's behind your thinking is, cause I know alcoholic minds very, very well, is I wonder how much longer I can get away with this. Really, it's like, how much longer can I keep, how much worse is this gonna get before I have to really convince myself.

16:44 Danny Bonaduce And by the way, Nicole, it always gets worse.

16:46 Is it necessarily bad though?

16:48 I mean, I'm 21 years old. I live in downtown Reno, you know, it's a constant party. And I mean, there's questions of what would I do if I quit drinking, you know, would I be...

16:58 Danny Bonaduce How much do you drink?

17:01 On a good night.

17:02 Danny Bonaduce I know on any night.

17:03 Drew Average night.

17:04 Danny Bonaduce Every night of the week.

17:06 Work nights, two, three drinks, if I'm going out, God knows.

17:11 Danny Bonaduce Have you ever missed work because you've been drinking?

17:13 Not in the last year.

17:14 Danny Bonaduce So that's a yes. You have missed work because you've been drinking, correct?

17:18 Drew That's a great alcoholic thinking. Not in the last six months.

17:21 Danny Bonaduce Have you ever awakened next to a stranger because you've been drinking?

17:25 No, I have not.

17:26 Danny Bonaduce That's what's next.

17:27 Drew Is there alcoholism in your family?

17:29 Yes.

17:29 Drew There you go. You guys. You're on your way.

17:32 Why is that in the automatic though?

17:34 Drew Here's the deal. Nicole, you're not ready. That's fine. You're going to go out and you're going to have to convince yourself of what it's going to take before you're willing to make change. And the reality is people don't change until they're ready. You got to keep, don't stop lying to yourself. Realize you are on your way. You've got this thing. It's going to evolve.

17:50 Danny Bonaduce I'll save you a seat, man.

17:52 Drew Yeah.

17:52 Danny Bonaduce There's no rush.

17:53 Drew Yeah. When you're ready. Right now you're not ready. One of the common preoccupations that patients get at alcoholic addicts is how am I ever going to have fun again? How am I ever going to have friends? How am I going to enjoy life? That's what everyone.

18:04 Danny Bonaduce And Nicole, you will never, ever, ever believe me. I'm going to say this to hear my own voice. I've never had the kind of fun I'm having now. I've never in my life. And I don't mean, you know, the times I got drunk and came downstairs naked and made a fool of myself or got in a fight and lost badly. Those terrible nights. I mean, nights where drinking worked great and was so fun. And I was king of the world. I've never had the kind of fun I'm having now. So here's what's going to happen. Nicole, if you don't mind my saying so, please do me a favor and don't die in a car wreck and don't kill anybody in a car wreck. Shy of that, wake up and vomit as often as you need to until you get some help.

18:41 Drew Enjoy. Thank you. And don't have kids. Please take birth control, will you?

18:45 Oh, believe me, I will.

18:47 Drew All right, God bless you. All right, here is... We're so, hope, hope is the word. We spread hope out near and far, don't we?

18:55 Danny Bonaduce You know what it is? You're a doctor and you know the truth.

18:58 Drew Right.

18:58 Danny Bonaduce And I am a full-blown, dying-in-the-wool, drug addict, drunk. And I know what happens. Collectively, it ain't that pretty.

19:05 Drew Alex 20.

19:06 Danny Bonaduce Hey, how's it going, Drew?

19:08 Drew Hey, Alex.

19:08 Danny Bonaduce Hey, Alex.

19:09 Drew Hey, where in Arkansas are you?

19:11 Danny Bonaduce North Little Rock, just about 25 minutes away from Little Rock.

19:15 Drew I'm coming out to Fayetteville in about two weeks, three weeks. University of Arkansas is in Fayetteville.

19:20 Danny Bonaduce I go to Fayetteville every weekend, man.

19:22 Drew There you go. See that big jumbotron there, University of Arkansas. First thing they want to show you. All right, what's going on?

19:28 Danny Bonaduce Well, me and my girl have been together for about two years, right?

19:31 Drew Yeah.

19:32 Danny Bonaduce And when we first got together, sex was great. Every day about six or seven times a day. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

19:38 Danny Bonaduce How old are you?

19:41 Drew Twenty.

19:42 Danny Bonaduce Six or seven times a day?

19:44 Danny Bonaduce If not more.

19:46 Drew Would you have orgasms that many times?

19:49 Danny Bonaduce I usually, yes.

19:51 Drew Oh, man. It's good to be young.

19:54 Danny Bonaduce Unless you're the girl. This poor baby. Was your girlfriend hip to it all six and seven times a day?

20:00 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

20:01 Danny Bonaduce All right, cool. You guys are a match made in heaven.

20:04 Danny Bonaduce Well, so I thought so too. So we were going to... We kept on dating.

20:09 Drew All right, hold on, Alex. Hold on, hold on. I want to keep some suspense here across this commercial break.

20:14 Danny Bonaduce Okay, fair enough.

20:15 Drew The question is something to do with multiple partners or something. Is that what it is? Hold on, so hold on. Alex, we're going to get back to you. I want everyone to check out www.vh1.com. That's where you can get airtimes for Breaking to Bonaduce because it's different for cable and different for satellite.

20:30 Danny Bonaduce It runs like 18 times a week.

20:31 Drew But if you check out vh1.com, you can vote for...

20:35 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I'm up for best new reality star. I can't believe it. Normally, I wouldn't care about winning or losing.

20:41 Drew He wants to win it.

20:41 Danny Bonaduce I'm the announcer. I want to win.

20:43 Drew Let's oblige him.

20:44 Danny Bonaduce Ladies and gentlemen, the winner is me.

20:46 Drew Marco, get on the web. Yeah, get on there.

20:47 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, vh1.com. Vote for me. Best new reality star.

20:50 Drew All right. We're going to be back with Alex and his sixth to seventh time a day sexual appetite. And when things get low, you add another person, whatever. We'll find out. I'm here with Danny Bonaduce. The phone number is 1-800-LOVE-191. And we will be right back.

21:10 Danny Bonaduce Loveline, we'll be right back.

21:17 Drew That's right, Danny Bonaduce from Breaking Bonaduce. He hasn't been heard from in years, Danny Bonaduce. He hasn't been heard from since the Parchage family. But man, he's making up for it now. It's 1-800-LOVE-191. And there's something we were joking about earlier, is that for those of you who don't live in Los Angeles, Danny was on the radio here for years. He was in the other half, four years. There was a third show, what was the other show?

21:37 Danny Bonaduce I did a show called, actually called Danny with an exclamation point for Buena Vista. I did for a year.

21:43 Drew What was that on?

21:44 Danny Bonaduce That was on, I think, well it was syndicated, but I believe it was on NBC.

21:46 Drew It was a talk show? Yeah, a talk show. So all these people would say.

21:49 Danny Bonaduce But it was the talk show on the year when Jenny Jones' guests kind of went a little crazy on each other so nobody could do anything.

21:56 Drew Right, right, right.

21:56 Danny Bonaduce They had this show about, hey, let's do another makeover.

21:58 Drew You know, people don't appreciate how much success and failure in television depends very much on what's happening in the world and in television that year. It's kind of crazy. So serendipity plays more than people would figure. All right, we're going back to Alex who was having sex when they started out with his girlfriend at least, as he puts it, six to seven times per day.

22:18 Danny Bonaduce Yes, and so basically after that, you know, we did that for a while, maybe about four or five, four to five months, and then it started gradually going down to three times a day.

22:33 Poor baby.

22:34 Drew Oh, two times. How did you survive that?

22:36 Danny Bonaduce I know. I just want to see where this ends up. Where does this end up? Where are we going? Yeah, where do we go with this? How many times a day do you end up at this point in your relationship doing it?

22:45 Danny Bonaduce Well, basically what happens is we stopped having sex except for maybe once a week.

22:50 Danny Bonaduce Right.

22:51 Danny Bonaduce And then-

22:52 Danny Bonaduce You know, there's a medical definition for this. It's called life, and this is how it goes, man. Everybody had sex with their girlfriend several times a day for the first six months, and then everybody went down a few, and then everybody went down to once a week. It's just what happens.

23:09 Drew Yeah, people sort of-

23:10 Danny Bonaduce Me and her brother did not see it coming, and then we tried to spice it up by bringing in a girl.

23:16 Drew Oh boy.

23:17 Danny Bonaduce We both knew, and you know, it was actually one of my exes and one of her best friends.

23:22 Danny Bonaduce All right. Let me ask you this. Is that a bad call yet, or is it a bad call waiting to happen?

23:28 Danny Bonaduce Well, when we stopped having sex so much, we started fighting more. And then we talked about spicing up the relationship with this other girl. And so we did. And now each time we have a threesome with this girl, the fighting just seems to go get worse and worse and worse.

23:49 Danny Bonaduce So, in answer to my question, it's a bad call already.

23:52 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

23:53 Drew What's your question?

23:55 Danny Bonaduce My question is, why is it getting so worse so quickly after so long?

23:59 Drew This call has a bogus quality to it, I have to tell you.

24:01 Danny Bonaduce Really?

24:02 Drew There's no question.

24:03 Danny Bonaduce Well, first of all, the six, seven times a day kind of bothers me a little bit.

24:05 Drew Yeah, that too. What's that, Alex?

24:07 Danny Bonaduce It's really not a bogus call, I swear to God.

24:09 Drew So your question is, why does bringing a third person into your intimate relationship cause more fighting?

24:16 Danny Bonaduce Well, because it's not more fighting about that, it's more fighting about everything else.

24:20 Danny Bonaduce No, it's more fighting about that disguised as more fighting about everything else.

24:24 Drew That creates a lot of resentment and turmoil and pain. If your girlfriend is trying to be liberated and cool, then it's going to come out some other way because she can't admit that she's feeling this way.

24:34 Danny Bonaduce It's funny because I have been, in some people's eyes, and this is untrue, I never had money. I'm doing the best I ever did now. But people thought I made $600 a week as Danny Partridge. I never had it in mind.

24:44 Drew But in radio you were doing okay.

24:45 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I did okay. Up until now, I'm doing all right now. But people have thought I was rich and famous my whole life, and therefore that I've done all these wild, crazy sexual things. I have not.

24:54 Drew We haven't left your house in 12 years.

24:56 Danny Bonaduce I had one threesome once. It was 17 years ago.

25:00 Drew Are you complaining now or are we just reporting?

25:03 Danny Bonaduce Yes, I'm complaining now. But B, it was my very best friend and my girlfriend, and the next day when I went to work, and I called my house and my friend answered, and I wigged out. I hated it. I hated everything about it. It was uncomfortable. Nobody ever looked at each other the same way. Threesomes are almost always as fun as they seem. They're almost always a bad idea.

25:23 Drew Unless you're never going to see the people again. It's just some sort of weird thing that happens and enjoy. Even that, people end up oftentimes walking away with some weird feelings.

25:31 Danny Bonaduce Just because sometimes, I found mostly with the women, is are you thinking of her? Which is a weird thing. Who cares? I'm thinking of fire trucks. What do you care? I'm thinking of.

25:43 Drew Here's a question for you, Danny. Here's Mike, who's 18. Mike?

25:46 Danny Bonaduce Hi, Mike.

25:47 Danny Bonaduce Hi, how's it going?

25:48 Drew We're good, man.

25:49 Danny Bonaduce What's up?

25:49 Danny Bonaduce I want to know if I should get a tattoo or not. I'm here at the place right now. I don't know what to do.

25:55 Drew Hold on a second. You went as far as going into the shop, getting up on the chair, and then you want to call Danny to see if you should follow through?

26:01 Danny Bonaduce I don't know if Danny has to think about it.

26:04 Drew What tattoo do you want to get?

26:06 Danny Bonaduce Well, I'm thinking about initials or something crazy. Or maybe I should get Bonaduce, Gio.

26:12 Danny Bonaduce Well, let me tell you this right now in all sincerity. At 18, when I got my first tattoo, somebody said to me, nobody ever gets one tattoo.

26:20 Drew A first tattoo, yeah.

26:21 Danny Bonaduce And they're right. I now have several, most of which I regret. Initials and names, I have seven people's names tattooed on me. I'm not a very good drinker. Jane, who's on my leg, I'll show you. Jane's on my leg.

26:33 I have no clue who that is.

26:35 Danny Bonaduce I swear to God, she's a waitress, yeah.

26:39 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, so I don't know who that is.

26:40 Danny Bonaduce This is Jane right there.

26:41 Drew Oh my God, there it is. Now if you look. It's a bird carrying a...

26:44 Danny Bonaduce Look closely, it's a cover of Dana, who is a girl I do remember.

26:49 Drew So what the hell?

26:50 Danny Bonaduce So Jane was some really good waitress.

26:51 Drew Were you in some sort of weird blackout? You did both names?

26:54 Danny Bonaduce No, no, I had Dana for years because she was my girlfriend.

26:57 Drew Dana was her friend.

26:57 Danny Bonaduce And we broke up, then I got all wasted and met some hot waitress. I hope I've been helpful. So don't get initials. Initials are out unless they're your kids.

27:11 Drew Picture of what?

27:14 Danny Bonaduce Thank you.

27:16 Drew Good times.

27:17 Danny Bonaduce By the way, nowadays for that technology, maybe it's just the artist and it's not technology. You ever seen anybody with pictures of their children or wives on them? Yeah. They're amazing. They're art. Yeah. How the hell do they do that? These guys, you know, they've got spikes through their nose. Yeah. And they're great artists. It's amazing.

27:32 Drew Steve-O has a huge picture of himself. It covers his entire back.

27:36 Danny Bonaduce Really?

27:36 Drew Nice. This is Jose Jose 18.

27:40 Danny Bonaduce Hey, Jose.

27:41 Danny Bonaduce Hi.

27:42 Danny Bonaduce First of all, I just want to say, you got a great show here.

27:45 Drew Thank you, Jose. What's up?

27:46 Danny Bonaduce Okay.

27:47 Danny Bonaduce Well, basically, I'm 18. I wasn't circumcised and I'm thinking about getting it. And I just want to know what's the difference between being circumcised and uncircumcised.

27:58 Drew What's motivating you? Why do you want to get circumcised?

28:01 Danny Bonaduce Curiosity and want basically to...

28:04 Drew Oh, you got this, Danny. He wants... What's motivating him is that he wants to...

28:09 Danny Bonaduce Right. That's your motivation right there. I will tell you, aesthetically speaking, I think they look better circumcised. They just... They look like aardvarks, otherwise. But aside from that, I don't think that there's any medical reason to do it.

28:23 Drew There is absolutely. There's a number of reasons. They aren't absolute. It's not as though you're going to be an unhealthy person if you don't. But A, less likely to get warts.

28:32 Danny Bonaduce Is that genital warts?

28:33 Drew Genital warts.

28:33 Danny Bonaduce Oh, wow.

28:35 Drew Less likely that your partners are going to get cervical cancer. So actually worldwide, people are advocating circumcision because of that.

28:41 Danny Bonaduce Wow. I didn't know that at all. And I know stuff.

28:44 Drew Very common for there to be sort of tears in the foreskin. And that causes further narrowing and tightness. You can't get the head out. That's a pain. Cleanliness, issues of yeast and things like that can occur underneath. And this whole argument that having the foreskin makes you more sensitive, I'm not sure is really true.

29:01 Danny Bonaduce I'm not sure that's true either.

29:02 Drew And if it is true, the number one complaint I get on this show is that people are having orgasm too quickly. Right. So the last thing you want is more sensitivity anyway.

29:10 Danny Bonaduce That's exactly right. Now, I used to recommend this when I was younger or when I was on the radio and people would call up and say, and I found out I was wrong, and you'll probably know why, Doc, if this is in fact true. People would call up and say, I have this terrible problem with premature ejaculation. And I would say, wear two condoms.

29:25 Drew Oh yeah. There are extra thick condoms you can get. Yeah, but wearing two makes them more likely to break.

29:29 Danny Bonaduce To break. I didn't know that. I thought I was like this sage Yoda sex master. But yeah, apparently they break.

29:36 Drew There will be a medication coming, probably within six months, that will- No, no. That does work though, a little bit too.

29:41 Danny Bonaduce Lidocaine does work.

29:42 Drew And some of the condoms, I think Trojan has a brand that has a lidocaine, xylocaine cream in it. But there's a pill that you can take. Only lasts like 10 minutes, the pill in your system, and it will delay ejaculation during that time.

29:52 Danny Bonaduce During that 10 minutes?

29:53 Drew Yeah.

29:53 Danny Bonaduce And by the way, if you're as busy as I am, because I'm a three pack a day smoker, 10 minutes is plenty. I'm hacking.

29:58 Drew I'm hacking.

29:59 Danny Bonaduce It ain't me. I'm coughing and the romance is over.

30:01 Drew Plus, you need to get back to your next cigarette.

30:02 Danny Bonaduce Right. Excuse me, miss, I'll be smoking. Some smoke afterwards, I smoke during. I hope you don't mind, lady.

30:08 Drew Are you worried about that?

30:10 Danny Bonaduce What?

30:10 Drew That I smoked? Yeah. Three pack a day. No.

30:14 Danny Bonaduce No.

30:16 Danny Bonaduce What?

30:16 Drew Three packs a day?

30:17 Danny Bonaduce And I don't worry about it? What do you think the odds are? And I don't mean to be modeling, but this is a serious question. What do you think the odds are of cancer getting me?

30:27 Drew I know. I understand the way you're asking that question. After you pass 50 pack years, yeah, so the number of packs per day times number of years, when that number exceeds 50, you're going to start getting a risk. And if it's on shore, I'm in real serious risk. But what about heart disease?

30:41 Danny Bonaduce I drive strokes. I drive a Suzuki Jigsaw 750, the fastest street bike in the world.

30:46 Drew It's going to get you first.

30:47 Danny Bonaduce I'm going to get so maxed by a bus that this is all, you know, academic.

30:51 Drew A lot of addicts think that way, that I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die.

30:54 Danny Bonaduce Well, first of all, I used to think that then people kept failing to kill me, which really bothered me, because I have a plan.

31:00 Drew But do you think there's a drive, like addicts have more of a drive to death?

31:03 Danny Bonaduce No, I think addicts have more of a drive to life and we just do it faster.

31:07 Drew And so because the drive to live is so powerful, something gets in the way because it's risky to live life that fully.

31:12 Danny Bonaduce I know that when I'm doing, like when I was doing morning radio, there's no one on the freeway, so I would see how fast I could go on my motorcycle, which was usually top speed about 165. But every now and again when I'd hit from the five to the 134, there'd be a truck or something and they cause a real wind. There's a real thing that happens. And when your bike wobbles at 160, you never felt so alive.

31:34 Drew 160 miles an hour? But that's your attic brain going zing zing zing.

31:38 Danny Bonaduce And I would go into work and do a smoking ass show.

31:40 Drew How'd you like doing radio?

31:41 Danny Bonaduce I love doing radio. Radio's what I do. I've got all these television gigs. I can't believe the offers I have. From breaking Bonaduce, I'm like a savage in this friggin show. I can't believe anybody would even... You know, people want to eat with me. I can't believe they'd put knives on the table anywhere near me.

31:55 Drew You know, I don't think they fully understand what they're watching.

31:58 Danny Bonaduce They're making me all these offers, but radio's what I do. I want to go back to radio so bad.

32:02 Drew It's the greatest medium in the world. All right, here's Josh21.

32:06 Danny Bonaduce Hey, Josh.

32:07 Danny Bonaduce Yeah.

32:08 Danny Bonaduce What's up, buddy?

32:09 Danny Bonaduce Well, I got married in May.

32:13 Danny Bonaduce Congratulations.

32:15 Danny Bonaduce Well, it would be congratulations, except that my wife has a... She had a kid prior to our relationship, and I kind of came into the relationship a little later after she had a kid at about four months. And she had a problem with postpartum depression at that point. And I thought she worked through it.

32:37 Drew Worked through it? It's a biological thing.

32:39 Danny Bonaduce Well, I understand that.

32:41 Drew You thought she got through it.

32:42 Caller She got through it.

32:44 Danny Bonaduce Anyway, so we got married.

32:46 Danny Bonaduce We had a kid.

32:48 Danny Bonaduce And this was three months ago. My son's three months old.

32:51 Danny Bonaduce And how old is the son? How old is the child before that one?

32:54 Danny Bonaduce He's 19 months.

32:57 Danny Bonaduce He's 19 months and a three months. And you wonder why your wife's crabby.

33:01 Danny Bonaduce I understand. Now believe me, I do understand that. But anyway, we got married and a month after she had our son, she cheated on me.

33:12 Drew And one month after delivery, was she still breastfeeding? And that's all that kind of good stuff?

33:18 Danny Bonaduce Yeah.

33:18 Danny Bonaduce Oh, wow, man. That's no, no, no.

33:21 Danny Bonaduce Actually, she was breastfeeding. I'm sorry. She never even started breastfeeding. I was immediately after she had the baby. She basically just started going out and partying.

33:31 Danny Bonaduce And she's a drug addict.

33:33 Drew She's a drug addict.

33:34 Danny Bonaduce No, no drugs, just alcohol, a lot of alcohol, whatever.

33:37 Drew Whatever addict she is.

33:39 Danny Bonaduce If she had a baby, she's lactating, not feeding the baby naturally and going out at night.

33:43 Drew And getting loaded.

33:44 Danny Bonaduce There is a maternal instinct that will overpower almost anything. And if it doesn't, whatever it's not overpowering is definitely a bad thing.

33:55 Drew And powerful. Yeah, and very powerful. And so her addiction and she, it all, the story again, smacks of trauma that she's got a lot of chaos in her life. She likes to bring chaos in. She's drinking, she's using, and this is bad times. Josh, how old is she?

34:10 Danny Bonaduce 21.

34:11 Drew Why do you feel the need? I mean, you're going in there trying to rescue someone from a postpartum depression with a four month old child. You're, you know, the knight in the shining armor rushing in there. Where did you become such a saver, a rescuer?

34:25 Danny Bonaduce What's that?

34:26 Drew Why are you such a rescuer?

34:27 Danny Bonaduce I don't know. I've always had a problem with codependency my whole life.

34:30 Drew Oh, boy.

34:31 Danny Bonaduce Oh, man.

34:32 Danny Bonaduce A 21 to throw out the word codependency means somebody told him.

34:35 Drew Yeah.

34:35 Danny Bonaduce He's been around and knows this to be true. Good for you.

34:38 Drew Is this to your mom or your dad or where to start?

34:41 Danny Bonaduce It started with my mom.

34:43 Drew Is she an alcoholic?

34:44 Danny Bonaduce No, but my dad is.

34:46 Drew And what was mom? Depressed or something?

34:49 Danny Bonaduce Mom was never actually an addict to anything. Actually, she did start to become, she has started to become more of an addict. She drinks a lot now, but she didn't.

34:56 Drew All right. So you're busily taking care of your family members, taking care of everybody else in the family system, not being able to really attend to your own needs. And now you found someone to attach that behavior to.

35:05 Danny Bonaduce Which is kind of how I looked at the situation from the very beginning. I just wasn't really having control over it.

35:10 Drew All right. All right. All right. Fair enough.

35:12 Danny Bonaduce This is one of the reasons I, and one of the many reasons I'm not just, I hate the expression blowing smoke with a stupid expression, but this is not just a veiled compliment to you, it's a direct compliment to you. You're able to see a bigger picture than I am able to see. What I see is a kid, the girl, 21, who now has two children, another child, a 21 year old guy, who has jumped in this, they've got a cheater, they've got a woman who is not naturally feeding her baby but going out at night, and a kid who knows he's codependent. See, I only see the small, that nucleus of that family, and I see disaster.

35:47 Drew Oh, absolutely.

35:48 Danny Bonaduce I see disaster.

35:49 Drew So what do they do?

35:51 Danny Bonaduce I'm not sure, that's why I wanted to compliment you on being able to see that whole big picture, because I didn't see their families, I didn't see their moms, I didn't see their dads, I saw the chaos. I saw the toys all over the floor, the dirty diapers, the open food cans.

36:01 Drew It's all the same. We're both seeing the same thing. You're just looking at it with a little more of a microscope, and I'm sort of stepping back a little bit, looking where it came from. And Josh, there's only one way, well, oh man, this isn't going to get better without intervention, without treatment, without help. And I think the first step, you seem motivated, you seem interested, you seem smart, get your ass to an Al Anon meeting, grab a sponsor, start working the steps, and you'll be surprised. In my experience, when there's a using addict who really is not done, the thing that catches their attention more than anything else is a spouse or a relationship, a partner in co-dependency recovery. And you know you've been struggling with this a long time, your family of origin, it's a mess, God knows you have a million things you can work on, for yourself, not just to bring the wife around, but for yourself. Go do it. If you can't do that, get a therapist, start doing some treatment.

36:55 Danny Bonaduce And you know, cause you're a young man, let me just say this in all sincerity, I fancy myself, I mean I'm a radio guy, and you see me on TV and stuff like that, but if you ask me what are you, I'd say I'm a tough guy, I'm a hard guy, that's what I do, that's who I am. And I will tell you right now, as a hard guy and a tough guy, I would run to therapy. It's one of the best things that ever happened, cause I thought, pardon the sexist expression, therapy is for girls, we're going to therapy, how do you feel about that?

37:23 Drew When did that change for you?

37:24 Danny Bonaduce When it started to help, when things got better.

37:26 Drew Yeah.

37:27 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, you know it's-

37:27 Drew And by the way, therapy is just somebody sitting there listening to you, that's all it is.

37:30 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, it really is.

37:31 Drew Sorry, if you like talking about yourself.

37:33 Danny Bonaduce And every now and again he goes, oh, that's good. And you go, oh bitch, thank you.

37:37 Drew What does that mean to you? Yeah. Really, have you thought about that? All right, listen, vh1.com VOTE, he's in the Danny Bonaduce in the Big in 05 Awards. He's up against Tommy Lee, Bo Bice.

37:49 Danny Bonaduce How does Bo Bice? What is that?

37:50 Drew The Dancing with Stars stars, the Bounty Hunter stars. I think Danny deserves to win this category.

37:57 Danny Bonaduce I'd like to change it to beating in 05 and go up against the dog and just slug it out. Toughest guy wins. Because I like the dog a lot.

38:03 Drew The dog is pretty rough.

38:04 Danny Bonaduce The dog is rough, man. I take the dog.

38:06 Drew All right. The phone number here on Loveline is 1-800-LOVE-191. Our guest tonight from Breaking Bonaduce is Danny Bonaduce. And he's a very quiet guy. You got to get to bring him out of his shell. So I want you guys to come up with some good questions to bring him along tonight. We'll be right back.

38:22 Danny Bonaduce Loveline will be right back. Right back.

38:27 Drew Danny Bonaduce here on Loveline 1-800-LOVE-191. Thank you for joining us, Danny. Breaking Bonaduce. Check your local listings or go to vh1.com for airtimes. You can no longer say, you know, NBC at 9 o'clock. If you're on cable, you better figure out when to set your TiVo or whatever.

38:43 Danny Bonaduce When I did the show, because I've never seen a single episode of Breaking Bonaduce, because I remember about two thirds of it, I think, right? But I do remember being violent, mean, and drunk, and crying, and naked a lot. So I decided I wasn't going to watch it at all. But then I had to do the voiceovers for it and say, Breaking Bonaduce, 10 o'clock, 11 Central. I was like, I knew the worst day of my life was coming, and at exactly what time.

39:10 Drew It was awful. Talk to me a little bit about your feelings about having been in front of the camera during all that. I mean, everyone wonders, everyone has an opinion about what it's doing to you, or what it must have felt like, or they're offended, or they feel it's unethical. You're the one that experienced it. What do you feel?

39:26 Danny Bonaduce I don't feel that any of those things are accurate or unfair. I think it's unethical if I force you to watch it. You know, just like you hear all about the censorship of any kind. I changed the channel, so I don't feel that.

39:36 Drew Do you think that your wife was jeopardized or exploited or anything? Do you feel that the doctor exploited you by being on camera with you, or your privacy issues were violated?

39:44 Danny Bonaduce I think if anybody exploited me, it was me.

39:47 Drew But you were loaded. Your brain wasn't working right.

39:49 Danny Bonaduce I wasn't loaded when I sold the show.

39:51 Drew But as you went down, as things started evolving, it wasn't like you were in a position to rationally consent to what was going on. You could have easily looked back on it and went, God, what I did there is f'ed up my sobriety. Because I feel horrible and ashamed now, and I can't get sober because I'm drinking still because I feel so awful about what went on. And fortunately, you don't.

40:13 Danny Bonaduce First of all, I wasn't sober when we started. It's not like I was sober when we started. I showed up at my house and I was wasted. Which is like a bad way to do television. And unless you're Dean Martin sitting on cars and smoking a cigarette, telling some cool story, you shouldn't be drunk on TV.

40:28 Drew How did they do that?

40:28 Danny Bonaduce How did they do that? I don't know.

40:29 Drew I'm kind of mad. But were you in the other half you were loaded?

40:32 Danny Bonaduce No, never. I've never actually gone to work high ever. I've done, I think I may have suffered a job from being hungover, maybe not. I've never missed a day of work, ever. I've never been sick. I've never been late.

40:45 Drew You were just sort of in a steady state.

40:46 Danny Bonaduce I'm super high functioning.

40:47 Drew But you were in sort of a steady state using in those times. What was your main drug back then?

40:52 Danny Bonaduce Alcohol was the do all end all. You know what's funny? With all the big, bad, nasty drugs that are out there, alcohol is by far the worst, by far.

41:00 Drew Yeah, in terms of the impact on most people.

41:02 Danny Bonaduce I know heroin guys. Heroin guys, they sit in their room, they shoot heroin, and they go, wow. And crackheads sit and look for the cops out the window. Yes. But drunks grab the keys to the car and say, let's go. Yes. And then something terrible always happens. Alcohol is the bad one, in my estimation.

41:16 Drew Alcohol and tobacco are the two, number one, number two. In terms of really hurting people, they are. It's interesting you mentioned the police with cocaine. Cocaine addicts always get a paranoid preoccupation with the police. Uniformed officers. Uniformed officers.

41:28 Danny Bonaduce The DEA was out.

41:29 Drew Yeah, somebody in uniform.

41:30 Danny Bonaduce The mailman worked for the DEA and I knew it.

41:32 Drew And they're always in the bushes and in the trees.

41:35 Danny Bonaduce You know what was horrible? I was in Florida one time, and I think 85. I was telling this guy I was with, dude, there's cops in those trees. And he said, Danny, you always think there's cops in those trees. I said, there's cops in that mailbox. He said, you always think there's cops in those trees. And I was right. They jumped out of the trees and ran from behind the mailbox and the rest of them took us down.

41:54 Drew Wow.

41:54 Danny Bonaduce I hate being right sometimes.

41:56 Drew Kelly's 23. Kelly, what's going on?

41:57 Danny Bonaduce Hi, Kelly.

41:58 Danny Bonaduce Hey, woohoo, another redhead.

42:00 Danny Bonaduce Right on. Woohoo.

42:02 Danny Bonaduce Redheads have more fun than blondes, I swear.

42:04 Danny Bonaduce I agree with you.

42:05 Woohoo.

42:08 Drew There we go, Kelly.

42:08 Danny Bonaduce So let's start this fun-o now.

42:12 Danny Bonaduce Nothing. My boyfriend is like a downer.

42:16 Drew What's happening?

42:17 Danny Bonaduce He's, well, we've been going out for a little less than a year. And, well, we hadn't, like, we had messed around and stuff a little bit. We hadn't, like, really gotten into, like, having major sex or anything.

42:34 Danny Bonaduce When you say major sex.

42:36 Drew Which means intercourse.

42:37 Danny Bonaduce Okay, you haven't actually had sex. It's nothing like wearing epaulettes, and it's major sex. It's, you haven't had sex of any kind.

42:43 Drew That would be general sex.

42:44 Oh, sorry.

42:45 Danny Bonaduce I'm sorry. Pardon me.

42:46 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, we haven't had, like, intercourse or anything.

42:48 Drew You still have not.

42:51 Crap.

42:52 Danny Bonaduce Right.

42:53 Drew What is your question, Kelly? Let's get to it. Here we go.

42:55 Danny Bonaduce He's a foot fetish-er.

42:57 Drew Cool.

42:58 Danny Bonaduce No. Gross. No. Nasty.

43:03 Danny Bonaduce Um, in his foot fetish, does he need you to do anything? Like, does he need your feet to be just taken out of shoes you've been in all day, or does he want them clean?

43:10 Drew Or do the feet have to go into places he'd rather not put them?

43:13 Danny Bonaduce He doesn't care?

43:14 Danny Bonaduce He doesn't care. He wants to, like, lick them and suck them and all that kind of stuff, and I'm like, whatever. No. You know what?

43:21 Danny Bonaduce If you wash them, I don't think that you should have that big of a problem. It's nothing that I'm personally into, but I have had a girl do it to me, and it felt nice.

43:27 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, but see, I want him to, like, go down on me. Right.

43:31 Drew Here's the problem. He's so focused on his foot fetish that there's no reciprocity, and she's not turned on by him sucking on feet, and now there's nothing.

43:39 Danny Bonaduce Okay, gotcha. I'm with you now. My apologies.

43:41 Danny Bonaduce I want him to go down on me, and he's like, uh, no, ew, gross.

43:48 Danny Bonaduce That's just funny to me. I'm sorry, Doc.

43:53 Drew Well, Kelly, maybe this relationship is, I mean, here's the deal about relationships. You have to be able to be reciprocal. You have to be able to do it together.

44:01 Caller I told him if he would go down on me, I'd go down on him.

44:04 Danny Bonaduce It's like, no problem, you know, 50-50, hey.

44:07 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, when does Monty Hall come in and tell you to pick door number three? You shouldn't, this is not love. If you do this for me, I'll do this for you. This is bargaining.

44:16 Drew Right.

44:17 Danny Bonaduce This is trying to get a better deal in Tijuana.

44:19 Caller I told him, I'm one of these gals, I get into it, you know, I go crazy about it.

44:24 Drew Kelly, here's the deal. He's not hearing you. You guys are speaking like two different languages. One of the problem with fetishes is that it becomes a preoccupation and takes you away from the relationship. So he's interested in sucking on your feet. He's not interested in you. He's not interested in what you want. He's not interested in doing anything different. He's not interested in the relationship. He's interested in his fetish. And in fact, the reality probably is that he can't function without the fetish. And so you doing things like oral sex on him probably don't even interest him unless it includes the whole foot thing.

44:50 Danny Bonaduce See, I've wondered about that with the fetish thing, Doc. Cause I don't, it's one of the weird things of all the weird stuff I do. I don't have any.

44:56 Drew No fetish.

44:57 Danny Bonaduce No, I don't want, a girl I dated not too long ago, long ago, I've been married a while, you should say spank me, spank me. It was like, no, you're having sex with me. I love you. Why would I want to hit you? Shut up. You know, people, I go to this club called The Dragonfly every now and again. I don't know, like Friday or Saturday, whatever night it is. There's girls and they don't hurt each other, but they've got those cat-of-nine tales. It's like, why? What is the possible turn on with that? Let's just kiss and hug and have lots and lots and lots and lots of sex.

45:24 Drew We're going to start the next segment with a discussion of the cat-of-nine tales and why.

45:28 Danny Bonaduce Okay.

45:28 Drew Because there is a little bit to it.

45:29 Danny Bonaduce Is there?

45:30 Drew Yeah, a little bit. So Danny Bonaduce from Breaking Bonaduce, the phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191-1-800-LOVE-191. I'm Dr. Drew. Danny and I will be right back.

45:40 Danny Bonaduce Alright, guys, here's the deal. You looking to hook up, sick of wasting time with the wrong person?

45:45 One call's all you need to make.

45:47 Danny Bonaduce Call the Dateline.

45:48 877-889-DATE.

45:50 Caller Call the Dateline.

46:06 Drew Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191. I guess we're done with Kelly and that whole foot fetish thing. Sorry about that, Kelly. It sounds like that relationship was not meant to survive.

46:16 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, if that's the do-all, end-all, if your toes are the do-all, end-all, you need a new guy.

46:20 Drew And here's the deal. If somebody does not acknowledge you or what you want or care about that or value that, that's not a relationship.

46:28 Danny Bonaduce No, if this little piggy is pornography, he's the wrong guy.

46:32 Drew Now, we were talking about the cat of nine tails, isn't that right?

46:34 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, because I don't get any of that.

46:36 Drew I don't get it either. I also don't get the dirty thing. Like, we got to be dirty and do bad things. Do you get that?

46:43 Danny Bonaduce It depends on how dirty or how bad.

46:44 Drew For instance, I understand the whole anal sex thing. There's a big preoccupation with that. And some of the callers, things will tell me that, well, it's because it's nasty, it's wrong. So that makes you want...

46:57 Danny Bonaduce No, see, I can understand a little bit of that.

46:59 Drew You get that.

46:59 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I can understand the compulsion to do something I know is wrong.

47:02 Drew Where do you think that comes from? Is that just the thrill of that?

47:05 Danny Bonaduce I really, I don't know on that because it's not just a sexual thing.

47:08 Drew Yeah.

47:08 Danny Bonaduce I do things that I know are wrong as long as they do no harm. I'm not, I'm surprisingly not big on harming anyone else.

47:16 Drew Yeah.

47:16 Danny Bonaduce But as long as they do know, intentionally, as long as they do no harm to others, I am often compelled to do bad things. I had an assistant when I worked in Chicago Radio and he said whenever I would do a really good show, he would let me steal office equipment and then he would come to my house the next day and return it.

47:35 Drew That's awesome. That's awesome. So the whipping thing, what I find that fetish for the most part is a remnant of having been physically abused in your childhood. What happens to our brains, we have these experiences of powerlessness, whether it's sexual abuse or physical abuse or just emotional abuse, that becomes a source of attraction in adults and very often it's eroticized, it's sexual attraction. And so the only way you can sort of experience that deep feeling of arousal is by bringing back that horrible feeling. Some of that is because the high levels of arousal that are developed as a result of being physically abused sort of, let's say, burns out the arousal center, overstimulates them. So in order to feel aroused again, you have to kind of bring back those same kinds of mechanisms.

48:20 Danny Bonaduce The one time I have seen it and...

48:23 Drew It was soft.

48:24 Danny Bonaduce It was real soft, and it was real soft. There was also smoke, and it was...

48:28 Drew That's just bringing out imagery. That's for people that like that kind of thing. It's suggesting what they might get into.

48:33 Danny Bonaduce It's a suggestion of what you're talking about. By the way, did you know that there's a serious hepatitis problem with that?

48:40 Drew With the...

48:41 Danny Bonaduce The cat of nine tails is cutting people, and they're not washing them.

48:43 Drew So you're getting hep C or hep B?

48:44 Danny Bonaduce Hep C.

48:45 Drew Very interesting. Molly, 21. Molly, what's up?

48:47 Caller Hey, I called a couple of years ago for some advice about getting on methadone. Yeah. And I just wanted to call back because you said to call and check in. I just got off of maintenance. It'll be five months on Monday.

49:03 Drew Congratulations.

49:05 Caller Yeah, thank you. I'm at Sonoma State University studying chemistry now. Cool.

49:11 Drew Getting on methadone is no small task.

49:13 Danny Bonaduce Right. But jumping into chemicals is not necessarily the best major.

49:21 Drew It could be inorganic chemistry. It doesn't have to be pharmacology.

49:25 Danny Bonaduce I'm going to work for Pfizer right after this show, Doc. No, I'm sorry. What was your last maintenance dose? What was your dose at maintenance?

49:34 What?

49:35 Danny Bonaduce What was your dose at maintenance?

49:37 At the highest...

49:39 Drew 120?

49:40 Caller Yeah.

49:41 Drew That's sort of a typical maintenance dose these days. Really? Yeah.

49:45 Caller Well, I started at 50 because it's part of the reason I called before was I didn't want to be one of those people who was stuck on it, you know?

49:54 Drew You know, I remember. I remember your call.

49:57 Caller And so, actually, the counselors sat me down a bunch of times, you know, to convince me that I needed to raise my dose because I was still coming in sick every day. Yeah. But I got a lot of help from a lot of really great people. And, you know, some other bad things happened in between then. My mom died of an overdose and I was kidnapped. So that stuff's, like, harder to do right now.

50:20 Danny Bonaduce I was going to say this always happens, but the kidnap threw a wrench in there.

50:23 Drew Kidnap? What the hell was that?

50:25 Caller Yeah. Traumatic.

50:27 Danny Bonaduce Although when you're hanging with heroin dealers, that's not necessarily...

50:30 Drew You're right. You're right. It's a mitzvah when you're running.

50:34 Danny Bonaduce How long have you been clean now?

50:37 It will...

50:37 Caller Well, I got...

50:38 Danny Bonaduce I mean, 100% clean of chemicals.

50:41 Including methadone?

50:42 Caller Yeah. Five months on Monday.

50:45 Drew That's good. That's huge.

50:46 Danny Bonaduce And how's the life turning out? How's it going? Has the physical pain stopped?

50:51 Caller Well, I feel a lot of physical pain now that I never really remember feeling before. Like I just, I have a cold and it's just, it feels like almost as bad as before.

51:03 Danny Bonaduce Okay. Here's what I want you to do.

51:04 Drew Molly, that's going to get better.

51:05 Danny Bonaduce Here's what I want you to do as a favor to yourself. If you can, I know some of these things sound like insane, but I mean, when you call up and you say, Hey, I'm all hooked on drugs. You are so talking to the right guy. So when I tell you this, I really want you to believe me.

51:20 You're a heroin addict.

51:21 Danny Bonaduce When you get a cold and you feel a thousand times worse than you could ever imagine, it's just the stifled feelings you've always had. What that means is you're going to feel a hundred times better than you've ever felt. All your feelings are coming back and I promise you, it's going to be great.

51:38 Drew Excellent. Good luck, Molly. Congratulations. That coming off methadone is just awful.

51:43 Danny Bonaduce Have you seen Methodonia?

51:44 Drew No, I'm not. That's amazing. But I've dealt with a lot of methadone addicts and the physical pain is exactly the issue with methadone. They have backache and leg pain and headaches and sleep disturbances and that takes about a year to really get back to normal. Let's see. This is now Paige, who's 20.

51:58 Danny Bonaduce Hi, Paige.

52:00 Danny Bonaduce Hi.

52:01 Drew You're on with Danny Bonaduce.

52:02 Danny Bonaduce Danny, I love your show.

52:04 I watch it all the time.

52:06 Danny Bonaduce Oh, thank you very much.

52:07 I love it. I love it. Thank you. Okay. Well, Dr. Drew, I've called in the past year. Okay. And okay. I'm a mess and I need a lot of help. I've tried therapy for five years. I went to my first addictive love addiction, sex addiction meeting yesterday. And I've gone to a couple of AA meetings, although I've never touched the drug. I don't smoke, don't smoke pot, rarely drink. My issue is, I'm in a relationship.

52:41 Drew Dan, Dan is handing you off to me.

52:42 Caller I sure am.

52:43 Drew You're not doing drugs, he doesn't understand you. So what's happening?

52:47 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, okay.

52:48 Caller I'm in a relationship. I realize all the bad aspects of it, yet I still, I feel like I have to get out of it. I feel like I have to, otherwise I'm going straight down. I've cut myself over this relationship. I've just stayed in bed for days and days.

53:04 Drew What is your question?

53:08 Caller I feel stuck.

53:10 Drew You can't break it.

53:12 Caller I can't. I have to get out of it.

53:14 Drew Have you ever been in a psychiatric hospital before?

53:16 Caller Yeah, I have three times.

53:17 Drew Do you have a borderline personality disorder?

53:20 Caller No, I don't.

53:21 Drew Has that been suggested?

53:23 Caller I've had mead or depression.

53:25 Drew But no one's ever suggested a personality problem?

53:27 Caller No.

53:28 Drew You're sure of that?

53:29 Caller Yeah, 100 percent positive.

53:32 Drew Hmm, because this all sounds like borderline stuff. All right.

53:35 Danny Bonaduce Well, I'll tell you, I went to rehab in most rehabs. As I'm sure Dr. Drew knows, they're not just drug addicts and drunks. There's bulimics, there's anorexics.

53:44 Drew They're all together. Yeah.

53:45 Danny Bonaduce The last rehab I was in, that's embarrassing to say, the last rehab I was in, I was in with a cutter and she was the nicest, most polite young lady. And boy, I had everybody figured out but her. I could not understand why this lovely young lady caught herself. Right. I just never got it.

54:02 Drew She had a private eating disorder too.

54:04 Danny Bonaduce Yes, she did.

54:04 Drew Yeah. That's a certain person and they're usually very nice, very pleasant to be around.

54:09 Danny Bonaduce She was a lovely young lady. I felt terrible for her.

54:10 Drew I feel very empty on the inside of those folks. Well, Paige, look, these are significant and serious mental health issues. The kinds of chaotic relationship you're describing, the kind of stuckness in the relationship is a very serious symptom. People hurt themselves because of these kinds of relationships. I do suggest you get back to your therapist and start following direction. I suspect that in the past, you've been calling your own shots and doing it on your own terms. Go back and throw yourself on the mercy of the process and really follow direction. A 12-step, actually, even though you're not an addict, I like that you went to sex and love addicts or even SA, because 12-step can really help people like you, even though you're not specifically a chemical addict, the 12-step process does help with the kinds of things you're talking about.

54:58 Danny Bonaduce I've found, you know what, I don't know, because I go to these meetings constantly, I mean, every day, often three times a day, and the second A does stand for anonymous. I want to be careful because I don't want to offend anyone. But there is a book that comes along with this process that I have found with almost any malady you have, this particular book. They call it the big book. It could be beneficial. It's one of the most well-written books I've had the pleasure of reading and I've read a lot.

55:25 Drew You have to really do it, though. Yes, you do. You can't breeze through it. New, new. This now is, whoops, wrong number. This is Zach, 19.

55:35 Danny Bonaduce Hey, Zach.

55:36 Hi. How are you doing? Good. What's up? Good. I have a question for Danny, actually. I'm right here, man. I saw you on Breaking Bonaduce and you were actually practicing some sort of, well, definitely some sort of martial arts. I was wondering what form, who you study under and how long you've been studying.

55:56 Danny Bonaduce Well, at that particular, if I was in a karate studio, that was a Kempo studio in my neighborhood, but I hold a third, whoa, I hold a third degree black belt.

56:05 Drew Was that us or was that Zach?

56:06 No, that was not me.

56:08 Danny Bonaduce I hold a third degree black belt in Okinawa and Chido-Ru and two first degree black belts, one in Tung Chido and one in Taekwondo.

56:15 Wow.

56:15 Danny Bonaduce Which means when I'm drunk and angry, it's a really bad thing.

56:21 Drew Do you box, too, or anything?

56:22 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I do box. I don't have the wind for it, though. You know, the karate and stuff, it's all like, you know, working out in the studio, doing your forms and your katas and all that. First time I ever boxed, I ran out of gas in about 45 seconds. That's hard.

56:34 Drew So you would leave the house to go do karate, do martial arts.

56:37 Danny Bonaduce No, I hadn't done that. And I studied karate from the time, every single day from the time I was 10 to about the time I was 28. Wow. And then pretty much everything stopped. I went indoors.

56:46 Drew You started to isolate. I went indoors. Do you have agoraphobia?

56:49 Danny Bonaduce I don't think so. I don't believe so. You just don't like going out. This was my theory and I know it's crazy and I'm over it now. As a matter of fact, I'm actually in a little bit of an argument because of the opposite of this. I said to my doctor and to my wife who wanted me to go out and make friends, I said, I don't want to. Every single person I need to know, I'm married to, I'm good. I don't need anybody else but Gretchen. She's the only person I need to know. They forced me outdoors. It turns out it's really fun. There's a lot of stuff going on.

57:17 Drew Can you see how doing that to Gretchen is a little bit unfair?

57:20 Danny Bonaduce Yes, I didn't see it. I saw her as unfair as, why don't you love this? Why don't you go, oh my God, all he wants to do is worship me because that's what I mean. She's in my eyes, I'm a flawed human being, a seriously flawed human being.

57:33 Drew Get her in here tomorrow night.

57:34 Danny Bonaduce You know what, she's fabulous, she'd love to. She is not a flawed human being. She is, I used to say flawless and then everybody yelled at me. She's barely flawed, how's that? And I just wanted to sit around and worship her because I knew I couldn't go out and duplicate her actions. My leaving the house wasn't going to help anybody, nothing was going to get better because I met anybody. My wife leaves the house, nice things happen to people. I just wanted to do no harm.

57:58 Drew Do you like people?

58:01 Danny Bonaduce Yes and no. I like people who come and go saw your show, I think you're the best, and I go dude thanks man.

58:06 Drew It's not no, it's not no.

58:08 Danny Bonaduce It's not no.

58:09 Drew And where did you and your wife meet?

58:11 Danny Bonaduce My wife and I met in Phoenix.

58:14 Drew What were you doing?

58:14 Danny Bonaduce We were on a blind date.

58:16 Drew Blind date?

58:16 Danny Bonaduce Oh, you don't know this?

58:17 Drew No, no.

58:19 Danny Bonaduce We were on a blind date and got married that night. That was 15 years ago.

58:23 Drew Was it a blind date or a blackout date?

58:25 Danny Bonaduce No, it was a blind date, I remember it clearly. We went out on a date, it was an excellent date, and I was drinking heavily. I just assumed she was drinking heavily. I got us thrown out of a bar, which is always the sign of a good date for me. We went back to my house and I put the moves on her, and she said, you know what, I should have mentioned this earlier, I'm a Christian and I'm not prepared to do that till I'm married. I said, hey, you could have mentioned that before I paid for dinner. Then I thought, well, that's not unreasonable. So I opened the whole pages of ministers.

58:53 Drew Let's get married.

58:53 Danny Bonaduce Called one, married her 15 years ago.

58:56 Drew It worked.

58:56 Danny Bonaduce It totally worked. I love her more than my next breath.

58:59 Drew Somebody else wants to kiss your ass here is Stacey 35.

59:02 Danny Bonaduce Hi, Stacey.

59:03 Danny Bonaduce Hey, I just wanted to tell you how inspiring your show is. And it's funny because I was even going to go on the web and try and find you and send you an email. Like how there was this one point where you said, you know, hey, really raw and you said, hey, I need to make sure that I have a job after this show.

59:22 Danny Bonaduce Right.

59:23 Danny Bonaduce And it was really, you know, you were just speaking to the camera guy, the producer, and I thought, you know, I really hope that this brings you success because it's so awesome what you're doing and that you're letting us all watch it. And it's just, I hope you know that it really touches so many people.

59:42 Danny Bonaduce Well, I will tell you the truth. I did not know that. My wife told me that as it started. My wife said, this is going to help people. And as a matter of fact, have you watched the show kind of with some frequency?

59:53 Danny Bonaduce Every, yeah, I Kivo it.

59:54 Danny Bonaduce Okay, so do you remember an episode where my wife says, I think the show is going to help people and the camera pulls on to me and I look at the camera and I say, this show is not going to help anybody. It's a piece of crap reality show. Just pay me. Do you remember me saying that?

1:00:08 Danny Bonaduce Absolutely, absolutely.

1:00:10 Danny Bonaduce Well, that's what I believed was going to happen. But now the amount of mail I get plus, as Dr. Drew knows, I'm on a list of people who help other people and I'm the third guy. So if the first two people don't answer, I jump in the car, pick up two other guys, we go pick up a drunk and we take them to the right place. Oh, hell yes. I'm in. I am in, Doc. Good for you. So I actually now have to believe my wife and you. And thank you so much that I really do think somebody got help.

1:00:34 Danny Bonaduce And it's not just to kiss your ass. I just think that it is so raw and so real. And I have like really bad panic disorder. And so I watched you go in to rehab and how hard it was for you. And I was like, you know, that's sort of what I think I have to do to get through anxiety. And it's part of my question, I didn't really have a question, but now that I'm on, it's like, do you believe that panic attacks are curable, quote unquote?

1:01:01 Drew Absolutely.

1:01:02 Danny Bonaduce Absolutely.

1:01:03 Drew I had panic attacks when I was in college.

1:01:04 Danny Bonaduce Really?

1:01:05 Drew It's a horrible, debilitating, the most awful experience I can describe.

1:01:09 Danny Bonaduce What did you do?

1:01:11 Danny Bonaduce I've had them since I was seven years old and I'm now 35.

1:01:14 Drew Were you a trauma survivor?

1:01:16 Danny Bonaduce You know what? No. I mean, not anything that I remember, but...

1:01:20 Drew Well, there's all kinds of ways to approach anxiety. There's pharmacological ways. There's behavioral, cognitive behavioral therapy. There's EMDR.

1:01:31 Danny Bonaduce Do you believe in that? Are you a big fan of that?

1:01:33 Drew I'm not a big fan of it, but it's not about believing or not believing. For some people, it really works.

1:01:37 Danny Bonaduce Really? Because I was going to try it.

1:01:38 Drew Do you have a lot of panic still?

1:01:40 Danny Bonaduce No, I don't anymore.

1:01:41 Drew Thanks, Stacey.

1:01:42 Danny Bonaduce Stacey, when I checked in to rehab, they asked me, what do you drink over? And I said, nothing. I prefer being drunk than being sober. I have no problems in my life. I make a comfortable living. I love my wife. I love my kids.

1:01:55 Drew Why am I here?

1:01:56 Danny Bonaduce I don't drink over anything. Why are you bugging me? But then like a day without the drinking, the panic started to start.

1:02:03 Drew That's withdrawal.

1:02:04 Danny Bonaduce But I also realized I would never tolerate this kind of panic and fear. Without a drink. I would be drinking over this. I didn't know because I drink so steadily. You didn't realize there was a whole thing going on behind the alcohol.

1:02:19 Drew Mind you now, some of that is amplified by the withdrawal. The state your brain is in when you get off is altered.

1:02:25 Danny Bonaduce Yes, and being away from your wife and children, which I'm not used to. Like I said, I didn't leave the house much. I'm going to ranch in Malibu.

1:02:31 Drew I saw you in a sentinel moment there where you wanted to go on a pass with your wife and the therapist said no. That was the one, by the way, move on their part that I thought was swift and sure and excellent from the standpoint of therapeutic intervention.

1:02:42 Danny Bonaduce Really?

1:02:43 Drew Yeah.

1:02:43 Danny Bonaduce God, I'm glad to hear that.

1:02:44 Drew And it should have been much less of a deal than they made it for you. It should have been, you're not going, get back to group. That's it. Instead of sitting there letting you yell at them.

1:02:53 Danny Bonaduce Well, I think they knew that if they ever talked to me like that, that that would be the end of our relationship.

1:02:57 Drew Oh, you couldn't tolerate that then?

1:02:58 Danny Bonaduce No, no one talked to me like that.

1:03:00 Drew They couldn't say, you're not going, now let's get by and go to group.

1:03:02 Danny Bonaduce They might have said that, but if they, the way you said it was more like in your face.

1:03:06 Drew No, no, no, no.

1:03:06 Danny Bonaduce You're not going, that's all there is to it, now you get over there. That would have been the last time they spoke to me.

1:03:11 Drew Yeah, yeah. No, I don't mean in the sense of being harsh or all.

1:03:14 Danny Bonaduce Oh, yeah, no.

1:03:15 Drew But just matter of fact, like, hey, it's not happening, let's go, let's get going here.

1:03:18 Danny Bonaduce I'll tell you the truth, because I've known you so long and you've seen me so in and out and I've even pulled you aside just so you guys out there know he's a real life doctor. I've pulled him aside on television show sets and said, please help me, I'm sinking. And he did, you've always been so kind to me. But the fact of the matter is, that was the first time I realized I was really in trouble and at that rehab.

1:03:36 Drew And they wouldn't let you go to the past?

1:03:38 Danny Bonaduce I did every single thing they asked, no matter how stupid it seemed, no matter how ridiculous it seemed, even the drum circle, I didn't care. They said do it, I did it all.

1:03:46 Drew That's a change, right? Yeah, totally. You've never done that in three months.

1:03:49 Danny Bonaduce They said do, I jumped.

1:03:50 Drew Yeah, that's how we can kind of tell people are getting better when they're willing.

1:03:53 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, well.

1:03:53 Drew They just follow direction. All right.

1:03:55 Danny Bonaduce And then after it doesn't it's a big secret. It actually is going to be really hard for really long. I've been sober six months in a few days and the last, I mean, and I know this too shall pass. But the last few months have been roses. I'm having a wonderful time.

1:04:09 Drew It starts being self-sustaining, absolutely.

1:04:11 Danny Bonaduce I go to the gym, I make friends, it's lovely. Sarah is sitting in a room drunk.

1:04:15 Drew Sarah is 28.

1:04:17 Danny Bonaduce Hi Sarah.

1:04:18 Hi, how are you guys doing?

1:04:20 Drew We're doing good.

1:04:22 I guess I called because I am 28 and I've only had one relationship. And I experienced sort of almost like a trauma, experiencing trauma after dating anybody, I mean, or any sort of sexual experience with minor or major.

1:04:41 Drew What's your, I'm a little confused, but what is your question?

1:04:44 Danny Bonaduce Oh my God, she's having sex with minors, which I think is a problem.

1:04:47 Drew You've had one relationship, does that mean you've only had sex with one person?

1:04:50 Yeah.

1:04:51 Drew And after you have sex with that person, you feel bad?

1:04:54 No, that wasn't bad. It's just, it's any, it's anybody else. I mean, I, I barely date, but when I do, if I have any sort of sexual experience with them at all, it's, it's a literally two to one month process of like recovering from it and kind of assessing about it.

1:05:13 Drew That's not normal, right?

1:05:15 Danny Bonaduce No, I've heard about it. I don't know any, I've had girls say it to me, but I didn't believe them that I've, because girls, I'm a very romantic guy. I like to say romantic things. I, I'm a big candle flower kind of guy. I'm all about that kind of notes on windshields in the morning. I love that kind of stuff, right? So what happened very possibly, you waited till you were 28, you put so much import into this one particular young man and now he's gone, that sex with somebody else just riddles you with guilt.

1:05:42 No, but I haven't had sex with anybody else.

1:05:47 Drew Is it guilt that you're feeling?

1:05:49 No, I mean, this was before I had sex with him as well. I mean, any time I previous to that, any thing, any sexual experience, whether that was minor or anything, it was a period of recovery. And I have literally, I would be the person who was running to that night of like running away so that they wouldn't wake up with the person or have...

1:06:10 Danny Bonaduce I gotta go back to Dr. Drew's question then. Are you sure you're not a trauma survivor?

1:06:14 No, I'm not.

1:06:14 Drew That's what I was thinking.

1:06:17 I've never been abused. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents and other people. I mean, my friendships are wonderful.

1:06:24 Drew Are you a highly religious person where you feel excesses of amounts of guilt?

1:06:27 No, my parents are, but I'm not.

1:06:31 Drew All right, here's the deal. You need to have a relationship. Why don't you basically make a reasonable rule of thumb for you, I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship. I don't feel good about it. It's overwhelming to me. So go out there. There are plenty of guys that would love to do that, to get involved first, get going. You're 28 now. Men kind of land around 28, by the way. They're off the testosterone infusion that they're on for so many years, and they start looking for relationships themselves. So now's a good opportunity to do that, right? And just don't have sex until you're actually involved with somebody.

1:07:01 Danny Bonaduce And you know, I didn't get this, because I'm much older. I was working with Mario Lopez on the other half, and he always used to say things like, well, I have a sister, and I treat women like I would treat my sister, so I'd date them so on before we would have sex. And he said, and I wouldn't respect a woman I had sex with on the first date, which I find insanity. You know, it's like a woman is giving you what you want most out of life, and you're mad at her for it. What, are you insane? This is like my favorite human.

1:07:34 Drew What happened in that relationship? I thought those two were perfect.

1:07:36 Danny Bonaduce Oh, yes, they're wonderful.

1:07:38 Drew I remember when they were just dating, I called it and said, you're getting married. I just know it. Neither of you were going to go anywhere else.

1:07:43 Danny Bonaduce Where else do you go from there? From those two.

1:07:47 Drew And then something happened. I don't know why. I'm sorry about that.

1:07:50 Danny Bonaduce Me too.

1:07:51 Drew Do you feel comfortable talking about other things you're dealing with?

1:07:53 Danny Bonaduce I feel comfortable talking about anything you want, man.

1:07:55 Drew You're on medication now?

1:07:56 Danny Bonaduce Yeah.

1:07:56 Drew Does that help?

1:07:58 Danny Bonaduce Yes. Here's the thing about psych drugs. Tom Cruise made a big statement about psych drugs and he's wrong. The problem with psych drugs is not that they don't work. The problem with psych drugs is that they work.

1:08:10 Danny Bonaduce Right.

1:08:10 Danny Bonaduce They're the only medication I know that if they work, convince you, you don't need them.

1:08:14 Danny Bonaduce Right.

1:08:14 Danny Bonaduce You know? You don't need them. You feel normal like nobody else. Why am I taking all these pills?

1:08:18 Drew Right. That or you don't need to do other work.

1:08:20 Danny Bonaduce Right.

1:08:20 Drew No, the psychological work.

1:08:21 Danny Bonaduce These can't be good for my never-taking, because I take enough pills to get full.

1:08:24 Drew Well, they were referring to you as bipolar in the, or manic when you were at the...

1:08:27 Danny Bonaduce Manic, bipolar, rapid cycling.

1:08:30 Drew Yeah. So that would be Depakote and Trelepdol.

1:08:33 Danny Bonaduce No, right now I'm one of the two, because I stopped one, Lamictal, Lexapro, Prozac, Seroquel, and something else.

1:08:43 Drew That's actually a pretty standard combination. Lamictal is a drug.

1:08:46 Danny Bonaduce And my dose is actually extraordinarily low, which surprises me.

1:08:49 Drew Lamictal, like 25 milligrams Lamictal. Lamictal is a drug that causes a lot to rash, and it's hard to use. But when it works, man, it works great when people tolerate it.

1:08:56 Danny Bonaduce Right, it does.

1:08:56 Drew And Seroquel is probably to help you sleep at night and that kind of thing. And then you add in some mood medicine. So the Lamictal keeps the lid on and something else supports the bottom.

1:09:05 Danny Bonaduce I got to tell you, they all told me, they said, you know, a lot of people like you, because I was seriously manic. I mean, this is me. You know, I'm medicated at the moment and take a gander. So they said, you know, a lot of people like you don't want to give up the highs.

1:09:22 Drew Right, they like the manias.

1:09:23 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I don't feel particularly different. I feel like until they fired me, I felt better at my job. I felt faster and quicker.

1:09:32 Drew When you were now?

1:09:34 Danny Bonaduce Yeah.

1:09:34 Drew The way you are now. Yeah, of course you're not using it.

1:09:37 Danny Bonaduce But I mean, but also with the, with the, you know, all of a sudden, you know, the decline of Western civilization is all my fault for no reason at all. Just because I'm not taking my meds. Not having that burden, whether it's imagined, real or imagined, is lovely.

1:09:50 Drew It's a beautiful experience. Again, I haven't watched a lot of your shows, but I've watched a couple. And the one thing I saw you have as a prominent feature of your manias, irritability. And so that's probably gone away.

1:09:59 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, very much so.

1:10:00 Drew And so even though you could still have lots of energy and be OK, but not be so irritable overall.

1:10:04 Danny Bonaduce My energy, as I can see, like the highs, they were worried that I'd be, I'd miss so much, I don't see that they're gone. Maybe inappropriate highs that I didn't know were there are gone. But you know, I'm having the best time of my life. All the way down here, I'm going, I'm doing love life. I can't believe this is the coolest thing ever. Oh my God, do you think everybody wants Starbucks? I mean, you know, everything's really good.

1:10:25 Drew All right, the phone number here is 1-800-LOVE-191. Join Don at Danny Bonaduce in his really good life, ask him some really good questions. Oh my God, there's somebody calling in from Oslo, Norway.

1:10:35 Danny Bonaduce Right on.

1:10:36 Drew Wow, Ingrid, no way. All right, we're going to find out after this.

1:10:44 Danny Bonaduce Loveline will be right back.

1:10:56 Drew That's right, it's Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, and I cannot wait to take this next call, because it says, I'm here with Danny Bonaduce, and it says, it is Ingrid from Oslo, Norway. Are you kidding me?

1:11:07 Danny Bonaduce Hello?

1:11:08 Drew Ingrid? Ingrid, you can't be.

1:11:09 Danny Bonaduce Hello, oh my gosh, it is so nice to talk to you.

1:11:14 Drew Really, that's what people sound like in Norway?

1:11:16 Danny Bonaduce That's what people sound like in Norway.

1:11:18 Drew All right, if you say so, you've been around, I've not been in Norway myself.

1:11:20 Danny Bonaduce I get around. How you doing?

1:11:23 Danny Bonaduce I'm fine, how are you?

1:11:24 Danny Bonaduce I'm very well, thank you. What made you call in tonight?

1:11:27 Danny Bonaduce Well, I was just having breakfast and I was thinking how much, let's see, my boyfriend is upstairs listening to the show. I just thought, why not call in and say hello.

1:11:39 Drew How does one get the show in Norway?

1:11:41 Danny Bonaduce We did not have it before the summer. There was a girl who was living with us for one month, and she bought audio cassettes of the show. We just listened to them and it was very fun. And we found a way we can listen to it on the Internet.

1:11:58 Drew Which is just so other people in other countries can listen. Where do you get it on the Internet?

1:12:04 Danny Bonaduce I'm not quite sure. I'm not the computer person.

1:12:07 Danny Bonaduce That's the boyfriend upstairs?

1:12:09 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

1:12:09 Drew Fair enough. And you're living with your boyfriend?

1:12:12 Danny Bonaduce Yes.

1:12:13 Drew How's everything going? You speak great English, by the way.

1:12:17 Danny Bonaduce Thank you.

1:12:17 Danny Bonaduce I think everybody speaks really good English in Norway.

1:12:19 Caller I guess so.

1:12:21 Danny Bonaduce We have to start learning it when we are seven years old.

1:12:24 Drew Wow.

1:12:24 Danny Bonaduce That's the thing about almost every other country, you know. They have to learn language.

1:12:28 Drew They all recognize the existence of other countries.

1:12:30 Danny Bonaduce Instead of, hey, we're American. Speak our language, we'll beat you up.

1:12:34 Drew That's crazy. So Inger, what do you do for a living?

1:12:37 Danny Bonaduce It is English English that we want to speak and not really American English.

1:12:42 Drew The Queen's English. The Queen's English. Yes. Although your sounds fairly, fairly West. What do you do for a living?

1:12:49 Danny Bonaduce I am a student at the university and on the weekends I teach swimming class. I teach swimming class to young children about five, six.

1:12:59 Danny Bonaduce I'm assuming this is indoors.

1:13:01 Danny Bonaduce Right. Yes.

1:13:03 Danny Bonaduce Because is Norway ever warm?

1:13:06 Danny Bonaduce Well, it is quite warm for the time of year right now.

1:13:10 Drew Like what?

1:13:11 Danny Bonaduce How high?

1:13:12 Drew How hot? She's going to tell us in centigrade.

1:13:14 Danny Bonaduce It's 10 degrees celsius. So that is...

1:13:17 Danny Bonaduce So it's 10. So she's freezing her ass off.

1:13:19 Drew It's like 40 degrees.

1:13:20 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, freezing. She's going swimming. You got your mind?

1:13:24 Danny Bonaduce It's about 45, 50 degrees.

1:13:26 Danny Bonaduce Oh, well then, please.

1:13:28 Drew It's swimming weather.

1:13:28 Danny Bonaduce That's getting our speedos and night out.

1:13:32 Drew Ingrid, what are you studying at school?

1:13:34 Danny Bonaduce I am studying modern history of the Vikings. So, just the last 100 years of the Vikings.

1:13:40 Danny Bonaduce Well, I was going to say modern history seems almost like an oxymoron.

1:13:44 Drew Yeah.

1:13:44 Danny Bonaduce How is that possible?

1:13:45 Drew Modern of the Vikings. And your boyfriend treats you okay?

1:13:49 Danny Bonaduce Oh, yes. Yes, we've been together for many years.

1:13:52 Drew Many years? You're only 21.

1:13:55 Danny Bonaduce Yes, we have been together since I was 16.

1:13:58 Drew You know, I was at a conference this last weekend where they were talking about how Europeans deal with sexuality. And there was a French woman there who was saying that in Europe, sex is viewed as good. Just like food is good. It's not your enemy. It's a good thing. And it needs to be managed, you know, just the way you manage your diet and you learn how to do it right and you don't have to do it in a healthy way. You don't think of it as something that has to be avoided at all costs.

1:14:18 Danny Bonaduce Right.

1:14:19 Drew Is that?

1:14:19 Danny Bonaduce Oh, no. No, I don't. I don't. Sometimes when we listen to the show, we don't really understand the kind of problems that people are having because either sex is all they think about or they think it is the only thing that another person is thinking about.

1:14:35 Danny Bonaduce Well, there is a big difference between the American psyche and almost the rest of the world. I was at a meeting the other day where everybody was whining about their feelings and their drinking and this and that. And I go outside and I'm talking to this girl and she's from Paraguay.

1:14:46 Drew Yeah.

1:14:46 Danny Bonaduce And she said, if you walked into a room in Paraguay and people were discussing their feelings, they just beat you up and say, get back to work. You know, we're the big, let's discuss our feelings country.

1:14:56 Drew And with a language, there's a lot of people that have trauma here that our families aren't healthy. And so people don't develop the internal emotional systems they need to sort of feel okay minute to minute. And they look to other things and sex and drugs are the things that they often look to.

1:15:09 Danny Bonaduce Are you and your boyfriend faithful to one another?

1:15:12 Danny Bonaduce Oh, yes. Oh, yes. We have a, we have a small child. Oh, yes.

1:15:16 Danny Bonaduce Oh, you have a small child. 21.

1:15:17 Danny Bonaduce And then.

1:15:19 Drew Why didn't you get, why aren't you married?

1:15:22 Danny Bonaduce We don't really want to be married right now. And I think we are waiting until after university. I think we want to get married.

1:15:30 Drew Don't you think your child wants you to be married? You know what I mean?

1:15:33 Danny Bonaduce Did you say you wanted to wait till the child graduated university before you got married?

1:15:38 Danny Bonaduce Wait until we graduate from university. But actually if we did get married now, then our student loans would be canceled.

1:15:46 Drew Alright, there you go.

1:15:47 Danny Bonaduce Always fair.

1:15:48 Drew Well Ingrid, thank you so much for calling us. We've never had a call from Norway before. We're intrigued.

1:15:52 Danny Bonaduce Oh, well I'm very happy to have been the first.

1:15:55 Danny Bonaduce Thank you Ingrid.

1:15:56 Drew Call us back sometime, okay?

1:15:58 Danny Bonaduce Alright, see you later now.

1:15:59 Danny Bonaduce Alright, bye bye.

1:16:00 Danny Bonaduce Nice young man.

1:16:01 Drew Oh, I don't know. Oh, yes, everything.

1:16:03 Danny Bonaduce First time I was going away, this is Minnesota. This is a Minnesota accent.

1:16:07 Drew Okay, Lisa's 28. Lisa, what's going on?

1:16:09 Danny Bonaduce Hi Lisa.

1:16:11 Caller Hi.

1:16:11 Drew You're on with Danny Bonaduce.

1:16:13 Danny Bonaduce And Dr. Drew.

1:16:15 Caller I just want to say I watch your show and every time I do, I cry.

1:16:23 Danny Bonaduce I'm sorry.

1:16:24 Caller My husband can't understand why.

1:16:27 Drew Are you an addict yourself?

1:16:28 Caller Yes.

1:16:29 Drew Okay.

1:16:30 Danny Bonaduce What are you addicted to? What is your main choice?

1:16:33 Caller Vicodin.

1:16:34 Danny Bonaduce tough one.

1:16:35 Drew How much how much how much you taking now per day? 20, 30. For an hour. For an hour. So you're doing 30, 40 a day, right? Yeah. Yeah. Most of my patients are doing around 50 a day by the time they get a treatment.

1:16:49 Danny Bonaduce Yeah. It's amazing because I know people that are addicted to Vicodin because I started taking them. I went from one to 15 in two weeks.

1:16:57 Drew Well, that's how you that's what happened this last time.

1:16:59 Danny Bonaduce I mean, from one knocking me on my butt to 15 in a day in like two weeks. The tolerance must be amazing how fast that goes up.

1:17:05 Drew What's also amazing is that even at stepping it up at that rapid a rate, people's livers don't accumulate the Tylenol. They should, but the liver seems to whatever that rate of increases seems to give the liver enough time to adjust and accommodate what's coming in.

1:17:19 Danny Bonaduce So when you, and I don't mean to equate my show with a 50 Vicodin a day problem, but is there any benefit that you get from watching my show? I mean, the fact that you cry is nice and touching, I'm assuming, but if you're watching it and you're crying and you're doing nothing to help yourself, then it's serving no purpose.

1:17:37 Drew There you go.

1:17:38 Caller It's because I want to tell my husband so bad.

1:17:41 Caller Oh, no, but he knows.

1:17:42 Drew Oh my, where are you getting the Vicodin from?

1:17:45 Danny Bonaduce There's an old man who sells it.

1:17:49 Danny Bonaduce In what area of the world do you live in?

1:17:52 Drew Northern California. Northern California.

1:17:55 Danny Bonaduce I know this is going to sound stupid, but I mean, if you can't find a way to tell your boyfriend, at some point tomorrow or the next day, I can call you and if you want, I'll call him and tell him.

1:18:05 Caller No.

1:18:06 Danny Bonaduce I'll tell him what it's like. I'll tell him it's not your fault.

1:18:09 Caller I have what you just said about panic disorders and drinking. My doctor put me on Paxil and I don't want to start taking it because I don't know if it's going to interfere with the...

1:18:22 Drew It's not going to do S if you're on all that Vicodin. You can't treat panic or depression on drugs. It's just not treatable.

1:18:29 Danny Bonaduce Especially drugs that have a tendency to bring on panic.

1:18:32 Caller I don't want it to interact.

1:18:34 Drew All right. Here's the deal. Well, don't you worry about that. You need to get into some program. You're an opiate addict. You need to get in treatment. You have to take a few months off and focus on this. You got to do it. That's all there is to it. There's no easy way out of this. You got to go do it.

1:18:47 Caller I can't. I'm afraid. I'm a nurse.

1:18:51 Drew All right. What's going to happen is you're going to get caught using it on the job and you get reported to the state or worse, you're going to steal drugs, you're going to graduate to Needles, things like that. That's what happens. Here's the deal with nursing, any health care worker. We do horribly in treatment. The probability of treating a nurse or a doctor successfully is about less than 5% except when they accept diversion. In diversion, physicians and nurses have nearly 100% probability of getting well. So not going to diversion is saying, I'm going to keep using. I don't intend to stop. Because we know it's not going to work if you don't do diversion. We know it is going to work if you do do diversion. You're not willing to do it, well, you're going to keep using.

1:19:33 Danny Bonaduce And the things I have done to stop that were not real, the distances I have gone to stop that...

1:19:40 Drew Quotate won't stop.

1:19:41 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, are amazing, but can I tell you this? Dr. Drew has got a kinder, prettier view of life, and he's right. You're going to get caught stealing drugs from the hospital. You're going to get caught escalating it to needles. But I just thought death. When I hear for a Viking in an hour, from a girl with a voice as shaky as yours, and I go to as many meetings as I go to, and I go in every day, every day, there's an empty chair where a 28 year old was sitting yesterday and now they're dead. I see a dead girl.

1:20:10 Drew So let's take care of this, Lisa, all right? Come on. Okay. Let's do it. Go in. There's treatment programs everywhere. Get in there. Spend a little time. As Danny will tell you, there's good things ahead.

1:20:21 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, there really are.

1:20:22 Drew Look how miserable she is now. It's going to get worse than this? Yeah.

1:20:25 Danny Bonaduce You forget that you're miserable because, you know, nobody gets addicted to drugs because they suck.

1:20:30 Drew No, they work.

1:20:31 Danny Bonaduce You get addicted to drugs because they're fun at first.

1:20:32 Drew They work.

1:20:33 Danny Bonaduce That's right. Somebody said, and I don't completely get it, but everybody I've ever said it to said, oh, that's brilliant. I don't really actually understand this. I said in the beginning, you know, in the beginning, I was doing drugs.

1:20:43 Drew Yeah.

1:20:43 Danny Bonaduce At the end, the drugs were doing me.

1:20:44 Drew Yeah, that's good.

1:20:45 Danny Bonaduce I'm not exactly sure what that even means.

1:20:46 Drew No, I don't think so.

1:20:47 Danny Bonaduce But everybody understood it.

1:20:48 Drew Yeah.

1:20:48 Danny Bonaduce But it's true. I didn't leave my room and not like out of my house. I didn't do anything. There was no joy in my life whatsoever, including the drugs. I had to take the drugs just not to feel physical pain.

1:21:00 Drew But even then, each time you use you, you're not getting better, you're staying bad or getting worse.

1:21:06 Danny Bonaduce Right. They say you're taking the drugs because I got to get well. You're not getting well, you're getting less physical sick at the moment, but you're getting sicker.

1:21:16 Drew 1-800-LOVE-191 is the number. Danny's taken us on quite a journey tonight. I'm sorry.

1:21:21 Danny Bonaduce No, no.

1:21:21 Drew We've been to Norway, we've been to Bakersfield, we've been to Vacaville, we've been through addiction and sexual abuse and all kinds of interesting things. Only we haven't talked about it. Last time we spent the whole night talking about it, Oregon, so it's quite a shift from last night. But Danny's here from Breaking Bonaduce. Go ahead on vh1.com and vote for him for the Big and 05 Awards, please. I'd like him to win those.

1:21:44 Danny Bonaduce Me too.

1:21:44 Drew And by the way, show them a little love. A show with the love, a mobilization of our Loveline audience can do.

1:21:48 Danny Bonaduce Nice. Nice.

1:21:50 Drew Show what we can do. And...

1:21:52 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, if that chick from Norway can hear us on her computer, you can vote for me.

1:21:55 Drew That's right. It's vh1.com. Check your local listing for the time for Breaking Bonaduce. You said it's 10 Central 11, whatever. Unless you have satellite, then we don't know. Alright, we'll be right back.

1:22:18 Caller This is Loveline.

1:22:23 Drew Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191, Danny Bonaduce in here tonight, and I hope you all ran out and voted for him at vh1.com. Turn the break, because we're going to show VH1 what the Loveline listening audience can do.

1:22:34 Danny Bonaduce Right on, Doc.

1:22:35 Drew This is Justin, who's 22.

1:22:36 Danny Bonaduce Hey, Justin.

1:22:37 Danny Bonaduce Hey, man. How's it going, Danny?

1:22:40 Danny Bonaduce Good, buddy.

1:22:40 Danny Bonaduce What's up?

1:22:41 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, I was wondering if, while you were doing all these drugs, well, you know what I mean.

1:22:47 Danny Bonaduce Well, that's fair enough. That's cool.

1:22:48 Danny Bonaduce I also experienced panic attacks.

1:22:50 Danny Bonaduce Yeah.

1:22:51 Danny Bonaduce I experienced them so bad. It is the worst pain I have ever felt, man.

1:22:55 Danny Bonaduce Right.

1:22:55 Drew So you got the kind where you got chest pain and thought you were going to die.

1:22:58 Danny Bonaduce Everything, man. These pains, I would rather be shot or stabbed instead of experiencing.

1:23:03 Danny Bonaduce I know exactly what you feel. So what's your question? Yeah, I do. What's your question?

1:23:07 Danny Bonaduce The question is, I was wondering if maybe somehow the vikinging could have affected this.

1:23:14 Danny Bonaduce On me or on you?

1:23:15 Danny Bonaduce Well, on me. I mean, in anybody who experiences.

1:23:19 Danny Bonaduce I have found, believe it or not, this is a big surprise to me. But, you know, when you've been taking drugs or drinking as long as I have, and I, you know, I guess I should be ashamed, but I'm not. I've taken drugs and alcohol for an extraordinary amount of time and done certain experiments to see what's doing what to me. And opiates make me very angry. Opiates really agitate me a great deal. I was surprised by that.

1:23:40 Drew Opiates cause physical pain too. Intense headaches, back aches, abdominal pain, and the pain is overwhelming. The typical pain is a crushing pain in your spine, like somebody's got it in a vice, promoting the rating down the legs.

1:23:53 Danny Bonaduce And guess what, of course, you do for that?

1:23:55 Drew Take more Vicodin.

1:23:55 Danny Bonaduce You take a painkiller, a Vicodin.

1:23:57 Drew You go to the doctor, here's what you do. You go to the, you've been given Vicodin because you strained your back at work. Now the pain gets a lot worse. You double down, you triple down. Now you go back to the doctor's, pain's unbelievable. Let's get an MRI scan. Oh, well, you've got a little bulging disc, an L2, L3, L4, like everybody does. Every human that's upright in their 40s has that. Well, maybe someday if this pain doesn't remit, we'll have to do a surgery and now you're on. Now it's game on.

1:24:19 Danny Bonaduce Remember when I told you when I first came in, I don't have a doctor. I ended up at a doctor today and had a physical and stuff. Got a prescription of something. I hurt myself somewhere and he gave me a prescription. And he gave me 30 Vicodin without even knowing me. And I just went and had it filled and took it home. There was some other antibiotics and stuff like that. And I took it out and right in front of my wife without a moment's hesitation dumped it right down the sink.

1:24:40 Drew Oh, God bless you.

1:24:41 Danny Bonaduce I was really, dude, I was so impressed with myself.

1:24:43 Drew Isn't that, that's hard. That is hard. And that's how much the medical system can affect your disease. You got to own your disease all the time because stuff will intrude on it and put it in your way and man, that part of your brain that drives the disease can just.

1:24:55 Danny Bonaduce I turned on the garbage disposal on the water and I explained to my wife, I said, do you know why I'm doing that? She said, no, why not? Because in five minutes I'll be in there getting the drugs out. And I said, if I don't let that water and that thing run long enough, I'll be in there with a spoon scooping out the goo. Right. That's what drug addicts are.

1:25:11 Drew That's what drug addicts are.

1:25:12 Danny Bonaduce You have nothing pretty about it.

1:25:13 Drew Nothing you can do about it.

1:25:14 Danny Bonaduce Nothing you can do about it.

1:25:15 Drew Well, there is something. But once it grabs you, boy, that's it, it's going.

1:25:19 Danny Bonaduce You could be all perky like me when you grow up.

1:25:22 Drew So what's up, Justin?

1:25:23 Danny Bonaduce Well, I was taking them for a while. I was taking one a day for two years. And like Donnie said, that filled my stomach up. I went to a drug rehab and they kind of laughed at me. Like, that's it. But to me, I felt like I was addicted because I was doing it for like two years straight every day. And I was only taking one, two. And you know, so I just figured maybe that was causing my panic attacks. But eventually it came down to women.

1:25:50 Drew You weren't taking anything else? You weren't taking anything else?

1:25:53 Danny Bonaduce I was on Zoloft.

1:25:55 Drew No Klonopin or Xanax or anything else for the panic?

1:25:57 Caller No, no.

1:25:58 Danny Bonaduce Just the Zoloft and the Viking and kind of, you know.

1:26:01 Drew Smoking a lot of pot, that causes panic attacks.

1:26:04 Caller Right.

1:26:06 Drew Were you smoking a lot of pot?

1:26:07 Danny Bonaduce I was smoking a little pot.

1:26:09 Caller All right.

1:26:09 Danny Bonaduce There you go. Now we've got quite a... We had trifecta all of a sudden.

1:26:12 Caller Yeah.

1:26:13 Danny Bonaduce This guy went from I don't do anything.

1:26:14 Drew Just one a day? One a day? Yeah. We got weed all day.

1:26:17 Danny Bonaduce It's funny. The other addicts laughed at me. Like they came way closer to death and spent their inheritance. And they're laughing at me because I only take one Vicodin. Their lives are decimated and you'll be fine, hopefully.

1:26:30 Drew All right. This is Richard who is 28. Richard.

1:26:33 Yes, sir. I am.

1:26:34 Danny Bonaduce Hi, Richard.

1:26:35 How's it going?

1:26:36 Drew We're good. You're Danny Bonaduce.

1:26:38 Yes, I am. Hey, what's up, Dad?

1:26:39 Drew By the way, he's going to join us again tomorrow night.

1:26:41 Okay, thankfully.

1:26:43 Danny Bonaduce Thanks.

1:26:43 Drew Maybe bring his wife along too.

1:26:44 Danny Bonaduce I certainly hope so.

1:26:45 Hopefully, he has a lucky. I'm not. What's up? Same thing. Like I was telling you, and I'm not sure whoever answered the phone, the story that broke up with my old lady, and she kept the kids, kept the house, kept all my personal, all my clothes and everything, ended up with one pair of pants, ended up coming down to my mother-in-law's house. I've been here for two weeks, working it off, and she's all cool, but she's getting a little bit sweet on me. Who is?

1:27:17 Drew Your wife's mom?

1:27:18 No, my mother's mom. Yeah, I mean my wife's mom. Not so much that it came out very smoothly in the beginning, and then more intense after. It's like she's now coming home from work, and bringing home the money now to her, and she's trying to be more like my old lady instead of being my old girl.

1:27:41 Danny Bonaduce Do you have children with the first girl?

1:27:43 Yes, I do. I have two girls.

1:27:45 Danny Bonaduce See, that kind of wrecks my theory right there.

1:27:46 Drew What was the theory?

1:27:47 Danny Bonaduce My theory was go ahead and do it, and it's a great story for the rest of your life.

1:27:50 I don't know about that.

1:27:51 Danny Bonaduce You know what? I mean some huge mistakes are worth making just so you can tell the story later.

1:27:56 Drew Has she actually made a pass at you?

1:27:58 The thing is the type of people that, I mean we're Chicano, and you know it just comes with the territory that you know sometimes the mother's daughter are like almost similar to the same age and we've all been through the same thing and you know maybe her old man back in the days was like look sort of like me.

1:28:18 Drew What is your question, Richard?

1:28:19 Danny Bonaduce Yeah, because you're making assumptions like crazy.

1:28:21 Drew Yeah, I'm not sure this is real.

1:28:22 My question is this, is like you know it's like in my point of view I see it like we were always like family and I mean I'm not trying to like pull anything. I love her like a mother-in-law but she's trying to be like you know getting it to my pants and.

1:28:36 Drew Well, give me an exact description of one of the times that she come on to you. What did she do?

1:28:40 Oh, okay. Let's say like the other night, Halloween night, she went out to a VFW, VFW on party.

1:28:49 Drew Yeah.

1:28:50 Caller She comes home and I'm listening to K-Rock with her and you know and you guys had not some dancing time, you know I love dancing up at the House of Blues. And she comes in and you know she's all drunk and then she starts to lick, you know, I'm laying there like on my bed and I wake up and she's licking on my nipples, and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:29:09 Drew Hey Richard, get out of there, get out.

1:29:12 Danny Bonaduce I got to tell you right now, if you do it with the lady that parties at the Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall, you got an issue buddy.

1:29:20 Drew And she's your mother-in-law, simultaneously.

1:29:23 Danny Bonaduce That's a big night out.

1:29:25 Drew Wow, Richard, come on, that is your wife's, the mother of your children's mother.

1:29:30 Danny Bonaduce Wait, that's your kid's grandma.

1:29:32 Drew Yeah, your kid's grandma, you're screwing around. Get out of that house, take care of yourself, get an apartment somewhere. That is effing ridiculous.

1:29:38 Danny Bonaduce Yeah.

1:29:38 Drew Stop it, stop it. Come on, turn back now. And she's an alcoholic, it sounds like, she's loaded with these crazy stuff.

1:29:44 Danny Bonaduce Sometimes does it feel like a waste that you actually are a doctor. I mean, who needs a doctor for this one? You can't sleep with your kid's grandma. I spent 27 years in medical school, you can't sleep with this lady.

1:29:57 Drew You say it much better than I do.

1:29:59 Danny Bonaduce All right, listen, I don't have to back up being a doctor.

1:30:02 Drew We have to think of you say it better. So we have to take another break here. Danny Bonaduce is our guest and he's coming back in tomorrow night. So we'll get more of this and more calls from Oslo. And for right now, we'll just take a little break. Dr. Drew and Danny, be right back. Well, that about does it for Loveline. I'm just talking with Danny about how I approach drug addicts when I'm treating them. And when I'm treating medical students, I tell them, yes, Danny asked me of what we do in patients lie.

1:30:36 Danny Bonaduce Well, what I asked actually was I've known doctor for years and I've been sober off and on. And I said, you know, you don't know me that well, so you can tell me the truth here. Can you tell that I'm not lying to you? That I could not be, that I might be on drugs right now. Can you tell I'm not lying?

1:30:50 Drew I have a pretty good radar, a pretty good instinct on it, but I'm not foolproof. And what I was telling Danny is that when I'm training medical students, they'll deal with addicts and alcoholics, I tell them to put their fingers in their ears, the students, and do not listen to what the patient is saying because 90% of it is just total BS. And listen to what they're evoking in you, the feelings you get, and whatever comes to mind, follow that and trust it.

1:31:11 Danny Bonaduce When you've been lying for 25 years and you start telling the truth and people don't believe you, you get really, really mad. You're like so indignant. I can't believe you don't believe me. I'm 25 years and now I tell you the truth and you don't believe me? You drive me crazy.

1:31:25 Drew How dare you? Well, Danny, it's been a pleasure, really.

1:31:28 Danny Bonaduce It's my pleasure. Thank you, doctor.

1:31:29 Drew Danny's thinking of bringing up his wife by tomorrow night for a segment, too. It'll be interesting to get her sort of take on all this, too.

1:31:34 Danny Bonaduce I'm sure it will.

1:31:34 Drew Speaking of dealing with lying for a while.

1:31:36 Danny Bonaduce No kidding.

1:31:37 Drew Oh, man.

1:31:38 Danny Bonaduce All right.

1:31:38 Drew I appreciate you being here. I appreciate your honesty. I know the listeners do, too. And we'll have more fun with this tomorrow night. Danny Bonaduce. It's breaking Bonaduce on VH1. Go vote for him on vh1.com. And again, I appreciate all your openness and sharing here.

1:31:50 Danny Bonaduce This has been great. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. And thanks for everybody that called, including that lady from Norway.

1:31:55 Drew And we'll be back tomorrow.

1:31:56 Caller I'm laying there on my bed and I wake up and she's licking on my nipples, dude.

1:32:00 Drew And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, get out of there, get out.

1:32:07 Caller This has been Loveline. Loveline, the opinions expressed in this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or the station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2005