Episode 1000578901282

0:52 Voiceover Loveline is meant for an adult audience.

0:55 Voiceover Loveline may contain sexually oriented content.

1:00 Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:12 Adam What kind of maniac turns the headphones on? Let me just say this. I'm tired of everyone effing with everyone else's knobs. You know what I mean? Like, when we used to do it out of the other studio, the knobs, the headphones would be on, so loud blood would come out of your ears, and then here it's turned all the way down. What are you doing with my knobs? Leave them alone.

1:30 Drew Who else comes in the studio anyway?

1:31 Adam I don't know, but that's it. I'm gunning for them. Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, Adam.

1:35 Drew Take your time. You're great spirits tonight, Adam.

1:38 Voiceover What's this? Leave the knob alone. Hey, everybody. 1-800-LOVE-191, Dr. Drew, board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. Bianca Kajlich is our guest tonight. Uh-oh, Drew's having computer problems.

1:52 Drew I came in and signed this thing on three times. Uh-oh. Oh, yeah.

1:55 Adam Uh-oh. Me Baby is the name of her new show, Tuesday Nights, 9 o'clock, UPN, Tuesday Nights. That's tomorrow night, everybody. 9 o'clock. And then you know what you watch after that? Crank Acres.

2:08 Drew Crank Acres.

2:08 Adam That's right, 10 o'clock, Comedy Central. Bianca, delight to see you again.

2:12 It's good to see you guys, too. I actually heard you guys with all the fellow Dawson Crakers a while back after you were on the show.

2:21 Drew We were in North Carolina.

2:22 Yeah.

2:22 Drew We were filming the show.

2:23 And I think that everyone was wasted, except for you two, of course, on the show.

2:27 Drew Busy and Michelle and Oliver, right?

2:31 Adam Yeah.

2:31 Drew Those were the three that night.

2:33 Adam They have their own stills out there.

2:35 Drew Each of them.

2:36 Adam Everybody in North Carolina has a still. You're granted 10 acres of mule and a still when you become a resident of North. It is North Carolina, right?

2:47 Drew That's where we were.

2:49 Adam Oh, my God. What a hellish nightmare that entire trip was. Anyway, so, oh, it's great to have you back. That's what I wanted to say. And here's the other thing I want to say. Is Dan Cortez.

3:03 Caller Cortese.

3:04 Adam It's Cortese. When did that become Cortese and how does that work?

3:10 Caller Well, I'm not sure when it happened, but I know it was recently. And it's actually because I believe his grandfather when his son was born requested the name be changed back to the official pronunciation when he came over to this country.

3:27 Adam That's too bad. Once we know you. I told you when my sister, her name's Lauren, she tried to spell it with a Y at some point in her career. Like about 28, she cited it was going to be LA or L-A-U-R-Y-N or something. I said no. And this is what you should have said to Dan.

3:46 Caller Well it wasn't really my decision. It was already that way when I got there.

3:49 Adam We got to stand up to Dan Cortez. You see what I did? I called him Cortez. All right. So this show, now what is this show about?

3:58 Caller It's about a morning shock jock, morning DJ and his wife and they are just a young couple having their first child and kind of dealing with the repercussions of a new baby in the life and him talking about their private life on the air and coming home and dealing with that.

4:17 Drew That's an interesting idea. Sounds kind of familiar to me. We need to throw a co-host in there and keep giving his wife grief.

4:23 Adam That adds to that. Well, your wife listens to the program. That's her problem. My wife just has a Cs she works with who have to fill her in on stuff. Oh, Adam seemed very sweet on the guest last night. Yeah, he was hitting on her. Little Cs. You guys just kill yourselves. Little bitches filling everyone's head with everything. You know those little bitches that run around work all the time? Go, I saw Anamon, he was talking about, is it if you gained weight, you know these people? Just take a number two pencil, just ram it into your ear. Just ram it into your ear. You know who you are. God damn, I wanted to kill this bitch who was doing this last time. Remember the girl who was in here I didn't even like?

5:10 Drew Right.

5:10 Adam I hated her.

5:11 Drew Yes.

5:11 Adam And I did nothing. It's not like you, Bianca.

5:14 Drew Yes.

5:15 Adam We're going to have something going on. This girl.

5:17 Caller Let's give him something to talk about.

5:19 Adam I don't remember who it was. I didn't like her. This is some sort of dizzy blonde bad actress who blew through here and I couldn't stand her. Yeah. Adam seemed like he was flaring. Little coos. Just kill yourself. Slit your own throat. Have just a shred of dignity. Would you, you people? And look, just don't talk to anybody about anything. These girls, women at work, the little 20 somethings who have to run around. I saw, I don't want to talk, but I thought you should know. Shut up! These people. Drew, your wife's one of them.

5:51 Drew What?

5:52 Adam You know, they like to walk around like the gossip and spread everything all over the place. I just thought you should know.

5:58 Drew No, no, she doesn't do that. She does not do that.

6:00 Adam And everyone just shut up. Thank you. At work, don't talk to anybody. Talk about work, would you?

6:08 Drew Here's how we're going to do it. We're going to start with a Florida or Germany question. That'll make you feel better.

6:14 Adam I just.

6:15 Drew So fill everybody in how this works. Pretty much.

6:20 Adam Now, here's how it works. All evil, all bizarre evil emanates from either Florida or Germany. We have to guess which one it comes from. This is. We've never played this with a guess. Oh, yes, we have. Haven't we?

6:35 Caller Well, you were on this rant last time I was here.

6:37 Drew Florida or Germany?

6:38 Caller Not Germany, but Florida for sure.

6:41 But now we turn to a hot game show.

6:44 Okay. Yeah.

6:47 Adam You're 14.

6:48 Caller Yeah. What's up, guys?

6:49 Adam What's up?

6:50 Caller All right. Okay. The president of the world's largest mail order company has been making extortion payments for the past 10 days. Police arrest a 50-year-old man with a payment of two and a half million whatever was delivered.

7:07 Drew Germany.

7:08 Adam Germany.

7:09 Drew Germany. If he was smart enough.

7:11 Adam He would have done that.

7:13 You know, you might be screwing with us.

7:14 Adam No, he's not. We're going Germany.

7:15 Drew We'll finish the story anyway.

7:16 Caller Can I even go let me finish?

7:17 Adam Go ahead.

7:17 Drew Do we have any joy marks? Anyway, go ahead.

7:21 Caller The money packed into a suitcase was then thrown from a moving train when a radio signal was received.

7:27 Adam That's all true.

7:28 Caller The extortionist had selected the local train. The signal was received shortly after 7 p.m. The suitcase was then thrown from the train, but hundreds of policemen supported by mobile SWAT teams stood waiting along the route. The extortionist was apprehended as he made a move to retrieve the suitcase.

7:47 Adam All right. Let me explain. This is Germany because in Florida when they want money, you got some guy wearing one sandal saying, I'm going to stab you with this spork. They don't do all this extortion stuff.

7:59 Drew Especially radio signals.

8:00 Caller Trains.

8:01 Drew Trains in Florida. Come on.

8:02 Adam This is Germany.

8:03 All right.

8:04 Caller You guys are right.

8:09 Adam But it is true, he did do a slight hiccup and a half on the Deutschmark thing. That's how you play Florida or Germany.

8:16 Drew But to be fair, he could have been stumbling on dollars too. Except what we know is that our callers would have gone, he was found with two and a half million dollars and gone right through it without even stopping.

8:27 Adam Right. If it were Florida. I probably wouldn't have noticed either. You ready? Tom. You're 15. What's up?

8:36 Caller My dad has been drinking for a while and he went into rehab, but like when he got out he wasn't too committed to like getting off the bottle.

8:47 Where's my bourbon?

8:52 Drew What to do about it? Just go to Allotine and let it be. I think in my experience if you possibly can do this, the thing that gets the attention of people with this disease more than anything else is a close relationship sort of checking out them losing connection with those relationships and the only way you're going to be able to sort of withstand that is by you getting connected in a co-dependency recovery program like Allotine. The unfortunate thing Tom, it's a hard thing to swallow at 15, but you can't change that. You can certainly go to him and tell him how painful it is to have a dad who is an alcoholic and for him not to be willing to do something about it, but the reality is you can't change him. And all you can do is focus on yourself right now. Of course he should. He should get a sponsor, he should stay obstinate, he should go to meetings regularly. He will get better if he stays with the program, but if he doesn't he'll drink. Very simple. And then he'll go right back where he was.

9:54 Adam You gotta take care of yourself though Tom.

9:56 Drew Yeah.

9:57 Adam You know what I mean? You can't be, you gotta be careful about being a boozer when you're older.

10:01 Drew Uh oh.

10:04 Adam Smoke a little weed do you?

10:05 No.

10:06 Adam No?

10:07 No.

10:07 Drew I don't think Tom's got the gene.

10:09 Adam Stay away from them drugs.

10:10 Drew Be that as it may.

10:11 Adam Leave that for the big boys. You know what I'm saying?

10:13 Drew You're the child, he's the parent. Don't try to parent the parent, doesn't work.

10:17 Adam That's right. That's right. That's what we had. I had that with my parents. I'm the child, you guys are the retards. We knew that's how it worked.

10:26 Drew We set those rules up real early.

10:27 Adam We were never established.

10:28 I knew it by eight.

10:30 Caller All right. Where are we?

10:32 Adam Bianca, what's happening?

10:33 Caller I'm just hanging out.

10:34 Adam You're doing all right?

10:36 Drew Where do you live?

10:37 Adam You live out here? Mm-hmm.

10:39 Caller Yeah. In Hollywood, I do.

10:41 Drew It's cold. You're from? You're from originally?

10:46 Adam It's so romantic to me when I hear from people. People are from anywhere up north.

10:50 Drew Anywhere cold.

10:51 Adam It's just where they get some rain and some wind. People, was it nice? Where?

10:57 Caller I lived a little bit in a little suburb of Seattle called Edmonds. I mean, it's beautiful if you like the rain. People who move up there from California hate it and get depressed, but I love it.

11:08 Adam I'd go nuts because I go nuts with car and house related stuff.

11:13 Drew Yeah.

11:13 Adam I'd want to do stuff on the house that I couldn't do. I'd get tired of washing my car. All right. You want to talk to Christina or Vanessa?

11:23 Drew Vanessa.

11:25 Adam Vanessa.

11:26 Yeah.

11:26 Adam You're 19?

11:27 Caller Yep.

11:28 Adam What's up?

11:31 Caller Last week, me and my boyfriend had sex in a new position and afterwards my vagina swelled up so much. Usually it does a little, but it was incredibly tight.

11:42 Adam I think she said swelled up.

11:43 Drew Swelled up.

11:44 Adam But she turned into flared and swelled. Swelled up.

11:49 Caller Yeah. It was really big and it hurt. I was just wondering if it was normal.

11:56 Adam Like in a cartoon when you'd hit yourself in the thumb with a hammer and it would just get huge like that?

12:04 Caller Yeah. It hurt so bad that I couldn't walk.

12:06 Drew For how long did that last?

12:12 Caller Probably for a great 24 hours. It was like the next day it still hurt.

12:17 Adam It's a great time for that 24-hour answer. I thought she was going to say like 18 days, 20, about a day.

12:23 Drew She's counting hours.

12:24 Adam Well, wait a second. What position by the way?

12:28 Caller From behind. Like it was the first time we did it.

12:32 Adam Is that the doggy position?

12:35 Caller Yeah.

12:36 Adam Yeah. Okay. You got to clarify that because just from behind could be.

12:39 Caller Okay.

12:40 Adam I mean, Drew told me once we were on a plane, maybe he was drunk, he said about 75 variations on from behind.

12:45 Drew Is that right?

12:46 Adam Yeah.

12:46 Drew Well, you were telling me. You're creative when I'm drunk, huh?

12:48 Adam Yeah.

12:49 Drew Nice. Great. Vanessa, here's the deal. That kind of 24-hour inflammation is usually just from trauma, just from the activity you guys were engaged in. If it had gone on for a few more days, it would make me worry about herpes or vaginitis, other infectious problems. But just 24 hours it goes away completely. Usually that's just irritation. Are you guys wearing condoms?

13:16 Adam Hey, but good times, right?

13:22 Drew All right. Pacific Northwestern or Vanessa? Oh, yeah.

13:25 Adam Portland area. If Vanessa had a boring cadence.

13:30 Drew Maybe it's us.

13:31 Adam Could be us. Bianca, do you think it's us?

13:33 I don't know.

13:35 Caller It's kind of monotone around this end.

13:38 Adam Let's try to pick it up a little.

13:40 Drew Yeah, we got to.

13:40 Adam You sound different. You sound the same.

13:44 Drew We sound a little tired.

13:45 Adam Sound tired? No, I just meant tonally. Same?

13:48 Drew Flat, yeah.

13:50 Adam Something wrong? We need something. We need to slide a potentiometer one way or the other?

13:54 Drew Oh, you mean the actual tone, the actual color of the sound?

13:58 Adam You all right? Well, let's get it going now. All right, here we go. You get in here too, Bianca. Don't just sit back and pass judgment on us. Okay.

14:06 Caller I'm waiting. I'm not.

14:08 Adam It sounded like judgment.

14:10 Caller Okay.

14:11 Adam It did.

14:12 It actually felt like judgment.

14:14 Adam It sounded like criticism, but it felt like judgment.

14:16 Drew Sidebar here. What's going on over here this morning?

14:21 Adam Christina? You're 16? What's up? We got a new and improved show now.

14:28 Caller Lately, I've been experiencing really bad anger problems, and I tend to say that I'm someone that I'm not, and then later I don't remember it. Like, I got mad at my little sister, and I told her my name was Stephanie, so, I mean, that wasn't the first case a long time ago I had gotten into a fight. Well, last year I had gotten into a fight in December at school, and I don't remember getting into the fight until I got arrested and taken into the office. And I remember standing in the crowd watching it, but I just don't remember the fight, and people tell me that I might have a borderline personality. I went to go see a counselor about it because I have, like, major anger problems.

15:05 Drew Well, more than, and dysregulated aggression is part of the borderline syndrome, but more than borderline, it sounds like you may be dissociative, meaning that you sort of check out, don't know where you are when you're getting these very intense states, and maybe even other personalities kick in, which is what multiple personality disorder is all about. Were you badly traumatized when you were growing up?

15:24 Caller I was beaten by my mom for four years, and then she left right before I was four, and she left.

15:31 Drew You were beaten at the age of four, so that's pretty mean.

15:34 Adam She started beating you at birth?

15:38 Caller It's sad because I can remember a lot of stuff for the little while that she was around.

15:44 Drew What do you mean, like what?

15:46 Caller I remember when I was little, I was standing on the coffee table and I knocked her cup over and I remember that she just came after me and she kept hitting me. My dad worked night shifts at this time, so it was right around bedtime, and I remember that I was crawling underneath the table so she couldn't get me or something, and I hit my head and I have like a dent in my head to prove it, and then...

16:08 Adam You do get the dents in the head. I saw it happen once.

16:11 Drew It's weird.

16:13 Adam I saw a guy get a dent in his head, under a table, too.

16:16 Drew And we saw him get a dent in his head.

16:17 Adam He went underneath the table, he popped his head up, and he got a dent.

16:21 Drew Nice.

16:21 Adam Yeah.

16:22 Drew Well, Christina, this heavy, heavy trauma, stuff that takes a lot to deal with and a lot of treatment if you're going to get over it, and yeah, understandably, you'd have these sort of outbursts of rage and aggression that you can't regulate, that's-

16:33 Caller And well, I've also gone through a lot more. I'm sure. I'm seeing a counselor. I just don't know how to open up to people.

16:40 Drew Well, please try. You're the perfect victim. I'm sure people have tried to rape you or have raped you in all kinds of ways.

16:45 Caller I've been raped, and I've had people try to rape me, and I was sexually abused from five to seven because the guy told me that it was okay.

16:53 Adam Well, okay. Where's your mom now?

16:56 Caller I have no idea.

16:57 Drew Burning in Hell, perhaps?

16:58 Adam That'd be nice. I wish. Who's she? Well, listen, somebody beat on her when she was a girl. All you people that were abused always can have that satisfaction of knowing that your mom, your dad, whatever it was, they were abused too. That's why they're abusing you. It's a little consolation, but at least I guarantee someone has beaten on your mom when she was a girl. All right.

17:20 Caller No, her mom was an alcoholic.

17:23 Adam Okay.

17:24 Drew And beat her.

17:24 Adam Who is raising you now? Your dad?

17:27 Caller Yeah.

17:27 Adam How is he?

17:28 Caller He's out of a job right now, but he's wonderful. He has not laid a finger on me. He's been a father like I needed him. If I needed him, I can go to him for anything.

17:40 Adam Well, you got to stick with that counseling. And that's it. I mean, look, you know what you're doing. You've had a bad hand dealt to you, but you seem like you're dealing with it okay.

17:50 Drew Got a stable relationship with dad.

17:52 Caller Is my relationship with dad stable?

17:54 Adam Yeah.

17:55 Drew No, but having that improves your prognosis quite a bit.

17:58 Adam Yeah. Want me to tell you how this guy got the dent in his head?

18:02 Drew I was just thinking about that. What, how did that happen?

18:05 Adam I think I told you this, Drew. I had bottomed out in my life. Which time? I bottomed out multiple times. I was probably, I was a little too old to be doing this, but I was probably... 36. No, I was like 28. I was probably like 28. And I was working, I was working for myself, building cabinets and doing finished work. And I was just a freelance carpenter. And one of the guys who I employed, who was from my comedy troupe, was going out to try out for a group called Party Pals. You dress up as a Ninja Turtle. And you get dressed up as like Superman or a Ninja Turtle and they pay you 45 bucks and they give you the costume. And you got to put the part I couldn't figure out. You got to put the head on like 100 feet from the kids party.

18:54 Drew They can't see you.

18:55 Adam Yeah. It means you're driving your car with the Ninja Turtle head on or you're walking down the street like a retard with this turtle head on. And these things would be in parks and stuff in the middle of the day. So you'd have to park like down the street and you're just trucking up the highway with your Ninja. Anyway, the thing smelled. You know, he didn't make any money. He said, anyway, I showed up his house when they said I'm trying out for party pals. You want to go? And I thought, geez, I don't know, like technically it's in the business. You know what I mean? Like you're performing, you're getting paid to perform. I swear. That's how people I was desperate. But I thought, I don't even know if I'd go that low. But I went with him to do the audition anyway.

19:33 Drew I remember if you told me the story in the past, you're thinking was, geez, I can't go that low and they won't even hire me anyway.

19:39 Adam Yeah. Yeah. So I went down there with him and there was like 20 other desperate actors all standing in a very small room, all vying for the limited number of positions to get paid 45 bucks to dress up as a turtle and go to kids parties. And we're all just standing around and they're like, all right, well, let's get started with a simple improv drill. We'll do something called machine. You start as like one component of a machine and everyone else will get connected to you. And I'd done a bunch of improv, so I knew what this thing was. And it's fine if you go last. If you go first, you're screwed, you know, so yeah. So it's like, all right, Adam, how about you go first? And so you have to sit there and make some sort of repetitive retarded movement and people have to join in. But it always takes a while. And you're just standing in the room with 13 people looking at you, going, moving your arms some stupid way. I mean, I just I was like, oh, Christ, I stood up, I sort of move my arms like a robot. And after about it seemed like 10 minutes of doing it, nothing going on. I turned to the woman and I said, you want me to make a noise with this? And she goes, it'd be nice. Oh, Christ, I got to kill myself.

20:54 Drew Why don't you yell at her?

20:55 Adam Anyway, the very the very last person on this connect robot, connect the machinery thing, decided to get smart, went under the table to do their movement or do something and then lifted her head up and whacked it on the bottom of this table and left it dead. And I remember thinking, I feel bad for you, but I'm glad because it's made a stop. Like once she whacked her head, the machine stopped and everyone went, all right, and I got to call a couple of days later. Turned out I made it.

21:21 Drew Oh, good.

21:22 Adam Party pal.

21:22 Drew Did you go do it?

21:23 Adam No, never did it. But my buddy Paul did do it. And I used to go to the park and watch him as the turtle and make fun of him. Yeah, it's good times, you know.

21:31 Drew Oh, boy.

21:32 Adam I want a quick call. What do you say?

21:33 Drew There's a Germany and Florida one on six.

21:35 Adam No, no, Drew, we got to help the kids. We got to help the kids.

21:38 Drew All right, Kyle. 16.

21:39 Adam Kyle?

21:40 Caller Yeah?

21:41 Adam You're 16? What's up?

21:46 Caller First of all, I got to tell you, Adam, you're my role model and, man, a show isn't any good without you anymore. And my first question is for Dr. Drew. I take Concerta for AHD, and previously I'd taken a bunch of other medicines such as Paxil and Ritalin. I was wondering if they could cause a- Stunt. They could stunt the growth of certain appendages.

22:27 Drew No.

22:28 Caller They can't?

22:29 Drew No. But the fact that you're having that thought makes me concerned that you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as much as AHD, so kind of watch out. Concerta basically is Ritalin, so. There you go.

22:43 Caller Yeah?

22:44 Adam What are you listening to?

22:46 Caller I just have radio on. It's-

22:51 Drew Not the radio station we're on, mind you.

22:52 Adam You have another radio station on?

22:55 Caller Yeah, because-

22:56 Adam Could you turn it down next time you call, jackass? Yeah, all right. Well, excuse me. I just, I don't like hearing the guy's music come through. And obviously, here's a guy who doesn't- any distractions at all are going to F him up. He is not a diamond cutter, this guy. You know what I mean? He's already having difficulty getting out of the gate and forming a question. Now he's got the music in the background. Look, look, let me just say this, people. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. And if your weakness is forming a sentence, do not have the radio station going while you're talking on a radio. Yes?

23:32 Drew Good advice.

23:33 Adam Thank you. Let me tell you this. The Ataris are coming in here tomorrow night. And Adrian Young, the drummer from that band I put a curse on many years ago. No doubt. Whatever half of them, Drew. I put a curse on the band about eight years ago.

23:50 And then pow, they took right off.

23:53 Adam Bianca, maybe I'll put a curse on you tonight.

23:55 Caller It's a good thing.

23:56 Caller I dressed up as Gwen Stefani for Halloween. Oh, really?

23:58 Drew Yeah.

23:59 Adam If I put a curse on you, man, you better get a wheelbarrow to bring your cash home in. Because Drew, the Corolla curse.

24:06 Drew It's a good thing.

24:07 Adam It's huge. And also Jack Black and Tenacious D will be in here a little bit later in the week. Me Baby, the show the lovely Bianca's from, Tuesday nights, 9 o'clock, UPN. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

24:21 Hello, this is your radio.

24:41 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline, I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-L-O-V-E-1-9-1. Bianca Kajlich is our guest tonight. Me Baby's name for show. Dan Cortese. Cortese. Cortese. Tuesday nights, nine o'clock. UPN, everybody. All right. Where was we? Yes, when we left off.

25:08 Drew Two.

25:08 Adam Two. Jeremy?

25:11 Yeah.

25:12 Adam You're 20?

25:13 Caller Yeah.

25:14 Adam What's up?

25:14 Caller I heard you guys talking about last night, how if you do too much of something like masturbating, you know, you could get that whole thing turned off and like it'll stop working after a while.

25:28 Drew That's not what we said.

25:29 Adam We never said that.

25:30 Caller No, it was, well, it was about the like-

25:33 Drew We were talking about no free luncheon from Mother Nature. We were discussing whether or not we meant the same thing as it pertained to this kind of activity.

25:40 Caller Yeah, but my question is how much that could, could that happen with masturbating at all or what?

25:47 Adam No.

25:48 Drew No.

25:49 Adam I've never gotten to the bottom of my balls. That's what you're talking about.

25:53 Drew You've had powder come out.

25:55 Adam I've had some powder come out once. Yeah. So there's like- It blinded, it blinded my, well, I call them my salient. At temporary, I will use it like a squid. You know what I mean? Poof. And I'm gone. When it clears-

26:11 Drew Pandora.

26:12 Adam I'm gone. That's right.

26:15 Drew All right. But Jeremy, how much you doing it?

26:17 Caller Oh, like three times a day. Oh, I cut down a lot. Like, God, sometimes-

26:21 Adam What were you at? You cut down to three times a day?

26:24 Caller Yeah.

26:26 Adam Wow. What was, where were you at?

26:30 Caller Usually no more than five, but- I was actually thinking about going to see a psychologist about it or something because it was just like-

26:37 Adam You cut down from-

26:38 Drew To three.

26:39 Adam You just cut one out, right?

26:41 Drew Two out.

26:42 Oh, no more than five.

26:43 Drew No more than, actually five.

26:46 Adam People always speak in riddles when it comes to jacking off.

26:48 Drew Jeremy, will you-

26:49 Adam They never just give you a number.

26:50 Drew Were you sexually abused growing up?

26:52 Caller No.

26:53 Drew No.

26:53 Adam All right. How about you just slow it down a little?

26:56 Caller Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do.

26:58 Drew Are you using internet or anything like that?

27:00 Caller Yeah, not so much anymore. I used to be on like four hours a night using the internet.

27:05 Drew Yeah, because you-

27:06 Caller But I definitely cut down from that. It's not-

27:08 Adam You gotta get busy.

27:09 Drew But you're sounding like an internet sex addict. Do you get the point where you can't control it and it's affecting your life?

27:15 Caller Yeah, that's why I was actually thinking about seeing a psychologist or a doctor or something.

27:21 Drew There are not a lot of people out there trained to deal with this or even to understand how to assess it. The best place I know of is actually in California at the Del Lamo Treatment Center or in Arizona at the Meadows. You might call the Meadows. They probably have resources. Well, he's in New York.

27:37 Adam Let's go to a therapist.

27:38 Drew This is a specific addiction.

27:41 Adam Okay, but what if he got busy?

27:44 Drew That's a little naive because it's like saying that people drink too much because they have too much time on their hands. Therefore, we ought to just get them busy and therefore they'll stop drinking.

27:51 Adam Well, yeah, but this is, I don't know. I just think this is marginally different than that. I mean, that is a substance that you ingest that's addicting.

28:01 Drew You're right.

28:02 Adam And listen to Drew.

28:04 Drew It is a point I've always made too, which is that usually the behavioral addictions follow a chemical addiction if you're really gonna have a true behavioral addiction.

28:11 Adam But I mean, here's what ends up happening. When guys get depressed, they beat off a lot. You know, this is how it works. And what happens is they're not working very much. They have too much time.

28:25 Drew There's something to what you're saying. There is, yeah.

28:28 Adam Thank you.

28:29 Drew But on the other hand, I think that if he goes to just, well, if I, better he should go to General Sarcophagus.

28:34 Adam Well, let's find out what's going on. Are you working?

28:37 Caller I am now. I wasn't when I was doing it like five times a day or more, occasionally. I mean, it was give or take five times a day. But since I got a job, I have cut down to like three times, usually two.

28:50 Drew The way he says that, I mean, my instinct is to sort of do the math the way I do it with my alcoholic patients, which is multiply times two.

28:57 Adam Oh, really? I mean, you figure, so five is 10 and two is four. What are you doing? You're working, you're a pastry chef?

29:07 Caller No, I'm a lifeguard.

29:09 Drew Lifeguard.

29:10 Adam All right.

29:11 Drew Of course, that's the next thing.

29:12 Adam We're heading into the winter, right? Are you lifeguarding in a indoor pool or something?

29:17 Caller Yeah, in an indoor pool, hotel.

29:19 Adam And you're working 40 hours a week?

29:22 Caller No, I'm a part-time student and I'm working like 20 hours a week. I'm a full-time student working 20 hours a week.

29:29 Drew Are you in Manhattan?

29:30 Caller No.

29:32 Drew All right.

29:32 Adam You have to stay as busy as humanly possible.

29:36 Drew Let me get a relationship.

29:38 Caller And you think that'll be...

29:39 Adam Yeah, how about a girlfriend?

29:40 Drew And I think a therapist would be a great idea. There's something going on Jeremy, there is something.

29:44 Adam Seems like lifeguard would be a pretty good tail job. I mean, you know what I mean? You just hang around in your trunks. You position yourself so your nuts hang out when you're up on that thing. Let the ladies know you mean business. You know what I mean? You could never really get fired for that because no one would think you did it on purpose.

30:05 Drew You couldn't prevent that from happening, could you?

30:07 Adam No, no, huge scrotum, huge scrotum. Drew's right, mammoth scrotum. And the women get hot when they see some scrotum.

30:16 Caller Yes, Bianca?

30:18 Drew Bianca's very impressed, very impressed.

30:22 Adam See, that's all you need to know about men and women. Like a man sees some nipples poking through a t-shirt, he starts to get an erection. Woman sees a sack hanging out of the jogging shirt. I know, but the female equivalent would be exciting to a guy because there would be, there's a sexual connotation to the whole thing.

30:46 Drew Once it's a little closer to sex, that's for a guy.

30:49 Adam Right, it's something, it's something. A guy could see a little anus hanging out of something and get aroused by it. Woman, if you saw some sack or even some junk coming through some shorts or something, would be nothing, nothing for you.

31:04 Caller It would be something, but it wouldn't be on the positive end of things.

31:08 Adam But what about a guy who's got a nice package?

31:10 Caller Okay, let me tell you this. When I was 18 years old, I had my first experience with somebody's sack accidentally hanging out. I was younger than that. Maybe I was like 17. And it was quite possibly one of the grossest things I'd ever seen, just because it was so inadvertent.

31:28 Adam But were you into the, yeah, but here's the thing. There's 63-year-old trucker sack, and then there's like 19-year-old guy you're hot for sack. You see what I'm saying? This guy wasn't a guy you were hot for.

31:41 Caller No, but he wasn't, I mean, he wasn't.

31:43 Adam This is dad's friend's sack.

31:46 Caller Well, I mean, no, no, no, no.

31:48 Caller It was, it was an older guy, but it was.

31:51 Adam That's bad.

31:52 Caller But I don't, I don't see how a younger guy would have done it for me.

31:55 Adam I'm saying if you caught some sack from someone you were interested in, if you'd been sacked by someone you're interested in, you may not have had such a bad sack taste in your mouth.

32:08 Drew Okay.

32:08 Adam That's all I'm saying.

32:09 Drew I beg your pardon. Bianca's like, I'm gonna kick my publicist's ass and put me on the show again.

32:14 Adam She knew, she knew how the game went. She was here about eight months ago or something.

32:18 Caller This is the first thing I can comment on.

32:20 Caller All right.

32:21 Adam So, but the point is, is sack never a good thing for a woman. But I have spoken to women that if they're, and see for a woman, it's all about whether they're attracted to the guy or not. I mean, if they're into the guy and the guy's got a nice package, it might be something there.

32:36 Drew At least overlook everything.

32:37 Adam Well, no, I'm saying a nice package on a guy that a woman is interested in.

32:42 Caller I just don't think it really exists. If you love somebody, it becomes something that you love, but just seeing it is not really... I don't mean...

32:50 Drew They're non-visual. I don't even gotta remember that.

32:52 Adam No, no, no, no. Listen, they are not like men, but they're not non-visual. They are attracted to attractive men. Tom Selleck gets a lot more tail than me. I was trying to think of someone who's unattractive, but I started, why scour around? Just go to me. But here's the point, it's not that funny. Idiot. Drew, you wanna see some sex? Here's what I'm saying. If there's a guy and I'm not-

33:22 Drew Are you gonna drop Trout? Are you gonna drop Trout? I'll drop Trout.

33:25 I swear I'll drop Trout.

33:26 Drew Don't do it.

33:26 Adam I'm crazy enough to drop Trout.

33:27 Drew You would do it.

33:28 Adam I've done it.

33:28 Drew He's done it many times.

33:30 Caller I personally do not want to see it.

33:31 Adam You don't want me to drop Trout.

33:33 Drew Don't say anything. Don't say anything, you will.

33:34 Caller I'll do it. Watch out.

33:35 Drew Watch out.

33:35 Adam I'm a maniac. Okay, here's the point. If there's a guy-

33:39 Drew I'm doing bad radio, okay?

33:40 Adam I'm talking about a guy that you're not, if you're in love, you're in love, but I'm just talking about there's a guy, he's cute, you work with him, you kind of, you have a crush on a guy and he's got a nice package. That's a plus.

33:57 Caller But let me tell you something. I don't, as far as size goes or that type of thing, I don't think women look at scrotum and get excited.

34:09 Adam No, I'm not talking about scrotum now. I'm now putting, I'm now creating the entire package.

34:14 Drew The unit.

34:15 Adam The unit, the package. The package includes everything.

34:19 Caller That's the bottom line.

34:21 Adam Not the scrotum, the package. I'm now including, I'm now making the whole package.

34:26 Caller Got it.

34:26 Adam You see what I'm saying?

34:27 Caller Still not pretty.

34:29 Adam Listen, I've talked to women that like, I know you think it's pretty, Adam.

34:31 Drew She loves filling out the pants. It's hard for you to imagine male gente and not being cute. But, there you go. Please.

34:38 Adam How dare you? Come on, Bianca. You know, if you're really into a guy and he's putting on some jeans, he's got a nice ass, you like that, right?

34:45 Drew Do.

34:45 Adam You turn around the front, you see, he's filling out the area there. I'm not saying yanking it up high and making a fake vagina in front like Drew does once in a while. Remember you pull your sweatpants up and you grab them with your teeth?

34:59 Drew Yeah.

35:00 Adam And you run down the hall.

35:00 Drew I thought that was funny, though.

35:02 Adam All right, but you know what I'm saying. All right, nice ass though, right?

35:06 Caller Nice ass is a good thing.

35:09 Adam Rose?

35:10 Caller Hi.

35:11 Adam You're 17? What's up?

35:14 Caller I'm sorry, I'm very nervous.

35:15 Adam All right, well, we won't talk to you then. What do you like in a guy, Bianca? Besides ass.

35:23 Caller I want to talk to her.

35:25 Caller She sounded really nice.

35:25 Adam Sense of humor?

35:27 Caller Sense of humor is important. Not necessarily.

35:31 Adam You've got to like animals.

35:33 Caller Yeah, has to like animals, has to like family. Not a big drinker. Had my fair share with those.

35:38 Oh really?

35:41 Adam Nice, you've been to some alcoholic guys, huh?

35:45 Caller Yeah.

35:45 Adam Yeah, they're trouble.

35:46 Caller I had some funny meet the parents experiences.

35:49 Adam Were their parents alcoholics?

35:50 Caller Of course. No, my parents, I brought the person home and my parents had to deal with.

35:55 Adam Oh, and they got stood up during like Thanksgiving?

35:59 Caller Yeah, he gave my dad a t-tister.

36:00 Adam Oh, really? It's a good man.

36:04 Drew Did your dad?

36:05 Adam Dad showed him the sack and then showed him the door.

36:11 Caller Freaked out. Well, I think.

36:13 Drew What's your dad do for a living?

36:15 Caller He's retired, but he was an anesthesiologist. He's from Czechoslovakia. So he's like really, you know, classic cool.

36:22 Drew Did he threaten to?

36:25 Caller No, cause he's not really violent. I think he was a firstly more, more in sense that he got himself to the point where he was actually kind of tipsy with the boyfriend. So I think that he felt bad that he was, they were arguing about the legal, legalization of drugs together.

36:39 Adam Fantastic.

36:41 Drew This is why, that's the conversation I want to have with my daughter's boyfriend.

36:45 Adam You can't bring people home. You just can't. And you know, when the conversation starts, you can just see at the very beginning, you got, you got to just nip it in the bud, you know, where they start, you know, they say, I think a woman should have the right to choose. Yeah, but don't you think it's murder when you, it's like, now you got to stand up, start a fire. A personary fire. That's where I go into the bathroom. I just, I just dump rubbing alcohol into the garbage can, throw the candle in there and just start screaming, hey, hey, hey, that's what you got to do. Because with the wine flowing a couple, 10 minutes later, it's an all out FFest.

37:19 Drew What I'm intrigued though is Bianca said she's had a couple of these experiences. Your poor dad.

37:23 Caller Well, no, I mean, that was really the, that was really like the worst thing. And then I think I got a book in the mail from my mother that was like all the red flags, like a book about watching for the warning signs. And then I just became much more selective about when I brought a person home and making sure that I kind of knew. Well, I mean, it's hard to tell in the beginning, if you're smitten with someone, you kind of bypass the signs of place.

37:49 Adam And the alcoholic guys are always more interesting. They're more fun.

37:52 Drew Dramatic.

37:53 Adam They're dramatic.

37:54 Caller They're bad boys.

37:54 Adam They're bad boys, you're like that, yeah. See, we'd get along because I booze pretty good, but I just slide into a stupor. I don't really talk.

38:03 Drew Yeah, he wouldn't even have a conversation with your dad.

38:05 Adam No, we wouldn't talk.

38:06 Caller Oh, this guy did that too, but it just didn't happen to be the one circumstance.

38:10 Drew Your dad would think he brought like a Labrador home or something.

38:13 Adam Yeah, just drink his booze, sit in the corner, talk to him about anesthetics. All right, let's-

38:18 Drew You picked the house up though.

38:19 Adam Let's take a, I was having a handy, let's take ourselves a little bit of a break. Why don't we come back?

38:27 Drew Come on.

38:29 Adam That's not a good tease call. Tiffany, that's a six-year-old girl. Dad's not around. Six-year-old? Oh, she hasn't shown up. How did we find her? Okay, we'll talk to Tiffany, the very provocative and interesting Tiffany, after this. Loveline.

38:46 Caller Okay, wait, wait, oh, my hair, my hair.

38:49 Adam We'll be right back.

38:52 Drew Live 105, Alternative, San Francisco.

38:55 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew, phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Bianca Kajlich is our guest tonight. Me Baby, name of the show, UPN, nine o'clock, Tuesday nights, tomorrow night. They're Kitties and the Atari's coming up this week, also Jack Black and Papa Roach next week, Cypress Hill, Linkin Park, and Triumph the Insult Wonder Dog, who's absolutely hysterical. So I think that'll be Robert Smeigel with his hand up Triumph. So all that to look forward to in the next few days and weeks here on Loveline. All right, Drew, do we got to do this in store? Oh no, we don't do this thing on the air, right?

39:40 Caller No, no, no, right?

39:41 Drew No, yeah.

39:42 Adam Holy Christ.

39:43 Drew Yeah, Yorba Linda. Oh yeah.

39:46 Adam Once a year we got to do these indoor, in store calendar signing things where we got to kill a Saturday signing calendars, you know, for the kids.

39:56 Drew Right.

39:56 Adam For the kids. It's important. But they're always very far away from where we live. And it's, you know, hey, I mean, I understand. You got to spread it around. Like, you know, one year might be very far away and the next year might be somewhere close to where everyone lives.

40:14 Drew We had Pasadena one year, remember?

40:16 Adam Well, that's still close for you. Moderately far for everybody else on the air.

40:22 Drew Not where most is.

40:23 Adam Not Yorba Linda. Holy Christ. Can't just have the goddamn thing in Sherman Oaks like human beings. You got to go out to Yorba Linda. And, you know, the thing is always like, oh, that's where all the people are. Well, screw them. Let them drive to us. Jesus Christ. We got to go to their house. They're such huge fans. Let them gas up the Honda and head on out to Sherman Oaks. You see what I'm saying? It was like, well, that's where they are. Well, good. Let them come here. Such huge fans. Oh, all right. Don't get me going. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. It's going to be great. I hope it rains like I said last time. Yeah, it's going to be great. Last time we went there, we went into Best Buy and we were done had that chick. It come up a little snot nose. How old was that chick? 16? 18? Yeah. She came up to me and she goes, I'm just walking around Best Buy and looking for a TV. And she goes, are you as big an asshole in real life as you are on TV?

41:24 Drew Adam had a great response.

41:28 Adam I just looked at her. I just looked at her. All I said is, beat it. And she ran and it was great. That's awesome. Let me tell you, beat it. Huge, barely used anymore. Had a sense this guy ringing on my doorbell a year ago. He's down there. I just opened the window upstairs. He was down there. She's like, beat it. It's this guy just ran down the stairs. It's the ultimate scram.

41:53 It's scram.

41:54 Adam You gotta leave when someone yells, beat it. You gotta go. That's old school. Beat it. And it's short, it's sweet. It's to the point. It's not, there's a threat implied, but there's no technical threat.

42:07 Drew Right.

42:08 Adam It's got the word beat in it though, which is nice. Yeah, people just turn around and leave. You could stand out in front of people who live at their own house and you'll beat it, Adam. They'd get back in the car, just drive somewhere. Yeah, it's nice. Drew, you just beat it more often. Bianca, beat it. Definitely. Yeah, it's good. Tiffany? You're 28?

42:31 Caller Yes, I'm 28.

42:32 Adam What's up?

42:33 Caller I have a six-year-old daughter and I'm a single mother and her dad lives in another state. And I just wanted to know what I can do to prevent her from becoming a stripper or like both sides of my family, we had come from a long line of single mothers.

42:50 Adam Well, let's see. Don't have any more kids without a dad that's gonna hang out.

42:56 Drew What about a stable relationship in your life?

42:59 Caller Well, I haven't met any, I date, but of course, I don't bring them home to her, but I haven't met anyone yet, so.

43:06 Drew So there's a guy in the Midwest doing some studies on outcomes in adolescence. And one of the things that he has said is that a stable partner does more to help you raise a kid than just about anything else. So it's the presence of somebody who's intimately involved and available and supportive can go a long way. A stable relationship outside the home is also useful. And then.

43:30 Adam Well, you mean like a teacher, counselor?

43:33 Drew Sure, but one sustained over time.

43:35 Adam You have a girl? You know, you can get a lot like, I always played a lot of Pop Warner football and stuff like that. You know, do sports, do things, get involved with other people. There's sort of male figures around. I mean, that kind of stuff's good. I mean, here's the thing. It's not a death sentence. I mean, what you don't wanna do is bring home some pedophile and really screw her up. Right now, here's the thing. If you do a good job and you stay on top of your game, it's never as good as having a loving father around. But if you do a good job and nothing bad happens to her, she's gonna be okay.

44:12 Caller Well, I mean, he calls her. I know this is not enough, but he calls her every day and he comes home every other week. Is there anything else he can do other than moving back that I help her out?

44:23 Drew He can sustain that till she's 20.

44:27 Adam I mean, he doesn't miss the big holidays like- You guys are Jewish, yes?

44:33 Caller No.

44:33 Drew No?

44:34 Adam No.

44:34 Caller All right.

44:35 Adam Well, whatever you are, I'm usually not wrong about this. But the point is, he's gotta send her the gifts on the holidays and that kind of stuff. It'd be nice if he got her a pony. Keep it in the apartment. All girls love those ponies.

44:49 Drew What is that?

44:49 Adam Bianca, you love the ponies?

44:51 Caller No. My sister does, though.

44:53 Adam Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I'm saying.

44:55 Caller I just like to disagree.

44:57 Adam You just like to be contrary. You wanna ride your contrary pony. All right, where are we, Drew? What happened to your caller up here?

45:04 Drew Is she up there? Maybe still.

45:06 Adam Someone wants to talk about Drew's book. Hello?

45:10 Hello?

45:11 Drew No, that's not Rose.

45:12 Adam Is this Rose?

45:14 No.

45:16 Adam It's a little confusing.

45:17 Drew We must have called the wrong number.

45:19 Adam Let's see.

45:21 Drew Florida or Germany? We have one minute.

45:22 Adam A quick Florida or Germany, all right. Jason?

45:25 Drew Oops. Chad. Oh, wrong one.

45:27 Caller Sorry, sorry.

45:28 Adam Chad is line six. Six. What's up, Chad?

45:38 Caller Hey, I got a Florida or Germany for you guys.

45:39 Adam All right, real fast.

45:41 Caller All right. The police are searching for a man they say could be the stupidest burglar in the world. They had, the unknown man broke into a building of a company and at night and violently assaulted a coffee machine which contained only tokens. Despite the sign on the door explaining that it did not take cash. He then went on to steal a mobile phone which only worked on the grounds of the company and a cordless screwdriver, but forgot the batteries and charger. Finally, he went and drank a can of Coke that was 12 months past its sell date. And they never found him.

46:16 Adam That's a tough one.

46:17 Drew That could be California.

46:19 Adam The tokens in the coffee machine sound very German to me.

46:23 Drew Yeah, me too.

46:23 Adam Cordless drill. I'm going Germany again as Florida as this sounds.

46:29 Caller Okay, yeah, you're right, Germany.

46:30 Drew Yeah.

46:31 Adam Drew, what am I batting on this Germany and Florida?

46:33 Drew Yeah, I think you missed maybe one because we talked.

46:36 Adam You got to be impressed. I mean, I know you're pretty tough not to crack.

46:39 Caller Well, you only got a 50-50 chance of choosing.

46:42 Drew That's judgment again. That's judgment, I feel it.

46:45 Adam Wow, I feel like drinking. She makes me want to drink.

46:48 Drew I get that.

46:48 Adam It's interesting. Yeah.

46:49 Caller Maybe that was it.

46:51 Adam Yeah, were these guys alcoholics before they made me drunk? Did she drive them to drink? Interesting. All right, Drew, I'm going to go have a quick pop for my hip flask. And we'll be right back after this.

47:02 Caller Okay, so I know there's nothing wrong with me. So what's up? 877-889-DATE.

47:19 Loveline, 1-800-LOVE-191.

47:42 Adam Hey, everybody, it's Loveline. I'm Adam, that's Dr. Drew. Bianca Kajlich is our guest tonight. Me Baby, name of her show. Tuesday Nights on UPM, nine o'clock.

47:54 Drew Brought you lots of pens, Adams. Your pen, here's a selects a pen.

47:59 Adam Let me tell you what I'm doing. Let me tell you my new policy. Here's what happens. Every year we do this calendar signing. I know I've gotten into this now, and it gets further and further away from where everyone lives. I thought we were doing it in the same place we were at last time, which is far enough. This year it's a Yorba Linda, which I don't believe I've ever been to. I don't even know where that is. Can we just go to Las Vegas? Does that ever sell some time? Only takes six hours to get there. And then it was like, well, don't be late. Don't be late. But I don't know how long it takes to get to Yorba Linda. And here's my deal. Here's what I'm gonna do, Drew. Don't tell anybody. I leave one hour before the gig. They give you 52 minute travel time. I'm leaving 50 minutes before I have to be there. And if I get there three hours late, so be it. I'm leaving at 50. That's it. Holy Christ. What about some gas money? Here's what I'm saying. We're already killing a Saturday. Do we have to dismember it and mash it into the ground too by putting three hours of travel time on top of the five hours we're signing the calendars? Jesus Christ. Can they ever get anywhere near where anyone lives? We're on year number 10 of this and it's always some outskirt bum F city. God knows where. Is it a practical joke, Drew? Are they effing with us? Jesus Christ. Just put it in town. How about Hollywood, you retards?

49:25 Caller Your Belinda.

49:27 Adam Does anyone know where your, who knows where your Belinda is? You know what your Belinda means? Effing far in Spanish. Your Belinda. Everyone's got to schlep out to your Belinda. It's beautiful out there. The people are there. Don't want to be there.

49:43 Drew I think we were in Fountain Valley the last couple of years. That would have been this. We're just going south.

49:49 Adam It's such a killer. Just take a Saturday and just rape it. Just sodomize it and rape it and throw its bloody carcass on the side of the road. That's what it does to a Saturday. But hey, listen, I love to see the kids. Don't get me wrong.

50:06 Drew Well, Stryker, the show that preceded us in Los Angeles, I was in his studio and he said, is Adam going to yell at me again this year?

50:14 Adam Well, if he doesn't hurry up and sign, I will. This is the other thing, too. There's a line, 7,000 F-ups along, 7,000 kids. And we're all lined up at a table. All the jocks, all 13 K-rock jocks are all lined up. And I'm always at the end because I show up an hour late. And whoever's in front of me is putting like rainbow tape and sprinkles and stuff. And they're signing their names to Hello Kitty stickers and stuff. And so the line almost stops. There was almost a riot about three years ago when I announced that I was leaving at four o'clock. So we had to get moving. And we never got moving. That was good times. All right, we're rolling along. All right, Rose, we don't want to live in the past.

50:58 Drew Rose.

50:58 Caller Yes, sir.

51:00 Drew Sorry, we lost you there for a while.

51:01 Caller Yeah. I hung up by accident. I was wondering if you're going to get your book on audio tape.

51:08 Drew I don't know. You might want to send a little email or maybe a letter off to HarperCollins, Reagan Books. I don't know.

51:14 Caller I've been signed in Canada and I can't.

51:16 Drew Yeah.

51:16 Adam It's never going to happen.

51:17 Caller Well, we were going to do a period.

51:19 Caller Yeah.

51:20 Drew This is supposed to be a Canadian release, but I haven't heard when yet.

51:22 Caller Yeah, because I'm going blind, so I can't read regular size print.

51:26 Drew What are you going blind from?

51:27 Caller Pardon me?

51:28 Drew What are you going blind from?

51:29 Caller A rare eye disease called Jargarts.

51:33 Drew How do you spell that?

51:35 Caller S-T-A-R-G-A-R-G-T-S.

51:42 Drew I'm not familiar with that at all. What is it?

51:46 One in 20,000 people get it.

51:48 Caller It's where your retina fully disintegrates from the middle out.

51:52 Drew Like a macular degeneration sort of thing?

51:54 Yeah, except it's much rarer.

51:57 Caller Usually old people get it.

51:59 Drew I'm sorry.

52:01 Adam It sounds like some sort of astronaut drink or something though. It doesn't sound bad. You'd be surprised. Listen, when does it seem like you're going to be blind all the way?

52:13 Caller My doctor said when I was 19.

52:16 Adam When you were 19? And at 19 it means not even seeing light?

52:23 Caller They said there's a good chance I might see light and whatnot.

52:26 Adam What about all these things, these implants and stuff they're working on now?

52:31 Caller He said come back in 20 years and there might be something.

52:35 Adam 20 years? Why do doctors have to be such a bummer?

52:37 You know what I mean?

52:39 Adam They go like, I give you three days. They go, you'll never walk again. Come see me in 20 years.

52:46 Drew Well, one of the things you want to do is help people begin preparing for whatever reality is tossing their way. And as opposed to clinging to things that are not likely.

52:54 Adam What's wrong with clinging to little something?

52:56 Drew Because you don't deal with what is. You start processing and managing what you've got.

53:00 Adam Let me tell you what is, buddy. That's what is. See what I'm saying?

53:03 Drew That's cool.

53:04 Adam See what I'm saying, Bianca? This is what is. You know what I mean?

53:08 Drew She's impressed by that, I could tell.

53:09 Adam I'm pointing my head with a ball-pointed pen. That's what is. Hey, Rose? I'm sorry to hear about this, but I do have this sneaking suspicion that oftentimes people that are disabled end up having better lives or seem to end up having better lives. Now, I'm not talking about, you know, working a wheelchair with a silly straw for the rest of your life. I'm just talking about the basic kind, like the blind over here.

53:38 Drew Disability brings out strengths.

53:39 Adam It somehow, I don't know what it is, but it brings, I don't know, gives things a context or a focus or an appreciation or something. So that's going to happen for you, Rose. I just know it. Please. All right. So I'll tell you what. Drew will come by. You're in British Columbia?

54:01 Drew Vancouver?

54:02 Adam Vancouver.

54:04 Caller Very close to Vancouver.

54:05 Adam All right. So that's about, well, I think you got to go through British Columbia to get to Yorba Linda.

54:10 Drew Oh, of course.

54:11 Adam I believe so.

54:12 Drew We can swing by and we can swing out to take a few minutes out of the path, by the way. Yeah.

54:16 Adam Yeah. It's just off the beat there. All right. So Drew will come by and read it to you himself, okay? One day, Drew will read the entire book over the air.

54:26 Drew If you'd allow me, I'd be happy to.

54:27 Adam I'd be fine.

54:28 I'll just go home.

54:29 Drew By the way, I've been, again, driving myself nutty with the Amazon reviews, but the reviews that have been coming in lately have been very kind and very, you know, my spirits built back up again.

54:38 Adam Don't worry.

54:39 Drew Even though the other ones were thoughtful and accurate, they were still a lot of them.

54:44 Adam Drew, what is it about you that makes you do that on the internet? Is it narcissism or is it just you like to twist, you know, you like to throw a little salt in your wound? What are you looking for there? What is that impulse? Everyone has it.

54:58 Drew I'm trying to figure it out. I can't quite read it in myself.

55:00 Adam I don't have it.

55:02 Drew Yeah, you don't have it at all because you don't care. See, for me, it is my pathology is I'm too focused on other people. I define everything about other people. And that's the flip side of your pathology with you define nothing by other people. You don't care about other people.

55:15 Adam No, I just I don't care about myself.

55:18 Drew Yeah, you do.

55:18 Adam No, like, you know, that's what I'm saying. Like I did Jimmy Kimmel Live on Friday. I did all right. People said it was good. I didn't feel like it was that great. It's been on my TiVo for a couple of days. It's going to fall off my TiVo. I don't want to watch it. And I'm like uncomfortable.

55:36 Drew Yeah.

55:36 Adam I mean, if I was hysterical, I'd probably watch it.

55:39 Drew I do the same thing too.

55:40 Adam Bianca, you watch yourself?

55:42 Caller Compulsively.

55:43 Adam Really?

55:44 Caller Most people.

55:44 Drew But how about what other people write or say about you?

55:47 Caller Yeah, I'm like a freak on the Internet. I have to see what is written.

55:51 Adam See, I know it's it's it's going to it'll drive you nuts.

55:54 Caller But not because but when I read it, it doesn't affect the way that I feel about what I've done. I just have to know what they're saying. I don't know.

56:03 Adam See, my thing is if you don't turn it on, it doesn't exist. Like the Internet is just some more like the Matrix. It's just out there. And if you don't ever turn your computer on, you'll never know it.

56:13 Drew The reviews on Amazon have become sort of a bizarre way for our listeners to communicate to me. They're all like giving personal messages and please say my name on the air. And obviously, guys, I'm not going to say your name on the air because that will create a flood of requests.

56:23 Adam It would if you said something decent about the book.

56:25 Drew Yeah, well, of course, yes.

56:26 Adam You've said people's names on the air all the time.

56:31 Drew No, I'm not going to say just because. There were some interesting reviews I've read.

56:36 Adam Just don't torture yourself. Michelle?

56:39 Yeah, hi.

56:40 Adam You're 21?

56:41 Caller Yes, I am. Well, I just think it's a popular misconception that you have to assume that women don't find male genitalia attractive when it really is.

56:52 Adam Yeah, well, I was trying to sell that to Bianca for about the last 40 minutes, but she shut me down. Yeah, look, nobody likes the scrotum.

57:02 Caller But no, I mean, I can't agree with that.

57:06 Adam You like the scrotum. But you like the scrotum in the context. What happened, Drew?

57:11 Drew Oh my God, there's something really wrong with that coffee.

57:14 Adam Wow, Drew did like a crazy take.

57:15 Caller I didn't know it was the coffee or the scrotum.

57:18 Drew Oh my God, you've got to taste that. That's the impulse a guy has.

57:22 Adam It seems too hot.

57:23 Drew No, it's not too hot.

57:24 Adam It's not too hot?

57:24 Drew It is the most bitter, disgusting coffee I've had in my entire life.

57:30 Adam Yeah, it's horrible. That's really bad coffee. Hey, Michelle.

57:36 Caller Yes.

57:37 Adam So you like male genitalia. But this is on a guy you're attracted to, right?

57:46 Caller I mean, it depends.

57:47 Caller Even if a guy isn't really that attractive, I mean, I think his genitals can still be.

57:52 Adam What about?

57:53 Drew What makes them attractive? What qualities?

57:55 Adam Same. It's a sexuality thing.

57:57 Drew No, no, but she said the guy can be unattractive, but he could have nice genitals.

58:00 Caller What makes it nice?

58:02 Caller Yeah. I mean, you can say the same thing about, I guess, breast for a guy. Like, what specific physical qualities do you find attractive?

58:09 Drew Yeah, a guy could describe that, and we're asking what is it about that?

58:12 Caller Well, probably, like, thickness, like, it's pretty nice. A certain amount of veins, like, not incredibly veiny, but, like...

58:20 Adam Mean veiny, sure.

58:21 Caller Okay. Yeah.

58:22 Caller But the thing that we were discussing wasn't whether or not... I did say that it was unattractive, and that's my personal opinion, but whether a flash of that object would then...

58:33 Drew Evoke sexual feelings.

58:33 Caller Right, exactly. And I'm just saying that a flash of that from somebody, a stranger, isn't necessarily going to do what a boob does...

58:42 Drew To a male.

58:43 Caller To a male.

58:44 Adam Yeah, but you were harsh in the sack a little bit more on that, Bianca.

58:48 Drew A little bit more on that.

58:49 Caller I think it can be definitely sexual and alluring.

58:51 Adam Yeah, well, you know, there are... And listen, thanks for calling in, Michelle.

58:56 Drew We've got a few questions from Michelle.

58:58 Adam No, let me say this, Drew. We've talked about this many times. There are a handful of women that are more visual...

59:05 Drew Yes, yes...

59:07 Adam .than other women. A lot of women don't want to watch pornography, for instance, but there's a handful of women that enjoy pornography, and there's a handful of women that like a little sack shot through the tennis shorts when the guy's drinking a little iced tea, you know, under the umbrella after a tough set.

59:23 Drew Little energy from Michelle.

59:24 Adam Really? Michelle? You're going to UCLA?

59:30 Caller Right.

59:31 Adam You don't sound Asian.

59:33 Caller No, I'm not Asian.

59:37 Adam Well, anyway, and you like the genitalia. Any, we ever abused? Alcoholic dad?

59:45 Caller No?

59:47 Adam No physical abuse?

59:49 Caller No, I'm doing fine there. Yeah.

59:53 Adam Everything cool?

59:54 Caller Yeah.

59:55 Adam Where's your dad?

59:57 Caller You're living in Vegas.

59:58 Drew Uh-oh.

59:59 Adam That's trouble. That's the Vegas in Florida, the storm drain of the United States. The contiguous in the United States just all flow into Vegas and Florida.

1:00:11 Drew Floor drain. The storm drain is too kind.

1:00:13 Adam Well, I just mean it ends up, that's where it ends up. It spills out into the bay with all the other crap that falls in there. Yeah.

1:00:22 Caller Shut up, Drew.

1:00:22 Adam The floor drain goes out in the same place the... How dare you? The storm drain goes... Hey, what's your dad doing in Vegas?

1:00:29 Caller He's just being retired. He used to be an engineer.

1:00:34 Adam Not true. Don't put a puss on. She's a 21-year-old girl that happens to like the look of a man's junk. Let's leave her alone. Is there anything Drew needs to know about you so he can be right?

1:00:49 Caller I don't think so.

1:00:50 Caller I mean, what is he looking for so that he can be right?

1:00:52 Adam He's just looking for your, you know, your dad to have...

1:00:56 Caller I'm a film student, so I guess I am pretty visual.

1:00:59 Adam What kind of film student? Interesting.

1:01:02 Caller Animation.

1:01:04 Adam Nice. Good times.

1:01:07 Caller Yeah.

1:01:09 Adam You have to move to Korea eventually if you're in animation. It's all done. All goes to Korea. It's things like figure the computer out and get it done out here. This is animation, the whole drawing the cells with the, you know, Korean sweatshop thing.

1:01:24 Drew Right.

1:01:24 Adam It's been that way since Tugboat Willie.

1:01:28 Drew Alvin and the Chipmunks. Yeah.

1:01:29 Adam Yeah. I mean, our steamboat Willie or whatever the hell the first animated whatever was, doesn't it seem like really that that technology is just exactly the same as it was?

1:01:40 Drew No, but the labor issues must somehow remain the same.

1:01:43 Adam But it is basically you draw the cells and you.

1:01:46 Drew They don't do that anymore. Do they? They draw the cells still.

1:01:49 Adam I think they do draw the cells and that's why the labor is so intensive.

1:01:53 Drew And then there's the guys like Brad Abelson and guys out here, what do they do?

1:01:56 Adam They create the characters and they they do the animation, but they have to transpose those on the cells or something. I'd like you're saying, why, like if you're a Simpsons animator, what are you doing out here?

1:02:12 Drew Right.

1:02:13 Adam And obviously you're creating the characters and you're probably creating the looks and the movements and things. And then somebody's filling all the thousands of cells it takes to actually make a cartoon. Maybe you're drawing, maybe you're like tracer bullets. You're like every tenth one is one of yours or something. I don't know. I don't know. What do you know about that, Bianca?

1:02:33 Caller Nothing.

1:02:34 Adam All right. Well, then keep quiet.

1:02:36 Caller I am.

1:02:37 Adam Erin? You're 20?

1:02:45 Caller Well, I think that I've met my soulmate, as crazy as that sounds, and it's not even really important because I'm two states away from him now. But we used to be neighbors, and we spent some time together and everything. And I've come back home, and it's been six months, and I still think about him more and more as time goes by. And I wonder if you guys think it's crazy or weird.

1:03:22 Drew What are you doing out here?

1:03:25 Caller I've come back home to, I'm going to school.

1:03:29 Drew What were you doing in Utah or New Mexico or Washington or wherever he is?

1:03:34 Caller I just, I decided to go there and just kind of explore and-

1:03:38 Drew What's he doing there?

1:03:40 Caller He's from there, and he's working, and he's kind of a starving student like I am.

1:03:48 Adam Well, let's talk about this. Usually you end up thinking a lot about somebody from the past when things aren't going so good for you in the present. And you know, when you're the bell, the ball, and everyone's asking you out, you're dating and having a good, fruitful social life, you don't think back at the person back home and start. And then, and when you do, and by the way, when you get in that vulnerable place, you start thinking about the person, then you start building them up. They become a deity at this point. But then you always, we always come back to the question, which is, why didn't you guys go out when you were together? Right. Why did you leave each other?

1:04:24 Caller This is really interesting because, okay, I moved up there with my best friend, and he lived upstairs from us in this building with his best friend. So, our best friends who were neighbors were already in this serious relationship when I moved up there, and both of our apartments were kind of like common ground for all four of us. Actually, actually five of us.

1:04:54 Drew Not interesting.

1:04:54 Adam We're bored. Listen, Erin, let me ask a couple of questions. Did you ever have a physical relationship with this guy?

1:05:02 Caller Yeah. You did? Yeah. We went out a few times and we would end the night kissing and like, you know, cuddling, but we wouldn't sleep together. All right. Except for actually one time we did actually, after we already established that it wouldn't be, it wasn't the right dynamic for a relationship.

1:05:26 Adam It's great when you can get away with establishing the dynamic.

1:05:30 Drew That's a guy telling you this is not a relationship. Yeah.

1:05:33 Adam It's too bad this isn't going to be able to work out. No, no, don't stop sucking. But there are reasons why this happened.

1:05:40 Drew Yeah. It's like I cannot write time of my life. I got to find a job. If I'm in the right place, you'd be the one.

1:05:45 Adam Yeah. Well, how did you guys establish it was the wrong dynamic? Yeah.

1:05:53 Drew What was the establishment?

1:05:55 Caller We we spent so much time together that there was no like we had no we were it was just like it was just a horrible dynamic to be like forced in this relationship with our two smooth work.

1:06:07 Adam This was a beyond. We could never work out because of our proximity and the amount of time we spent together.

1:06:14 Drew You missed it. It was because of the time the the roommates were spending together.

1:06:19 Adam That's what I was saying.

1:06:20 Drew Too much time with those roommates.

1:06:21 Adam There's great sexual chemistry with us and of course, that's not going to stop. But because of the proximity of Jan and Steve, do I have to explain why it couldn't work out for us?

1:06:36 Caller I always think it's so sad that somewhere along the way, and maybe it's the way that movies and television have portrayed relationships to be, but when you're younger and you have these ideas of grandeur of what this relationship is going to be and people think that it doesn't take any work or whatever, but you can almost hear in her voice too the idealization of what this fabulous thing is.

1:06:59 Drew Idealization is a very dangerous mode to be in.

1:07:02 Adam That's right. Aaron?

1:07:04 Drew You've got to accept things on, you've got to think the way he's thinking and accept that. And the way he's thinking is, this is okay, this is cool, maybe we'll have a physical thing, but no, no, no relationship, no.

1:07:15 Adam Yeah, he wasn't that into you. He was a little bit into you, but not much.

1:07:19 Drew And enough to make sure that you didn't get too far in and that he could escape.

1:07:24 Caller And that's not to say that, I mean, you wouldn't want to hold on to that. That's not to say that, you know, years down the road, that person isn't going to kick themselves and be like, yeah.

1:07:32 Caller Yeah. I mean, is it totally ridiculous for me to think that our interaction was serendipitous and amazing and I really feel that he knew that there, I mean, that he felt the sparks too.

1:07:46 Drew No.

1:07:47 Caller I mean, no.

1:07:48 Adam If he'd felt the sparks, he would have let you know.

1:07:50 Drew He'd still be with you.

1:07:54 Adam Well, I mean, come on, listen, here's the...

1:07:56 Drew Guys do not leave things open from... Guys are like freight trains. Come on. They don't...

1:08:01 Adam Let me tell you what guys do too. Guys are amazing at playing stupid when they don't want something in a relationship or a relationship at all. And even once in a while, once in a while some girl wants to have sex with you that you don't want to have sex with. Even her, you can make her think that was her idea that you guys didn't get together or whatever. You know what I mean? Guys are diabolical that way. They can play very stupid and because they have the history or at least a reputation of not being good in relationships and being a little bit thick.

1:08:33 Drew And as much as I want to blame that on guys, it really is women's fault for accepting that BS.

1:08:37 Adam Right.

1:08:38 Drew You should not accept that BS. You've got to think male and female brains do not function the same. You must begin understanding and accepting the way a male's brain work and just deal with it.

1:08:51 Adam But understand, understand if a guy is into you, he's into you and he'll let you know all about it and he'll hang on with both hands. He really will. And it's not, see people think, here's what women think. Women think this guy's into me, but he's a guy and he doesn't know how to function in a relationship. So he doesn't know how to be into me even though he really is into me.

1:09:14 Drew When you're in, I mean, the guy that doesn't know how to function in the relationship will hang on like crazy, be on your doorstep every day, and cheat, and be an idiot, and not be available when you want him, but be there all the time.

1:09:25 Adam Give your daddy a twist or get drunk.

1:09:28 Caller And I think that girls or women tend to think that just because we act that way in relationships, because we do, like we'll do the little coy things and the push away or whatever, that guys do the same thing and they don't.

1:09:42 Adam And they're not big game players when they're interested. You will, like anything else a guy is interested in, a piece of real estate, a car, a job or a woman, you will know and he will go after it.

1:09:54 Drew Period.

1:09:55 Adam Thank you.

1:09:55 Drew It's a direct line. It's not a jagged thing. All right.

1:09:59 Adam All right, Drew, let's go to the bathroom. We'll be back.

1:10:05 Caller Loveline with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

1:10:13 Caller Love Live 105, Alternative, San Francisco.

1:10:24 Adam Loveline.

1:10:25 Bianca Kajlich That's Dr. Drew.

1:10:26 Adam Bianca Kajlich is our guest tonight. She is on Me Baby, which is UPN, 9 o'clock Tuesday nights, tomorrow night. And then after that, your fabulous Crank Yankers on Comedy Central. Also, the Ataris coming in here tomorrow night. Jack Black's gonna be in here. Also, Adrian. And what's her nose from Bow Wow Wow? I remember her, Drew.

1:10:53 Drew Annabella?

1:10:53 Adam Yeah, yeah. Adrian from No Doubt is gonna be in here with her and then Triumphia, Insult Wonder Dog, Lincoln Park, Cypher Sale, Papa Roach. All gonna be in here in the next, what is it, about eight days?

1:11:06 Bianca Kajlich That's quite a lineup.

1:11:09 Adam Yeah. All right.

1:11:11 Drew Here we go.

1:11:12 Adam Here we go, buddy.

1:11:13 Drew If you point at that screen long enough, maybe the caller will spontaneously.

1:11:17 Adam I gotta get my think on, Drew. I can't just power into every call blindly like you. I like to really focus on who I'm talking to and what we're talking about.

1:11:27 Drew Notice that.

1:11:27 Adam And how I can turn it toward me. You know what I'm saying? Now let's see. Daniel had unprotected sex with girlfriend.

1:11:35 Bianca Kajlich All right.

1:11:37 Adam She had a gay boyfriend.

1:11:38 Bianca Kajlich All right.

1:11:39 Adam Daniel.

1:11:42 Drew Yeah, this is Deanna.

1:11:45 Caller I was calling, I called last night about your whole oral sex thing that you had. You said, or anal sex, that there wasn't none in pornos or only in certain pornos. Every single porno.

1:11:58 Drew Oh, right.

1:11:58 Adam We never did speak to her on the air, did we?

1:12:00 Caller You guys, it was at the end of the night. And then-

1:12:03 Adam Yeah, your call was up there, yeah.

1:12:05 Caller Yeah. I want to tell you, Drew, you're right. Girls, they think that they have to do all this stuff for these guys and they don't. It doesn't-

1:12:13 Drew It really, you're right, and I think-

1:12:15 Adam Drew's a genius.

1:12:16 Drew No, I think women need to be empowered to-

1:12:24 Adam Yeah.

1:12:25 Drew The guys are gonna do what they do anyway. Throughout human history, women have contained men. We stopped doing that about 30 years ago. At the time, we did that again.

1:12:35 Adam Smart, that's right. We need to be contained. You can start tonight. Drew's out of control. Let's entertain him, please. What's going on? Hold on, hold on one second. I smell junior college. Deanna? You go to junior college?

1:13:05 Caller Did I go to junior college? No. I am from Maryland. I'm 22, I've been here for two years. I, I don't know.

1:13:15 Adam You thinking about junior college?

1:13:16 Caller I wanna be a phlebotomist.

1:13:18 Adam A phlebotomist?

1:13:20 Caller A phlebotomist.

1:13:21 Adam And- Are you planning on going to junior college?

1:13:26 Caller Oh yeah, I'm gonna go. I just, I don't know.

1:13:29 Adam The only thing worse than someone who's actually attending junior college, someone who has it as a distant goal, one day, God willing, stars align, everything works out, I will be going to junior college.

1:13:39 Caller I've had, well it's just, I-

1:13:42 Adam You don't have to plan to go to junior college, by the way. Just show up, you show up drunk on a Wednesday, you get right in.

1:13:48 Caller I didn't graduate. I quit school when I was 15. I'm from small town. And I'm not stupid, but I just, I don't- No, no, no. I have to take care of my baby. I can't, you know? I gotta work, I can't.

1:14:04 Adam Not work?

1:14:06 Caller Yeah, I work.

1:14:08 Adam Now you sound like a genius. I didn't mean to-

1:14:12 Drew What's your question, Deanna?

1:14:13 Caller I was just calling to tell you that you are right and these girls need to learn that they don't have to do everything the guy says. You know?

1:14:22 Drew You don't have to worry about keeping guys happy.

1:14:25 Adam Is there a guy there? How old's your kid?

1:14:27 Caller My daughter is five. Yeah, my boyfriend is here.

1:14:30 Adam He's demanding anal right now?

1:14:33 Caller No, he never.

1:14:34 Bianca Kajlich All right.

1:14:34 Adam It's a good man.

1:14:35 Caller I don't do it and he respects me for that.

1:14:38 Adam He's a keeper.

1:14:39 Bianca Kajlich He's a keeper.

1:14:40 Caller Yeah.

1:14:41 Adam What branch of the construction field is he in?

1:14:44 Caller Actually, he works in the movies.

1:14:46 Adam He does?

1:14:47 Caller In Maryland?

1:14:47 Adam Building props. He's a prop guy?

1:14:50 Caller He's a...

1:14:51 Adam Set builder?

1:14:52 Caller Yeah, something like that. Cool man, something.

1:14:55 Drew It'd be a car.

1:14:56 Adam It'd be a car. All right, baby. Sound like a genius.

1:15:00 Caller You have a good night.

1:15:01 Drew All right, take care now.

1:15:02 Adam How's that like?

1:15:03 Drew She's fine.

1:15:04 Adam All right. Boyfriend's a carpenter, that's all I'm saying. Then I asked what branch he was in.

1:15:10 Caller That is the best kind of man you can have.

1:15:12 Drew A carpenter?

1:15:13 Caller Of course. You need something built, it's built.

1:15:16 Adam That's right.

1:15:17 Caller There you go.

1:15:18 Adam Except for he's drunk and he's banging his sister. Other than that, his carpenters are great guys. Guy who knows his way around the wood shop, exciting for you? Turn on?

1:15:30 Caller I just like the fact that, you know, if I wanted something like a deck built, he could build it. You know, he's handy.

1:15:39 Drew Adam, she doesn't know about you.

1:15:41 Adam Oh yeah, I'm a builder, baby. Are you? Oh yeah. And let me say something, too. Not one of these pussy Hollywood guys is, no, no, builder.

1:15:50 Caller Is that what they say?

1:15:51 Adam Real builder. Real builder. Not these, not these Hollywood guys. I could build a house or anything in a house.

1:16:02 Caller Like a real builder.

1:16:04 Adam The real, no, a real builder, that's what I'm saying.

1:16:06 Caller I'm getting that.

1:16:07 Adam Not the handy homos running around with the 9.6 Makita cordless. I'm talking real, talking about fabricating. Yes, Drew?

1:16:16 Drew Yes, I've seen your work.

1:16:16 Adam Drew knows. Have you seen my work, Drew?

1:16:19 Drew Crazy.

1:16:20 Adam Crazy work, right?

1:16:21 Bianca Kajlich Not like novelty.

1:16:23 Drew Novelty like, yeah, like if I were to try to figure out where to find a contractor that does what you do, I wouldn't know what to do. Oh, thanks, buddy.

1:16:32 Adam Oh, that's nice. I didn't wring it out of him, but that's nice. Nice. No, I just mean, I don't want to be lumped in with the weekend hobby guys. That's what I'm saying.

1:16:42 Drew In fact, I was standing in front of your house and a contractor came by, and I'll tell you this, and he was like, yeah, I've been driving by this house for months watching, and he goes, I love seeing the work of a man with vision. I'm like, let me introduce you to the guy. But he was very complimentary.

1:17:01 Adam Oh, thanks. Frank? I think Bianca just turned the corner on me.

1:17:05 Drew That's why I told that story.

1:17:07 Bianca Kajlich I was thinking about the building.

1:17:08 Adam Oh yeah. 10 of every tool.

1:17:11 Drew A deck, a deck.

1:17:12 Adam Deck, deck in my sleep, baby.

1:17:14 Caller That's nothing.

1:17:15 Adam I fart decks out. I farted a deck out and a lounge and the furniture. Hibachi, the whole thing. Cracked one out just the other day. That's a big zero. That's a two for me. I wish that was all I had to do. Frank? You're 20?

1:17:37 Caller Yep.

1:17:38 Adam What's up?

1:17:39 Caller Oh, nothing much. Just hating life right now.

1:17:43 Adam Do you have a home improvement question?

1:17:46 Caller What?

1:17:47 Adam Home improvement question?

1:17:49 Caller Oh, no. My question was, is I am highly addicted to marijuana right now. And there's nothing really wrong with that, in my opinion, but it's just something that I've been trying to quit for the past couple of years. I've been in and out of rehab.

1:18:03 Drew Frank, there's nothing wrong with heroin addiction either. It's just, it's a disease process, a biology, and it's one of them things. And you gotta have treatment. It doesn't stop by itself. You're wanting to pass judgment on it and say something right or wrong about it. It's just a biology. And it's a behavioral manifestation of a particular biological process and has psychological elements to it and it needs to be treated.

1:18:24 Adam You've been in and out of rehab for marijuana?

1:18:28 Caller Yeah, just cause.

1:18:30 Adam You're getting in trouble with the law.

1:18:32 Caller Yeah, well, you know.

1:18:33 Adam Yeah, nobody goes to rehab at 20 for weed unless somebody sends them. A judge is sending you.

1:18:39 Drew The parents that sent them.

1:18:40 Caller Nah, this is the judge. It was the judge, but I gave it a shot, but it's one of those deals where my environment is, I don't know, a single person doesn't smoke pot, you know?

1:18:51 Drew Yeah.

1:18:51 Adam Well, you're hanging out in the wrong place. I mean, look, here's the deal. All right, let me say this. Okay, people, here's the thing about drugs. They're not inherently evil, just like cars aren't inherently evil. But if you get effed up and you hop up on the sidewalk and run over a few people, then you can't drive a car anymore. You get into trouble. Some people can have a glass of wine after work, maybe two or three, beat off to a little TiVo. No problem.

1:19:20 Drew And three more.

1:19:21 Adam Okay, but no problems. That's my point. They hold down jobs, they go to work, they have successful radio shows. They're builders with vision. The point is, is some people, other people get busted, get popped, get into trouble, go through the court system. That is, Frank, that's what happened to you. You gotta quit.

1:19:41 Drew Yeah, you got a disease process and you've gotta get serious about the treatment. It is not gonna get better by itself. It's not gonna get better with you trying to make it better, white-knuckling it. It doesn't, it's not inherent in the biology. It requires treatment.

1:19:54 Caller It's been a while since I was in trouble, but I'm getting to the point where, like, I'm going to school to be an EMT. So I'm more or less trying to do it for Morley, but I'll go days and I'll try and not go.

1:20:04 Drew Frank, do you hear a word I'm saying?

1:20:06 Caller Yeah.

1:20:07 Drew You cannot stop it on your own. It doesn't work that way when you're at this stage of the disease.

1:20:11 Caller Yeah.

1:20:12 Drew And it is not a moral issue. It's not a weakness. It is a particular biology of the central regions of your brain. And if you do not get it treated, it isn't going to stop. You're going to get, eventually the syndrome is you get depressed and you'll switch to something else, usually speed. And that's the way that goes. You're a human with a disease process. And if you don't take a treatment, it's not going to get better.

1:20:33 Adam I'd say, Drew, when I hear EMT, I have to laugh every time because as you know, it's an emergency medical technician. Yeah. To me, because I'm a builder, it's electromagnetic tubing. It's a rigid conduit. So I always gotta laugh, gotta smile. I'm trying to be an EMT. You're trying to be a rigid piece of conduit?

1:20:59 Bianca Kajlich I have to laugh.

1:21:01 Drew Didn't work, didn't work.

1:21:02 Adam Didn't work.

1:21:02 Drew She's looking. Yeah, she's looking, but that's okay.

1:21:05 Adam She's impressed though, right?

1:21:07 Drew She's impressed, yeah, impressed. So give us some more wood. Wood seems to be the thing for decks.

1:21:11 Adam All right, decks. We'll take some home improvement questions tonight, Drew. That's what we need. Ask me a deck question. There's some home improvement questions, yeah?

1:21:21 Drew Yeah. All right.

1:21:22 Adam Take a boring bit, a quick break. Me Babies, the name of the show. You gotta watch, yeah, we gotta keep it on. Bianca's gotta get enough money to build a deck. Please. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back.

1:21:37 Caller Love Line with Adam Corolla and Dr. Drew.

1:21:56 Adam I'm Adam. That's Dr. Drew. Phone number 1-800-LOVE-191. Jack Black coming in here at the end of the week. The Atari's in tomorrow night. Bianca Kajlich is our guest tonight. She's from Me Baby. Tuesday nights on UPN.

1:22:15 Caller All right.

1:22:17 Adam You wanna do it with Germany or Florida?

1:22:18 Drew Sure. Do a couple of them. We got a couple up there.

1:22:21 Caller Really?

1:22:21 Drew And then Home Improvement.

1:22:23 Caller And then Home Improvement.

1:22:25 Adam James. No.

1:22:26 Caller Yeah.

1:22:27 Adam You're 20? I'm 20.

1:22:28 Caller Uh-huh.

1:22:29 Adam What's up? Everyone asked Drew doctor questions all week long. What's wrong with a little Home Improvement? Go ahead, James.

1:22:36 Caller Oh, okay. First, just wanna say you guys are awesome. Thank you. Got a Germany or Florida for you.

1:22:41 Adam All right.

1:22:42 Caller 16 year old girl gets in trouble for going to school with a T-shirt covered in packaged condoms. He distributed about 50 of them to classmates before getting caught and suspended.

1:22:54 Caller Mm-hmm.

1:22:57 Adam I heard this one today, so I'm gonna abstain.

1:23:00 Drew Florida. Florida.

1:23:02 Caller Yeah.

1:23:03 Adam It was Florida, wasn't it? Yep. All right, Drew. See, I pull out, Drew slides in, doesn't miss a beat. All right, good times there, James. All right, you too. Let's see. This poor guy's been a hole for 76 minutes.

1:23:18 Bianca Kajlich I wanna talk to him. Sure, sure.

1:23:20 Adam Talk to Jason, who's on line five. Jason.

1:23:24 Bianca Kajlich Gentlemen.

1:23:24 Drew Gentlemen.

1:23:25 Adam Year 26, what's up?

1:23:27 Bianca Kajlich I have a situation with my girlfriend, who I've been seeing now for about a year and a half. We now live together. Before we got together, I would use pornography to masturbate. Sure. Right. And eventually I stopped because I started to feel guilty, like I was cheating or something like that, sitting there admiring some of the firsts of us.

1:23:51 Drew Did she make you feel that way or is that something you came up on yourself?

1:23:54 Bianca Kajlich No, actually she would come and visit me in my home. I have like a Playboy calendar or something simple on the wall.

1:24:00 Drew Did that bug her?

1:24:02 Bianca Kajlich It might have, but she didn't trip about it.

1:24:07 Adam That's not advanced porn.

1:24:08 Drew It's not even porn, is it?

1:24:09 Adam I don't think it's porn anymore. I don't think a Playboy calendar would be considered, I think it's sort of quaint porn. That's grandpa's porn.

1:24:18 Bianca Kajlich Well, now that I know her well, it's not something that she was very comfortable with.

1:24:23 Drew So you probably knew that she was freaking out about it.

1:24:27 Bianca Kajlich I didn't know that. Well, I'm sitting there and taking care of business and I'm like, you know, this doesn't really feel right. I care about this girl, yet I'm doing this.

1:24:35 Adam But it was just something that wasn't around. What was your best month over there? So when the Playboy calendar would come out, you would have to argue for the month of your birthday.

1:24:46 Bianca Kajlich Well, I was into the special edition.

1:24:48 Adam What are you? You'd be like, September's so much hotter than May. And I'd be like, are you kidding? May kicked September's ass. Look how hot she is. You know, cause once your month was hotter than your buddy's month, well then you're in.

1:25:01 Drew And then sixth grade came around.

1:25:03 Caller Right.

1:25:04 Drew What's that, Jason?

1:25:06 Bianca Kajlich I wasn't into the month to month. I was more of the special edition with no articles.

1:25:11 Drew Anyway, so what's the question?

1:25:12 Caller Well, so I stopped.

1:25:14 Bianca Kajlich I stopped, but then over time, I got back into it. Slowly, like at first I'd do a magazine or something like that.

1:25:21 Drew What's the question? What's the question?

1:25:23 Adam All right, is he just yanking our fleshy chain? Or is he just one of these guys that has trouble forming thoughts?

1:25:30 Drew He's very anxious.

1:25:32 Adam Jason.

1:25:33 Bianca Kajlich My question is, because I have gone back to pornography and I'm now lusting over physically attractive women, does that mean that I am pulling away from the girl or is it because I've allowed myself to go back to that and not resisted it?

1:25:52 Adam Okay, listen. Okay, here's the deal. Don't make this whole big battle of good and evil within yourself and pornography. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. You really are. You're a 26-year-old guy. If you feel like spanking off to something you see on the internet once in a while, no harm, no foul. You can still love your girlfriend and respect your girlfriend.

1:26:12 Bianca Kajlich I knew you would say that, but I think...

1:26:15 Adam Dr. Drew would say that too. Here's the thing. I'm against it. It's weird. It's like you have a problem when you start talking about the problem too much. Do you know what I mean?

1:26:26 Drew Right.

1:26:27 Adam Every guy I know just beats off the God knows what, God knows why.

1:26:30 Drew It's one thing...

1:26:31 Adam He's obsessing on it.

1:26:32 Drew Right.

1:26:32 Adam And there's a sort of retarded religious overtones too.

1:26:35 Drew There was. It's one thing though, if he is obsessing and compulsively involving himself with pornography to the point where he is pulling away from the relationship or using the point out to manage feelings or affecting his work or having consequences. This is none of that.

1:26:51 Adam Jason, are you religious?

1:26:54 Bianca Kajlich In the past, but not currently. Christianity.

1:27:01 Adam Well, that's enough. It's enough of that nonsense, all right? You get to spanking. That's what the real God wanted you to do. That's what my God wants.

1:27:09 Bianca Kajlich Well, it hurts her now that she knows that I've been doing it.

1:27:14 Adam Listen, this is just that sort of stupid, retard couple dance you do when you're 16.

1:27:19 Drew She's 26 though.

1:27:20 Adam All right, but sometimes it goes on for 10 years. No, you can do this at 26.

1:27:26 Bianca Kajlich Bianca, how old are you? 26.

1:27:28 Adam That's right. That's what I'm saying. This is gonna happen. Maybe later tonight. What's gonna happen? Well, here's all I'm saying. Guys at 26 and then girls too. You start getting into that. You put on the jeweler's loop and examine everything too closely. It hurts me when you do this. I'm gonna try to stop. At a certain point, you get a little bit older, you get a little wiser and you just start realizing, look, there's certain stuff I do, I keep separate. Certain stuff she does, she keeps separate. We don't need to know what whatever, who's thinking what all the time. And also everything you do isn't directed at me. You like to go off and do what you do, I like to go off and do what I do once in a while. It doesn't mean it's an attack. It doesn't even mean I'm thinking of you.

1:28:07 Drew Doesn't mean anything.

1:28:08 Caller Doesn't mean anything.

1:28:10 Bianca Kajlich See? Thank you.

1:28:11 Adam Found out I could build a deck and all of a sudden.

1:28:14 Drew She's on your side.

1:28:14 Adam Nothing but head nods and smiles over there. All right, let's talk to.

1:28:18 Drew Trying to figure what this line one is all about here. Let's get that up. Line one? Yeah, I wonder what he's into here.

1:28:24 Adam David. You're 18, what's going on?

1:28:28 Caller All right, this is my question. What kind of questions do you guys think I should ask a sociopath? I'll explain why I'm asking a sociopath in a little bit. But what kind of questions do you guys think I should ask him?

1:28:42 Adam For what? What are you trying to achieve?

1:28:44 Caller No, I'm having a sociopath come to my abnormal psychology class. And what, you know, he's going to talk to the class and stuff and we're going to be able to ask him questions. The thing is, I don't know what to ask this guy. I mean, like, I don't know. I mean, I know that they're, you know, psycho and everything like that, but like.

1:29:00 Drew You a Mormon?

1:29:03 Adam Is a sociopath as?

1:29:04 Caller A sociopath is worse than Hannibal Lecter. A sociopath has no remorse, no feelings.

1:29:09 Adam Yeah, they're all worse.

1:29:10 Drew Yeah. Hannibal Lecter is like a psychopath.

1:29:12 Adam No, no, I know.

1:29:13 Caller He's worse than, this guy is worse than Hannibal Lecter. That's what I'm saying.

1:29:17 Drew No, no. Good luck.

1:29:19 Adam He's going to eat the entire class. He's worse. How do you get worse than eating a bunch of people? I mean, like worse actor. What do you mean? Ask him about his sign is and that kind of stuff.

1:29:33 Drew Ask him about his relationships, ask him about his family of origin.

1:29:36 Caller He likes home improvement.

1:29:38 Caller I mean, yeah.

1:29:38 Drew We learn a lot about, what?

1:29:40 Caller Is it true that they know the difference between right and wrong, but they just have no remorse?

1:29:45 Drew What about that? The part of the brain that is used that develops empathy doesn't develop normally in these folks. So they have attachment problems and their self is incomplete and they never get the opportunity to develop the part of the brain that is part of the right orbital frontal system that's responsible for activating regions that allow for empathy to grow. So they don't get empathy. They don't have empathy. It's just that part of their brain doesn't function. So when you have feelings and experiences, they don't really acknowledge them. They don't register them.

1:30:13 Adam Little of that's good. Just a dash.

1:30:16 Drew That's you.

1:30:16 Adam Just frankly.

1:30:17 Drew I know, that's what I'm saying.

1:30:18 Adam Well, look.

1:30:18 Drew I overdo that and you underdo that.

1:30:20 Adam Well, I don't look up my name on the internet, so who cares? What's wrong with that?

1:30:26 Drew What's wrong with caring too much?

1:30:28 Adam Yeah, but caring, see, here's the problem. When you take a word and you give it a-

1:30:33 Drew A valence.

1:30:34 Adam You give it a valence and it becomes a sort of, you give a positive word. Like you say caring and then you say you do too much. Like I love too much. Nah, it's not quite that.

1:30:45 Drew But it's pathology. I'll call it that. Focus too much on other people.

1:30:49 Adam All right, Scott. Yeah, it's a euphemism, caring.

1:30:53 Drew I mean, in your, Yeah, yeah, I agree with you.

1:30:56 Adam You're an angry, angry man. You're scaring me. Scott? Hello? Yeah, you've been on hold for 76 minutes. So I'm taking, I'm caring for you a little too much. Yeah.

1:31:07 Caller Well, thank you, Mr. Adam.

1:31:08 Adam Your pals are getting into coke and drugs and you're not?

1:31:11 Caller Well, basically what I wanted to know was when do you draw the line between helping them out and just letting them go? Hmm.

1:31:18 Drew You can't really help them out. That's up to them. You can sort of confront them with what you're seeing and that's it. That's all you can do. And really if it comes to the point where somebody thinks somebody's endangering themselves, sometimes the only thing that does catch their attention is loss. And so you becoming a something that they value and lose might catch their attention, but that's about all you can do.

1:31:40 Adam How old are your buddies?

1:31:41 Caller Attempted to do that and I laid down the ground rules of what I expect and no, no.

1:31:47 Drew That will not work.

1:31:47 Adam And let me tell you something too. These, if these guys are your age, they got about 10 years before they get it out of their system. I spent my entire 20s just pleading with roommates to quit doing drugs and hiding drugs. And then having my other roommate wanting to flush drugs down the toilet, in which case I had to block the toilet because it was like, let's not do anything. Come on. Well, I can still do the drugs. You don't have to flush them down the toilet. Oh, it was great.

1:32:14 Drew There's the point. You can't make any rules, Scott. What you can do is let them know how you feel about what you see them doing and then step back. That's all you can do.

1:32:22 Adam Weas took a sack of bootleg coiludes and buried them in the yard so Chris wouldn't find them.

1:32:27 Drew This was great.

1:32:28 Adam That was great. He's running for the toilet. I'm diving in front of him. That's good times. Yeah, just, but anyway, the point is, is 10 years later, everything was fine. Just hard to do anything with guys who've been moving.

1:32:38 Drew Couple guys did make it, but that's all right.

1:32:41 Adam All right, that's it. I'm a sociopath, what do I care? I'm more interested in Bianca's deck. All right, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Yeah, drill. Well, that's the show.

1:33:21 Drew Well, yeah, Drew, what?

1:33:22 Adam That's Twisting Your Dad's Breast. They don't say dad's breast.

1:33:27 Drew What do you say?

1:33:28 Adam It seems weird.

1:33:29 Drew What do you say?

1:33:29 Adam He's like a preoperative transvestite, a transsexual. Is it t-Twister?

1:33:35 Drew No, I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon.

1:33:38 Adam Bianca, God bless you. You're a cool, cool breeze of fresh air in this studio.

1:33:45 Caller Thank you.

1:33:46 Adam Yes, you come back anytime you like.

1:33:48 Caller Thanks very much.

1:33:49 Adam Me Baby, name of the show. Tuesday nights, UPN, nine o'clock. And tomorrow night, the Atari's will be in here. And until next time, this Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew is saying, Mahalo.

1:33:59 Caller Distributed about 50 of them to classmates before getting caught and suspended.

1:34:04 Drew You're gay.

1:34:08 Caller This has been Loveline. The opinions expressed on this show are not necessarily those of the staff, management, sponsors, or this station. The producer for Loveline is Annie Gold. Loveline is a presentation of Westwood One Entertainment.

Episode Feedback

Monday, November 3, 2003